March by Aisling Twomey

motley march 2011 - issue no. 6 ucc official magazine

The Hope in Chernobyl Taking Stock of Nuclear Disasters

The Death of Mickey Mouse Have Disney Lost Their Way?

School’s Out... Summer Fashion Comes to Town ©www.ukrmap.kiev.ua

The Team aisling twomey adam dinan audrey dearing kellie morrissey

john murphy siobhán meehan kathryn o regan andrew mcdonnell

michael holland muire o hara daithi Linnane

seán ryan jamie hooper paul o connor joan morrissey orla hodnett mary crowley frances o rourke damien o rourke mike mccarthy caroline o donoghue jerry larkin dean duke gill carter daniel kiniry adam el araby conor lyons aisling salter kieran murphy ian wisia ryan gallagher audrey walsh michelle mccarthy tadhg o donovan charles quinn

kevin bambury sorcha nagle lynn harding blau von t dominika wojciechowska lorna buttimer gillian murphy andy o mahoney brian byrne sam ryan luke dineen jd o connell mary egan sean patrick ryan shane stam david deady mae mcsweeney shaaban essa alan hogan david power laura hastings

The Writers luke field eoghan mcmahon seán ó se ultan connolly sean roberti laura harmon john o donoghue paul barry tom smith chris redmond keavy o sullivan cathal brennan kevin curran tom collins fiona burke kevin o neill cathal malone ciara drummey sam marks abdullah morshed peter neville sarah slevin genevieve shanahan seán o connell

The Models and Fashion Experts jennifer arthur sophie o regan stephen buckley laura hastings jennifer larkin

ailbhe egan john vereker jamie semple ciara mcdonnell orla o connell

michele martin calvin brannigan orla myers amy stack

liam o sullivan kate dixon

aisling bennett

Our Lookalikes audrey dearing kathryn o brien

Our Photographers cady koenigs emmet curtin

julia healy sam marks

Contents On the cover... 43.

Picnic Clothes- Summer is fast approaching; get pretty for the holidays!

20.

The Decline of Disney - Brian Byrne finds light at the end of the Mouse Tunnel.

31.

Nuclear Zone- David Power considers the disasters that cause most damage.

Current Affairs 05.

Ben Honan, SU President Elect, sits down for a chat with Adam Dinan.

07.

Luke Dineen rages against the structures of a Church that didn’t protect its innocents.

Entertainments 14.

Kellie Morrissey takes you to the finale- the endings of some favourite films.

23.

Fiona Burke brings you some good, fun, happy music to lighten the load.

Features 33.

Audrey Dearing picks out the best(ish) things about Limerick Citaaay.

37.

Caroline O Donoghue is a convert to UCC’s Next Top Model.

Fashion

Fashion P. 43

40.

Kathryn O Regan goes in pursuit of style and tries to define what makes an icon.

46.

Andrew McDonnell gives you spring/summer menswear- it’s biwinning!

Editor Aisling Twomey

hen I took on this job, I wasn’t sure what to do with the Motley name. Some people advised me to change it, remarket the magazine and start fresh, away from the sporadic history that was Motley before this year. I listened to those people, and I discarded their advice. A number of years ago, Ian Power started Motley, and with a phenomenal amount of dedication and talent, he kept it going as long as he could, with less support than I’ve had. Ian’s been my inspiration this year, and his contribution to Motley is something that ought to be written down. Motley means “miscellaneous and varied”; when we started this work in August, I wanted to embody that spirit. In the last year, we’ve published pieces about everything under the sun, and the people who made that possible are the Motley Crew, the most varied group you could find. I am very thankful to each and every writer, editor, photographer, model and contributor from this year. Without their talent, hard work and help, Motley would not happen every month. You can see each of their names on the inside cover- they all have my major respect and thanks. Staffing Motley was difficult; there were over 30 applications, over 20 interviews and some of the selections were near impossible to make. At the end of it all, we made a brilliant team of people who gave it socks for the past six months. To Michael, Adam, Kellie, John, Siobhán, Audrey, Kathryn and Andrew, thank you so much for putting up with me, listening to me, hearing me out when I moaned or groaned, and working with me to make this the very best we could. Legends, every last one of you- I won’t forget the huge amount of work that eachof you gave to this, and to me.

Muire deserves a paragraph of her own, but I won’t embarrass her too much. Each month, she took immense time and effort to design Motley on her own, all 48 pages, and we gave her a blank canvas to work with. What she made is a testament to her talent, and it was really something to work with someone who made Motley into art month after month. Each issue it got better and better- something as incredulous six months on as her design was at the very beginning. Thank you.

Student media is a funny beast. With no professional help, extremely little money, no proper equipment and nothing but the ideas in our heads, we started this journey at an awkward meeting in August. Nobody knew each other, and we had nothing to build on; we had to start from scratch. It’s a reassuring thing that we made it to this point, six issues later- a goal that at the time seemed titanic. It’s a testament to the people listed here that we made it.

Motley means “miscellaneous and varied”; when we started this work in august, i wanted to embody that spirit. in the last year, we’ve published pieces about everything under the sun, and the

people who made that possible are the motley crew, the most varied group you could find. i am very thankful to each and every writer, editor, photographer, model and contributor from this year. I don’t want to drag this out too long, but there are a few people who deserve thanks that you might not know about. Daithi Linnane gave me this job; he gave me free reign to do with Motley what I wished. I’d like to think, at the end of this year, that we achieved at least a little of what we hoped for, and at least a little of what he expected. After two years of working with him on media in UCC, he’ll always be a friend of mine. Fidelma Burnell in the SU deserves a big ole box of chocolates for letting us store Motley with her for a few days each month. I do appreciate that- thanks for forcing us to distribute the magazine, rain, hail or shineand especially when we didn’t feel like it!

There are doubtless people I have forgotten, and people who’ll feel they ought to have been mentioned; they’re probably correct, and deserve the same thanks and praise. For Audrey Dearing, Alan Parkes, Kieran Murphy and Keith O Brien: you people rock my boat, and I’m beyond grateful for your help, love and support. Dinner and drinks on me at any time, day or night. And bail money should you ever need it. And last, but in no way least, to the Parents and the Brother, who are the ones to make me tea when I need it and give out to me when I need to get moving on things; thank you kindly for the tough love and the kind love. Someday, I’ll pay you back.

Current Affairs

currentaffairs@motley.ie

Adam Dinan

Honan in on student issues

current affairs editor adam dinan talks to students’ union president elect ben honan

iven his stature, Ben Honan cuts an intimidating figure. A tall, dark haired basketball coach who could probably pick most people up with one hand, he is actually surprisingly gentle when you engage him. Wearing his trademark zip-up hoody and blue jeans, he greats me with a friendly handshake and accepts my congratulations modestly. “I’ve spent most of the past few days sleeping to be honest”. It’s not surprising; last week, he was elected the new President of UCC Students’ Union having taken on and beaten the incumbent officer. “It was a very draining and tiring experience ... these elections really aren’t a healthy thing to go through!” He smiles. “But they’re also very rewarding, we had a huge team, a very active team and I’m really proud, I hope I can restore their faith in me.” He looks earnestly with wide eyes and leans forward in his chair, it’s clear that he genuinely means it. Given the introduction of a spending cap of €500 for all sabbatical election campaigns this year, the mood on campus – though still hectic – was noticeably more civilised than in previous years. “I do think it helped, people were forced to be a bit more innovative in how they approached things; it added a personal touch that I really enjoyed.” With all the hustle and bustle since the results came in, Honan could be forgiven for not having sat down to work just yet, but he does have a clear plan of action for the year ahead. “I’ve got big picture stuff and small picture stuff that I want to work on,” he enthuses. “In terms of the big picture, I’m trying to reconnect people with the Union as much as possible.” On this front, he is pleased that students voted in favour of splitting the Deputy Presidential position into Campaigns and Communications portfolios. “Now that we’ll have a full-time

campaigns officer, someone who can give their full attention to the job, it will help a lot. They’ll be working closely with me, so I think that reconnecting with the students will be very achievable for us.” He is big on the issue of college pride, which he says has been lacking in recent times. “Ideally, I’d like to work with clubs and societies. There are a lot of things which should make us proud to be in UCC; we’ve got fantastic debating teams and sports clubs. We should make people feel a connection with that.” He also believes that the Students’ Union can play its part in this reconnection process. “The Union, as it is, is quite disjointed.” He clearly feels strongly

committees, but of course students need to be represented. These committees will go ahead either way, so all I can do is try to do my best for students on them. This is a bureaucratic job in some ways, I’ve just got to get on with it.” In terms of reform, Class Council, the decision making body above the Students’ Union executive consisting of all Class Reps from across the University, is something which he picks out. “I think, for a start, class reps should be primarily accountable to their class and not to the council. It should only be the class who have the power to punish or to remove a rep. In terms of promotion, we need to be doing more than

“It was a very draining and tiring experience ... these elections really aren’t a healthy thing to go through!” He smiles. “But they’re also very rewarding, we had a huge team, a very active team and I’m really proud, I hope I can restore their faith in me.” about the matter. “People are going on solo runs, and perhaps the workload could be a bit more overlapping and spread out, rather than having different people doing entirely different, even conflicting, jobs. That’s not a personal slant on anyone, it’s a structural thing, and I think that from the get-go we need to have a cohesive approach next year and it’ll be my responsibility to ensure that it happens.” While he is happy to take the responsibility on his shoulders, he recognises that there is a high level of bureaucracy within the University structure that will prove time-consuming once he assumes his new role. “On a personal level, I don’t want to sit on a load of boring

giving free drinks and pizza to encourage people to attend, because it clearly isn’t working.” Honan also has a renewed mandate for opposition to third level fees, after close to 90% of voters came out in favour of maintaining the campaign. “I’ve said previously that I don’t see fees as being the number one priority in the year ahead. Ruairi Quinn, the new Minister for Education, was part of the government that initially abolished third-level fees, and he also signed USI’s anti-fee pledge recently.” He seems eager to stress the point that he doesn’t take it for granted. “There will be a lot of things to fight, but I don’t see fees as being as big a priority as they have been in previous years.”

Current Affairs

Ben answers your questions

“If you could change one thing about the SU this year, what would it have been?” brian byrne I think the Union needs to present more of a united front. I saw one of the officers this year was publicly attacked on an internet forum board, and not a single fellow officer came on to defend them. I think that the SU needs to be seen as a brand; every thing that an officer does is a public representation of the Union. If an officer speaks, the Union speaks. If an officer is attacked, the Union is attacked. Particularly with the sabbatical officers. If someone does something wrong, the Union should rally behind them but deal with the matter internally. You have to present a united front as much as possible.

I think the Union needs to present more of a united front. I saw one of the officers this year was publicly attacked on an internet forum board, and not a single fellow officer came on to defend them. “Do you still plan to introduce a Farmers’ Market in UCC next year?” tom smith This is something that I put in my manifesto, and something that I’m very excited about, I spoke to a lot of people on the campaign trail about the idea. It’s done in UL to great effect, there’s a perfect spot for it in UCC. I think it’s awful that it hasn’t been done in UCC yet, and I’ve already received contact from people interest in getting involved in the running of it. I know a group of students have already been working away on the idea, and I plan to sit down with them and talk to them about it. Hopefully come September, we can have one up and running in UCC.

“What are your plans for Motley next year?” audrey dearing, motley features editor

I’ve no specific plans on a personal level. I love Motley, and I’m happy that there’ll now be a specific Communications officer who will have a bit more time to dedicate to it and to make all UCC publications a bit more financially viable, but I am very keen for Motley to continue next year. Of course, it has to remain autonomous but I’d definitely like to show support in terms of strong Union backing. “Where do you buy your tall-man hoodies?” daithi linnane, deputy president students’ union I’ve actually had to reform my dress sense in recent times... I’m only allowed wear my tallman hoodies once a week now. But if anyone wants some, I’ll have a few lying around that I’m not using anymore. I don’t think they’d fit Daithi though. “How do you deal with your grey hair?” paul keohane The elections probably haven’t helped, I think it’s rapidly increasing at the current rate ... I’d also question why a CIT student is being given space in a UCC magazine! “Despite there being an SU president from Limerick City serving just the year before last, there was a distinct and disappointing lack of free yokes on campus. As you hail from marginally closer to the national cultural centre of yokes, Shanaboolie, can we expect loads of free yokes next year?” julia healy

My heart goes out to you Julia, but unfortunately in economic terms, by giving out free yokes, we would destroy the yoke trade and a lot of people wouldn’t be happy about that. (Disclaimer, I’m completely opposed to drug use!) “As a basketball man, who do you think is going to win the NCAA basketball championship this year?” tommy thompson I think Duke got a bit of a hiding, so they’d. I think I should sit down with you and fill out a bracket some night, but for the moment I’m gonna go with the ‘Tar Heels’, North Carolina University. “Do you prefer to high-five or bonesed?” kevin curran I have yet to discover what bonesing actually is! If you mean fist-pumping, then I think it’s highly appropriate for a more low-key celebration, whereas a high five is more exuberant. So it depends on the circumstances.

Church structures facilitated abuse of power luke dineen

iarmuid Martin’s recent liturgy in Dublin’s Pro-Cathedral was an extraordinary display of Christian humility and compassion towards victims of clerical sex abuse. In acknowledging that clerics put the ‘institutional Church before the safety of children’ and actively covered up ‘crimes of abuse’, he has hopefully ended the church’s culture of indifference and denial for its culpability for the sexual abuse of children. Furthermore, the passion, honesty and clarity he provided was very genuine and admirable. So too was the bemusement he expressed at how the Catholic Church could behave in such a sinful way. But is this conduct more explicable than we care to admit? That the zeitgeist of the church has always been a lust for power and domination? Shouldn’t we admit that with all manmade institutions of power, particularly ones that operate within the walls of an accountability exclusion zone, corruption, abuse of power and self-interest are inevitable? So why should this one be any different? The fact that we venerate their lavish displays of papal splendour and a cult of authority instead of recoiling at such symbols of abusive power represents a triumph of humanity’s darker capacities, rather than an appropriate method to advance the beautifully moral message of Jesus. These questions are all the more pertinent when we consider the enormous influence the Catholic Church still wields in areas as crucial to the wellbeing of Irish society as public health and education. Rarely did the church as an institution flourish as in post independence Ireland, yet rarely did it contribute so little to the finer qualities of the Christian faith. The uniquely Irish devotion to it facilitated a legitimisation for the impoverishment of spirit and the barrenness of mind that characterised the post independence

Roman Empire. Presided over by a supreme bourgeoisie, touting for moral respectability. While the church still claimed pontiff, unaccountable, unchallengeable, and infused with the ‘authority’ of Christ to be the defender of the poor in spirit. (which, incidentally, took them centuries The fact that we venerate their lavish to discover). Its stratified structures of displays of papal splendour and a cult complete patriarchy, strict obedience, deep of authority instead of recoiling at such hierarchy and utter subservience to the symbols of abusive power represents a arbitrary will of one’s superior are justified triumph of humanity’s darker capacities, in of the name of Jesus, whose will this rather than an appropriate method to church supposedly embodies. advance the beautifully moral message of Jesus. Indeed the very manner in which Central to the idea of the church was that church hierarchs expect to be addressed is it alone had a monopoly of ethicality, and repugnant to many as they infer servitude was thus the divine vehicle for the salvation on the part of the supplicant, not any kind of of humankind, salvation from the fires of mutual Christian respect. hell for our innate sinfulness. As an obvious consequence, protecting its good reputation Nor can we forget that this is an and power superseded all other human institution whose conceit brought such concerns of civil society. Even something as devastation and suffering to so many horrific as the sexual abuse of children. during the course of its own history. It has About three years ago I learned of a championed the degradation of women, monstrous event in human history. The viciously attacked so many politically genocide of the Cathars 802 years ago. The progressive movements and gave such an Cathars were a religious sect that arose in the indefatigable energy to ruthlessly crushing 12th century in the south of France, and soon dissent (‘heresy’) in ways that subsequently became a mass movement. They believed became bywords for barbarity. that humans went through a series of The Catholic Church in every respect incarnations before becoming a pure spirit, represents the continuation of archaic which represented the presence of the God Medieval monarchy. It is an institution that of love, as described by Jesus. The inaptly supplanted the autocratic model of the named Pope Innocent III viewed them as a

>>Continued on page 08

Current Affairs

Labour should do their homework on GM foods calls by labour minister ruairi quinn for ireland to remain gm-free are scientifically misinformed and short-sighted, writes tom smith.

t seems that the ‘frankenfoods’ controversy will just never go away. Don’t the big bad bioscience corporations such as Monsatan (sic) know that we, the EU consumers, don’t want potato plants with monkey heads growing out of their tubers? Besides, won’t GMOs damage our fine nation’s marketing prospects as a “green” food island? The latter is a question which would have come to mind after a high-profile press conference last month, at which Ruairi Quinn of Labour tried to pick up some green votes by agreeing that Ireland must remain a “GM Free Island”, for the sake of its marketing evolution into a sustainable food-exporting paradise.

Aside from the irony that most of the participants are avid “local food” advocates, who would never before have taken the slightest bit of interest in Ireland’s export prospects, such arguments warrant a number of addenda:

* Nature doesn’t work in zero tolerance purity, something which has been acknowledged previously by the EU whereby organic farmers can have up to 0.9% GE “contamination” in foods destined to be eaten directly by humans.

* The shift of the anti-Genetic Engineering (GE) campaigners to arguments based on socio-political and economic issues such as exporting clearly displays the weakness of the environmental / human health arguments which have been common currency up until now. (Furthermore, while there may indeed be socio-political issues regarding, for example, intellectual property and corporate control, these aren’t unique to the food system. Just take a look at the pharmaceutical industry! What more do campaigners expect from a capitalist, profit-driven economy?)

Participants at the press conference, worryingly including someone who is now a government minister, seem not to see the environmental and human health benefits which GE cultivation can bring, on large and small farms alike. For example, the enabling of carbon-sequestering zero-tillage farming reduced environmental impacts of pesticides and herbicides, reduced land usage etc. Perhaps they should talk to the Chinese cotton farmers whose lives have been saved by reduced pesticide exposure, for example. Becoming a sustainable food island, and being true environmentalists, would surely involve consciously encouraging such developments, rather than taking the juvenile position of just trying to shut ourselves off from what is a very heterogeneous technology?

* The vast majority of Ireland’s exports are as bulk commodities and regardless of whether we’re considered ‘sustainable’ / GM-free or a nation of alcoholic leprechauns, etc. won’t make a difference to this. * The calls for sustainability-based marketing imply that organic and GE are incompatible. This simply isn’t the case, as demonstrated, for example, by the organic farmer / plant geneticist duo of Ronald & Adamchak in their beautifully-written book Tomorrow’s Table.

So what’ll it be Labour? Will the new government take a rational, science-based position on GE or will Ruairi Quinn be attending more misinformed events for the sake of image? Will they attempt to show consumers, who’ve been influenced by blatant distortions of reality and Frankenfood scare-mongering, that GE food has been eaten safely by hundreds of millions of people for decades?

* The change in legislation which has provoked such calls for a “GM-Free Island” was simply the idea that what is currently a zero tolerance threshold should be moved up to 0.1% tolerance of GE “contamination” in animal feed (yes, that does say 0.1%).

Maybe then environmentalists and the wider public can get back to challenging the things which are, on a daily basis, actually destroying our health and our planet.

>>Church structures facilitated abuse of power continued from page 07 severe threat to papal supremacy and declared a crusade against the Cathars (his fellow Christians), known as the Albigensian Crusade. Innocent promised land and wealth to knights who would join the assault, and thousands did. The crusaders murdered entire populations, men, women and children in towns across the Languedoc in late July 1209, and seized the riches for themselves. This massacre was

not a spontaneous occurrence. It had been planned meticulously by a group involving Innocent. I cite this historical crime not to suggest that anything the church is engaged in now compares at all to it, much less that the Catholic religion which the institutional church has so often betrayed is anything other than a faith based on Christian love

and justice. Rather, what I wish to convey is that the conviction that the Holy Roman Catholic Apostolic Church alone is the sole instrument for the salvation of humanity from eternal damnation (coupled with its authoritarian nature) is the pernicious cover for the terrible abuses of power that Diarmuid Martin so rightly condemns.

Cancun Climate conference was a missed opportunity

sean roberti

he outcome of the recent UN climate change conference,in Cancun, Mexico, was a disappointing one. Expectations had been very low to begin with, especially following the catastrophic failure of the previous conference in Copenhagen in December 2009. At the conference, countries agreed to limit the global temperature rise to 2 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels. However, the target is not legally binding and global temperatures are already 0.8 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels. The Cancun agreement reinforces the pledge made by rich countries in Copenhagen in 2009 to give $100 billion per year in aid to developing countries by 2020. However, it is still not clear how the aid will be funded. It was also decided to pay developing countries to protect their forests. This is actually a very good idea. Timber logging and the clearing of forest land are both extremely profitable and a major source of carbon emissions. If the monetary reward for protecting forests becomes greater than the reward for destroying them, many of the remaining forests could be saved. Again, however, no one knows where the money will come from.

will pass a tipping point. From then on, the planet will heat up all by itself, due to positive feedback mechanisms, in a process known as “runaway climate change”.l. One positive feedback mechanism involves the oceans’ ability to store CO2. The world’s oceans absorb and store about a third of all the carbon humans emit. However, warmer water is less effective at storing CO2. As the oceans heat up, they will take in less and less CO2 and might actually start releasing it back into the atmosphere, thus changing from a carbon sink into a carbon source. This release of carbon will make the planet (and the oceans) even warmer, causing the oceans to release more CO2, and so on. Positive feedback may also happen as global warming triggers the sudden release of greenhouse gases that have been trapped for thousands of years. In Siberia, a vast area of frozen peat-land known as the “permafrost” is beginning to thaw. The frozen bog is the size of France and Germany combined and scientists believe huge amounts of methane, a greenhouse gas 20 times more powerful than CO2, currently trapped beneath the ice will be released as

Our own former president, Mary Robinson, who was at the Cancun conference, said in an interview, “the climate issue is the most compelling human rights issue of the 21st century”. She added, “already, it’s destroying the human rights of a lot of people - the rights to food and safe water. It’s going to be the source of conflicts.” Many at the Cancun summit, particularly from richer countries seemed to be unaware of how perilously close we might be to irreversibly destroying our planet. Scientists are now finding that the Earth could be heating faster than we previously realised. There is compelling evidence that once global temperatures rise to 2 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels, our planet

the permafrost melts. There may also be frozen crystals of methane at the bottom of many of the world’s oceans, which could be released as ocean temperatures rise. Another positive feedback mechanism is the albedo effect. White surfaces reflect more solar radiation than dark surfaces. As the polar ice caps melt, they leave behind

dark ocean, which takes in more heat, helping the remaining ice to melt faster, and so on. The effects of climate change are already being felt around the world. 2010 was the hottest year on record and extreme weather events including flash floods, hurricanes, heat waves and droughts have all become more common and more severe. Those of us who were in UCC last year saw the effects of global warming ourselves when the river Lee burst its banks and flooded large parts of the city, including buildings in the university. If there hadn’t been a dam on the Lee at Inniscarra, the flooding would have been much worse. Predictions show that as the planet continues to heat, poorer countries will suffer the most. In some parts of Africa, it is estimated that agricultural yields could be reduced by up to 50% as soon as 2020. In Asia, the Himalayan glaciers are the source of all the continent’s major rivers. Two billion people depend on these rivers for drinking water and irrigation. It is expected that over a billion people will be affected as these glaciers continue to recede. Our own former president, Mary Robinson, who was at the Cancun conference, said in an interview, “the climate issue is the most compelling human rights issue of the 21st century”. She added, “already, it’s destroying the human rights of a lot of people - the rights to food and safe water. It’s going to be the source of conflicts.” On a positive note, Mrs. Robinson asserted, “what encourages me is that young people get it...they actually know it better than I do.” It is vitally important that decisive action is taken soon to reverse the trend of global warming. We need to curb the rise in greenhouse gas emissions during the next ten years and then drastically reduce them. Let’s hope the negotiators at the next UN climate change conference in Durban, South Africa, can reach a better deal.

Current Affairs

End of civil war politics could pave way for true left-right divide the results of our general election suggest that the end may be nigh for civil war politics in ireland, but only time will tell, writes sarah slevin.

he first day of the 31st Dáil made for unfamiliar viewing. Having elected Enda Kenny as the first Fine Gael Taoiseach in 14 years, the subsequent seating rearrangement demonstrated visually the colossal majority of the new Government. Dominating two-thirds of the House, Fine Gael and Labour no doubt found that the view was much more gratifying from that side of the floor. Meanwhile, the diminished Soldiers of Destiny returned from the one battle in which they were comprehensively defeated. With an emboldened Sinn Féin and a motley crew of Independents, Dáil debates are poised to be that little bit more interesting. If only for a little while. The next five years will be vital in deciding the legacy of the election. Fianna Fáil, despite huge losses, remain the largest party in opposition. Consequently, they should stand to gain the most from the inevitable fall in popularity of the government. The first day of the 31st Dáil made for unfamiliar viewing. Having elected Enda Kenny as the first Fine Gael Taoiseach in 14 years, the subsequent seating rearrangement demonstrated visually the colossal majority of the new Government. Dominating twothirds of the House, Fine Gael and Labour no doubt found that the view was much more gratifying from that side of the floor. Meanwhile, the diminished Soldiers of Destiny returned from the one battle in which they were comprehensively defeated. With an emboldened Sinn Féin and a motley crew of Independents, Dáil debates are poised to be that little bit more interesting. If only for a little while. Election 2011 attracted one of the highest turnouts in recent decades. The electorate

had a statement to make, and it has been heard loud and clear in the corridors of Leinster House. It also proved to be the election of the superlatives, as while Fianna Fáil suffered the worst result in their history, everyone else had their best. The transformation in terms of seat numbers would indicate that this is one of the most momentous elections in our State’s narrative. However, whether this is to be a watershed period in Irish politics is yet to be decided. Seat numbers alone cannot truly represent the real story of an election, nor can they alone depict a dramatic change in an electorate’s mindset. Peter Mair, professor of Comparative Politics at the European University Institute, Florence spoke on RTE radio recently. He believes the Irish general election to be the third most volatile in the history of postwar European democracy. Describing this further, he said that there was a seismic shift in voting patterns not normally seen in democratic elections. It was also significant that this was achieved without the intervention of a new political party, as was the case in those elections that beat us to the top of the electoral volatility list. Volatile it may have been, but its capacity to fundamentally alter our political system goes beyond transient voting patterns. For

90 years, the civil war has held a vice-like grip over Irish politics. Political parties like Clann na Poblachta and the Progressive Democrats will attest to the strength of that grip, as they tried, and failed, to permanently break the mould of Irish politics. To those who are unfamiliar with politics in this country, it must seem an alien thing for an event that occurred generations previously to dominate modern voting patterns. Common sense should indicate that it will take more than one election to emerge from the shadow it casts over us. However, the stage has never been set more perfectly for a shift away from these ancient divisions. The next five years will be vital in deciding the legacy of the election. Fianna Fáil, despite huge losses, remain the largest party in opposition. Consequently, they should stand to gain the most from the inevitable fall in popularity of the government. It is also dependant on how the left wing opposition parties, Sinn Féin and the ULA, build on their gains. Both parties will probably concentrate their attacks on Labour, as the spending cuts implemented by the government will be at odds with their left wing aspirations. As well as this, the promised political reforms could make the system more conducive to more diverse parties.

>>Continued on page 12

Women’s Aid launch youth violence awareness campaign audrey ellard walsh

his year’s hustings for the Union of Students in Ireland (USI) Equality Officer saw the topic of violence in youth relationships put back on the table. It has previously seemed to be a bit of a “cake” motion with USI Gender Equality Officer Tomás Conway listing it as one of his main campaign goals for the year without actually engaging in the issue. UCC Welfare Officer Pádraig Rice speaking to me on the issue said that it is certainly something that he has dealt with in the course of his casework. “Domestic abuse is something that isn’t discussed much in college. A nationwide campaign is really needed to address the issue”. It remains to be seen whether newly elected USI Equality Officer Gerard Gallagher, who has stated plans to work with COSC (the national agency for domestic, sexual and gender-based violence) in developing a campaign on the issue, will fulfil this promise. A myth seems to exist around domestic violence that it is something that only exists in well established relationships and older couples. Unfortunately it is actually a very real and insidious issue amongst the student and youth population. A major problem is the glamorisation of it particularly in the music industry. Eminem did it first with “Stan” and now again with Rihanna as “Love The Way You Lie” has become a massive dance hit in clubs. With abuse personified as a highly sexualised Dominic Monaghan and Megan Fox arguing and making up, it is hardly surprising that it isn’t generally taken to be a serious issue amongst students. According to Women’s Aid, who launched their 2in2u campaign this Valentine’s day, 1 in 5 women over the age of 18 experience physical, emotional and sexual abuse in Ireland with 60% of women who experienced severe abuse in intimate relationships reporting that this occurred for the first time under the age of 25. Further, frankly frightening, research conducted by Women’s Aid claims that 95% of young women and 84% of young men reported knowing someone who had

As well as the radio and print aspect of the campaign, women are encouraged to take a ‘relationship health check’ quiz at the website 2in2u.ie, which asks questions about It is often less obvious than physical boyfriend behaviour. Questions include abuse though. The campaign slogan “If “Does your boyfriend complain about your it feels wrong, it probably is” seeks to friends and say you spend too much time highlight how controlling and manipulative with them?” and “Does he pass comment behaviour can be just as damaging as on how you look or dress?” and if certain physical abuse and to encourage women to answers are given, the person is encouraged rely on their gut feelings in these situations. to notice unhealthy signs in a relationship Unfortunately, the excitement and passion and to contact Women’s Aid or look for in the early stages of a relationship can mask help from friends and family if they feel overbearing behaviour with emotional abuse uncomfortable in their situation. Dating mistaken for love and romance. Speaking at abuse can range from constant texting or the launch, Women’s Aid director Margaret other contact and isolation from friends Martin said that “In dating relationships and family, to physical attacks and forcing a violence and abuse are already a feature person to perform sexual acts. but are often not recognised as such by the The USI Equality Standing Conference, young woman herself, or her friends.” which will be held in April, will surely see Actress Charlene McKenna, star of RTÉ further debate on this issue. Regardless, drama Raw, launched the campaign. however, it is important to continue to “I think it’s brilliant to bring awareness of raise awareness of it and to not ignore it as dating abuse to young women as it’s not something utterly external and removed something you associate with our age group from college life. and yet it is as prevalent as it is with older Audrey Ellard Walsh is UCC Students’ people,” she said. Union’s Gender Equality officer, and was recently elected overall Equality Officer. experienced abuse at the hands of a partner and 1 in 4 young women know someone who has been forced to have sex.

Current Affairs

Brain drain is not the end seán o’connell finds reason to be hopeful about ireland’s future economy, as research and technology remain strong.

midst the doom and gloom of Ireland’s economic woes it is sometimes difficult to remind people of the strengths we still possess. Our current economic difficulties are far from over, and numbers of people, particularly young people, emigrating seem to be increasing all the time. We don’t appear to have much to get excited about. IBEC’s recently-released “Ireland by the Numbers” video aims to provide some hope. It is far from a life-changing experience, however at just over three minutes long it does cite some interesting facts and statistics about Ireland’s economy that many are sure to find surprising. Irish politicians have for many years been selling our country as a destination with a well educated and enterprising work force. This is clearly evident as we play host to 8 of the top 10 software companies, 8 of the top 10 pharmaceutical companies and 15 of the top 25 medical devices companies worldwide. Amongst those currently recruiting in these fields is Google which recently announced an expansion of its Dublin headquarters. In total, Ireland is home to 960 foreign companies employing 138,000 workers. Our home grown enterprise is also highlighted. Of the 160 medical technology

companies operating in Ireland half are indigenous and we export €6.9 billion in medical devices. One example of these companies is Crospon, a medical devices company founded in Galway in 2006. It recently received FDA approval for one of its novel surgical imaging devices and plans to expand into the US market. A survey conducted last year on an EU-wide scale found us to be the most pessimistic regarding our countries finances and perhaps we were right. Having witnessed such a dramatic decline in the building and related industries and the failure of our unsinkable banks no one can be blamed for pessimism. Irish research centers have an excellent international reputation and their achievements over 2010 are too numerous to list. One highlight is the success of Professor Jean-Pierre Colinge of Cork’s Tyndall National Institute who was awarded Science Foundation Ireland’s ‘Researcher of the Year 2010’ in November. His team fabricated the

worlds first junctionless transistor, a move predicted to revolutionise nanoelectronics manufacturing and the semiconductor industry. Irish ingenuity is anything but a modern phenomenon. Irish men and women are credited with the invention of, among other things, color photography, the submarine, the binaural stethoscope and the portable defibrillator. Irish people are also credited with the discovery of radiotherapy, pulsars and explaining why the sky is blue. A survey conducted last year on an EU-wide scale found us to be the most pessimistic regarding our countries finances and perhaps we were right. Having witnessed such a dramatic decline in the building and related industries and the failure of our unsinkable banks no one can be blamed for pessimism. However these are dark times, not the end times, and the future success stories in our fair country will still probably be written by those now graduating.

>>End of Civil War Politics continued from page 10 If we are to reject the old ways, then the natural progression would be to a more European ideological divide. Proponents of this left/right spectrum say it offers a real choice to the electorate, rather than the illusion of choice we have had in this country over the years. However, the question is do the Irish electorate want to move to this type of divide? Surely the very fact our politics survived this long shows that what we want is consistency and stability. After all, the politicians are representative of the people who elect them.

Ireland is somewhat unique in a European context in terms of its politics. Our history and divisions continue to have a sustained and profound impact on our political structure. These structures have been bombarded over recent weeks, and whether they will remain standing is yet to be seen. But it will be for forthcoming years, not the past few week, to tell us if the walls of our political system are to be permanently torn down.

FF Auditor’s apology should be welcomed

university is a place to broaden the mind genevieve shanahan

I would like to think I’m not a homophobic person. I am a proud member of the LGBT society, take part in various campaigns and try to educate myself on relevant issues and personal perspectives. Yet I still manage to mess up and make presumptions that reveal problematic beliefs, or say something accidentally offensive from time to time. Similar things happen in the context of disability, gender, race and culture. As with all prejudice this is usually traceable to specific ignorance.

The comments pertaining to those who ‘have homosexuality’, ridiculing an effeminate stereotype of gay people and suggesting that marriage equality is undesirable in a Christian state, however, When this occurs a person has two options. You can make were made “half in jest, half in ignorance” according to Eoin. He some sort of excuse and belligerently maintain that you are not admitted that “at the time I would have been against adoption prejudiced because you have friends who belong to the group in [rights for same sex couples],” but went on to fully endorse marriage question, actively support their interests, etc; or you can accept you equality and adoption reform - “I was wrong… A child deserves a were wrong, apologise and endeavour not to make the same mistake good home and there’s no reason why that good home shouldn’t be again. When put in those terms it’s easy to see the latter is the only two loving people regardless of gender or sexual orientation.” mature response, but that of course requires admitting that you are not quite as prejudice-free as you would like to be. Giving up the ‘I Eoin cited the realisation that people he knew were gay as the am always perfectly tolerant’ safety blanket can leave one feeling main factor in his change of heart. “I’ve had things happen to me quite cold. in the past year that have opened my eyes… I took a long hard look at myself basically and said ‘Jesus Christ, you can’t be saying this anymore.’” He also pointed to involvement in UCC societies as broadening his perspective - “It’s only in the past year that I really started to get more involved and that in a way helped as well… education isn’t all in books. Education is meeting people, getting new ideas, having ideas, coming in and moulding ideas, changing ideas. There’s a lot more than meets the eye.”

While in the blog post Eoin stated that he was “in no way homophobic” he seems to have since accepted that at the time his beliefs were indefensible, stating, “I was wrong…. I would have been narrow-minded.” I think there’s something we can all learn in this. Earlier this month Eoin Furlong, Auditor of the UCC Ogra Fianna Fail Cumann, found himself on the front page of the Irish Examiner thanks to derogatory, homophobic comments made in his blog in February of last year. I spoke to Eoin to find out how much of the content of the blog was an accurate reflection of his beliefs at the time, and whether he still subscribes to those beliefs today. He claims that much of the piece was intended as a joke – in the original blog he assumes the persona of an ultra-conservative Christian, taking swipes at ‘the scourge of secularism’ and decrying the legalisation of divorce and the use of artificial contraceptives. As Eoin was already in his second year of university at this point it is not hard to believe that these were simply hyperbolic statements aiming at humour rather than a genuine presentation of beliefs.

While in the blog post Eoin stated that he was “in no way homophobic” he seems to have since accepted that at the time his beliefs were indefensible, stating, “I was wrong…. I would have been narrow-minded.” I think there’s something we can all learn in this. Accepting that our beliefs are wrong is necessary for them to change, and this change is clearly a good thing in which we all have to engage at some point. Nobody would endorse the original contents of Eoin’s blog, or suggest that to say such things is acceptable. But I think we should endorse people’s right to change their mind, and would agree that it is good that we all do. This means giving up the safety blanket of mere assertions of non-prejudice, and instead living up to the requirement that we actually make good on such a claim every day, learning from our inevitable mistakes.

Entertainments

Kellie Morrissey

entertainments@motley.ie

And that's a wrap! kellie morrissey bids you farewell – and contemplates how cinema's greats have done so in the past... Welcome to the final installment of the Ents section as presented by myself & Mssy. Murph – it's been pretty awesome to run a full 6 (!) issues this academic year and it's been especially awesome to write Ents. In honour of the occasion, and because I'm pretty cheesy, I thought it'd be pretty fitting to wrap up Motley's Ents Section 2010/11 by recounting some of our favourite movie endings. Warning – this may get teary. Oh, and spoilers ahoy!

Amadeus

Milos Forman's 1984 adaptation of Peter Shaffer's play is probably one of the more beautiful, entertaining and generally good films of all time: it tells the (mostly fictionalised) story of how Mozart (here portrayed by Tom Hulce as childish, vulgar and incredibly talented – with a very annoying laugh) was (indirectly) murdered by a musical rival at the time, the scheming and insanely jealous Salieri (F. Murray Abraham). The final scene opens with the conclusion of Salieri's story – he is now infirm and confined to an asylum long after Mozart's death. The young priest to whom he confessed is visibly shaken, disturbed and clinging to his crucifix – as Salieri is wheeled out of the room, he pauses to speak to the priest. Mozart's Piano Concerto in D Minor creeps into the background. “I will speak for you, Father,” he says. “I speak for all mediocrities in the world. I am their champion. I am their © orion patron saint.” The final shots are of the ancient Salieri, once a great composer, being wheeled down the corridor of the asylum, crying out to the madmen he's surrounded with - “Mediocrities of the world – I absolve you!” before leaning back. He closes his eyes, folds his hand, and opens his mouth. Mozart's laugh emerges. Fade to black. The scene gave me goosebumps the first time I watched it – a disturbing end to an incredible film.

Midnight Cowboy

Midnight Cowboy is an odd one. It's the story of Joe (Jon Voight), a young Texan who comes to New York to make it as a male prostitute. He meets Ratso (Dustin Hoffman), who initially scams him out of money before the two make friends in the face of extreme poverty, unemployment and a harsh winter. Ratso, while a shady character, is also sick: he wants to make it out of New York and with worsening health, the two attempt to hire Joe out as a stud. Increasingly desperate and after a string of disturbing sexual encounters, Joe beats and robs a customer, and the two depart for Miami on a bus. However, Ratso is incredibly ill, and just as Joe wonders aloud about their new life in Miami, he realises Ratso has died beside him. Joe alerts the bus driver, who replies there is nothing left to do but continue to Miami, and Joe sits beside his dead friend, watching the landscape change outside. Seriously sombre stuff after an hour and a half of gritty drama, but highly recommended.

Being There

“Life is a state of mind” are the last lines of this brilliant film, starring Peter Sellers as Chance the Gardener, a simple-minded middle-aged man who, after years of peaceful isolation tending the garden of a wealthy townhouse in Washington DC, is turned out on the streets when its owner dies. Chance, dressed well but old-fashioned, wanders aimlessly until he is hit by the car of Ben Rand, a wealthy businessman and close aide to the President. Mistaking Chance the Gardener for “Chauncey Gardiner” (a mispronunciation), Rand and his wife (Shirley Maclaine) also mistake Chance's simple musings about gardening (“As long as the roots are not severed, all is well. And all will be well in the garden”) for sage comments on the economy. He becomes an advisor to © united artists the President, appears on television and is offered book deals – all the while oblivious to what occurs around him. Finally, the terminally ill Rand dies: the final scene is his funeral. Chance wanders away once more, tends to a sapling and continues to stroll across the surface of a small lake. A few strides in, he pauses, pushes his umbrella down through the water as if to test its depth, and continues on his way. Is any interpretation sufficient? Roger Ebert says this of Being There: “The movie presents us with an image, and while you may discuss the meaning of the image, it is not permitted to devise explanations for it. Since Ashby does not show a pier, there is no pier – a movie is exactly what it shows us, and nothing more.”

Kids

I don't like Kids. I'm pretty hard to shock when it comes to movies, but there's something really ugly about this one – also, the early 90s clothes and jargon make it a hard one to relate to, whatever your socioeconomic status. That said, however, its ending is really something - it's the story of Telly, a 17 year old skater from New York who really likes sex but only deflowers virgins on the premise that this will protect him from STDs. Telly's friends are cinema's stereotypical teenaged sex, booze and drug addicts: all except Jenny (Chloe Sevigny), who has only ever had sex with Telly and has just discovered that she has HIV. For the rest of the movie, she attempts to find the also-HIV positive Telly, who has since had sex with many young girls, eventually finding him at a house party, having sex with a 13 year old girl. Exhausted and under the influence of party drugs, she passes out only for Telly's friend Casper (Justin Pierce) to rape her, thus exposing himself to HIV. The final shot opens on a naked Casper, who wakes up, looks around in disbelief and asks the camera, “Jesus Christ, what happened?” It's shocking and a little viewerexploitative, but it works.

Movies

Some Like it Hot

It's hard not to love Some Like it Hot: if you've not seen it, get out and get it, now – even if you don't like older movies, SLiH is a treat. Mostly because it's aged extremely well – you'll get every one of the jokes, all the laughs are still intact and man, Marilyn Monroe is very sexy here. It's the story of two musicians, Jerry (Jack Lemmon) and Joe (Tony Curtis) who witness a gangster shooting and flee the scene, disguising themselves as Josephine (Curtis) and Daphne (Lemmon) and joining a woman's touring band. There they meet Sugar Kane (Monroe), whom Curtis falls in love with. He proceeds to disguise himself as a millionaire to win her over, while Daphne is unwillingly romanced by Osgood, another millionaire. It's very zany, very clever, wonderfully witty – and its final scene is its best. Joe reveals himself to Sugar, who loves him anyway, while Osgood and the still-disguised Jerry escape in a boat. Jerry reveals “herself ” to Osgood -

Jerry: Osgood, I'm gonna level with you. We can't get married at all. Osgood: Why not? Jerry: Well, in the first place, I'm not a natural blonde. Osgood: Doesn't matter. Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time! Osgood: I don't care. Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a

saxophone player.

Osgood: I forgive you. Jerry: [Tragically] I can never have children! Osgood: We can adopt some. Jerry: But you don't understand, Osgood! [Pulls off wig] Jerry: I'm a man! Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect!

And they ride off into the sunset. End scene. What a perfect close.

Movie Poster of the Month The Shining

In a time when all you need to incite your viewers to go watch your horror film is a dark poster, white/red Times New Roman pt. 20 and perhaps an ill-placed flare brush, the original poster for Kubrick's The Shining looks pretty good, focusing as it does on one singular scene in the film: Jack Torrance's "Here's Johnny" moment. Sure, it's pretty clinical, but then again, Kubrick was a pretty clinical guy. That's why the Polish version works so well – it takes that singular scene and hacks (heh heh) it down even further – here we just get the screaming face of Wendy on the other side of that door. In her fear, every feature of her face is frozen and crystallised in this magnificent poster: her pale skin, too-large eyes, lank hair. I like this one because it's particularly subtle, and also because I, too, think the scariest thing about The Shining is Shelley Duvall's face.

Previews

Entertainments

Have you tried turning your Submarine off and on again? orla hodnett previews richard ayoade’s upcoming movie, submarine

Our beloved Maurice Moss (from Channel 4’s The IT Crowd) has only gone and made a film. Possibly jealous of Chris O’ Dowd’s (Roy’s) success in Hollywood films, such as Dinner for Schmucks and Katharine Parkinson’s (Jen’s)…um, Malteasers ads, Richard Ayoade’s directorial debut, the coming-of-age comedy, Submarine, comes out this March. This is Ayoade’s first foray into directing a full-length feature, his previous directing experience seen in television series Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace and in various music videos for the likes of Vampire Weekend (all of which have been rather excellent). The film was recently screened at Toronto International Film Festival as well as the Dublin International Film Festival, with much praise for the first-time film director. So how will Submarine fare? Well, all indications would suggest magnificently. The film, based on Joe Dunthorne’s novel of the same name (touted as “the greatest coming-of age story since Catcher in the Rye”), deals with the trials and tribulations of misguided, Max Fischer-esque, fifteen year-old Welshman, Oliver Tate. The primary cast is made up of young newcomers: our hero, Oliver Tate is played by Craig Roberts and his first love, Jordana, portrayed by Yasmin Paige. Other more well known faces from the British film scene also star, including Paddy Considine (In America) as a hippy life coach, who tries to seduce our protagonist’s mother (portrayed by An Education’s Sally Hawkins), and Oliver’s dad is played by Noah Taylor, who not-so-long-ago played the father of Charlie Bucket in Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

his first solo effort proper, are quite lovely and tie with the whole ambience of the film well. Turner wrote five original tracks for the film, among them Hiding Tonight and Stuck on the Puzzle, all of which seem to match the leisurely, gentle pace of the film. Recently released clips and trailers promise a pretty unique viewing experience. The trailer, back-dropped by some ambient French music, clearly introduces the core components of Oliver Tate’s world (as well as the offbeat comic nature of the film): a pyromaniac girlfriend, the ‘storm and stress’ of adolescence, the breakdown of his parents’ relationship, with a little aside reminding us of the dignity of the film industry (“It’s really rude to leave a film before its finished” “To who?” “The film makers” “How are they going to know?” “They just do…” “How?” “They do!”).

From what I have seen, promotion around the film has been limited, but has been greatly hyped nonetheless. Comparisons have been made between Ayoade and greats such as Wes Anderson and Jean- Luc Godard, because of his pace, style and attention to detail. It would seem that an air of delightful creepiness seems to come across from all of the promotional material for the film. Ayoade seems to have captured the awkward, humorous self-consciousness of the protagonist excellently.

The most well known faces tied to the film are behind the camera, with Ben Stiller acting as executive producer (apparently he’s a big Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace fan) and Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys writing a number of songs for the film. Though Stiller is apparently confused as to how he came to read the script of Submarine or, indeed, how he became involved at all, he is highly complimentary of Ayoade’s film, describing him as “annoyingly talented.” Alex Turner and Richard Ayoade were already an established collaborative duo, with Ayoade directing Arctic Monkey’s recent live DVD. Turner’s tracks, which happen to be

All things considered, Submarine promises to be an extremely original piece of cinema. Ayoade is one of the most talented British comic writers and actors working today, so anyone who is familiar with his work is well aware of his capacity for brilliance. With any film hyped by the critics, as this film has been, there is some degree of caution among audiences, but I cannot help but be enthusiastic about this film. Considering it has not even got as far as cinema release, hopefully I’m not being premature in saying Ayoade’s endearing new take on the coming-of-age tale is real reason for excitement.

Reviews

adam dinan finds clint eastwood’s hereafter a little over-subtle for his liking. Clint Eastwood’s Hereafter is an understated film about a delicate topic. In fact, it is so understated that it risks misleading much of the audience as to its intentions and implications, and frustrating the rest of us in the process. The central theme, unsurprisingly, is that of the eponymous afterlife. Eastwood threads a set of stories based around the primal desire for the great beyond and the human longing to communicate with those who have passed away. Everything we see is wholly suggestive and ambiguous, never committing to the reality (or lack thereof ) of the characters’ observations, instead assuming that it is enough for us not to know or care whether an underlying truth is to be found in the characters’ shared sufferings and experiences. Following in the vein of multi-stranded movies such as 2004’s Crash, the disparate subplots in Hereafter are brought together by a combination of chance and necessity (read: destiny?). Marie (Cecile de France) is a French television journalist who suffers a near-death experience as she almost drowns during a devastating tsunami, before being resuscitated; George (Matt Damon) is a middle-aged man who, so far as we can tell, genuinely considers himself able to communicate with the dead; and Marcus (Frankie McLaren) loses his twin brother Jason (George McLaren) to a car accident. Despite what we might expect given the overarching theme, there are hardly any remarkable events depicted for which we would have to lose our preconceptions.

Near death experiences commonly result in reports of white light and a sense of peacefulness, and presumably there are at least some psychics who sincerely believe in their claims. We don’t have to accept anything out of the ordinary to buy into this story. Equally, there is no major plot resolution to which we are led; the characters move slowly and inexorably towards one another without any real drama or event beyond the mundane reality of having to deal with the consequences of human mortality. Nothing is forced upon us, it is enough that the characters have genuine motivations and emotions. Peter Morgan, who wrote the screenplay, has stated that he does not believe in life after death. He didn’t need to in order to pen this story, because it’s irrelevant. The film doesn’t purport to demonstrate the otherworldly; instead impressing the view that the here-and-now is remarkable in its own right. In this sense Eastwood has made a subtly intelligent—if deceiving—picture. But in its lack of definite rhyme or reason, it fails to captivate us by committing itself, and it fails to excite us with a narrative that poses few questions and delivers even fewer answers. There is such a thing as too subtle. Rating: 7/10

Inception: sleeping easy?

as we look towards this summer’s prospective hits, paul o’ connor has some strong feelings on last summer’s. The best way to describe the reaction to the truly execrable film that is Inception is to compare it to a self fulfilling prophecy. When the Soviet Army crossed the Vistula in 1945, many ethnic Germans living in areas east of Germany desperately fled their homes in hopes of reaching mainland Germany before the Russians. Their desperate scramble was fuelled by their own fear of actual atrocities committed by the advancing Red Army, but also by their own Nazi government’s propaganda which was actually intended to stiffen these Germans’ resolve to resist the invasion. Alas, the horrific nature of these atrocities used as a propaganda tool merely induced panic and many of these retreating ethnic Germans became subject to these atrocities themselves when the fast moving Red Army units caught up with these refugees. In this case the atrocity is merely a Hollywood film. The groundwork for this self fulfilling prophecy was laid months before the film’s release, with a trailer that genuinely suggested something intelligent and challenging would be forthcoming

from the director of Memento and The Prestige. Instead, we got a monumentally simple and dull film which looked as though it had been directed by Michael Bay. The teaser trailer was specifically designed to echo or evoke the complex and labyrinthine structure of both Memento and The Prestige. This theory was re-enforced by a visit to the film’s official website in search of more information which only showed a constantly spinning top. This provocative and mysterious approach could easily be construed as pretentious or hollow unless the film itself delivered on its rather arch notions. Another trope employed by the director/ film executives was to ‘keep the plot secret’ and reveal as little as possible in the trailer. It would seem film goers’ expectations for summer releases has reached an all time low if they are receptive to equating secrecy with brilliant film-making. Proof that substantiates this theory is steeped in the aforementioned marketing tactics of the film, whereby they convinced most people that showing little amounted to a lot even

though the actual film turned out to be the trailer itself; it was an inspired if insidious marketing strategy. By constantly re-enforcing the idea that this film is special and unlike 90% of movies, which are merely their trailers, the audience believed Inception was a great film before entering the cinema. How else could a film get away with a few cheap looking action set pieces glued together with insipid dialogue such as ‘this is my last job’ or ‘we must stop Cillian Murphy before he or his company becomes an energy super-power’ or some other such drivel? Above all this trash, above the mind numbingly boring and simple storyline, the laughable dialogue, Ellen Page, and prosaic action set pieces, spins that incessant top – like some over-wound toy ballerina tossed atop the flotsam of some wrecked garbage scow with the goddamn seagulls following close behind in the hope of some sardines.

Entertainments

Une vraiment cinéphile mae mcsweeney goes all francophone while

taking a look at the cork french film festival

For the past 22 years, Alliance Francaise de Cork have presented the Cork French Film Festival, and this year’s showing was the biggest and most impressive to date. Running from the 6th to the 13th of March, CFFF incorporated dozens of film screenings with workshops, audio-visuals and cine-concerts. As Nicolas Saada, director of Spy(ies) told the audience in a Q-and-A after the films Irish premier on the 11th, culture and the arts in recessionary Ireland still hold a lot of value, which is sadly lacking across Europe (especially in France). So as Corkonions (I’m never comfortable with that term, it looks far too much like onions from Cork), the CFFF is a vibrant celebration of intercultural cinema and art, and I can only hope that this past week’s offerings can be matched or bettered next year. I can admit that I’ve never been particularly au fait (chortle) with French Cinema, or even ‘World Cinema’, which is really just a horribly condescending blanket term for non-Anglophone cinema, loaded with lazy connotations of art-house wackiness, often viewed as overindulgent hipster fare. But perceived notions of snobbery or artistic superiority shouldn’t matter when one is offered a such a wide range of genre and style, from the classic Boudu Saved From Drowning, in which an irrepressible down-and-out anarchist is rescued by a bourgeois Parisian family, to the visionary director Gaspar Noè’s Enter The Void, a provocative life-after-death exploration of sex, drugs, life and living.

for students, screenings had a distinctly classy feel. CFFF volunteers escorted patrons to their seats, and a few of the films, such as Spy(ies) and Other Worlds, were presented to the audience by the actual director, who would answer questions in a discussion afterwards. Apart from film screenings, which took place mainly in the Gate Cinema, budding film-makers could partake in a master-class with Agnes Varda, one of the most influential proponents of the New Wave movement. Varda offered a unique perspective as a filmmaker – she produced her 1954 debut La Pointe Courte with a background in photography and effectively no training or experience of cinematography. Films such as Cleo From 5 to 7 produce a disquieting effect of existentialist claustrophobia and feminist self-consciousness without the heavy-handedness you might expect. To hear her speak on her individualistic approach to film-making, managing to remain an intensely personal while providing a subtle social commentary, was sincerely inspiring. French animation company Cartoon Saloon, who were responsible for Oscar-nominated Secret of Kells, ran a master class explaining the importance of early design concepts behind their animations and how these basic ideas are expanded upon. Participants also got a sneak-peak of Tomm Moore’s new feature Song of the Sea, which is still in development.

The Pavilion hosted some delightful audio-visuals, and Saturday night saw digital artist Guillermo Carrion collaborating with nanotechnician Lionel Palun to create a stunning improvised live performance by filtering video through custom designed software, full of visual rhythms and textural explorations. The Varda retrospective continued with an exhibition of her video installations and art photography in the Wandesford Quay Gallery. Varda’s poignant and stark use of broken-glass imagery resonated with me – one of the installations is a cracked mirror in which the viewer can contemplate his or her shattered reflection. Many of the pieces were created especially for this exhibition, which is still running, incidentally, until April 2nd. There’s no entrance fee and the Wandesford Quay Gallery isn’t far from UCC – if you’re walking down Western Road towards town, cross the bridge by Fine Wines, you’ll see the limestone building on the corner across from Frank Clark Ltd – yes, in there! © indiewire You’d be going to town anyway, probably about to waste all your pocket money on jelly beans or glitter or whatever. Save your pennies Some of the more obscure of these cinematic gems can be quite for Paddy’s and give Agnes a sconce. hard to trace down on the internet, and it’s almost impossible to find a version with English subtitles, so there’s added incentive to catch From learned cine-buff to folk who are even slightly jaded of them while you can, on the Big Screen – ah yes, remember cinemas? formulaic Hollywood fare, the 22nd Cork French Film Festival offered Come on, Pokémon: The Movie 2000? You started crying at the end a programme of events that catered for all movie-goers and general when Pikachu was dead? And then everyone laughed at your tears patrons of the arts. If you missed out on it this year, I highly recommend and you vowed never to enter a movie theatre again… well, I know you catch them next time! Alliance Francaise will be looking out for I did. It is nice to get away from the pop-ups and spam and the ever- volunteers, who are paid with delicious passes to all the fun stuff lurking threat of a failed download that plagues the laptop experience that’s hardly volunteering at all! Au revoir, CFFF, à bientot. of films. Although tickets were reasonably priced, with discounts

JAWS: Dun dun... daniel kiniry reviews the original summer blockbuster The summer blockbuster is kind of a timehonoured tradition so engraved into film culture that it feels like it’s as old as cinema. It actually had its origins, surprisingly enough, in a film that made everyone afraid to go into the water (so THAT was Hollywood’s game plan…).

builds up to one), the characters are very nuanced and interesting, and I cannot pick a single bad performance from the lot. It’s surprisingly gory, but not enough so to get away from the PG rating (which is a blessing for this movie’s gross margin, a curse for five year olds who wanted to swim that summer). Spielberg deliberately leaves out any use of red in the movie beyond the

Now, when we think of blockbuster, we think big explosions, thinly-layered, fast paced plot chock full of action, fun and wackiness abound. When we think of Jaws, we think of sharks, and how dangerous, unpredictable, and awesome they are! So I was surprised revisiting this film how surprisingly low-key it is, especially with the knowledge of how massively it affected the industry and created this very action-based trend. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still well-paced, has a lot of great action set-pieces regarding shark attacks, and nearly the entire third act is an action beat, but it really does take © universal pictures its time with its story. The characters, in particular the incredible leads, really do carry the film (along with, y’know, the shark). I was amazed by watching them, and seeing how well-written they are. No caricatures, no clichés or stock characters, they really did feel like real people, and it added a lot of weight to what was happening down at Amity. You don’t feel like they’re props to be killed one by one (a problem with a lot of films in the horror/thriller genre), but instead get greatly concerned for their safety, and when something happens to them it hits you a lot harder. Even though it’s a straightforward adventure movie (or

blood, and it really works. The deaths in the movie really stick to you, particularly the first attack on the beach at daytime. Not only is the tension and suspense taken up to 90 for it (my favourite scene in terms of film technique, it’s amazingly shot and edited), the gore when something finally happens is palpable, and really pays off the buildup. It’s seems almost juvenile to praise this movie on its gore factor, but a movie about a shark terrorizing a beach needs that kind of weight on it to make it stick to you, and this movie has it in spades. Or whatever you find in a tiger shark’s stomach.

The suspense is amazing in this movie. The movie really keeps you on its toes, knows how to freak you out so easily and makes you worried about events even when you already know what happens. This is in no small order to, of course, it’s legendary score. This score is so immensely effective – it’s up there with the violin screech in Psycho with how ingrained into the social conscious it is. It will forever be associated with the arrival of terror and dread, and that’s in no small part to how the film presents its threat. The shark is rarely seen, which was a good move on Spielberg’s part. It gives it more of a sense of awe and mystery, like the ocean is attacking these people rather than the shark itself (it also saves people from seeing how famously fake the model shark look). There’s an amazing feeling of tension and fear, and most of all a sense of you really don’t know what’s going to happen next, something most films in the future will not be able to pull of as effectively. Jaws will go down in history as the original summer blockbuster, but more importantly will be remembered for its own entity. As it should, as it’s a great film, rightfully remembered as a classic, excellently written, highly suspenseful, fun, interesting, effortlessly entertaining and best of all has an amazing staying power. I’ve loved this movie since I was 8 years old, and that feeling when I watch it will never die out. So don’t bother waiting for the summer, just watch it now! I just hope you don’t plan to go swimming anytime after, though…

Entertainments

Disney, you disappoint me brian byrne reminisces the good ol’ days of disney Like every kid of the ’90s, my childhood comprised three things: Pokémon, penny sweets and Disney. While the former two are still decidedly awesome, the latter has declined so far into sheer crappiness that I just have to ask: what the hell happened? The Lion King (1994) was the first film I ever saw in the cinema. I had just turned 5, and, although I was too much of a youngling to understand what was going on, I still recall being mesmerised by the whole thing. Looking back, all I can really remember are the bright colours and the fact that my sister was bawling. But damn, that movie was amazing.

The Lion King was my first foray into the Disney empire and succeeded in cementing my love for the studio forever more. It had everything Disney is famous for: an epic story, fully realised characters, comedy,

in 2006 by buying the perpetually awesome Pixar. When I learned of the acquisition I was terrified: how could Pixar, a studio with a perfect track record, allow itself to be tainted The aforementioned film is part of what by Disney, a studio that hadn’t released is now termed The Disney Renaissance, a anything worth watching period of time when Disney could do no since ten years before? Alas, it was ok: wrong. Running from the late 1980s to the while Disney would oversee all projects, late 1990s, releases included classics like creative control would remain in the hands Beauty and the Beast (1991), Aladdin (1992), of Pixar. For the last few years I had entirely and Pocahontas (1995). Every one of these forgotten about Disney. An endless string films are widely regarded as Disney’s finest. of disappointment had left me with little In particular, Beauty and the Beast, which faith in the company, and I moved on to many believe to be the best thing Disney has bigger and better things, namely the studio ever done, was the first animated film ever to mentioned five or six times in the previous be nominated the Best Picture paragraph. at the Oscars. And then 2011 came. And with it, a The Disney Renaissance movie so brilliant it has undone much of came to an end in 1999 with the irritation brought on in the noughties: the release of Tarzan. This Tangled. Based on Rapunzel, Tangled retells was the moment when Disney the classic tale in a witty and exciting way. began its long-lasting decline; But it’s not just that. I can’t quite put my when it turned from sacred to finger on it, but Tangled has succeeded shit. Sure, Tarzan was great, in recapturing the magic classic Disney but nothing beyond this has features boast. That may be down to the fact really wowed me since. Well, that the movie cost a staggering $260 million one has, but we’ll get to that to make, but perhaps the people at Disney later. have rediscovered something they had for such a long time lost. Maybe, just maybe, the The 2000s, as far as I’m Disney we all know and once loved is back. concerned, is when Disney lost the respect Hopefully, the studio’s next release doesn’t it took all those years to instil. Atlantis: The prove Tangled to be nothing more than a Lost Empire? Crap. Treasure Planet? Crap. diamond in the roughest of the rough. Home on the Range? Crap! To add insult to horror, and sentiment. Not to mention a killer soundtrack, much of which today resides in my iTunes collection.

injury, the company tried to save its own ass

Staying In? Rent for a Night... Last Tango in Paris Ooh-er, I hear you say. Isn't that the film where Marlon Brando, you know, butter... and... stuff ? Yes, yes – it is, but thankfully that scene is pretty short and not as gross as you may think. Last Tango in Paris is a pretty heartbreaking film if you approach it with a mature and open mind, and it's definitely worth a few bob to rent it out for the night. It's the story of two strangers, a widower and an engaged younger woman, who meet in an empty room in Paris and have nameless and

mind-blowing sex. Although they promise to not reveal anything of themselves to the other, it's inevitable, and they begin to develop feelings for each other. Bertolucci's film is sultry and sexy, with an incredible saxophone soundtrack, some pretty disturbing imagery and yes, OK, lots of sex. Marlon Brando is outstanding. Catch it if you can.

Music

Radiohead: The King of Limbs © radiohead

adam el araby gives radiohead’s latest album a practiced spin Radiohead have never been ones to do things traditionally. The King of Limbs, their follow-up to 2007’s In Rainbows, was announced in February and released less than a week later to the surprise of fans and critics alike. Abandoning In Rainbows’ trendsetting name-your-price strategy in favour of a €7 digital edition, to be followed in May by what has been dubbed the world’s first ‘Newspaper Album’: a deluxe 2-vinyl edition accompanied by sheets of large artwork, Radiohead are once again experimenting with new ways to deliver their music. Having publicly disowned the standard album format several times in recent years, it’s not too surprising that King of Limbs sits somewhere between an EP and a full record. Its 37-minute playtime, spread across 8 tracks, is ostensibly slight but the work has a depth and complexity that rewards repeat listening. Like much of Radiohead’s oeuvre, it doesn’t reveal itself willingly. What initially sounds sparse and simplistic unfolds to reveal a complex soundscape that branches in myriad directions like the ancient tree from which the album draws its name.

Sonically, King of Limbs is closest to the electronic experimentation of Kid A and Hail to the Thief, and even Thom Yorke’s solo project The Eraser. Fans of Johnny Greenwood’s pioneering guitar work will be disappointed by its scarcity here. Instead, the focus falls on the rhythm section. A mixture of electronic and analoguepercussion steers the sound with off-balance rhythms that draw their influence from around the world, augmented by digital manipulation. Opening track ‘Bloom’ recalls Thom Yorke’s guest appearance on Flying Lotus’ Cosmogramma with stripped-down spacious strings. On ‘Feral’, Yorke’s voice is choppedup beyond recognition while a frenetic dubstep beat fires behind him like a machine gun.Lead single ‘Lotus Flower’, is the most traditional and accessible track on the album thanks to a familiar chorus-driven structure. ‘Give up the Ghost’, combines acoustic guitars with nature samples to create the album’s most organic offering – a folk ballad than enchants with a delicate and beautiful melody. Similarly, ‘Codex’, a gentle piano

ballad, relies heavily on Yorke’s voice as the track slowly builds with restrained strings. The King of Limbs works best as a sign of where Radiohead stands creatively at the moment, and as a hint to their future direction. While it doesn’t offer the radical musical paradigm shift many have come to expect from new Radiohead releases, it is a worthy entry in their superlative catalogue. Long-time fans may be disappointed by the seeming lack of ambition here, but, ultimately, The King of Limbs’ importance will only become apparent when viewed through the lens of what comes next from Radiohead.

Walking Around in our Summertime Clothes... kevin o’ neill prepares his summer playlist The above quote comes from Animal Collective’s fantastic ‘Summertime Clothes’ from the mind-boggling Merriweather Post Pavilion album. The song, quite accurately, portrays the sheer discomfort of excessive heat in the summer – the opening verse, in particular, dealing with leaking foreheads and a pool in the bed of singer Noah Lennox. At least we should hope this is sweat from the heat... It is apt, I feel, because I’m having trouble coming up with a summer playlist. It is March after all and, strangely enough, I am adamant that I saw a flurry of snowflakes earlier. Summery, eh? Perhaps we’d best © xl put this article aside until the exams are out of the way? Of course, It is tough to pick one – Entertainment Weekly implores that we by then the majority of our good weather will surely have passed us by and we’ll be staring at clouds, thinking that Radiohead’s ‘Exit omit ‘Good Vibrations’ from any list as it was a number one hit in Music’ is a much more accurate soundtrack for the day than say Alice the height of winter – the rest make the case for themselves. Choose anything from ‘California Girls’, ‘Let’s Go Surfin’’, ‘Sloop John B’ and Cooper’s ‘School’s Out’ or the Surfaris’‘Wipe Out’. even ‘I Get Around’ for the frivolous among us. The easy way to start off this playlist, it seems, is to look squarely at the Beach Boys. No summer playlist is complete without at least one From here, however, it gets a little tricky. Of course it all comes down entry from Brian Wilson and co., and I demand upwards of a dozen to taste – you say “Black Eyed Peas”, I say “hand me the shotgun”. to make it fair. I typed the word ‘summer’ into my iTunes and the Through no fault of their own, Vampire Weekend have epitomised 96 tracks that showed up instantly included Fight Like Apes’ ‘Jake Summers’, Adrian Crowley’s ‘Summer Haze Parade’ (possibly the the modern indie summer sound – with the Paul Simon style bounce least summery song to grace the planet), Avi Buffalo’s ‘Summer Cum’ to the tracks and the Afro-beat fused indie anthems,‘A-Punk’, ‘Cape (it’s about exactly what you think it might be with a title like that), Cod Kwassa Kwassa’ and ‘Holiday’ all scream summer (though that Yeasayer’s ‘Wait for the Summer’, the entire Summerteeth album last one in particular is an odd choice seeing as it is written about the Gulf War.).. from Wilco and no less than 29 Beach Boys tracks.

>>Continued on page 23

Entertainments

Offensive? Maybe a little andy o'mahoney takes us track-by-track through does it offend you yeah!?'s most recent offering “Move out of my way ‘cause I’m coming through again” proclaims a very angry James Rushnet. Followed by a marching beat of drums and vicious rips of synthesizer, thus marks the return of Does it Offend You Yeah?! from their two year hiatus. If you missed this band the first time around, then get ready for a band that likes to vary their music as much as Gaga does her wardrobe. And god, that’s a lot. Let’s take it track-by-track.

1. The opening track of “We Are The Dead” begins with a melodic

6. The following track “Wrong Time, Wrong Planet” doesn’t sound like it would be too far removed from a Muse album and it’s nice to able to hear James Rushnet show us some of his singing chops. It’s a beautiful track that hits you with some rough sounding drums and guitar before floating off on an otherworldly synth.

7. What can I say about “Wrestler” that this song can’t say for itself ? This is a song designed to party to and I can see it becoming a favourite of (cool) clubs too. With samples of an angry wrestler shouting “Fuck you, you’re wrong. Fuck you, we’re right”, I can’t help but grin when I hear this.

guitar picking before breaking down into a full bouncy rave out. It’s a slow builder that cumulates into that “HELL YEAH” feeling of wanting to dance and throw the person nearest you around. Interjec8. “Wondering” features alternative rapper Trip taking over as tions of quietness give the song a nice juxtaposition of calm and singer, with samplings of Massive Attack’s Nicolette Suwoton filling napalm. out the chorus. An intensely foreboding track that features brilliant © almost gold lyrics like “Holy Jihads Batman, someone should do something!” and the orchestral chorus brings the song into a truly epic take of it’s own.

9. The penultimate track “The Knife” isn’t nearly as experimental or intriguing as most of the album - but what it lacks in wow factor it more than makes up for being just a catchy song. With a choir chorus supporting the song at the end and a catchy bass beat underlying it all, it’s the kind of radio friendly song that you could dance around in your seat to.

10. The last song “Broken Arms” brings a calmness with a more

2. The following song “John Hurt” is the one I mentioned in the opening. This is one that really grows on you, it’s so viscerally assaulting that the first few times you hear it you feel like the band is really living up to their name. A beautifully destructive breakdown that I’m completely smitten by happens after the second verse, reminiscent of the destructiveness of Nirvana. This is the #1 song I want to see them play live; possibly while quite intoxicated.

acoustic feel to it than the rest of the album. Slightly depressing in nature, it shows the band isn’t afraid to get a bit mellow. Although it’s not anything of particular amazingness, I feel it rounds off the album nicely.

Awful Album Art of the Month © starline

* Disappointment comes in the form of song three, “Pull Out My Insides”. I can’t really think where this happy-go-lucky song fits into the overall album, it seems to be an alternate path the band could have taken after the first album but have relegated it to this song. By no means bad, just pretty forgettable.

4. “Yeah!” is the first real sign of genius in the album. An initially circus-beat instrumental begs the question “Have you heard this before?” - and I don’t think we’ve heard anything quite like it. Sirens guide you through synths and guitars fighting for dominance of the song before it erupts into a full-scale war of epic proportions. It’s honed down to perfection with it culminating with something altogether magical. Possibly my favourite track on the album!

What I like best about this cover is the suggestion that there is, in fact, a wide repertoire of Singing Postman songs to choose from.

Admittedly, I am normally one for musical doom and gloom, so it takes one seriously bubbly melody to make me temporarily switch off my Leonard Cohen. That said, music has an incredible ability to turn that frown upside down! So the following (sometimes less conventional) collection of happy songs, is my guide to turning a shitty situation into a musical epiphany (possible side effects include delirious happiness and heavenly hallucinations)!

boys’ song: eagles of death metal – don’t speak (i came to make a bang!) The strut home begins (assuming things weren’t so rough that strutting is a temporarily disabled function). This song is a well deserved pat on the back; enjoy it before the hangover kicks in!

>>Walking around in our summertime clothes continued from page 20 Yeasayer also entered this territory on their most recent album, the likes of ‘Ambling Alp’, ‘Madder Red’ and ‘O.N.E.’ equally as infectious and danceable as anything released by cohorts MGMT. From here, read anything in the vein of Avi Buffalo (youthful indie upstarts write their own sex-obsessed surf-rock sound), Surfer Blood, Two Door Cinema Club, Sufjan Stevens’ ‘Chicago’, Phoenix, the Morning Benders, Hot Chip and, of course, the idyllic Friendly Fires with ‘Jump in the Pool’. That is, of course, assuming that you are spending your summer frolicking in a swimming pool, drinking and enjoying the (lack of )

sunshine. You may actually be more inclined to sit around and wallow, waiting for a return to college, studies and misery. If this is the case, then please: Radiohead, Adrian Crowley, Tindersticks, Bauhaus, Leonard Cohen. That said, if I glance out the window now it’s not the sun that I see, but a medley of brooding dark clouds and puddles all over the road – the true signs of an Irish summer. Maybe the Coral’s ‘In the Rain’, Bright Eyes’ ‘Spent on Rainy Days’ and even the Stunning’s ‘Brewing Up A Storm’ are more apt.

Local

Entertainments

Siobhan Meehan

local@motley.ie

UCC LMS battle of the bands the final of the lms battle of the bands takes place this wednesday in cyprus avenue, kevin curran gives a quick run through of the bands battling for ucc’s most prestigious crown.

The Reverse was the first band into the final. They started as Corr Mona managed to upset the odds in heat 4 when they a two piece acoustic act but have now added drums and bass to create a full band sound. The band fronted by Sean McKeown and Richard O’Gorman play a fusion of acoustic indie rock. They are probably one of the tightest bands in the final with well written and well played songs. Their easy listening approach is what had the judges and crowd buzzing back in February.

Gatchaiocht

are a 6 piece funk and blues band who are making a name from themselves around Cork. The band whose name which comes from the Irish term for “Bravado” do their name justice during their performances where they often improvise and play solo with little planning. This relaxed approach to structure is what makes the band great as their songs are often interesting and intriguing. Fronted by a female vocalist Christiana Underwood the band bring a very soulful attitude to the competition.

The winner of the 3rd heat are probably one of the most intriguing bands you will see around Cork. (pronounced the French way) are quite strange, their lead singer wears a gasmask on stage and during the heats entered the crowd to administer hugs to the audience. Their on stage antics may be odd but they back them up by playing interesting psychedelia/ post rock that is a little mesmerising to watch. Une Pipe is one of the newest bands in the final but certainly not to be counted out.

came through a very tough heat to come out on top. They are also one of the more interesting bands in the final, playing a brand of alternative rock and metal which is very melodic and layered. To add to this they sing their vocals through ancient Irish which is quite hard to visualise unless you see them live.

Goldfish Syndrome,

The final band in the final, is probably the most experienced band in the final with several large supports and EP releases in the bands history. Goldfish Syndrome wowed the crowd in the wildcards with their brand of melodic alt rock that showcases lead singer James Walsh’s great vocals and song writing.

Une Pipe

UCC Live Music Society Battle of The Bands Final takes place on Wednesday, March 23rd in Cyprus Avenue. Doors open at 8.30pm and admission is €5

Books

John Murphy

Into the books and who can tell what’s waiting on your journey? john murphy will be your guide this reading to the somefantastic tourist destinations

ave you ever thought of visiting the world a book is set in? If not, perhaps it’s time you deliberated. What clothes to bring with you is not that important, but it is crucial is to understand the place and its inhabitants – where to go, who to avoid, and how toconduct yourself. Here is a guide to some of the more fashionable realms you may consider to visit. The Chronicles of Narnia (C.S. Lewis): If there is snow billowing out of your wardrobe, you’ve got a door to Narnia, my friend. Bring a warm jacket, some spare casual clothing, and take your time to view the sights – time works differently here, so it’s the ideal place to catch up on your reading. You should know not to take treats from the White Witch. She is a stranger. A lion called Aslan may materialise and convince you to save the world, addressing you throughout his proposal as a “son of Adam” or a “daughter of Eve”. Souvenirs include a miniature lamp post (subject to availability, batteries not included). Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling): Running at the wall between platforms nine and ten at King’s Cross Station is obligatory for first-timers to this world. Be advised that laptops, mobiles, and other features of modern technology will not work in the wizarding world, so contact to distant people will have to be exchanged by things called ‘letters’ (postage by owl). Journalists and designers may wish to talk to the Daily Prophet newspaper about design tips and

adding moving pictures to accompany their pieces. Avoid people with a tattoo on their left arms depicting a serpent protruding from the mouth of a skull, and, on a lonely night, ifsome cloaked beings are moving in for a kiss and you start feeling depressed, it would be best if you politely declined. Trust me, that relationship wouldn’t work out for you. Robinson Crusoe (Daniel Defoe): Well, there are worse things than staring at the water on a Sunday.A fresh start awaits you on an island, where you can start your own civilisation; build your own empire, recruit some slaves, and be King and Lord of land and sea.I heard that Crusoe is leaving Friday, so now might be a good time to visit (see what I did there?).

Evelina (Frances Burney): A world where social status is everything.Lavishattire, women dressing their hair with powder, black pins, and a cushion, extravagant and convoluted sentences, and the unquestioned conformity to strict social orders and behaviour – it is, of course, eighteenth century London. Equip yourself with phrases such as “my dear sir!” and use the exclamation “oh!” periodically. Ladies, there will be a kerfuffle if you are alone with a gentleman in private, or if you refuse to choose to dance with one person and not another – concealing your wishes is paramount to a successful night at one of the many balls. If you feel that you’re having trouble fitting in, just proclaim your hatred for the French. Extensively.

The Lord of the Rings (J.R.R. Tolkien): Middle-earth certainly seems to be thepopular tourist destination at the moment.If you happen to stumble across an alluring golden ring which will change size to fit perfectly on your finger, Sauron’s eye will start stalking you. Just don’t provoke it into a game of hide and seek, because he’ll send the nine Nazgûl to sniff you out (who are certainly not to be messed with). Whilst searching for a hiding place, if you encounter a demon-like creature of flames and darkness (a Balrog) in the depths of a colossal mine, run for it. If you happen to have a wizard handy, he might be able to buy you some time. If the wizard dies in the attempt and someone decides to renew his contract, he may even return to you in different coloured robes – a promotion of sorts. All in all, Middle-earth is not a bad place to be – I must say, Saruman throws a killer party.

Now that you are prepared for your journey, just remember one thing: you got yourself into the book, so it’s up to you to figure a way out. Enjoy your holiday!

Entertainments

cathal malone recommends some golden oldies to put on your reading list Summer approaches with every crisp, clear, morning spent skipping lectures on the still-damp grass of the President’s Garden. As it does, there are the inevitable plans being made; organising J1s and the inter-railing passes. Regardless of where you end up, though, there is the question of what you’ll be reading. Many of us are guilty of intending, every summer without fail, to read one or more of the ‘classics,’ and, yet, we end up back at the start of a new college year without so much as having glanced at Joyce or Hemingway. In that vein, and without getting into the age-old argument of what qualifies as a ‘classic,’ this writer presents a few of the oldies but goodies that you might like to pop into the bag on your way to Cancún or Cincinnati. Just because these guys are dead and gone doesn’t mean that their work has lost the power to move, to titillate, or to entertain.

The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald): Some of you will be groaning that this is too obvious a choice. F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Jazz-Age novel does sometimes seem to suffer from the © wordsworth classic affliction of being too universally revered for its own good – this, though, shouldn’t stop you from dipping into what is quite a short firework of a read at less than 200 pages in my Penguin edition. A story of love, deceit and hollowness,the tale is, for me, a contender for the title of ‘Great American Novel.’ T.S. Eliot famously said that Gatsby marked “the first step that American fiction has taken since Henry James.”It showcases a sparkling self-awareness, given its rooting in the excesses and monumental pretence of the circles in which the Fitzgerald’s moved, and with not a little humour tingeing the sadness between the covers. And, at the end of the day, this writer struggles to dislike any man who penned the immortal words “I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.”To be read in New York, mint julep in hand, for greatest effect.

*Recommended Read*

The Singularity Is Near: When Humans Transcend Biology – Ray Kurzweil A book that should be revered as pure genius or relegated to the depths of madness? Only (a short amount of ) time will tell. Its author, Ray Kurzweil, has been claimed to be the next Thomas Edison as he has been successfully predicting technological epochs and trends since the eighties. The main idea is that we all be living in virtual cyberspace sans organic bodies within 20 years – and it's presented with such © viking factual dedication and foresight that it will leave you wondering what is possible in our lifetimes. "The Transcendent Man", a documentary following Kurzweil and his breakthrough ideas, is also released later this month.

For Ésme – With Love and Squalor, and Other Stories (J.D. Salinger): In a way this is cheating, since it’s actually a collection of nine short stories by the author of that bible of adolescent angst, The Catcher in the Rye. All the same, these tales capture something of the spirit of Americana which also appears in the work of Fitzgerald, and I surely get bonus points for having something like a rough theme in my choices. The collection definitely workswell as an ensemble, and not just as standalone pieces bound together for the sake of cost-effectiveness, which has © penguin become the disappointing norm in the short-story business. The title story is poignant almost to the point of being mawkish, but something in the austerity and awareness of the writing pulls it back. A wartime setting and the introduction of a charming and precocious little girl always had the potential to be either brilliant or terrible, and Salinger manages brilliance, with flair, in the eyes of this scribbler. That story provides an interesting contrast with what might be the best in the collection, A Perfect Day for Bananafish. Alternately absurd and profound, this recounting of a married couple’s day on holiday at the beach is underlined with a thoroughly macabre sense of humour which sits uneasily with the dénoument of the tale. All told, these gems are literary holiday reading at their best, in that they are short enough to be consumed on a train ride, but engaging enough to leave their mark on you, even when the last of the sangria has been drained and you’re coming home, lobster-red.

Moby-Dick, or The Whale (Herman Melville): Probably the first book to have been in contention for the previously-referenced accolade of ‘Great American Novel’,this story of a man, driven to the brink of madness while chasing a dream, is timeless and surprisingly readable for a book now in its 160th year. The symbolism in the novel is obvious at times, but the difficulty can be in defining exactly what the metaphor of chasing the whale © oxford world classics stands for. As a tale of revenge, of religion, or of social class – and certainly as a good old yarn of good versus evil – Moby Dick is one of those classics which nobody should be put off reading for fear of being bored. The only caveat that can be raised is at the length of the book – 822 pages in the original publication makes it more of a project than the previous two offerings. Well worth it in the eyes of many, but it’s still probably not advisable to bring this along with any intention of finishing it, if the other half ’s coming with you this summer.

Internet

Tw e e t tweet

aisling salter checks out what’s tweeting with the stars

@rainnwilson (Rainn Wilson) Man that actor from “The King’s Speech” had a serious stutter! - Am… I think you may have missed the point of the movie Rainn.

@aplusk (Ashton Kutcher) Scars are just reminders of obstacles we've overcome. Wear them proudly - Even the ones we got while falling over drunk?

@JonahHill (Jonah Hill) Just got word that @ charliesheen jokes are played out. Can someone else famous do some insane shit so we can have something to write about? - One word Jonah – Gaga!

@Pink (P!nk) my baby's body fat is 2 to 3% this week. I'm so jealous - Bear in mind your baby is but a fetus Pink

@charliesheen (Charlie Sheen) #fastball; After years of being at the mercy of a decaying troll, charliesheen. com is finally in the hands of its Warlock owner! Go Now! c - Tell me about it Charlie. It sucks when your website is run by a decaying troll.

@BrunoMars (Bruno Mars) Thank you Shelbourne Dublin for showing us proper Irish hospitality - Oh God – you weren’t served by leprechauns were you??

@JKCorden (James Corden) I can't believe Charlie Sheen has been fired from "Two and a Half Men" what possible reason could they have? -Take one look at Chaz’s twitter, James, and you’d fire him too

@JonahHill (Jonah Hill) Just pulled up next to an acquaintance at a red light. Had awkward chat, said our goodbyes, then got caught at THREE more lights next to him. - Maybe it was fate bringing ye together?

@charliesheen (Charlie Sheen) This Warlock is in the breach. Poised. T - minus 51 mins. read my tigerblood dripping lips; you've been warned. C - Um... what?

@MissKellyO (Kelly Osbourne) both of the elevators are broken in my building i have to walk up over 20 flights of stairs to get in my apt... NOT happy right now!!! - My heart bleeds for you Kelly!

@brianofficial (Brian Dowling) Am currently craving wholemeal bread toasted with butter and peanut butter,and this morning had a bit of morning sickness,God am I preggers? -You are fairly feminine – so, maybe??

- Okay, okay. I’ll follow him – nobody wants a mind fucking!!

Click on this… Symphony of Science - http://www.symphonyofscience.com/ Everyone likes science, right? It’s cool, it’s helpful, it’s often shiny and/or gooey, and space is really big and aliens are cool to think about. Well, kids, a guy called John Boswell has taken all this unadulterated AWESOMENESS, auto-tuned and thrown some beats down on it – Symphony of Science is a website which takes audio clips from your favourite science dudes – Carl Sagan, Stephen Hawking, Richard Dawkins, Richard Feynman, Bill Nye, etc – and turns them into some pretty bangin’ (and thought-provoking) tunes. I highly recommend the Sagan-Hawking collaboration ‘A Glorious Dawn’ (with over 5 million views on Youtube), the very deep ‘We Are All Connected’ and the melodic ‘Poetry of Reality’ which features an auto-tuned Dawkins chirping the chorus “There’s real poetry / In the real world / Science is the poetry of reality.” Preach it. And click it.

@iamdiddy (Diddy) Everybody welcome my brother @JonahHill -officially the last person to join twitter. Follow him now.. or he'll mindfuck u – lol

Entertainments

Charlie Sheen: The Man, The Warlock aisling salter explores the bi-winning world of

charlie sheen

Carlos Irwin Estevez, also known as Charlie Sheen and more recently known as ‘The Warlock’, has made history as the highest paid actor on television. Earning an astonishing $1.8 million per episode on the hit TV sitcom “Two and a Half Men”, Sheen was most definitely “WINNING”. However, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing for the overpaid actor.

In his spare time (when he wasn’t winning here and there), Charlie managed to insult the show’s creator and head writer Chuck Lorre. He was accused of being anti-Semitic towards him and repeatedly referred to him and many others as “trolls”. He vowed that he, ‘The Warlock’, would defeat all of the ‘trolls’ standing in his way. After all, he revealed recently that he has “Adonis DNA” in his blood and that, mixed with his high intake of “Tiger Blood” was truly unstoppable. Not surprisingly, after these insulting and inane interviews, Sheen was fired from “Two and a Half Men”. When told of his recent unemployment, a camera crew captured Sheen drinking from a bottle marked “Tiger Blood” and waving a machete erratically from the roof of an office building. All in all, a pretty normal day in the life of Charlie Sheen.

In 1990 Sheen was engaged to fellow actor Kelly Preston. After an altercation at their home, it emerged that Sheen accidentally shot Ms. Preston in her arm. She wisely broke off their engagement shortly afterwards. He has since been married three times and has five children with three different women. Each marriage ended in a bitter divorce and drawn-out custody battle. Most recently his latest ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, has ordered their twin boys be removed from his home. During their marriage, Sheen was charged with “third degree assault and criminal mischief ” as well as undergoing a further stint in rehab. In 2010 he reportedly caused $7,000 in Fortunately for us, he now has a lot of free time as an unemployed damages at the Plaza Hotel in New York after heavy cocaine use and had to be removed from his suite by armed police. All in a day’s work actor. He has started a live web-chat series entitled ‘Sheen’s Korner’ in which he rambles and smokes cigarettes for 8 to 10 minutes. He for the ‘Warlock’ that is Charlie Sheen. now lives at ‘Sober Valley Lodge’ with two women (one of whom is In January, Sheen rather publicly put the show on hiatus for yet a pornographic actress) whom he refers to as his “goddesses”. He another rehab stint. He underwent treatment in his own home which joined the world of twitter a matter of weeks ago and already has he went on to christen ‘Sober Valley Lodge’. During this hiatus he almost three million followers. He made history and was entered gave us some valuable pearls of wisdom when interviewed by the into the Guinnes Book of World Records for having the fastest American press. When asked if he was on any drugs at that moment, following on twitter – averaging at 129,000 new followers per day. he simply replied “I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen” – adding In March Sheen announced a nationwide tour entitled “My that the only thing he is addicted to right now is winning. One interviewer, concerned with his erratic behavior asked him if he was Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option”. What Sheen is planning to do on stage is anyone’s guess, but I’m willing to bet bi-polar. He replied “I’m bi-winning, I win here and I win there”. His trademark word – WINNING – went on to be a trending topic on that it will be highly entertaining. I mean, you can only expect great things from someone who only has one speed – go! twitter for three whole days.

1960s american tv was weird in the best way, writes

kellie morrissey

Like most, my first venture into the world of the seminal 1960s American TV show The Twilight Zone was through the muchparodied episode in which William Shatner sees something on the wing of his plane and freaks out in a way only Kirk can do. However hokey that particular episode may be, The Twilight Zone (the original [and best series] running for 156 self-contained episodes between 1959-1964) is some really excellent stuff, guys – most episodes will provoke a distinctive spine-chill, and if they don’t, they’ll make you ponder on some pretty metaphysical questions. Here are three of the most well-known and best episodes and why you should catch them – episodes are about 30 mins long and most are readily available for free online.

3) Mirror Image Perhaps not the bestknown episode, Mirror © cbs Image is definitely one of the more uneasy episodes of the Twilight Zone. Vera Miles plays Millicent, who, forced to wait in a bus station late at night, begins to feel uneasy – when she goes to check her bag in at the counter, the clerk irritatedly tells her she’s already done so: she looks to the shelf, and sure enough, there is her bag. Anxious, she visits the bathroom, only, as the door swings shut, to catch a glimpse of herself sitting on the bench outside. A very uncomfortable episode with a typically twisted ending.

>>Continued on page 29

Television

“I am the motherfuckin'-fuckin' one who calls the shots!” chris redmond worships at the soprano altar (however morally dubious), and here's why... I have seen a lot of films. Certainly nowhere near as many as some of my former classmates, but enough to have pushed real life firmly into the background during my 22 years! It may therefore surprise some that my favourite on-screen character has never appeared in a film. Instead, he is a man who has become the behemoth of HBO television, the most fascinating anti-hero in TV history – Tony Soprano. Constrained as I am by word space, it will be difficult to articulate my deep reverence for the man so wonderfully portrayed by James Gandolfini during an almost ten-year period, ending in beautifully divisive fashion in 2007. Nevertheless, I will proceed with unabashed enthusiasm. The question to ask would be something like this: just what is it about Tony Soprano that shook the conservative foundations of television acceptability and revolutionised an art-form that has even exceeded cinema in the last ten years? There are, of course, a multitude of valid answers, but for my money the genius of the character lies in an amalgamation of myth and reality, one that poses all kinds of questions about morality. In Tony Soprano, we are presented with a familiar archetype – the patriarchal, alpha-male head of a mafia family. He is feared by his rivals and highly respected by his own crew. Crucially, however, this archetypal, almost mythological, behaviour is interwoven with a striking real-life resonance – Tony is, first and foremost, a husband and father. That is something the audience does not forget.

And how could they? The genius of the show lies in the seamless blend of exciting gangster activity with highly realistic family situations. My favourite example of this can be found in an episode from Season 1, entitled ‘College’. In this marvellous episode, voted the second-best TV episode of all time by TV Guide, Tony takes Meadow to visit various New England colleges, clearly proud as punch that his beautiful daughter has such a bright future ahead of her. This would be interesting enough in its own right, but there is a twist in the tale. During their expedition, Tony identifies a man who had turned FBI informant several years before, thereby setting in motion an elegant cat and mouse chase that is enhanced considerably by the familial implications. We realise that the one thing he holds dear, namely his children’s education and well-being, depends upon an active devotion to his job, however morally dubious that job may be.

We identify with Tony a lot more than we would sometimes like to admit. Essentially, he has to make the same decisions that any other committed father will at some point have to make. The difference lies in the

consequences. If Tony makes the wrong decision and ends up getting a life sentence (or worse), the consequences for his children will be devastating. Every bust-out he makes contributes to paying for college fees, CD players, games consoles, etc. Every head he cracks open is done with the intention of solidifying his career and creating an environment from which his daughter can become a doctor or lawyer or his son a successful footballer. At this point I will pose a second question: If innocent people don’t get hurt, are Tony’s actions, and by extension the actions of any gangster father, really so reprehensible? This is far too big a question to answer here, but nevertheless it brings the ‘M’ word firmly into the equation – morality. We can deplore our protagonist’s actions, but in a business where, according to Tony, “everybody knows the stakes”, do the ends justify the means?

>>And now, Mr. Serling continued from page 28

2) It’s a Good Life

1) Time Enough at Last

You’ve doubtless seen this one parodied time and again - It’s a Good Life tells the story of a town tormented by six year old Billy, who possesses incredible mental powers, forcing the townspeople into a guise of bland happiness so as not to upset him. The crux of the story comes when one of the townspeople confronts the child, who promptly turns him into a human jack-inthe-box: as hokey as this sounds, TTZ is always classy and so shows the transformation indirectly by the man’s shadow, making it all the more terrifying as the boy’s father declares, through gritted teeth, “It's a real good thing you did, Billy. A real © cbs good thing.”

Time Enough at Last has been parodied, but in its original form, it is intensely cruel, deeply moving and culminates with such a beautiful, simple twist: it’s an incredible piece of TV and you should rush to see it now. Burgess Meredith stars as an elderly, heavily myopic man who only wants some peace and quiet – in particular, he loves reading but is belittled by his wife and his boss. One day, desperate for some quiet, he climbs into the vault at the bank where he works in order to read a book as outside an atomic bomb blast destroys the world outside. He emerges to find himself the only living man on earth and, just as he contemplates suicide, happens upon a library with thousand of intact books. With time enough at last to read them, he begins to look forward to his new life, but as he leans down to pick up a book to begin reading, his glasses fall off and shatter. Irony at its cruellest – you will not feel right for some time afterwards.

features@motley.ie

perfect stranger l.a. was developed in 2009 by journalist caitlin foyt to examine the millions of fascinating and diverse residents of l.a. to show what makes the city’s heart beat. perfect stranger cork hopes to continue that aim, only with people who say “like,” and “biy” more.

If you’re between 18 and 22 and you like getting drunk on a Wednesday night, the chances are you’ve already met Emmet O’Brien. As the primary DJ for Freakscene, Cork’s longest running alternative club night, half of his job consists of dealing with inebriated college students approaching the DJ box requesting “that one song that sounds like this.” Generally, he’ll quite gamely sift through a Freakscenester’s (Freaksceneian’s?) sloppy description of a song until he figures out what it is, and if he can, put it on for them. Whether he’s aware of it or not, it has earned him the reputation of not only being one of Cork’s most competent DJ’s, but also its most approachable. Although DJ’ing is what Emmet is best known for, it is by no means his chief occupation, seeming to have some sort of involvement in almost every aspect of Cork’s art and music scene. Juggling his DJ role with both journalism and radio hosting, Emmet has managed to negotiate his way into three enviable careers without achieving an iota of pretension about it, almost shrugging off his various successes. “Anyone can do it. I’ve just been very lucky,” he offers. I met him towards the tail end of Cork’s French Film Festival, an event he is covering for Film Ireland. While he has great respect and knowledge for French cinema, he appears to have criticisms for the air of snobbery that surrounds it. “Some of the smaller films didn’t get a great turnout, almost entirely because people think that just because it’s French cinema it’s going to be completely arty and beyond them. You get people who think that a movie is automatically superior just because it’s in the foreign language category, when really it’s just another movie.” I ask him if he thinks this generates a very cliquey aspect in Cork’s cultural world. “To an extent, yes,” he reasons. “I’ve been covering the French Film Festival for a couple of years now, and you do get the same people turning up to the same events. I’d love to see some new faces there, convert people from thinking it’s an exclusive event.” Despite only being 25 (“26 next month,” he says, with customary chagrin) his credentials seem to outstrip his age,

Name: Emmet O’Brien © david hegarty

Age: 25 From: Wilton

having rubbed shoulders with the majority of the Irish celebrity scene, from The Frames to Cillian Murphy, while also having interviewed international names such The Road director, John Hilcoat. He talks affectionately about 90210 actress, Anna Lynne McCord: “I know she’s famous for playing bitchy characters, but she’s so lovely.” Slight crush, then? “No comment,” he blushes.

so successful as an interviewer. “I’m a terrible insomniac, so over the years I guess I’ve been just watching movies or reading comics while everybody else is asleep. It’s kind of both a gift and a curse.”

Oddly enough, his first celebrity experience was as an eleven year old with astronaut, aviator, and all-round dickhead, Neil Armstrong. “I would usually never talk badly about any of the people I’ve met, but he was awful to me and my brother. There were five kids in the room, and after signing three autographs, he waved us away. He refused to talk to us. I remember being pretty upset about it.” He pauses briefly, and with the quiet rage of someone who has mentally revisited this moment over the intervening years. “And we didn’t even ask him about the moon, either!”

Rather self-servingly, I ask him his advice about becoming a media journalist, a famously sought-after career. “Stand by your own opinions. Often, I’ll be asked to review a film that is surrounded with positive praise – like Inception, for example – and if I don’t like it, and I feel I have legitimate reasons not to like it, I don’t like to negotiate my opinions to please people. I remember having a conversation with a friend after seeing Transformers 2, and he accused me of being overly critical about a movie that was meant to be taken as light-hearted fun. It’s not that I’m against a movie not being fun, I just don’t think that gives it license to also be mediocre.” I find it hard not to agree with him, having recently had a similar conversation with someone regarding Boardwalk Empire.

Talking to Emmet, it’s hard not to be impressed by the sheer volume of pop cultural knowledge he seems to have schooled himself in. Conversation is an enthusiastic hopscotch from subject to subject, pulling out movie and music references like toys from a chest. Begin a conversation about Spiderman, and you’ll find your talking about Woody Allen 30 seconds later. Another two conversational moves and we’re talking about Scottish band Belle & Sebastian. His excitement for the things he loves is contagious, and is probably one of the focal reasons he has been

Being on the opposite end of the interview for once is an odd experience for Emmet, and knowing his journalistic credentials I find it hard not to be nervous of my own interviewing skills. I continuously fumble with my questions, and am increasingly paranoid that he can read my terrible shorthand from upside down, across the table. I finish with asking him about his aspirations for the future. “Well, I’d love to write a book” he blushes again, a gesture that comes when he knows he is being unforgivably nerdy “But about Morrissey.”

The Hope in Chernobyl david power

s the world waits and watches in horror as Japan comes closer to a total nuclear meltdown, we struggle to make sense of what things would be like in the event of the worst. The Fukushima Power Plant is getting dangerously close to a full meltdown, which may have even occurred by the time this article is published. As human minds struggle to comprehend the gravity of such a disaster, it seems easy to write the entire thing off as The Worst Thing Ever. UK Newspaper The Telegraph recently said an explosion would be comparable to the Chernobyl disaster. The Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant exploded in 1986, causing the direct and indirect deaths of between 4,000 and a million people due to fallout radiation and the direct explosion.

Earth is a survivor and life goes on, even when it seems the bleakest. All of us, from the smallest rabbit to humankind, are meant to survive. Organisms are built to survive their darkest hour. Chernobyl and Pripyat were emptied after the accident. Pripyat was a city founded in 1970 specifically to house the workers at the Chernobyl Nuclear Plant; it was home to 50,000 people. On the night Reactor #4 exploded, the people of Pripyat slept in their beds, unaware that just forty hours later, they would leave, never to return. Chernobyl was home to 14,000 people; today, 500 people occupy the city. The last of the Nuclear Plant closed in 2000, 14 years after an accident that devastated millions of lives, destroyed two cities and ruptured economic and social development for the foreseeable future. Plutonium, uranium, radioactive lava and huge amounts of radioactive dust don’t

disappear from view. The plant had to be covered to prevent the spread of radioactivity and to conserve as much life as possible. It took five months to build a sarcophagus around the debris; when the radioactivity became too much, robots were used to screw nuts and bolts in place. A literal concrete block sits over the reactor remnants in Chernobyl.

around 5,000 adult boars, 20 to 30 wolf packs, and hundreds of deer, badgers, foxes, and other smaller animals, in addition to regrowth of trees and grasses. Life has come back to the once dead. The area has even opened for tourism in January 2010, as buses take you through the deserted villages and towns, quickly scanning passengers for radiation levels as they go.

Despite all of that, the deserted town of Chernobyl is bustling with life. Not with people, but from the local wildlife which has crept back into the area. Despite pockets of still active radiation, some areas are experiencing plant regrowth and animal repopulation at a rate not thought of so soon after such a high amount of nuclear radiation. Today, the Chernobyl Zone boasts

Earth is a survivor and life goes on, even when it seems the bleakest. All of us, from the smallest rabbit to humankind, are meant to survive. Organisms are built to survive their darkest hour- consider this: in 1945, an atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. 80,000 people died immediately, and 70,000 more were injured. Almost 70% of Hiroshima’s buildings were damaged. Over 260,000 people died there of radiation illnesses. Today, over 1 million people live in Hiroshima, and the carcass of a domed building near the river, close to the blast site, dominates the view as a testament to what survives. Life is indomitable, even when it seems hope is lost- and it is with this cautiously optimistic heart, we look east.

I Blog Therefore I Am caroline o'donoghue navel-gazes... and blogs about it.

ew words serve a very specific purpose to society, and our generation has coined quite a few of them. We live in a time where the news quotes twitter as a legitimate source of information, where our parents join Facebook, and you can quasi-ironically get away with saying “O.M.G.” in everyday conversations. To word-lovers and English students, this new dialogue has become a collection of dirty words that do nothing but indicate the inadequacies of our generation, a generation widely regarded as being self-involved, spoilt, and sloppy. Perhaps this is why the dirtiest of all the dirty words is the “blog.” A blog is like a Facebook page jumped up on Ritalin and vanity. The trouble with the internet is that it gives everybody a voice, and unfortunately many of those who choose to use this voice are those with the least to say. In 2008, it was recorded that 184 million people had signed up for a blog account. From my research, the vast majority of these people seem to either be Twilight enthusiasts or “fashion” bloggers: more specifically, girls who enjoy posting pictures of themselves in spotted dresses alongside detailed descriptions of their inner psyche. “People tell me I’m very mysterious,” quips a blogette, in reference to a photograph of her iris. I avoid commenting that writing a blog could be the single most de-mystifying act a person can achieve, save flashing your nipples on public transport. Naturally, I was pretty surprised when I found that not only had I somehow managed to start a blog, but I had also become addicted to it. That’s right. I am the proverbial bus-flasher.

a blog is like a facebook page jumped up on ritalin and vanity. the trouble with the internet is that it gives everybody a voice, and unfortunately many of those who choose to use this voice are those with the least to say. As someone who already uses free media to demand their voice be heard, it was a risky step. Thankfully, in our beloved Motley, my rants are limited to monthly instalments of semi-literate misguided venom. With a blog, I stand even more precariously on the cusp of being totally self-absorbed. A month later and 27 posts in, it’s hard to say whether my social skills have regressed or not. The wonderful thing about wireless internet is it means I can rant about Marianne Faithful and Scrabble rule violations from the comfort of my own

duvet. Gone are the days where I would have to wander into college until I found someone to listen to me, and this is as refreshing for me as it is for the receiving parties. The nifty thing about blogging is when it’s going well, you’re endowed with a certain degree of empowerment, of being in control of your own creative output, your own readership. Rich fantasies unfold themselves of the corporate big-wiggery stumbling upon your blog, slapping their thigh heartily and clucking “Well I’ll be damned, but this girl has got something. Insights into James Franco the likes of which I’ve never seen. Get me the media on the phone! They’ll want to hear about this.” Que an elaborate montage of being flown dumbfounded, to Paris Fashion Week, á la Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face. However, there is the flipside to blog writing. For one thing, I have become completely obsessed with how many “followers” I have acquired, each follower bringing me closer to being the blogging messiah. I find myself checking my follower list at least three (okay, six) times a day. When I find (once again) that I’m still stuck on the same old number, I begin a ceaseless berating of myself for caring in the first place. It’s all quite sad, really. Possibly even more pathetic is how often I seem to be bringing my blog into everyday conversation. This is, understandably, boring for people. Hearing about someone’s blog is like hearing about their dreams, or looking through their holidays photos. If you’re not in them and no one’s having sex, it’s very hard to care. Every time I hear myself say “Oh wow, that is so weird, I was just blogging about that the other day” I want to kick myself in the stomach. I can feel the other person drifting from me. “I’m sorry for talking about my blog” I offer, meekly. I will generally follow-up, still utterly mortified by my behaviour: “I’m also sorry I used “blog” as a verb.” (If you are interested in feeding my ego tasty bacon bits or discussing Scrabble rule violations, you can do so at http:// workinprowess.blogspot.com)

8 things i love about limerick city audrey dearing

with the rubberbandits surging in popularity, the limerick city accent (real or fake) has come in vogue here in cork. if you think anything north of charleville is feral, like me, then you may need a bit of assistance in keeping up with the rising slang. to keep your banter with-the-times, alan hogan, david power, and dara o’carroll of ard scoil rís’s graduating class of 2008 are here to help translate some of the more subtle limerickisms for the average corkonian.

1.“Copper piiipe!”

likely involving a violent confrontation with the esteemed clientèle.

Originally shouted as a warning from one school boy to another in the halls of Ard Scoil Rís to warn about an incoming teacher, it’s now used colloquially to enthusiastically agree. “Session tonight! It’s going to be unreaaalll, kiiid.” “Copper piiipe!”

For the enthusiastic Corkonian who wishes to take it upon themself to visit the great city, some pointers may be needed. The ancient Latin motto of Limerick translates as “an ancient city well versed in the arts of war”, and as such you may need to have a bit of “cop on tae” about you. Here are some things to keep in mind:

2. “Yurt” A noise to designate positive affirmation or enthusiasm. “Was supposed to be up studying at 8, but somehow managed to press snooze every five minutes for over an hour. Totally worth it. Yuuuurt.” (it’s also a type of Mongolian tent, similar to a teepee but that’s completely coincidental - Alan)

6. The Cork Accent, Biy Cork is like Limerick’s annoying younger brother that we constantly have to tell to shut up. Galway’s like our older, more sensible brother, he has his own apartment and a girlfriend and shit. For this reason, keep the Cork accent to an absolute minimum when visiting. Hearing it in Limerick is like having your younger brother coming over asking you to go get him a pint at the bar when you’re trying to get the shift.

3. “Mouldy” (pronounced mowwl-dee) Drunk in the most horrible way possible. “She was doing sambuca shots out of a homeless man’s collection cup. Mouldy enough I’d say.”

7. Queueing Orderly Never hold up the queue in Chicken Hut or my good friend Gubbins will kick the head off ya.

Another important feature of Limerick speech is the way words are shortened to the nth degree. This practice originated during the times of Patrick Sarsfield and the Siege of Limerick when supplies to the city were limited and thus syllables had to be rationed. This gave rise to words and phrases such as:

8. Ordering Food If you end up in Kebabish after a night of humiliating yourself in one of Limerick’s premier nightclubs, there are only two things you are allowed order: a chip kebab or chicken nuggets in burger sauce. Ordering anything else will give the game away, and your sexuality may well be questioned.

4. “Telpus” Meaning Lord help us (and save us).

Overall, Limerick City is like a different world to Cork. Hopefully with this guide you’ll manage to avoid getting stabbed at Colbert Station, but no promises. And THAT’S Limerick City.

5. “Stroll Chut, snackbox like” An expression of one’s desire to walk to the Chicken Hut and consume a small box of greasy chicken and chips,

History of UCC According to Clubs and Societies “On rooting through a cabinet in the Accommodations Office, Societies Guildie John O Donoghue discovered a whole museum-load full of documents, photographs and stories about UCC Clubs and Societies- right from the 1800s to the present day. What he found is to be catalogued into Special Collections in the Boole Library.In this four part feature, he takes us through the best things he rediscovered, and why they’re so important for the history of UCC.”

ith the final issue of Motley Magazine 2011, we also come to the final of our four part series, documenting the history of Clubs and Societies in UCC. We finished up the previous article with the formation of the Marca na Feirme Society in 1975, and the Surgeon Noonan Society in 1978, amongst others. UCC itself was undergoing huge changes in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s especially from an administration point of view, with the role of the vice-president reestablished in 1974. The first woman vicepresident of the college was elected in 1989 alongside splitting the role into two offices. Nowadays we have several vice presidents presiding over various different offices for the university including the most recent position of student experience. With the new Boole Library finished in 1982, the college expanded further along with the college purchasing the former Honan Hostel area in 1991 for the building

of the O’Rahilly Building in 1998. The end of President McCarthy’s term of office in 1978 also marked the end of the residential presidency, with no other president living on the UCC campus since. The need for further office space in the expanding college required this, and various other residential buildings became part of the office college too. One of the first jobs for president óCiardha in the early 1980s was to open the new Food Science Building across the road from the Kane Building. This was significant for the college as it marked the first expansion of the university westwards towards the Bon Secours Hospital, and the building provided badly needed lecture rooms and lab space. Societies around this time, especially debating ones, began to make the new Kane and Food Science Buildings’ lecture halls their home for meetings and events. This was an interesting move from the traditional Geography and

Geology Building lecture hall, which was a favourite for many societies until the 1960s. university along with the Student Centre extension in 2001. The sale of Fota Wildlife Park and farmland in 1987, which UCC acquired in 1975, to an English business developer provided the university with badly need funds in the region of £1.4million for further expansion around the main campus. Castlewhite Apartments appeared in 1991 along with the extension to the Food Science Building in 1993. The new student centre, which opened in 1995, was one of the first projects funded by a student levy on the registration fee following the government’s decision to scrape third level fees. The Student Centre was previously housed in the Boole Basement where the computer rooms are now. With limited expansion space available, this was a huge step for the university along with the Student Centre extension in 2001.

Students Union.” Initially, GaySoc was refused to be recognised by UCC’s Joint Board, and took another eight years along with establishing the name “LGBT Lesbian, Gay, BiSexual and Transgender” to get recognised firstly by the Societies Guild (1988), then Joint Board in 1989 and Governing Body also in 1989. The Science Society, on the other hand, formed as a result of a meeting of class reps from the various different sections of science in UCC. Other societies formed during the 1980s and 1990s include the Traditional Music Society in 1980, the WARPS Society in 1990 and the Science Fiction Society in 1993.

Societies also expanded rapidly throughout the 1980s with Archaeological Society forming in 1986 and the Computer Science Society in 1981 (now called NetSoc). As for the Clubs, UCC won the Sigerson Football Cup in 1988 after a long drought of 16 years with the famous Maurice Fitzgerald on the team along with Captain John Keane, both from Kerry. They didn’t win it again until 1994 and 1995 with Seamus Moynihan on the team this time around. It would be another 16 years from there before UCC finally brought the trophy back to the leeside this year in a tough three day tournament in Dublin. On the other hand, The Fitzgibbon Hurling Cup was completely dominated by UCC throughout the 1980s, achieving a record breaking 8 titles in a row from 1981 to 1988. The Cup celebrates its 100 anniversary next year, which will be hosted by UCC in the Mardyke looking for their first win since 2009.

likely named after the medal of the same name instituted by Pope Gregory XVI in 1832 which is conferred on those who have exhibited long and exceptional service to the Catholic Church. It is generally the name associated with the highest awards given out by institutions all over the world, and is recorded on the students personal university transcript. Brendan O’Connor, RTE Presenter, is one such winner of a Societies Bene Merenti Award in, 1992. By the end of the 1980’s, UCC created an LGBT Society (1989), a Progressive Democrats Society (1986), a Psychological Society (1986), and a Science Society (1989). The LGBT Society formed after a Philosophical Society Debate in 1980 on the topic of “that this house supports the establishment of a college GaySoc by the

The Societies Guild and Clubs Executive (Athletic Union) began the traditional Clubs and Societies Ball in March 1983 in the Aula Maxima, where it remained until the mid 1990’s. It was then moved to the old Jurys hotel on Western Road before being moved again, more recently, to the Rochestown Park Hotel. This also marked the beginning of the awards for clubs and societies with special awards for individuals in both clubs and societies called Bene Merenti (“to a well deserving person” - Latin). Other awards were added later, in the early 2000s, called Individual Society Achievement Awards (Star Awards) in order to acknowledge more people involved in the running of student societies. The Bene Merenti Award is most

The establishment of the New Granary theatre in 1994 on Mardyke Walk saw the UCC Dramat Society expand further with regular shows and a permanent venue to show them in. The actor Cillian Murphy, while studying law at UCC, began his acting career in the mid 1990's in the Granary and the UCC Dramat Society. In 1997, the college got a new student newspaper entitled the University Examiner, which was later replaced by the Campus Chronicle in 2001 and the Xpress in 2002. The Express as we know it today appeared in 2004 and grew hugely throughout 2005 getting nominated for 8 National Student Media awards, winning Peoples Choice in 2007. The new Journalism Society founded Motley Magazine in 2006, now printed by the SU Media Exec, which has since gone on to win a national award in 2007 and is still the premier source for Current Affairs, Lifestyle, Arts and Entertainment in UCC. With the new Student Centre in 1995, also came Cork Campus Radio 98.3 FM. Still one of only three fully licensed Student Radio Stations in the Country, it has produced well known personalities such as Victor Barry and Des Bishop. As we move into another decade, we’ve added even more societies to our repertoire including the hugely popular E&S Society in 2008, The International Development Society in 2007 and the Orchestra Society in 2010. As of 2011 we currently have 82 active societies in UCC and over 55 clubs, making us the most active campus in Ireland. QCC/ UCC has a long rich history, and our clubs and societies along with the people involved every year were, and always will be, at the heart of it all.

Look-a-Likes in the last of our lookalikes for the year, we take a college student and make them look like a well known face...

'i've been trying to grow my hair, but someone came up to me and asked if i was enya. i was so shocked, i shaved all my hair off... i don't feel like me unless i have my hair shaved. so even when i'm an old lady, i'm going to have it."

to this...

from this...

aisling bennett 3rd year arts sinéad o'connor, co. dublin-born singer/ songwriter, has been a symbol for irish heritage and feminism. alternating between pop songs such as "nothing compares 2 u" and more traditionalsounding irish songs such as "factory girl," sinéad's look is strong and uncompromising.

“what pisses me off is when i've got seven or eight record company fat pig men sitting there telling me what to wear.”

UCC's next top model caroline o'donoghue

od’s honest truth, I initially found myself highly cynical about UCC’s Next Top Model, and on recollection it’s hard to decipher why. Although I am generally pretty suspicious of all events that remind me of Tyra Banks, I think the main reason for my cynicism was the fact that although the Irish have broken through in most areas of pop culture, we have yet to produce a really great model. Sure, we’ve had some strong contestants with figures like Erin O’Connor who have managed to break through, but let’s face it: Ireland will never produce a Twiggy, a Kate, or even a Cindy. Or will we? UCC’s Next Top Model may just offer a thread of hope. As I flick through the competition’s resulting photographs, I see what the Irish modeling industry has been crying out for. The contestants embody the kind of edge and character Irish glossies are beginning to favour over the traditional sandy-haired corn-fed beauties that originally dominated the scene. UCC’s Next Top Model is no beauty pageant. The event’s creators, along with celebrated photographer Miki Barlok clearly have a mission in mind with their search. Any pretty student could be a model, but can UCC cough up someone truly original, dynamic and, well, memorable? Although the contest borrows its name from the popular TV show “America’s Next Top Model,” the format has very little in common with its predecessor. For one thing, the contest does not eliminate its contestants after each photo shoot. Every model takes part in each shoot and the winner is announced after the final runway show, thus allowing each model to build up an impressive portfolio over the competition. Although the prizes, a contract with Lockdown Model Management and a spread in None Magazine, are extraordinary opportunities for any aspiring model, every contestant leaves the contest with a formidable body of work. The competition itself seems to be built on good intentions, the UCC Fashion Society determined to maintain high production values throughout the various photoshoots. I find out early in my research that Barlok, along with makeup artist Kate Noonan, work for free in order to support the event. Clearly neither party can be accused of “phoning it in” either, a cursory glance at their Weird Dreams shoot obviously the result of much creative work and devotion on their part. The resulting photographs are gorgeously odd, consisting of the 13 models as various superhuman, almost ghost-like figures, bringing a darkly compelling twist to their

campus backdrops. The uncanny qualities of the images have not gone unnoticed by the wider Cork media, having been featured in the Evening Echo and other local publications. Examining them, it’s hard to believe that not a single model has ever had previous modeling experience, and the vast majority of the contestants are indeed First Years. No model seems to rest on merely their good features or enviable figures, each one bringing the spark of originality that makes them so marketable. While the final fashion show on March 22nd may be in UCC’s function room and popular make-out spot Devere Hall, every aspect will showcase an area of glamour that campus is otherwise unfamiliar with. With the featured clothing being entirely sponsored by Brown Thomas, make-up by MAC, and hair by Origin, the event raises the bar for all the models to perform. Like any good voyeur, I’ve been frantically going through the photoshoots, picking my favourite to win. The runway show promises to be the student event of the year, and sadly one of the last of the term. With lushly assembled goody bags from L’Oreal and The Body Shop, club concessions and rumoured quasi-celebrity appearances, the event is a bargain at €10. Go along, and who knows, you might end up getting discovered yourself.

Important Life Lessons Learned cathal brennan considers some of the lessons he has

Murphy‘s Law UCC Columnist now UCD Tosser Kieran Murphy brings you his final instalment of self-serving wank. When I bullied Aisling into giving me something to write for Motley I never dreamed of receiving my own column but soon after my head stopped swelling and the dust settled it was pretty evident I was a bad contributor. For me this column is a lot like an essay you forget about then write in the early hours of the morning which I’m doing right now while wondering which of my house mates is snoring. I never set out to say anything in particular nor did I have any plan. To be honest, I only wanted it for my CV. However in the past few months I’ve learned that there’s more to college than just CV building. It’s fantastic to be involved with student papers and socs and I encourage anyone going to college to take advantage of that but when it beginsto take over your life then it must stop. This is one of the reasons why I quit being Fashion Editor in the University Observer in UCD. I was lucky enough to do 8 issues, style and co-ordinate 9 photo shoots and interview some interesting people but one night while editing a piece about Gossip Girl fashion I realised I needed my life again. I took what seemed a drastic decision but for my sanity and academia it’s worked out for the best and while I maybe writing this column on a break from a 2,000 word essay about video games this is my last foray in student media for a while. While UCC is going into it’s study month soon after this issue is published us in UCD still have 5 weeks left of college before 2 weeks of exams and then it’s offer into Summer and my final year. What some people forget when they get too involved in College is that it doesn’t matter, and we all know those people around the place who’ve been doing an Arts degree for 7 years suffering from a case of arrested development. Like being told in 6th year that the leaving certificate doesn’t matter after you get into college, being told in college that what we do hear doesn’t matter in the real world is hard to swallow but it’s true. And with that I would like to bid all my UCC counterparts adieu. I would like to thank the inimitable Features Editor Audrey Dearing, and my lovely Editor and one of my best friends Aisling Twomey for giving me the chance to write this guff each month. Kieran Murphy is an English and Film Studies student in UCD, and is training to be a Sex Astronaut with Virgin Travel

learned over a lifetime of accidents, mistakes and stupidity.

As the end of college draws to a close, it’s easy to get sentimental and disgustingly emotional while reminicing. As I am ever a victim to trends, I’ve taken a step back to examine pivotal points in my life thus far. *

It has been 7 years since I had my first wank. It was also my last. (LOL JK.)

* In all 7312 days of my existence thus far, I never been able to establish the correct pronunciation of ‘viscount’ biscuits properly. Is it vice-count? Viscount? Vi-count? Who knows. * Out of the 1044 and a half weeks that I’ve been around for, I’ve only been away on holidays for six of them. This is pretty pathetic, considering my sixtysomething-year-old-uncle was off gallivanting around Australia and Ibiza during the summer. * When I was two, I was pretty much spending all of my time in my cot. One day, I said ‘Fuck this for shit,’ and tried to headbutt my way out through the railings. As the results of this were unsatisfactory, I then proceeded to try and climb over said railings. When Mama Brennan saw what I was trying to do, I got a new cot. With higher railings. *

When I was six, I had a square Easter egg called a squegg. It was unreal.

* When I was eight, I put my arm through a window and scarred it quite badly. I used to pretend that the scar looked a bit like a comet, and that through this I must have been Harry Potter’s secret twin brother. It made sense at the time. * When I was twelve, I knocked out a dude in my class because he was being a prick. We’re alright now though. * When I was 14, I was playing with my local hurling team, Kilbree. We were playing Kilmichael, a shower of dirty feckers from near Macroom. During the second half of the game, I caught a brilliant pass from Darren Deasy down the left wing, and I fecking teared for the posts. As I made my run through their defence, their centre back (a Mr. Micheal Masters, cousin of Cork County footballer James Masters) broke his hurley across my chest. I still kept going and got a point out of it. Definitely the highlight of my sporting career! Hurt to fuck though. * When i was 18, I was elected president of the student council in my old secondary school back in Dunmanway. Part of my job, I decided, was that I’d make school hoodies. i told school management that the hoodies cost €27.50 to make, and I’d be selling them for the €30. this meant that there would be €2.50 left over, and that money was to go toward gear for the P.E. department. In reality however, the hoodies only cost €25 to make, yet the management only ever thought that they cost €27.50. what happened to the other €2.50, you ask? who knows... * I have only ever had one job just before I was 19. It involved cleaning up shitty toilets in Havana Browns. I’m not saying it was a shit job in every sense of the word, but it certainly was shit in a literal sense. The second worst thing I ever found in there was a used condom up against the bar. * When I was 19 and a bit, I went to France with a buddy of mine. There, I discovered that mixing red, white and rosé wine will make your poo green. And so I strike into my third year with vigour and purpose. Who knows what the next academic year will hold in store for me? Christ knows. But that’s half the fun of it. http://uccpureshtonemad.blogspot.com

Google My Face audrey dearing takes you on a trip around google street view- and questions how a cork park could be more interesting than hiroshima.

oogle Earth has captured my imagination in a way once reserved for what my lecturers do when they’re not karyotyping things (presumably masturbating) and vibrators (see item one). As an American, I can spend hours endlessly amused by stupid shit, and thus viewing my hometown 7-Eleven on street view (4705 24 Mile Rd, Shelby Twp., MI, 48316) is now one of my great hobbies. My week was made, for example, when I looked up my family’s summer home in Northport, Michigan, and saw that my sister (or the gardener; it’s fairly blurry) was standing outside the house when the picture was taken. I went absolutely mental and notified my parents, my classmates, my local congressman, and everyone on the All Students mailing list. Fuck invasion of privacy, that shit’s exciting.

Seeing as how it’s Google Earth, and not Google My House, all of the world’s wonders are at the click of a mouse. The Pyramids of Giza, the canals of Venice, the only building left standing after the bombing of Hiroshima, all easily explored as if you were really the; the Earth is accessible as never before. Then why do I, and eveyone I’ve ever met, spend all of our time looking up Fitzgerald’s Park to try to see if anyone got caught having sex? (Don’t bother, there isn’t. I checked.) It speaks to human nature, I suppose, to generally be more interested in things relevant to ourselves and our experiences than what we see as outside our sphere. It’s comforting to ignore most of the world (a typically American view) as it’s realistically too big to competently process. But is that

responsible as citizens of the world? It can be overwhelming as we sit in our lectures, learning of genocide in Darfur, sex slavery in southeast Asia, and even the recent earthquake in Japan. At the same time it’s exceedingly ignorant and close-minded, enemies of the serious scholar, to ignore the unpleasant and to dwell only in the hereand-now. My suggestion is to do some research on something outside of your sphere of knowledge. Pick a cause that you are passionate about, whether it’s local or foreign, and be committed and knowledgeable about it instead of trying, and failing, to take on the world. Sure, you can save your comforting sense of shortsightedness for Google Earth.

The Five Most Annoying People at House Parties sam marks coins the term “pepperoni gollum” to be fair, everyone needs a social outlet, but this is when moderation goes completely out the window. these are the annoying habits some people can’t shake at parties and doesn’t do them any favours; the people who you just generally don’t want to walk into:

1. The DJ First and foremost, it is called a “playlist” for a reason. You put all this effort into creating one, sharing your favourite music with other people. Yet you always get that snobby self-centred person who thinks their musical taste beats anyone else’s, who is obsessed with hearing a particular song at a particular time, despite the fact it’s probably on the playlist anyway. To make matters worse, this class of tone-deaf critters will usually belt-out the uninspired choice they have selected at the top of their lungs.

2. The Stalker

cases above the torso, fortunately) and they can’t be arsed to find anywhere private to do it. They sit there, reminding everyone of how they’re alone. It’s even worse if a horse is making out with a gorilla.

4. The Recent Breakup Although this subject is a tad unfair, we’ve all most likely been there. This can go two ways: You unknowingly ask how things are going with X, and you see that sudden expression of disappointment on their face. Or you know of their break-up and you’re torn between the desperation to know what happened and the avoidance of complete utter awkwardness of having asked in the first place. Either way, somehow you feel you area portrayal of some metaphorical bad-guy for even thinking about it. And no-one likes to be a bad guy.

Ever get the stuck talking to a “friend” who “knows no-one else here?” You know them vaguely, the ones who you’re convinced has never heard of something called an “introduction” or “making acquaintances.” You’re probably stuck there, your potential shiftof-the-night eying you longingly, and there is your needy (and probably sociopathic) acquaintance who has you stuck in a mundane 5. The Moocher “conversation” about college or their favourite beer or something else Scabbing one cigarette is fine. Two is pushing it. Three is looking generic and dull. You try and shrug it off with a “Have a good night” desperate. And four is probably a criminal offense! These guys are and a smile (and an uncomfortable one at that), but they don’t leave. sneaky and very hard to catch in the act. They will wait outside the door for the pizzas to arrive and eat the whole thing themselves in 3. The Lovebirds some secluded corner like a pepperoni Gollum. Either that or they are some master grifter that plays with flirting eyes, saying that they These are the two people who never spend a second more than six forgot to buy beer before the offies closed. Yet, to be fair, you can’t inches away from each other, or worse, those three people! They blame them for making the most of it in these recessionary times. insist on having at least one organ inside the other (in most

Fashion fashion@motley.ie

Kathryn O’Regan

In Pursuit of Style what is it that determines a style icon, ponders kathryn o’ regan, and what makes some people more stylish than others...

few months ago I was sitting across from an elderly man on the bus. He was quietly reading a much annotated, battered book and little did he know I was staring across at him. He was however, perfectly dressed – toffee leather shoes, chocholatey cords and jacket, cream shirt, spectacles and particularly delightful, a matching trilby. Needless to mention, my fascination could not be helped. Style is just one of those things; you can’t put your finger on it, but you know it when you see it. This elderly gent had it in spades. He knew what suited him, how to put it together, but most importantly, the trilby provided that personality that separates mere good taste from sheer style. Style for me is always about standing out. That person with real style will stand out among a crowd of well dressed people. A girl I saw once in college sporting canary yellow tights or the middle-aged man who supervised my leaving cert exams – Italian cut suits and polished pointed shoes. A woman in the queue for the bus a few weeks back (buses and bus stations – excellent for people watching albeit sometimes the ratio of weirdo to normal can be slightly askew...) with her pink – grey skirt and green military jacket with the sleeves rolled up and a lady I once spotted many years ago in a local shopping centre, head to toe flapper with candy –pink blushed cheeks, blonde bob and besequined hat. I for one, never forget a person with that certain je ne sais quoi. With this notion of ‘What is style?’ in mind, the concept of the ‘Style Icon’ needs to be broached. Last month, Emma Watson was crowned Style Icon 2011 at the Elle Style Awards. Emma has perfectly reasonable dress sense, but style icon? I think not. It takes something extra than a few nicely chosen designer dresses to be a real style

icon; something which perhaps, Vivienne Westwood, who presented the award to Watson on her request, agrees with when she admitted she had no idea who Emma was prior to the event. Not sure about you, but I LOLed. Indeed, a style icon is a whole lot more than a cute dress and a pair of Louboutins. And it goes back to this idea of personality. Anyone can be well-dressed if they have the means at their disposal – money and stylists can do wonderful things after all, but surely

Actress Chloe Sevigny is an especially brilliant example of a modern style icon. Chloe is a personal favourite as she has this cool slightly zany personality that is perfectly expressed in her witty and experimental outfits. What is most refreshing about Chloe is that there’s always a sense of here is a woman dressing entirely for herself rather than for male approval. And that’s at the heart of the matter; a style icon is someone who dresses always and unapologetically for themselves. They © stylebubble.co.uk

there is more involved to be that special kind of enduring style icon. Consider the world’s must adored fashion icon, Audrey Hepburn. Audrey may have been blessed with a gamine figure and the most beautiful face, but certainly, a lot of Audrey’s appeal has to do with the fact not only did she have style, but was a renowned for her kind and charitable nature too. Every female wants to dress a little like Audrey in an effort to capture some of her unique natural charm. Case and point: the continued obsession with the LBD has got a whole lotta Audreyin-Givenchy to thank.

take risks and throw caution to the wind in the manner of Sevigny or style blogger Susie Bubble, or they dress with impeccable precision and elegance like Audrey or Jane Birkin. That person with real style isn’t worried about what someone else thinks of their outfit because it is entirely their own – no one else had a say in putting that outfit together – and they’re confident in their choice. There is a wonderful anecdote about Audrey on the ‘Roman Holiday’ set, much to the dismay of the costume designer, accessorizing her costume with a neck scarf and belting her dirndl skirt – now, that’s the kind of personality I’m talking about.

Fashion

Summer snippets

The Floral: While florals may be predictable for spring/summer, D&G made a tired trend rather fabulous.

The Headscarf: Good enough for Audrey, good enough for me. Colourful and cool at Rochas s/s show.

The swimsuit:

Vintage styles all the way – halter necks and one pieces. Perfect with a pair of cat –eye shades.

The summer dress: Don’t go crazy and buy every single bright and/or patterned dress in sight, be selective. I like this 1950s’style poppy printed one from Topshop; it’s suitable for both day and night.

The colour: Tangerine tones are tricky to pull off but terrific for the summer season.

A Style Icon less ordinary #3... kathryn o’ regan celebrates the style icons not usually found in the latest copy of ‘look’ magazine – no kate mosses here! © mcns.blogspot.com

Who? When? What?

Fishermen from the Wesht Ongoing phenomena Sure, doesn’t everyone have an Aran style jumper or cardigan these days?!

Style? Aforementioned chunky cable knits,

practical raincoat, a tweedy addition or too.

Why?

There’s no point pretending that we’ll be frolicking about in summer dresses and shorts come April. Instead, April showers are probably a more likely option, and that’s where our Fisherman friend comes in.

€52 euro topshop

€44 euro topshop

laura hastings invites you to check out a university-based street style website, college fashionista. Street style blogging has become an internet sensation over the past five years. The real people snapped on these blogs provide far more original inspiration than any of the celebrities found in magazines. I think most of us can agree that the bulk of our outfit inspiration comes from the people around us. If you love to people-watch, and observe how others put an outfit together, then you will adore collegefashionista.co.uk. College Fashionista features fashion from universities around the globe, from Australia to Brazil. I stumbled upon the website by chance, noticing their ad seeking ‘style gurus’ on gradireland.ie. I applied for an internship and with my application

successful, began posting looks on the website after Christmas. So far the response from people I’ve asked to photograph has been very positive. Every Monday a fresh look direct from UCC goes live on the website accompanied with a piece deconstructing the outfit. The founder of the site, Amy Levin, is very supportive of all her intern style gurus, and has a great approach to the street style blogging phenomenon, describing the website as : “a platform for students to become inspired by the latest looks around college and how their peers make fashion work within a budget.” According to Levin, “No two campuses are alike and no two

Student Style Style Gurus are alike which makes the site a diverse melting pot of perspectives ” If you have a love for fashion and are interested in becoming an intern style guru for UCC, there are up to five positions available for each university. I would recommend the experience without a doubt, having gained excellent experience in fashion journalism, meeting deadlines, and not to mention, thicker skin from asking people I don’t know to photograph them! If you wish to contact Amy directly about an intern position, email her at amy@collegefashionista.com with a CV and sample piece accompanied by a street style photo.

Fashion Moment #5

you don’t get more stylish than french sixties’ stars. take three...

€21 warehouse Singer Françoise Hardy For that perfect 60s’ blunt fringe alone... Casual stripes, loose shirts, big sunglasses, simple pared down mod aesthetic, an acoustic guitar.

Jean Seberg While not actually French, she’s got the whole Gallic thing down to a striped tee. Blonde Pixie cut – yessir. Winged eyeliner, turned up trousers, cardigans, sundresses.

Catherine Deneuve Who said blonde bombshells can’t be chic... Secretary blouses, hair ribbons, elegant coats, cable knit sweaters, shift dresses, pillbox hats, YSL.

€17 topshop

Who? Princess Diana When? July 1981 What? This enormous, ivory silk

meringue is perhaps, the most iconic of wedding dresses. The huge Elizabeth and David Emanual wedding dress spawned a thousand copies with its billowing veil, endless train and frilled, puff sleeves. With Kate Middleton and Prince William set to marry next month, all eyes will be on Kate’s dress, with comparisons between Kate and Diana’s wedding dresses inevitable.

Summer Reverie

spend summer days dreaming in goddess gowns with flowers a plenty. while away afternoons by the river, and tea parties outdoors in sweetly - whimsical eccentric ensembles like only alice in wonderland would.

models: amie stack, Jennifer Larkin, john vereker. hair and make – up : laura hastings girls styled & directed by kathryn o’ regan john styled & directed by andrew mcdonnell, contributing stylist: aine kiely

amie wears, dress €50 - turquoise flamingo, washington street,hat €20 turquoise flamingo, shoes €21 - penneys, necklace - alice halliday @turquoise flamingo. jennifer wears, green dress €114 - amity shoes €23 - penneys, flower hairband €3 - penneys, corsage €1.50 - penneys, diamante hairband, stylist’s own. john wears, blazer €290, chino €100, tee €35, all ted baker

jennifer wears, blue dress €94 - amity boutique, french church street, green jacket €68 - amity, shoes €23 - penneys, scarf €38 - amity, bag €62 - amity long pink necklace €5 - penneys, brooches, hat, bracelet, socks – stylist’s own

john wears, shorts €55, shirt €100 tee €35, all from ted baker

Fashion

Andrew McDonnell

fashion@motley.ie

MEN’S SPRING/SUMMER 2011 FASHION TRENDS this is the very last issue of motley this year - appropriate then is the inclusion of spring/summer trends for men’s fashions. while i delve into specific trends below i will inform you of the general ‘trends’ first. colour this year is all about light, neutral tones. grey is very big this season as are muted primary colours, specifically blues, think ‘powder blue’, yellow and red/pink hues with mauve and green making a significant appearance but to a lesser degree. moreover the fit has a vibe of ‘relaxed country’ as i like to call it. fit in a general sense has a loose, draped look with emphasis on outdoors, laid-back suave. © style.com

The Flared trouser

Random right? Seen in many of the runway collections of Spring/ Summer 2011 was the flare/bell-bottomed trouser. Previous collections of noughties past crowned the skinny trousers as king of the trouser trend. Be it chino or jean, skinny was in. The reintroduction of a flared style is popular in fashion, i.e. a trend reemerging from decades past-the 80s anyone? The use of the term ‘bell-bottom’ may conjure up images of umbrella shaped legs but this is a far more subtle approach. Fits slightly less flared than boot cut and tighter in the waist/thigh are bang on trend. Slight flares are just the beginning in this year S/S collections. I suspect next year the width will only grow. Examples of this trend can be seen in collections such as: ACNE, Bottega Veneta, Dries Van Noten, Dior and Gucci.

Editor’s opinion personally i love my skinny jeans and so this trend is not one i will jumping on any time soon. perhaps this is a good thing for those who can’t wear skinnies as easily. wide-leg trousers are just not flattering on me and also i have a tendency to tuck my skinnies into my shoes or turn up the hem, neither of which is feasible on flared fitting trousers so i think it’s safe to say i’m biased.

This season has seen the striking re-emergence of the ever-popular men’s blazer. In keeping with the very ‘relaxed’ vibe of this season the blazer can be worn either in casual or formal settings, giving it optimal versatility in style. Suits and very formal wear are toned down with the blazer taking front stage in formal wear. Tee and shorts paired with a blazer was a popular fixture at many of the S/S shows. Single-breasted, structured and containing few buttons are attributes of the S/S 2011 blazer. Of course besides tailoring, the colour is the most important aspect. Green, blue and grey are this season’s hottest colours. Grey in particular is seen in almost every S/S show. Designers such as Ermenegildo Zegna, Ted Baker, Loden Dager, Timo Weiland, Dolce & Gabbana, Prada and Patrik Erveil as well as many other designers have strongly incorporated the blazer in their S/S 2011 collections.

Editor’s opinion

the blazer is one of my absolute favourite pieces, which is why i included it in this months photo-shoot with spring/summer trends in mind. i feel it is one of the pieces which really are the centrepiece of an outfit. the blazer is an essential buy if you want to be on trend this year.

PATTERN/PRINT: This year’s collection the introduction of odd patterns, from skulls, leopard print, classic checks, stripes, plaid and floral prints to completely random concoctions. Prints are found on almost every piece from tees, blazers and shorts to trousers. This season it seems a strong focus is placed on a level of individualism for the designers themselves. Through the use of an entirely innovative print/pattern an item can be easily identified as from a specific collection. Designers such as Ermenegildo Zegna, Rag & Bone, Luis Vuitton and Ted Baker are just a few of the designers who have embraced quirky patterns and prints.

Editor’s opinion

i am a fan of prints & patterns done right and on the right piece. for example, crazy patterns on shirts, for myself, don’t work. there is too much going on and it distracts. subtle approaches are far more desirable. heavy patterns work best in shorts and some tees.

Sheer Fabric A look usually associated with womenswear has now transitioned in the menswear field. The transparent look was donned by a surprisingly large number of designers in the Spring/Summer 2011 shows. Most notably Burberry and Costume National, which both opted for subtle translucency with on trend neutral colours. Louis Vuitton on the other hand incorporated heavy prints with overtly translucent fabric. This look is not one commonly seen in previous seasons. The inclusion of this trend opens up new avenues for men’s fashion. Designers such as Calvin Klein, John Varvatos and Kris Van Assche all infused sheer fabric into their recent collections. © style.com © style.com

Editor’s opinion

personally this look is one i can get behind. not just because it might give me some motivation to go to the gym (sheer = see through = eek!) but because it is an exciting prospect in the men’s fashion sphere, particularly for creating innovative pieces sheer fabric could work so great. the consistency is bright and shiny and at the end of the day if you don’t want to show anything a black tee underneath will take that worry away.

*Editor’s Fashion Designer Picks*

bottega veneta Quickly becoming one of my favourite designers. Not only is the collection this season amazing, so are previous years. Initially beginning life away from fashion in 1966 to its first men’s runway show in June 2006. Bottega Veneta was purchased from the Gucci group in February 2001. Creative Director Tomas Maier joined the team and transformed the brand. He presented his first collection, for Spring/ Summer 2002, that Autumn. He removed visible logos from the brand’s products, highlighted the signature intrecciato weave prominently, and returned the company’s focus to artisanal production. The result is a subtly luxurious and stylish product without the pretentious logo on full display. The current collection encompasses Italian style and fuses sporty casual with trendy city-slick style. Looks varied from suit smart to beach casual, however the overall colour pallet and design of the pieces create cohesion, which is essential for a collection. The only downside is the inclusion of leather. Leather of course is a choice, and I for one want to see it removed from runways.