GOODBYE, FRIEND: HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH PET LOSS

WRITER: CHRISTINA SUZANN NELSON

Every parent wants to protect their children but when a pet dies, there’s no good way around the hurt. All you can do is walk through it with them and help them move on when the time is right. Here are a few ideas that may help.

Give your children a chance to say goodbye. Each child will respond to the loss differently, but it’s important they be given the opportunity. A simple service where family members share special memories can be the first step toward healing.

Don’t tell your child the pet has gone to live somewhere else. Stories like these have a way of unraveling, leaving your child questioning your trustworthiness. If the animal is suffering and the choice is made to put the pet to sleep, explain clearly what this means. Be sure your child understands their pet will not be waking up, the heart actually stops with the veterinarian’s medication, and the animal dies.

Make a memory. Consider letting the child make a special collage from pictures of their pet. They can decorate their creation and hang it somewhere to remember the good times they shared. Make this art time a positive experience by providing fun stickers, glitter, and markers to add color to the project. Mount the collage in a frame and display it in a special location, maybe near your pet’s favorite spot.

Give it some time before getting a new pet. When the child seems ready, get them involved in the process. Talk about what you’re looking for in a pet. Be specific. If there are size or breed restrictions, be clear with your child about these. Remind him or her before you visit an animal shelter or pet shop that you’re just looking. This will help if the right match isn’t available. For many children, the loss of a pet is their first experience with grief. Showing children it’s okay to be sad is important for their development. It’s also vital you model how to move forward while not forgetting the good memories.

With your guidance, your child can step through this tough time and come out a more compassionate and caring person.