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IT’S TREMBLING, YOU’RE TREMBLING Outstretching your hands as wings. Bringing each muscle to life from toes to hips. Playing with gravity. The moment when you step on, you will know whether you're close enough to yourself. What wins? The wobbling slackline or the uncertainty dwelling inside you? Trying to concentrate on the movement you mean to be the right one, would wrap in fluttering light just to take a step. You fall over and over again, then stand up. A step forward. Then another one. And if you find the balance you will reach the other side.
a man on the moon
HEAPS OF EXPERENCE IN VÉRTES TRAIL MARATHON written by DANIEL KOLTAI
I have never played sport competitively. It has never been a part of my daily routine. I've never followed strict training plans. Never been disciplined, purposeful and consistent when sports were involved. I have taken some exercises since early childhood, at school, local associations, as junior, and - just for my pleasure - tried different activities. I have been running for quite a few years, sometimes more, sometime less. About one or one and a half years ago regular running, exercises, the joy of sport were the umpteenth ones, after a thousand other things. Then something changed. It was not quick, unexpected or sudden. I do not say that it caused earthquake-like joy or happiness. Until 30 March 2014, 2 pm Sunday. The finish of the VTM marathon.
I do not want to look back very far because the main thing I want to talk about is here and now. Of course, it has a history, I had to work on it, it did not come as a gift, but the fresh experience is still filling me in, so living, unexpected, incongruous, that I want to shout to the world. However a brief introduction is necessary so that you may see and understand what I've already managed to. The mild winter and early-arrived spring helped a lot to enjoy running outside more often. In March, after the challenge of BĂźkki Hard, I became more and more motivated, more and more I felt the possibility of development. Gradually I looked for longer and harder workouts replacing the friendly atmosphere of Tuesdays' community running. Because I did not have more time to go out, I wanted to make a better use of what was available. I introduced Balboa Tuesday, which is just a good distance, sufficient level after a day of work, it trains, you have to fight and even you can measure your performance and progress. It was good to withstand a bit longer and run a bit further upwards HĂĄrshegy on each occasion.
Besides physical challenges I find over and over again that running, especially in the woods, for me is certainly about being alone, and spent precious time in nature. Farthest from the built environment and closest to reality, alone with my own boundaries, stamina and weaknesses. Then and there I do not want to adapt to others or to hear anybody. It is the time for recharging and recreation both for the body and the soul. So last Tuesday was Balboa again. Arriving at Fenyﾅ組yﾃｶngye on time, I started running with sufficient but not overwhelming swing. The goal was this time that I should not be walking anywhere. It has long been nagging in my mind, that I should achieve under the two-hour limit, but - as a part of the goal - this time I focused more on the continuous running of ascents. It was fighting, often agonizingly slow, but on Jﾃ｡nos-hegy I felt that I might succeed. I did not dare to look at my phone, I did not want to know how I could manage the time. The return trip also went well, there was no stopping or walking and the only thing in my mind was my destination, the blue roadside water pump at the edge of the parking site. 1:58:02. What a joy! If for nobody else, but it was really for me, another stair I have stepped on. A letter was sent to the Csanyas.
With these antecedents I headed for Szรกr in my car on Sunday morning. An often mentioned, popular race, likable on the basis of the elevation profile and the course, not a killer route, plus an unfamiliar landscape and brilliant weather. All showed that finally, here and now I must run a real marathon. Last week I attempted the nice and cozy Pilis Marathon, I suffered from it a lot, especially at the end, it made me exhausted, but this one was different now. In and out all circumstances were given. Simply I had to go. After the start, reaching the forest I was running a good rhythm in the first third of the field, picking up Adam's pace. I was surprised a little because it was not really killer or cruel . The route was likable without steep climbs, it was an enjoyable run at a good pace. Then I passed the observation tower, and further, meanwhile I realized there are a good few people before me whom I had not seen before. However, by this competition I had been able to position things well in my mind. My only goal was to run with paying attention, managing my stamina and sources well with the least walking. Oh yes, and the bonus to perform under the four-hour limit, but it shouldn't be mentioned even to myself. The first checkpoint came surprisingly slow, I had been expecting it a lot. Not because the food and drink it provided, since my bottle was full of iso as well as there were gels in my bag, but a point is a point. Having reached it I am a bit further, a bit closer to the finish. I've reached one step closer to the goal. After having a bit of banana, some water and a gel I went on, even further, there was so much in front of us.
The forest is beautiful. The field is slowly breaking up, Adam has long since vanished, and I start to enjoy the environment. You can hear the birds, see the verdant undergrowth and sprouts of leaves in the branches, enjoy the warmth of the sun, while twisting on broad, sometimes gently downhill roads. Navigation is sensational, I have nothing to do with it, just to run and enjoy the scenery. Vitรกnyvรกr is the next one, I have never been here yet, a nice surprise as I reach it after a short uphill part, then heading for the valley. Sometimes a group of runners appears, perhaps I may get closer to them, but others pass me meanwhile. No trouble, no worry, I know what I want. Again, I had been longing for the second CP in Vรกrgesztes. Iso had run out from one of my bottles, and I was full of sweet and warm drinks, I wanted to have cold water and the feeling that I managed to overcome another milestone. Invigorating wash under the tap again, a little banana, then, again, I found myself even more alone, climbing perhaps the steepest mountain of the race, not long after the ultra runners had turned right and we continued to the left at end of the village. On the way out I had the second gel, I need it now, before the mountain. I'm over the half of the distance, if I climb this not too hard ascent, no longer a challenge can wait for me. Of course it could, but a different way.
Again I did not want to look at my watch, let it be a surprise, it is better if I rely on my physicality, my body and spirit, they will dictate the pace. The third CP is relatively close, almost no one anywhere, maybe a runner passes and a girl follows me far away, but I'm mostly alone. The way I like it. Banana, water at the point and let's go! I'm still dashing, I shouldn't stop now. Long, monotonous, neverending phase came. I tried to motivate myself by converting the remaining roughly 11 kilometers to my usual rounds on the island. So I have only two more rounds, I can't stop, especially because the lie of the land does not justify a stroll. Long straight sections, different, but identical-looking landscape and the road does not seem to run out. A walking mate appears, I slowly catch him up, then pass him and remember my Pilis experience last week as I was trotting before Piliscsaba on the sandy track without any strength to start running again. This time I withstand, I do not want to stop, not now. Gradually I can hear the clappers and applause from Hallgat贸-v枚lgy, the CP turns up, the last one before the finish. From there it's only five more km to go. Here I must to speak about the work of the organizers, CP crew and volunteers. Those who run certainly know, and those who don't, they have to believe me: how much helpful are the few gestures, sentences and helpfulness that you can get during the race. The encouragement, applause, and offering. Girls, guys, you were great one and all, you are absolutely in my success, thank you very much. Really!
And then the last section. The winding forest road, on the first 100 meters I'm nibbling my banana then I overcome myself and start to jog. As I'm running, making the way at monotonous, gray pace, far from the legendary flow, once a girl, Eva catches me up. I look at her, can see her smile and share her happiness as she's overtaking me. All my compliments to her spurt, strength and stamina, that being a woman she is here, I admire what she achieves, all that she can. She slightly outpaces and sets a tempo and we turn into the jungle which is almost the same as the beginning part of the race, so I stay close behind her. Leaving the bushes, I do not let her get away on the wide forest road. I follow her. In the meantime, two things keep chanting in my head. First, she surely can hear my footsteps, snorting, and feel my presence "under pressure", because I do not leave her run alone. Maybe this is the psychological competitive environment, the spiritual factors. But what is even more overwhelms my thoughts is the praying to God to give me strength. Take me to the finish line, do not let me stop. So hard is every damn step, although I have managed my energy boost well, I'm exhausted by now, I feel the loss of fluid, the heat and the load of almost 40 kilometers behind me. The thoughts are narrowing, I'm just searching for a piece of straw to cling to, anything that can carry me on.
I know that we are about to reach the village soon, Eva is running in front of me, I am close behind her, we are making our way downhill well, and then, finally the first houses show up. Arriving in Szรกr, perhaps on the dirt road, at the beginning of the concrete I catch her up and slowly overtake. I do not know why and how, whether she slowed down or I speeded up, it just happened. Meanwhile, we are reaching another runner, whom we both pass, then just monotonously are jogging on the long asphalt road. How long it is! How to describe the weight of these steps? I do not know, there are no words for it. Slowly, very slowly we reach the end of the street, then down to the main road. In the distance appears another runner, he is no longer can be caught up, but a good reference point to the end. In the meantime, I look back and forth, Eva is a bit lagging, at least there's no this pressure now. Because I would have been a little hurt if I had lost our one-on-one fight. On the main street of the village, reaching the parking cars I try to scrape together the last crumbs of myself. Meanwhile, I'm only pleading that far away, my own rabbit should turn in at last, over there should already show up the downhill street which takes me to the finish line. Finally it also happens, I'm coming and reach there too, 150 meters come down then another 150 to the right, I can hear the music, then the speaker as well, the sports hall turns up, then the home stretch, the volunteer holding the plug for the socket and finally the finish line.
I'm stumbling up to the grassy area in the shadow and collapse. I do not look either at the time or for drink I'm just lying still. Now I just have to survive. About 10 or 12 minutes I spent this way then overcame myself and looked at my phone. Under 4 hours! A breakout shouting of joy, Rocky-like air-boxing and a great euphoria in me. I'm crawling to the watertanks at the entrance and just swigging the fine cold water and pouring over myself. Slowly I look around, I notice my surroundings, a running mate sitting on the ground, being kissed by his wife, his little daughters are hanging on him, there are happy, tired people everywhere. I'm stumbling into the hall and ask for the assistance of the IT section to find out my official results. 4:00:12. Meanwhile Csanya appears behind the desk, I'm thanking him for the race, without saying anything because I'm so touched and overwhelmed with joy, I'm just shaking his hand, repeating myself and congratulating on the great competition. Coming out I meet Eva, I congratulate and thank her for what she did, that she pulled me up to the finish line, without her it surely wouldn't have been the same. And then the point. After some recreation and stretching I'm walking towards the car, while runners are yet to come to the finish. Thinking about the race and the experiences I have just gone through, my throat tightens slowly and tears begin to flow. Tears in my eyes, then I'm crying, shaking and loudly, with fat tear drops. I do not know why, I really do not know.
I'm not a professional athlete and I will never be. I'm not racer, I will not be. Probably I will never be there where the winners are, due to the lack of discipline and consistency listed at the beginning. And I would like if it remained love and joy for a lifetime and not an obligation which imposes mandatory burden on me. But here and now, I have run so much and the way I never did before. Not the distance, not the hardness, but in general. I have run a marathon. A trail marathon. I have overcome myself. Overall I've finished in 16th place out of 90. I have given everything in and even more from my body and spirit. I have worked for it, I have prepared for it and in return a neverexperienced happiness and joy were my reward. The world has turned, I've got through a gate, I've become a man on the Moon. I've got an experience which will accompany until the end of my life, for which I did not have to invest millions, travel far away, give up principles, go against beliefs, step over others. An experience from the noblest ones.
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Today I finished my work, sat in the car, came home, changed my clothes and went out jogging in Kamaraerdő. Just for fun, for my pleasure, because I felt like it. Trail running, it's for a lifetime.
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PEROLZ some fresh air
www.perolz.com AUTUMN 2014