IGNORANCE IS JUST AS PAINFUL

BY JAMES COMBS

I’ve always wondered what triggers people with chronic pain to commit suicide. Is it the pain itself, or is it having to endure the ignorance of others?

In some cases, it’s definitely the latter.

That’s especially true for people with “invisible” illnesses. Someone with an invisible illness is not bald from chemotherapy, wheelchair-bound from multiple sclerosis, or incredibly weak and thin from AIDS. Nor are they missing any limbs. Because there is no outward sign of illness or disease, people become overly suspicious when these patients complain of chronic pain.

Doctors may label them pillseekers. Family members may label them lazy. Friends may label them hypochondriacs.

Truth is, they’re none of the above. They are simply desperate to regain some semblance of a normal life. And when there are no medications or surgeries available to provide them with long-lasting relief, all hope seems lost. They’ve become a shell of their former selves, buried beneath all the physical pain and suddenly unable to work or participate in activities they once enjoyed.

But they are not simply battling chronic pain; they are battling the stigma that accompanies it. Try remembering a time in your life when you felt debilitating pain. Maybe it was from a car accident or sports injury. Life probably wasn’t very enjoyable until your pain subsided.

Now, imagine what your life would be like if that pain was constant. Imagine going to a doctor’s office because you’re desperate for relief, only to be called a drug addict and told that the pain is all in your head. Imagine trying to open up to family members or friends, only to be told you are useless and lazy or simply not trying hard enough. As a defense mechanism, you detach and isolate yourself from everyone, which abruptly turns into a world of loneliness and darkness. Now, trying to cope by yourself made your aches even more painful because you live in a world with little knowledge of what you’re going through and even less knowledge of how to connect with you.

And then you hear constant disapproval of the way you’re coping.

“You nap too much.”

“Crying isn’t going to help.”

“You’re on way too many medications.”

That doesn’t sound very fun, does it? Yet, that’s the sad reality endured by many chronic pain patients.

I cannot say this enough: If you’ve never suffered from a disease or illness affecting a chronic pain patient, then you have absolutely no right to be judgmental. And try using a little bit of common sense. Do you really think these people enjoy going from one doctor to another while shelling out lots of money? Do you think they really prefer lying in bed on a hot summer day instead of being at the beach? Do you really think that a hardworking person wakes up one morning and decides to fake illness so he or she can collect disability (which, by the way, doesn’t pay squat)?

Nobody is asking you to coddle and baby a chronic pain patient, but you should show more empathy and less ignorance toward their situation. A little understanding can go a long way in helping them maintain the strength to continue fighting and give them peace of mind knowing they are not alone in this daily struggle.