Adoption in action! Winter 2016
Making the assist We are thrilled to announce that the Steve Nash Foundation and Steve Nash Fitness World and Sports Clubs have selected us as their charity of choice, highlighting their commitment to assisting underserved children and the adoption community.
Better together
Families having a blast at Timberline Camp. Photo by Dan Mansell
Each year our Adoption Support Coordinators host province-wide events that allow adoptive families to connect in supported social settings.
“What a great way to empower the kids to connect and to spend a weekend. My kids absolutely love it! This is our second year and we’ll be back!” –2015 attendee
Timberline Camp is a unique annual event that offers a safe haven for families to connect and talk openly about the struggles and successes adoptive families face. Last year over 95 members of the adoption community celebrated a weekend where adoption is the norm and not the exception.
“Over the years I’ve made great connections with other parents I never would have made otherwise.” –2015 attendee
Regional events like Timberline create a fun space where children in the adoption community can strengthen cultural connections, build social skills, and see that they are not alone in their adoption experience.
Over the next two years, the foundation will hold fundraising initiatives and special events at their 20 clubs as well as across local communities. They will raise awareness and funds for programs that help ensure a better life for kids who need permanent families. “I was surprised to learn that in BC, over 700 kids age out of the foster care system each year without any support,” says Steve Nash Fitness Clubs COO Chris Smith. “For many, it is a transition into homelessness. We are committed to helping change that by raising awareness of the struggles these young people face, and to use our resources as a leading health and fitness organization to assist them.”
Individual and corporate donations help make Timberline Camp affordable for adoptive families. Call 604-320-7330 ext. 100 to make your donation today.
Family Ties Last year we honored QMFM radio host Drew Savage with our Adoption Champion Award. He’s been helping us raise awareness for adoption, waiting kids, and adoptive families for years. Here’s why he does it.
I’ve always known that I was adopted. In fact, after my brother was adopted, I thought that’s how all babies came to be. You get in the car with your parents and go pick up the new baby. It was always so normal to me. It’s never felt awkward or uncomfortable to explain my adoption. It’s just who I am, and I’ve always been proud to share it. AFABC is an organization I feel especially close to because I know what being adopted into a loving and supportive home can do for a child. I also want to help spread the word that there are children in this province that need a home right now. That’s why I’m thrilled to support AFABC’s important work. Bursary recipient Dominik, emcee Drew Savage, and AFABC Executive Director Karen Madeiros at the 2014 Family Ties gala. Photo by Lisa Hartley
Making a difference Peggy Howard, a Victoria grandmother, volunteer, and philanthropist, was inspired into action in 2012 after watching Global TV’s four-part series on teen adoption. As an adoptee with a background in postsecondary studies, she knew first-hand about the negative outcomes that await a majority of kids who leave care without support or education. Ms. Howard reached out to us to see how she could help. “I just couldn’t imagine the thought of these vulnerable teens not having family support. I am too old to adopt but I felt that there must be something I could do to address the barriers they face,” says Howard. After 18 months of development, the Howard Legacy Youth Fund was awarded to its first two recipients in November 2014.The support helped Dominik, 22, from Vancouver, pursue BCIT’s mechatronics and robotics program. 19-year-old Lindsay from Nanaimo is taking Vancouver Island University’s hairdressing program.
? 40% of kids in care waiting to be adopted are between the ages of 12 and 18.
Peggy Howard
“I hope that this award will provide not just financial support, but also some motivation for these youth, something that says, ‘Yes, you can go to college or university!’ I hope it gives them inspiration and a strong belief in their own potential.” Peggy Howard is a shining example of how one individual’s ambition can inspire change. Through her generosity and drive, we have been able to steadily develop and expand resources for youth in our community.
We now support improved access to post-secondary education for BC youth through two annual bursary funds: The AFABC Youth Bursary Established in 2014 with funding from AFABC. For youth who have joined their families by legal adoption. The Howard Legacy Youth Fund Established in 2013, with donations from Peggy Howard. For current or former youth in care.
To learn more about how you can support youth through our bursary programs, visit www.bcadoption.com/bursary.
Youth voices Our Speak-Out Youth Group is an empowering youth-led program that serves youth in care, former youth in care, and adoptees aged 13-24 from BC’s Vancouver Coastal and Fraser regions. This program gives a powerful voice to youth who have experienced growing up in the foster care system. It also provides an opportunity for youth to connect, advocate for permanence, and develop transferable life skills by working with career professionals, child and youth care representatives, and clinical counsellors.
Ashley
KT
“This year with Speak-Out Youth we’ve done a tremendous amount of work on the newsletter. I have been able to help out by creating content, helping pick out the layout and helping make the silhouette images for our group. I was taught how to use Photoshop, and some InDesign skills. I’ve also helped the youth coordinator with several presentations for MCFD, reaching out to social workers about our group.
“Over the past year with the Speak-Out Youth Group I’ve been more hands on with content development for both the website and they newsletter, where I learned how to use Photoshop and InDesign.
The Speak-Out Youth Group really means a lot to me. I feel very safe. I feel like I belong. And it feels very nice to be able to have my own voice heard. I’m allowed to have an opinion and my opinion is respected and heard. The Speak-Out Youth Group is my life, my family. It is my favourite place to go sometimes. The staff are amazing and wonderful. I could stay forever.”
I also participated in presentations to several different MCFD offices and it’s helped me to be more open and to overcome some of my fear of public speaking. I also participated in a day long leadership retreat, which made me realize that there are different styles of leadership. Overall I have learned a lot this year and I am very proud of AFABC, the Speak-Out Youth Group and myself for all the accomplishments this year. Thank you.”
Thank you The Speak-Out Youth group would not be possible without the generous support of our amazing donors. The Boag Foundation, Vancouver Foundation, and Telus Vancouver Community Board have offered continuous support that enables our youth group to meet, build skills, and advocate for BC youth.
boag foundation
Wendy’s Wonderful Kids is a leading family- and community-centred program that has been recognized for its ability to develop a wide community of supports and permanent connections for waiting children. Over the past 11 years the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption has supported our recruitment strategies, allowing us to focus exclusively on moving BC’s longest waiting children from foster care into adoptive homes. Last year, the support of the Dave Thomas Foundation enabled our workers to find permanent family connections for over 50 children throughout the province.
Community partners like Accent Inns help bring families together. Accent Inns provides us with room vouchers that are primarily used to support parents who need to travel during the various stages of a child’s adoption placement. “You and your community partner, Accent Inns, have truly made a difference in the life of a little boy who has been in care since birth, and his new mom, a single working mother of two. It made a huge difference in pre-placement visitation and we sincerely thank you!” – an adoptive mom
All children deserve a loving and permanent place to call home. Your donation makes a difference. Call 604-320-7330 ext. 123 to learn how.
Never too old for a family We interviewed Jesse Downing, a well-known advocate for youth, during the development of our new online Adopting Teens and Tweens course. We believe youth perspectives such as Jesse’s are a vital part of preparing people to welcome older children into their lives. Here, Jesse shares some of his insights about the enormous difference being adopted as a teenager made for him.
What was it like to be adopted as a teen?
of grief work right now. That’s the number one way I’m healing. As a kid I didn’t get love and I didn’t get physical touch. When I first moved in [with my new family], my “love tank” was about 1/4 full. Now it’s about 3/4 full. That took a lot of work.
As a teenager you want to find out who you are, where you’re going, and what you’re going to do with your life. When I was in foster care I sabotaged my relationships quite often. My caregivers didn’t respond well and gave up on me over and over. I was in over 30 group homes as a kid. I felt disposable, neglected, and unloved.
I have lots of supports and lots of people who are on my side now. I have a mom and a dad, a 9-year-old brother, an 18-yearold brother, and a soon-to-be 21-year-old brother. I really feel loved and special now.
After a while that’s what you expect from people. It damages self-worth and selfesteem. You give up and decide everyone is going to hurt you and leave you, so you might as well just wreck your relationships and move on. You put walls up because you’re scared to get close to people.
I wouldn’t have had to live and learn everything the hard way. I think if I had received a lot of love, my walls wouldn’t be so high. I’d be a happier individual.
So when you don’t know what love is, but then you find a family and get adopted, quite often you will put walls up. That’s how you protect yourself. That’s how you survive. It was definitely difficult, but I’ve been able to move past that stuff now. I’m doing a lot
How do you think your life might have been different if you had been adopted earlier?
It really comes down to the hard wiring of the brain. I’m hardwired for walls, and for anger. When you are younger it’s easier to redirect brain development in a positive way. That’s really hard to undo once you’re a teen. What can parents do if a teen lashes out? Don’t give up. If you have a kid, it’s a lifetime commitment. It’s not right to say, “Welcome to my home, but you’re acting up and you
Education matters The goal of our education programming is to offer comprehensive adoption education, information, and practical strategies to help all caregivers understand and support their children’s unique needs. New courses like our Teens and Tweens Online Adoption Education Program (AEP) are designed in direct response to an expressed community need, and reflect emerging trends and concerns identified by front line workers and community partners.
Learn more about our education programs at www.bcadoption.com/education
need to go now.” All kids want is love and stability. Why I wasn’t given that as a kid, I don’t know. Have you changed since your adoption? I’ve changed a lot. I don’t smoke or drink anymore. I’ve seen really bad parts of life and I’ve seen the good things in life. I’m doing a lot of grief work now. That’s the number one way I’m healing. I want to live the life that no one expected me to live. Was it hard for you to learn to trust? Yes, it was hard for me to learn to trust. It was hard to believe that my parents were going to be there no matter what. Quite often I thought, you know, it would be a lot easier for me to just move back out and live by myself. But I believe there is a necessary healing that I need to go through if I want to have a wife and make my own family one day. I don’t want to be haunted by the past 18 years of my life. How does an adoptive home feel different from a foster home? In a foster home you know why you are there; you know that they get paid to take care of you. In my adoptive home, my parents don’t get paid to take care of me. They do it because they love me. They do it because I’m their kid. An adoptive home is a home for life. I believe you don’t have to share blood to be a family. It’s unconditional love that makes people family. It’s forgiveness and grace and love when people mess up and slip. Not too many [youth in foster care] end up with families like I did. That’s just the truth. I think every teenager deserves that.
Each year over 650 youth age out of BC’s foster care system at the age of 19. It’s never too late for a family. Donate today to help youth stay connected.
The best possible start Front-line workers have witnessed an increase in the number of families struggling with complex challenges related to bringing children home through both provincial and international adoption programs. In direct response to our community’s needs, we developed the Parent Adoption Support Services (PASS) Program, an intensive early intervention service focusing on the transition and early stages of adoption placements.
Over the past 11 years, the Victoria Foundation has generously given valuable support that provides countless opportunities for adoptive families and children to connect in fun, safe, and supported environments. Their gift funds family events, support groups educational sessions, cultural camps, youth initiatives, respite retreats for caregivers, cultural enrichment projects, and other AFABC initiatives that celebrate and strengthen the adoption community, build trust, and reduce isolation for families and children with diverse needs. Our work in would not be possible without supporters like the Victoria Foundation and Lex Reynolds Adoption and Permanency Trust Fund.
Carrie: “I was going through a very difficult time at the beginning of my adoption. I was breaking down and was desperate for support. I was isolated and emotionally exhausted. The support given by my PASS worker gotme through the really rough periods. I believe that all adoptive families should have this program in place prior to the child coming home.” Rebecca: “The program provided a supportive outlet for our concerns and help with our concerns. The strategies and advice we received could be used immediately, and we always felt that our PASS facilitator had our children’s and our own best interests at heart. PASS gave us knowledge that helped us to be more effective parents. The learning we gained has given us perspective and benefited our family in many ways, such as understanding development, stress and trauma, the impact of early life experiences, and how to support our children through behaviours.”
Learn more about our support programs at www.bcadoption.com/support
Social Venture Partners Vancouver has made a multi-year commitment to improving outcomes for vulnerable children and youth in BC’s foster care community. Significant investments of time and financial resources have been generously donated to support the growth of our online Adoption Education Program (AEP-O). This capacity-building support has expanded the reach of vital family services that help to prevent the negative outcomes associated with youth aging out of government care.
Our adoption education program serves over 600 participants each year. You can help provide vital training and support to the adoption community.
Reaching our goals together The generosity of our community partners plays a key role in our success. This support often offers distinct opportunities that directly benefit the families, children, and youth we serve. Last year SVP Vancouver, the SpencerCreo Foundation and the Vancouver Whitecaps FC provided members of our Speak-Out Youth Group with the unique opportunity to experience a thrilling win in the comfort of a private suite. “The best part was watching the game in luxury suite. We were able to enjoy and cheer on Vancouver with our friends.” “The view, the company, the energy and enthusiasm was awesome. Having fun as a group was great, also the fact that Vancouver won!” For some youth, this opportunity represented a once in a lifetime experience that we are sure they’ll talk about for months to come. We’re extremely grateful to our community partners for helping our youth build fun memories through one of the best sporting experiences Vancouver has to offer.
Christian Dean and Kekutah Manneh cheer for adoption with AFABC families.
Kicking it for adoption For over 20 years, November has been recognized as National Adoption Awareness Month. Each year provinces host activities and celebrations that promote positive perceptions, draw attention to important adoption related issues, and celebrate families formed by adoption.
Players and kids alike were full of laughter and smiles as they played together while highlighting the needs of waiting children in British Columbia. The energy of the day was extremely high as children met their idols and gave them a run for their money on the open field.
Here in BC, November represents an important time for adoptees, adoptive parents, advocates, and professionals to celebrate adoption and remind others that over 1,000 children in this province are still waiting for a permanent, loving family to call their own.
Props for the video were provided by Wendy Williams Watt through her Vancouver-based company, BigLoveBall. BigLoveBall has become a symbol of inclusion, play and open-heartedness, making it a perfect fit for the day.
Last year the Vancouver Whitecaps Football Club joined us to create a public service announcement that raised awareness of the urgent needs of children and youth in foster care. The video features children from the adoption community as well as Vancouver Whitecaps players Kekuta Manneh and Christian Dean. Both Manneh and Dean are adoptees and quickly agreed to participate in supporting the community. Speak-Out Youth Group members at the Whitecaps game with Tanya Oliva, past SVP Vancouver President
Support from our community partners allows us to deliver over 35 family events and facilitate groups that support over 500 participants each year.
Your donations, however big or small, make a difference! www.bcadoption.com/donate S PI R I T PA RTN ER S ($100-$ 19 9) Arbonne International Barbara Duggan BC Lions Football Club Brian Cady Bruce Frankard Bryn Mackworth Capilano Suspension Bridge Ceroc Canada Cindy Littmann Corporate Recruiters Costco Wholesale Canada Ltd. Donald Mark Gina Best Heidi Arias Heritage Shade & Shutter Inc. Jane Wagner Julie Tessema Kids Market Larry Achtemichuk Linda Watts Maplewood Farm Nellie Devitt Norma Senn Pacific Breeze Winery Robin Sauve Sandman Hotel - Victoria Scandinave Spa Whistler Sink the Ink Tattoo Company United Way of Calgary and Area Vancity Community Foundation
CO M M U N IT Y PA RT N E RS ($200-$499) Anna and Carlos Armas Artsclub Theatre Company Broadway Camera Chateau Victoria Hotel and Suites Chloe Good Dave Teixeira Dermalogica Drew Savage Electronic Arts Gaylean Sutcliffe The Georgian Court Hotel
Harold Schellekens Hollyburn Family Services Integris Credit Union Jen Hillman John O’Meara Katherine Snelling L.A. Limousines & Transportation Services Leah Campo Maddy Devitt Mandy Johnson Mark Bailey Meghan Doidge Men in Kilts Mercedes Benz Vancouver Nelson & District Credit Union Pacific Opera Victoria RBC Foundation Reichert and Associates Ron Mackenzie Sarah Reid Simmons Counselling Services Stephen Reichert Steve, Jodi, and Gema Bocska Teck Times Square Suites Hotel Tranquility Bay Waterfront Inn Trina Rowles Vancouver Chamber Choir Vancouver Whitecaps FC Violet-Rose Pharoah West 1st Chiropractic Wellness Centre Williams Lake and District Credit Union Yvonne Devitt
Cooperative Association Peggy Ann Howard Provincial Employees Community Services Fund Sarah Phillips Schmidt & Funk Financial Sonja Weissenbacher Spencer Creo Foundation Susan Polano Treena and Kevin Innes
FRIE ND S HIP PARTNERS ($5,000-$9,999) Al Roadburg Foundation MediaCore Technologies Inc Pug Pharm Productions Taraxca Sterling Silver
FAM ILY PART NERS ($10,000-$24,999) Boag Foundation Chris Spencer Foundation John Hardie Mitchell Family Foundation The Steve Nash Foundation TELUS Vancouver Community Board Vancouver Foundation Victoria Foundation
L EG AC Y PART NERS ($25,000 an d u p)
NEIG H BORHOOD PART NERS ( $ 50 0- $4 ,9 99) Accent Inns - Victoria Bestway Driver Training Coquitlam Centre David Egan Ed Lyszkiewicz Edward Lyszkiewicz Professional Law Corporation Goldcorp Inc. Hamber Foundation Lohn Foundation Karen Madeiros Mount Pleasant War Memorial Community
Fernwood Foundation
Find out more about how Gifts in Kind can benefit families, children and youth in your community. Call 604-320-7330 to donate now.
Join the Family Circle Regular monthly gifts provide us with a reliable source of funding for our groundbreaking programs and services. Our Family Circle giving program allows you to donate on a monthly basis so you can help to ensure children are provided with the lifelong stability they need.
Sign up online today! Visit www.bcadoption.com/donate Charitable number: 1 18 777 671 RR0001