APPRECIATING THE FRENULUM LINGUAE

Forget what you’ve been taught, you can’t swallow your tongue

WRITER: FRED HILTON

When I was about 20, I was killing time at a store’s magazine section, checking out the Playmate of the Month when a fellow nearby crumpled to the floor. His eyes rolled back and his arms and legs began wildly thrashing in the air. We all knew he was having some kind of violent seizure but no one had the slightest idea what to do. The mood in the store ranged from sheer panic to absolute hysteria. Finally, one wise-looking man yelled out: “Put something in his mouth or he’ll swallow his tongue!”

One of the store’s clerks quickly dashed to the back room and returned carrying a big paintbrush, which he promptly stuffed into the mouth of the poor fellow having the seizure. A minute or two later, the man returned to normal and the flailing stopped. He hadn’t swallowed his tongue and seemed no worse for the ordeal, other than a touch of Sherwin-Williams’ cherry tomato red paint on his teeth.

DID YOU KNOW?

Now older and presumably wiser, I realize the man was never in danger of swallowing his tongue. It can’t be done and the experts all agree. “Contrary to popular belief, it is not possible to swallow your tongue,” according to Science Myths. The article adds the cutesy qualifier that it can happen only if you cut your tongue off and swallow it.

The New York Times concurs: “Swallowing the tongue is virtually impossible. In the human mouth, a small piece of tissue called the frenulum linguae, which sits behind the teeth and under the tongue, keeps the tongue in place, even during a seizure.”

The Times cited Ryan Brett, the director of education for the Epilepsy Institute in New York, who said people witnessing a seizure often reach for a wallet, a spoon, or a dirty object to stick in the person’s mouth. “The only thing that happens when something is put in the mouth is you end up cutting someone’s gums or injuring the teeth,” Brett said.

The best way to help is to roll the person on one side to drain fluids from the mouth and cushion the head to prevent cranial injuries. And seek medical help if necessary. Don’t try to restrain a person having a seizure. Move objects away from them so they won’t injure themselves.

Save your paint brush to put a coat of cherry tomato red paint on that icky bathroom wall.