Underground sage-grouse fighting ring busted
Court date set after May 15, witnesses busy lek counting
Jacobius Seltzer Chat GPTimes Writer
The Gunnison community was shocked to learn that the local newspaper, the GPT Times, had been hiding a sagegrouse fighting ring in its basement.
According to sources, the ring had been operating for several years and had attracted participants from across the region. The Gunnison Police Department were alerted to the illegal activity after receiving an anonymous tip and conducted a raid on the newspaper's offices.
During the raid, authorities
Grouse ring 50A
OUTSIDE TOMORROW
City cuts deal, Target to replace 100 homes
Staff heed call for lower housing prices at Hyper Z
SUNNY WITH A CHANCE OF sage-grouse meatballs, check out recipe on A2.
We are expecting a mix of sun and clouds throughout the day, with scattered showers and thunderstorms in some areas, unless you’re in one of our many donut holes. In that case, good luck to you.
Temperatures might be in the mid-50’s, depending on where you are. One minute, you may be basking in the sun, and the next, you could be caught in a sudden downpour. That’s just the nature of the weather tomorrow and yesterday... and today.
Make sure to keep an umbrella handy, as well as a light jacket or down coat, in case the temperatures suddenly drop. If you don’t like the weather conditions, just wait five minutes.
SERIOUS NEWS A3
PERSONAL VIEWS A6-A7
BUY AND SELLABLES A18-A21
SWEATY RECREATION B7
Belicimo Bellini Chat GPTimes Writer
Target has announced a new partnership with the City of Gunnison affordable housing board, providing much-needed funding in order to reduce housing costs, in exchange for the rights to develop its new location on the Gunnison Rising subdivision
land. The deal was announced on Monday, marking a significant milestone for both the city and the local community. Hyper Z has been under a lot of scrutiny over what ‘affordable’ means in terms of purchasing a home. Enter Target Corporation, who saw an opportunity to not only help the Hyper Z residents, but also secure a large tax break by writing off their Hyper Z purchase with the IRS. Target will provide funding for the development, which will help fund the construction of new affordable homes, lowering the housing
WCU on track for new name in 2024
students and the institution’s commitment to fostering a transformative state of mind.
In a bold move, Western Colorado University has announced that it will change its name (again) in 2024 to “Western State,” as a reflection of the increasing amount of Gen Z
The decision was made after a five years-long process of consultation and feedback from the university community, including students, faculty, staff and alumni. Although, in an
effort to fund their fourth (or tenth?) name change, the board has decided to partner with Jeff Besos, who will provide robots with advanced AI knowledge to replace all professors and staffs members. A change in state of mind, indeed.
IN THE MATRIX GUNNISONTIMES.COM VOL. 142. NO. 13 | APRIL 1, 2023 | $1,000,000,000.00 NEWS WORTH GOOGLING SINCE 1998 SUBSCRIBE NOW SUPPORT USING YOUR WORDS NEWS: Little Big Creek Canyon project extended to 2040, 3ABC
Hyper Z 70A
No longer a university, just a state of mind
Harrison Schmoo Chat GPTimes Writer
On the hunt for a breath of fresh air? Take aim at the No’ Mo. An oxygen-only smokin’ bar. On the hunt for a breath of fresh air? Take aim at the No’ Mo. An oxygen-only smokin’ bar. Conveniently located next to the Alamo Saloon.
on some new genes today. Therapy... for your genes.
Do you wish you could upgrade your DNA like you upgrade your phone? Say hello to CRISPR, the gene editing technology that can turn your genetic code from basic to brilliant! Try
Belicimo Bellini
Some In-house Photographer
Local journalists cheer as the final two championship grouse, “Big Chicken” and “One-Eyed Stan,” fight ‘till the end. Large sums of money were bet on the results of the fight, but police eventually seized the money and have since donated it to the Upper Gunnison Water Conservancy District.
IN LENGTH
City manager position outsource
The city has outsourced the hiring process for a new city manager to Vail Resorts, who has chosen a first-year ski instructor from Vail to fill the role with a $500,000 salary and housing. He will be working remotely, under the mentorship of the former City Manager, Rusty Trees.
The Great Cream Scream
Five new ice cream/smoothie shops simultaneously opened up all over town over the weekend in what officials have called the “Great Cream Scream of
DINNER
2023.” When the Chamber of Commerce was approached for comment on why there’s so much frozen food, but not a normal dive bar within city limits, the agency responded by email “I freaking love ice cream.”
New events for Cattlemen’s Weeks
After 122 years of tradition, the Cattlemen’s Committee has decided to spice this year’s rodeo up with some new events. Some include: Stick horse barrel racing, hula hoop steer wrestling, human calf roping and toilet seat bronc riding.
Gunnison sagey-grouse meatballs
Soup and salad ‘bowl’ slated for Gunnison
Vacant property fee forces owners to reimagine space
Sydney Retupmoc ChatGPTimes Writer
A new bowling alley is set to open in downtown Gunnison later this year, after the owners of the property were hit with a significant increase in vacant property fees.
The owners began exploring new uses for the space, and soon hit upon the idea of opening a bowling alley.
According to the owners, the decision was driven by a desire to create a fun and exciting new venue in the heart of downtown
Gunnison, while also providing a much-needed boost to the local economy.
“We saw this as an opportunity to create something special for the community, while also helping to revitalize the downtown area,” said the owners in a statement.
The new bowling alley, which will still be called “Timbers,” is set to open later this year. The owners have already begun renovating the space, which will feature six lanes, a soup and salad bar and a variety of other amenities.
Houseboats to provide affordable housing solution
Ingredients:
1 lb locally harvested, ground Gunnison sage-grouse
2 lbs freshly picked, chopped and cut sage herb
1/2 cup breadcrumbs from locally baked sourdough bread
1/4 cup melted, cooled and re-melted Parmesan cheese
1/4 cup fresh parsley or cilantro if you cant tell the difference
2 whole bundles elephant head garlic from a vampire lair
1 egg, lightly laid and kept warm for three hours
1 cup salt, or more depending on how salty you’re feeling
1/2 tsp black pepper
Olive oil, for slippin’ and slidin
Instructions:
Preheat the oven to 375°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large mixing bowl, combine the ground grouse, breadcrumbs, Parmesan cheese, parsley, garlic, egg, salt, and pepper. Mix well until all ingredients are evenly distributed. Roll the mixture into 1 1/2-inch meatballs and place them onto the prepared baking sheet.
Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat and add enough olive oil to coat the bottom of the pan.
Working in batches, add the meatballs to the skillet and cook until browned on all sides, about 2-3 minutes per side. Transfer the browned meatballs to the prepared baking sheet and bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes or until cooked through.
Serve the meatballs warm with your favorite dipping sauce, pasta, or rice.
Enjoy your delicious Gunnison sage-grouse meatballs, preferably without moral disturbance!
What in the Gunni?
Blue Mesa to allow seasonal workers to live on water and enjoy scenic views
Sydney Retupmoc ChatGPTimes Writer
In an effort to solve the affordable housing crisis that plagues the Gunnison Valley during peak tourist season, local officials have announced that they will allow houseboats to be moored at Blue Mesa Reservoir.
The initiative aims to provide a new and affordable housing option for seasonal workers, who often struggle to find affordable accommodation in the valley during the busy summer months.
The plan is to allow houseboats to be moored at designated areas of the reservoir during the summer months. The houseboats will be required to meet certain safety and environmental standards, such as proper sewage disposal and adherence to fire codes.
Local officials hope that the addition of houseboats will help alleviate some of the pressure on the local housing market and provide an attractive alternative to traditional housing options.
“Houseboats offer a unique and exciting opportunity for seasonal workers to live on the water and experi-
ence the beauty of our valley from a new perspective,” said Gunnison Mayor Pluto Diega.
“We believe that this initiative will not only help address the housing issue but also contrib-
ute to the overall quality of life for our residents and visitors.”
The move has also been welcomed by local business owners who struggle to find and retain employees due to the high cost of living in the area.
“Finding affordable housing for our employees has been a major challenge for us, and we are thrilled to see the addition of houseboats as a new option,” said restaurant owner. “It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved, and we hope to see more initiatives like this in the future.”
The Gunnison County Commissioners are currently working on finalizing the details of the initiative, including the location of designated mooring areas and the safety and environmental regulations that will be in place.
A2 • NEWS • Thursday, April 1, 2023 Gunnison Country Times
A new sign, keeping the same name, was just installed and doors are set to open by July.
A rendering showing what it may be like this summer on the lake.
Finding affordable housing for our employees has been a major challenge for us, and we are thrilled to see the addition of houseboats as a new option.
Tom Johnson
Local business owner
Jacobius Seltzer
A different photographer
on 57A Continued on 51A
Continued
