COPING WITH A SIGNIFICANT LOSS LIVING BEYOND THE DEATH OF A SPOUSE

When your husband or wife dies, there’s no doubt it is a life-changing event. Moving past the death of a spouse may be exceptionally difficult. The grieving process can be long and confusing. Learning how to cope with grief is important, and the following steps can help you grieve in a healthy and productive way.

Accept What Cannot Be Changed

When a spouse dies, it is a permanent change. Accepting the changes can be difficult. Difficulty accepting a death is understandable; however, accepting the death of a loved one can help you move forward.

Talk To People Close To You

Talking through your feelings and emotions is a positive way to deal with them. It is not unusual to experience unknown feelings following the death of a loved one. Find someone you trust who will let you say whatever you want without judgement or negativity.

Let Yourself Feel

After a spouses’ death, it is common to feel anger, sadness, and fear. It can be useful and productive to acknowledge these emotions when they occur. Acknowledging and accepting your feelings is important to the healing process.

Ask For Help When Needed

Asking people who are close to you to listen to you talk about your spouse is a good way to celebrate his or her life. It is normal to think of your spouse often and to reminisce about your life together.

Give Yourself Time And Space To Heal

Healing is a personal journey, and it can take time. It is important to recognize the need for space or to be alone. You may find a change of surroundings is needed.

Start A Journal

Keeping a journal can be a powerful tool when dealing with the death of a loved one. A journal is a positive form of self-expression that is completely private. There is no need to share a journal or the thoughts you express. The days and weeks after a spouse’s death can be a blur and a journal can be nice to look back on.

Create Something To Celebrate Their Life

Creating a memory box, scrapbook, video, or another memento can help honor your spouse’s life. The creative process can fill difficult times with productive activity. Sharing your creation with family and friends can help everyone heal.

Avoid Making Major Decisions In The First Year

Making major decisions following a spouse’s death is difficult. Deferring decisions for at least one year may help avoid regrets later. It is important to remember rash decisions cannot be undone.

Join A Support Group

A support group is a good way to meet new people who understand your feelings. It can be a relief to talk to others who have experienced the same things you have. Members of support groups are often at different stages in the healing process, making them a valuable resource to one another.

Adopt A Pet

After the death of a spouse, a family home can feel empty and still. You may consider downsizing to avoid feelings of loneliness, but adopting a pet can also help.

Sharing your life with someone is a precious gift. Losing that person is not easy. But, by giving yourself the time and tools to heal you can learn to live as an individual again. Healing does not mean forgetting or letting go because you will always carry the memories of your spouse with you. Living without your spouse is difficult. However, healing does mean honoring your spouses’ memory by carrying on in their absence.