Live a more authentic life

BY JENNY GREYERBIEHL, NPC DIRECTOR OF EDUCATION AND PANHELLENIC SUPPORT

Just be yourself. Live more authentically. Be true to yourself.

This advice, or some version of it, is given to us our entire lives with what I am certain is the best of intentions; but if you are like me you have often asked yourself (on the inside, while smiling on the outside of course), “What the heck does that even mean?!? Be myself? Umm… isn’t that what I’m doing right now? Live an authentic life. Umm… am I living something other than that?”

So before I go any further l want to be very clear, I do NOT have this all figured out. What I do know is that I feel like I’m closer to understanding this advice, and what it means to live authentically, each and every day. Of course, some days feel a bit more authentic than others, just like some people feel a bit more authentic than others, and the goal is simply to keep working at it, keep surrounding yourself with the right people, one day at a time.

Merriam-Webster defines the word authentic as “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” So as I have worked to be authentic, I have implemented several things in my own life that I hope will be of value to you as you live your lives.

BE OPEN TO LEARNING ABOUT YOURSELF

Take advantage of all of the opportunities you have to learn about yourself. Take personality and behavioral assessments. Read self-help books. Listen to podcasts that make you curious. Subscribe to blogs. Spend time reflecting on how something makes you feel and ask yourself why you feel that way.

One of my favorite assessments, CliftonStrengths tells you what you are naturally good at and encourages you to develop those things into strengths. I learned by taking this assessment that one of my top five talents is learner. I’m always interested in learning new facts, skills or knowledge and the older I have gotten the more curious I have gotten about myself. I challenge you, if you are not already, to get curious about yourself as well.

TRUST YOUR GUT

There is this innate sense within you that can tell you a lot if you pay attention. When something feels “off,” it usually is. If you meet someone and get an immediate reaction to them, heed it. If you have a nagging feeling about a situation, respond.

We all have reactions to things, sometimes it is emotional, sometimes it is physical and sometimes it is mental. Regardless, listen to yourself and honor it. Allow it to guide your actions and decisions. It is okay if you are the only one with the reaction, you should trust yourself anyway.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO GET REAL

The older I get the more I want to spend time with those individuals who are willing to go deep, fast. When you find those people (and they will likely be few and far between) be willing to jump in head first, sharing with them not just what you should say, but what you feel—the raw, honest stuff. Interactions with these people will be the most important ones you have. These are the people you should cultivate a relationship with, the ones you should become friends with. And once you find them, hold on tight. Check in with them. Love on them. Allow them to do the same to you. On days when you are not quite feeling yourself, pick up the phone and call or text them because they know just what to say—the real stuff. Those are your people.

I read a book titled “The Invitation.” It is written by Oriah Mountain Dreamer and begins with a poem that the first line reads, “It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.” This poem and the entire book go on to say so many things that moved me and really speaks to this concept. Find people willing to share their aches and dreams. Those are your people.

TRY NEW THINGS

Sign yourself up for a half marathon, a cooking class, a volunteer gig.

I know doing something new takes courage because if you are anything like me, new things come with doubt. Doubt in myself, doubt in my ability, doubt in why I even signed myself up to do anything other than lay in my bed, binge-watching Netflix; however, once I get there and get started, I am always glad I tried it.

Some things stick, some things are a one and done, some things you will come back to after a few years of walking away. Either way, you will never know unless you try and sometimes trying something new ends up being something that sticks with you for the rest of your life, making you feel more like yourself.

At the end of the day, in order to live authentically, you have got to do the work. One of my favorite authors, Brené Brown once said, “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” It is my hope that this article helps you do just that.