ONLINE SUCCESS

After moving to Florida at the age of 59 to be closer to family, Gwen Randle, of Morriston, Florida, took proactive steps toward meeting men. Sometimes that worked better than others.

She attended a singles dance once a week in The Villages. She found the atmosphere a little “intense” at times but met an interesting variety of men, including one she dated steadily for about 18 months before realizing his unreliability was due to alcoholism.

Gwen, who was busily working as a graphic artist at the time, decided to try online dating.

She ended up corresponding with several di erent men and followed some guidelines to stay safe, such as asking for their number instead of giving hers and only calling from her cell phone.

A few of those conversations were memorable, such as the man who told her in the first phone call that he couldn’t urinate without a catheter, the man who claimed he and his ex-wife only had sex twice in their 20-year marriage and that he stayed because he liked his in-laws or the guy who confessed he was still trying to reconcile with his wife.

“I started an email chain with an interesting gentleman who was in Florida half the year and the Midwest the other half. I had almost agreed to meet him in person but balked at doing so at a nudist colony,” Gwen laughs. “I was reluctant to be naked the first time I met someone, so declined the invitation and never heard back.”

It wasn’t until after the nudist that she heard from a di erent man who sounded intriguing, but Gwen was so busy with work, it wasn’t until about a month later that they met one afternoon at a public park where Gwen, who plays guitar, and her friends were jamming.

Turns out the gentleman played the mandolin, although he hadn’t brought it that day. They went to dinner and discovered another mutual passion: horses and riding. Charlie and Gwen kept dating, eventually got engaged and, in 2016, celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary

“You can meet a lot of strange people online,” admits Gwen, “but once in a while, there’s a gem.”

Friends First

“After my ex-husband and I split, I had sworn o men and wasn’t interested in dating at all,” recalls Martha Pullian of Hernando, Florida.

One of her friends, a man she’d known through her job as a restaurant manager, was roommate, she thought it might be a solution. What clinched the deal was that Don was fine with Martha bringing her dog. She moved in the week before Christmas 1999.

Although both were busy working, they occasionally did things together as friends—eating together if they were home at the same time, riding bikes, chatting about common interests.

“Then my dog died, which was horrible, but we went through the whole thing together, and that made a really strong bond,” says Martha. “I still wasn’t looking for a guy, but the traumatic death of my dog, who was my best friend, kind of turned the tide. I saw this side of Don I didn’t realize was there, the kindness and little things he would do. It wasn’t a physical relationship to start with; it was a friendship, so that laid a good foundation.” now that’s a real treat.’ That’s so appropriate and true for us. Don’s the greatest guy in the world, and our marriage has just gotten stronger over the years.”

The friendship evolved into dating by the end of January; the couple married March 10, 2001.

OPEN HEART, OPEN MIND

You’ve no doubt heard the saying, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans.” As these stories remind us, there’s plenty of truth in that sentence.

“When we’re dating, we put a tremendous amount of time into thinking about it as if we have control over it,” Sills says with a laugh.

“It’s great to talk to your girlfriends, make a list about what you don’t want and so forth. This is all good anxiety reduction and makes you feel you have control, but in real life, you hope to meet someone meaningful and fear that when you do, he will disrupt your life. Because of course he will.

“Dating is a risk. Love is a risk, but it’s a risk worth taking,” says Sills. “Don’t be so hard on yourself as to assume there’s a ‘right’ way or a ‘wrong’ way. It’s good to remember that romance, even bad dates, and falling in love with someone who never calls again—all of this is being alive and out in the world.

“It means you’re o your couch and out in the arena. Nothing that interesting happens at home on your couch—unless you’re there with someone special!”

Whether you’ve been “set up” by friends or are meeting someone from online, a little planning can ease first date jitters and keep you safe at the same time.

Meet in public. It should go without saying, but don’t give someone you don’t know your home address. Meet at a public spot with your own transportation.

Keep it short. Plan to meet for co ee or a walk in the park, something that won’t take more than an hour. You can always extend the time if you “click,” but if not, you won’t be stuck there for hours.

Have an escape plan. Tell a trusted friend where you’re going and how long you’ll be there. Ask them to call or text at a certain time to check in.

Do a background check. In this era of instant technology an online background check is easy and inexpensive. If you think this makes you suspicious, reassure yourself that you’re just being smart. (It may not be necessary for a first date, but definitely if you think the relationship has the potential of progressing into something serious.)

*name has been changed to protect privacy

Kayla Reidle

Bariatric Surgery Patient

When it’s time for surgery, you can count on the team at Ocala Regional Medical Center and West Marion Community Hospital. Whether you have your surgery same-day or inpatient, our team is ready to care for you before, during and after. We want you to have the best surgical experience possible, so we make sure we’re providing a safe environment and guide you and your family through the process with care. With minimally invasive surgeries available, patients experience better results and quicker recovery. Some of our surgeries are also available with robotic-assisted technology.

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We Proudly Welcome Kathleen

Dpm

Dr. Kathleen Telusma grew up in Orlando, Florida. She remained in Orlando for her college education where she received a BS in molecular biology and microbiology from the University of Central Florida. She went on to continue her medical education in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, at Temple University where she earned her Doctorate in Podiatric Medicine. Dr. Telusma went on to finish her medical training by completing her surgical residency at the Atlanta VA Medical Center. Upon the conclusion of residency, she sought to return to Central Florida for practice. She is now happy to be the newest addition to Family Foot and Ankle. She treats a variety of foot and ankle pathologies with interests, including dermatology, wound care, bunions, hammertoes and heel pain.