Restore Issue 10: February 2023

from my heart to yours

Happy February! This issue of Restore is all about my word of the year, delight.

According to Merriam-Webster, delight means:

· A high degree of gratification or pleasure

· Something that gives great pleasure

· The power of affording pleasure

In the Bible, we see the word delight used many times. (Check out page four for some verses you can print out.) It is used to describe God’s affection for us and the pleasure we find in experiencing Him and His Word. Knowing God is delightful!

We can also find delight in our relationships, our work, and in this one and only life God has given us.

Choosing this word for the year has reminded me to look for delight in my days, to intentionally look for the beauty and blessings all around me. Sometimes it may not seem like beauty on the surface: piles of laundry and dishes, dog hair on the floor, and a hundred things on my to-do list.

But when I stop for a moment, I see delight in laundry and dishes because it means we have a home to live in, clothes to wear, and food to eat. When I see the dog hair on the floor, I remember it’s because we have our sweet Hershe, who brings our family joy. When I look again at my to-do list, I am grateful for the privilege of work and being a mom.

What delights you about your life? I’d love to know.

Email me: andrea@andreafortenberry.com.

Bible Verses on Delight

Psalm 1:1-3

Proverbs 3:11-12

*Print these out and carry them with you or share them with a friend Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord and who meditates on his law day and night.

Psalm 37:4

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:23

The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.

Psalm 112:1

Praise the LORD.

Blessed are those who fear the LORD, who find great delight in his commands.

Psalm 149:4

For the LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory.

My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

Proverbs 12:22

The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.

1 Corinthians 13:6-7

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

2 Corinthians 12:10

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Zephaniah 3:17

"The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but he will rejoice over you with singing."

Delight in Your Spouse All Year

Don’t you wish every day could be Valentine’s Day? Although Valentine’s Day is very much a Hallmark holiday, it is nice to have the reminder to show love to our spouse and others.

It's important to be intentional about keeping the sparks of passion and romance alive in marriage well past Valentine’s Day. Life does get busy, but let’s not let the most important relationship we have fall to the wayside.

Here are five suggestions on how to keep the sparks alive throughout the year:

Treat Each Other the Way You Did When You Dated: Flirt with each other, write sweet love notes, buy each other little gifts or flowers once in a while. Write yourself reminders on your calendar or put an alert in your smartphone to remind you to do this regularly.

Have a Regular Date Night: I know from experience that this gets difficult because of busyness or childcare or the budget. But if we want a thriving, passionate marriage, we have to make regular date nights a priority.

Get Away Together: This does take effort and money but look ahead of time for deals and save for it. Ask family or friends to watch your kids and offer do the same for them so that they can get away too. It doesn’t have to be a luxurious Caribbean vacation, although if you can afford it, go for it! A simple weekend away at a bed and breakfast allows you to get out of your normal bubble and reconnect as a couple. Try to do this a few times a year, your marriage is worth it!

Make Time for Physical Intimacy: God gave married couples the beautiful gift of sex and sometimes it’s taken for granted or seen as a burden. Make physical intimacy a priority in your marriage. Give up watching television at night, browsing on your phone or whatever it is that distracts you from connecting as a couple in this way. Talk to each other about your physical relationship and how you can improve this area of your marriage.

Encourage and Support Each Other: Not just romantically, but in all areas of life. The more you help each other, whether that’s with the kids, with chores or being supportive with work challenges, you’ll feel more connected as a couple. Being connected will help keep the passion alive.

Loving Others This Valentine's Day

While we may usually think of Valentine's Day as an opportunity to spend time with our spouse and buy each other romantic gifts, it can actually be much more than that. We can use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to show our kids and other family members that we love them.

Here are three ideas that you can try this year:

Date Your Kids: Back when our daughter was two or three, my husband decided that he wanted to take her out on a date every Valentine’s Day. He wanted to show her how a man should treat her and use the day as intentional time with her. My husband and I set aside time the day before or after Valentine’s Day for us to go on a date. When our son was that same age, I started going on a date with him. It’s one of our favorite family traditions.

Think of Your Loved Ones: There are people in our lives who might feel a little sad or overlooked around Valentine’s Day. Widows/widowers and people who are divorced would surely appreciate some Valentine’s Day cheer. Have the kids make valentines and hand deliver them or pop them in the mail. You could also add a special treat, like a gift card, candy or flowers too.

Leave Love Hearts: When I was in a MOPS group years ago, one of the mentor moms shared this tradition. She prints out 14 hearts for each member of the family. Then on each one, she writes down a reason she loves this family member. On Valentine’s Day morning, she tapes them to their door so they’ll see them in the morning. I tried this one year and my husband and kids loved it. They kept the hearts up for months.

Use the printout on the following page to write your own love notes for your family.

Valentine's Day Love Notes

Printtheseoutandwriteyourlovedoneslovenotesoneachheart.Youcandooneadayleadingupto Valentine'sDayorgive14notesinacreativewayonValentine'sDay.

Why My Being Good Enough Relies on My Receiving

by Theresa Boedeker

Do you struggle with believing you are good enough? That you are truly loved, not for what you say and do, but for who you are?

My daughter will tell me I am the best mother ever. And if I am having a not so good day, I doubt her words. I instead may recall how I am not surpassing the mothering expectations I have for myself.

My ears distinguish her words. “You are the best mom ever.”

But my ears sometimes disbelieve what I have heard. My mind may ask how can I be the best mom if I nag her about her bedroom?

I sometimes even question her. “Really?”

“Yes,” she repeats.

She is preaching back to me what I preach to her. That she is not her grades. Her worth is not dependent on doing her chores. Her mistakes and sins do not define her.

Both of us are trying to remember these truths. Base our life on them.

We live in a world where performance, doing, and earning are how we judge each other. And because others measure our worthiness by our outcomes, deeds, and accomplishments, we think that God does too.

But the truth is, He doesn’t. He has already conferred our worth. We can’t earn it, raise it, or even prove it. Nor will it disappear or be taken from us.

Just like we claim our children and love them, God claims us as His children. He chooses to love us and care for us and work with us. To treat us as His beloved. Not because we are worthy or have earned it, but because He chooses to.

Just like our newborn babies did not earn their worth, our love, and their place in our family, the same goes for us.

He looks at us through His son’s reflection and deems us His daughter who He is delighted in. His daughter who is perfectly good enough. Not because of what we do or don’t do. But because of what Jesus has done.

Our emotions, our thoughts, or actions may tell us otherwise. That we don’t measure up. That we are not good enough and other such lies. It is up to us whether we will believe our own wisdom, or the truth and word of God.

So, when my daughter says I am the best mom ever, I try to receive her words and remind myself of God’s truth.

God is not judging me through the lens I view myself. He is not waiting for me to stumble. He is not trying to determine my worth based upon my day or actions.

He is looking at me with unconditional love. A love that is secure. A love that does not rise and fall on a daily basis. A love that wants the best for me no matter my actions. A love that forgives and redeems my sins and mistakes. A love that comforts, encourages, and helps me to become more like Him.

My daughter loves words. Affirming words fill her up like food satisfies the stomach. Affirming words spell love to her. And they do me too. But sometimes I still doubt affirming words and read them through my emotions and events of the day.

Maybe you relate. You feel your worth slide down like a careening roller coaster when critical or judgmental words come your way.

Once again, I can choose to listen to the words of others and base my worth and esteem on what they say about me, or I can focus on the words of God’s love and His actions towards me that are strewn through the Bible.

His words of affirmation say I am redeemed, made for good works, that He pursues me, that He works things out for my good, that nothing can separate me from Him, that He loves me with an everlasting love, and that He is like a mother hen gathering His children under His wings.

Once again it is my choice. I can choose to rely on my own thoughts and the words and opinions of others, or I can rely on His.

I will never meet my own or others’ expectations, nor can I live up to His perfection. Either way I am lacking. So humbly I stand before Him, needy, and receive His free gifts of love, grace, and mercy. Not because I have earned them, but because He freely offers them.

He gives and I receive. He confers my worth, I receive it. Appreciate it.

I am not good enough because I think I am or because of what I do. I am good enough because He says I am. It is He who deems me perfectly good enough.

Theresa Boedeker is a storyteller, humor hunter, and encourager to others. She is passionate about helping women smash lies with God’s truth. Overcome shame. Learn to laugh at life and themselves Notice God’s love and grace And not be afraid of making mistakes.

She unwraps life and faith at TheresaBoedeker.com. She has two children and a husband. When she is not writing, she enjoys doing creative things like cooking, making jewelry, and taking photos of flowers (they never run from the picture)

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