Focus on Adoption Spring 2018 preview

Volume 26 Spring 2018

adoption FOCUS ON

The Resource for Canada’s Adoption Community

Preparing to adopt: When and how to share your plans Financing your family

What motherhood means to me

Money tips for parents-to-be

A heartfelt tribute from Janet Weinreich-Keall

Somatic therapy and adoption

Canadians and adoption

Is this new approach the "holy grail" for trauma healing?

A new study reveals what we really think

Enter our photo contest!

Faces of Family sponsored by

Prizes

How to enter

Grand prize (draw)

Go online to submit up to ten photos:

Fujifilm Instax Minion Mini 8” instant film camera

All contest entrants are automatically included in a draw for this prize!

Snap fun photos like a Despicable Me agent with this Polaroid-style instant camera! It looks just like an adorable minion from the popular kids' movie, but its top-notch features and performance will make grown-ups smile too.

First place (judged category) Ricoh WG-50 all-weather adventure camera

This amazing little camera is waterproof, shock-proof, and freeze-proof­­— perfect for active families! It boasts an outdoor-friendly monitor, exceptional image quality, and Full HD movie recording capability, plus creative shooting functions to capture your unique world from a totally different point of view.

Second place (judged category)

Monster Vision 1080p+ action sports camera

This camera lets you capture and relive all of your greatest adventures and most exciting experiences! It takes 1080p video at 60 frames per second while simultaneously taking photos up to 12MP. Includes mounts, accessories, and 16GB memory card.

www.bcadoption.com/photocontest.

Deadline: May 15, 2018 What are we looking for?

• High quality, high resolution photos that you own the rights to (we cannot accept entries from professional photoshoots, for example) • A connection to foster care, permanent guardianship, kinship care, custom adoption, or other forms of permanency.

Winning photos and other selected entries will appear in Focus on Adoption magazine and other AFABC print, digital, and social media channels. By entering the contest, you give permission to AFABC to use your photos in any of our materials, including print and social media.

Note: AFABC employees and their family members are not eligible to enter.

Contents Inside this issue: News and information 2 Editor’s letter 3 News & notes

In focus 5 Financing your family: practical tips for parents-to-be 7 Preparing to adopt: sharing the news 8 Pre-adoption announcements: celebrate your hope 10 Adopted voice: A daughter's tribute on

11 12 15 17 19 21

Mother's Day Kids' corner!

All about AgedOut.com Somatic therapy: a new approach for adoption trauma The journey of a lifetime: why adoptive families need support through the years Canadians and adoption: new study reveals what we really think How to apply for a BCeID: Your ticket to the Adopt BC Kids process

All about AgedOut.com, page 12

Books & media On our cover The Rowan family's smiles are as bright as spring sunshine.

22 Review: Raven's Feast 23 Jen's Picks and more recommendations How to apply for a BCeID, page 21

Book review: Raven's Feast, page 23

Financing your family

practical tips for parents-to-be

BY JOHN HAKKARAINEN Tax time is upon us again! John Hakkarainen, an adoptive father and professional money expert, shares the inside scoop on how to make your money work for you.

are an employee and you are contributing to an RRSP or Pension Plan, you can claim those contributions against your income to help qualify for available programs. Eligibility is typically assessed either annually or every other year.

A stress-free financial plan for adoptive families

Adoption expenses and your taxes

When people come into my office and see my family photos they’re often interested to know what our story is and how we became a family.

Throughout my career as a financial planner, and particularly since my journey to becoming an adoptive father myself, I’ve been blessed to help many families with children who came to them through the adoption process. This includes families with children with disabilities and other unique challenges. These experiences have given me a compassionate and understanding perspective on the financial challenges many adoptive families face.

The adoption process involves a significant amount of planning. Your future tax bills and the level of government benefits you may be eligible to receive are determined by this planning. Here are some things to consider as you make your adoption plans. Be sure to consult a qualified CPA or CFP to assist you with these items.

Parental leave and your income When you start to explore the adoption process it’s important to consider how you want your year of transition (after placement of your child or children) to look. Your income sources are an important part of this. If you are an employee, you are covered under Employment Insurance. This may not be enough, though. You will want to ensure that you have adequate income to avoid unnecessary financial stress.

Line 313 of your income tax return (Adoption Expenses): The Government recognizes that families incur significant expenses during the adoption process and has made provisions for families to claim a tax credit of up to $15,670 (tax year 2017) per child for incurred expenses.

These expenses may include adoption agency fees, immigration fees, document translation fees, court and legal expenses, mandatory fees paid to a foreign institution, and reasonable travel and living expenses for the child and adoptive parents. It’s extremely important to note that this credit cannot be claimed until your adoption process has been formally completed. In my personal situation, it took 13 months after our children came home before the adoption process was complete.

Let’s look at an example. In 2016, spouses Jim and Kelly went to the USA where they had been matched with 3-year-old Isabel and 6-year-old Sam. The couple travelled to the USA several times and the kids came home in August of 2016. In June of 2017, their adoption was completed.

They calculated that they spent $51,750 on the adoption process. They will be able to claim $31,340 ($15,670 per child maximum) as a tax credit to reduce their 2017 tax bill, which can be split between them. Jim will claim $27,000 of the tax credit for 2017 and Kelly will claim $4,340.

Between their BC and federal taxes, they will reduce their combined tax bill for 2017 by $6,299.34.

Benefit eligibility

"If you plan to claim this tax credit, ensure that you keep clear records that account for all of your expenses. These receipts and records do not need to be sent in, but you should keep them for 7-8 years so that they’re available if the CRA requests them at any point.

Line 236 of your income tax return (Net Income): Eligibility for many benefits is based off line 236. This line of your tax return represents the income that you are taxed on. Failure to complete your taxes on time may delay your benefits or affect your ability to qualify for them. If you are a small business owner or proprietor, business deductions are taken off before line 236 which may increase your benefit eligibility. If you

There are some expenses this tax credit will not support, such as a single adoptive parent helping in a future grandparent or other family member move closer to them to be a source of support. The credit also does not include any expenses that you may incur in your personal dwelling if you need to be away from home as part of the adoption process.

Continued on page 6

VOLUME 26 SPRING 2018 5

Financing your family, cont'd

Child and family benefits

Savings plans

The Canada Child Benefit (CCB) and British Columbia Early Childhood Tax Benefit are programs that provide a tax free monthly benefits to families with children under the age of 18. The program support level is reduced as your income increases and is based on your income stated on line 236. In the case of Jim and Kelly, their current net income is $90,000 per year combined. The children are now 4 and 7. This makes them eligible for a monthly benefit of $525.83

Registered Disability Savings Plans (RDSPs) become available for families with children who are eligible for the DTC. For those families who have an income of less than $91,831 (line 236), the benefits of these programs are significant. By depositing $1500 into this investment plan yearly, the government will contribute a grant of $3500 each year. If your income is greater than $91,831, you are eligible for a $1000 grant if you set aside $1000.

Post Adoption Assistance

A Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP) can also be an effective tool to qualify for benefits. Simply put, RRSPs reduce what you show on line 236 (your net income). This has a ripple effect on your eligibility for many other programs. For example, if a child qualifies for the DTC and the adoptive family’s annual family income is $95,000, the parents should deposit a minimum of $3169 into their RRSPs to reduce their family income to under $91,831. This will ensure that the child is eligible for the full $3,500 grant in their RDSP. In addition to the increased grant, the parents will save $893 in tax.

Post Adoption Assistance (PAA) is a program made available to families who adopt from MCFD. Adoptive parents can apply for financial support through their Adoption Social Worker, who would identify that the family may need funding for their child or family’s special needs. As a rule, families whose net income is less than $80,000 per year will be eligible for the program at 100%. If the family income is higher than this the benefit is reduced. The assistance can be in the form of specialized payments for health care costs, counselling, dental care, or respite. In some cases, such as families who adopt sibling groups or Indigenous families who adopt Indigenous children, tax-free monthly maintenance payments are also available.

Disability tax credits and benefits Adoptive parents who care for children with conditions such as autism, Asperger’s syndrome, celiac disease, ADHD, Crohns disease, Down syndrome, FASD, or development delays may qualify for the disability tax credit (DTC) and the Canada child disability benefit. To apply for the DTC, parents must submit a form that is completed with the child's doctor.

If approved for the DTC, you can claim up to $12,506 as a tax credit, amounting to tax savings of up to $2,513. You may also be approved for a child disability benefit after the completion of the DTC. This is a monthly tax-free benefit which is typically available if you meet the above criteria and are a recipient of the CCB.

You can be a financially healthy family!

As adoptive parents, we care a lot for our children and are willing to make many sacrifices to ensure their well-being is our top priority.

By taking care of your financial health, you show your children the importance of making sound financial decisions. Children of parents who practice financial responsibility tend to become more financially secure themselves. In all of your adoption planning, please don’t forget to plan for your own future, including your retirement. Each aspect of your financial plan should align with your goals to create a prosperous future for both you and your children. ●

John Hakkarainen is a proud father of three children. He is the Managing Partner of JFH Insurance & Investment Services Inc and a Certified Financial Planner, and works in partnership with Sun Life Financial. In his personal time, he enjoys spending time outside, coaching soccer, and cooking.

spring highlights On-demand webinars

New!

Whether you live in a big city, the suburbs, or

Beyond the attitude: Adopting Teens and Tweens

in a rural area, our on-demand webinars are accessible anywhere! You can tune in at a time that works for you, from the comfort of your own home. We offer a range of informative and educational webinars on topics that are relevant to all stages of your adoption journey.

DNA Testing 101 Social Media & Adoption Transitioning Children and Youth into Adoption

Coming soon!

Attachment: An Introduction

For a complete list of webinars and to view, visit www.bcadoption.com/demand-webinars.

6 FOCUS ON ADOPTION

Preparing to adopt: sharing the news

BY ANDREA DREIDGER You’ve decided to adopt, and you’re ready to discuss it with the significant people in your life. Like any big life news, it can be both exciting and scary to talk about it.

adoptive families in BC. AFABC Adoption Key Workers and Adoption Counsellors are here to help, or reach out to other adoptive families in your area for peer support and advice.

Prepare yourself for the inevitable barrage of questions such as “Why would you adopt?” or “Aren’t there more health and behavioral problems with adoptive kids?”

Sharing the news with your extended family and friends

You’ll probably hear a lot of adoption myths and some horror stories as well as personal opinions. You might also get a negative reaction.

Sharing your adoption process with family and friends is an exciting time.

You want those closest to you to support you and share in your excitement.

Educate yourself about adoption, ask adoption professionals lots of questions, and start seeking out supports in the adoption community.

The more you know about adoption, the better prepared you’ll be to answer other people’s questions. You’ll also feel more confident about your decision.

Discussing adoption with your partner If you have a partner or spouse, make sure you have in-depth discussions about adoption. Both partners need to be ready to adopt before you move forward in the adoption process. This is especially important if infertility is the reason for choosing adoption.

Sometimes partners start the process with different expectations, parenting styles, strengths, and challenges. You need to come to an understanding with your partner about the type of child you want to parent, especially regarding placement needs and special needs. You might also find that this will change as you participate in the Adoption Education Program (AEP) and build your adoption knowledge.

Discussing adoption with your children If you already have children at home, it’s important to include them in the adoption discussion.

Be open and honest with them, and share the information in an appropriate way for their age and development. Most children are thrilled about adopting!

Sometimes current children have a difficult time once an adopted child comes to live with the family. Your adopted child may need more of your attention during the transition phase, or your other children may not understand their new sibling’s needs or challenges, which can make things a bit hard on all your kids. There are many support options for

The right time to tell family and friends is a personal choice.

While most of your family and friends will be happy, be prepared for reactions you haven't anticipated. Your extended family might feel a sense of loss for grandchildren. Or they might have outdated perspectives on adoption.

It’s important to educate them on adoption and include them in the process. Not only will they get a better understanding of adoption, but they might also become more supportive of the process and the challenges that might lie ahead.

Sharing the news at work When you tell your employer and colleagues and how much you share with them depends on your relationships at work and your work environment.

At some point, you’ll need to tell your employer that you’re adopting so they can prepare for your parental leave. There is no minimum number of weeks’ notice that you’re required to give to your employer before you go on leave, but it’s important to give as much notice as possible.

Sometimes it’s not possible to know when a placement will happen, though. Even if it’s very short notice, you’re still entitled to take your leave.

You don’t have to tell your employer when you plan to return to work.

They should assume you’ll take all the leave you’re entitled to. It’s always good to say you’re planning to come back so that you can keep your options open. Later, if you decide not to return, you can resign from your job in the normal way. ● Flip to page 8 for creative ways to share your adoption plans!

VOLUME 26 SPRING 2018 7

Here’s what you’ll nd on

AgedOut.com is for young adults who were in government care in BC. It's an up-to-date warehouse of information on resources and services available to young adults and a learning tool to help people feel empowered as they leave care.

12 FOCUS ON ADOPTION

VOLUME 26 SPRING 2018 13

Canadians and adoption:

New study reveals what we really think

BY HANNAH GANONG In 2017, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption released a ground-breaking new study of Canadian attitudes and behaviours towards adoption and foster care. The comprehensive document is packed with research and insights, but since it’s also almost 80 pages long, we’ve put together this brief overview of its key findings.

Canada loves adoption Awareness of adoption is on the rise in Canada. That's the key takeaway from the 2017 Canadian Adoption Attitudes Survey, released in October by the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption (DTFA). More and more Canadians are getting serious about adopting through foster care, and are coming to understand that every child is adoptable and needs a family.

The study's researchers found that around half of Canadian adults know someone who was adopted through the foster care system, and that adults who have ties to adoption—whether personally or through friends or family—tend to be favourably disposed towards all types of adoption.

More interest in foster care adoption This positive attitude is reflected in the study’s finding that nearly a quarter of Canadians are considering adopting a child—a significant increase from 2012.

The study also found an increase in Canadians’ positive opinion of adoption from foster care. More than seven in ten Canadians who are considering adopting from foster care said that they’re motivated by the desire to help a child in need. Over half say it’s due to their understanding and awareness of the need for adoption from foster care.

learn more...

Read the study Read the complete 2017 Canadian Adoption Attitudes study at www.davethomasfoundation.org/wp-content/ uploads/2017/06/2017-Canadian-Adoption-AttitudesWEB.pdf.

Online adoption support and education AFABC’s Adoption Education Program-Online (AEP-O) is an extremely popular choice for prospective adoptive parents.

Webinars and online courses cover everything from general introductory information on adoption to specialized education on transracial parenting, adopting teens and tweens, navigating openness through social media, and prenatal drug and alcohol exposure. To access more of this information, visit our website at bcadoption.com.

Online adoption support and education Want to do your part to spread information and awareness of the need for adoptive families for Canadian kids? DTFA has tons of great, shareable resources on their website. Find them at www.davethomasfoundation.org/learn/get-informed, and share them with your networks!

Nearly three in ten Canadians are considering becoming foster parents in order to help a child in need, and many more are becoming aware of the need for foster parents in their community. This is encouraging news for the many foster children in our country who are waiting for permanency.

Adults who are considering adoption tend to be younger and more diverse than adoptive parents of the past, and they tend to already have children. Most potential adoptive parents still want to adopt an infant or a younger child; however, the majority have no preference about the child's gender or race.

Continued on page 20 VOLUME 26 SPRING 2018 19

Canadians and adoption, cont'd

Barriers to adoption Financial concerns continue to be the major barrier to foster care adoption. Canadians mistakenly believe that foster care adoption is expensive and/or difficult, and these perceptions have dramatically increased since the 2012 study. However, those surveyed also indicated that if financial supports were available, they would be more likely to pursue adoption.

In fact, there are already many financial supports available to parents who adopt from foster care. It’s clear that there is a continued need for increased public awareness and education regarding these sources of support.

Many Canadians also believe that children in foster care suffer from abuse, abandonment, or neglect before and after entering care, and that those experiences negatively impact their adoptability.

The Internet is #1 for adoption information The study found that more and more adults are going online for adoption information and services. Here in BC, the provincially mandated adoption education program for prospective adoptive parents is delivered online. A wide variety of e-courses, webinars, videos, articles, and support services are also available through AFABC’s website

20 FOCUS ON ADOPTION

for anyone seeking more information about adoption. AFABC also runs multiple Facebook support groups that provide supportive online communities for adoptive and pre-adoptive parents.

Since familiarity with foster care adoption is still low among Canadians— as low it was in 2012—there is still plenty of opportunity to use the Internet to promote adoption awareness.

Keep advocating for kids Overall, this study shows that Canadians are becoming more educated about and interested in adoption. There’s still work to be done to increase awareness and understanding of the large number of Canadian foster children waiting for forever homes. However, it’s encouraging to know that more Canadians are considering the option of building their families through adoption. Hopefully these positive trajectories will continue, and we’ll see these numbers increase yet again in the next survey. Want to help? Visit www.bcadoption.com/take-action for easy ways you can get involved. ●

Hannah Ganong is the Adoption Key Worker for South Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands from Chemainus south. Hannah is a new mom and has a lifelong connection to adoption. Contact Hannah at hganong@bcadoption.com or 250-886-4750.

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Sign up today: www.bcadoption.com/membership PM# 41718015 Return undeliverable Canadian addresses to: Adoptive Families Association of BC 200 - 7342 Winston St, Burnaby, BC, V5A 2H1, Canada