Amazing would be an understatement.... by Brooklyn Wade aka AJ Menendez on Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at 11:50am ∙
I've been playing around with pictures of current events over the past few days, and it suddenly hit me how very different things are now. I'm actually having fun, smiling and laughing now..People around me are doing the same and I no longer feel like an outcast. The clouds have parted not only from above my head, but within my bran. I find myself amazed at times by the serenity I feel even in the mists of madness of every day life. It's mind boggling to say the very least. I wish to God I could explain it into words that "normal" drinkers can understand but I can't. I get days like this where reality strikes and reminds me that I DON'T MISS ANY OF IT, I don't miss the hangovers, I don't miss the sound of the ice cracking in the glass, I don't miss the taste of the numb feeling that comes with each shot. I don't miss the smell of it, or the warm feeling it gives you as it hits the pit of my stomach. I spent over 20 years consuming bottle after bottle, it became my favorite pass time, and yet over an 11 month period of time, I've managed to get to this point. I can actually function now without the bottle. I don't always like it, but I do it and it feels amazing. I can control my urges (and YES they DO come from time to time) and I don't have to worry about wondering what kinda shit I got into the night before. I've come to cherish "life" in general, the people around me and my sobriety more than words can ever express. I view my life then and compare it to my life now, and I can honestly say without a single shadow of a doubt that "I don't miss the old days and would much rather continue living in the here and now....." I have friends and family whom I never want to disappoint, let down or piss off again due to my drinking, I have a wife whom I adore and never want to hurt again because I was mean, disrespectful and selfish. I have a life worth living now and I have no intention of sacrificing any of it for a shot that'll ultimately kill me in the long run..Nah....I don't miss it at all