TEN Strategies to be SUCCESSFUL in LIFE & BUSINESS By Dineshrie Pillay
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted for resale or use by any party other than the individual purchaser who is the sole authorized user of this information. Purchaser is authorized to use any of the information in this publication for his or her own use only. All other reproduction or transmission, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any informational storage or retrieval system, is prohibited without express written permission from the author. LEGAL NOTICES While all attempts have been made to provide effective, verifiable information in this Book, the Author assumes no responsibility for errors, inaccuracies, or omissions. Any similarity to people or organizations is unintentional. If advice concerning business matters is needed, the services of a qualified professional should be sought. This Book is not a source of business information, and it should not be regarded as such. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. If expert business assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought. As with any business advice, the reader is strongly encouraged to seek professional business counsel before taking action.
CopyrightŠ2012 by Dineshrie Pillay
Table of Contents 1. Purpose.............................................................................................................. 4 2. The Power of Negative Thinking ......................................................................... 8 3. Attitude............................................................................................................ 11 4. Action .............................................................................................................. 14 5. Association....................................................................................................... 17 6. Standards ......................................................................................................... 20 7. Failure .............................................................................................................. 23 8. Persistence....................................................................................................... 26 9. Quality Questions............................................................................................. 29 10. Comfort Zones................................................................................................ 32 Resources that you may want to explore: ............................................................ 35
1. Purpose “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” Epictetus Before you can achieve any kind of success in life, you need to start with a purpose. At this stage, I would like to distinguish between a life purpose and a goal. Definition: o A goal is an attainable short term, time-bound, outcome based, and measurable activity. o A life purpose is an overarching calling that drives you to do something. It is something that you carry for your life. So for example, Simon might have a goal this year to complete his studies towards a business qualification. This is a goal, for once he has achieved this, Simon will move on to a new goal - like gaining more work experience using his newly acquired qualification. Concurrently,
Simon’s
life
purpose
might
be
to
become
a
consultant, trainer, and speaker inspiring people on how to become entrepreneurs themselves. He will use all the life experiences that he has gained, among other things being, the studies towards his business qualification, in his work when he consults with individuals and groups.
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Personal Digression: I myself struggled with the concept of defining my ‘life purpose.’ What if I get it wrong? What if I change my mind along the way? How can I be certain that I have defined it correctly? In the course of trying to define my life purpose, I came across this simple exercise – it is called the $20 million test, and comprises two separate questions – do these independently. The $20mil test Part 1: If I told you today, that I am giving you a cheque for $20mil, with one condition, that I will invest $10mil of that money on your behalf into property that will earn you a minimum return of 10% rental income of $1m per annum that will increase with inflation each year. What will you do with the remainder of the money? On a page write down how you would spend that money. Part 2: Now assume that 10 years has lapsed since you first received the $10m, and you have traveled the world, purchased the car and house of your dreams, bought whatever you desired, what else would you do for the rest of your life, knowing that you have a steady income flowing from rentals? I like this exercise as it shows that when money and the attainment of personal wealth, and material desires have been achieved, most people have a greater dream of making a difference of some kind to the people around them, or to society at large – This in essence is your life purpose!
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Once you have gained some insights on what your life purpose is – you can take the next step and write down a ‘Life Purpose Statement.’ Life Purpose Statement This is a summary of what you would love to be, do, and have. As an illustration, your purpose statement could be something like: “I, [name withheld] hereby declare before others and myself that the purpose of my life is to be an expert on the subject of entrepreneurship. I will do this by learning from the greatest entrepreneurial minds that have graced this earth. I will study their work and read their biographies. I will focus all my energy on understanding the factors and traits of becoming a successful entrepreneur and I will share my knowledge with others in the form of my books, CD’s, on-line videos, trade-shows, and conferences. In this way I may have social prestige and financial abundance whilst making hundreds of people feel good every day, leaving a legacy for others to follow and working with people whom I admire as entrepreneurs.” Once you have written your purpose statement, constantly review and refine it. Then link everything that you do to your purpose – you will become more inspired to do the work!
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1. What are your short-term goals for the next 12 months? 2. What is your ‘higher calling’? 3. Have you defined what your life purpose is? 4. Have you written down your life purpose statement? 5. Do you constantly review and refine your life purpose statement? 6. Personal plans: do you know what you will be doing over the next day, week, month or year? 7. Have you linked everything that you do to your purpose?
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2. The Power of Negative Thinking “The will to win is worthless if you do not have the will to prepare.”
Thane Yost
You probably would have read and heard a lot about the power of ‘Positive Thinking,’ but do not negate the power of ‘Negative Thinking,’ as well. Once you have documented your ‘life purpose,’ and detailed plans, before you take action, you need to consider what can go wrong with the implementation of these plans – this is essentially what negative thinking is about. By thinking about what the worst outcome could be, and working backwards, you will be able to come up with possible ways to mitigate failure. Remember that this step is not about avoiding failure - because you are most likely still going to encounter failure of some sort - this is about how to be most prepared in the event that an undesirable event occurs.
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Personal Digression: In my own planning, I first write down the key factors and milestones that are crucial for a successful outcome. Then by using a series of simple “What If” questions I am able to think and plan for potential problems: 1. What if the budget is underestimated? 2. What if the allocated resources to this project are incomplete? 3. What if the timeframes are too optimistic? 4. What if the people assigned to this project are misaligned? 5. What if there are delays?
The above questions are meant to illustrate the process. The actual questions that you use will naturally be dependent on the outcome that you wish to achieve. However, the principle remains the same – your objective is to employ the power of negative thinking by asking “What if” questions. By doing so, you will gain insights on possible risks highlighting what could go wrong with the plan. Once you identify these risks, your next step is to have at least one back-up plan in place for each critical stage identified, to ensure success of your desired outcome.
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Expert insights 1. Do you have a detailed plan in place? 2. Have you thought about the worst possible outcome and worked backwards to try to avert it? 3. Did you employ the power of ‘negative thinking’ to identify potential risks? 4. Do you have at least one back-up plan in place to mitigate these risks? 5. Do you have the resources in place to employ this back-up plan if required to do so? 6. Have you tested your back up plan/(s)?
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3. Attitude
“Think highly of yourself because the world takes you at your own estimates.” Unknown
It is commonly known that it takes about 7 seconds for a person to make a first impression of you. People take their cues from your attitude as to how they should think about you. In truth, your attitude is visible to everyone. Develop an attitude that projects to others that you are worth a lot – this is how others will value you. There is a phrase that says, ‘Dress as seriously as you wish to be taken.’ Dressing for the job that you want and not for the job you have now, is part of having a winning attitude. Attitude is also about having self-confidence in your abilities and self-worth. Part of building self-confidence is to ensure that you do your homework, and are well prepared for any type of question or obstacle. Attitude comes from believing in your own abilities. Whilst there may be naysayers around you that may be putting down your plans – ultimately you need to believe in your own ability. Never let the voices on the outside become louder than your voice on the inside – this is part of having a winning attitude!
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Personal Digression: I have summarised below a checklist for you to ensure that you always have that ‘winning’ attitude: 1. Take pride in your look. Your clothing, shoes and hairstyle are on display and need to be in line with the image you wish to project; 2. Take time to regularly groom yourself. Untidy hair; overgrown facial hair; pet-hair on clothing, does not project a winning attitude; 3. Walk straight and briskly. Keep your head up and make eyecontact with people that you talk to; 4. Invest in a least one good quality suit; pen; handbag; travelbag
and
briefcase.
In
meetings
clients
will
make
an
assessment of you based on the items that you surround yourself with; 5. Think twice about the hotels that you stay in as these too project an image about you; 6. Believe in your abilities and become a friend to failure – this is how you will build character and strength – traits of having a successful attitude; 7. Practice your techniques; research in advance and become an expert in your chosen field as this builds your self-confidence that will give you the winning attitude.
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Expert insights 1. Do you have a winning attitude? 2. Are you taking the time to invest in your wardrobe and personal grooming? 3. Do you walk briskly and make eye contact with people? 4. Do you have a high self-worth? 5. Are you an expert in your field of work? Do you take the time to research in advance? 6. Do you believe in your own ability and self-worth?
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4. Action “The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.” Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher
There is a natural sequence of events to any experience: 1. First: You think about what you would like to do; 2. Second: You start talking about what you would like to do; 3. Third: You take ACTION and do what you have stated you would! As beings, we move towards our most dominating thought, so it is important that we monitor our thoughts as these thoughts eventually lead to our actions. Once you have set your goals, and have clear action plans - look out for opportunities to act on them. If an opportunity presents itself, do not hesitate or wait for the ‘perfect’ opportunity. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ opportunity – it is up to you to take action and make the best out of the opportunity that has presented itself. You will gain more knowledge and experience from starting right away than you would learn by doing nothing. If you do hesitate to take up the opportunity, it might be because you fear failure and it is this fear that causes you to procrastinate. It is important for you to break this fear as quickly as you can, else you might be making empty promises.
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Personal Digression: My personal ‘action steps’ can often involve any of the following activities: 1. Find someone who has already achieved what you want to do. Take them out for lunch. Ask them for little tips and tricks of the trade. 2. Read biographies of great leaders. Make your own notes and regularly read these. Doing so is like sticking your hand in a jam jar – eventually some of that ‘greatness’ sticks to you! 3. Research the internet on the work that you would like to get involved with – there is a wealth of free resources that could give you a head start! 4. Invest in your education – take extra classes, purchase DVD’s and CD’s to listen to. Search the newspapers and online associations – some of them offer free courses that could give you additional insights! 5. Develop your service and or product and offer it to people at a discounted price or for free – ask for feedback on how to improve.
Part of taking action is to build momentum. In order to build momentum, you need to focus on achieving a goal with passion and intensity. Start with a simple action plan and constantly keep busy. Surround yourself with a mentor or someone who can play the role of an, ‘accountability coach’ – this is a person that you regularly report your progress to. Constantly challenge yourself to achieve more. Be your own worst critique and push yourself to deliver greater standards of work. Once you have built momentum, never stop growing. The moment
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you stand still is the moment when you will lose momentum and your goals take longer to achieve. Expert insights 1. What is your dominating thought? Is it in line with your biggest goal that you wish to achieve? 2. Do you take advantage of opportunities that are presented to you? 3. Do you take action and use the people and resources around you to get started on your goal? 4. Do you invest in further education in pursuit of your goal? 5. Are you building momentum? Do you keep busy in the pursuit of your goals? 6. Do you critique and challenge yourself to achieve greater standards?
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5. Association “Associating with like-minded, success-orientated, joyful individuals – or dream teaming - is the most amazing success tool that exists.” Mark Victor Hansen
In taking action, I did mention that you should consider surrounding yourself with ‘accountability coaches’; ‘mentors’; and/or read biographies of great leaders. This is essentially what association is about! In reality, you can only do so much by yourself. I agree that you can achieve your goals, in your own time. But if you surround yourself with like-minded individuals who have already achieved what you would like to achieve, then you can shorten your own learning curve and reach your dreams quicker. If you want to achieve really big things in life, then you will need other people to help you to accomplish these. You need to hire the best people; outsource work that you do not have the capacity or expertise in; delegate work to others, and have partnerships and affiliates with people and companies that complement your work.
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Personal Digression: Below are my top tips to associate yourself with greatness: 1. Find a club, society or association that you can join whose members already have achieved what you are setting out to achieve. 2. Choose your friends carefully. Over the years, it will be okay for you to ‘lose’ some friends along the way. As you grow as a person, most of your friends will not grow in the same direction that you are growing in – most likely, these are the friends that you will no longer keep in touch with. 3. Surround yourself with people that have achieved what you are setting out to achieve as well as with people that have failed. Talk to them. Ask them questions. Learn from both groups and refine your plans and back-up strategies. 4. Start a collection of inspiring music, quotations, and readings. Every day – spend some time to listen and read these inspiring messages. 5. Write a list of people that inspire you. Try to set up a meeting with them – take them out for lunch or coffee and ask them to share with you their secrets of success. If this is not possible, read their biographies or find out more about them using the power of the internet! 6. Fill your mind with inspirational teachings. Read books; collect newspaper articles; subscribe to free on-line newsletters. There is a wealth of information around you!
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Expert insights 1. Are you surrounding yourself with like-minded people? 2. Are you regularly reviewing your friends and ‘shedding’ some along the way? 3. Do you belong to a club, group or society where you can meet and associate with like-minded individuals? 4. Do you have your own collection of inspiring readings, quotations and/or music that you read or listen to daily? 5. Do you have a mentor or ‘accountability coach’ that is guiding you towards the achievement of your goals?
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6. Standards “The important thing is not to stop questioning” Albert Einstein
Our schooling system has done an excellent job in teaching us to compare ourselves against the next best student. There are prizes issued out for, “The top student of the year,” or awarding the student with the highest mark in each subject. On leaving school, we become used to measuring our success in life against the person next to us. This is a flawed system! Truly enlightened people never seek to be like other people. They seek to be superior to their former selves. So, on leaving school – the standards against which you measure success should not be based on someone else’s standard, but on your own! Do not try to compete against other people. Compete against yourself. Regularly review your standards and then raise them! Every day, every week, every month, and every year, strive to increase the quality and standard of your work – or else – you will remain at your level and slow down your growth process, thereby losing momentum as well as denying yourself inspiration and fulfillment at a higher level.
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Personal Digression: Below are some questions that I would suggest you regularly ask yourself to assist you to raise your personal standards:
•
Why am I living like this?
•
Why am I working in this job?
•
Why am I working and living in this city?
•
Where in my life right now am I restricting myself? What can I do differently?
•
Where do I need changes? What change can I implement now?
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Why am I always broke? What can I do to start saving?
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Am I contributing to my society? If not, why not?
•
What can I do differently to look after my health?
•
Why am I not looking after my image? What can I do differently?
•
Why am I not exercising and keeping fit?
•
Why am I not finding the time to study further?
•
Why I am stuck in my own routines?
•
What can I change right now to increase my standards?
•
How can I spend more time with my family?
•
What can I do differently to have more life balance?
•
What trait or habit can I adopt, if practiced every day would change my life?
In summary, you need to push yourself to deliver the very best in everything that you do, because it has your name on it. Strive to increase your standards in all 7 areas of life: career; education; family & personal relationships; spirituality; health & fitness; society and wealth.
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Expert insights 1. Are you comparing yourself against your personal standards? 2. Are you regularly reviewing your standards in the 7 areas or life and increasing it? 3. Are you pushing yourself every day, week, month, and year to deliver a higher standard than you did before?
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7. Failure “Our greatest glory is not in never failing but in rising up every time we fail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Failure is part of life’s journey. In order to achieve success, we need to face failures. Here are some universal truths about failures: 1. If you are not experiencing failure on some level in your life, you are probably not trying! It is better to try and fail than to do nothing at all. 2. There is no such thing as a failed project – rather look at it as a project with unexpected results – learn from the experience! 3. Do not give up regardless of how many failures you experience! Remember that Edison did not fail – the light bulb just did not light up 10 000 times! Advice on dealing with failures: 1. Never declare to yourself and to the world that you are beaten! Stay in the game! You never know when the next chance or great opportunity may present itself to you! 2. If something unexpected happens and takes you by surprise, keep your cool. Say to yourself: ‘I should have known.’ Be flexible to adjust. 3. With all failures, conduct investigations to understand what went wrong and how to prevent it in future.
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Personal Digression: Some of my most memorable life lessons have resulted from my failures. In failing I have learnt: 1. That there is no shame in asking for help – humility has extended my network of support. 2. With all my failures I have been blessed to meet and work with diverse people that offered me advice, supported me through my challenges and guided me to success. 3. Just as I have failed, someone else has failed at the same thing too and found a solution – I can learn from them. 4. We are all human and capable of achieving anything that we set our minds to. A strong self-belief is an important element to overcoming failure. 5. In order to grow, we need a balance of support and challenge. This means that there will be people who will support us in times of our failures and be sympathetic to our situation; and there will equally be people who will challenge us to achieve – we need both types of people around us to move forward in life.
In order to conquer big aspirations in your life, you need to overcome any self-doubt that you may have. If you are uncertain how things are going to turn out, you are not alone. None of really know – this should not stop us from trying! So go ahead and make all
the
mistakes
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along
your
journey
©Dineshrie Pillay 2012
to
success!
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Expert insights 1. Make a list of all your ‘failures’ within a journal. Below each item, write down at least 5 benefits or life lessons that you have learnt from these failures. 2. Do you have any self-doubt about where you are in your life right now or with any goal that you are pursuing? 3. Do you share your ‘failures’ with people around you? Doing so shows a level of acceptance and greater level of appreciation for the experience. By opening up to others – people often share their personal experiences and advice with you. 4. Do you take the time to analyse your failures, speak to people and learn how to improve at your next attempt? 5. Do you surround yourself with a balance of people that both support and challenge you during times of failures?
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8. Persistence “Brick walls are there for a reason. It is not there to keep us out. They are there to remind us how badly we want something.” Randy Pausch If you want to be successful in business and in life – you cannot give up! It is a fact that the majority of the most successful business leaders in the world had experienced their greatest success just one step beyond the point at which defeat had almost overtaken them. In order to persevere with your goals, it also means that you need to build discipline. It is discipline that gets you up at 5am in the morning to go to the gym. It is discipline that gets you to constantly keep up to date with your research and knowledge. And it is discipline that gets you to investigate past failures, learn from them and try new things in the pursuit of achieving your big goals. Discipline is needed in order to persevere!
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Personal Digression: Looking back on my high school and varsity years, I had always been a diligent and hard-working student. I passed my courses with high marks without much difficulty. My biggest and most memorable failure came when I was attempting my accounting board examination for the first time. I failed – twice! Enter: my lesson in persistence and discipline. When I studied for my 3rd attempt I fondly recall: waking up at 3am in the morning to study before going to work; getting back from work and revising in the evenings; sacrificing outings with my family and friends; studying over long weekends and holiday seasons; attending extra tuition; and seeking help from other tutors. I passed on my 3rd attempt. When I applied for a role within a corporate company, the recruitment agent incorrectly noted on my portfolio to the client, that I had passed my board examination on my 2nd attempt. During the interview with the manager at the company, I started off by correcting the mistake and admitting that I passed this examination on my 3rd attempt. I was not sure how that piece of information might impact the interview, but it was important to me that I correct the error. To my surprise and delight, the response that I received was, “Thank you for letting us know and well done on your achievement. That shows that you have tremendous resilience and persistence to pass the examination on your 3rd attempt – that is just the type of people we are looking for!” I was hired for the position!
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Expert Insights: 1. Do you persevere with your goals in spite of any obstacles and difficulties that you may experience along the way? 2. Are you are resilient person? Do you bounce back quickly from any challenge and come out stronger for the experience? 3. Are you disciplined? 4. Do you have a set of tasks that you perform on a daily basis in the pursuit of your success?
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9. Quality Questions “Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions and as a result, they get better answers.” Anthony Robbins Do you remember the formula earlier for creating an experience? Here is a recap: first step involves your thought. What you think about, you speak about, and what you speak about, you take action on, and this is what you end up experiencing. Asking quality questions is a process of rephrasing what you want to achieve, in a way that seeks to open your mind to new possibilities. It is said that as human beings we only utilize about 10% of our brains total capacity – imagine if we can unleash the remaining 90% of capacity just by asking quality questions. Professional coaches have been using the technique of quality questions with their clients for years. The entire methodology of coaching is to pose a series of questions to the client in a way that the client comes up with the solution, rather than the coach telling them what to do. In order to utilize this technique, you also need to understand the power of open versus closed questions. Closed questions usually have a one or two word answer. •
Example: Question: Did you lock the door? Answer: Yes I did!
Open questions leaves more room for the person answering the question to explore options and alternatives, thereby using more of their brain capacity! •
Example: Question: What are the implications of leaving the
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Personal Digression: I have personally experienced the power of asking to myself and other people, open-ended, quality questions. Once you get used to rephrasing your thoughts and words into quality questions, the outcomes are: 1. Enhanced thinking process – you expand your mind to new options and alternatives that you would not have thought about! 2. Increased creativity and innovation – lateral thinking invites creative solutions to your problems! 3. Leadership skills – you learn to pose quality questions to people who usually approach you for solutions. Using this process, people around you are empowered to come up with their own action steps that they are more inspired to implement. Below are some examples of how to rephrase familiar questions into quality questions: Example 1: Old: I cannot afford a holiday to Singapore! New: How can I go for a holiday to Singapore and get paid for doing it? Example 2: Old: I have a few ingredients to cook – I need to go out and get some groceries! New: How can I use the existing ingredients that I have to create a new dish? Example 3: Old: I do not have time to wash my car – I have so much of work to do! New: How can I get my car washed and still be productive at the same time?
With the above examples, I am sure that the principle of using quality questions is now clear to you. If not, here is a popular quote from Sir Richard Branson who said, “You look at things and say why? I look at things and say, why not?” Let us not forget how many innovative and creative ventures that Richard Branson has been involved with. Such is the power of asking quality questions!
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Expert Insights 1. Do you take the time to rephrase your questions to yourself and others into quality questions? 2. Do you ask yourself quality questions every day? 3. Do you take your list of goals and ask quality questions on how to pursue or implement them? 4. Do you have a standard list of prepared, quality questions that you pose to your mentors and people within your association?
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10. Comfort Zones “Be not afraid of growing slowly, only of standing still.” Anon When you are focusing on your career or your business, it is easy to get into a rut and not allow yourself to try new things. After some time passes, life takes over, and you get so used to routine that you become scared to try new things. Do not let this happen to you! Be aware of when this occurs and be willing to step outside of your comfort zone and do things that you have never done before. This will provide you with a new perspective on your life. Be aware of The Peter Principle: as you master one level of responsibility, you become promoted to another. Eventually through promotions, you reach a level of incompetence or a level that is beyond your ability. At that level, you can temporarily, or even permanently plateau because you won’t allow yourself to rise beyond your own level of internal order. Going beyond that plateau requires you to increase your internal order: to push yourself beyond your existing comfort levels; master new skills, and levels of leadership. In essence, you have to constantly challenge yourself to achieve greater and greater accomplishments. To do this, you have to leave your existing comfort zone.
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Personal Digression: Another way of visualizing your ‘level of comfort,’ is to plot your progress for a particular goal on an “S-Curve.” An “S-Curve” plots the relationship of one variable against another. So as an example, you could have ‘Time’ on the x-axis and ‘Stage of Completion’ on the yaxis. As long as you are on the steeper part of the ‘S-Curve’ it implies that you are learning and growing. At this stage you are trying out new things and gaining from the process. As long as you on the steep climb, you are being challenged; you still have not mastered what you are doing. The moment you start moving to the top of the ‘S-Curve’, this implies that you are coming to the end of the cycle of learning. If you do not challenge yourself further at this stage, by starting a new ‘S-Curve,’ you will start ‘falling down’ the curve and get caught in the comfort zone that you have now set up for yourself. As long as you are green, you are growing. The moment you are ripe, you start rotting. ‘Rotting’ starts at the top of an ‘S-curve.’ ‘S-Curves’ are a good visual reminder as to where you are on your level of ‘comfort.’ This allows you to plan ahead to achieve bigger goals so that you can remain green and growing.
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In summary, challenge yourself! Be an explorer and try new things. An explorer believes that there are new worlds, options, products, services, and ideas waiting to be discovered. Look for something that stimulates you to stretch yourself beyond your normal limits. Then you must work on improving your skills every day and never quit! Only a few people keep on improving their skills for years and decades. These are the people that we call great! Expert Insights 1. Are you currently caught up in your own ‘comfort zone’? What are you doing about it? 2. Are you constantly trying to challenge yourself to understand something? 3. Are you continuously learning and developing your skills? 4. Do you consider yourself to be an explorer – always questioning and trying to figure things out? 5. What are you currently working on that is stretching your abilities
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to
its
capacity?
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Resources that you may want to explore: Video: Image Make Over Tips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im1IJL3U7u8 Video: Public Speaking Tips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYVl7P3W1Yw Career Management & Employability Blog: http://dineshriepillay.blogspot.com/ Dineshrie Pillay website: http://www.dineshriepillay.com Workplace Readiness Programmes: http://www.neospectives.com
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