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Find Balance through Boundaries By Woodrie Burich
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e’ve been chasing work-life balance for decades. Individually, we have contrived all sorts of personal improvements, process improvements, and time efficiencies—and we’ve exhausted ourselves in our efforts to find it. Organizations have spent millions of dollars implementing wellness programs, hiring consultants, and establishing training and learning development centers in order to create it. And yet… balance remains elusive. It’s because we are chasing the wrong thing. Instead of seeking balance, we need to put our attention on boundaries. Why? Because balance is what arises after we focus and integrate our boundaries.
Balance Is the Outcome; Boundaries Are the Path Balance is externally focused. When I focus on balance, I assume I need to create some perfection externally or that somehow I need to align myself to some vision of a balanced life—out there somewhere—sometime in the future. Balance is something to be created, to be chased. Viewed this way, balance can be seen as an illusion. When I used to focus on creating balance, I would meticulously weigh 104 | J u l y 2 0 2 2
all the activities around me, pick and choose the ones I could remove, and then try to align myself to some imagined ideal in the future. This would set me up for failure time and time again, because the variables would always change. Situations would shift. Balance, even if found within a single blissful moment, is fleeting (at best). Boundaries, though—that’s where my power lies. Boundaries are within my locus of control. They are always focused and centered in the now. Back when I was spending all my time focused on creating balance, the real question I needed to ask myself was: What boundaries do I need to set to keep myself strong, energized, and clear—in this moment—right now?
Exercise: Individual and Team Reflections That single question has two key components. Specifically, do I have the tools and knowledge to access and answer what my needs are in relation to both my boundaries and my “now”? For a deeper dive, I like to break out the components: • My Boundaries: Here I need to figure out the boundaries that I (or my team) require. To answer this effectively, I need definitions, context, language, and tools for identifying, setting, and maintaining boundaries. I also Alaska Business
need the confidence and skills to set my boundaries within different external conditions (i.e. environment and situation). • My Now: Here I need to figure out what is really going on in this moment. What needs are asking to be met and honored right now? To answer this effectively, I need an ability to connect with and be aware of the needs of myself and everyone around me. I need listening skills. Empathy. Awareness. These skills, acquired through strong personal leadership development, can help set me up for success with this part of the question. These skills, along with my depth of connection (to self and others), are ultimately what allow me to articulate and set healthy boundaries that honor the needs of all parties: my own needs, the needs of my team, and the needs of the moment. Balance can be alluring—it seems like such a fun and easy space to play in compared to boundaries. It’s much easier to simply keep moving the chess pieces around than to actually focus on the mindset, belief patterns, or actions of the chess players themselves. Boundaries are hard. Boundaries are the ability to validate and vocalize our “authentic yes” and “authentic no.” They require w w w .a k b iz m a g .c o m
