TREASURE THE HERE AND NOW WITH YOUR KIDS

Kids want presence more than presents

WRITER: MONISHA VASA, M.D.

What will my children remember most about childhood? Will it be lessons I tried to impart about being a “good” person? What I taught them in terms of academics and proper study habits? Outings to get ice cream after school, or taking naps together on a Sunday afternoon?

It’s difficult to say what decisions and behaviors impact our children most.

Kids love receiving gifts and being spoiled with treats. But when it comes down to it, they value our time and presence most. They value doing activities together, whether it’s reading, going for a walk or driving back and forth from school.

I am painfully aware that spending time with me won’t always be No. 1 on my kids’ priority list. Already, my daughter prefers to close the door to her bedroom and read alone, rather than next to me in the family room. My son is asking about sleeping over at his friend’s home.

percent of children feel their parents are sometimes distracted when they want to talk to them. The No. 1 distraction? Technology — particularly cell phones.

We’ll wake up one day and our little ones will be adults. We’ll wonder where the time went, and we’ll miss the requests for one more story or snack before bed.

When we speak of mindful parenting, we speak of being aware of the present moment. Sometimes, when you are exhausted and have a screaming, sleep-deprived, hungry child in mid-tantrum, that present moment is not so wonderful. But if we can find a sliver of gratitude, even the tiniest bit, or an iota of compassion for ourselves and our children, we can create a space to step back and observe the child in front of us, the parent within us, and all of the mixed beauty that can accompany that journey we embark on together.

We also create a space to realize that, thankfully, this moment won’t last forever ... and, at the same time, tragically, this moment won’t last forever.

TOP 5 THINGS STUDENTS AROUND THE WORLD SAID THEY REMEMBERED AND LOVED MOST ABOUT THEIR MOTHERS.

1. Come into my bedroom at night, tuck me in and sing me a song. Also tell me stories about when you were little.

2. Give me hugs and kisses and sit and talk with me privately.

3. Spend quality time just with me, not with my brothers and sisters around.

4. Give me nutritious food so I can grow up healthy.

— Abigail Van Buren

5. we could do on

5. At dinner talk about what we could do together on the weekend.

“If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time, and half as much money.”