Wild Coast Tatler February 2018

WILD COAST

Tatler

Visitor drowns in Morgan Bay R

ough seas and a strong rip current overcame a man from Bloemfontein, Rudi Nel, on Sunday, 21 January. Rudi (39) and his colleagues were on holiday in Kei Mouth, and has come to Morgan Bay to spend the day at the beach. When they noticed Rudi’s boogie-board floating on the surfline, they tried to swim out to Rudi’s aid, but quickly realised that they would likely succumb to the rip current themselves. They ran up to the Morgan Bay Hotel, where they enlisted the help of the owner, Richard Warren-Smith. Richard told the Tatler that he had looked out over the ocean and immediately saw where the man had gone missing — he could see the man floating face down about 20m from the drifting board. Richard went out on a jetski to try to save the man, but, said Richard, “I knew it was unlikely that Rudi was still alive”.

Once the body had been brought to shore, John Vance attempted CPR until paramedics arrived by helicopter, but to no avail. Rudi is survived by his wife, Henrietta. Geoff McGregor, NSRI East London station commander, commended Richard for his efforts.

We know where you live.

CAN YOU SPEAK CRYPTO? IS IT WORTH IT?

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FEBRUARY 2018

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IN LOVE WITH THE HAVEN

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Tom Eaton Grahastown ­— Killing me softly.

Everyone’s talking about it, but is it all it’s cracked up to be?

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The Haven is exactly that!

Amathole dams running low

by Aly Verbaan

W

hile we have had our backs turned as we all watch Cape Town’s water dilemma unfold, we may very well be in the same boat.

Hypothetically, obviously, as they may be no water for any boats to sail on.

Such is the focus on the Western Cape drought, with “Ground Zero” fast approaching, that this province has all but missed what is unfolding on its own doorstep.

Portia Makhanya, provincial head of water and sanitation, told the Wild Coast Tatler that the situation in the Amathole district is “dire”.

“The Amathole District dams are low, very low. These include the Butterworth, Adelaide and Xilinxa dams. Levels are not as bad as what is being experienced in Cape Town, but we are already imposing water restrictions in certain areas, and more will be coming within the next month.”

In the Nelson Mandela Bay metropolitan, the outlook is bleak. The combined dam levels are worrying, and the drying up of the Kouga dam is bad news: communities large and small depend on it.

BOTTOM OF THE BARREL MPL Veliswa Mvenya, the DA Whip for Social Development and Agriculture in the Eastern Cape Provincial Legislature shows a very parched Gcuwa Dam near Butterworth.

Photo: Supplied

The dam supplies irrigation water to the Kouga and Gamtoos valleys as well as drinking water to the Port Elizabeth metropolitan area. The Kouga region, which includes Jeffreys Bay, Humansdorp and the Cape St Francis, was declared a disaster area in May 2017.

Meanwhile, the Amathole district is also a disaster area. The Xilinxa, Dutywa, Bedford, Adelaide and Butterworth dams are critical despite some rain in February nearly a year ago. In August, water shedding began in earnest, with water supply to

Butterworth, Adelaide and Bedford being cut entirely on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and restricted access on Mondays and Thursdays.

The Eastern Cape was one of the later provinces to join South Africa’s widespread water shortage — in 2015, it was not yet among the five provinces declared disaster areas — but it has been catching up fast.

According to the South African Weather Service’s Seasonal Climate Watch, issued late in December, the El Niño-Southern Oscillation would see increased

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likelihood of above-average rainfall in much of the country in January, February and March but — as predicted earlier last year — this was likely to skip much of the Western and Eastern Cape. It is only in March, April and May that the rainfall outlook starts looking a little more positive in some areas of the drought-stricken provinces — and even then, not enough.

Said Makhanya: “Provincially we operate at 14 million litres a day when the dams are full, but now we are putting out only four million litres/day.

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2

FEBRUARY 2018

BITS & PIECES THE WILD COAST

EDITOR Aly Verbaan CONTACT 060 700 0542 aly@thegreatkeitatler.co.za

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The Wild Coast Tatler is a free monthly community newspaper covering the Wild Coast of South Africa. Our print run has increased to 8 000 copies, and our distribution area has widened to incorporate the coastline from East London to Mthatha, and inland from Hogsback to Queenstown. The Wild Coast Tatler is also launching The Traveler, an accomodation guide to the Eastern Cape.

The media’s work is guided at all times by the public interest, understood to describe information of legitimate interest or importance to citizens. As journalists we commit ourselves to the highest standards, to maintain credibility and keep the trust of the public. This means always striving for truth, avoiding unnecessary harm, reflecting a multiplicity of voices in our coverage of events, showing a special concern for children and other vulnerable groups, exhibiting sensitivity to the cultural customs of our readers and the subjects of our reportage, and acting independently. Should you feel that we are not living up to these standards or are compromising these ethics, feel free to contact the press ombudsman and lodge a complaint. We welcome all feedback.

Spot on, David!

REEL EXPERT: Nathan Lentz (Grade 9 pupil at Lilyfontein School) was recently capped with his SA Jnr Protea Bass Angling Colours at Witbank Dam during an International Test against Zimbabwe. Nathan qualified for the team in April last year during the National Tournament, where the top 12 Junior Bass Anglers in SA were selected. Not only did SA win the test, but Nathan and his fishing partner, Nathan Wickham from Mpumalanga, were the top boat in the tournament. Nathan now joins a few other anglers from Wriggleswade Bassmasters who have achieved Protea Colours.

Here he is pictured with SASSAC Secretary Andries Maree (left) and SABAA Junior President Barry Grove.

really enjoyed David MuirI(Home head’s column last month sweet home... or is it re-

ally?) and can completely identify with his take on holiday houses. Instead of going to our usual holiday house in Knysna, this year we “borrowed” a place in Morgan Bay to find it infested with fleas, a faulty stove, gutters full of leaves, and a green pool.

We spent the first two days of our holidays making the house liveable, and then settled in for what turned out to be a great time. I’m just thankful it isn’t my house and that all that DIY isn’t going to be my problem! ­Jacqui Naumann Cape Town

A bear with a very, very sore head Last week my wife asked me why I am sometimes like a bear with a sore head. Well, here are some of the reasons that I act the way I do: • Amathole District Municipality: When I phoned to get my current account balance I was amazed at the amount I needed to pay so I went to check the meter reading outside. I took a photo of the rubble covering the meter as it was evident that the meter had not been read for some time. Be that as it may, I settled the account and will in future read the meter monthly myself and e-mail this to the relevant office.

• Not all is bad though, as in November I contacted the ADM head office complaining about the raw sewage overflowing from the sump near Whispering Waves which then flows into the Cwili river. This was particularly worrying because the holidaymakers like to take their children to this little beach to swim in the sea. I was promised that the ADM would supply an extra “honey sucker” to drain this sump twice daily until they could get the new control panel operational, and this they did. Thank you ADM for the effort.

• SA Post Office Kei Mouth: On the same day I went to the post office to pay the above ADM account. I gave the teller slightly more than I needed to pay and when I queried the change I noticed that she had billed me more than I needed to pay. When I asked her why, she said it was “something to do” with her eyes. This was obviously an after-New Year moment as the service we receive here is always

friendly and efficient.

• Great Kei Municipality, Kei Mouth Office: Then it was off to the GKM office to pay my monthly rates and refuse bill. When I got to the counter the security guard sitting in the corner asked me what I wanted. Not wanting to be rude, I said “Just want to pay my account” to which he responded “ Nobody here to take your money”.

With my hackles starting to rise to great heights, I said that I would not leave until I had paid my account, with which he disappeared into the office where the mayor was having a meeting. Out came Syisa, field staff supervisor, telling the cleaning lady to sort out my problem. (Remember she is employed as a cleaner who services the offices, the Shell Museum, hall and toilets.) She found the receipt book, handed it to me to fill in all the details, then signed the bottom and gave me my receipt, putting the money in a draw.

• Flat Wheel on the Main Road: While we all know that the members of our police station are efficient and on top of their jobs, as it should be, yet a white doublecab Nissan 4x4 stood outside their premises on Main Road pavement for about a month with a flat tyre.

This could not have instilled any confidence in the holidaymakers when they drove in to town.

Thankfully this eyesore was eventually removed.

• Rubble dumped near the airfield: Apparently the Conference Centre at Cape Morgan has been leased to a company that operates near Haga Haga. Their staff came in and started clear-

ing all the long grass and weeds around the pool. I thought this was a sign of good things to come until I drove back to Kei Mouth.

These guys had loaded all the junk onto their trailer towed by a FS registered cruiser and then on their way back to Haga Haga just dumped it all on the sidewalk near the golf club. Why did they not take it to our garden refuse dumpsite?

• Licensing departments in East London and surrounds: Wow, what a day we had when we tried to renew our drivers’ licences last week. First we tried the Braelynn offices of the traffic department and although the staff were keen to assist, the facilities are just not adequate.. Lack of space for people to sit, pokey offices and lack of signage all made it a nightmare to process all the people waiting to be helped. Due to all the queue outside I asked whether Gonubie did licence renewals and when told “Yes” we decided to take a chance and go there rather that possibly waiting for hours before being processed. The Gonubie traffic department was also inundated but we decided to chance it. The problem with lack of signage is that we did not know that my utility bill proving place of residence did not count for my wife, Erica, and we were told to get an affidavit from the police station that she lived with me in my house. We have been married for 54 years, but nevertheless we had to go to the police station, thereby losing our place in the queue. We also had to have our eyes tested, but when we got to that depart-

ment the electricity went off. Totally fed-up, we decided to call it a day. The folk trying to assist you in the various departments are very efficient and willing but their hands are tied due to the lack of personnel and office space.

• Cattle in town: The last four weeks have been a nightmare in terms of cattle in the village. They are destroying gardens lovingly cultivated over years by residents who really care about their flowers and shrubs. These cattle are chomping everything in sight and tramping all the flowerbeds as well. These small herds are now pooping all over peoples’ lawns, making it unbearable for folk to walk out of their front doors.

Surely the municipality can be held to account here? I asked cattle herder Andile about the problem and his response was “I am on leave”.

• Garden refuse: It breaks my heart to see folk allowing their gardeners to dump garden refuse on the sidewalks or in “parkland areas” such as between Church and Duiker Streets. This morning I watched a man taking wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of refuse and dumping it in the parkland area on the corner of Regiment road and Church street. I can’t understand why the people whose refuse it is don’t just pay the minimal fee for it to be taken away.

• Finally: I know some people are going to be angry about what I have written — if you don’t like it so be it, but if the shoe fits wear it.

Bryan Church Kei Mouth

FEBRUARY 2018

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Cash for trash

by Aly Verbaan

fter several meetings with A the Great Kei Municipality (GKM) regarding the mess

that is the Kei Mouth dumpsite, it has become clear that the municipality is unable to allocate any funding towards a solution.

The principal problem is that the baling machine for recycling cannot be housed onsite as the building it is meant to be stored in has been repeatedly vandalised and is unsafe for storage purposes. Repairs and security would be in the region of R20 000.

Realising that a solution would only be found in the community, Anne Gillham of Morgan Bay, who has taken on the task of finding a solution to the waste problem, discussed the possibility of raising funds with both the Kei Mouth and Morgan Bay ratepayers’ associations.

It was agreed that each of the towns would attempt to raise R10 000 in a 50/50 share.

• Anyone who would like to make a donation, however small or large, can deposit it into this bank account: Morgan Bay Ratepayers Association; Acc no.

00109268995; Postbank; branchcode: 460005.

3

NEWS

Horror plane crash kills two aviators WRECKAGE FOUND CLOSE TO AIRSTRIP

A

by Aly Verbaan

fraught-two day search for a missing light plane ended in horror and tragedy with the discovery of its smashed remains just 500 metres from the Morgan Bay airstrip.

The charred bodies of aviator John Waterson and his technical assistant Gerald Murahwi were recovered from a nearby ravine.

The nightmare started at around 15:00 on Wednesday, 24 January when the two-seater, kit-assembled Savannah light plane was reported missing when it failed to land in Gonubie, where Waterson is from.

Waterson (59) was a distinguished pilot with many years’ flying experience who had custom-built close on 100 light planes.

The doomed Savannah was on its maiden flight on the day it crashed and it is believed that mechanical failure while being put through its paces was the cause of the crash.

News of the missing plane spread between local communities and on social media, and people came in their droves to assist in the search.

Santjie White, chief of the Aeronautical Rescue Coordination Centre, said all the statutory organisations were involved in the

SO CLOSE John Waterson and Gerald Murahwi died on 24 January in what is believed to be a test flight gone wrong.

The remain of the plane and the men were finally found in a ravine after a two-day search. Photo by Terry Gillham

search, with additional assistance from Border Aviation.

The burnt bodies of the two men were found in the wreckage on Saturday, 27 January on Brown's Farm near Morgan Bay. It is thought that the plane burst into flames on impact, but an inquest docket has been opened

and the case is currently under investigation.

A local resident who asked not to be named told the Wild Coast Tatler that he had walked down the ravine to the wreckage the day after it was found. “It’s pretty clear that the plane went down nose-first, as if it had simply

plunged to earth, rather than attempted a crash landing, which would surely have damaged more trees and terrain than it did,” he said.

Waterson is survived by his wife, Anne, and their four children, James, Angela, Angus and Tessie.

FEBRUARY 2018

FINANCE

4

Do you speak crypto?

T

he current buzzword in the financial market is definitely “Cryptocurrency”.

The topic seems to pop up everywhere. Mention the word Bitcoin to a willing listener and you will either receive a lecture on how the value of the cryptocurrency will exceed 30 000 USD will exceed this, or you will notice the distraught face of someone that has invested in bitcoin at the “wrong” time and had to see their investment fall by 50 percent in a matter of days or hours. What is this all the hype about?

Need to know: Cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin or Ethereum are in essence just “digital money” that use highly sophisticated computer-based programming and the so-called “Blockchain” to manage the transfer of digital currencies from a willing seller to a buyer (you just need the recipient’s public key to make a transfer).

These transactions are usually anonymous and, importantly, irreversible.

B. Juris LL.B Dip. Financial Management Dip. Labour Law 90A Chamberlain Road Vincent East London 5201 thayn@verso-wealth.co.za

thus the Blockchain.

How do you buy crypto?: Essentially you need to go onto the internet, register with a cryptocurrency vendor (e.g Luno) and transfer your funds into their account. Depending on the amount you have transferred to the vendor you will be able to purchase Bitcoin or part thereof for your currency. It is then possible to exchange your Bitcoin for any other Alternative coins via an exchange (e.g Binance).

Bear in mind at the writing of this article the price of one Bitcoin is USD 11 426.91 (R143 948.50). On 17 last year the price of one coin was 19 140.80 USD at close (or at the then exchange rate R29 3 250).

Can you use cryptocurrency buy goods or services?

Currently there are very few businesses that will allow you to use cryptocurrency to purchase their goods and services.

Those who do are usually webbased businesses. It is, however, predicted that this will change quickly as the brick and mortar businesses catch on to the trend. buy goods or services? Currently there are very few businesses that will allow you to use cryptocurrency to purchase their goods and services. Those who do are usually web-based businesses. It is, however, predicted that this will change quickly as the brick and mortar businesses catch on to the trend.

Beware: How do you buy crypto?There are various Cryptocurrencies or “Coins” in the market. One should look at the intrinsic value that the individual coins offer i.e. what business model or value proposition do they support. If the fundamentals are flawed, how would such an “asset” survive over time?

The Cryptomania craze has also resulted in unscrupulous characters creating intricate Ponzi schemes or “fake” coins; remember “If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is”.

It is thus highly recommend that you purchase your currency from a reputable cryptocurrency vendor. Avoid any multi-level marketing type or Ponzi looking schemes.

Where possible keep your currency in an offline Wallet (an offline wallet is where you do not give your Private key (Your very long yet secret password

to access your currency) to a third party for safekeeping. If the third party is hacked all private keys are obtained and wallets are drained within minutes.

Make sure you have a backup of your public and private keys.

Public key ­— that which you give the public to receive payments. This is like your bank account address. Private key — The key you keep to yourself to access your wallet.

Always look at the transaction fees before making a transfer as these may be very high at certain times (underlying technology changes, blockchain congestion etc). Know your personal financial risk comfort levels and be aware of the incredible volatility of Finally, if in doubt…cut it out!mmended that anyone suiting up for the CryptoRide should start with proper research before forking out any of their hard-earned rands, as well includes getting a sense of the extreme volatility that seems to be synonymous with these “coins”.

Financial Planning and Crypto Assets: Any accredited Financial Planner will tell you that financial advice and accountability go hand-in-hand. For this reason, any financial planner will not advise on any financial instrument a) for which they are not licensed or accredited to ad-

vise upon, or b) that has no track record, and c) for which there is no remedial action available if something goes horribly wrong.

It would be good to remember the maxim “when everybody is responsible, nobody is responsible”.

Buy your currency from a reputable cryptocurrency vendor.

Where possible keep your currency in an offline Wallet (an offline wallet is where you do not give your Private key (Your very long yet secret password to access your currency) to a third party for safekeeping. But, remember that if the third party is hacked all private keys are obtained and wallets are drained within minutes.

Make sure you have a backup of your public and private keys. Public key ­ — that which you give the public to receive payments. This is like your bank account address. Private key — The key you keep to yourself to access your wallet. This is like your password.

Always look at the transaction fees before making a transfer as these may be very high at certain times it out!

Finally, if in doubt, cut

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Blockchain; The blockchain may be seen as a public and shared mass of data that consists of a phenomenally large number of encrypted (“securely protected”) entries that the technology makes possible to create a “tamper proof” source of information. This allows for the exchange of “currency” i.e.

Bitcoin, Ethereum without the need of a third-party like a bank.

This underlying technology facilitating Cryptocurrency transactions “the public ledger” is

by Adv. Thayn Niemand CFP®

FEBRUARY 2018

5

NEWS

Land issue; illegal electricity raise community’s ire SHACK OWNERS THREATEN TO TAKE ACTION

by Aly Verbaan

N

gxara Village community members living in shacks reeled with shock when Great Kei Municipality (GKM) Councillor Ndileka Khatyashe announced last week that at least 20 shacks’ electricity is illegal and will be disconnected after three unknown men connected them without permission from the municipality or Eskom. In December men in a white double-cab bakkie came to the village and asked for IDs for registration of those who wanted electricity.

From the first week of January more than 20 shacks had electricity installed by the men.

Tears of joy turned to be of sadness on January 23 when the shack owners were informed that their new connections were illegal and would be disconnected. The GKM was fully aware that is still searching for the men will be charged with theft and fraud, as was done in iCwili last year.

Says Nomboniso Dywashu, principal of the Ngxara Crèche: I phoned Councillor Khatyashe to organise electricity for the crèche, and duly sent the required documentation to the GKM. The municipality has been aware of the illegal connection for nearly a year, but have nothing to help us.”

On behalf of Municipal Transformation and Institutional Development of Ward 5, Khatyashe

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DISCONNECTED Some 20 shack-dwellers in Ngxara village are upset after men posing as Eskom connected their electricity , only for it to be disconnected.

called a meeting on Monday, 22 January and stated, “The Great Kei Municipality and Eskom do not know anything about this electricity.

We are busy with the structural planning land audit that will be finalised next month, and then we will be able deal with electricity. And, like we did with communal toilets, we will announce when Eskom will come.”

At a mayoral imbizo held at the Morgan Bay Community Hall in October last year, Mayor Loyiso Tshetsha said, “Eskom has a budget for Ngxara electricity but we are still looking for land that people can be moved to.”

Ngxara resident Msindisi Nombaku complained: “The land issue has been talked about for more than 10 years. Last time we were promised to be given the land, which belongs to Kermit Brown, but his price was too

high — the Department of Land Affairs could not afford and still can’t.

“The issue is still under negotiation. If we don’t get Brown’s land peacefully we will forcefully take it. We have to go and bury our people at Kei Mouth while we are surrounded by land which is not used. It’s unfair.

“Also, if the GKM is thinking of giving us the land near the dump site at Kei Mouth after the land audit, as they said, we are not going to take it, especially now that there is this dolerite mine in the pipeline.”

David Glandile added, “Why can the GKM not do for our community as are done at the nearby Cwilli Village. We support, we vote as much as Cwilli does.

They have a new site, electricity, street humps and new RDP houses, but we are always begging and requesting.

6

FEBRUARY 2018

VIEWS

Grahamstown, you’re a dream-killer!

I

want to visit the Eastern Cape again. I really do. Its vistas and seascapes untangle the nerves and soothe the eye, and its people — straight shooters and sly comedians all — know the secrets of unaffected conversation, reeling you in just far enough before they gently send you on your way again.

Unfortunately, I’m not going to visit the Eastern Cape any time soon. That’s because I live in Cape Town and I can’t leave my three buckets of grey water unguarded for too long. (You know what I’m talking about, Eastern Cape. Damn right. Let’s you and me exchange a dusty high five and then go lick the dew off the car’s windshield.) Of course, I could fly in and out for a quickie, but I did that once before I’m still waking up at night, screaming.

I don’t remember if I was coming in to land at Port Elizabeth or East London, because all I was focused on was the chair-back in front of me as I tried not to stare at the ocean tilting and heaving outside the window.

We have wind in Cape Town.

Whatever my plane was flying through wasn’t wind. I suspect it was the diabolical flatulence of a demon that had spent an eterni-

ty eating hate-prunes marinated in simmering rage. We juddered and lurched and dropped and sideslipped, and I clung to my sick bag and hoped that, when we crashed into the sea, my body would be cleanly eaten by a shark and not dragged onto a small island by penguins who would use it as a macabre sleeping bag in which to raise their chicks.

We landed in the end, on the ground, on wheels, on purpose.

But I vowed I would never fly to the Eastern Cape again, and, barring one moment in 2015 where I hit a pothole on the N2 and was airborne for what felt like 10 minutes, I have kept that vow. Which is a pity, because, as I say, there are lovely things to see and do.

For example, there’s Hogsback, a beautiful little hamlet my friends urged me to visit because of rumoured links to JRR Tolkien that have made it a magnet for die-hard Lord of the Rings fans. This information made me want to avoid it at all costs, and perhaps call in an air strike just to make sure, but I warmed to the place as soon as I arrived.

If you haven’t been there, I can confirm that it is exactly like The Lord of the Rings, except without

by Tom Eaton

Tom Eaton is a South African novelist, satirist and screenwriter.

Eaton rose to prominence as a humorous columnist for the Mail&Guardian, while his 2005 spoof novel The De Villiers Code became a national bestseller. Eaton has written for film and television, most notably the 2007 docudrama ‘More Than Just A Game’ and the award-winning SABC2 travel documentary ‘Shoreline’.

He is also the co-founder and head writer of groundbreaking satire website Hayibo.com

hobbits or a magic ring or elves or a quest or poems about elf romances. But it is on a mountain (non-exploding, though), and there are forests, and it takes three months to get there, so I suppose that’s close enough.

And then there’s Grahamstown, in 2004, at the National Arts Festival, and a lecture theatre containing nothing but 15 schoolchildren and their teacher, sitting in a disconsolate row about halfway back, which is where you sit if you don’t want to be seen or if you think the speaker is spitty.

The occasion was the launch of my first book, although I’m not sure “launch” is the right word, unless you’re picturing a rocket made of floppy celery, fuelled with ennui and aimed exactly nowhere.

I spoke to the fifteen teenaged prisoners for a few minutes, and then asked if there were any questions, and there weren’t, and I was about to get the hell out…except there’s always that one child, brought up to be polite and make sure nobody is feeling bad, who can’t bear the awkward silence, and sees the speaker dying alone up there in front, and so heroically raises his or her hand and asks some lame question just to make everyone’s suffering stop, except mine, which was drawn out by another minute, and then the teacher told the children to clap, and it was over.

I know I’m describing it as an

ordeal, and I suppose it was. But it left me with a soft spot for Grahamstown. And that’s because slowly, over the years, I’ve realised that Grahamstown — perhaps even the whole Eastern Cape — was trying to help me.

That day, a place of learning in the middle of a province full of kind people was whispering to me: “Tom,” it murmured, “Don’t do this. Don’t become a writer.

You are young. You are free. You should run, far, far away and become something with an office and medical aid. Because if you stay, this will be your life.

“Look upon the sad little faces of these wretched children, Tom, and understand what it means to be a writer in South Africa. If you choose this life, you will stay in this room forever: pitied by adults, resented by children, endlessly trying to talk to people who don’t know who you are or why you’re smiling at them, who didn’t want to be there in the first place and who aren’t going to buy your book anyway. Flee, Tom, while you still can…”

Yes, Grahamstown tried to warn me, and for that I’ll always be grateful to the beautiful Eastern Cape. Long may you kill the dreams of budding writers.

Photo by Charl Senekal

There’s no problem — we’ll just erect a signpost

W

e live in a province of signs. Literally, road signs. It’s probably true of the entire country, but I am noticing it here in particular. If there is any kind of problem, a sign post will be erected on the side of the road telling you about it. The problem itself, however, remains firmly in place.

Take potholes, for example.

We do not fix potholes here — that would entail retarring the entire road. What we do is put up a sign telling you that the road is full of holes.

Same with stray animals.

Every kilometre or so, you will notice a sign with a cow on it.

Sometimes this cow even sports a cellphone number beneath it. Should you phone it before or after you have collided with it, this being a provincial sport in the Eastern Cape? Has anyone else ever tried phoning this number? When I did no one answered — it’s probably very difficult for a cow to use a phone, not having opposable digits.

by Aly Verbaan

Occasionally the sign also informs you for how long you should expect “stray animals” on the road, for example, 10km.

But do the animals know when their 10km is at an end? And it’s very discriminatory to only put the cow up — the roads are crawling with other, equally good mammals, like goats, pigs, monkeys, horses, donkeys, and the ubiquitous Xhosa hunting dog. And that’s just the animals.

And all of this is liberally interspersed with our beautiful na-

tional flower, the plastic bag.

Often you’ll see a sign telling you that there are no fences. We don’t put up fences — we just tell you that there aren’t any.

Also, often signs will tell you there are no lines on the road.

If this isn’t immediately obvious to drivers simply by applying their eyes to the road, I am really concerned.

The one that worries me most is the red dot signifying a “high collision zone”. What is wrong with the roads that we can actually pinpoint exact locations that accidents occur at? And they’re scarily accurate from what I’ve seen. Just the other week, what I assumed from what was left on the road to be a human woman was steamrollered by an 18-wheeler long-haul close to the Bulura/Brakfontein turnoff.

Right next to the high accident zone sign. Whoever had to clean that up must have needed trauma counselling.

Another disturbing one for tourists, I would imagine, is a

sign warning of “explosions ahead”. Sometimes they take the trouble to clarify that this is part of the roadworks and not a civil war. This is Africa — we need to be clear with this.

Then there are some odd rules about signs: according to Wendy Sparg of the Vet Junction, veterinary practices aren’t allowed to advertise by erecting boards on the side of main roads. However, liquor stores are free to do this, and they do, about every 500m.

And 10km or so later you can see the consequences all over the highway.

To be fair, other provinces sport some oddities of their own. One of my favourites from Cape Town warns drivers to “beware of the Western leopard toad”, accompanied by a picture of a mammoth frog. I wonder what tourists must think: they must be terrified. And on Chapman’s Peak Drive you are first confronted by a notice telling you that the road is protected and maintained by Entilini Oper-

ations, who will charge you R45 each way for said protection and maintenance, followed swiftly by a sign of a falling rock, and then by a notice telling you that Entilini takes no responsibility for any injuries incurred due to “unstable road conditions”.

What a swindle.

Durban has a special place in my heart for a sign I have never seen elsewhere: in the middle of the N3 during rush-hour there are people fixing (yes!) potholes, with a sign saying “Please don’t kill us!” I don’t know what happens in KZN but if anyone fixed potholes here we would probably kiss them and give them money.

And if we are going to signpost all our problems, I suggest we take a leaf out of Phuket’s book. The notorious Bangla Road has pictures everywhere of people crawling across the road with beer bottles in their hands.

This one we can use here in every province on every road. That should solve the problem.

FEBRUARY 2018

7

CHINTSA

Chintsa: Paradise Passion for art burns hot at for campervans The Hearth: Meet Kate

A

nd there we were — trundling along in Henry the Campervan, Port Edward well behind us and Googling frantically for an available campsite in which to spend the night. The cacophony and chaos of Mthatha urged us to keep going and not stop until we were way out of Dodge just as Google kindly suggested Chintsa. Why not? Unplanned routes deliver in equal parts surprises both good and bad along the way, and we are veterans of both so had no expectations about a village we’d never heard of before. Happily, little Chintsa East proved to be the perfect stop for a campervan.

My husband (usually known as Him Outdoors) and I are campers and over the years have tried almost every type of tent, trailer and bakkie camper on the market, as well as a caravan or two.

But the appeal of setting up and taking down tents palls hugely once the kids have left home for greener pastures — it takes time and sorts out marital niggles in a most unpleasant way.

We’ve hit on what is the perfect solution — a campervan.

Henry, as he is known, makes camping a piece of luxurious Black Forest cake. Pull into the site, plug into the power point, open the sliding side door, shake out the fold up chairs and crack a cold one. All this in a couple of minutes. Did I mention the comfortable queen-sized bed and down duvet we sleep on?

But, as we have gathered from our extensive personal use of so many types of camping “homes”, there is a downside.

The downside (and it truly is a lonely, only downside) to Henry is that if we want to explore the adjacent area we have to pack him up, leave some place-holding chairs behind and drive off in his rather cumbersome body.

by Tracy Brooks

by Siphokazi Vuso

T Henry isn’t a nippy traffic or narrow country road kinda guy.

Parking can be awkward at times too.

Here’s the thing about Chintsa East — it is a giant “park and walk” destination. Tethering Henry to the power point and leaving the icemaker to do its thing, we wandered back and forth. Beach, restaurant and neighbourhood meandering were all done on foot. Our first ever New Year’s Eve where we could visit all the village hot spots with no fear of the dreaded breathalyser. Beginning with sundowners on the beach followed by a stop at the Bowling Club and a walk along a road winding its way up the hill to the highest restaurant in town, earning a crisp glass of dry white in reward, then back to Henry to enjoy our friendly camping neighbours. Before too long, the sky erupted with flashes of colour and our ears resonated with the crack of fireworks — 2018 had arrived.

It is every campervan owner’s dream destination — to park up and walk everywhere. Three cheers to Google — Chintsa is the only place we’ve found on our travels where we could reach everywhere on foot, and for three blissful days, Henry enjoyed his seaside vacation as well.

he Hearth of Cintsa Studio Gallery + Project Space is home to a fine art studio gallery and shop, drawing class, and film theatre. Situated in Chintsa East a few minutes away from the beach, The Hearth is a room filled with alluring contemporary artworks by local artists.

At The Hearth, artist Kate Teesdale, who holds a Fine Arts degree, works on her artworks, holds drawing classes and cocurates the exhibition space.

She has started a film society, and every now and then she opens up the space to host to a pop-up live music event.

Kate (36), who has been drawing since she was child, is passionate about bringing art to the Chintsa community: “We all refer to The Hearth as ‘The Studio’ because it is not just a gallery in the conventional sense.

It’s a creative project space and a classroom, a space where one can come to appreciate other people’s artworks and also be part of the creative process.“ Kate’s love of art and her creative mind compelled her to open the studio for other artists to display and sell their work, to teach aspiring artists, and to inspire those who are interested in art.

She offers beginners and advanced drawing classes in the studio gallery throughout the working week.

“The beginner’s classes are for people who have no experience at all but have an interest in drawing or any creativity of any kind, and the advanced classes are for people who have experience in art making or other creative processes and want to challenge themselves to move beyond their skill set.

CREATIVE SPARK Kate Teesdale opened The Hearth in April 2016, where she exhibits and teaches art for all skill levels. Kate worked and travelled all over the country before settling in Chintsa East.

Photo by Siphokazi Vuso

“Drop-in students are welcome in both classes.”

Kate added that the classes are designed to teach not only the mechanical skill of drawing but also how to use drawing as a tool to access one’s own intuitive, creative processes, and to tap into the universal pool of creative energy.

“I believe that we are all creative beings. Drawing is only one tool to access that creativity.

Those who attend my classes are doing tremendously well through encouragement and their dedication. The classes are an opportunity for one to come and relax and be creative, “ she said.”rt studio is important to have in the community.

“I believe art should be accessible and affordable to everyone, not just to a certain

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group. I have been getting huge amounts of support and positive feedback from the community since I opened the studio.

“As soon as art moves in to a community, people respond. It gives them a sense of pride and belonging; they are a part of something alive and happening.

Conscious colour and beauty really do something to a community.”

• For more information on the gallery, the artists, the film evenings and the drawing classes go to the Hearth of Cintsa Studio Gallery + Project Space facebook page (@cintsaart), or contact Kate on 072 111 1804.

• Shop 3 Atalaia Building, 854 Chintsa Drive, Chintsa East.

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8

FEBRUARY 2018

FEATURE

Pay the ferryman — it’s the Kei River, not the Styx

by Sipho Sigege

Singer Chris de Burgh warns in his famous song: “Don’t pay the ferryman, Don’t even fix a price, Don’t pay the ferryman, Until he gets you to the other side”.

W

ell, that may be true for Chris, as he describes souls traversing the River Styx, but here in Kei Mouth, best you pay the ferryman when he asks you for the cash, no matter how far you are from the other side.

Apparently, as the myth goes, if the ferryman accepts your money before you’ve reached the other side, the baton is passed on to you, who will be the ferryman until someone else makes the mistake you did.

The Kei Mouth ferry is an oldfashioned pontoon that began operating in 1990, which transport visitors and commuters and their cars, motorbikes, horses and cattle across the Great Kei River from Kei Mouth to the Centane area. Says Gert Varnardt, manager of the pont: “Before the pont, it was either a dice with death in a rowing boat, or a 154km round trip via Butterworth, just to get a few hundred metres to the other side.”

Mncendisi Mangxalaba, Nkosiyeza Lumkwana, Sizwe Sipukuza and Xolile Tshetha currently operate the pont, and they all love their jobs.

Says Lumkwana: “We all live in Kei Mouth and are in tune when it comes to our customers’ needs — we change car and motorbikes tyres needed, we

AT YOUR SERVICE The Kei pont serves both as a practical means of transport for many and as a tourist attraction.

Photos by Sipho Sigege

Nkosiyeza Lumkwana

Mncendisi Mangxalaba

Sizwe Sipukuza

Xolile Tshetha

help people launch their boats, we help the horses board the ferry.

“We get the opportunity to meet people from overseas — tourists, and even celebrities, like singer Nathi Mankayi, who made the video for his love song Nomvula on the ferry.”

According to cashier of the pont, Sizwe Sipukuza, people seem to like the pont and take photos and cross to the other side — simply for the experience.

Unlike the Malgas pont (dating back to 1914, the Malgas

Pont is the oldest hand-drawn pont of its kind in the country, offering a safe crossing for vehicles over the Breede River in the Western Cape), the Kei pont is mechanical and uses an engine to get to the other side.

Although the ferry is technically open 365 days a year, there are times when it has to be closed for a couple of days, due to floods and extremely high or low tides.

Mncenidisi explains, “When the sea waves are high enough to push the pont, or the water is too low and the engine hits the

sand, we don’t operate — we close the ferry until its safe to operate again”.

All four ferrymen have had first aid training and swimming lessons in case of emergencies on their watch.

On the Transkei side, a tar road is under construction. Gert says “It was a risky business for travellers with small vehicles to drive on the Transkei road, but soon it will be safer — and, because of that, we will have more customers on the pont.”

However, it is rumoured that in the next few years there will

be bridge construction at the pont, which would likely see its sad demise.

There is usually only one pont, but during holidays both are in action. Each can carry two vehicles at a time and the first crossing of the day is usually made at 07:00, when people from the Transkei side make their way to work in Kei Mouth.

The fare is currently R80 per vehicle in either direction and R60 return per motorbike or horse and to go over on foot will relieve you of the hefty sum of R1!

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FEBRUARY 2018

9

COMMUNITY UPLIFTMENT

,

Temie’s soup kitchen a beacon of hope for Chintsa community A PLACE OF ITS OWN WOULD GO A LONG WAY TO HELP

EMERGENCY EDUCATION Tatler staff intern Sipho Sigege scored 92 percent on his Level 3 First Aid course with Dynamic Emergency Medical Services.

Staying alive 101

A

by Sipho Sigege

s a reporter there comes a time when one has been at so many accident scenes, or worse, that it only makes sense to learn some first aid so that one can help in some way instead of just standing by.

Last month, after yet another child was hit by a car near where I live, I decided that time was now.

We have all done some form of first aid, growing up, at school, at work and at everyday incidents, or if you have ever helped ea friend or someone bleeding or hurt. In spite of that, people often fail to save each other or ,administer the correct care, due to a lack of or only a little knowl-edge, but, most commonly, it is -superstitious beliefs that interefere with proper treatment in erural areas.

On my first day at Dynamic Emergency Medical Services’ rFirst Aid course, lecturer and dparamedic Sheldon du Preez reriterated that, “As a first aider you lneed to put beliefs and common fmyths aside and use the knowledge you’ve been taught when helping someone.”

For instance, “If someone is electrocuted, many still believe in beating the victim with wood, and they call that helping, just as when lightening strikes a person, many will not touch him because they believe it strikes twice.

We need to use scientific methods; we no longer live in that world of superstition and old wives’ tales — those are just fairy tales.

All that I thought I knew before had to be left behind as it was in fact useless. For example, sucking out the poison when someone is bitten by a snake is nonsense. When I suggested this old method, the other students laughed that the only time I should help them is when they are dead. It’s true that what I believed is no longer practised in first aid.

Sheldon started the course work with the number one rule of emergency care: Primum non nocere, a Latin phrase meaning “First, do no harm”, otherwise known as the Hippocratic Oath. As a first aider you must also ensure not to harm yourself when helping a patient otherwise you will be of little use to him. This can involve anything from checking the road at an accident to ensure you do not also become a victim; likewise, ascertain the mood of a crowd that may have gathered at the scene so as not to encounter violence yourself.

It is interesting that there is almost nothing you cannot use for first aid, especially for splinting — plastic, books, empty bottles, pieces of wood or anything firm enough to prevent further injury. You won’t always be able to carry the emergency

field equipment — it’s all about improvising.

The time when first aiders are most needed is called the “golden hour”: if a patient gets to hospital within an hour of injury, his chance of survival is quite good, but after that it drops very quickly.

It is a risk living in a community so far from a hospital and that has no qualified first aiders.

Or rather, one now as, thanks to The Wild Coast Tatler, I passed mine with distinction and hope to make a difference.

Every day we rely on overloaded taxis, and accidents happen any time, and often there is more than one person who requires treatment.

Decisions need to be made, and fast; and you need to know how to triage (decide on priority cases on the red, orange and green colour coding).

CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation): not as easy as it looks.

You may find yourself doing this for far longer than your stamina can hold out, and yet you must keep going. Thirty compressions, two breaths (buy the plastic breather at Clicks) over and over until more qualified help arrives. It’s a challenge, even on a dummy!

• To watch a humorous but informative CPR video, go to Ken Jeong’s AHA Hands-Only CPR video at www.youtube.com/ watch?v=n5hP4DIBCEE

FOOD FOR THOUGHT The soup kitchen aims to provide more than food for these little hungry minds and tummies.

Photo by Siphokazi Vuso

by Siphokazi Vuso

F

eeding over 100 hungry children is not for the fainthearted. But that’s exactly what Temie Makefungana (28) does every Saturday and Sunday in a shipping container in Chintsa East.

Temie, who was born and bred in Chintsa East, told the Wild Coast Tatler she could not simply sit and do nothing while poverty and hunger runs so deep in her community.

She started the kitchen in 2014 by cooking on a fire outside the Chintsa village centre, but it has grown due to the generous donations she receives.

Says Temie: “Most children come from poor households where the parents are unemployed or work long hours so that the children are left to fend for themselves.

“The children wander the streets with nothing to eat and some go to sleep with empty stomachs. My initiative with the soup kitchen is to try to alleviate this problem.”

A single mother herself, Temie says she depends on donations in order to feed the children twice a week and every day during school holidays.

“I wouldn’t be able to feed the children without the generous help of businesses in Chintsa and certain individuals who make sure there is food to cook. I am grateful to have such a support system as without these donations I would have no choice but to turn hungry children away.”

Resident Nosipho Menene, who applauded Temie for her wonderful work, said the soup kitchen is a beacon of hope for the community as it provides more than just something to eat for the children: “We are very grateful to have something like this. We face a lot of issues as parents, and having a place where our children can go when we are unable to provide for them lifts the weight off our shoulders.”

But Temie says she is now in the position of needing a more permanent place for the kitchen to operate from.

“We applied for a site with the municipality, but we did not get it. We are struggling with that as we need our own space so we can implement the bigger plans we have in mind.”

For the new year, Temie sees the soup kitchen expanding and working towards solutions to issues that young people face.

“I want to get the children involved in educational activities such as supervised homework and extra classes. Tutoring for those who do not do well in school would be a real boon.

I also envision lessons about teenage pregnancy and substance abuse, as many children drop out of school at a young age due to these things.”

• Anyone who would like to help Temie take the soup kitchen to new heights, either through donations or volunteer work can contact her on 078 491 3262.

The soup kitchen is a registered nonprofit organisation and is BBEEE certified.

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10

FEBRUARY 2018

ENVIRONMENT

Under Milkwood (and the law)T DESTRUCTION IS A CRIMINAL OFFENCE Sideroxylon inerme (aMasethole or white milkwood, Afrikaans: wit-melkhout, Xhosa: Ximafana, Zulu: Umakhwelafingqane) is a Southern African coastal tree, with dense foliage, black berries and small, foetid, greenish flowers. The tree’s generic name means “Iron-wood” in Greek, referring to its very hard timber.

It is one of South Africa’s “Protected Trees” and several specimens are provincial heritage sites. The Sideroxylon inerme trees are scattered through the coastal woodlands and littoral forests of South Africa as far as Zimbabwe. It is one of South Africa’s Protected Trees, which means that it is illegal to damage, move or destroy them.

USE THEM, DON’T ABUSE THEM For years, South Africans have been making use of the milkwood tree. Like sentinels along our coastline, they provide excellent fire breaks. Their fruit and flowers attract birds and can be used as medicines for broken bones, conjunctivitis, fevers and nightmares. Even livestock have been treated with the bark of the tree. Do you know the name of the tree your child is climbing outside? Have you been introduced? A backyard education is every child’s right. What is that tree? Bird? Fish? Sustain our coastline by breaking free of ignorance and helping yourselves to know.

H

ave you ever started out looking for something and then found it was in your own back yard all along?

This was my experience in a quest to find out more about milkwood trees. Theoretically these trees are protected by law, meaning that they cannot be cut, destroyed, pruned or damaged without a licence. In practice, milkwoods are being removed by developers, industries and property owners all over the country. Are South Africans aware of this and do they care? These questions led me to a conversation with Carl Vernon.

This man is a local treasure — although he would probably hate the thought. Vernon was an ornithologist at the East London museum for 27 years. At university, he studied zoology, geography and nature conservation, but his passion was always for birds and the trees that are their habitat.

As a botanist, Vernon will willingly identify the trees in your garden, looking at fruit and leaves and telling you about their properties. But when I ask why a tree is protected and what is its value, he says that is a question that cannot be resolved. Ask those in charge he says. “What is its value to you?”

Vernon explains that he has been employed by firms to carry out environmental impact assessments and has identified trees for this purpose — including species protected by law.

At a certain development in East London, the assessment was carried out and protected species identified. A week later, Vernon went back to the site to find the whole area had been completely cleared. It appears that in certain circumstances, environmentalists are being paid to give the developer a piece of paper which is then ignored, before clearing away swathes of South Africa’s indigenous trees.

“Are there any tree-huggers left?” Vernon asks ironically.

“The last one I knew left for Australia 30 years ago.” Surely not a good sign for South Africa.

by Ingela Richardson Vernon continues with a memory of a forest area he surveyed near Mtatha. An engineer wanted to build a road and said it would be a 10m strip through the forest. So Vernon surveyed a 40m strip, thinking that the road from Langeni to Ugie was going to be on stilts over the forest. But the bulldozers came and removed a couple of thousand trees and the wood was stockpiled and sold. “This,” says Vernon, “was a monument to an engineer’s dreams.

“Don’t take up environmental issues,” he warns, “they will only break your heart.”

After many years of identifying thousands of trees for companies and seeing the processes involved, he says he has never seen one battle for trees won.

Author of The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien created special characters in his books called Ents or Tree Herders who were there to protect trees. He wrote: “I am (obviously) much in love with plants and above all trees, and always have been; and I find human maltreatment of them as hard to bear as some find ill-treatment of animals.”

What is the answer to the lack of care or stewardship of our resources, I naively ask. And again Vernon turns the question back to me. “How can we tell people to value trees? It is too late when tree-huggers and industry are clashing over a treasured site.”

Can children be taught to value their natural environment?

Vernon is very specific. “It is only as a mentor, only by example that you can teach or educate people.”

And Vernon begins by educating me. He is not prepared to identify photographs of trees.

This is too clinical. He wants to walk with me and introduce me to the tree. We drive down from his Bonza Bay home to the beachfront, where people are thronging, braaing, there is loud music and children playing.

“I don’t mind the number of people or the noise they make,” Vernon says humbly as he walks barefoot through groups of people.

He proves this by greeting almost every person we pass as a human being, or patting a child on the head, “it is the bottles they leave behind.”

Vernon and his group of conservationists at Bonza Bay pick up hundreds of bottles. Their website records that since January 2012, they have picked up 68 558 bottles from the Bonza Bay beach front.

Then Vernon introduces me to the black forest milkwood and red coastal milkwood providing the shade for the humans below. In the hot summer, their fruit gleams among the leaves and branches in great bunches.

“This looks very familiar,” I say, feeling a prickling of awareness and shame.

But Vernon is not phased by sentiment or fancy Latin names or whether a tree can provide medicines. If you say “I like that red tree”, that is enough for him.

That is a start.

We can refer to “weeds” and yet these might be the very things that draw green twinspots (rare birds) to his garden.

The monkeys that come to him for bananas are also looking worse for wear, he says. They have bruises, wounds and missing limbs. They were here first.

We built homes in their forests and now we call them pests.

With a wry smile, Vernon says that he is happy to identify the trees in your back garden and you can bet that this means he will give you a personal introduction. This is the beginning of the kind of mentoring education that he espouses.

After our meeting, I go home and follow up my suspicions to check in my own back garden.

There they stand. The red coastal milkwoods. They have given us shade and beauty for so many years. We have watched caterpillars spin webs in their branches and their red fruit fall.

For no reason at all, I am close to tears.

I finally know who you are.

And I know your value to me.

The milkwood tree is integral to the character of South Africa and deserves our protection.

A list of 47 tree species are protected under the National Forests Act of 1998, and the milkwood tree is one of them.

No such trees may be cut without a licence. Cutting or pruning also requires a licence, except if less than 25 percent of the crown is pruned, but not for the topping of such trees, and not for new development, redevelopment or farming.

Exceptions may be made for strategic projects like bulk services and infrastructure (such as major roads, power lines, dams and pipelines), but not for residential development.

The only other exceptions to this rule are: • vested rights such as zoning certificates issued and properties registered at the Surveyor-General before the year 2000, when the National Forests Act was enacted; • primary property rights, such as the right to erect a dwelling for own use on a vacant property (number of units per specified area in semiurban areas may have been determined in local zoning schemes).

These exceptions do not apply automatically, owing to complex land-use and legal issues, and do not do away with the need to apply for a licence, in which case the responsible forestry official may have to investigate these land issues first. No topping or excessive pruning for sea views is allowed.

Destruction of protected trees or natural forest without a licence is a criminal offence that carries a two-year prison sentence and/or a hefty fine — courts have recently handed down fines of between R10 000 and R50 000 for even the destruction of one protected tree.

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FEBRUARY 2018

11

TRAVEL

The Haven: it’s all the name!

I

by Aly Verbaan

so wish I didn’t have to reveal our special find last month, but it is a newspaper’s obligation to tell it as it is, so here it is: The Haven Hotel at the Mbashe River mouth wins our destination of the year (yes, I know it is only February, but such is my belief).

Melting from the heat on our usual travels and travails through the Transkei, we could take no more, and in desperation swung off the N2 toward the sea, hoping for cool relief.

The sign said Elliotdale and we crossed our fingers that there would be somewhere there to stay over. Some of the road was gravel and some was tar — all of it was potholed and milling with Transkei animals. This is par for the course if you are trying to find hidden gems, and as long as you aren’t in a rush you will, some 70km later, arrive at The Haven in a good mood, which will soar even higher when you realise you have discovered a little piece of heaven. It’s pointless complaining about the roads — they’re merely part of the adventure. If they were perfect The Haven would be overrun by loud holidaymakers and their screaming brats. The opposite of a haven. Not that the roads stop the December hoards pulling in, and of course that’s great for business, but our objective was to get away from getting away from it all in Morgan Bay...

For many years The Haven was run by Grant and Nicola Millar, but is now under the management of Glyn and Sue Rayment, who were recruited by the Millars when they had to move closer to town for school and health reasons. Talk about ducks to water! What marvellous people! We hit it off right away.

The Haven is one of those true old Transkei Hotels that we all remember fondly from the 70s and 80s, but which seem largely and sadly to have been replaced by swanky, impersonal (and exorbitant) monstrosities that apparently pass for accommodation. The Haven is not the Ritz, and thank heaven for that.

It is spacious, secluded and at one with nature. The beach is a mere forest amble away and at night you are lulled to sleep by the crashing waves and wake to the warm winter sunshine of the Indian-Ocean littoral. No wonder our ancestors, all of them, killed each other for this land.

Of course, in the past, many were not so lucky, as this coastline is not called the Wild Coast for nothing. Many a ship has met its demise along the rocky shoreline, trapped by mist and tossed around in the wild surf, most (in) famously, the MTS Oceanos.

The vessel had set out from East London on 3 August 1991, despite warnings of being in illrepair, and headed for Durban.

Greek Captain Yiannis Avranas notoriously jumped ship as soon as he realised there was no hope of salvaging it, paying scant re-

OCTOBER

haven (n): refuge, retreat, shelter, sanctuary, place of safety, place of security, port in a storm, harbour, oasis, sanctum. gard to other passengers on board. So much for the captain going down with the ship!

Mavis and Sylvia (in photo below), who have worked at The Haven since the beginning of time, told us about the dramatic events of the night the Oceanos sank.

“It was freezing, windy, the sea was wild. Helicopters came and brought everyone to shore, but he, that captain, he came off first,” says Mavis.

“We spent basically 24 hours making soup and carrying blankets for the passengers as they came ashore — they were really traumatised!” adds Sylvia.

“The people slept everywhere — in the hotel rooms, in tents, on the couches... we just kept on making soup with anything we

Food need not be about the quantity versus the quality: At The Haven we offer both! No one has ever left here hungry! could find!” It’s fair to say that Mavis and Sylvia were the local heroes of the day. What happened to the cowardly captain is anyone’s guess...

The Haven is virtually the same structure as that which has stood since the rustic hotel was built in the 1930s.

The hotel was founded by retired seaman Edward Reid, who

clearly figured he’d found the perfect landing. Historian Clive Dennison writes that the hotel was established to provide white Transkei residents with the opportunity for sea holidays. The hotel was unusual because it was a private establishment in the Dwesa-Cwebe Wildlife Reserve and Marine Sanctuary and protected forest, roughly halfway between Coffee Bay and Mazeppa Bay, intersected by the Mbashe River, which is the second largest river in the Eastern Cape, barring the Umzimvubu River at Port St Johns.

The hotel has a lively history.

In the 1970s, then-owner MD Mitchell introduced a mashie golf course and landing strip on the grounds, both of which are still operational.

TAKE IT FROM THE TOP The Haven is reminiscent of a time gone by, with space, hospitality and cuisine so seldom found in chain hotels and establishments.

Photos by Duane Botha

A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT Equestrienne Marion Kallerhof relaxes by the fire after taking me on an exhilarating horse-ride on the pristine beach.

FRUTO DEL MAR Where to start? Outrageously good kob, perfect prawns.

MEET THE TEAM Standing: Loyiso Mdodana, Vuyo Mtlelwana, Luna Sokudela, Chris Funo, Marion Kallerhof, Glyn Rayment, Sue Rayment; sitting: Mavis Yita, Sylvia Makhala, Kulukazi Sontundu, Pathiswa Bambiso, Boniswa Nkenyu, Ethel Jibilika, Chris Bischoff, Constance Maben; in front: Zeus, the legendary German Sheperd, and Noncedo Gxotha.

The then Republic of Transkei decided to turn the Cwebe-Dwesa coastal forest into what they hoped would be a showcase reserve. Fences were put up, game animals imported, and, controversially, local residents excluded.

Writes Dennison: “Major Bantu Holomisa gained control of the Transkei in a military coup in 1987. His reign became tempestuous after the assassination of Chris Hani, a native of the Eastern Cape, and the Wild Coast area began to see attacks on white holidaymakers.

“At the same time, drought conditions led to an invasion of the reserve, and poaching of wild game became rife.”

A mass protest was held outside the reserve in early 1994.

After getting no response to their plea to use the reserve as emergency grazing, hundreds of locals invaded the reserve, cutting down trees and ravaging the shellfish. Later, a successful land claim on the area led to the Cwebe-Dwesa Land Trust receiving a restoration package of R14 million.

A condition of the award by the new government was that the land be used for conservation purposes. The Land Trust contracted various parties to run the hotel, but indifferent management led to a major decline, until Grant and Nicola Millar responded to a plea from the Land Trust in 2005.

As Glyn explains, for every person who pays to stay at the hotel, R10 must be paid to the community, as it is still their land.

Bear in mind there is no TV or DSTV in the rooms, which is as it should be. The Dwesa-Cwebe Reserve is about peace and tranquillity (which is not to say the odd night won’t get out of hand), but essentially it is a nature-andbook-lovers’ haven.

Last, but definitely first, is the food: Chef Chris Bischoff is a veritable maestro, and I really like his maxim: “Food need not be about quantity versus quality — at The Haven we believe in both.”

The food and hospitality was second to none and after two days we felt we might just have to move in permanently.

Back to the food: you will put on weight, and it will be worth it.

It would be a criminal offence not to tuck in to the kitchen staff’s delectables. You have all the time in the world. In fact, there’s a saying: In the cities you have watches, at the Mbashe we have time.

Use it, it may not come around often.

Glyn and Sue are by far the most hospitable hoteliers I have had the pleasure of meeting. The complexion of The Haven is that of a friendly family and the Rayments are much-loved by the staff, even though they have only been managing them for a few months.

So, now that I’ve given away our secret find, take the road less travelled and head for The Haven.

12

FEBRUARY 2018

DRIVE TIME

A new age of technology and comfort MERCEDES MAYBACH TAKES LUXURY AND FUEL ECONOMY TO THE NEXT LEVEL

by Colin Windell

W

ith more than 6 500 under the skin changes, the new Mercedes Maybach does not look all that different from its predecessor, but the massive levels of inbuilt technology lift the new version to another level entirely.

Launched alongside the latest updates to the SClass, the elongated uber luxury cruiser (rear seats recline to near flat bed status) nevertheless retains a decent set of road manners and is as easy to drive as any C-Class sedan.

The big question being: do you drive it yourself or take full advantage of the relaxing rear space that also doubles very efficiently as an office?

With both the Maybach and S-Class, Mercedes has upped the stakes and moved Intelligent Drive a step closer to full autonomy and its ability to recognise and react to road markings is vastly

improved. We tested this to the full on the N3, allowing the cruise control with autonomous braking to control the speed while the camera sensors provided the inputs for the steering to keep the car safely in centre of the lane.

The Energising comfort control is an optional feature that links various comfort systems in the vehicle together. It systematically uses the functions of the climate control system (including fragrancing) and the seats (heater, ventilation, massage), the wall heating as well as lighting and musical atmospheres, and enables a specific wellness set-up tailored to the mood and need of the customer.

This enhances the physical comfort and performance while driving and during a break. Energizing comfort can be experienced in all seats, dependent on the equipment — with six programmes

on offer being Freshness, Warmth, Vitality, Joy, Comfort and Training.

There are three trainings — muscle relaxation, muscle activation and balance — each with several exercises and the programmes all run for 10 minutes, visualised on the head unit with colour graphics and backed by suitable music.

All models are fitted with a new radiator grille and in conjunction with the new Multibeam LED headlamps the S-Class features three distinctive torches of light as an exclusive design element.

ALL-NEW

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With its legendary heritage, athletic design and class-leading technology, this luxurious family SUV delivers superior driving dynamics on and off the road.

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Class-leading 8-Speed Automatic Transmission State-of-the-Art Aluminium Cylinder Block Turbo Diesel Engine 133kW@3500rpm with 430Nm@2500rpm of Torque Latest Generation Super Select II-4WD System with Low Range* Electronic Off-Road Assistance* Hill-Descent Control (HDC)*

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*4x4 Models only. Price includes VAT. Launch promotion ends 30 September 2017. Terms and Conditions apply. Errors and Omissions excluded. For pricing information and specifications please visit our dealership or our website. Free 4x4 driver training on 4x4 models.

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OPLEIDING

The front bumper with pronounced air intakes and sporty looks is also new.

Engine options are the S 560 4MATIC (fuel consumption combined: 8,5 l/100 km; CO2 emissions combined: 195 g/km) and Mercedes-Maybach S 560 4MATIC (fuel consumption combined: 9,3 l/100 km; CO2 emissions combined: 209 g/km).

The new V-8 offers 345 kW and 700 Nm and the biturbo engine consumes about 10% less fuel than the predecessor. Mercedes-AMG S 63 4MATIC+ (fuel consumption com-

The big question is: do you drive it yourself or take full advantage of the relaxing rear space that also doubles very efficiently as an office? bined: 8,9 l/100 km; CO2 emissions combined: 203 g/km). The AMG 4,0-litre V-8 Biturbo engine with cylinder deactivation replaces the previous 5,5-litre V-8 Biturbo. Despite less displacement, the engine produces 450 kW.

In the Mercedes-Benz S 350 d 4MATIC (fuel consumption combined: 5,5 l/100 km, CO2 emissions combined: 145 g/km) and S 400 d 4MATIC models (fuel consumption combined: 5,6 l/100 km, CO2 emissions combined: 147 g/km), the new in-line six-cylinder diesel engine makes its début.

It comes in two output levels with 210 kW and 600 Nm as well as 250 kW and 700 Nm. Even though it has noticeably more power than its predecessor, the new engine consumes seven percent less fuel.