SYNE

Teen Spirit

P.A.T. will help you reach your teen.

WRITER: GREG FRESCOLN

Teens eventually transition from feeling comfortable about sharing problems with parents to an age where they only discuss problems with peers.

After the transformation occurs, your teen may tell you nothing is wrong when something is clearly bothering them. Getting them to open up can be achieved in a variety of ways.

• EXAMINE YOUR POSTURE.

If you walk into your child’s room and stand there with your arms crossed, it can be seen as defensive and convey you really don’t want to talk. Uncross those arms, sit down and look at them at eye level. Lean slightly forward and really listen to what they are saying.

• EXAMINE YOUR OWN ATTITUDE.

Parents often approach teens when they are angry about something. Try to have conversations with your teen when there isn’t an agenda. Share something funny that happened at work, or something you heard on the radio or news. Perhaps you can discuss neighborhood and community events. If you walk in angry, the teen will become angry too and mirror your posture and attitude.

• THINK ABOUT THE WAY YOU ARE FRAMING QUESTIONS.

Listen to the tone of your voice, the words you are using and the way you are emphasizing dialogue. As you hear yourself, ask if you would want to talk to you.