ANDY’S WORLD

The Blessing of Your Beloved

“Me and Zan like spicy stuff, red balloons and the arch of love, me and Zan like winter green –man, when I’m with Zan I like everything ...”

My beautiful wife’s birthday and St. Valentine’s Day fall in the same month. She gets to be a little spoiled, and this soon after the holidays. She is showered with love and affection, extravagant gifts, and words of praise!

Shoot, who am I kidding?

All that stuff I just said is more or less how she treats ME every day.

She wakes up two hours before I do, works twice as hard as I do, and spends about half the time complaining about things as I do. She always smiles, always has a good word of encouragement, and has been my patient, sweet friend and companion for 16 years, through the weirdest world of art, music and traveling. She is my Sunflower.

If you are happily married, then you will already understand what this is about. If not, I sincerely wish it for you, because, as my mom always said, “It’s hard enough living with the right one; it’s impossible living with the wrong one!” Of course, I don’t understand how she could say that, because she has only been married to one man, my dad, and for 63 years. OK – now I understand at least the first part, since I have actually typed it out.

Power of the written word.

It goes without saying that everything here in “Andy’s World” is Andy’s opinion, and I have an opinion about everything. Here’s my opinion about the secret to a sound relationship: It has to start with friendship. I know there are countries and societies that introduce their kids to one another on the kid’s wedding day. Insanity. What if they hate the smell of each other? I use the word “smell” figuratively. You know what I mean. That feeling you get, right or wrong, when you can’t be in the same room with a certain person. When you have an insurmountable aversion to that person within 10 seconds of meeting them. You kind of grit your teeth and pray for grace. How does that work on the “big 10,” 10 years in, the time most marriages undergo a huge emotional hit, and many break up? If you couldn’t stand the sound of her breathing from day one, that might be a rough anniversary party.

When I first met my wife, her enthusiasm was the first thing that was apparent to me. She had (and still has) a smile that can light up a city block, and her laugh comes from inside. Sometimes it’s like a lyrical bird song, sometimes it sounds like a chicken clucking, or a howler monkey, and sometimes it’s like nothing on this planet. But she never lets anything inhibit her laughter, and I love that about her. She is in no way normal.

Anyway, we were at a photo shoot, and she was the shooter, I was the shootee. She was so energetic, friendly and cheerful. I wanted to know who she was. Her name was Danielle. My friend, who was interviewing me for an online magazine at the time, introduced us. She had funny looking reading glasses and really long hair, tied back like a photographer would. She was a rocker in disguise, I could tell. She asked better questions than the interviewer. Questions about family, about spirituality, questions that were deep.

A few days later, we started emailing each other. I noticed right off that she had (and still has) a very open heart. Her understanding of what was happening in my life at the time was incredible, especially since it was the most difficult time of my life, and I didn’t know how to even make “small talk.” This made no difference to her, and she was the best listener I had ever known (well, besides Mom).

The way Danielle describes it, very simply, is that I “needed a friend” and she knew how to be a friend. I told her that I thought it would be OK for us to be friends, and of course see other people, but that I didn’t ever want to lose track of her. I understood for a lot of reasons why she might not want someone like me in her life, and that I would understand if she wanted to bolt. Freedom is important to weird people like us, too.

A few months later, I said to her, “It’s too late, you can’t leave me now, I think I am in love with you,” and she said, “I won’t leave you.”

So now, for all these years, it has been a bed of frosted iced vanilla cake with red roses and pink chiffon sherbet. Ha!

Not at all, but when I am exhausted, feeling totally unromantic, mad at the world, or just in one of those infamous “artist funks,” I remember that I have a great friend who married me 16 years ago and promised to never leave me.

Thank you, Danielle!

ANDY CHASE CUNDIFF Andy is a local artist, singer and songwriter, and has called Amarillo home for more than 20 years. He plays at a variety of live music venues throughout the Panhandle. Contact Andy at 376-7918.