Alice Magazine by Sorted Design Studio CC

The love expressed between women is particular and powerful, because we have had to love in order to live; love has been our survival. - AUDRE LORDE

WELC I

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COME w w w

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WHAT’SINSIDE?

CONTENTSISSUE6

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8 KZN FASHION SHOW 10 SURVIVING OPEN HEART SURGERY 12 THE LIONESS AND THE HYENA 14 SPOTLIGHT: ESJAY JONES 18 SIX SENSUAL SENSE 20 A-Z OF GAY WEDDINGS 24 WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER TIPS 25 WIN: AFROKWAZI 26 COVER GIRL: SADE GILIBERTI 34 DINAH SHORE 37 THE GAY AGENDA 38 LIZELLE VERTEL 41 ABOUT A GIRL: LARA AUCAMP 43 50 SHADES OF PINK 46 INTERVIEW WITH KAREN FULLERTON 47 HOW TO DRINK WHISKY 49 WIN: MIND YOUR BUSINESS 50 THINGS FROM WONDERLAND 52 FASHION TIPS FROM ZANDO 58 CREATIVE: POEMS 60 CREATE: DIY 62 HOW TO SAVE THE WORLD 64 ASK BERNICE 65 SUBSCRIBE 66 GET FIT 68 ADRENALIN JUNKIE 69 ADVERT 70 INTERNATIONAL LGBT EVENTS 72 WIN: BUCKET LIST 73 LIZZY THE LEZZIE 74 NOT WHAT I PREDICTED 76 ON THE COUCH WITH DR TINA 78 SAPHHIC SISTER 82 WHERE TO EAT 84 MADAME ZINGARA 86 REVIEWS: BOOKS & THEATRE 87 REVIEWS: MUSIC & MOVIES 88 CLASSY FINDS 90 INTERESTING PLACES TO MMM

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aliCE ED

ord from wonderland

fter much antici…. pation, long hours, sleepless nights and comfort eating we are relieved and overjoyed to announce the re-birth of Alice, our new baby. Alice Issue 06 has arrived!

This may very well have been the shortest adoption in history! Every day our bond with Alice gets stronger as we better equip ourselves to look after her. Alice is very lucky, she has YOU, a sister or aunty to help nurture and shape her into the woman we would like her to become. Some of you may already be familiar with Alice. As the proud new parents, we are slowly introducing small content changes to ensure Alice remains balanced. New additions include Wedding content, Create, Creative, Motivational, Sport, Fun Stuff and a very pleasurable read on the last page. I thoroughly enjoyed catching up with ex- Durbanite, Esjay Jones. Esjay is working with some of the world’s top musicians in the US. Kudos to her. Judith interviewed Karen Fullerton, the successful international spokesperson for Glenmoranjie whisky. We were also treated to a private whisky tasting with Karen and could have spent hours listening to her rich Scottish accent. Colette Bodenstaff (left) & Judith Nel

WIN WIN WIN • • • •

Ingersoll watch from Afrokwazi p. 25 Mind your business p.49 Beluga 2x R500 vouchers p. 82 Madame Zingara CT tickets on Facebook p. 84

WIN WIN WIN

Six Sensual Sense will come in handy for some summer love seduction - page 18. Don’t miss Caron Laubscher’s amusing article on why alcohol and cell-phones aren’t a good combination – page 74. Enter our fantastic competitions and WIN: • A beautiful Ingersoll watch of your choice to the value of R6 000.00 from Afrokwazi Jewellers. • 2 Lucky readers will each win a R500 voucher for a dinner for two at Beluga Cape Town and Durban. • A full page advertisement in Alice. Mind Your Own Business is for our readers who run or own their own business. We sincerely hope that you’ll enjoy this issue and look forward to a long and satisfying journey with you. Colette Bodenstaff Editor-in-ChiEf Sjoe! Colette en ek het Alice in Oktober by Willem oorgeneem en sowaar hier is sy 4 maande later! Willem, dankie dat jy Alice aan ons toevertrou het en dankie vir al jou hulp, raad en vriendskap. Ons sien uit daarna om te bou aan die fondasie wat jy reeds gelê het Willem. Ek wil graag vir Tanya Visser, redakteur van The Gardener en Die Tuinier, en haar hele span bedank vir al hul hulp en advies. Alice is ‘n spanbou poging van almal… Skrywers, ontwerpers, teksredakteure, fotograwe, grimeer kunstenaars, die lys is lank… Almal wat gehelp het om hierdie uitgawe op die rakke te bring; BAIE DANKIE. Dis ‘n voorreg om met soveel doel georiënteerde en hard werkende professionele mense te werk. Ek glo ons sal geseënd wees om ‘n lang paaidjie saam jul te stap. Ons is baie dankbaar vir al die ou en ook die nuwe adverteerders wat aan boord gekom het. Dis die eerste keer wat Alice se advertensie verkope syfer so hoog is! Ek en Donovan het hard gewerk aan die advertensie verkope, dankie Donovan. Kontak ons gerus indien jul belangstel om te adverteer, ons het die advertensie spasies so aangepas dat kleiner maatskappye ook nou kan bekostig om te adverteer in Alice. Daar is ‘n hele paar veranderings vir Alice in die pyplyn en ons sien uit daarna om dit stelselmatig aan jul voor te stel. Ons hoop van harte jul sal die uitgawe so baie geniet soos wat ons dit geniet het om aan haar te werk. Lekker lees! Judith Nel dEputy Editor

Legal disclaimer: The opinions expressed within are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Editors or staff of Alice Magazine. While all attempts have been made to verify the information provided in this publication, the publisher assumes no responsibility for errors, omissions, or contrary interpretations of the subject matters contained herein. w w w

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COMMUNITY

KZN LGBT Fashion Show a “Durban Lifestyle” By Siphokazi Nombande

uests were dazzled once again by fresh young MME models showcasing KZN’s LGBT Fashion in the “Durban Lifestyle”: a KZN LGBT Fashion Show, in November 2012 at Whilson’s Wharf at Catalina Theatre, The 2011 Street couture Fashion Show advanced to “Durban Lifestyle”: a KZN LGBT Fashion Show” featuring some of KZN’s best young and upcoming LGBT fashion designers. We saw the Fashion Show being a perfect platform for young and up-coming designers to showcase their talent, sewing skills and very unique taste of creativity as well as get exposure. The fashion show is a space for designers to be marketed, known and a place for scouts to find new talent. The objective is to engage young people in campaign activities that would allow them the freedom to express themselves, encourage individuals and discover potential entrepreneurs. Guests were lucky to be the first ones to buy their favorite items off the ramp. They also got a chance to talk to and even take a photo with their favorite designers. Eulender Cele, known as El’Aura a DUT Fashion & Textile Graduate. The winner of KZN LGBT Fashion Show 2012. The title for her range is “Beautiful Diversity”. It is inspired by the diversity of all races residing within Durban. We all know that Durban’s population is made up of more than just South Africans. “I chose to research the lives of Durbanites that come from other parts of Africa, focusing on the stories of the lands that they have left behind for the Durban lifestyle.” says Eulenda. “My research drew me to the stories of ancient Egyptian women, their attention to fashion and beauty, as well as their luxurious flowy gowns that accentuated their bodies ever so modestly,” she added. Her range is simple and it is for any woman who enjoys simple things. It’s for women who believes that beauty should be luxurious, but still maintain the feeling of being effortless. Portia Milazi, known as Colleen M, the first runner up of KZN LGBT Fashion Show 2012 , attended at Style Design Collage and DUT majoring in Fashion & Textile.

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She describes her range as romantic, elegant and sexy, everything any woman should be and anyone who loves style and feeling sexy can wear it. “I draw my inspiration from everything which surrounds me. Architecture, art and most important the roaring twenties,” says Colleen M. She does not limit herself ito specific clientele, she believes that fashion is universal. Charity Gumede, last year Fashion and textile student at Lindiwe Khuzwayo Academy the second runner up of KZN LGBT Fashion Show 2012. She created her range for a purpose of saving time after office hours. She looked at the broader picture and changed the normal range and started by designing Cooperate World to save time inbetween office hours and after hours, for a party with the clients. “My inspiration was my formal bag. It’s got the main colours for my range (red, black and white). I decided to change and break the rules of office uniform and make it more interesting, sexy, powerful, sophisticated and classy,” says Charity. Her range is created for everyone who is confident with their bodies and those who want to look and feel good about themselves. It comes in all sizes and one can wear it in the office or parties after work. “My range is powerful because of the dark colours used. It’s creative because of the different styles and rich because of the gold accessories that have been used. This is what my range says about Durban Lifestyle,” she added. Amongst the judges we had Derrick Mhlongo, the founder and owner of Indoni Models and Decamm Productions; Londeka Masinga, co-founder of the clothing label Lutuliegh; Sandile Mlambo, a self taught designer of a self owned label, House of Alfafa; Sindi Shangase, who works for eThekwini Municipality as a Manager in Business Support, Markets and Tourism Unit; and lastly we had Greg Wallis who has been in the Fashion Business in South Africa for the past 42 years.

1st runner up

2nd runner

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Gillian Louw survives open heart surgery By Gwen Sparks G

illian Louw is a 35 year old mother of two daughters aged 9 and 14. She fell gravely ill while pregnant with her youngest daughter 10 years ago, and after numerous tests she was diagnosed with a leaking heart valve – the mitral valve. She was hospitalized for seven months of her pregnancy due to the leaking valve placing so much stress on her body, and being on such a strict regimen of antibiotics. Initially her doctors wanted to do a valve replacement simultaneously with her Caesarean section, but the risks proved too many and her unborn baby was their first priority. After much deliberation, a decision was made to deliver the baby and postpone her heart surgery. She continued a treatment program, after her baby was born, although, even with an excellent group of cardiologists, her leaking valve worsened as time progressed, and on the 5th of December 2007 she had to have surgery. Given Gillian’s age at the time and the fact that she didn’t smoke and drink, her cardiac surgeon felt she stood a good chance at a successful heart valve repair instead of a valve replacement. A replacement of the valve would have meant lifelong medication including a blood thinning agent called “Warfarin”. She would also have her valve replaced periodically as the replacement valve has a limited lifespan depending on whether it is made of metal or pig skin. Luckily, she was blessed with one of the best cardiac surgeons, who mid surgery realized she was a good candidate for a valve repair. Gillian had a six week recovery period after the operation and because she had her valve repaired, and not replaced, she is living a healthy life with no medication and no blood thinners. I

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MOTIVATIONAL

Realising her own mortality, Gillian decided not to let life get her down and to go out there and seize the moment. Being fit was something she always strived for, so she used her love for running to train for her first Comrades Marathon in 2010, and this year she is running her fourth race. In 2012, started a rigorous training regimine and was selected as a finalist in a body makeover competition on TV. “Being a finalist enabled me to finally achieve my goal and lose the excess weight and an opportunity to transform my body. The challenge equipped me with the necessary knowledge in terms of correct eating habits, discipline and dedication with my exercise and eating routine. The challenge has been a life changing experience; it has empowered me with regards to fitness, weight management and my overall health.” Her biggest downfall when it comes to eating and exercise is her sweet tooth, which she tries her best to keep under control, and believes the key is moderation. For each sweet treat she runs an extra kilometre or so. Gillian’s secret weapon for losing weight is without a doubt her dedication towards her workout routine which entails regular army-style fitness sessions and correct eating habits. “I am at my best in terms of physical activity and health. I feel like I have a new lease on life. My motivation to run Comrades was born from surviving my heart surgery and looking back, it was the beginning of one of the best journeys in my life.”

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THE LIONESS AND THE HYENA By The Modern L

hile visiting my father (an avid nature lover), I had to watch a wildlife documentary that focussed on lions and hyenas and the brutal rivalry between them. I could not help but notice the striking resemblance between these magnificent beasts and that of the lesbian community of today. On the one side of the spectrum, is the lioness. Strong and powerful, she is the provider of the pride. Loyal to her sisters, protective of her family and inner circle, brave and always willing to fight for the good of the pride. On the other end, we have the hyena: a scavenger that will eat almost anything, including aluminium pots and pans, has fake male genitalia, cackles and that pee themselves when frightened. Even though they are quite capable of many things and are physically strong, they are lazy and prefer taking what others have rightfully acquired. The similarities I picked up between these fierce carnivores and gay girls are astounding: The lioness appears fierce, graceful and elegant while the hyena appears to be awkwardly built, clumsy and confusing. Now, the similarities are not necessarily a reflection on the outward appearance of the “Lioness lesbian” and the “Hyena Lesbian”, but rather an observation towards their metaphysical appearance within society. The Lioness will generally have a lot of ambition, a successful career, a stable home environment and their relationships are generally successful. The Lioness is well respected within the community and is an inspiration to many. The Hyena in this metaphor is socially awkward, often living with friends or relatives out of necessity, fails to adequately provide for themselves and their dependants out of sheer lack of ambition, and they depend on others for among other things, transport and money. The lioness hunts while the hyena prefers scavenging or stealing. Again, a metaphor, but in this instance, the metaphor represents dating in the lesbian world. A Lioness will find a target and chase it down, blocking out everything else and focussing only on the target at hand until she’s acquired it, or retreats when the target I

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escapes. The similar lesbian will see a girl she likes, do everything in her power to charm this girl, but still respectfully back down if her advances aren’t reciprocated. The Hyena’s hunting habits differ quite substantially. They would rather chew on the leftovers of a carcass that another animal has killed, lynch another group of animals to steal their meal, eat their own kind if injured or dead, and if they absolutely have no other choice but to hunt, they pick off sickly or infantile members of a herd. In this instance, the Hyena Lesbian will interfere in other’s relationships, including those of friends and more often than not, prefer to charm vulnerable girls and take advantage of them. The hyena clan falls apart at the loss of a matriarch while it’s business as usual in the lion’s pride. When a hyena clan loses its leader (called the matriarch) the clan is in disarray for months. Their hunts are disorganised and their territory is taken by other clans. The princess (offspring of the matriarch) is also outcast and often attacked and killed by members of the clan. How this reflection is seen in this particular lesbian, is that when they lose their free ride or meal ticket, they go into a flat spin, feel sorry for themselves, and attempt to make it other people’s problems. On the other hand, should anything happen to a lioness, her cubs are fostered by the other lionesses until it is mature enough to be self-sufficient. The other lionesses continue hunting and raising cubs, ultimately ensuring the success and survival of the pride. How this reflects on “Lioness Lesbians” is that there is a strong support structure in the form of friends or “sisters” that helps this individual should she lose her income unexpectedly, go through a tough breakup, or lose a loved one. Confrontation between species. There’s a reason why lionesses and hyenas are referred to as eternal enemies and, due to shared territories and prey, confrontation is inevitable. For the most part, lionesses will only attack hyenas if their cubs or their food source is threatened, while the hyena is an opportunistic creature that will attack a lion when she’s injured, vulnerable or grossly outnumbered. Often, lions will also end an attack once the threat retreats. Hyenas on the other hand will kill and eat a

FEATURE

weak and injured lioness and do the same to her cubs. In the lesbian world, because the gay community is fairly small, lesbians frequent the same night clubs, bars and events, and due to the gay community (men and women) made up of only approximately 10% of the general population, chances are that the women they’d be interested in courting, would be found within the same social structure. When a “Lioness Lesbian” has achieved success or does something to uplift the community as a whole, the “Hyena Lesbian” will start spreading nasty rumours, start fights or make trouble in the vicinity of the lioness. Also, when the “Lioness Lesbian’s” relationship is in danger, the “Hyena Lesbian” will taunt the Lioness, cause more damage to the relationship, and try to walk away with the Lionesses’ partner. And let’s face it, us being girls, emotion often takes over and bitch fights break out. If the latter sees that she has a bit of an uphill battle on her hands, she will cower and run, while the more generally successful gay girl will take a more tasteful and diplomatic stance on the matter and drop the subject once her counterpart retreats. It’s a dog eat dog eat cat world out there, and as the cliché states, love is a never ending battlefield. The race to the top of the symbolic food chain is on, and it is indeed survival of the fittest. We are most definitely not wild animals, although we might act like it on occasion (some at more appropriate times than others), but there are many lessons we can learn from nature and apply it to our everyday lives. The only question is, which characteristics do you prefer, the Lioness or the Hyena?

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By Colette Bodenstaff

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SPOTLIGHT

sjay Jones, a wild child who has been dubbed the “Charlize Theron” of Rock, has traded the stage for songwriting and is making waves on the US music scene. Alice caught up with Esjay Jones during her recent and rare solo tour to South Africa.

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ESJAY JONES

TOO DRUNK TO F@#!

SPOTLIGHT

How did your career start in SA? I was in a Christian band. When I was 18 I started a band called “Esjay Jones” and was signed to a Christian record label in America. One day I met a girl who I had a connection with more than I did with boys. Down the line I got dropped by the label because I wanted to be in a relationship with a girl. I now believe in the Universe. I wake up every morning and I say to the Universe, “I am here today and I am so thankful for everything that I have. “ I feel the same way whether I have ten dollars in my pocket or ten thousand dollars in my pocket. I put the same energy out there.

When did you get your break?

Stealing Love Jones made it big in SA – what happened in the US? We hit a roof in South Africa. I didn’t realise that there was anything beyond rock music. I was brought up behind such a white picket fence. Coming to the States and finding music beyond rock was just incredible. Being in the States has humbled me incredibly. In South Africa I thought I was “The Sh*t”. In the States I realised that any 13 year old could kick my ass on any stage, and with any songwriting.

with $100k. It was crazy!

So what happened? I had such a huge vision for Stealing Love Jones. We invested about R500k into my company Stealing Love Jones to go overseas. I realised soon over there, that if you want something and believe in something, you are probably the only person that believes in it. The people that you bring along are only there for the salary. The band was miserable the entire time and it was heartbreaking for me. I ended up back in South Africa, hospitalized with depression. I was thinking “I cannot do this anymore.” I had given up everything I own, taken out every loan I could to take myself and the boys to LA. They did not believe in me as much as I believed in myself.

After two years of couch surfing, I was spotted performing in a bar one night. I was invited to play at the Real L Word Premier. While performing at the premier I was pulled aside by a songwriter and asked if I had ever considered songwriting. I answered, “I am a songwriter, what are you talking about?” I was informed that in America there are producers that do the beats and then a ‘topliner’ will do the lyrics and the melody. “You would be an amazing top-liner.” The next day I had an interview and they signed me on the spot

How do you feel about being called the “Charlize Theron of Rock”? That was in a Cape Town newspaper. She is such an amazing being and we both got discovered in similar ways. You’ve already written songs for Rihanna and Adele. What are you currently doing? I work once a week with Alex da Kid at Westlake Studios, where Michael Jackson did his Thriller Album. Alex da Kid is a huge producer and I am one of the top-liners on the new Eminem album. What are some of the other highlights of your career in the US? Working with Alien Ant Farm. They were looking for a songwriter for their new album. They found me through a friend, of a friend , who said to Dryden Mitchell (the lead singer) “You have to work with this South African girl” Dryden flirted playfully with me a lot. We are now very good friends and it still blows me away that I grew up listening to their music, ‘Annie are you ok, are you ok

I left SA a second time on my own, knowing that there was something bigger out there for me. I said that I would do whatever it took to succeed. I met people along the way and asked if I could stay on their couch for the night. w w w

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Annie…?” I worked with the Deftones and also on Sean Kingston’s latest single.

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SPOTLIGHT I was in the Pink writing camp. One of the songs I wrote for the Pink album was TDTF (Too Drunk To F@#!) It wasn’t chosen so I asked if I could sign off on it. What inspired the song TDTF? A while back a girl friend and I went out and got very drunk. We ended up in the same bed, but thankfully we were TDTF. It wasn’t a problem for me to have the song signed off from the Pink writing camp and to release the song in SA. While you were singing TDTF tonight, your mom was singing along… My mom is my biggest fan. She has invested more money in me than I will ever be able to pay her back. That shows how much she loves and believes in me. She has allowed me to follow my dream. Are you openly gay in the US? For the first time in my life I am 100% open and comfortable with my girlfriend, Shasta. We still have a way to go in the States in terms of gay rights. We are “Pro-Obama”. You can get married in South Africa, but you can’t get married in the US. You would think that the US would be more progressive. How long have you and Shasta been together? We have been together over two years now. We have recently moved in together in an apartment on Sunset Boulevard. I am so blessed and happy. How did you meet? We had a mutual friend and I saw a photo of Shasta on Facebook. I said to my friend Amy, “Who is that? Please introduce us. That is the most beautiful human being I have seen in my whole, entire life”. Amy refused to introduce me to her. I ended up contacting Shasta on Facebook saying, “Hi, my name is Esjay and I’m in a band from SA” and whatever. She sent me a message back saying “Huh? Weird!” I replied saying “Why weird?” She replied, “Is this Spam?” I said, “No, it’s not spam. “ I told her that I was a friend of Amy’s and that I thought she was most beautiful human being I had seen in my whole, entire life. When I saw a photo of her on Facebook I said to myself “That is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with”.

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We have such an incredible connection. She is the Courtney Love to my Kurt Cobain, but in a good way. I am very lucky to be with her. I have never been happier in my life. Is this your first solo tour back to SA? Yeah, I didn’t intend on being an artist at all anymore, but I just got a little bee in my bonnet about two months ago thinking, “I want to play for my friends again.” Will you miss performing? I love doing small intimate gigs like tonight, but I wouldn’t want that life and being on the road for months. That life is so hard. I am happy with Shasta – I want to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen! Are you planning on staying in the States? I am an American citizen and have my Green Card. I was granted my Visa as a ‘Person of Extraordinary Ability’ and was recently granted my permanent residency too. Not many people get to achieve their dreams in their lifetime and I really believe that I was born to do something exceptional.

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six sensual sense

FEATURE

By Leandi Erasmus

ll of us know the age-old lessons on how a women’s` skin is her most important sex organ. I remember all the hype about foreplay and how Dr. Ruth’s taught varsity boys not to jump in before the pool is wet. Gay girls have triumphed over this age old problem of “lack of foreplay” to the extent that straight men and even their magazines crave our exquisite advice on how to get the foreplay right. The main focus, however, has always remained on the enjoyment of the person receiving the sexual attention, and not that of the lover delivering the joy. Neither have we stood still long enough to deconstruct foreplay and the role of our senses in delivering and enjoying it. Let us pay some attention to the joys of giving passion by taking apart the very experience of sex sense by sense. It is traditionally believed that we have just five senses: touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight. There are those, however, who believe that we have six senses, implying six ways to experience - and remember - the act of passion. From courting to foreplay, all the way towards full-blown sex, there are so many rich ways to experience the pleasure we give to our partners than those we usually consider. It is time we allow ourselves to fully enjoy all our senses in the process of pleasing a lover.

Smell

When you meet her for lunch, as you give her a hug, breathe in. How does she smell? Take some time, smell the body lotion, her perfume, and her natural skin oils. Breathe it; get to know her with closed eyes. Run your fingers through her hair, smell the shampoo, the sweat, the oils. It’s her unique combination of gorgeous smells. Like a sensual fingerprint, learn to adore it. During intimacy, make time – smell her breath, her ears, her arm pits, and yes, her crotch. She is your lover; her body is opening up to you, telling you stories, giving you signs – are you listening? I

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Take deep breaths, memorize the moments and feel the effect on your body. After making love, take some smells with you, the office, to lunch, to the shops – wherever you are. At least once, don’t wash your hands immediately following sex. Take a second to smell your own fingers, and your hair hours later. You might enjoy the deeply satisfying smile that follows.

Sight

Over dinner, take her in visually. How do her ears really look? Pay attention to the wrinkles around her eyes as she laughs and the little hairs on her cheek. Do you really know her face when she experiences different emotions? Note her lips as she sips her wine. Have you noticed the shape of her mouth as she chews? Know her as a lover should, from the shape of her nose, the odd hairs in her eyebrows. Appreciate her female beauty as gloriously imperfect as it may be. Give her body your full attention in bed. Enjoy the small things, such as her breasts, buttocks, elbows, and even knees. Treat her to a full body massage and indulge in the shape of her curves. Familiarize yourself with the way her ribs look as she exhales. Looking for fine detail is a good way to read the woman you love. How do her hips move when she wants more and is there something specific about her lips at that moment? Go exploring. Her body is a field full of surprises and possibilities that want to be uncovered, recognized and loved.

Hearing

Listen to her. Be sensitive to the subtle nuances of her voice, approving and disapproving sounds, enjoyment, naughtiness and more. Sounds are important subtext. Her sighs, moans and the little sounds she`s not even aware of reveal her inner world. Pay particular attention to how she sounds when a kiss gets hot,

FEATURE

when you touch her in different places, or how her voice changes after an unexpected flirtation. It is her cue to communicate what she likes and what not. Most of the time she does not even hear it herself – but you should. Spend time on her breathing, does it change when she is she`s turned on? Know mood changes by listening to her voice, vocabulary, sighs and laughs. Most women want to be understood by the one they love. Sound is the key to this. Teach yourself to indulge and enjoy the sounds she makes during sex and let it lead you to please her where and when she likes it.

Touch

Try to start feeling your way around her in millimeters. The textures of her skin against your fingers, her face, breasts, tummy, bum, thighs, – it all feels different. Feel the skin on the soles of her feet, between her toes and up along her back. Enjoy touching all the different places as part of making love to her as a whole person. Feel her breathing against your neck, her fingers in your hair. Feel the way her body touches yours centimeter by centimeter. When being close to her, be aware where your body touches hers and what movements she makes. Fondle her with different parts of your body. There is an endless world of possibilities when you start playing with more than your hands. Exploring with your lips and nipples can be exceptionally pleasant.

Taste

fingers and even toes deserve some tasting. Smell and taste are fantastic companions to properly indulge in a woman’s body you have to taste it in abundance - not carefully, but greedily, enjoying every millimeter of her body, like you would a decadent dessert. This is not only pleasant, but it communicates acceptance and adoration of her body.

The Sixth Sense

Open your intuition for her mental and emotional reality, by trusting your first instinct. Don`t ponder too much on it as it taints the true instinct behind it. Once you start something, trust yourself, let it flow, don’t engage a woman half-heartedly. Jump in completely, swim in her wholeness, and express your delight in being able to smell, taste, see, and hear her. Humans are such defined, layered, complex and beings. To fully enjoy a woman, you need to immerse yourself in everything she is: the perfect and the imperfect. The complete acceptance you offer by enjoying her completely and with all your senses, might just nudge her into confidence and cause her to let go of all inhibitions. Nobody can argue that when having sex with a woman who left her inhibitions behind, is worlds better than sleeping with a self-conscious girl, worried that she might repulse you in some way. Let her know how your senses long for her, and how they enjoy communion with her body. Let go of prejudice. Make love with all your senses at once. Jump into the deep side of your lovers’ body, (don’t just wet your toes) and flood your senses. Learn to swim in each other, confident, naked, and free – feeling every wave, tasting every ripple, seeing all the beauty and smelling your way to ecstasy. It is worth it.

Tasting her should not only be reserved for oral sex. Taste her mouth when you kiss her. Allow your tongue to taste all the nooks and crevices of her body. Her ears, neck, navel, armpits, w w w

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WEDDINGS

*the A-Z of lesbian weddings (part 1) By Colette Bodenstaff

ress / Suit If you opt for a suit and are on a budget, consider getting just one piece custom made. You could also buy formal pants and a shirt off the shelf and then have a jacket custom made to match them. Find a seamstress or tailor who has experience working with women. If you opt for a dress, be prepared for questions. Refer to Q. These days you could avoid the questions by ordering a dress online. Consider renting a dress for the occasion.

ngagement What’s the rush? Research shows that you need 12 to 18 months to plan your wedding properly. Use your engagement time wisely and don’t leave everything to the last minute.

ou went down on one knee, she said yes and the next step is tying the knot. We bring you some thoughts to consider when planning your big day.

ccredited or Designated Marriage Officer Only marriage officers qualified and equipped with a Civil Union Register can marry same sex couples. Civil unions may be conducted by: • Designated marriage officers for specific religious denominations or organisations. • Designated officers employed by the Department of Home Affairs and the Magistrates’ Courts. achelorette Party So what do lesbians do for a hen night? The beauty of this answer is that we can do whatever we choose to do. We can go to a strip club, we can gather a few friends and pamper ourselves at a spa, we can go on a road trip for a weekend away – together as a couple or individually with a few friends. The possibilities are endless.

ake There are many different designs, types, colours and shapes of wedding cakes to choose from. The best way to choose what you like is to look through books and magazines or consult with a cake maker. The cake is usually cut into small slices and packaged into small bags for the guests to take home. An option is to serve your cake as a dessert. I

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riends & Family A wedding is one of the few occasions where friends and families get together in the same place. Bringing all these people together under one roof could potentially be one of the most stressful moments of your life. For many of the wedding guests, this will be their first lesbian wedding.

reen Your Wedding Decrease the impact of your event on the planet. You could adopt one or two earth-friendly elements or go completely organic from start to finish. Invitations can be printed on seeded paper. After the wedding, guests can plant the invitation and watch the seeds grow.

oney moon The Honeymoon is defined as “a period of harmony immediately following marriage“. Around 1546 men simply abducted the woman of his choice and took her into hiding. They would stay in hiding for at least a month, marked by the phases of the moon, thus the “moon” in honeymoon. While in hiding, the couple would drink mead - a wine made of water and honey daily. The mead provided the “honey” part of the honeymoon. The notion of hiding away during the honeymoon has led to the present practice of couples keeping their plans secret. Nowadays it is usually kept secret to keep nosy relatives and friends from invading the couple’s privacy.

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WEDDINGS

nternationally Recognised In November 2006, South Africa became the fifth country in the world to legalize same sex marriage after Spain, Belgium, Canada and the Netherlands. Since 2006, Argentina, Denmark, Iceland, Norway, Portugal and Sweden have legalized same sex marriages. Unfortunately this means that we cannot legally elope to Las Vegas and have a Dolly Parton impersonator officiating. Bon voyage!

oint Bank Account Sharing a joint account can also bring feelings of resentment when one partner is contributing more than the other.

Rather consider these financial sharing options: • Maintain separate accounts. Divide up your household bills then come to a mutual agreement as to who is responsible for which bill. Each partner should pay their agreed upon bill from their separate accounts. • Open a joint account just for bills. Another option is to maintain individual accounts and open a joint account funded just for bills. Don’t deposit arbitrary amounts into this joint account: Fund the account based on the outstanding balances of your respective bills. This will help keep the accounting clean and your expectations clear. • Open a joint savings account. Maintaining a joint savings account is quite risky. If you do decide to save together, be clear about your future goals and state in writing what stake you each have in the entire sum.

eepsake Often these keepsakes are destined for the trash can. Instead, consider making a small donation for each guest to a cause that is important to you. This is quite personal and allows your guests to get to know you as a couple a little better. If you are determined to give a small gift to your guests, consider edibles, small potted plants or seedlings.

egalities • Antenuptial Contract This is a written contract between two people who are about to marry, setting out the terms of possession of assets, future earnings, property of each, and potential division if the marriage is later dissolved. These agreements are fairly common if either or both parties have substantial assets, children from a prior marriage, potential inheritances or high incomes. To be married in community of property is a contract in which the possessions of the partners are merged in a joint estate and disposed of by means of a joint will. • Civil Union Act The Civil Union Act is the legal recognition of marriages and civil partnerships, collectively referred to as civil unions, between two persons regardless of their sexual orientation or gender. A couple has a choice to have their relationship legally registered as a marriage or a civil partnership and will receive a certificate that indicates that they have either entered into a marriage or a civil partnership, depending on their choice. Five decisions of the Constitutional Court recognised same-sex partnership in: I

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1. Immigration 2. Granting same-sex couples the same financial status as married heterosexual partners. 3. Allowed adoption by same-sex couples. 4. Entitled same-sex couples to the same financial benefits as unmarried cohabiting heterosexual couples. 5. Recognized that the children born to same-sex couples by way of artificial insemination are legitimate.

oney Budget your wedding carefully and make sure you can afford it. The bride’s father traditionally expected to pay for the wedding. This could be wonderful when there are two brides, but don’t count on the best case scenario. Depending on your circumstances, it is probably best to save up for the wedding Where do you start? We suggest starting with your circle of friends and family. You may find gay and gay friendly professionals in the form of photographers, caterers and wedding coordinators right at your doorstep. Nothing will test your ability to work with your fianceé more than planning a wedding. You need to be able to communicate your desires with each other, working together as well as independently. Remember to compromise, pay attention to detail and most importantly, keep calm, breathe and have fun.

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WEDDINGS

WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER By Linda Godfrey of Imagery Photography

very bride has probably heard the old adage, “Your wedding day is one of the most significant days of your life,” and in hindsight many couples I speak to regret not having captured that special day with photos. Whether you choose to hire a professional photographer or to ask a friend or family member, there are some practical issues, which I believe every couple should consider that relate to the success of their wedding photos: choosing how much you want to spend on your photographer; choosing an experienced photographer that you’re comfortable with and who is comfortable with you; deciding how long you want your photographer to be with you on the day; and a hundred more. I’d like to touch on just two of them here: the location you choose for your wedding and the influence that has on your photos, and very closely related to that, the style of wedding photography your choose. Location The venue you choose for your wedding has one of the biggest influences on the ‘beauty and scale’ of your wedding photos, especially when combined with the style of photography. If you’re wanting that enlargement of the bridal couple in an embrace in a picturesque setting, you’re going to need to choose a venue that either has large open, beautiful spaces - like gardens or fields - or you’ll need to leave enough time in your order of service for the day to allow the photographer to take you off to a location nearby for your wedding photographs. If you only want close-up intimate photographs, then a small garden at home or at the church may suffice. Think about where you might like your wedding photographs taken - at the church, the reception venue, a garden or park, or an urban landscape - and plan it into the wedding day so that both you and the photographer aren’t rushed. Your photographer should also

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tips

be able to guide you on whether a certain location will produce good photos or not – what is the lighting like, are there suitable backdrops? Some couples prefer to have their portrait photos taken before the service. This allows them to take a quiet moment out together before the rush of the day starts. However, it can often show in your photos with one or both of you being nervous about the day ahead. Photos after the service are often more relaxed. Allow at least 30 minutes to an hour for these photos. Make sure that your guests aren’t left unattended and without food and drink while you’re off having your photos taken. It’s considered a little rude to be gone for longer than an hour, but I’ve heard of couples taking up to four hours to have their portrait photos taken. If you’re planning on that, make sure you inform your guests well in advance. Style of photography Style of photography is very much linked to the venue you choose for your wedding photographs, how the couple have chosen to dress for their wedding day, and even the nature and personalities of the couple. Wedding photography styles vary from a candid photojournalistic style to a traditional classically posed style of photography. I tend to switch between the styles when needed, capturing the spontaneous moments of laughter and tears of the day while at times guiding the couple to ensure that perfect portrait photo. This is something you should discuss with your photographer beforehand, or ask to see a sample of their work to get a good idea of the quality and style adopted by them. With the exceptional quality of photograph and wedding album printing now days, these pictures (and memories) will stay with you for a lifetime.

WIN

WIN WITH

AFROKWAZI IS GIVING AWAY 1X INGERSOLL WATCH TO THE VALUE OF R6,000 YOU MET HER, YOU LIKE HER… TELL US HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE HER E-mail less than 200 words to: letters@alicemagazine.co.za with your contact details w w w

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COVERGIRL

•sade giliberti•

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COVERGIRL

YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF… CAREER

Q: How did you get into the TV industry and how old were you? A: My TV career started when I was seven years old. I started off as a child model at the age of three doing ramp modelling and catalogues. That soon became TV ads and exposure to the TV side of things. By the time I was seven I landed my first presenting job on TV1, presenting a children’s Christian show called “On The Rock”. Q: Name a few highlights of your career? A: Obviously the first gig I got on TV will always be a career highlight for me. It’s thanks to that moment that I got exposed to much more. By the time I was eleven, I became a YOTV presenter and household name when it came to Kid’s TV. I remained on YOTV for ten years and spent the best, most wild times of my life exploring and learning so much more. I got to interview Will Smith thanks to YOTV. We travelled the country and I got to see wonderful places and meet amazing people. I won the Kids Star in You Awards in 2005 for Best Female Youth Presenter and got nomintaed for a few more other awards during my time on YOTV. My list goes on with regards to YOTV. As for other highlights, doing SYTYCD Season One and Two was great, being a contestant on Survivor 2010 was a mind blowing experience, as well as being the Face of Legit 2010. Q: Are we going to see you on a TV channel or in the cinema next? A: Haha. I’d love to say both. I’m currently working on my first full feature as Executive Producer. So let’s hold thumbs. Q: What else would you like to achieve career wise? A: I ask myself that same question everyday. I just want to be happy in my career. I want to tell real stories and inspire people. I know there is so much more that I can do and be, most importantly, I want to leave an imprint in people’s lives. Not for being the ‘famous TV’ girl or something lame, but for being real, for inspiring, for giving a message of hope and love to the people.

OPENLY GAY

Q: What advice would you give someone that wants to come out? A: If deep down inside you feel that this is something you need to do, then do it. Once you have accepted it within yourself for who you are, no one can take that away from you. What others think really doesn’t matter. We think it does, but honestly it doesn’t. Opening ourselves up to friends and family makes it the hardest.

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These are the people we don’t want to hurt and don’t want them to judge us in any way. Being gay doesn’t change a person as a human being. And that’s one thing we need to keep reminding the rest of the world. Gay people may not be accepted in most parts of the world, but the gay community is growing by the numbers every day. Those who aren’t affected by the decision you make as a gay person are the people who will never leave your side. Those are the people who really matter. The rest either will come to eventually or not at all, and that does make it hard. You just have to believe in yourself, believe in the decision that you want to be out and proud and believe that you are not alone. Q: Do you celebrate Gay Pride and what does it mean to you? A: Of course I do. It means that we have come a long way. It means that our older brothers and sisters had the courage to take on the streets back in the day so that it’s a little easier for us to just be. It means that if we continue to take on the streets and celebrate our pride and who we are, one day we will all just be accepted and the world will live happily ever after in unison. (Big dream, but I will continue to dream it). This world needs love. This world needs to learn to love all its people.

GENERAL

Q: Do you support local? A: Local? Local soccer? Local rugby? Local clothing? This is such a vague question. But to answer it for you, yes I do. I support local as much as I support international. Q: How green are you? A: Pretty green. I have an eco friendly car. I don’t litter, I keep rubbish in my pockets or in my car rather than tossing anything out. I’ve done a few park clean ups in the last few years. Recycling bottles and paper and other items. I’m not perfect in any way, but I do try and keep as green as I possibly can. Q: Do you play / watch sport? A: I used to play field and indoor soccer but had to stop for work. Couldn’t risk getting injured apparently. But yes, I do watch sport. Not as religiously as before. But I try to keep myself updated. Q: As a presenter of “So You Think You Can Dance”, can you dance? A: Club dancing hellz yea. Ask me to two step and I’ll make you cry a little. But ask me to break out into a contemporary piece, no, not going to happen. I did modern dancing as a kid and ballet for a little while too.

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COVERGIRL YOU, YOU AND YOU

Q: You have such a funky clothing style. Is it your personal style or are you always dressed by a stylist? A: It’s generally my personal style. Sometimes a stylist will give me an idea or help me out with something, but it really is just all me. Q: Are you living your dream? A: Everyday. Yes! I could do more. And by more, I mean travel more. I love travelling and there is so much of the world that I am still dying to see and discover. Q: Who / what inspires you? A: Life inspires me. People inspire me. Love inspires me. My father is a huge inspiration in my life, I look up to him and adore him so much. People who make something of themselves, work hard and show off their true talent, not by mimicking others, but by being so natural. I’m taken aback by that. I also appreciate people who don’t get caught up in the fame and money game. People who keep it real and keep themselves grounded. Q: So how does a celebrity go out for a normal night out on the town? A: I don’t know. I don’t hang out with many celebrities. I’m sure it’s a night out in Sandton for a fancy dinner and dancing in a place where you have to look the part that you can’t actually even dance because your make up will melt off and your hair will fall from its place. I, on the other hand, am way too laid back. It’s the local pub/bar down the road. I’m with my mates and I’m dressed comfortably, I’m going to sweat and dance my face off. I’m going to rock out at a gig and lose my shit completely. I’m going out to have fun, not have a ‘look at me moment’.

THE JUICY STUFF

Q: What do you wear going out on a date to ‘wow’ someone? A: It really depends on the impression I’m trying to make, who she is, do I actually know her or do I need to really wow this girl. I’d probably rock nice tight skinnies, a collared shirt, a waistcoat. Or keep it a

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COVERGIRL

COVERGIRL little more femme and wear the skinnies but show more skin on the torso. It just depends. Q: What makes Sade Giliberti tick? A: Music. Art. Tattoos. Girls. Anything from the 50s. Photography. Poetry. Q: What’s your biggest turn on? A: Beautiful words, beautiful pictures, beautiful girls (eyes and lips). Q: What’s your biggest turn off? A: I don’t like fake people, or people who want you for the attention you get (it happens a lot – that whole ‘look at who I am dating thing’ – I hate that), I don’t like liars or being lied to and people who don’t wear shoes when they go out. I’m turned off by people who don’t take care of their teeth or themselves. Hygiene is very important to me. Q: The one question that everyone asks… Are you currently involved? A: YES Q: How did you meet? A: On the dance floor. Q: Marriage and kids one day? A: Kids yes. I want to adopt. But marriage, I’m not so sure about. I’ve never believed in it really. A piece of paper? Really? Lame! I might do the ring, as a promise ring. But I think that’s as far as I will go. Actually…. who knows? Q: If you can pick five international celebrities for an intimate dinner party, who would it be? A: This is a hard one because my celebrity list changes all the time. Currently I’d say: Evan Rachel Woods, Zooey Deschanel, Caleb Followill, (he can just sing all night), Amanda Siegfried and Gerald Butler. Q: Nicki Minaj, Wanda Sykes, Portia de Rossi… Kiss, Marry, Run away? A: Yikes! Hard one! Uhm… I’d marry Portia De Rossi. I’d kiss Nicki Minaj, no Wanda, no Nicki… nooooo uhm. I’d kiss Wanda. And run away from Nicki Minaj. She’s too plastic, I’d feel like I’m kissing Barbie.

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COVERGIRL

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COVERGIRL

CREDITS PHOTOGRAPHER: Linda. Imagery Photography. HAIR: Bella. Hair Mosaic. STYLIST: Bella. Hair Mosaic. MODEL: Sade Giliberti. WORDS: Alice. TO SADE: Thank you, it was lovely working with a true professional.

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TRAVEL

DINAH SH RE

WHAT IS CLUB SKIRTS DINAH SHORE WEEKEND? The Largest and Biggest lesbian event in the world, the Dinah Shore weekend is an annual monumental 5-day weekend packed with not only non-stop activities, spectacular comedy shows, live concerts, activism and legendary pool parties, but also premier talent in music, film and television.

a-life-time experience, The Dinah Shore Weekend is a one-of-

WHERE IS THE DINAH SHORE WEEKEND? Nowhere else but in the beautiful city of Palm Springs, CA.

WHAT TO EXPECT FOR DINAH SHORE WEEKEND 2013?

Created and produced by Mariah Hanson under her Club Skirts marquee, The Dinah Shore Weekend, popularly known as “The Dinah”, is now not only an event celebrating the tapestry of women around the world but also helps put a human face to lesbians around the world. This past presidential election has proven that the country’s demographic makeup is drastically changing and the voices of many minority groups including women, and the LGBT community are now being heard. These voices make for the new face of a changing nation - a nation that is based on and celebrates diversity.

a-kind vacation spot where women of all ages, interests, ability, relationship status, cultural background and profession come together for a long weekend getaway to meet and connect with other women, make new friends, reunite with old ones, and yes, find their dream girl!

Held April 3-April 7, 2013 in Palm Springs, CA, The Dinah Shore Weekend, now in its 23rd year is expected to be the biggest it’s ever been. Now after twenty-three years of blissful marriage, the City of Palm Springs and the famed Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend are officially renewing their wedding vows. The Palm Springs Convention Center (http://www.palmspringscc.com/), the Greater Palm Springs CVB (http://www.palmspringsusa.com/), and the Bureau of Tourism (http://www.visitpalmsprings.com/) are handing an exclusive VIP Rewards program to Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend allowing Dinah attendees to enjoy discounts at participating restaurants, spas, attractions and retailers, and discover the city’s

What the Dinah offers is a glimpse of what life would be if everyone was accepting of each other; and, on an larger scale, how perfect the world would be if we all had equal rights and could all be free to be who we truly are! With some 20,000 (and counting) women from all over the world (gay and straight) making the pilgrimage each year for a once-inI

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hidden treasures. In addition, this year the City of Palm Springs, working with Mariah Hanson, founder and promoter of Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend, to elevate the signature event is moving the Dinah downtown in the heart of the action, and introducing the inaugural block party concept.

TRAVEL

New this year is the “one ticket for two pool parties” admission offering Dinah-goers the unique and fun opportunity to travel through two different ambiances and to fully experience the legendary Dinah Shore Pool Parties. This is part of the five-year plan that will see the transformation of the iconic mile-long stretch Tahquitz Canyon Way into a Dinah Shore Weekend block party. One ticket gets Dinah goers into everything: pay once, play over multiple days! On the activist front, HRC is coming onboard as full sponsor of The Dinah 2013. HRC will be hosting a special soiree during the weekend, giving Dinah goers the opportunity to meet, mingle, network and celebrate with their favourite celebrities and get involved with the HRC team in attendance. In addition, Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend will be hosting for the first time ever a world-class Celebrity Poker Tournament on Saturday night (April 6, 2013) with all proceeds going to HRC. Participants will have a chance to join some of the hottest celebrity guests for a fun night of poker and charity to benefit HRC.

and electropop duo UH HUH HER; Also, ANJULIE (“Brand New Bitch”), K. ROSE, (song) & KATY TIZ (famous); and at our second pool, Indie bands PLAYBOY SCHOOL and LIFE DOWN HERE. Plus comics FORTUNE FEIMSTER (“Chelsea Lately”), Jackie Loeb, Suzanne Westenhoefer, and appearances by LAUREN BEDFORD RUSSELL & KIYOMI McCLOSKEY (lead singer of Hunter Valentine) of THE REAL L WORD, and many more surprises. Twenty-three years is certainly a milestone for an all woman/ all-lesbian event, and speaks volume with regards to the tight bond between not only The Dinah and the City of Palm Springs, but also between the two entities and the thousands of lesbian travelers (either returning or attending for the first time) who uniquely create The Dinah family. A successful marriage that year after year is going stronger than ever! “It’s all about celebrating our formidable community, and the wonderful experiences as well as exceptional accomplishments we have created and shared together with our Dinah family members over these past 23 years,” says Mariah Hanson, founder and producer of The Dinah Shore Weekend. Official Website: www.TheDinah.com For travelling packages contact: Luwendo Travel

The 2013 Dinah talent line-up includes: KARMIN, “Brokenhearted”; HAVANA BROWN (“We Run The Night” featuring Pitbull); KAT GRAHAM; Reggae/Dancehall legend DIANA KING,

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FEATURE

The Gay Agenda M

y mother would often bang on about the evils of gay people. Gay people, she told me, had an agenda to take over the world and were intent on destroying anything good and sacred. I asked her how she knew this. “They have an agenda,” she would reply, “It’s secret, but all gay people know about it and it’s an evil agenda. They hate straight people and want to destroy the family. They also want to turn children into gays. They’re paedophiles.” My mother also believed that all the gay people in the world should be rounded up and shipped off to an island somewhere, after which said island would be torched by good, god-fearing Christians, to rid the world of their dark homosexual stain. It should be no surprise, then, that I only came out of the closet after she died.

Kirk and Madsen envisioned these changes in attitude of the general population would require at least ten years to complete. To some degree, I reckon they have been successful. More countries are recognising the right for gay people to marry, gay characters appear in mainstream film and TV (not over the top comedic parodies either), it’s become acceptable to be an ‘out’ gay actor or performer and more gay people are open about who they are. In some countries, we have a right to adopt children, to have our own families and to be part of our society without fear of being ostracised, victimised or abused. Is the gay agenda as put forward by Kirk and Madsen as evil as some groups suggest? Looking at the steps that they propose I can see how easy it would be for some people to think of it all as something deeply sinister.

I often joked that someone forgot to give me my gay agenda info pack after I came out. We hear it so often bandied about: The Gay Agenda or How The Gays Want To Take Over The World. The notion is ridiculous: take over the world, convert everyone to homosexuality and destroy the family. Come on - where am I supposed to find the time for that when I have a job, a partner, dogs and a social life?

Substitute the ‘gay’ part of the six points above and you have a plan for creating understanding of any misunderstood group. For example: Talk about left-handed people and left-handedness as loudly and often as possible... And if you look at the six points again, Pro-Lifers use the same ‘agenda’ in promoting the rights of the foetus.

However, there is an actual gay agenda. It’s no myth. It really exists. It differs somewhat from my mother’s belief in a three step “convert everyone, destroy the family and molest small children” plan.

Still, there are those who reckon we are a group of Satanic, sex-crazed Zombies out to destroy straight families and children. James Dobson, of Focus on the Family, has had this to say about “The Gay Agenda”:

Back in 1989, two clever chaps named Marshall Kirk, a researcher in neuropsychiatry, and Hunter Marsden, published a book called After the Ball: How America Will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred of Gays in the ‘90s” Included in this book is a six point plan on how to show the world that we are just like anyone else: 1. Talk about gays and gayness as loudly and often as possible; 2. Portray gays as victims, not aggressive challengers; 3. Give homosexual protectors a just cause; 4. Make gays look good; 5. Make victimisers look bad; 6. Get funding from Corporate America.

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“Those goals include universal acceptance of the gay lifestyle, discrediting of scripture that condemns homosexuality, muzzling of the clergy and Christian media, granting of special privileges and rights in the law, overturning laws prohibiting paedophlia, indoctrinating children and future generations through public education, and securing all the legal benefits of marriage for any two or more people who claim to have homosexual tendencies” First off, though, not everyone in the world is Christian. The Christians I do know are not bothered whether I am gay, straight

By Tanya Olckers or a sweet transvestite from transexual Transylvania. Secondly, I don’t know a single gay person who wants to see paedophiles free to roam the streets to do as they please. And I have no idea what can possibly be wrong about two consenting adults, in a loving relationship, wanting to tie the knot. Clearly, this is a problem for some individuals out there who view the queer amongst us as sub-human, or worse, nonhuman. The reality is that we want pretty much the same things as anyone else: a stable relationship, a home, a job we enjoy doing, family, date nights and a box of highly priced chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Still, Queers frighten a great deal of people. Having an agenda around being a little limp wristed scares people even more. Heaven forbid that being gay, bi or trans should become acceptable in society. Why is that? What possible threat could being true to oneself be to another person? I have no answer. I’ve wracked my brain and tried to come up with one - even something ridiculously humorous. I have nothing. Believing that providing basic human rights to gay people will open the door to granting those same rights to child molesters, necrophiliacs and stuffed toys is what’s ridiculous. Arguing that the right to marry if you’re gay because no children can be produced from the union is just as ridiculous. Couples who cannot conceive should not have the right to marry either, if that’s the case. And most certainly it spits in the faces of gay parents who are, in fact, raising either their own children or children that they have adopted. If the gay agenda as laid out above gets people to treat The Queer with dignity and respect, I’m all for that. I am all for that like a boss. The question is, will the religious right be able to get their filthy minds out of our bedrooms and away from what we all look like naked long enough to see that we are human too.

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LIZELLEVERTEL

STUPID SOCIETY E

k weet nie hoe op aarde gay-wees vandag nog ‘n issue kan wees nie! Genade, elke tweede vrou of man is gay deesdae! Wat is die probleem met vandag se ouers, kerke en die totale gemeenskap?! My heeltemal straight swaer, het al in die 70’s gesê dat daar drie geslagte is – man, vrou en gay. Hy was sy tyd ver vooruit, want hy het destyds ‘n vriend in Amerika gehad wat vir hom “onwettige boeke” in die verkrampte Suid-Afrika ingesmokkel het. Hoe onnosel moet ‘n mens wees om vandag nog te glo dat om gay te wees ‘n sonde is?! Hoe onnosel moet ‘n mens overall wees om nog te glo dat daar enigsins iets soos sonde en ‘n satan en ‘n hel is?! Van kleins af, standerd drie om presies te wees, bevraagteken ek dít wat die kerke verkondig. Aan die een kant vertel hulle ons van die onvoorwaardelike liefde van God en dat Hy ons Vader is. Maar dan vertel hulle ons ook dat díe Vader, met Sy onvoorwaardelike, Goddelike liefde vir ons, ons vir ewig in die hel gaan werp as ons ‘n voetjie verkeerd sit! Daardie plek waar ons vir ewig gaan brand en waar daar vir ewig ‘n geween en gekners van die tande is! Hoe bring jy daardie kloutjie by die oor? Díe optrede van ons liefdevolle God, verdedig hulle met allerhande voorwaardes. Jesus het vir ons sondes kom sterf en nét as ons dit glo, is ons gered van die ewige verdoemenis. Dit veronderstel nog altyd by my die volgende: * Dat God nie só almagtig is om ons “sondes” te vergewe nie. * Dat God geensins ‘n onvoorwaardelike liefde vir ons het nie en * Dat God te swak is om die sogenaamde duiwel te oorwin. Ek is ‘n ma van drie kinders en ek het hulle onvoorwaardelik lief! Niks wat my kinders ooit kan doen, sal maak dat ek hulle vir ewig tot ‘n allerverskriklike plek soos die hel, sal verdoem nie! Al pleeg een van my kinders ‘n moord voor my oë, sal ek alles in my vermoë doen om my kind uit die tronk te hou en hom/haar al die behandeling te laat kry, sodat hy/sy weer normaal in die samelewing kan funksioneer. En ek is net ‘n mens! Hoe nou te meer ons liefdevolle Almagtige God! Ek weet vandag vir ‘n feit, dat my liefdevolle, Almagtige God, nooit dit aan Sy kinders wat Hy geskape het, sal doen nie!

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LIZELLEVERTEL

EN GAY-WEES Die optrede van ouers, predikante en psigiaters teenoor gays laat my sprakeloos! Dis van duiwels uitdryf tot elektriese skokke! Wanneer gaan hierdie mense bykom?! Wanneer gaan die gemiddelde Afrikaner - Afrikaans, Engels, wit, swart, geel, pienk, blou, begin wyer lees as net die Bybel en dit wat mense oor die Bybel skryf? Dit wil sê mense se eie interpretasies van die Bybel. Ek wens tog so mense wil ‘n bietjie begin lees oor navorsing wat gedoen is oor die werlike gebeure rondom Jesus. Hulle moet gaan lees oor hoe die Bybel saamgestel is, deur wie die Bybel saamgestel is en oor al Jesus se leeringe wat uit die Bybel verwyder is en geheel en al verander is. Ek wens ek kon hulle ‘n clue gee waar om te begin. Byvoorbeeld soos by Constantine the Great, of te wel, Pous Constantine van Rome, wat al hierdie dinge aangevang het. Maar sal dit help? Ek wens ook hulle wil oor die satan storie kom! Ophou om die duiwel die skuld te gee vir alles wat hulself verkeerd doen. Ophou om die duiwel in alles op aarde raak te sien! (Ai, dis verstommend hoeveel mag hulle hom gee.) En ek wens hulle wil ophou om te oordeel! (Die trademark van meeste godsdienste.) My ma het altyd gesê: “Sien lewe en laat lewe.” Maar nou ja, die meeste oorloë in die wereld se geskiedenis is oor godsdiens gevoer. Hulle moet ook gaan lees oor die navorsing wat oor gays gedoen is. Maar ek weet dat die oorgrote meerderheid Suid-Afrikaners ‘n tonnelvisie het en dat, as gevolg van die algemene lae emosionele intelligensie van die bevolking, hulle nooit by enige van die genoemde leesstof sal uitkom nie. Watter jammerte! Ek was een en twintig jaar getroud, voordat ek uit die kas geklim het! Dit was ‘n aaklige ondervinding in my klein gemeenskap, maar ek wens vandag dat ek dit jare tevore al gedoen het. Gay girls, lig julle koppe en loop regop! Wees trots en uitgesproke oor julle gay-wees en wys só vir die “heilige” sedebewakers, dat gay mense niks het om oor skaam te wees nie en niks het om weg te steek nie! Ek doen dit!

Lekker gay wees, Lizelle Jacobs

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ABOUT A GIRL

Lara AUCAMP By Zunia Boucher-Myers

hen I came out in 2008 at the grand age of 39, I had no idea who to look up to or who I could engage with as great lesbian role models. Perhaps due to my late blooming I had a great need to engage with likeminded women and be part of a greater and more inclusive community, as I am sure any lesbian who has shaken off the confines of her closet would testify to.

When I eventually met the lady behind the emails I was pleasantly surprised.

Luckily for me Facebook came to the rescue and I came across a group called C.T.L – Cape Town Lesbians. Here I learnt about what was happening in my newly found community and saw that there was a lot I could participate in, as it was all neatly diarised in a weekly email sent right to my inbox.

Over an interactive lunch I was to get the scoop on what makes this lady so determined and active in our community. My first question was going to be, “Are you single?” but thought better of it and moved right into the hows and whys of her involvement with and creation of the C.T.L

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Tall, super feminine, with long chestnut hair, Lara Aucamp was not the ‘typical’ lesbian I had envisioned. Looks can be deceptive, as I was to find out.

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ABOUT A GIRL “When I first came out,” she said, “I was very shy, very alone and terribly insecure. Hard to believe I know, but I was desperate to meet people in an environment that was not a club. Yes, there are many online dating platforms, and they are great, but I wanted a space which did not exist, and so I decided to create it myself.” And so The Cape Town Lesbians group was born in 2008. The very first event was a picnic and the grand total of ten girls arrived. Not to be put off, events kept being posted, word spread and more and more people started joining the group and participating. From meagre beginnings, over 2600 members are currently on Facebook, and the numbers are growing daily. Her Twitter account is the eighth biggest in Cape Town. Impressive to say the least. The downside to running a group on a public platform is the diversity in opinion, the differences in approach and the lack of serious participation when needed. Not to mention the logistical nightmare of arranging events of this nature, when every practical consideration needs to be well thought-out from location to transportation. The group is run completely voluntarily by Lara and a handful of helpers. Her time, often financial resources, and effort sometimes goes unappreciated or unliked. ”I am often criticised,” she says matter-of-factly. “I have even had girls tell me to my face that I do not look lesbian enough to be running C.T.L,” she laughs. “But it will not change my dream of having an all-inclusive group under the L.G.B.T umbrella. That’s why you will find transgender, bisexual and even a few men in the group.” This is one of the areas where Lara gets the most flack. “There are many ‘closed’ lesbian groups that have very specific criteria for allowing people ‘in’. That goes against the vision of C.T.L.” She has even gone so far as to name her website ‘All Things Queer’ which she feels embraces this vision of inclusiveness. Here, every nuance of sexuality and gender are welcomed. “We need to change our hetero-normative standards and be more embracing of the diversity within our own group.” she explains.

What are Lara’s dreams for the future? ”To grow C.T.L.” she replies without hesitation. There are many offshoots from the original group with satellite C.T.L groups starting up all over Cape Town and surrounds. There is a weekly discussion forum which deals with wide ranging topics such as coming out, transforming Pride, stereotypes and myths and What I Wished I Knew When I was Younger, to name but a few. Lara’s undeniable pride is about the C.T.L camps which have by now become an institution. This, she says, is the most transformative platform of all. Here deep and lasting friendships are formed over camp fires, singles meet and connect and leave with hope in their hearts, and here lasting bonds are forged. Her volunteers are geared to ensure that those singles that have been brave enough to venture out alone, are included in all the fun activities and are never left to sit on the side lines. Lara’s dream of creating a space, where we as the fabulous lesbians of Cape Town can meet and connect has certainly become a reality. This young dynamite is one mover and shaker and I for one am so glad she stopped being shy and insecure and stood up to the challenge of creating the C.T.L and “All things Queer” platforms. As our lunch draws to a close, I end off with the burning question I am sure many would like the answer to. “So, Lara, are you seeing anyone?” I ask. With a toss of her long hair and a very cute smile she answers with a decisive “Yes!”

Recently the C.T.L group has come in for a lot of criticism as not being political or active enough. “C.T.L was never intended as a political group; it is not a large lesbian organisation. In fact, it is not an organisation at all. It is a few volunteers, mostly me, who have other full time jobs, occasionally putting on lesbian events. However, we are always open to new suggestions, and always welcome it when people want to use C.T.L as a platform for good. Just because we have over 2000 members does not mean we have 2000 volunteers or even 2000 people who show up for events. By being a member you don’t automatically make a difference. But if you would like to make a difference, and would like to get involved, there are actually amazing opportunities to do so.” she responds.

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Cape Town Lesbians on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ctlmailinglist/

SHADES OF PINK

“W

hat do you call yourself?” Don’t you just love that question in the middle of a conversation?

I was in a meeting with Mr X the other day, and that exact question popped up. Thinking back I was pretty sure I mentioned my name and surname to him during our introduction, I responded “Judith Nel” with a forced smile.

Mr X did not seem to be satisfied with my answer and continued: “No, I mean what label or term do you use for yourself?” I thought to myself, ‘I wonder if a filing cabinet will pop out of his mouth at any moment? Like one of those cartoon characters, with his tongue rolling out like a long filing cabinet, with my name filed under N (if categorised alphabetically by surname)”. The thought of that put an amused smile on my face. (Die gedagte het by my opgekom om vir hom ‘n les te gee oor Mev en Mej wat jare terug al Me geword het, maar die knaap is Engels. In Engels sal ek dan dat hy die skoen aantrek as hy pas.) “Career-wise I could describe myself as an event organiser, deputy editor and ex-farmer.” His face went from being curious to very serious. I gathered, at that point, that he was about to stop beating around the bush.

FEATURE

By Judith Nel

and I was in a rush to wrap up and be off to my next meeting. If Mr X was not a client, I would have most probably told him that my sexual orientation is my private business and only becomes the business of those that I wish to be sexually active with. I must admit, the conversation did stimulate my curiosity, leading me to Google the many ‘terms’ and ‘labels’ currently used for ‘lesbehonests’ - I mean lesbians. Andro /Androgynous: A person having both masculine and feminine characteristics. Think of Grace Jones and Annie Lennox’s style in the 80’s and Marilyn Mason in the 90’s. Ankle-biter: An underage lesbian. Baby Dyke: A young, new lesbian on the block. (Young and tender, mmmm). Bi-curious: A typically straight girl who is somewhat intrigued by the idea of hooking up with another girl. Bi-sexual: A girl (or guy) who is attracted to and sleeps with both women and men. Bull Dyke: One of the most masculine of butch lesbians.

Mr X: “My apologies. I meant with your sexual orientation. What do you call yourself?” I don’t blame him for asking such an intrusive question. I could possibly be the first real-life lesbian he has met. I answered: “Gay female”. I guess I could have answered “bi female”, but that would have just created more prying, which would have created more questions

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Butch: A masculine lesbian. Diesel Dyke: A super masculine lesbian who tends to drive trucks or other heavy machinery. Drag King: A drag king is a woman who dresses to look like a man, usually for performance. Drag kings are often lesbian, but not always.

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Dyke: Another, less feminine word for lesbian. Gaydar: An intuitive ability to determine whether another person is gay or not. Gaydar relies heavily on social mannerisms and behaviors. The word derives from a combination of Gay + Radar. Gold star: A lesbian who’s never been with a man (a sometimes rare, but worthy find). Femme: A feminine lesbian. Hasbian: A hasbian is a woman who used to identify as a lesbian and date women, but is now dating men. Kissing Fish: Lesbians Lesbian: A woman who is sexually and emotionally attracted to other women. Lipstick lesbian: A lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress on the feminine side.

Queer: Once considered a derogatory word, some people use this term to be all inclusive of gay, lesbian, bisexual, intersex and transgender people. Warning: Some people still find this word offensive. Stem: A stem is a lesbian who identifies somewhere between “stud” and “femme.” Stud: A dominant lesbian, usually butch. Tomboi: A tomboy lesbian. She doesn’t quite fit the stud or femme description. Tombois are usually in between the two extremes and are quite sporty. U-haul Lesbian: A girl who tends to move in fairly quickly with those she dates. With so many labels come varying shades of pink. Shame, I don’t blame Mr X for asking. With my answer of “Gay female” together with the unmoving facial expression on my face, Mr X dropped the questioning faster than a bride’s panties on her wedding night.

Lipstick Mafia: A group of lipstick lesbians who recruit new lipstick lesbians into the lesbian community and form a close-knit protective circle around members of their group of friends.

It is more important to remember that we are shaped by our background, environment, nurturing, experiences and genetic make-up. This is what builds our character, develops our integrity and personality.

Missionary worker: An attempt by a lesbian to seduce a straight woman.

We are mothers, wives, daughters and girlfriends. Neither our sexuality nor our career alone defines who we are.

Pillow Queen: A woman who likes to receive sexually (but refuses to give in return). I

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qrcode-bit.ly-ALxtc1.pdf

2012–12–07

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CAREERS

INTERVIEW WITH

karen fullerton

aren Fullerton has worked as an Ambassador in the UK and US, where under the guidance of her mentor Dr Bill Lumsden, Head of Distilling and Whisky Creation, she became an expert in sensory analysis and the intricacies of whisky production. One of Karen’s key responsibilities is leading the Glenmorangie Academy Education Programme, helping demystify the complex and intriguing world of single malt Scotch whisky to international delegates. A lover of the great outdoors, Karen enjoys her regular visits to the Highlands of Scotland and the picturesque shores of the Dornoch Firth where the delicious Glenmorangie spirit is crafted in Scotland’s tallest stills. She also delights in visiting the rugged landscape of Islay where Ardbeg distillery, famed for its wild and untamed peaty flavours, is nestled. An experienced whisky tutor with a highly trained nose, Karen has already begun travelling the world, enticing global audiences on the delights of Glenmorangie, ‘Scotland’s Favourite Malt’ and ‘The Ultimate Islay Malt’ that is Ardbeg. I

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How did you get into this predominately male orientated industry? I was born in Scotland and brought up in England. I spent most of my holidays in Scotland and inherited a passion for Scotch from my father and grandfather who loved the spirit. I first started with Glenmorangie in a dream sales position covering North Scotland in 2002. In 2004, I took a move across the Atlantic to become brand ambassador in America for Glenmorangie. I was the first female brand ambassador from Scotland in the US. What invigorates me is personally being involved in seeing females becoming avid single malt whisky fans. Why is whisky appealing to the female market? The answer lies in that sense appreciation. It is no different to the male form. Scotch has a complexity that many other types of liquor does not have, and this gives it a well-deserved aura of sophistication This may sometimes be a barrier to gaining female consumers, but once the first step is taken, the journey of Scotch whisky is infinite. As a woman I can say the complexity of Scotch aligns with the complexity of the female species!

How to Taste Whisky Use the right glass

The shape of the glass influences the appreciation of aromas. A tulip shape best focuses the variety of scents and concentrates them at the mouth of the glass. An open tumbler, the traditional ‘lowball’, is not as effective, as the airspace is larger and the aromas become diffused.

Appreciate the colour

This is purely aesthetic as colour isn’t a reliable indicator of age or flavour – a light whisky can still be powerful. The whisky’s colour is drawn from the type of wood used for its maturation.

Nose the whisky

The sense of smell is the most important assessor – far more acute than the tongue. The 32 primary scents the nose can pick up helps you identify the elements in, and style of, the whisky – be it floral, resinate, honey, honeyed, leathery, peaty, and so on. Take care not to nose too vigorously as full-strength whisky is pungent and volatile, and can easily numb your olfactory prowess.

Add a drop of water

Water triggers a chemical reaction that opens up the dense whisky flavours as well as serving to dilute the alcohol for less ’burn’. After this, one usually noses again as the bouquet will have changed somewhat.

Taste

The tongue tastes the primary flavours, informed by the scents that the nose identifies. Fruitiness, spiciness, dryness and sweetness are established. Importantly, the tongue also identifies the mouth feel, or viscosity, from light and delicate to full and heavy. This is the texture and smoothness of the dram, and essential part of the personality. Credit: The South African Whisky Handbook

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CAREERS

How has the profile of the “Whisky Drinker” changed? Whisky is the new drink of the youth who have ”swagger”. It’s not just a man’s drink either… women are appreciating the richness of what used to be an acquired taste more and more. The young up-and-coming whisky drinker is multiracial and full of swag… and often… females. So come on, ladies… time to get whisky savvy! Why does whisky work with food and why are people now talking about whisky and fragrance/perfume? The nose is the most sensitive sensory organ in the body. It can sense one aroma part per million. For example, in a bottle of alcohol at bottling strength of 40% ABV, 59.8% is water and 40% is ethanol, both of which are odourless. This leaves 0.2% for aroma and flavour. There is ten times the amount of sensory receptors in the nose than in the palate, hence it is so vital to get the nose and aroma of the whisky correct. In order to create a great liquid, a perfect nose is compulsory. Correct food pairing allows us to accentuate the features of whisky and to highlight distinct elements in both whisky and food, taking both to a new level. Some great examples of what to pair: - Glenmorangie Original and the zest of an Orange; the oils of the orange peel tempters the oily alcohol notes and the zestiness accentuates the freshness of Original. I

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- Glenmorangie 18 Year and strong cheddar that is extra matured; the cheese accentuates the richness and nuttiness of the 18 year old. How do you tell a bad whisky from a good whisky? It is all about personal preference. Every individual person has a different taste preference. Some people like spicy, some like fruity. It’s all about what flavours you appreciate. Of course I want to say that Gelmorangie is the best whisky in the world (laughing), but it all comes down to what you will enjoy. It is a liquid journey and the flavours it takes you on. What advice do you have for readers, who have a passion for whisky, to pursue a career in this industry? I started of in sales and it gave me all the insights. Different alcohol, bars and consumer needs. At the end it is all about passion, having fun and enjoying what you do. Have fun. I am a great believer that thoughts become things. There will always be obstacles in life, but there will be ways around them. Where there is a want there is a will and always a way. I am a believer in that. Thank you Karen for the one-on-one whisky tasting experience and thank you to FNB Whisky Live Festival for a lovely evening.

Mind Your Business

WIN

In these tough economic times running your own business can be a harrowing experience. We would like to give you a break by offering a free 1 page advert and nationwide exposure for your business in an issue of Alice Magazine. In order to be eligible for this offer your business needs to be a small or medium enterprise (SME) and it must be lesbian owned and/or managed. Send us a short description of your business in 200 words or less. If your business is chosen, you will be required to submit high resolution graphics to support your advert if you don’t already have an advert designed. Please include your full name, contact details, website address, Facebook link etc to alice@alicemagazine.co.za

M A G A Z I N E • T H E G AY G I R L’ S G L O S S Y

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TOP TO BOTTOM LEFT TO RIGHT

*BEAU BELLE WINE *GOAL ZERO GUIDE *INGERSOLL WATCHES *LOCAL IS LEKKER *CHALK BOARD *GOSSARD RETROLUTION *LEVI’S JEANS I

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THINGS FROM WONDERLAND

TOP TO BOTTOM LEFT TO RIGHT

*PINK GIRLFEST *MICHAEL KORS AVIATORS *TRUTH OR DARE BY MADONNA *ANTIQUE CHAIR *WORM FARM *SHOW LOVE WITH A BONSAI *SAMSUNG SMART TV

FASHION

STYLE TIPS FOR A GORGEOUS SUMMER-LOVING

YOU By zando.co.za

ummer is here and it’s time to clear the fashion faux pas webs in your closet and get your summer on to a new you. Zando.co.za has put together a great selection of tips to make this sunny season a breeze. Prints are everywhere this season, ranging from florals, to the infamous leopard print, breaking down barriers in wardrobes worldwide; this great trend is a must for every fashion conscious women. Get yourself a summer staple with eye-catching printed pants or tights, giving your look that bold flair, or you can opt for something more cautious, such as accessories or minimised print items, while still flashing your trendy bravura. Fun and flirty is what summertime is all about. Pick light, sheer fabrics that give you that perfect sexy, yet not revealing-all appeal. This fashion statement can be a gorgeous hi-lo top, combined with a cute pair of floral shorts and sunglasses, or a lovely Kaftan dress, adored by stylish celebs. The keep-it-simple principle does not only apply to computers and your love life: your closet can be your way to serenity, expressing who you really are, making you happy when you get ready in the morning. Embrace the sun, and peel off the layers and choose fun, comfy fabrics. The oversized tee is a great addition to your wardrobe, easy to wear and a great piece to keep you comfortable and stylish. Be adventurous and add a splash of colour to life. Whether you are the pastels or red checked kind of girl, you can use any colour palate that won’t overwhelm your look. For the shy girls out there, choose a colourful accessory as your hued centrepiece or a simple top with dashes of colour. For the bolder ladies, there are many trendy neon tops and pastel colour pants, perfect for every kind of occasion. As you know, dresses come in all shapes and sizes, just like us, so for the chic summer look, you can go long, with the gorgeous body contouring maxi, a hot number for the season, or opt for

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the style that shows just a little bit more skin, a sun or body-con dress. If you are out for the day and planning to go out in the evening, choose a dress that can easily transform you into a diva of the night, just by adding a few simple accessories. Most dresses can easily be worn with flats for day wear and paired with a stunning pair of heels for a night out on the town. The Sundress and kaftan is the picture-perfect dress, designed for the avid seaside goers, making you look like you just stepped off the catwalk under the sun. Just slip this sheer number over your bikini or costume and you’re ready for the beach bar. Now ladies, this doesn’t mean you can use the beach dress as a buffer for ugly swimwear, it’s important to find a swimsuit that fits your shape and personal style. The magic tee is another popular summer fashion staple for your wardrobe. These range from the cropped 60’s style to the masculine fit and oversized designs, some with eye-catching print and other with embellishments, contrasting fabric or plain. Either way, it’s the perfect piece for every occasion, as it can be dressed up or down. Get inspired by fashion of the past, while protecting your eyes from the harsh rays of the sun. Keep it retro by opting for the celeb-influenced 50’s cat eye sunglasses or the 70’s round frames, both complementing every look. Find a pair that suit you’re your face size, as those with smaller faces may look better with a more structured and narrower frame.

www.zando.co.za Canterbury Polo Shirt Pink R299 Crave Mini Shorts Green R239 Jorge Newport Racerback Tank Top Yellow R399 Converse Ladies Chuck Patch Short Sleeve T-Shirt Indigo R179 w w w

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www.zando.co.za LinX Snake Heel Pump Red R199

TECHNOLOGY

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Poems What if

A Call To My Love

What if I was a mermaid And the dog next door married and moved away

What if clouds were made of ice cream And jack made friends with the giant

I send this call to you my Love Borne on wings of a snow white dove Is your heart yearning for mine? Soul-searching across time? I am the missing part you seek The name your soul dares to speak In the distant corners of your mind I have left messages of love to find I am the wind, the morning air Surrounding you – always there. You – a distant memory I can’t erase A glowing beacon through time and space I cry out in the morning – at the days end For my Love, my companion, my life-long friend We are both a spark of the Divine Lives interlinked, souls entwined. Ours is a union, a union of Bliss A single-minded purpose – one consciousness The time is near for us to meet The birds will stop their singing The Angels will weep Together at last never needing to leave A life apart just too much to grieve We’ll create a spark of our own Conceived in love – for Heaven to own Together we’ll watch each setting sun An inner knowingness – the journey’s begun Mind over heart, heart over mind Ours is a force – one of a kind.

What if we could see the Holy Ghost And everyone lived with their best friends wife’s

I send this call to you my Love, Borne on the wings of a snow white dove…

What if maybe was always yes And no was an animal living in our dreams

- Anonymous

What if the trees stopped talking to me And daddy dear never forgot his family in the rain What if the sky started falling And the angels began to scream and run away What if that cow begins to jump over that moon And your shadow decides he wants to play What if we could melt our skin And just become pure wind What if we could forget the stupid things we’ve done And fire could become water instead What if war was a game we played in our dreams And how about running after the rain What if we could spill our thoughts in our hands And wash away this unheard pain What if all the horses stayed in bed till nine And the mirror on the wall told us a lie

What if, What if... - Annabel K

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CREATIVE: POEMS

I am, today I am, today the deep voice of the ocean the first giver of life. I am too, the fleck of foam fading into nothing. Surrender Tonight Leathers tight, stuck to my bike Hidden within the shadows of night Two woman filled with need Our desires, a wild steed… fantasy! Craving skin responsive to gentle touch Eyes that sparkle in pale moonlight Thrown-back head, swollen lips, licked Hear our hearts as awareness melts. Our bodies close, hearts beating fast Sparkling stars from the night sky Serenade us as we blend into one To release the desire within us. With quivering touches and heartfelt desires I feel the silkiness in the skin of your petals Feel my tongue, teasing… erotic Slide shivers run up the spine. You tremor and shiver beneath me And your softness presses upon me Moans, sweet release whispers into my ear Our shadows entwine and I make you mine! All through the night on lush vegetation We shared so much with sensual emotion I pinned your hands, not once but more My body so warm from your hands so skilled. As the day rolls in and the sun shines on us Lying here by your side in the shadow of my bike Your scent so wonderful… your kiss gentle Soft whispers… how do I say… Je t’adore. - Chantal Lombard

I am caught in a cubicle, bound by invisible walls, I am the tiger pacing her cage, orange orbs aglow; freedom still alive in her heart, one bright night to escape into the stars. I am the supplicant praying for guidance, I am the seeker wandering the desert, croaking questions through a parched throat for No Waters has left his mark and the answers are inaudible. I am the one who stopped voicing the truth: the messenger with a gift who was shown the door. I am the hunter without prey shooting arrows of light into the void. I am the dancer without partner who, stepping light-footed among the stars reaches out a hand to touch nothing. I am flesh and blood turning into cold stone I am the one who found what was always there and lost it – for it was said: “It is your imagination.”

Heartbeat The heartbeat of a woman Reveals a world of possibilities Tearing at limitations Pulling away unseen masks Free to soar, through an aching need; sweet tenderness and innocence leaves me overwhelmed on the impression of promises whispered Learning the art Of holding love gently In a fragile world; my heart The heartbeat of a woman Reveals a world of possibility I become one with tomorrow And undergo a rebirth in the end - Carol Simpson

I am the holy grail, the empty vessel before the filling. I am the sword that cuts the Gordian knot. I am the silence blessed by the call of an eagle, I am the wild seeker of freedom who chews off her own leg rather than remain trapped by incomprehension. I am the voice of reason, the laughter of madness, the song of the brook, the roar of the waterfall. I am the storm, the raging wind, the softly rustling leaves. I am the one who lost faith yet cannot stop believing. I am everything, and nothing and the being between. - Marinda de Lange

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MAKE A HYPERTUFA POT

CREATE: DIY

By Tanya Visser

Editor of the The Gardener and Die Tuinier. She is also presenter of the The Gardener TV Show on The Home Channel.

ypertufa, which was invented for use in alpine gardens, is a manufactured substitute for tufa – the porous rock that forms around mineral water springs. Alpine gardeners traditionally used antique animal water troughs as planters, but there was obviously a limited supply of these. Containers made with hypertufa are more porous and much lighter than the water troughs, so they are ideal alternatives. Hypertufa planters in the original trough shape are still popular, however, it is possible to use it to make many shapes. The smaller containers are really quick and easy to make – this one is made using a plastic basin as a mould.

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What you need: Cement Peat (the finer the better) Plastic basin and loose plastic Step 1. Mix 1 part cement to 2 parts peat and add water until the mixture can hold its shape. Step 2. Line the basin with the plastic – it does not have to be smooth as the creases give the pot’s surface extra texture. Pack a layer of the cement mixture into the basin, covering the bottom and sides to a depth of 2 to 3 cm.

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Step 3. Make a drainage hole in the centre of the base. Leave to dry, at least overnight, then remove the pot from the basin. Add more character: After you’ve placed the plastic inside the mould (and before you pack in the cement) line the sides with some dried sphagnum moss. You will find peat and dried sphagnum moss at good garden centres.

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GO GREEN

HOW TO SAVE the world By Marinda de Lange

ou’ve always wanted to know that, right? Here is how to make a start.

Since we are conscious beings, we use our minds not only to make a living, but also to live a meaningful life. Going green is part of the package, because as mindful people we are aware of the impact we have on the earth. How does that translate into action? Try this: IGNITE YOUR MIND WITH EXCITEMENT Simply put: inform yourself. This is something you can do while lying on your back on a couch, or in bed. Or any surface suitable for comfortable lying down and reading. Read green. Get Simon Gear’s book: “Going Green: 365 Ways to Change Our World.” Well-written and light-hearted, it does not bash home the green message with guilt trips, but gives a lot of great ideas in an entertaining way. The wonderful upside here is that you can actually have a lot of fun while saving the world, one person at a time. Do it! Because Simon says.

lucerne and Swiss chard (popularly known as spinach) that went into my smoothie were all homegrown. That means I know it is not genetically modified and that absolutely no poison has been put on it. I also know that it is ultra fresh – I usually drink my greenie within 30 minutes of harvesting the ingredients. A FEW SMALL PRACTICAL THINGS Keep chickens. I just love eggs, and what can be more satisfying than collecting fresh eggs that you know for a fact has been laid by free range chickens in your own back yard? You know what they eat, because you feed them (or they feed themselves, from the garden). They can be heaps of fun to watch, especially if there are little chicks around. Better than television! Another major benefit is that you can teach the next generation, your children, your fairy godchildren or any children that want to hang out with the uber-cool you, where chickens come from. And where eggs come from. Which is not from a shop.

A wonderful magazine I’ve recently discovered is “Simply Green – Leading the Eco Lifestyle.” It is chockful of brilliant information and very useful references regarding just about everything you need to know in order to live green.

One of the more memorable moments with my fairy godchild was when we went looking for eggs and actually saw a hen laying an egg. We must have disturbed her, because, as she got up, the egg dropped out. We collected the egg, thanked the hen, and went to prepare it. Five minutes later, we ate the freshest egg ever.

MUCH MORE MONEY TO SPEND ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND The great thing about going green is that it can save you money. Lots of money. How much do you pay for your food in a day? Have you worked it out? While on holiday recently, I figured out that my daily food expenditure was about R240 a day. Yesterday, I had a couple of greenies and some eggs. While I would like to claim that it cost me nothing, it didn’t. If I add up the labour, seed costs and blender, it adds up to about R10 a greenie. Apart from the savings, even more important is that I know where the ingredients come from. The cucumber, sweet potato, carrot,

In case you’re worried that your chickens will disturb the neighbours, don’t keep a rooster. Hens tend to be much quieter. Most municipal by-laws in South Africa state that you can keep a reasonable number of chickens, but not roosters. If you don’t keep a rooster, the eggs are not fertilised, so you don’t have to worry about eating a baby-in-waiting. Another useful thing about chickens is that they eat almost anything. Virtually all of my kitchen scraps go to chickens, who convert it into lovely, healthy protein. What they don’t eat goes onto the compost heap. The happy upside is that you get eggs that are a lovely deep

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GO GREEN

orange, like the sun rising. None of the pale yellow yolks that look like they’ve seen a ghost. (Or as if the chickens that laid them had never seen the sun.) This way, you get one of the best, cheapest, most animal-friendly sources of protein ever. Just keep in mind that recent research shows it is better to eat the egg as a whole – do not separate out the white only. (That is for all you bodybuilders out there. Oh, and please send photos. No, not of the eggs – I’ve seen many. Of the bodybuilders.) Keeping red wriggler earthworms have also taken off like a rocket – or, rather, like a bird with a worm. You can easily make your own container for the worms, or buy a custom-made one from your closest green market. Whatever scraps don’t go to the chickens, you can feed to the worms. They will change it into the most divine compost for you. REALLY, REALLY SIMPLE STUFF THAT IS EASY TO DO Switch off the geyser when you don’t need hot water. A geyser draws about 70% of your household energy consumption. In winter, I need to switch on my geyser two hours before I shower to have water that is hot enough. In summer, 30 minutes to an hour is ample time to heat the water. You can switch on your geyser manually (like I do) or set a timer to warm the water in the geyser when you’re going to need it. If you only use the power you need for hot water, when you need it, you can save at least 22 hours worth of energy a day! That is a lot. You’ve probably already taken the other steps, such as putting an insulating blanket on your geyser. If you haven’t – what is stopping you? Most hardware and chain stores keep geyser blankets. Switch off lights. That may sound elementary, my dear Watson. No matter how elementary, lots of people still forget to switch off lights. When I forget to switch off a light, my beautiful beloved asks me: “Is that light necessary?” I love her for her conscious living. Alex, a wonderful, earthy lady at the Berg-en-Dal Permaculture Institute, told me once: “Whenever you switch on a

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light, someone in Witbank dies.” While it is a somewhat extreme statement, it is very useful to remember if you find yourself getting profligate with electricity. It is also not far-fetched. A friend who lives in Witbank went for a medical check-up. The results showed a level of metal in his system that was way beyond the accepted maximum. People do die from the results of coal mining. Rivers die, too. Close the tap while you’re brushing your teeth. If you want to know how much water you waste while keeping the water running, just put in the plug. Use solar power – no converter needed. Recycle your tumble dryer and use a washing line for drying your clothes. South Africa is one of the sunniest countries in the world. Your solar powered clothes dryer is right outside: the sun! A tumble dryer is a real power guzzler. An average one uses about three and a half kilowatt-hours per cycle, says Simon Gear. Collect water from the roof to water your garden. This can be as simple as putting a water tank under your gutters to collect the run-off, instead of letting the beautiful rain water run down the drain. In bio-dynamics, there is a belief that water that is freely given (rain, fountains) is of more value to humans and plants than water that is extracted (from boreholes, for example). Collect this free gift! I recently bought an EcoWell, a lightweight, 600-litre container that you can use to collect the rainwater from your roof. Have fun going green! Suggested box: “When I was young, I was scared of the dark. Now, when I see my electricity bill, I’m scared of the lights!” Source: Funny Facts photo.

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PET PALS

Ask Bernice H

i. I have a year old male unsterilized lab who is getting very food aggressive. I have other dogs and kids so I am starting to get worried that he will hurt the other dogs or my children if they go near his food. What should I do? You want your dog to be relaxed around his food and treats such as bones and hooves. Here are three simple exercises that you can do to teach your dog not to be protective of food: 1. While your dog is eating from his bowl, pick up the bowl, place a treat in it and put it back down. This will teach your dog that a person approaching him while he eats is good news. 2. Sit on the floor next to your dog while he is eating and place two or three treats in the bowl as he eats. This will teach him that it’s good to have people around him when he’s eating. 3. When your dog is chewing on a bone or a hoof, walk up to him and offer him a treat – this needs to be something quite irresistible! Put your hand on the hoof or bone or pick it up and then give it back to your dog. You can also do this with toys. I do suggest that you feed your lab separately until the problem is sorted out and make sure bones, rawhides and treats are not left lying around. I also suggest you have him sterilized as soon as possible as this could definitely be the reason this problem has started. Testosterone can make a dog more aggressive. It is also not fair on the dog as he can smell a dog on heat within a 2 km radius, which will cause him to act out. It will also prevent testicular and prostrate cancer. My 8 month old rescue is very destructive and chews everything. I have tried smacking him and shouting at him and he really looks so guilty when I come home from work so I know he knows he has done something wrong. What can I do? There are three reasons why dogs chew: 1. They are bored. 2. They have managed to get hold of something interesting (this is usually your fault!) 3. They have access to areas of the house (e.g. wardrobes, toy boxes) where there are some irresistible objects. Remember that puppies need to chew and you need to provide them with appropriate, interesting things to chew. For example: •  Hooves •  Kongs •  Bones I

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Never leave your dog with fluffy or rubber toys when they are alone – this will just teach them to rip fabric, for example; cushions, pillows, children’s toys and the like. It is never appropriate to punish your dog if you come home and find a chewed cushion or shoe. Your puppy will not remember what he has done. Many people don’t believe this and say “Yes, but when I showed him the shoe he looked guilty – he knew what he had done!” Humans can feel guilty, dogs can’t. Dogs look ‘guilty’ when they are behaving submissively, and they behave submissively when humans shout. You could just as easily show your dog the toaster, a chewed shoe or a bar of soap and say “Bad dog, look what you did!” and you’ll get the same reaction for all three. All your dog knows is that you are always angry when you come home, so he chews to feel better, to de-stress, as chewing is comforting. Ironically, people who arrive home and shout at their dog for chewing actually exacerbate the problem. The dog begins to associate its owner coming home with being shouted at, and perhaps punished, and gets terribly anxious when the owner is out, anticipating the homecoming. And what do dogs do when they are anxious? They chew. And so begins a vicious circle. Puppy-proof your house or create a safe room where you can leave your dog when you go out. Ideally, this room would have a bed, newspaper or a grass tray, water and appropriate toys and bones and nothing else. A safe room could be a bathroom, scullery or a kitchen. You can barricade open-plan areas with a piece of plywood. Consider giving him a sandpit or digging area. Use white building sand and a couple of bags of bone meal as this will entice him into the sandpit area. Also hide some bones, toys and rawhide in the sandpit. Do not shout at him when he digs in the incorrect place, but take him to his sandpit area and show him that he can dig there. Put a bit of Jeyes fluid and some of his poo in the holes that you do not want him to dig in again. Make sure he is getting walked everyday. A tired dog is a calm dog and a calm dog is generally well behaved.

For further help please contact me on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bernice-Jaffe-AnimalBehaviourist/281456785214119 or go to www.bernicejaffe.co.za.

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GETTINGFIT

IT’S A WAY OF LIFE… By Jaqui Dee Havenga

y January is a time known for new year ‘s resolutions, projects and challenges in the attempt to get into shape, drop all the bad habits and finally getting that awesome body we all dream of. However, every year people seem to be even more confused about how to do this. Last year I started my business and I have been working with many people from all walks of life wanting to “get into shape”. One of the things I ask people to fill out on their entry form is what their goal is, and how I may be able to assist them in realizing that goal.

almost just like your bank account. You cannot just fill it up until it is nice and full and then not take care of it by adding a little to it regularly. Because you are alive, your body makes demands on your muscle mass, breaking it down every day. In the same way, living makes demands on your bank account, taking a little bit for this and a little bit for that out of it on a regular basis. Having a strong, healthy, firm body with a low fat percentage is the reward you get for living a specific lifestyle.

What most people don’t understand is that in order for to keep fat off and have firm muscles forever, you also have to keep doing what I teach you to do forever.

This lifestyle involves eating the correct amount of protein, carbohydrates and fat your body needs to maintain its muscle mass, bone structure and healthy organs. You can help to strengthen your muscle and bone structure by doing the right kind of physical exercises and avoiding those things that, when consumed, will cause your body to accumulate excess fat. Having a strong, healthy and sustained financial structure is the reward of living a specific lifestyle that involves going to work and doing a good job every day.

Unfortunately, fat is not a limb, and unlike a limb, it will not be gone forever once it has been removed. It will definitely return to the exact same place if you don’t take all the necessary precautions to prevent that from happening. Muscle tissue is

Every one of us goes out in life looking for the right career or job, which suits our needs, in order to be financially healthy and

Most of them have the same answer: “ I want to lose the unwanted fat on my body and keep it off, and, I want to have nicely shaped and firm muscles forever”.

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NOT A WAY OF GETTING INTO SHAPE

strong. When we find that right job or career we then continue doing it for the rest of our lives. We might change to another job or career a few times in our lives, but we always keep working at it. We don’t just work for twelve weeks or six months or two years until we more or less have some money in the bank. The same goes for getting into shape. You should find the right nutrition plan and exercise program, which suits your needs. Then keep working at it for the rest of your life. You might change a few things along the way, but you will have to keep working at it forever. Just like your financial reward will disappear if you stop working at your job, so will the physical rewards if you stop working at your training and nutrition.

that it is standard the minute it is given to you. Without having any knowledge of your body composition or personal stats, they will normally hand you a photo copy of the same set eating plan that they give to every other person they see. Don’t follow eating plans printed in magazines or that you find with meal replacement shakes. They are all standard, which means that your specific needs and requirements were not taken into account when putting it together. The chances of it working for you on a permanent basis, is zero. What works for one person will definitely not work for the next, unless they have the exact same bodies. Find a trainer who will be able to help you by doing their job as a nutrition consultant properly.

Finding the right nutrition plan and exercise program can become a real headache. There are a lot of quick fix schemes out there and supplement challenges involving crash diets, which simply do not work. It might get you short term results, but in the long run it will only worsen the situation. Be aware of any fitness professional/consultant or nutritionist that hands you a standard eating plan or training program. You’ll know

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SPORT: ADRENALIN JUNKIE

e i k n u j n adrenali

ake a ride on the ZIP 2000, the longest and fastest continuous zip slide in the world!

What is a Zip Slide? Traditionally and somewhat inappropriately referred to as “Death Slides”. Known in the USA as Zip Wires or Zip Slides, in Australia and New Zealand as Flying Foxes and South Africa as Foefie Slides. In the United Kingdom as in the rest of the world, they are now referred to as Zip Wires or Zip Slides or occasionally aerial runways. The zip slide is approximately 280 meters high, two kilometers long, reaches a speed of 150 kilometers per hour plus and guarantees a two to three minute unadulterated adrenalin rush. “With Face Adrenalin’s Bloukrantz bridge bungie jump reaching the Guinness World Book of Records as the highest bungie jump in the world, the Zip 2000 entry as the world’s longest and fastest zip slide is sure to secure South Africa on the international adventurer tourists list of countries to visit”, The Zip 2000 at Sun City adheres to all necessary safety standards and is currently the only Zip Slide to be certified by the Department of Labour. Secured in two harnesses and suspended below a free running trolley that is attached to a steel cable, one experiences the feeling of flying and acceleration as you descend down the wire. Sliders are at times 100m in the air and at other times only 2.5m above the ground. The cable runs from the top of the 280m high koppie to the top of a mast 2km away. Towards the end of the ride, the decent is slowed as you go uphill, then you roll back to the lowest point on the wire where you are assisted to dismount the ride. Solo and tandem slides are available so this ride has an appeal I

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for even the most amateur adventure junkie. Unlike many other adventure activities, this experience is open to young ones from the age of 12, making it a fun activity for the whole family. (so far the oldest person to go down the slide has been a Scottish woman of 84!) The Zip 2000 brings something extraordinary, outrageous and fun to anyone seeking some action and adventure in a truly unique and unforgettable way. The Zip 2000 is more agreeable to some people than say the activity of Bungyjumping, because there is no “free fall” involved. The Zip 2000 is an ideal activity for the adventurous at heart aged 12 years and over. Everyone from bungy jumpers to parachutists, water-skiers to golfers, horse-riders to housewives, in fact – anyone! The zip 2000 is great fun used as part of a team building package for corporate groups visiting Sun City. The start of the Zip 2000 is on the top of a koppie, 5-minutes from Sun City. Bookings for the zip slide experience can be made via the Sun City Welcome Centre Information desk by calling 014-5571544 or 3382 The activity costs R340 per person and departures to the zip slide are every two hours, every day except Mondays. Tours leave at 9:00, 11:00, 13:00 and 15:00. There is only room on the tours for 16, people 10-12 sliders and 4-6 spectators so booking is essential. Spectator fee R90 per person. “With adventure activities being one of the fastest growing markets within the leisure industry, the Zip 2000 is a big draw card to the North West Province as well as Sun City Resort, securing Sun City a spot on the adventure tourist’s map”

Bookings are made through the Sun City Welcome Centre information desk on +27 (0) 14 557 1544/3382.

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2013

INTERNATIONAL GAY & LESBIAN FESTIVALS INTERNATIONAL GAY & LESBIAN FESTIVALS January

Rainbow Reykjavik Reykjavik, Iceland Date: 31 Jan – 3 Feb 2013 More info: www.rainbowreykjavik.com

February

Smashing Valentine – Tennis Tournament Eindhoven, Netherlands Date: 14 – 17 Feb 2013 More info: www.smashingvalentine.nl Sydney Mardi Gras Sydney, Australia Date: 8 Feb – 3 March 2013 More info: www.mardigras.org.au New Orleans Gay Mardi Gras New Orleans, USA Date: 7 – 12 Feb 2013 More info: www.gayneworleans.com

April

Miami Beach Pride Miami, USA Date: 8 – 14 April 2013 More info: www.miamibeachgaypride.com Phuket Pride Phuket, Thailand Date: 22 – 28 April 2013 More info: www.phuket-pride.org

May

Birmingham Pride Birmingham, England Date: 25 – 26 May 2013 More info: www.birminghampride.com

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June

Barcelona Pride Barcelona, Spain Date: 21 – 30 June 2013 More info: www.pridebarcelona.org Dublin Pride Dublin, Ireland Date: 21 – 30 June 2013 More info: www.dublinpride.ie Helsinki Pride Helsinki, Finland Date: TBC More info: www.helsinkipride.fi London Pride London, England Date: 25 – 30 June More info: www.londoncommunitypride. org Los Angeles Pride Los Angeles, USA Date: TBC More info: www.lapride.org San Francisco Pride San Francisco, USA Date: TBC More info: www.sfpride.org Sao Paulo Pride Sao Paulo, Brazil Date: TBC More info: www.brisbanepridefestival.com.au World Pride Toronto, Canada Date: 20 – 29 June 2014 More info: www.seetorontonow.com

July

Amsterdam Pride Amsterdam, Netherlands Date: 27 July – 4 August 2013 More info: www.amsterdamgaypride.nl Madrid Pride Madrid, Spain Date: 3 – 7 July 2013 More info: www.madridorgullo.com

August

Christopher Street Day Hamburg, Germany Date: 27 July – 4 Aug 2013 Website: www.hamburg-pride.de Brighton Gay Pride 2013 Brighton, UK Date: 3 – 4 August 2013 More info: www.brightonpride.org

September

Brisbane Pride Brisbane, Australia Date: TBC Website: www.brisbanepridefestival.com.au

October

Atlanta Pride Atlanta, USA Date: 12 – 13 October 2013 Website: www.atlantapride.org

November

Bangkok Pride Festival Bangkok, Thailand Date: TBC Website: www.bangkokpride.org

FESTIVALS

WOMEN ONLY FESTIVALS January

Women’s Camp Femo, Denmark Date: TBC More info: www.kvindelejren.dk

March

Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival Michigan, USA Date: 6 – 11 August 2013 More info: www.michfest.com

Silver Threads Celebration – Over 50’s Florida, USA Date: 16 – 20 Jan 2014 Website: www.silverthreadscelebration.org

Girl Bar Dinah Shore Week Palm Springs, California, USA Date: 25 – 28 April 2013 Website: http://www.dinahshoreweekend.com/

April

The Dinah Palm Springs, USA Date: 3 – 7 April 2013 More info: www.thedinah.com Dinah Shore Weekend Las Vegas, USA Date: 25 – 28 April 2013 More info: http://www. dinahshoreweekend.com/

May

Russian River Women’s Weekend San Francisco, USA Date: 16 – 20 May More info: www. russianriverwomensweekend.org

June

Festigals New Orleans, USA Date: 20 – 23 June 2013 More info: www.festigals.org

July

LFest - Lesbian Music Arts & Comedy Festival Staffordshire, UK Date: July 19-22 July 2013 More info: www.lfest.co.uk w w w

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August

Women in the Woods Central Oregon, USA Date: 22 – 25 August 2013 More info: www.womeninthewoods.com Women in Tune Music Festival West Wales, UK Date: TBC More info: www.womenintune.co.uk

September

Ohio Lesbian Festival Columbus, Ohio, USA Date: TBC More info: www.ohiolesbianfestival. wordpress.com Pink GirlFest - National Women Only Festival South Africa Date: 20 – 24 September More info: Facebook; Pink GirlFest page / Twitter; @PinkGirlFest Womenfest Key West, USA Date: TBC More info: www.womenfest.com Eressos Women’s Festival Lesvos, Greece Date: 7 – 21 September 2013 More info: www.womensfestival.eu/index. php/festival-opening

SOUTH AFRICAN FESTIVALS

Cape Town Pride Date: 22 Feb -2 March 2013 More info: www.capetownpride.org Durban Pride Date: TBC More info: www.durbanpride.org Ekurhuleni Pride East Rand, Gauteng Date: TBC Website: www.ekurhulenipride.co.za Joburg Pride Date: October More info: www.joburgpride.org MCQP -Mother City Queer Project Cape Town Date: Dec More info: www.mcqp.co.za Nelson Mandela Bay Pride Port Elizabeth Date: September More info: www.nmbpride.co.za Pink Loerie Festival Knysna Date: 1- 5 May More info: www.pinkloeriemardigras.co.za Pink GirlFest - National Women Only Festival Date: 20 – 24 September Soweto Pride Date: Sept More info: www.sowetopride.co.za

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M A G A Z I N E • T H E G AY G I R L’ S G L O S S Y

WIN

*WINWINWIN

WHAT’S IN YOUR BUCKET?

E V I D

Y IN K S PH L O D

A H C

N R A

TO E

L N R SHAV

E MY HEAD TH R HAVE A M AKE-OVER O E

LEAR

N TO RIDE A MO TORB IKE

BI I M

A SE N R U N I CO D Y PH AR A O R GO WHALE W G B O ATCHING D T O N H SA O A P D

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UNTAIN O M E L AB CLIMB T

FUNSTUFF

Meet Lizzy the Lezzy “I’m Lizzy the Lezzy and I’m out and proud I’m Lizzy the Lezzy let’s shout it out loud I’m Lizzy the Lezzy so sing it with me I’m Lizzy the Lezzy and I like… pussy… yes that’s right!”

ellooo! My name is Lizzy and I’m a lesbian. I was born when Ruth decided to create a lesbian animation. Growing up, I was always a bit of a tomboy and I had my first lesbian kiss when I was 24. I came out to my parents shortly afterwards when I had been with my first girlfriend for 3 months (we broke up after about a year, but now she’s my BFF like all my ex girlfriends).

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I like to hang out with my mates Gary the Gay, Danny the Tranny and Kate the Straight. You can read all about them in my book “Lizzy the Lezzy Gets Laid” which I wrote and produced myself. I make stand-up comedy videos on YouTube and if you want to keep up with my lesbian adventures on a regular basis you can sit on my Facebook or follow my Twatter. Peace, muff-munchers! A word from Ruth, creator of Lizzy the Lezzie: Many have asked how I came up with the idea of Lizzy the Lezzy. I was post break-up from a 4 year relationship, depressed and bored with being a flash web designer. I chatted to an old school friend, Daniel, who suggested I sign up to Myspace. At the time I didn’t even have a clue what Myspace was! Faced with a blank profile and wanting to impress any lesbian ladies who might stumble upon my page, I thought to myself, “What can I do? I’m a lesbian and an animator. I know, I’ll make a lesbian animation!” I Googled “lesbian animation” and didn’t find anything. I had no idea what this “lesbian animation” would be, but I knew I needed a lesbian character before anything else, and I drew Lizzy. I gave her some lines to say and a little intro song “I’m Lizzy the Lezzy and I’m out and proud!” I uploaded the video to Myspace and searched out a few lesbians to introduce myself and Lizzy. “Make more!” said the lesbians, so I did. That’s how the Lizzy the Lezzy series was born. T - @LizzytheLezzy F - www.facebook.com/LizzyTheLezzy YouTube - www.youtube.com/user/lizzythelezzy

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FICTION/FACTS

By Caron Laubscher

here are some things in life one should never do. Things like not paying your TV licence, go swimming on a full stomach (especially if that full stomach belongs to someone else) and texting after a full glass of wine. However, there are some things in life that are unavoidable. Occasionally events occur of which we have bad memory, selective memory or no recollection whatsoever. I am reminded of an evening I took a lovely girl to dinner. We had been emailing for a while and meeting her seemed like the next logical step. The restaurant was known to have the best burgers in town and we were both keen to see if this was true. We had fun debates, and playfully argued that the burgers we each ordered was the one that was the best. After sampling each other’s food, I came to the conclusion that hers was indeed the best. Being as stubborn as I am I would not admit to it. I decided much later that night to reveal what I really thought as I wanted her to know that her burger tasted better than mine and to be honest I quite fancied a second date. So I sent her an SMS. When I got no reply I became concerned, so I sent another message asking her if she had received my previous text. She had read it but wanted me to explain myself and what I meant. I began describing how hers was much tastier and more meaty. Mine was pretty bland by comparison. I also had not had the option of any sauce on the side which made hers more value for money. What followed was a phone call from her in which all hell seemed to break loose. I was accused of being rude and presumptuous. I tried to tell her that we each got what we asked for, and asked how this made me rude. Oh not only that – I was apparently also a pervert and she never wanted to see me again.

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I poured myself a glass of wine and in my mind replayed what happened. Nope. Still not any clearer. As some sort of confirmation of my own sanity I checked the sent messages on my phone. It was there that I discovered, to my horror, that “burger” is not the first option in predictive text. It came second to “bushes”. My glass of wine panicked and fell straight into my mouth. “Stupid, stupid!”, I thought. I of all people should know better. I should have checked before sending. Next time I must remember the second option. I was still repeating this to myself when I sent her the message: “I am so sorry I can kick myself”. Her subsequent reply made the most obscure and vivid reference to a deity that I had to look up in my reference manual: “Deities for Dummies”. Here I was trying to apologise. She was clearly the one being rude not to mention blasphemous. As a token gesture on her behalf, and to atone for her sins, I had some more wine. Again, as some sort of confirmation of my own sanity I checked the sent messages on my phone. It was there that I discovered, yet again, to my horror that “kick” is not the second option in predictive text. The word I sent was “lick”. I felt like I was watching some horrible crash in slow motion and I was powerless to stop it. Why didn’t I check? I tried again, my fingers trembling. “No, no, forgive me. I did not mean to send!” I took another slow motion sip of wine. She then called me a player. A two-timing something-or-the-other that turned out to be a very rude word in my reference manual: “Rude Words for Dummies”. And, so again, as some sort of confirmation of my own sanity I checked the sent messages on my phone. It was there, sigh,

FICTION/FACTS

that I discovered, even more horrifying than before, that I did not say “send”. Somehow in my frantic state it was the option, “Rene”, that I chose. This most likely upset her as her name was Marlene. I knocked over the bottle of red wine, which spilled over the carpet as it filled my glass before falling to the floor. I took out my reference manual: “Removing Wine Stains for Dummies”, as clearly I was going to need this soon. I tried phoning her but she wouldn’t take my calls. By this time I started feeling quite light-headed from the wine that I had hoped would give me some clarity. I was wrong. The label on the bottle warned about operating machinery. In hindsight I should have listened and bought a better quality wine. I vowed not to send another message till morning. Perhaps a fresh, clear head would bring better solutions. If I was to in any way salvage what little there was left of a potential second date, I had better well put my best clog forward in order to explain and apologise. I fumbled through my bookcase for my reference manual: “Apologies and Faux Pas for Dummies”. I needed all the reference material I could lay my three eyes on. My head was pounding. I closed one eye and it felt more balanced. I made my way to the bedroom as I thought it best to sleep off all the confusion of the night. I couldn’t decide between the multitude of beds I saw, so just fell into the first one I saw that spun around the room. I woke up in my laundry basket. Is this what a basket case feels like? I had clear vision in one eye and what looked like leopard print in the other. I removed what was a G-string that covered my vision and was relieved to see only one bed in the room. Clearly, I missed that the night before. These things always spin faster than you realise. Suddenly I remembered what happened the previous

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night. A knot formed in my stomach. I poured myself a strong cup of coffee after realising that I do not own a leopard print G-string. Exactly how much did I have to drink? I sat down and began to formulate my apology. I made sure I turned spellcheck and autocorrect off favouring to do that later. I couldn’t risk anything being changed as I typed. There had to be no margin for error. I apologised to her for the messages she had received and for being remiss in first checking what I had typed out. I explained that I didn’t mean that her “bushes” tasted better than mine. I was referring to the burgers we had the night before. I was in fact not “licking” myself but “kicking” myself. I, in fact, do not know anyone called Rene nor was any inappropriate consumption happening with her. I was merely a very sad victim of predictive text and would she please forgive me. I reviewed what I wrote, did a final spell check and pressed the send button. I received an almost immediate response. Just three words: “We should talk”. I was overjoyed. I felt waves of relief wash over me. Perhaps there was hope for a second date after all. It was so wonderful to have been given a break. A few years from now we’d surely look back at this incident and laugh. Maybe it will form part of the tapestry that would be our future life together. It felt good to know that all was not lost. I really liked her. Again, as some sort of final confirmation of my own sanity I checked the sent messages in my email. It was there that I discovered, speechlessly, that it was sent to “Mom”... This is certainly the last time I buy cheap wine.

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PSYCHOLOGY

on the couch WITH DR TINA

ll new, direct, no-nonsense, to the point advice on love, dating, friendships, commitment ceremonies, make-ups and breakups, joint children, in and out-laws and everything in between. Get in touch with Dr Tina, exclusive to Alice Magazine: letters@alicemgazine.co.za About Dr Tina Beckham: - clinical psychologist, NLP Master Practitioner EFT Master, and hypnotherapist. She is working with 11 hospitals in the UK as well as private patients. Friends with benefits I feel like such a naïve idiot! I have had a major crush on a girlfriend in my circle of friends for years. She ended her relationship and was hinting at taking a “bed buddy”. I couldn’t stand by and know she was having sex with someone else, more so, a person who didn’t love her as much as I do – so I offered to be that buddy! We went for it, often and whenever we wanted. The sex meant feathers to her, but I fell more deeply than ever before. Do I tell her or not? She is not dating anyone, not out and about either, no other love interest and it’s been going on for about a year now. What do you think?

From Denise via email

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can have it all, so don’t be so willing to settle for less. One of your lines is pure sexual jealousy, the line says it all. It’s time to brave up and talk through your feelings, you may be surprised. However, if they’re not reciprocated then start to date a woman who wants to be with you. Let us know the outcome so that we can write an update. BF’s is a Hottie, Flirter!

I love my girl. We’ve been together for two years. Her new best friend is way totally hot. Hard to be around as

she’s always with us - a major flirt! At every opportunity, she is cutting eyes at me, checking me out when my girl is not looking or not in the room. I pretend I don’t want to get it on with her, but the attraction is there, boiling underneath the surface of our conversations; it’s hard. How do I deal with this, what can I do?

Not many ground rules with the best friend flirting so blatantly with you! Moreover, it sounds like you need to

undertake a re-evaluation of your feelings. Together for two years and suddenly attracted to her friend. Why now? There are some deeper, personal issues that you’re not talking about. You must

It’s very trendy. Bed buddies (also known by other names) brings about the true meaning of the bosom buddy. Sometimes there can be a few confusing signals. Make sure you get the deal down and agreed. I’ve noticed there are “bed buddies” that can come about as a result of an unrequited love – becoming a lover adds a further layer and dimension of I

complications, you’re the “buddy” that has crossed the line! You

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figure out if this is really the woman you want to be seriously involved with long term. If you’re committed, you need to quickly erase all fantasies of the hot friend. (The only exception to that statement is if your girlfriend is totally cool with you relieving pentup sexual tension all over her best friend to meet your sexual needs.) Deal with the situation by uncovering your inner truth.

PSYCHOLOGY

Still living with the ex! My long term girlfriend and I have broken up. We continue to live in the same duplex, just for financial reasons really. We are in separate rooms and lead totally different lives. It’s quite uncomfortable at times, especially if we try to bring our dates back home. We’re trying to make it work, until we can afford separate places. All of our friends think we’re crazy and keep telling me to ask her to hit the road and buy her out of the property. What should I do or say to them?

Facebook inbox message - Asria in Lenasia

Your predicament is quite common in the current economic situation, which has forced couples to evaluate the best way to secure their financial future. In some cases, a personal sacrifice is required. Most of your friends will tell you not to continue living in the same home with your ex, no doubt they will have a lot to say too. Necessity demands that you’re both mature about the situation. As you had been in a long term relationship, you care enough about each other due to the shared past to ensure that neither of you is homeless, no matter how temporary the situation may be.

as I don’t have anyone anymore. How can I deal with the situation better than I do? Via email - Annetta in Potchefstroom

Often single women do feel they’re the outsider in a clique of friends when they don’t have a partner. Your friends are sympathetic of your sensitive disposition. Unleashing your jealous streak on your friends should be controlled. Guard your comments and actions so they don’t hurt others. Jealousy creates mischief and it is a destructive emotion. Your loneliness is heightening the need for attention. Emotional intimacy is key, which is what you’re lacking, as you’re not the most important person in someone else’s life. If, as you state you are comfortable being single, then convey that during your time with your friends. If all else fails, it would be better then for you to have dinner away from your territory, your home, at a neutral place. Disclaimer: The content of this column provides general information only and should not be treated as a substitute for medical advice or medical therapy of any other nature.

Tired Third Wheel My friends pop over for dinner a lot and as I’m a chef, I do entertain quite a bit. They’re all in relationships, and as such, I’m the third wheel, the outsider! For the most part, I am comfortable being single at the moment but at times I do get jealous, which leads to snappy remarks and sulking. The evening tends to end abruptly and earlier than usual. I feel sorry for myself

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STARS

sapphic sister *** By Beverli Rhodes

elcome to 2013! The theme for this year is Gurlz Rule! Yes, we can have it all ...

The planet has a great new lease on life after the end of the Mayan calendar and the move into the next phase. So, hang on tight, don’t close your eyes and fade away, “‘cos gurlz just wanna have fun”. There are some auspicious dates for a successful loving civil partnership (gay wedding!) specifically, the Jupiter trine Saturn in late June 2013 through until mid August 2013. The saving grace is Jupiter, an expansive planet with Saturn being the more conservative of energies. Great combination, colliding even though the two planets are completely different. In 2013 planets collide, they meet, match, make-out and flow together creating an easy balance. Jupiter trines Neptune in July 2013 until the end of August 2013. All the otherworldly romance, imagination, savvy of the soul are found in Neptune. So different is Jupiter, open, excitable, seeking - as crisp as a Pringle chip. An ideal partnership As your wedding partnership is the “birthday” of your relationship, some extra special days are the eclipses, specifically the solar eclipse on the November 3rd 2013, and the lunar on the April 25th, October 18, 2013. These are also very special and can make dreams, wishes and prayers come true. True love will always unite and never divide. Not all ceremonies are the same - remember, the shoe that fits one person, may just pinch another woman’s foot! You deserve to be happy. Don’t forget your worthiness throughout 2013, let your choices and actions be guided by love!

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The year 2013 will be quite dynamic for you. Nothing will be simple so don’t rush into things. It’s an unusual phase of your life. Your role among friends and work colleagues is set to be reinforced for the better. You shall turn out to be a helping hand, which will be rewarded with much success and blessings on you. Get out there, girl, the planetary energies are on your side (for a change!) For those in love and in a relationship it’s stable in your love life. For those looking, camping, chasing or on the market, refreshing change is on its way. Don’t push down the odd experimentation either – you may just find what you’ve been looking for. The most exciting time is from now through until the end of April. Thereafter it’s quiet but enjoyable, with intense emotions. In March-April 2013, relationships will catch attention, will mobilize energies and dictate the nature of decisions and actions. Emotions will be intense and immediate, and reason will hardly manage to make a stand in front of them. You can now experience the hottest moments, but you can also be extremely imprudent. Make full use of your creativity to come up in life this period. In general peace and tranquillity would prevail in your life. Your status in life improves for a change! Be aware of your partner’s issues as you will be great, but they can be in difficulty (health, career or other areas of their life). Be strong and caring. Since October last year, the planet Saturn entered Taurus, the house of couples. Trials and issues outside your relationships of all types are part of the issues you have and can still face. A strong relationship will just get stronger. February is a loving time, throughout the month. Use the time wisely, be sentimental, romantic (not just for St Valentine’s day either). The good vibes have the potential to stretch as far as the first half of March. Fire and erotic fantasy could see happiest months of the year - go for it!

you for a while. Use the time wisely to get close and personal with your loved ones. Everything that will be related to relationships, either good or bad, will grow to a large scale and will be significant. Essentially some situations can become complicated. Try not to over analyse January and February too much as the process of research and investigation can cause anxiety. “Money, money, money…” as the song goes, will be part of your thoughts daily for the first few months. Don’t worry too much about the other’s feelings and intentions; expect the best from them and that is what you will receive. They will cope with you and your needs. You have Neptune in the house of career. Adding to that planetary party, Jupiter is located in Gemini. Your work talents and job survival will make you more aware of the fact you’re not as fulfilled as you would like to be. Wait it out as Jupiter will get back on track by the end of January and bring answers for you, as your previous bad luck ends. A dynamic January and 2013 ahead with great adventures and fabulous events. As the planet Mercury, the Sun and Venus will join Pluto at various times, your search for the soul mate - that perfect one could offer results. You can finally, look on the bright side. Total success in becoming half of a positive relationship will depend on you and your communication. Please be diplomatic. Let the next true love story be yours. For those already involved, the Cancerian woman within becomes reliant on your insight and awareness. As you know, the person of your choice is with you. She may be a bit flouncy, fragrant with an abundance of art, baking, a variety of food options and in some cases even children. You have the ideal lover, earth-mother and entertainer – do all that you can to keep the relationship on track. Ignore if sometimes it’s a bit much even for you, you love her after all! Job and career prospects will depend on contacts and collaboration with others as there

Venus (the love planet) is in your house of couples, creating the possibility of love, harmony, affection and mutual understanding. If you are starting a new love life, all the positive aspects are with

is a need for teamwork to sniff out the right jobs and opportunities. Spare yourself the hassle of conflict. Rather try to find the middle path between being defensive or aggressive.

STARS A great time ahead: relaxed with

ruler) remains in the house of couples for an

the promise of better things to

extended period.

come. January and most of February will be busy. Such fun!

Financially, and also for the job seekers out

Expect many requests from all and

there, you have an opportunity to stand out, be

sundry - both good and bad. The past has

noticed and land that perfect job or promotion.

been rather tough and quite inflexible. Some

The energies are positive to improve your

situations have been triggered by you being

situation, even if you’ve been a bit down about

stubborn, making issues a bit difficult to solve,

it. The top of the shop, best time frame is

but they will be cleared in the nicest possible

February, May and early June where your past

way.

efforts will pay off!

Leo’s house of couples has the planet of Mars

There is travel on the horizon, which can be

firmly in it. Mars will tease you into action -

just for professional purposes. You have such a

reaction, even. The mighty lions’ dynamism,

busy time ahead, with foreign countries, distant

desire and passionate impulsiveness will

companies and opportunities. More generally,

need to be tamed a little. Watch your lack

Jupiter flutters about in your star sign, which

of diplomacy (you know what you can be

will usher in “string-pulling” success in work,

like) as what you say can cause many

school, college, university, cultural arts, as well

misunderstandings, leading to arguments. Your

as all types of publishing, property sales and

partner or love interest will test your resolve.

development and even some legislation. All are

Make a point heard, though not sternly. All

tied in with financial benefits.

types of communications can be troublesome and being able to talk through issues will be

Well, you’re certainly in for a

hard to accomplish. Try to be even more

busy and full year. Your career

tolerant than usual.

and job hunting will be positive, making amazing progress. A

Smiles all round in the job prospects side

positive presence is the planet

of your life: good management of your

of Neptune in Libra’s house of work (for a long

opportunities and choosing carefully will find

period too), so you can be creative, artistic

you on the right path to achieve your goals (and

even, and use your talents, especially in the

chase your dreams).

work place. If you’re looking for a career or a job, don’t become too disorganised or lose

The spotlight is on all the Virgo

focus. Stay level headed as the path of destiny

babes! Planets align creating a very

is looking up for you.

real, erotic, sexually sensual, yet level headed experience for the year

You have a few moments this year where

ahead. For the single ladies, you’ll

Mercury will start to travel backwards for a bit.

get your hopes high. Total irresistible passion

This will influence deals, exchanges, sales,

could generate a longer term commitment.

and transactions; in some cases it may cause

If you’re not ready to settle down for the

delays in trips, as well as contributing to slight

home, hearth and white fence, then entertain,

irritation with regard to money and finances.

at the very least, a few months of intense

This may include, in some cases, any goods

dedication. (Just don’t be the cause of painful

that are special, like those with sentimental

disappointment). Bring it on, baby!

value. Just ride it out: the issues are not going

For the happy couples, the real world has set

to be huge.

in, which is due to change as Pluto shimmies into the Virgo house of eroticism. All your

In your love life, expect the unexpected, with a

senses will come alive and explode in a

degree of change in your relationship and the

sensory overflow! Even if you’ve been together

partner’s behaviour, if you’re involved. If you’re

forever (and experienced the “lesbian-bed-

out there free and looking, then you will have to

death” syndrome ) you will be on a trip into your

be reinvented, shine the spotlight of your best

innermost desires with your partner. Being that

attributes, change your look and the way you

deep can cause a bit of confusion, though.

approach the ideal partner (don’t stay stuck in a

Just go with the flow while Mercury, (Virgo’s

rut, girl) then you will get lucky – soon!

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Make sure that you watch over and take care of your health. Try to be a bit more organized and create a better balanced lifestyle too. Although not an easy year, in 2013 there are many new opportunities and partnerships that will require time and effort, bringing along with them an extra emotional load, which will be worth it in the end. Looking through the planets there is the pain-in-the-butt, Saturn, limiting your freedom, forcing the choices you make (Those made out of necessity and need.) Fight back, girl, be positive, and spend time around happy successful people to break Saturn’s spell. Watch your health too, with Saturn floating about up there! Keep an eye on your skin, hair, teeth and the immune system. But … yes there is a BUT … Saturn will also allow a fab result in weight loss and the ability to get rid of those nasty habits like smoking, excess drinking of alcohol, and recreational drugs - even choc-o– holics can benefit! As the planet Uranus moves into your sign, it can have an effect on work. Focus on the planet’s strength and use the time that Uranus is irritating your sign to your advantage. Make sure that your job/career/work is not affected adversely. (You could find that you get a bit bored). Job seekers: get to work on planning a campaign to get you noticed using social media and even do a video blog of yourself telling the new employer all about how fantastic you are – get noticed, girl! While Saturn is in the sign of Scorpio, you will have control as long as there is a plan. Don’t rush with decisions! Meanwhile, Jupiter offers financial assistance in the first part of this year. The planets show an extra income or resource coming in from an unusual source, which could be a partner’s or family money, inheritance, a secret donation, sponsorship, insurance or similar. The trine Jupiter will make with Saturn in Scorpio will bring stability and balance. You can build your future slowly and carefully, expressing your inner talents.

>>> I

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STARS What a fab year ahead! Some of the most energetic planets are in the right place at the right time for you! What a result. This year Sag has the corner on love and sexuality. Be ready to experience original, the exotic, nonconformist and kinky things. Amazeballs! For those who have a partner, there is the potential to be blissfully happy. Your relational needs will bring about a thirst for greater affection, with a need to give. Get romantic, sensual and sentimental girl – go on, give it a whirl. You’re going to go through a very happy phase in your relationship - it is time to fall in love with her all over again!

change, surprises, and even restless rebellion. The planets are ready to take charge, so swing into action. For the single ladies, there will be a variety of opportunities for love, dates, steamy reconciliations, and meeting old flames and loves. The year becomes full of positive tenderness. Open your heart, as there is a promise of a long term relationship.

Sag can also be happy being single again if you’re unhappy in your present relationship. Being confined with someone that you are not totally in love with could end this year, especially if your life lacks finesse, home comforts, sexual compatibility and has become a bit suffocating - you will demand your freedom.

who can hold a good conversation, who are patient, kind caring and great lovers! For the single amongst you, please do be careful of forbidden love (and lust too). Be aware that you will be tempted a lot through the year. The erotic side of Jupiter is firmly in your sign until the 20th of January. After that, it will go back onto its usual path. Grab the warmth of fab opportunities. Oh, and … be discreet! Your energy levels are high which can lead to making mistakes and irritating others who are not as upbeat.

Take a moment to think ahead for career and job prospects. There will be opportunities, but generally, it’s quite a neutral year. Don’t take the risk of swapping and changing jobs, even if it is for more money in the short term. The big carrot should be a lot of extra money before you make a career switch. Better to have a job that pays than no job at all. Do not spend more than you can afford. Any legal battles will be won over the year. All in all, it looks positive all round. Breathe a sigh of relief. There is indeed a better year than the previous one. The way forward is clear, with no further obstacles in your way. Jupiter brings about attractive opportunities, including an adventure in the second half of the year. The Capricorn’s search for absolute spirituality continues. You have Pluto in your sign which will allow for intense desires emotions and energetic intuition. Uranus is situated in Aries for the next few years. The planet will be responsible for all sorts of issues within your home, with your parents and properties (such as leaks, hail damage and other house issues). It’s your time to taste

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Nothing new is foreseen for the first few months. The pure twilight zone of safety is blessing happy couples as the year is associated with retreat, loving glows of warmth and happiness. Aquarian women love pretty eyes and women

As Mars is in the Aquarian house of career, you may struggle a bit - with an obstacle or two – yet you will keep your job and career on track. You will win. With some strategic thinking, be willing to take on some things that you wouldn’t normally want to do. Be firm and determined. For those looking for work and a career, it’s time to lay solid foundations. Define and attract a stronger career, offering prestige, the fame of a being seen as a competent person and the respect of colleagues (including new ones). On the financial side, be wary of get-rich-quick schemes. Keep to what you believe in as there are those who will try to tempt you with strange deals. Use the positive time ahead to your advantage. You’ll be pretty much in good shape in early 2013. Luckily, Mercury is in the Pisces’ house of couples, and coupled in with it, sharing the same space, is the planet Venus along with all its romantic, seductive cheer. Try not to cause too much envy!

If you already have your special one and only in your life, then for 2013 you and your lady will have a fab time together with your friends, even getting to go out a lot together. This is not the time for arguments or strife so just give-in, (I know you hate to do that) but it’s best this time around to avoid apathy and a state of dissatisfaction. For the single fishies, there is an energy train of entertainment, shows, a course, a reunion, club or an association activity, which pushes through new romantic interests. You can even meet somebody in those places through friends as they will have a strong influence on the way relationships move forward in 2013. For the career girls, job seekers or business entrepreneurs, the first months of the year will be choc-a-block full of plans, which will become future accomplishments. Many new business supporters, as well as great project collaborations, will bring about full benefits later in the year. You might have to face some challenges in the area of new job prospects, studies, sport, art, higher education and a variety of activities, which cause a few uncomfortable moments Overall, you can fulfil a burning hope as you will have the time and opportunity to make a dream come true – check it out and go for it!.

INTERNATIONAL

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EATINGOUT

where to eat: BELUGA O

n arrival we were attracted by the light shining into the beautiful restaurant, situated outside Gateway Shopping Centre. We were greeted by three gorgeous hostesses, one of whom escorted us to our table. Once comfortably seated, we took in the ambiance. Beluga is a large split level restaurant sans ceilings, showcasing the trendy and popular less is more “ducting” style. The restaurant was pretty full; we heard a low rumbling of voices above subtle background music. The waiter introduced himself and handed us each a Caviar magazine. Yes, the menu is inside a magazine, a refreshingly different presentation than the same old, same old. The magazine is packed with over 100 hundred pages of articles, recipes and history about the Caviar Group, food and people. Let’s talk about the food! For starters we ordered the mussels and calamari respectively. As something new we shared Asian dumplings; Dim Sum Har Gau (spinach & cream) and Dim Sum Cha Siu Baau (duck & sweet BBQ sauce). Our main course consisted of the half price “Green Plate” sushi and the beef fillet. The manager surprised us with white chocolate beignets to share. What a taste of heaven! Lindt white chocolate beignets, vanilla bean ice cream and butterscotch sauce… and the recipe is in the magazine! Our bill, before gratuity, came to R490.00 including drinks. Overall our rating is 10/10, the perfect place to dine with a group of friends or to lunch with clients during the day.

WIN WIN WIN 2 Lucky readers will each win a R500 voucher for a dinner for two at Beluga Cape and Durban. Like our Facebook page and e-mail us on alice@alicemagazine.co.za, tell us if you want to dine in Durban or Cape Town Beluga I

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Wines

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06â&#x20AC;&#x201C;2013 â&#x2C6;Ť

ENTERTAINMENT

madame zingara adame Zingara returns to the Mother City for her farewell Miracle Tour It is with great excitement that the Madame returns to Cape Town after a sell-out year on the road and, for the first time ever, two great icons of the Mother City will join forces. Madame Zingara is to be hosted by the city’s very own crown jewel, the prestigious V&A Waterfront, and it promises to be a very hot summer indeed.

“It is a very great honour to have secured one of South Africa’s premier destinations,” says Richard Griffin, producer and MD of the renowned dinner theatre production, “and, after over 180 000 standing ovations since the start of The Miracle Tour, I believe that this show is truly one of Madame Zingara’s masterpieces and possibly our best yet.” As this will be Madame Zingara’s last visit to the Mother City for some time, The Miracle Tour is a specially created and evolving tale; a unique reenergised body of work which will see the introduction of brand new acts throughout the run. Created and directed by the formidable trio of Richard Griffin, Craig Leo and Valentina Love, the unique Miracle Tour showcases the very best in local and International talent. To mention but a few, guests will be enchanted by the masters of the ancient lcarian games from Asia, the mesmerising triple strength act from Fort Lauderdale and, a first for South Africa, The Grouchos from Span and Argentina. The Madame has been warming up the Zulu kingdom and bringing down the house nightly with the brand new high impact vocal troupe, The Specifics, comprising four multi-talented South African vocalists, who belt out the most memorable of the old favourite hits, getting feet tapping and the party started in true Zingara-style. Exhilarating from beginning to end, your night with the Madame is jam-packed with enthralling sensory experiences; from the fairytale characters who populate the tent and the drama, suspense and thrill of the show to a delectable four course meal prepared by gourmet chefs. The show opens 16 January 2013, and runs nightly from Tuesday to Saturday. Tickets range from R385 – R475. For more information contact 0861 623 263 or visit www.madamezingara.com For media queries contact: Lina Lupini Lina@madamezingara.com 0839228802

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INTERNATIONAL

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THEATRE REVIEWS

TAP DOGS Stronger, faster, louder and more

KKNK Dansteater

outrageous than ever before, it`s the

Regisseur: Cairen Loubser

same hard stomping, tough, pulsating

Met

Shaleen Surtie Richards, Neels van Jaarsveld, Valiant

dance machine but it`s re-energised,

Swart en danser Ignatius van Heerden, Mark Hoeben,

re-vitalised and bursting with the sexy,

Celeste Botha, Megan Erasmus, Charlie van Tooyen en

rough and ready appeal exclusive to

John M Sithole.

the “Dogs”. They are still the hottest male tap dancers found South of the equator and there`s the added ingredient of a few stunning female forms alongside the energetic male tappers...

Na ‘n wegholsukes en staande ovasies is die uitverkoope dansproducksie terug in Oudtshoorn. Kom kyk hoe die verhoog aan die brand dans. Van klassiek tot kontemporer en

This unique tap dance show played to sell-out crowds in South Africa

Snotkop se Dis ‘n land!

in 2009 and is set take the country by storm again in 2013 with its ever popular explosion of 80 minutes of non-stop dance that combines the

Oudtshoorn

strength and power of workmen with the precision and talent of tap

29 Maart – 6 April 2013

dancing and with gorgeous female drummers on either side of the set! Teatro at Monte Casino, Jozie 12 February – 10 March 2013 Artscape Opera House, Cape Town 13 March – 24 March 2013

BOOK REVIEWS

Wicked Business by Janet Evanovich With supernatural powers, pastry chef Lizzy and her unnaturally talented partner in all things magical Diesel, have been entrusted with protecting the world from evil. Lizzy and Diesel have to search for an ancient relic believed to be infused with the power of lust. Following the cryptic clues Lizzy and Diesel leave behind them a trail of robbed graves and ransacked mansions.

Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain by Portia de Rossi In this groundbreaking memoir, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades, from the time she was a twelve-year-old girl working as a model in Australia, through her early rise to fame as a cast member of the hit television show Ally McBeal . All the while terrified that the truth of her sexuality would be exposed in the tabloids, Portia alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and concealing from herself and everyone around her the seriousness of her illness. She describes the elaborate rituals around food that came to dominate hours of every day and explores the pivotal moments of her childhood that set her on the road to illness. She reveals the heartache and fear

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that accompany a life lived in the closet, a sense of isolation that was only magnified by her unrelenting desire to be ever thinner, ever more in control of her body and the number of calories she consumed and spent. From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to a life of health and honesty, falling in love and marrying Ellen DeGeneres and emerging as an outspoken and articulate advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues. In this remarkable and landmark book, she has given the world a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.

MUSIC REVIEWS

P!nk – The Truth About Love

Sterling EQ – Pulse

Alecia Moore, a well-known favourite among the ladies, returned this year

Sterling EQ released its much anticipated third album, Pulse, in August

with a bang. An unexpected album title and an even more unexpected

2012, under the EMI label. The quartet’s debut album Nova, produced by

disc full of well

the multiple award-

written/produced tracks. Collaborating again with

winning Gabi Le Roux, was released in March

producers like Max Martin and Shellback.

2009. In April 2010, Sterling released their first

With mostly the same subject matter followed

live DVD – Sterling EQ Live in Concert (filmed

through the whole album, as the title suggests

at the Artscape Opera House in front of a

it, a disc filled with songs of love (with different

1200-strong live audience), and in October

takes on each track of course) was something

2010 the band proved its versatility with the

I was quite skeptical about coming from P!nk.

release of their second album, Sterling Speel

She made sure to impress with duets from

Afrikaans. This album serves as the group’s

Fun.’s Nate Ruess, Lily Allen and Eminem.

tribute to Afrikaans music and music writers,

Including soothing ballads to just plain cheeky-ass songs

and of course Sterling EQ’s Afrikaans fans, and was

as she’s known for to some proper party anthems. You could say it’s just

nominated for a 2012 Huisgenoot Tempo Award.

another P!nk album, which would not be a bad thing in context, but there

All three releases were nominated for SA Music Awards (SAMAs), with

is something undeniably fresh here. With fantastic pop-rock hooks and

the Live DVD clinching a coveted award in the category Best Jazz /

recognizable lyrics predominantly written by the artist herself. This is a disc

Instrumental / Popular Classical DVD in 2011. This has contributed to

you can add to the other 5 albums I’m sure you already own.

extensive local and international interest in the group, and cemented Sterling’s reputation as one of the most successful instrumental act ever to

Cream of the Crop: Try, Just Give Me A Reason,

come out of South Africa.

How Come You’re Not Here Rating: 4/5

Cream of the Crop: Khulu’s Groove, Chimera Rating: 4/5

DVD REVIEWS

A Perfect Ending

Elena is overwhelmed with a desire to do just that. Despite Peyton’s

Directed by: Nicole Conn

women fall deeply in love, both keenly aware a future together might be

Starring: Barbara Niven, Jessica Clark, John Heard, Morgan Fairchild A repressed and uptight socialite, Rebecca lives a perfect and pointless life. She is the ideal wife to her husband and mother to her three children. Rebecca has a secret, something her friends don’t even know. The last person that she expects to reveal it to a high priced escort named Paris. Rebecca could never have guessed that through Paris, she would discover the answers she’s been searching for. Her journey to raw passion allows her to reclaim her body and her sexuality.

Directed by: Nicole Conn and Elena are, on the surface, diametrically opposed--one, a lesbian writer, the other a mother and wife of a pastor-but when their paths cross, several times over, they feel compelled to connect. What begins as friendship quickly blossoms into something deeper. Peyton tries to extricate herself before her heart wants what it can’t have. Elena can’t imagine not having Peyton in her life. And despite the fact that she has never even considered kissing a woman,

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Lip Service - Series 1 & 2

Starring: Heather Peace, Ruta Gedmintas, Fiona Button, Laura Fraser Written

by: Harriet Braun A ground–breaking TV drama series packed with irreverent humour and sexual passion as a group of twenty–something friends search for happiness in contemporary Glasgow.

university together, and in the subsequent years were all

Starring: Necar Zadegan, Traci Dinwiddie

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little more than a dream.

Series 1: Meet Frankie, Cat and Tess. They were all at

Elena Undone Peyton

reservations, Elena pushes the relationship into a full-blown affair. The two

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swept into relationships: Frankie and Cat with each other and Tess with a woman called Chloe. These relationships ended painfully and Frankie left for America to work as a photographer. Now she’s returned and it’s time to confront her family, herself, and her ex-love Cat. Which path will the course of true love take? Series 2: Cat and Sam arrive back in Glasgow with a colossal bump after a loved–up month in South America. Has Cat made her mind up once and for all about her first love, Frankie?

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CLASSY FINDS

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072 148 0509

“ Wine is what we do – it` s a way of life”

www.ernstgouws.co.za

CLASSY FINDS

AFRICA’S MOST AFFORDABLE QUALITY BASE & MATTRESS SETS

Hendrik Potgieter

Sheryl Parsons Shop 29 Retail Centre Hendrik Potgieter Rd 011 475 3943

BACKDOOR

interesting places to

mmm... By Mad Hatter

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Fitting Room : “Been to a trend y clothing stor e lately? All I ca sure that there n say is to mak is no one else e in the fitting ro to go in with yo om before you de ur girl for a quic cide kie. It is a little walking out of embarrassing the fitting room with post orga realizing the w smic glow and alls are not ce ilin g height!” The Walls Have Ea rs

are all Stairwell: your loved one when you and g in el ? fe at th t’, ate nigh right “You know out on your ‘d go to y up and ad re ak d wearing m e dressed up an nd, seeing her ha in n nd ha r be ca stairwell twee Walking to the d bothered! A an t ho l al e e m som it got r can make for being all sexy, tting into the ca ge d an open e u us yo ho n kward whe leaving the n’t feel too aw do st Ju onkeys! ! m ns tic tio us voyeuris creative posi rio cu of ce en notice an audi stairwell.” your eyes and outdoors and s, er ok lo on r fo ked Bucket list chec gh

e Slap Is Enou

3 Flies, Just On

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While Driving: “It was a beau tiful sunny day and we decide since the aircon d to go for a dr was working. M ive y babe was dr taking in the br iving and I was eathtaking land scape around in the air… the us. Spring was birds and the be es were doing moment ‘I touc it and the next h myself’ played on the radio. N fun than getting ow what’s more your babe all w orked up while I touched mys sh e is driving…so, elf.

DIY Driver

ance a-ching”: us in long dist “Ring–Ring, C ppose most of su I . ck n su n It ca x avenue. ca “Long distance e telephone se th ed tri ve u ha fore ing yo via relationships be meone is direct so le hi w t ec oj know she as a DIY pr ing it while you be described do y Tr u? yo to ything unds boring Now that is an telephone. So into a meeting. k al w to t ou ab is at work and ” g! but borin blief!

Nommer Asse

Funeral: “Taking your lo ved one to a fu neral can be a know she will sombre affair. most probably You cr y while being th it was a close ere, not becaus relative that pa e ssed away, bu else will be cryin t because ever g and she will yo ne feel sorry for th the deceased e close siblings . So as we wer of e tra velling there I tri up. It worked U ed to cheer he nfortunately (o r r rather, I shou was the one do ld say fortunate ing the driving ly) I . … The big downs we did not have ide was that any breath min ts when we ar understand why riv ed . I really don’t people do not rather kiss each cheek” other on the

Kiss Me On My

Cheek

Outside: “We both share a sense of adventure. My girlfriend’s garden has a 45 degree slope to the bottom. One summers’ day we were playing around naked in the pool when we decided to take the lilo on a downhill challenge, naked. There was a lot of slipping and sliding, and the lilo challenge was fun too!” Downhill All The Way.

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