ETIQUETTE IN KINK

like any other social activity, has its own set of etiquette rules that are designed to help participants feel safe, respected, and comfortable during their interactions. While BDSM practices can vary widely and individuals may have different preferences, there are some general guidelines that can be followed to ensure a positive experience for all parties involved.

BDSM, Consent: Consent is an absolute necessity in BDSM. It's important to establish clear boundaries and respect the limits of your partner, and only engage in activities that everyone involved has agreed to. A high-level way to look at consent is to not touch anything that isn’t yours… another human, toys, etc.

Communication: Clear communication is essential in BDSM, both before and during a scene. Discuss boundaries, limits, and expectations beforehand, and be sure to use safe words to communicate during play if something is uncomfortable or needs to stop. However, communication during a scene should be limited to those that are participating in the scene, bystanders should withhold communication until the scene has concluded.

Respect: Respect is key in BDSM. Treat your partner with respect at all times, even during play. Be mindful of their physical and emotional needs, and avoid making judgments or assumptions about their desires or preferences.

Safety: Safety is paramount in BDSM. Always use safe and consensual practices, such as wearing protective gear, practicing safe sex, and avoiding high-risk activities if you're not experienced or prepared.

Privacy: Privacy is important in BDSM, and discretion should be exercised when discussing personal experiences or disclosing the identities of others. Respect the privacy of your partner and the community at large.

Etiquette in a Dungeon

Community: BDSM is a community, and it's important to respect the rules and customs of that community. Attend events and workshops, network with other kinksters, and be respectful of those who may have different preferences or experiences than your own.

BDSM dungeons are typically places where people who are interested in BDSM can come together to engage in consensual activities. These activities can range from simple roleplaying to more intense forms of BDSM play.

If you are interested in visiting a BDSM dungeon (NOTE: there’s a whole article published in May on this subject), it is important to understand the rules and expectations of the space. Before entering, you should ask about the dungeon's guidelines for behavior and make sure you understand and agree to them. Generally, BDSM dungeons have strict protocols for consent, communication, and respect for boundaries. Always seek explicit verbal consent before touching someone or engaging in any activity with them.

It is also important to respect the privacy of others in the dungeon. Do not take photos or videos without permission, and do not share any information about what you see or hear in the dungeon with anyone else outside of the space.

Being a spectator at a dungeon holds many expectations, and is almost always focused on how to interact with people that are in the middle of playing – most of the time, the answer is DON’T interact in the middle of play and wait until they have completed play and aftercare. However, it is equally important to know when to walk away without interaction. Some play styles aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and that is perfectly okay! Just don’t yuck someone else’s yum, if it isn’t something you want to see –respectfully walk away without comment.

Finally, remember that everyone in the dungeon is there to explore their sexuality and kinks in a safe and consensual way. Be open-minded, respectful, and non-judgmental of others and their desires.

Etiquette at a Munch

A munch is when kinksters come together in a nonplay, non-sexual setting to socialize, discuss BDSMrelated topics, share experiences, and build a community. The term "munch" is derived from "burger munch," which was originally coined in the 1980s in the BDSM community to refer to a casual meeting over food.

BDSM munches are typically held in public spaces such as restaurants, cafes, or community centers, providing a safe and inclusive environment for individuals to meet others who share similar interests. These gatherings are open to people of all genders, orientations, and experience levels, including newcomers who are curious about exploring BDSM. Munches often have specific guidelines or rules to ensure everyone feels comfortable, such as a dress code and a focus on maintaining a respectful and non-threatening atmosphere.

Munches provide an opportunity for individuals to network, make friends, learn from others' experiences, and find potential play partners or mentors. They often include discussions, presentations, or demonstrations on various BDSM topics, such as negotiation, consent, safety, and different types of play. It's important to note that while BDSM munches are social events centered around BDSM, they typically do not involve explicit scenes or sexual activities.

Respect privacy: Discretion is crucial when attending a BDSM munch. Do not share personal information or discussions from the munch without explicit consent. Respect people's boundaries and privacy.

Consent and negotiation: Consent is paramount in the BDSM community. Always obtain explicit consent before engaging in any physical contact or discussion of personal interests. Negotiate boundaries, limits, and expectations with potential partners before engaging in any play.

Dress code: Each munch may have a dress code or theme, so be sure to check the guidelines beforehand. Generally, casual attire is acceptable, but some munches may have specific requirements such as fetish wear or specific dress codes.

Respect others' dynamics: BDSM munches are attended by people with various dynamics and relationship structures. Be respectful of everyone's choices and avoid making assumptions or judgments based on appearances.

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Remember, these guidelines are not exhaustive, and it's always a good idea to familiarize yourself with the specific etiquette and rules of the munch you plan to attend. Additionally, if you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to reach out to the organizers or experienced community members for guidance.

Remember, BDSM is a consensual activity that requires respect, communication, and safety. Following these guidelines will help ensure a positive and fulfilling experience for all involved.

BY SEXYSWINGERCHIC KILEY

Part 2 Part 2

For just a moment, I want to talk about whorephobia in the Swinger lifestyle. Many swingers are also sex workers engaging in camming professions or OnlyFans. Most of them do not consider themselves sex workers because of the Whorephobic connotation of the word. Sex workers are adults who receive money or goods in exchange for consensual sexual services or erotic performances, either regularly or occasionally.

Camming and OnlyFans are considered erotic performances just as stripping, professional domming, and full-service sex work are. I also have seen other swingers engaging in whorephobia within the community for women who prefer gang bangs, hot wives, and even other women who are in full-swap couples. I've seen women shame other women because of the amount of (or lack of) clothes they are wearing to swinger events. If swingers clubs or sex clubs are supposed to be safe spaces for sexpositive individuals, then how can we feel safe if other women are shaming us for our fantasies and what we are wearing?

Sometimes with whorephobia, we don't even realize what we are doing because of our culture, our upbringing, or even our own personal morals. It's important to check ourselves when we feel these thoughts coming on and remember that, like those who engage in sex work, each swinger or couple has their own boundaries when it comes to the swinger lifestyle, and as long as they respect our boundaries and consent the choice is ours and ours alone (with our partner or partners of course) on how we engage with others in a sex-positive space.

It is my belief that sex workers are experts at sexual consent, or at least they should be. The sex work community has so much experience in negotiating boundaries. So, for example, for non-sex workers, I think one of the most important lessons in consent culture is taking back your power. It's ok to negotiate your boundaries with others in a sexual situation.

When a sex worker is in a place of power, it's much easier for them to negotiate their boundaries with others. If a sex worker has less power, then they have less control over the situation, which means less consent. Sex workers know the difference and know that we can choose to have sex that is not just about pleasure–and still get our needs met and meet others' needs No sex worker asks it's an agreement between people to xual, and/or labor exchange. It can be voiced eagerly or matter of factly. Silence is never consent. The exchange may be wanted or unwanted, for money or for free but consent must be given without coercion or pressure.

When I started stripping, I was firm on addressing my boundaries during lap dances. It started off with the tapping method; if I felt uncomfortable, I would tap the person twice to let them know they were breaking a boundary. Then it turned into me telling them "no holes" and giggling sweetly. I have slapped hands away if they inched near my thong, sternly saying, "Stop! You can't do that." I ended dances if they pulled my hair or slapped my ass.

At the beginning of my career as a dancer, I didn't really understand boundaries until I started having them. Once I started using my own boundaries, it felt empowering to dictate the terms of someone else's proximity to my comfort zones. The position to set and assert boundaries with customers as a sex worker is determined by our emotional wellbeing as well as life experiences. Some people also believe it is determined by income.

The club opens its doors to good and bad customers alike, and there isn't a manual on how to disentangle the safe from the dangers. It's understanding your own emotional boundaries and physical boundaries, which will be different for every single sex worker.

Prostitution is one of the oldest professions. Stripping, camming, sugar dating, and online content creation like OnlyFans would not exist if it wasn't for hundreds, maybe even thousands of years of people engaging in full-service work. It's not ok to shame full-service sex workers or any of your fellow sex workers based on their boundaries within the sex workspace. Let us not reduce ourselves to whorephobia… let us rise above whorephobia.

When you engage in whorephobia and hatred towards anyone, it's a result of unresolved fears that need attention. If you hate sex workers or engage in whorephobia, redirect that energy toward resolving your internal conflicts instead of directing violence toward us.

Your whorephobia perpetuates violence against women, which is considered normal in the context of cultural stigma.

Prostitution is stigmatized, and we need to acknowledge that we come in contact with someone who has participated in some way in the sex industry. Acknowledge the presence of people in the sex industry and treat them with dignity and respect. Prostitution exists in an economic, political, and social context where poverty and capitalism create limited resources for many communities. It's important to discontinue your engagement in whorephobia and become an ally to all those within the sex workspace.

BY HOTMILF AN DADDYDILF

What are some red flags to look out for?

1. Not communicating - Communication is one of the most important keys to success in the lifestyle. Clear communication between all parties is essential- not only between partners but between all parties involved in play. If there is a lack of communication, boundaries are at risk of being crossed. Individuals/couples who are honest and willing to have open communication will make sure that everyone is on the same page and comfortable, but those who are not may not check in on these things. If you find yourself/yourselves feeling in the dark and not receiving the responses you need, it may be a sign to cut ties.