Wrapped in Alpha Gam Love

Wrapped in Alpha Gam Love

By Jean White Steffeck, Alpha Sigma–Indiana University of Pennsylvania

We often think of our friendships fondly when we're celebrating life's triumphs, but what happens when there's a stumbling block? When Jean joined Alpha Gamma Delta, she had no idea how it would carry on throughout her life.

I call Pittsburgh my hometown, now I live in a motorhome traveling the U.S. full-time with my husband, two kids, and dog. We bought our first motorhome at the advent of COVID-19. (I couldn't fathom homeschooling and being housebound in Oregon, where it's rainy most of the year.) It was the best decision! It taught us that we didn't need most of the material items we had. In 2020-21, we went to national parks and monuments, visited friends and family, harvested pecans in Arkansas, rode horses in New Mexico, hunted scorpions in Arizona, swam in the crystal waters of the Gulf of Mexico, and ate warm beignets at Cafe Du Monde. The education my children received on these adventures is invaluable.

Before our decision to motorhome travel full-time, we moved to Portland and lived there for 14 years. When I first moved there, I didn't know anyone, so I searched for a local Alumnae Club. I went to a meeting, joined the Greater Portland Alumnae Club in 2009, and the rest is history! I've served as an executive officer continuously since then, and I'm currently the Editor.

I have a core group of women who have supported me through the good and the bad! When I was first pregnant with my son, the club organized a baby shower. Given that I d idn't have family in Portland, it meant the world to me. The club surprised me again when I was pregnant with my baby girl—my favorite gift was an Alpha Gamma Delta onesie.

Last year, when I was diagnosed with cancer, the group wrapped its arms around me and smothered me with support. They check in with me constantly and send letters and items to make me smile and lift my spirits. The most tangible effort came in the form of a love quilt. The club secretly conspired to make a gorgeous quilt by personalizing messages of love and hope. Mary Sampson Fay, Epsilon Beta –University of Kansas arranged for sisters to personalize white fabric hearts and sent them to Alice Ann Wetzel, Alpha Lambda –The Ohio State University, who incorporated the hearts into a red, buff and green masterpiece. I took that quilt with me to chemo and was able to physically wrap myself in Alpha Gam love!

Though my father passed of brain cancer when I was 10, and my mom is a two-time survivor of breast cancer, my cancer was not hereditary. However, my mother's oncologist advised me to start getting screenings at 35, so I went religiously. My last clean mammogram was in August 2021. In May 2022, I felt a small pea-sized lump in my breast. Within two weeks, I was diagnosed with IDC— invasive intraductal carcinoma. I waited for further testing to find out my cancer came back triple-negative, also known as TNBC. It's one of the more invasive, aggressive, harder-to-treat cancers and tends to have a poorer prognosis. TNBC accounts for 10-15% of all breast cancers, for which the only treatment is chemo/ immunotherapy.

The diagnosis was as awful as you'd imagine. The first person I had to tell was my husband. Then, we had to figure out how to tell our kids. We had just sold our home and had to redirect our plans. It broke my heart to have to tell the kids, but our approach was to be transparent and age-appropriate. I endured six months of chemotherapy while suffering hair loss and sickness, gave myself injections, continued immunotherapy treatment for a full year, even had a tooth extracted, and later, had a double mastectomy. Through subsequent complications and surgeries, I'm learning to love my body as it is.

It took about a year and a half to get to a place where I didn't need to see a doctor regularly. My goal is to raise awareness for this type of cancer and to encourage women to not only get mammograms, but to do self checks. It's a challenge living life knowing that it can come back anytime. Leaning on good friends, surrounding yourself with positive people, and utilizing talk therapy is a great help. My friend, Kelly, took me to every single chemo and all four of my surgeries. I also credit my dog, who was by my side constantly. Getting out of bed to walk her and care for her helped me physically and emotionally. I also bonded with a woman younger than me who was diagnosed at the same time. We talked daily about our experiences, which was helpful as we were going through the same things at the same time. My spirituality and living near the ocean during part of treatment also proved great for anxiety and mental health.

Our bodies are as unique as snowflakes. Just because you read about someone else's experience (and the scary statistics) does not mean it's going to happen to you. I cannot emphasize enough how powerful our minds are and can truly make or break your experience. My wellness journey consists of checkups every six months. I'm not the same physically as I used to be. I frequently have chemo-related health issues, and that's tough to accept. But I’m alive, and traveling with family is food for my soul!

After my diagnosis, we decided to buy a larger motorhome. We couldn't travel much during my treatment, but once I was finished with my final surgery, we took to the road again, just myself, my husband, Rob, our two kids, Jack and Katie, and our dog, Tolly. We've been to 37 states and counting. Our current trip took us through the middle of the U.S., and we will spend our fall and winter in Florida. We will make our way back to Oregon, where we own an RV pad to enjoy the gorgeous summer there, then buy a house and settle back down. I’m proud of how far I’ve come and managed to document our family’s travels, I fully intend to resume my small business of repurposing luxury items, and I’m looking forward to more cancer-free milestones.