A Not So Merry Christmas

Christmas is meant to be the most wonderful time of the year – but it also isn’t the easiest time for many. What can you do if you’re struggling a little this festive season, and what are the warning signs to look out for in the people around you? We examine the coveted ‘festive depression’ phenomenon and how to ensure mental health is front of mind (pun not intended) year-round.

WRITTEN BY RONELLE RICHARDS

CONTENT WARNING: THIS ARTICLE DISCUSSES SUICIDE AND MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES

Have you ever walked into a room full of people who are laughing, and smiled? You just couldn’t help it – the environment you found yourself in instantly impacted your mood. Similarly, certain times of the year can significantly affect your mental health, and the mental health of those around you. It might be the little boost of feel-good hormone serotonin as daylight savings clocks in, and you can finally escape the dreariness of winter.

But this impact of environment on mood might also be the reason some people feel particularly low during December – known colloquially as ‘festive depression’. Rates of depression and suicide during the festive period are inconsistent – while some indicate high depression rates, other studies in the US and Austria found suicide rates actually fall over Christmas, followed by a sharp spike in the lead-up to the New Year.

Another 2014 study by Griffith University, which focused specifically on the state of Queensland, had similar results. Analysing 10 years of data, the researchers found suicide rates significantly spiked on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, with the researchers concluding that people at heightened risk of depression should be closely monitored.

That said, Christmas can be one of the busiest times of the year for many mental health services, explains Julie Sweet, a Psychotherapist from Seaway

Counselling and Psychotherapy in Bondi Junction.

“That is primarily due to people being isolated or experiencing emotional cut-off and disconnection from families and friends, mental health issues, such as suffering from depression or anxiety in the lead up to Christmas, financial pressure, and generalised stress and overwhelm,” she says.

“One of these factors alone can cause a person to feel vulnerable or at risk, yet coupled with substance abuse, or surviving without secure housing, or having co-morbid mental health issues, a person can only imagine how difficult it could be for individuals who are functioning with less than, especially at Christmas time.”

Dr Lauren Rosewarne, Senior Social Science Lecturer from the University of Melbourne, agrees that Christmas can be a time where expectations don’t always meet reality, resulting in extreme dips in mood and mental health. “Christmas is a marker of time: for many people, the idea of time passing – of another year having slipped through our fingers (potentially with goals unachieved that year) – prompts melancholy,” she says.

Conflict with extended family members, grief associated with losing someone who has passed away during the year, or not having anyone special to spend the Christmas period with can all prompt feelings of distress. “Christmas movies often present an idealised version of the season to audiences and flaunt events that are lavish and crowded and fun,” adds Rosewarne. “The fact that our own Christmas will often fail to measure up can create feelings of disappointment – even envy.”

Sweet agrees: “As Christmas time can be associated with happiness, family, festivities, connection, gifts, food and time spent with others, when some people find themselves without any of the societal expectations that are tied to Christmas, they can be left feeling lonely, disappointed, sad, hurt and even angry.”

Josh Jones, Founder of the Just Be Nice Project, agrees that Christmas and the festive season can be difficult, particularly for those feeling disconnected.

“Christmas time can be a more difficult time for people as it can shine a spotlight on feelings of isolation and economic difficulty, and it brings out-of-the-ordinary expectations on time, effort and cheer that we don’t see through the other 11 months of the year,” he says.

“Over indulgence in food and booze can lead to physical ramifications that have real mental health consequences...for the most vulnerable among us, these demands can make Christmas a very challenging time emotionally, physically and financially.”

“Christmas time can be a more difficult time for people as it can shine a spotlight on feelings of isolation and economic difficulty, and it brings out-of-theordinary expectations on time, effort and cheer that we don’t see through the other 11 months of the year.”

A nationwide issue If someone is talking to you about suicide, or you are feeling overwhelmed, a professional is 100 per cent needed, says Jones. But there are a number of strategies you can employ to help yourself and others struggling with their mental health once the Christmas tree goes up.

How to help yourself

Prepare for the day Understanding what your day will entail can help you feel more in control and less isolated or disappointed. “Christmas Day could be spent by being alone watching a favourite movie, or volunteering, or reading a book by the water,” says Sweet.

Lower your expectations To our detriment, we tend to put a lot of pressure on a single day come Christmas. “Going into the season with modest expectations and allowing the season to unfold organically is much saner than putting excessive amounts of pressure on one day – one meal! – to be the best thing you do all year,” says Rosewarne. Connect Reach out to those around you. “Take some time to connect with those who care about you, and let people make an effort with you if they’d like to. Be honest about where you are at emotionally with people you trust and express that you are having a tough time,” says Jones.

Seek out services Mental health services offer support and resources that include therapeutic interventions such as a community lunch or a mental health day. Take advantage.

Schedule downtime If you need some space to rest and recover, take it – don’t force yourself to attend multiple events. “Don’t overindulge in food and alcohol, and try to move each day – even a 30 minute walk will help,” says Jones.

Be kind to yourself We’re often worrying so much about our families enjoying Christmas we forget about ourselves, warns Jones. “Remember ‘peace on Earth and goodwill to men’ starts with peace and goodwill towards yourself. Don’t over extend yourself financially just because it’s Christmas – people don’t care more about the cost of their presents than your mental health.”

Helping others

Ask the question It might be clichéd, but asking someone ‘how are you doing?' can be incredibly empowering. Keep it simple and refrain from dishing out advice. “More often, people want to be seen, they want to be heard, they want to be believed and they want to be validated, so the best thing anyone can do is listen,” Sweet says.

Put yourself in their shoes Suspend any judgements and focus on showing compassion and empathy for their situation.

Watch for signs Look out for significant changes in the people around you, such as employment, living, relationship

or familial situations. “Look for those changes in circumstance or changes in behaviour, and be mindful of the pressure you place on people to be ‘festive’ or ‘giving’ when they may be going through a tough time themselves,” says Jones.

Make new traditions Christmas tends to be routine and traditional year-on-year, which can be difficult if you’ve lost a family member or spouse in the 12 months before. “Having to go through the ritual in ways that differ from celebrations of previous years can prompt sad comparisons,” says Rosewarne. Starting a new tradition can help create a new memory to focus on for the family. Strengthen your connections Being thoughtful, understanding and caring for each other over Christmas is key. “Place less emphasis on presents and expensive events, and more emphasis on connection, good times and looking after each other during what can be a stressful, isolating and anxious time for many,” says Jones.

Lend a hand Sometimes others need some help. Offering to help with any potentially stressful tasks such as shopping or organising can make a real difference to someone struggling over the festive season. S

If any part of this story has impacted you, please contact Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467