Leading Hearts May/June 2014 issue by Leading Hearts Magazine

IRENE HANNON

“

is one great storyteller.” —DEBBIE MACOMBER, #1 New York Times bestselling author

Independent single mom Claire Summers is doing her best to make lemonade out of the lemons life has handed her. Workaholic Keith Watson is interested only in the bottom line—until a letter from Claire’s eleven-year-old daughter reaches his desk and changes everything. As the executive assistant to a philanthropic businessman, Keith is used to fielding requests for donations. But the girl isn’t asking for money. She wants help finding the long-lost son of a neighbor. Keith tackles the annoying project in his usual results-oriented style—yet the results are anything but usual. For who could have guessed that a child’s kindhearted request would bring love and hope to so many lives . . . including his own?

IreneHannon.com FB TT AVAILABLE WHEREVER BOOKS ARE SOLD ALSO AVAILABLE IN e BOOK FORMAT

“What Follows After is a marvelous tale illustrating the importance of faith and family. It’s a story that will surely touch your heart and soul.” —John M. Wills, New York Journal of Books

Dan Walsh offers profound insight into the heart of a hurting child, and he reminds us that a time will come to look back on hard times and smile, because we’ll know that what follows after . . . is not what we expected at all.

DanWalshBooks.com

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Dear Reader, Maybe you aren’t old enough to remember the

children’s TV show, Captain Kangaroo. But if you are, you might recall that Bob Keeshan who played the Captain, often read a children’s book called Caps for Sale. This illustrated story told of a cap peddler who walked the streets of town wearing his plaid, gray, blue and red caps piled high on top of his head, one on top of the other. I can relate to this peddler, can’t you? With all the hats I’ve worn in my life; the hats of a mom, wife, caregiver, daughter, author and now publisher, I’ve had to learn how to keep my walk with the Lord steady, so as to keep all of my hats from tumbling off my head.

I am not alone in living a balancing act. In fact, if you were to stop to take inventory of all the hats you have to wear to manage the many roles you fulfill in your life; maybe, like me, you wonder how to keep you head (or hats) on straight. Or perhaps, like the peddler in the story, you’re looking for ways to keep the monkeys from swooping down and stealing your hat collection. That’s why I’m so glad you’ve picked up this issue of Leading Hearts because we are taking a look at the topic of mentoring. If you’ve ever wished that you had a mentor who at least understood the many hats you wear, you’ve chosen the right issue. This issue was written by women who are a lot like you; woman who you can learn from so that you not only wear your multitude of hats with style, but also help others as they try to balance their own colorful hats. And by the way, I think your hats look wonderful. Wear them well. With love, LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD, PUBLISHER

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MARCH/APRIL 2014 Vol. 1, Issue 2

Editorial Staff PUBLISHER...................Linda Evans Shepherd EDITOR....................... Amber Weigand-Buckley ART DIRECTOR.............. Katie Mattiuzzo ADVERTISING................Linda Evans Shepherd, Angelina Locricchio COPY EDITORS................Tom Young and Amber Weigand-Buckley EDITORIAL SECRETARY.... Angelina Locricchio CONTRIBUTING WRITERS.................................................. Shelly Ballestero, Angela Breidenbach, Rebekah Binkley Montgomery, Penny Carlevato, Kathy Collard Miller, Michelle Cox, Saundra DaltonSmith, Sharon Norris Elliott, Dr. Edna Ellison, Pam Farrel, Jo Ann Fore, Marilyn Luce Robertson, Karen Porter, Rhonda Rhea, Jennifer Taylor, Lisa Troyer, Karen H. Whiting, Heather Van Allen and Darlene Zschech

Right to the Heart Board Members

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Linda Evans Shepherd (President), Dianne Butts, Sharon Norris Elliot, Dr. Edna Ellison, Karen Porter, Kathy Collard Miller, Rhonda Rhea, Joy Schneider and Carole Whang Schutter

Information Leading Hearts magazine is published bimonthly by Right to the Heart Ministries 2014. ADVERTISING | Display rates are available at leadinghearts.com. By accepting an advertisement, Leading Hearts does not endorse any advertiser or product. We reserve the right to reject advertisements not consistent with the magazines objectives. MANUSCRIPTS | Writers guidelines are available at leadinghearts.com. Leading Hearts | PO Box 6421, Longmont, CO 80501 phone: (303) 835-8473 | fax: (303)678-0260 email: amber@leadinghearts.com All rights reserved. Copyrighted material reprinted with permission. Cover Photo courtesy of: The Grace Mask.READ KATIE’S story “Rediscovering God’s Hand at www.thegracemask.com. Other Photos courtesy of: CB Music, Curb Records, Integrity Music, iStock, Deanna Sammons Photography, Gotee Records, Kerry Kara Photography /KLS Photos & Imaging,Leafwood, The Grace Mask and Zondervan.

Table of

CONTENTS 06 The Grace Mask

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12 When Leaders Rise

14 Behind the Scenes with Plumb

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20 The Art of

Mentoring: Value 13:Genius

27 Part One:

Mentoring Our Millenials

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09 Faithprints 10 Check Mate 17 Just 18 Summers 18 In the Lead 23 Health Tracks 26 LifeBytes 29 Belly Laughs 33 Prayer Circle 34 Reviews 38 Truth

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The Creative Heart I

n my 17 years of working in the publishing industry, I’ve always felt energized being around creative people. I love seeing the world from different points of view and discovering new ways of doing things. I also love teaching and learning from those that I have had the privilege to teach.

Carlos is passionate about coaching others…he calls it creative coaching. His name is also synonymous with the title of thought leader. During our chat I asked him how he took on that role and what is involved in the coaching process. “About three years ago, I was talking to a buddy of mine about my next record, and he told me, ‘Carlos, you’ve released some really good records, you write some really good songs, but 9 out of 10 people that I talk to about you never talk about your music. They always talk about something that you said or something that you did.’ When he told me that, I took a step back. I started thinking, you know, he’s right. Yes, people see me as a worship leader, musician and pastor, but, at the end of the day, since I’m so out there with my thoughts, most people see me as that, as a thought leader.

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So when I had the prospect to talk to, creative guru, coach, songwriter and worship leader Carlos Whittaker, someone I learn something new from every day via his social media prescence, I jumped at the chance.

We all have something niche and creative to offer, and you know, I think sometimes it’s a little selfish to keep it to ourselves. I think we don’t give ourselves enough credit when it comes to some of the ideas that we’re given. I think a lot of times we have these great ideas, and what do we do? We push them aside because we think, nobody’s going to listen to me, nobody’s going to think that’s a great idea. But 10 out of 10 people who never tryout an idea will successfully accomplish just that—right? If we start believing in ourselves as thought leaders, then people are going to start to move and get inspired by the things we are saying. Plus we’re taking risks and we’re doing things we wouldn’t normally.” When it comes to Carlos, he says that is his special niche is creative coaching. But this takes a whole new level of commitment. “A lot of people start a coaching

project, and really get passionate about coaching people in certain areas of their lives. But to continue a process all the way through is probably the most difficult thing. I’m doing creative coaching—I help people with the creative process. I’ve had pastors, dentists and stay-at-home moms come through my creative coaching. I finally found something for me that I’m really good at—I believe I’m really good at—and I’ve seen results that help people.” In this issue of Leading Hearts I hope you discover more about your sweet spot—how to nurture your creative niche— and use that to mentor others. Peace! AMBER WEIGAND-BUCKLEY, EDITOR LEADING HEARTS MAGAZINE P.S. Read a review of Carlos’ latest book Moment Maker on p. 37.You can find Carlos’ blog at raggamuffinsoul.com.

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Au re lia S trat t o n a n d h e r h u s b an d , J aso n , wer e a wed d in g p h o t o graphy

team for 10 y e a r s . J a s o n t a u g h t Au r elia f r o m t h e st ar t an d t o ld her that her job was to “Go and tell the stor y of the bride.” As their children grew up, the y de c i d e d t o s t o p w e d din g p h o t o g r ap h y t o sp en d Sat u r d ay s wi th thei r fa m ily. A u r e l i a w a s p r e p a r in g t o b e a st ay- at - h o m e m o m when she at te nde d a wo m e n ’s c o n f e r e n ce in 2 0 1 2 wh en sh e h ear d a vo ice from the Lord, “ L ook o u t t h e r e . T h a t ’s m y b r id e an d I wan t yo u t o t ell h er stor y.” Th us be ga n t h e f o r m a t i o n o f Th e Gr ace Mask b lo g . Au r elia sp o ke wi th contributing w r i t e r J e n n i f e r Ta ylo r ab o u t h er u n iq u e m in ist r y. {6.}-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

You h ave a va ri e ty of wome n fe a t u re d on the b l o g . C a n y ou te l l us a l l a b o u t that an d t h e w ome n fe a ture d?

AURELIA: I wanted The Grace Mask blog to be

the stories of how women came to know Christ. So, because I wanted to share the story of the bride of Christ, I went first to 16 women who I knew were serving God. Then, as I shared their stories on our social networks, others stepped forward to share their stories as well. The whole goal in sharing these kinds of stories is to help our readers fix their eyes on Christ. Our visitors come to our site wanting to know the women in the pictures and they leave, hopefully, wanting to know the Savior, if they don’t already. Our site is also a place for believers who know Christ as their groom to connect. Though most of the girls on the site are from the Southwest Missouri area, they are of all ages and stages of life and are denominationally diverse in their faith. However, they all call Jesus their Groom and that’s the clincher that holds everything together—they are the Bride of Christ.

You h ave a l o t of re a l l y good de v o tional p i eces o n the bl og a nd a g re a t soc ial m ed i a pre s e nc e . H ow do y o u mento r th ro u gh s oc i a l me di a , e s p e c ially th e vi si tors who a re not fe atured o n Th e Gra c e M a s k s i te ?

AURELIA: You have to minister to everyone,

whether they find us because they follow us on Twitter or ‘like’ our Facebook page or even message me privately. I so often hear from girls who tell me they are still trying to figure things out. I understand where they are coming from because what I write in my devotionals, I’m also preaching to myself. My devotionals are a product of the conviction I feel the Lord is speaking to me. The heart of my message is this: Is your focus on the Lord? If it is, you will see my words as an encouragement. If not, my words may be either offensive or convicting. I am going to be obedient in continuing to bring this message and I hope my readers will be encouraged not only by what I am writing, but also by what our featured models on our site are sharing. In fact, there’s a whole lot more hits on the stories than there are on the devotionals.

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W h a t d o y o u d o w h e n y o u h ave a g i r l in t e re s t e d in d o in g t h e p h o t o g r ap h y s e s s io n a n d s h a r in g h e r s t o r y? Ho w d o y o u c o a c h h e r t o t e ll h e r s t o ry?

AURELIA: Last year, everyone who sent in their

story had to start typing on a blank page. Staring at a blank page can be a very intimidating place to start. I think God was sovereign because there were still about 33 who were brave enough to face that blinking cursor and write their stories.

But there were a lot of girls who came to me last year who had no idea of how to even begin. So this year, I put together an outline on our website that can be filled out. I believe this form is a lot less intimidating because it’s easier to answer questions than to fill out a blank page. Some of my models are willing to share more once they actually sit down with me. I find that if they can tell me their story, they can tell a girl over coffee next week. It’s just a process of getting our writers to be brave enough to be vulnerable and let their walls down. That’s where ministry happens -- through sharing your own experience. This process of learning to share their story also helps our writers to learn to be better listeners, which isn’t always so easy.

What do you think the importance is in sharing your story with other people?

AURELIA: The thing is that we’re all sharing our stories everyday on social media; constantly telling others what’s happening in our lives. I find that our subjects - continued p. 8 -

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want to share one of two things. They want to share pictures, either of themselves or their families, or they want to share their experiences through words. Some want to do both. So I saw this as an opportunity to offer a classic portrait session to create a beautiful image that our models can be proud of. These images become portraits that we can use on our site along with the stories of our models’ experiences of coming to Christ.

W ha t are yo u r goa l s for T he G ra ce Mask?

AURELIA: The goals and vision for The Grace Mask are huge. A significant part of what I’d like to accomplish is discipleship. Plus, I have a makeup artist and hairstylist who are going to be coming alongside me in this ministry. There’s also another high school student who’s going to help me organize things which is great because I am horrible at organizing. So with these girls who are coming alongside me, I want to sow into them. I want to bless them. I want to see them grow as ministers through our work. Plus, having others join me will keep the pressure on me to keep things up and running. Last August, we purchased a property at a tax sale auction, which is a crazy story. We were driving down the road last April and saw this abandoned church building. One thing led to another and we should take possession of this old church building in August. Then, we’ll start the process of redeeming, restoring and rebuilding it so it can have its purpose back. It’s 100 years old next year and our goal is to transform it and use it for The Grace Mask studio and as a retreat center where girls can come and be discipled. So, as part of a retreat, these girls can come and spend a few days with us to have their photo sessions and to tell their stories. We would like to put in a loft and beds, and make the church a special place for women to come and seek the Lord. That’s a long way off and it’s totally in God’s hands because I don’t know how that’s going to come about but I have the vision and I believe in it. JENNIFER TAYLOR, contributing writer for Leading Hearts, is from Springfield, Missouri. You can read her story, “Run to My Heavenly Father” at www.thegracemask.com READ GEORGIA’S STORY> “Seeing the Truth” at www.thegracemask.com

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-- - - - - Faithprints- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Who’s Holding the Ropes:

New Expectations for Mentors BY REBEKAH BINKLEY MONTGOMERY

When I entered the ministry, I thought I knew it all— until I grew up a little. Then I was desperate for another woman who could show me the ropes so I wouldn’t accidentally hang myself. I needed a mentor.

I still do. But experience has taught me to have new expectations of ministry mentors.

Old Expectation: My mentors and I should have a

lot—gifts, callings, goals, doctrines, experiences, etc.— in common.

1. New Expectation: Mentors can be mismatches. Women tend to be comfortable with other women in which they have a lot in common. But that doesn’t leave much room for challenge or personal growth. And it limits ministry potential. If a certain Carpenter hadn’t reached out to include fishermen, a tax collector and a political extremist in His sphere of influence, where would we all be? We should do the same.

Old Expectation: There are only certain people

that must meet my mentoring needs. I should pursue those people.

2. New Expectation: A good mentor is anyone I

can learn from.

A prominent writer/speaker related how a wannabe followed her around at an event with puppy dog eyes wanting to be mentored. “I’m afraid she was disappointed because I couldn’t spend the time and energy on her that she wanted. Furthermore, it was not a good time for her to be studying my every move,” she said. “I was under a lot of pressure. She didn’t know that after the event I was meeting with a publisher who was planning to sue me. There wasn’t enough of me to satisfy her needs, prepare for the meeting and

still effectively keynote at the event.”

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Actually, what I discovered was that I needed several mentors in different areas.

There are literally millions of Godly-anointed women the world over. Learn what you can from every one of them you meet. But respect their boundaries.

Old Expectation: Mentors pick their protégés. 3. New Expectation: Protégés pick their mentors.

Women often ask me how I became involved with certain leaders and their ministries. I chose them. Believe me: I prayerfully and carefully study each leader I commit to serving with. I look at their style of leadership. I study their handling of finances, personnel, mission, operating practices and reputation before I volunteer to help. I suggest you do the same if you are seeking a ministry mentor. Inspect their “fruit.” Ask questions. If the ministry and potential mentor fits in with your best spiritual gifts and you have something to contribute to them as well, consider a volunteer commitment without expectation of payment. Come to learn and serve.

Old Expectation : You’re either a mentor or a

“mentee”.

4. New Expectation : Everyone needs mentors. Be quick to learn. Women can be very judgmental of one another, slicing and dicing another female down to size. Learn from the woman whose ministry God is blessing rather than harbor jealousies or speak against it. And be quick to loan your shoulder for others to lean on. You’ll learn a lot. You give as much as you get when you are a mentor to others. REBEKAH BINKLEY MONTGOMERY is author of “Faithprints.”Excerpted with permission. Find her online at www.rebekahmontgomery.com

BY PAM FARREL

ne of my biggest joys has been mentoring over a hundred women to become leaders: authors, speakers, Directors of Women’s Ministries, pastor’s wives and other church or parachurch servants. Equipping, discipling, training and mentoring—it takes time, but it is clear we are all commanded to do it: “And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others” (2 Timothy 2:2, NIV). So how can you be a successful mentor, yet not have it negatively impact your own marriage and family? I believe, if done wisely, your mentee and your marriage can both be influenced positively. To leave an imprint on the future and current leaders of this world, yet maintain a vibrant marriage and family, give your life a H.U.G.

HAVE A PLAN: Clearly know who you want to

influence and what you want to influence them for – and how long the mentoring process will last. Titus 2:3-5 is a great example of having specific goals in mentoring: “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

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Give Your Life a H.U.G.

The plan doesn’t have to be exact but it should have some parameters. For example, you can decide to mentor a certain age group, or life stage: teen girls, young moms, newlyweds, women with pre-believing husbands, women in life transition, etc. If you can become a specialist in the area of mentoring, then impacting life after life will become easier, more natural, as you become a kind of “expert“ in that field. Have discussions with your mentee so you know how long you will meet, how often you will meet, and how long each meeting will be. Your goal with these discussions will be to discern a plan with specific goals. In 10 Best Decisions a Leader Can Make, my husband, Bill Farrel reminds, “Every healthy relationship is defined.” A simple process of releasing I explain in my book Woman of Influence is: I do, you watch; We do together; You do, I watch. A healthy mentoring relationship becomes an iron sharpening iron friendship eventually. An unhealthy mentoring relationship is one where the mentee cannot make a decision without the mentor and is dependent on the mentor emotionally, spiritually or for finances or other life essentials. Your goal is to launch a leader so have the release plan built into your mentoring relationship from the beginning. Discuss any mentoring plan with your spouse and get a green light before embarking into the mentoring relationship. This shows respect, honor and preference for your mate. If your children are the same age as those you mentor, be sure to have a clarifying conversation with your son or daughter, too.

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USE BOUNDARIES: Be very clear how much

access to you the mentee will have. How often will you take phone calls or texts, answer emails or social media messages? How will you handle emergencies, drop in visits or office hour access? Be clear with your mentee what is and is not acceptable. In Woman of Influence: 10 Traits of Those Who Want to Make a Difference, I remind that Jesus was “with” his disciples. They shared meals, they traveled, they did ministry—all together. It is healthy for those you mentor to watch how you relate to your spouse, your children, your coworkers, your friends and neighbors—we are the family of God. However, be sure to keep your first vows a priority. In 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, I help women work through how to prioritize the people in their world. Your mate gained more access to your life and time when you said, “I do.” Your children ranked higher on the priority ladder when you gave birth to them; your parents and siblings garner a greater place in your calendar and your heart because God placed marriage and family as a priority. In Genesis, when God created marriage, then family as the first institutions—

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- - - - - Check Mate- - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------before He created the church, God modeled how to prioritize our relationships. GO CHANGE WORLD: Bill and I have enjoyed seeing many budding leaders blossom as we have nurtured their gifts, trained them with real life experiences, and equipped them with a growing, dynamic, strong relationship with God. The stronger a mentee’s relationship with the Lord, the deeper her roots will be once she is out in her own God given ministry. She will be able to withstand the storms of life and the sometimes turbulent winds of ministry if your priority is to help her connect deeply with the God who called her. There is nothing that quite matches when your mentee becomes your friend, and then, often, your leader and encourager too! Third John 1:4 exclaims that truth, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (NIV). PAM FARREL is a relationship specialist, international speaker, the author of over 38 books including Woman of Influence; Becoming a Brave New Woman; 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, Devotions for Women on the Go and bestselling Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. She is co-founder of www. Love-Wise.com

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BY JO ANN FORE

“Y ou keep calling me a leader but I’ve never considered myself a leader,” Sarah said. “I’ve often wondered who would follow me, what I have to offer.”

Dark-haired, thirty-something mama-of-three, Sarah had joined a team of women I gathered for support on a project—a group of 100 women I enlisted to share the message of a recent book release. But in planning our connection I hadn’t anticipated how often I would be unavailable and how a group of talented creatives deserve hands-on direction, accountability and inspiration. In my absence, Sarah demonstrated leadership potential, prodding and encouraging the group while keeping us on task, but she often second-guessed her competence. {12.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

times experience leader-doubt.

Maybe you’ve felt it too? Maybe you are hesitant to lead, feeling a little insecure, inadequate, or ill-equipped?

I recently asked the question in the safety of a private Facebook group, “What does a leader look like?” One of the women typed back immediately, these reasons why she wasn’t leading. “A leader looks confident . . . not afraid to be in the spotlight, capable and able. And I am terrified of being in the spotlight—fear wins in me all the time.” Her words pierced me.

Is leadership really this illusive, exceptional skill set, one where we are always expected to project a confidence we don’t feel? Indeed, there are wonderful traits we glean from impactful leaders but I imagine there are also times we can be so unaware of God’s deep-seated love for us that the opinion of others shakes our purpose. We spend too much time thinking we have to feel perfect, look perfect, be perfect, when sometimes all we have to do is be.

I’ve heard it said how the real test of leadership is when those who follow walk away bettered by our influence, by a caring touch. Seems a girl’s willingness to walk with someone through the hard places, to encourage in what feels impossible, to support when there is no other, this inclination changes lives. Maybe we’re making it harder than it has to be, this concept of true leadership. Maybe it’s as simple as fielding these few questions, both in private and with a trusted friend.

1. Are relationships important to you?

Are you a social creature, wired to connect? Or if you are introverted, do you crave this deeper engagement with others? At the very least, are you willing to reach out, to ask sincere questions, and listen well to the answers?

2. Are you willing to be authentic?

3. Do you long to make a difference?

A pure, honest passion for a particular cause can motivate you to speak up when otherwise you wouldn’t. Has your desire to accomplish a certain goal, or cast a vision, helped you to somehow rally others?

4. Are you an encourager?

Don’t discount those doses of encouragement you serve to friends who are hurting, or all those times you celebrate a friend’s success. Perhaps you’ve organized the family reunion, a relative’s wedding, or handled the estate of a loved one. Do others turn to you for help?

5. Have you noticed people are sometimes changed after spending time with you?

Whether you were the encourager at the Bible Study last week, or the mom who brought refreshments for the soccer team, does your positive mindset often win over the false happy-face you are tempted to wear? Are you willing to dig in, go deeper, even when the messiness of life threatens?

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I’m learning this, how a foundation of effective leadership is sometimes more about the willingness rather than a readiness.

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Rare is the woman who doesn’t some-

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It’s a delicate balance, indeed. But historically I’ve seen the proof, how God uses those willing to be used. Consider Moses, Gideon; they showed up, and God did His thing through them. It’s okay to be afraid, insecure. Moses was, and Gideon too. But here’s a perspective that will set you free if it becomes your own: You don’t have what it takes to lead, neither do I, but thankfully we know the One who does.

If you are at least willing, you hold the supernatural ability to effectively persuade others toward positive life change. And that’s a leader I {and countless others} would follow. JO ANN FORE is simply wild about words, God’s grace, and her grandchildren. Passionate about women living full, free lives, she is the author of When A Women Finds Her Voice: Overcoming Life’s Hurts & Using Your Story to Make a Difference. Connect with her online at www.JoAnnFore.com.

A sincere and transparent heart is powerful. Long before authenticity became the ‘new black,’ my friend Karen Trigg modeled a realness that drew me in like a moth to light. Are you willing to let your guard down, to give up your need to be perfect so others can do the same?

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The first thing you realize when you meet Tiffany Arbuckle Lee (better-

known by her stage name Plumb) is that she the real deal. She may have sold more than 500,000 albums and over two million singles in Christian and mainstream markets worldwide, but her commitment is not to sell another single. She wants to make music that is honest… music that digs deep… music that touches people where they are at and brings them one step closer to healing. It’s no wonder that “I Don’t Deser ve You” from her 2013 album release Need You Now has still been burning charts for more than 50 consecutive weeks. Editor Amber Weigand-Buckley caught up with Plumb on the tour bus during W interJam 2014 to chat about the many hats she wears as wife, mom and musician and life in the spotlight.

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You’ve b een t ouri ng a l ot thi s y e a r. Tell m e a b i t a bout tha t s c he dul e , h o w that h as aff ecte d y ou a nd y our fa m ily.

PLUMB: When I first came out, I did moderate to

heavy touring, and then I had my son. The expectation just kind of changed to getting my three babies out of diapers before I could really commit to much more than wife and mom. I stayed really involved in music, songwriting, studio stuff, but not touring. With this tour, I’ve brought my whole family out a few times or I’ve brought just one of them. It’s really been fun for them to have quality time with Dad or Mom or for all of them to look forward to coming out.

anything, I feel a tremendous amount of respect, even on WinterJam. There’s 10 artists, and I’m the only solo female artist on the tour, I feel respect from everyone. You just have to be true to who you are. I’m comfortable in my skin. My whole life I have felt like I’ve had God’s hand on me, for some reason, that He’s wanted to use me. And I feel very unworthy a lot of the times, but God has called me to this, and He has told me that I’m enough, and I have something to say—that He wants to say through me. He is the creator of the universe, and so the creator of the universe says, “You’re enough, and I have a message I want to send, and I want to use you.” That’s the greatest honor and privilege on the planet. So I don’t think it matters if you’re a boy or a girl, it matters that you’re faithful.

I would say one of the biggest challenges has definitely been faithfulness, in general, just being a faithful steward of my time, money and body. You get into this routine that is the touring side of it, but you have to have a realistic side of your schedule that doesn’t stay with you just on the weekend but carries over into Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday as well, or it’s literally like living two different lives. So you’ve got to cut out time to exercise and just be alone with Jesus, whether you’re on the road or off the road. So it’s just being really intentional.

H ow i m p o r tant ha s i t be e n to hav e that su p p o r t s y s te m of y our hus b a n d and m o t h er?

PLUMB: You can’t successfully do anything

worthwhile by yourself. We’re not created to do that. We’re created for community, and we’re not created to accomplish anything, much less things that are really important, all by ourselves. So, they’re invaluable. My husband is part of my management team, and so he is out every few weekends anyway, and some of that time he brings the kids. Sometimes they stay with grandma. I could not have accomplished this without an incredibly supportive husband and a great family, and wonderful friends who are a chosen family. You need that support system in place that help raise your family and help grow your marriage and help balance life for you, with you when you can’t do the norm.

A s a f em ale a rti s t a nd a l e a de r i n a male-d riven indus try, i s i t c ha l l e n g in g to y o u ever, j us t k e e pi ng i t toge t h e r ?

PLUMB: I don’t feel the least bit intimidated. If

Yo u a lw a y s h a d lo t o f g u t s in yo u r m u s ic . W h e re d o e s t h a t c o m e f ro m ?

PLUMB: I don’t know what else to write about. I’ve never been really good with the mundane. It’s important to have songs like, let’s just jump and party and, you know—some of the most trendy, top-selling, wellknown songs that are very ambiguous in nature, but I’m completely unfulfilled writing those kinds of songs. I feel like my part to play is in talking about the stuff that’s hidden in the closet or swept under the rug, or - continued p. 16 -

- continued from p. 15 -

pretending to be in secret. I don’t know why, but I am just drawn to that. My very best friend said she could see my definition of hope being “The way you live your life, that you define hope by believing that God is who He says He is.” So there’s a tremendous amount of confidence in what I do or say, because I believe that God is faithful. I believe He never leaves, He always forgives, He doesn’t need us but wants us, He gives choice, He doesn’t force. I believe that God is protective. I believe that God is providing, and that He loves so deeply.

I believe so strongly in who He is that there’s always hope, and so I’m drawn to really dark elephant-inthe-room, if you will, topics that nobody wants to talk about. I feel like everything hard loses its power when it’s brought into the light. If someone is struggling with their past abuse, or with an addiction, the list is endless…songs are one of many tools to create conversation. When you have conversation, you’re exposing something to light. Even if it’s just you verbalizing it out loud, “I struggle with—“ and then fill in the blank. It may just be God himself that you’ve said it to—but that alone or sometimes just hearing yourself say, “I’m really selfish.” That’s just one step closer to healing.

You’ve always be e n a bi g be l i e v e r in c oun seli n g eve n whe n the re a re n o prob lem s. Th a t’s proba bl y the be s t

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p ie c e o f a d v ic e I’ v e e v e r h e a rd .

PLUMB: It’s the crazy people that don’t go to

counseling. That’s my belief. People are so afraid to go to counseling because people will think something’s wrong with them. But the truth is, I feel like someone criticizing someone for going to counseling, whether you’re in the thick of a bad thing and you need the counseling more than ever, or you’re just being preventative, it’s almost like criticizing someone for taking vitamins, exercising and going to the chiropractor. Mental health is often put off to the side. Counseling is one of the most important things you can do for yourself, marriage, parenting and your life. When we went through a really dark time in our marriage, going to counseling had become part of our routine—and I’ve had people say, “Well, if you had been going to counseling, then why did you go through a marital crisis?” But just because you go see a marriage counselor ever so often to stay accountable, like we were doing, doesn’t mean she knows everything. In our situation there were some things being hidden from her. We learned that not being brutally honest and open during counseling is like cheating on a test. You’re really only cheating yourself. You can go into counseling and say, “Yeah, how’s it going?” “Things are going fine. That was a great session. Pat on our back for going to counseling.” Or, you can be honest and say, “You know what? Everything isn’t OK.” Once everyone was truly honest and open, our counselor was a miracle maker.

Te ll m e a b o u t t h e b o o k y o u r w o r ki n g on.

PLUMB: Right now, it just has a working title of… There’s Always Hope Even When You’ve Messed Up Royally. It’s just story after story of the school-of-hardknocks lessons I’ve learned. It’s hopefully the first of many books I can use to connect fans with more about who I am. Not so much a memoir or a biography, but here’s a little bit about me and some stuff I’ve learned. I’ve gone through a lot of things in my marriage, parenting, and career. Every time I’ve been interviewed, someone will say, “You know, you should write a book about that.” Or, “That’s really funny. You should put that in a book one day.” And finally, I decided, you know what? One day is now. Let’s just do it. To find out more about Plumb visit plumbmusic.net.

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- - - - - Just 18 Summers- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------®

Mentoring with Furniture Polish BY MICHELLE COX

itus 2:3-5 talks about older women teaching the younger women. I’ve (ahem) reached that older woman stage of life and I’ve discovered something: God’s given us a lifetime of experience, and He doesn’t want it to go to waste.

After church I gave Stacy a hug and then said, “I want to make you an offer. Pick a day and I’ll come help you clean your house.” “That would be so wonderful! I can’t remember the last time it was all clean at once.” A few days later, I went to spend the day with her. She’d dropped the children off with a friend so we could clean without their “help.” Stacy and I worked together, moving from room to

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I was reminded of that by an experience I had with a young mom. Stacy had three small children. I’d noticed at church that she looked tired, but on that Sunday, I could tell she was exhausted. I’d been there and had never forgotten those days when my sons were little and I felt like I could never get everything done.

® room, leaving a swath of clean, clutter-free rooms behind us. We laughed together and talked about God and she asked me questions about parenting. That afternoon when I left, she had a clean house, a refreshed spirit, and answers for parenting issues that she’d not known how to handle. I left with the joy of knowing I’d given a mom the help I didn’t have when my children were little. It was such a small thing on my part—just a few hours of my time—but to a young mom who needed encouragement, it was huge. Do you know an overwhelmed mom? Become here ncourager and mentor her—even if it’s done with a can of furniture polish. MICHELLE COX is an author and speaker and the creator of the Just 18 Summers® brand of parenting resources and products. The Just 18 Summers novel is available NOW! To visit her parenting blog or to learn more about Michelle and the book, go to www.just18summers.com and www.Facebook.com/just18summers.

In the Lead- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --------------------------------------

Yes You Can! God nudges you to mentor a young friend. You can see

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BY EDNA ELLISON

she needs someone as a discipleship role model or that she is entering a field that you have experience with, but you are too busy to do it. Surely God can understand your job, your husband, your children, your mother. . . A popular reason for not mentoring is that women today are too busy. We think mentoring is too hard—or we have nothing to offer. Why should we tell a younger woman what to do with her life? Truth is everyone should have a mentor and be a mentor. If you never had a Christian mentor/coach, look for someone to mentor you. Then look around and find someone who you can help. Mentor her. There are five roles to determine what best suits your mentoring lifestyle. Choose from one of these Fabulous 5:

Encourager

Do you find yourself affirming people, giving smiles, hugs or pats on the back? You are an encourager. You might send your mentee a note or email to encourage her in her day. Friend her on FaceBook. Sincerely compliment her on a job she did. Send her funny cartoons or YouTube videos. Could you do one of these? Are there other special ways you know to bless people simply by spreading joy?

Servant

Are you the one to sign up first when it comes to volunteering for an event or helping a friend in need? As you model a servant’s heart, your mentee will be inspired to serve too. Volunteer together at a soup kitchen. Help some of your neighbors in need. Organize a local lunch bag distribution Could you do one of these above? Is there another way could you serve as a servant friend?

Teacher

What do you know that might be a benefit to her? Does she struggle with getting the kids to tidy up their rooms or does she need tips for skin care or applying makeup? Maybe she wants to learn to take photographs or wants to set up a web page. Set up a regular time to meet for your tutoring sessions. Make a shared board to post and exchange ideas on Pinterest.

Counselor

Do people feel safe to confide in you? Can you offer a listening ear and wisdom to some problems a friend might be dealing with—conflict management, avoiding stress, marriage and family or coping skills. Quietly offer her a shoulder to cry on. Suggest helpful books and resources for her. Go with her to a support group and talk about the experience on the car ride home.

Guide

Do you like to help people connect with people, things or ideas that can improve a certain aspect of their lives? Take her with you to Christian conferences, church services or professional development opportunities. Invite her into your home or work place so she can see you model life as a Christian woman. Your friendship will evolve as you invite her to accompany you into new life-growing experiences. Take time to think about the people in your life that might have served some of these roles for you. Write a note today and thank your past mentors whether they be members of your family or friends. If you still think you can’t mentor anyone, I’d encourage you to reevaluate what you may have to offer someone else. Use your knowledge and life experiences to pass along skills that can help others. Remember, God won’t lead you to do anything He doesn’t equip you to do.

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Be A Fabulous 5 Mentor

HERE IS A DISCUSSION STARTER FOR YOUR SMALL GROUP:

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Ask each person in the group to share which Fabulous 5 mentoring trait most closely resembles her gifts:

ENCOURAGER: Think of a person who’s always

there to make your day brighter no matter how hard of a situation you have faced. What are some creative ways you can be that person to someone else? Fill out a calendar to purposely focus on making encouraging moments priority in your work week.

SERVANT: In the 18th century the major domo (chief

servant) led all the other servants in the mansion. She gathered all the other servants to instruct them on serving her employer/family. Write down some ways you could model servanthood to your mentee.

TEACHER: Harvey Penick, wrote The Little Red Book,

which taught many famous golfers to play as experts. He was not a champion player, but he taught most of the champions to play well. Do you have something you are an expert at? What is it? Do you have the patience to instruct others with enthusiasm?

COUNSELOR: Can you “be there” for a sad,

depressed or frantic friend and at the same time maintain healthy boundaries. Really be honest with yourself—can you be trusted to not talk about someone’s personal issues? Think of a person who might be in need of someone to talk to.

GUIDE: What are some ways you can guide others

from where you have been—personally, professionally and spiritually? Note the things that you feel strongest in and are passionate about.

Ask others to share which mentoring trait fit their personality best from the Fabulous Five listed above. Close with praying for each person who needs a mentor. Also pray for each mentor and her potential mentee(s).

For more about mentoring/coaching, read Woman to Woman by Edna Ellison, available from newhopedigital.com or www.ednaellison.com.

Polish Your Presentation BY KATHY COLLARD MILLER

Here are four points to evaluate to add polish any speaking presentation:

Hand gestures. Are you using your hands too much or too little? If anything is distracting the audience, then it’s a disadvantage to you. I remember one speaker who jabbed her hand forward about twice every sentence. Over time, it’s all I saw. It’s distraction speakers don’t want. Distracting mannerisms. My husband, Larry, and I

often speak together at retreats and events. For a while he twisted his wedding ring and looked up at the ceiling during our presentations. On some of the notes for our talks, I began writing, “Look at audience.”Those kind of written prompts help, especially when you are dealing with nerves.

Phrase or word repetition. Some time ago, I listened to

my recorded story and discovered that I was starting every sentence with the word, “and.” Since then, I make an effort to vary the beginning of my sentences.

Voice inflection. With the help of a voice coach, I’ve

recently begun working on making my voice range more varied than before. She pointed out how I was keeping my voice at a high pitch and taught me how to use the lower tones. I thought the high pitch made me sound more enthusiastic and vivacious. But I discovered a whole speech of it can get tiring for the audience. Above all, don’t wait to give your talk until you’re perfect. We all improve with experience. No matter what our abilities, each time we try we will get better.

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BY DARLENE ZSCHECH No t tha t I ha v e a l re a dy o b t a in e d a ll t h is , o r h a v e a lre a d y arr i v e d a t my goa l , bu t I p re s s o n t o t a k e h o ld o f t h a t f o r wh ic h C hri s t Je s us too k h o ld o f m e . — P h ilip p ia n s 3 : 1 2

Genius is e v e r y w h e r e . S o w e m u st ask o u r selves, Do I r eco g n ize i t? And

ar e w e s e c ure e n o u g h t o r e l e a se it in t h o se we m en t o r ?

The chances of genius in your midst are very high. I’ve sat in rehearsals and listened to some of the new songs being written by these younger men and women and left the building in shock at the brilliance! When I read the scripts they’re writing, feast my eyes on the artwork they’re creating, and catch a glimpse of the fashions they’re constructing, I am inspired!

Look around you—genius is everywhere just waiting for its appointed time.

Romans 1:20 says, “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse” (NIV). God’s invisible qualities, His genius, can be clearly seen, but we have to stop long enough to look, listen, and linger with those whom God has placed in our path. I see genius in people all around me. I see it as a true reflection of the creative nature of our God, even when He remains unacknowledged. I see it in architecture, I hear it in music, I feel it during a movie that unravels my emotions, I taste it when eating delectable foods and I touch it when handling exquisite fabrics and surfaces.

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I see genius in people all around me. I see it as a true reflection of the creative nature of our God, even when He remains unacknowledged.

But when I see genius in the house of God—people using their gifts to express devotion—I can hardly stand it, because it is so good!

Sadly, I have also seen many genius types drift in and out of church, wondering whether they have anything to contribute. Some are overlooked simply because they approach their creativity in ways that counter the status quo and bring more intensity than we have known.

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With genius in our midst, we must learn to get out of the way, to listen to the intensity of thought, and to encourage the passion with definitive intent. And we must make way for allowing the process of achieving the outcome to be different from the methods we have used in the past. It’s hard to do, let me tell you, especially when you can see a smarter way to achieve the outcome. But you and I must learn that there are many ways to achieve a great creative result. I have discovered that different is often just that—different—not worse or greater, just different.

Get good at loving the different. As leaders, we must become equipped to inspire the greatly talented in our midst. So if you have trouble doing that, think back to the time when you sensed God leading you to the place where you are today, to the time when His gentle but persuasive voice echoed deep in the chambers of your heart. You didn’t do things exactly the way others did them, but when God and man spoke hope into your potential,

you felt safe enough to explore your “different.” Now it’s your privilege to reconcile people’s hearts with the Father so they too feel safe enough to release the genius within—the different He put in each one of us.

Applaud the “Different” in Others

Moses recognized the different in Joshua. Moses knew he had taken the people as far as they could go under his leadership. He had the vision for the Promised Land, but Joshua’s genius—his “different”—would be needed to cross over and conquer the new territory. Moses shepherded the people through the wilderness; Joshua would take them into the Promised Land and help them to possess it. Elijah recognized the different in Elisha. God Almighty used Elijah to confront those who worshiped false gods; he wrought miracles of judgment to establish God’s truth and power. Elijah was the groundbreaker, the way-maker for Elisha. So when Elisha asked for a double portion of Elijah’s mantle, the spiritual ground had already been prepared to bring in the next level of miracles, those of mercy and grace. Many leaders today are so intimidated by the Joshua and Elisha in their midst that they fail to remember who it was that stood on the mountain with Jesus when He was transfigured—none other than Moses and Elijah (see Matthew 17). God does not forget the ones who establish, even when their successors have had a double portion of victory. He gives one the genius to imagine and break ground; He gives another the genius to complete the vision and set it up for their successors. Each one of us has a part in the eternal story that God is writing. And whenever I sense insecurity over my own small part to play, I think back on some of those moments when heaven intervened to change my life’s course, when the heart of God resonated with mine, putting my feet on solid ground and establishing my way. It doesn’t take long for the insecurities to start melting away in the light of His truth and glory. The historical heroes got it right. They didn’t see their small piece in the divine jigsaw puzzle of life as being minimized. They kept their focus on God, and realized that their moment in history was only a part of the greater story. And we need to remember that too! Hebrews 12:1-2 says it all: “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside very weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (NKJV). Excerpted from The Art of Mentoring by Darlene Zschech Copyright © 2009, 2011, Baker Publishing.

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7 Ways to Model Healthy BY SAUNDRA DALTON-SMITH

One of the most difficult but beneficial gifts a mentor can leave to her mentee is an appreciation of health and a healthy lifestyle. With over 70% of the population being overweight, many women in leadership may not feel qualified to mentor another in the area of health. Health is not a destination, it is a journey. And who doesn’t enjoy great company when traveling? Take the journey with another and you both will reap the benefits. Try one of these seven easy ways to incorporate health by example into your mentoring moments.

1. Plan active meetings. When the oppor-

tunity arises to meet with one or two women, nix the desire to gather at a coffee shop and take your meeting outside. Spend 30 minutes walking in a quiet setting as you plan, pray and brainstorm. Get the blood pumping in your large muscle groups and you will find your creative juices will flow better as well. Don’t worry about not having a notepad to record your minutes. Once the meeting concludes, sit with a note pad and individually record what you both recall. Compare notes to make sure all details are accurate. Exercise your short-term memory will also ward against dementia and early memory loss. Active meetings are the busy woman’s way to multi-task her way to good health.

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o you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? ~1 Corinthians 6:19, NIV

2. Share your health struggles. Just

because you are not a size 6 does not excuse you from your role as a health mentor. Even within our struggles God can use us to guide others. Some of life’s best lessons are not taught out of our successes but out of our struggles. Openly share your health struggles with those you mentor. If you find you are a stress eater, share that battle with those you mentor. Open up and evaluate the cause behind emotional eating. Use the opportunity to offer and receive healing as you lead those who may be dealing with a similar issue.

3. Give gifts with positive health benefits.

Baskets of cookies, home-made cakes and boxes of chocolate are common gifts of appreciation; but all can pack on major pounds. Next time you get the chance to bless someone with a gift choose one with positive health benefits. One cheap and fun gift is a pedometer to record daily steps and calories. Another is a portable water bottle with an uplifting message: Those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. ~Jesus. Additional healthy gift ideas include low calorie cook books for the chefs in your life or gift certificates for exercise classes or massages. - continued p. 24 -

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4. Cultivate a healthy thought life. The

mind is a field that requires routine maintenance. Spend time pulling up weeds of doubt, fear and insecurity. Then plant seeds of a healthy mindset in the lives of those you mentor. Water those seeds with prayer and allow ample room for growth and maturation. Uprooting old unproductive thought patterns will improve overall wellbeing and stress levels which in turn will result in greater productivity in other areas of your life.

5. Encourage healthy eating at gatherings.

Did someone say potluck? Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great gathering without great food? Unfortunately somewhere the incorrect idea was adopted that high fat, high calorie foods are needed to make a gathering festive. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to create a new norm among your mentoring group. Challenge each woman at your next gathering to bring a delicious healthy dish. Encourage new recipes, invite women to experiment with new items, and share ideas on ways to make old recipes lower in fat and calories.

6. Have a mammogram scheduling party. Breast cancer remains the most common cancer affecting women. Mammography is your best first line of defense. Early

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- - - - - Health Tracks - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - detection has led to a decrease in the number of deaths from breast cancer over the past few years. Show you care about the women in your life by inviting them to a yearly mammogram scheduling party. This is not just any party but one to celebrate womanhood. Each year focus on a different female heroine in the Bible as you share your own personal testimonies including those who have overcome breast cancer. You can enjoy a nice lunch together, praise together and conclude by having each woman call to schedule her yearly appointment.

7. Celebrate health victories with others.

Consistent exercise, weight loss, lower blood pressure and decreased stress levels are all reasons to celebrate. If you have found a way to improve your health, make that information available to those your mentor. Share books which have helped you live a healthier life. Show them tips you have incorporated into your lifestyle. Let those you mentor know that you are not boasting as one who has attained the goal, but you are one who is pressing toward the mark of a high calling of improved health. SAUNDRA DALTON-SMITH is an internal medicine physician, author, speaker and hope activist. She shares with audiences on the topics of eliminating limiting emotions and helps them see their options in life. She is the founder of I Choose My Best Life, a movement to renew hope in a generation where depression, stress and fear are peaking.

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Lead By Example BY ANGELA BREIDENBACH

She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong. – Proverbs 31: 17 NRSV

My physical therapist worked with me for a year to get my shoulder functioning again after surgery. The most beautiful part of her work included examples she performed first so I could watch and learn. She knew her stuff! One more accident – a tumbleweed roll on a treadmill with my foot lodged between a bookcase and the machine. (My own fault, of course, for not using the stop cord – hint, hint.) No weight on it for one of those months. The weight started piling on. Talk about frustrated! As soon as I could bear weight, it was back to the physical therapist to rehabilitate my ankle and foot ligaments. I hobbled into Miri’s office in my oh-so-graceful-bootscoot. What a shock when I found her in supreme condition! She’d modified her personal diet and stepped up her running. I stared in awe. I wanted to know what she knew! Through our sessions, Miri showed me more therapeutic exercises and managed atrophied muscles to avoid leg cramps. And she helped me past the hurdle of giving up. I needed someone to teach me a new aspect of the science of the body’s healing from injury and encourage me through to recovery. Many of the exercises were tiny. Each appointment I’d come back stronger having followed her advice and practiced at home. I loved her exuberance at my progress each week. This woman fully invested in my success! Other people noticed my progress too. Lots of people

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I started coaching weight loss and fitness several years ago. But, I crashed into a mountain – literally. My exercise was physical therapy under observation to be sure things held together. Painful? Yes! But my options were don’t, and be helpless, or do and get better.

asked how I did it. I didn’t do it alone. God brought a woman to lead me on the difficult journey to health by example. A few months I wondered if I’d ever walk without a limp. Today I’m walking normally again and feeling great. One woman showed another through example that it is possible to start small, work toward a goal, and exercise to bring about physical excellence. We started at 1 mph on the office treadmill. The next week we moved to 1.5 mph. The third week’s monstrous leap landed on 2 mph. By the fourth week, the workout moved to 20 minutes in her office and 10 minutes at home on the lowest setting for my elliptical. The key required a small foundation that expanded either in speed or time by the week. I can tell you how difficult it was to start at 5 minutes when I used to do an hour! Mentally, I let go of how fit I used to be and worked toward a new goal of how I would be. Believing that goal came from seeing someone else succeed. Ultimately, God’s ideal woman is one who cares for the body He created and entrusted into her care. What an amazing opportunity I have to embrace the amazing body God gave me. I also need to lead by example in exercise because to whom much has been given, much is required. As I continue to grow in physical health and ability, God will bring others into my life to share their journey to health. And He’ll do that with you too. How are you leading the women in your life? Are you in the best physical shape you can be and setting an example of honoring the gift of your body? As a woman in leadership, God has placed you in a position of trust. - continued on p. 27 -

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Crustless Quiche BY PENELOPE CARLEVATO My life was changing. I started working full time and became an empty nester. We were at a new church and I was lonely. I felt getting involved in Womens Ministries there was a good place to start. Was it ever! It was there I met my life-long mentor. Bobette was the cheerleader I needed. We met weekly. And of course we always had a meal and a cup of tea. This easy, crust less quiche is one of the favorite dishes we enjoyed together. It’s also gluten free. Add a small green salad or some fruit for a lovely luncheon or brunch.

Ingredients:

8 ounces fresh mushrooms ½ tsp garlic or garlic powder 10 oz package frozen spinach, drained and squeezed dry 4 large eggs 1 cup of 2% milk 2 oz feta cheese 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese ½ cup grated sharp cheddar cheese ½ cup shredded mozzarella cheese 8 strips of crispy cooked bacon 2 tomatoes sliced thin

LEAD BY EXAMPLE—Five Tips to Start: • Be smart and strategic for the long haul by managing your expectations and abilities. It’s easy to quit from soreness or injury. Build up strength and endurance a little each week. • If you don’t know how to start, choose an expert and create a program. • Invite other women to create a program – and set a date to start. Commitment level and success rates skyrocket when we partner. • Remember someone knows what you don’t. Being a leader means you’re willing to find the answer. It also means you’re willing to be mentored. One day you’ll mentor someone. • Keep a journal. It’s especially helpful on bad days when you don’t want to work out. Look back and see the progress you don’t want to lose. Appreciate how far you’ve come ANGELA BREIDENBACH is a speaker, coach, and the author of A Healing Heart, April 2013 from Abingdon Press in the Quilts of Love series. Find her online at www.AngelaBreidenbach.com

Directions:

food

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Thaw spinach and drain thoroughly. Clean and slice the mushrooms thinly and place in skillet with garlic and a little salt and pepper. Cook until just slightly browned. Spray a pie dish or other glass casserole dish with nonstick spray. Place the drained spinach on the bottom of dish. Add the cooked mushrooms and then sprinkle the feta cheese on top. Wisk the eggs until mixed together well, add the milk and Parmesan cheese. Pour over the ingredients in the dish. Then sprinkle the cheddar, mozzarella cheese over egg mixture. Then evenly sprinkle the bacon on top and place the tomato slices on very top. Bake until golden brown and when a knife is placed in center comes out clean...about 45 minutes, maybe a little longer depending on size of dish. Serve warm. Serves 6. PENELOPE CARLEVATO is author of “Tea on the Titanic.” Find her online at www.penelopesteatime.com.

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Do you ever struggle between being with God and doing for God? Discover 40 words from The Word to help you embrace both - sitting at the Master’s feet and walking in His way.

40 days - 40 words to change your life!

In Live These Words, my friend Lucinda McDowell urges us to new heights of spiritual intimacy– through life experiences, biblical lessons, stellar quotations and prayers. Convicting, yet comforting, I highly recommend this book!” – Joni Eareckson Tada, Joni and Friends

Bold Vision Books

www.boldvisionbooks.com

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time

Time for Sprinkling Joy Into Lives BY KAREN H WHITING

A few moments of encouragement or joyful thoughts • Start the day by noting three reasons to be thankful and share those thoughts.

• Send cards. Randomly choose friends, other leaders, or people at church and mail a card with a short note.

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can lift a person’s spirits. Consider little actions that add joy to lives of people around you that you can do in spare moments or even while greeting them. help and follow through with that commitment. Give one hour a week or month to help an elderly church member with lawn care, a chore, or other deed.

• Place a little money in an envelope ($5 or $10) and

• Phone someone to say hello, I’m praying for you today, give it to someone this week. and have a nice day. • Buy flowers for your spouse or write a note expressing your love. • Cuddle up with your spouse or child. • Give hugs. • Plan an appreciation party for people who have helped you or the group you lead. • Compliment people for their work, effort, or looks. • Take someone out for a coffee break or bring in a • Thank people for being themselves, for their good healthy treat for workers. character traits or for attending church or a meeting. • Appreciate work of others. Express that appreciation. • Smile at everyone you greet. • Encourage someone who has needs with a promise to KAREN H. WHITING is author of “Secrets of Success for Women: Time.” Find her online at www.karenwhiting.com.

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y t u a e b Skin Power Coffee Mask

BY SHELLY BALLESTERO

Believe it or not some of the most effective beauty

treatments are located no further than your pantry. Here is a tip from my skin care recipe box that will help you achieve a healthy glow and get you on the go! Need A Lift? Coffee…yes coffee can perk up a tired soul; however it can give an instant facelift when used on your skin!

*When choosing your coffee grounds, go with fresh organic blends. The organic blends have natural oils in them that will help to get your skin clean.

What you’ll need:

¼ cup dry coffee ¼ tsp. lemon juice 1 tsp yogurt (not fat free or low fat)

Preparation:

Mix together to make a paste then use a foundation brush to apply to face and neck using upward strokes, wait 10-15 minutes and rinse with warm water. Tone up, moisturize (don’t forget your sunscreen) and you are ready for the day! SHELLY BALLESTERO is author of Beauty by God: Inside-Out Secrets for Every Woman. Find her beauty products at www.mybeautifultruth.com.

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The Impact of Friends BY RHONDA RHEA

Isn’t it a little hard to save face after your face just did a plant? Especially a face plant on gravel—exfoliation gone so wrong. The last time I took a tumble I didn’t do a face plant so there was no eating gravel or anything. But I think I do remember the faint taste linoleum for a while. It was in a busy hallway at church. So it was really more the taste of linoleum and humiliation. It’s always nice to have friends nearby who will help you up. Well actually, to laugh uproariously for several minutes first and then make merciless fun of you for years. But at least they do help you up somewhere in between. I love the reminder in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10: “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up” (HCSB). Proverbs 18:24 also makes a thought-provoking point. “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother,” (ESV). There are times when it’s not enough to simply have someone standing by. Those surface kinds of acquaintances will come and go in our lives. But there is a true and lasting blessing in a friend who’s with you through all your ups and downs—through every victory and through every tumble. And there’s great blessing in becoming that kind of friend to someone as well. Since our Heavenly Father has so much to say about the importance of our relationships, and since He included

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nytime you trip in front of your friends, the best thing to do is to just bounce right back up and keep on going. To the airport. And then leave the country. Maybe change your name. this particular bit of friendship information in His Word, I’m taking that to mean I need to be reminded. We need each other—when we’ve just taken a header especially when we’ve been gracefully tiptoeing along. I find myself remembering each time a close friend offers godly counsel or encourages me to seek the Lord. I recall it well each time that friends spur me on or inspire me to walk closer to Christ by their example. And yes, still again each time a friend helps scrape me off the pavement after a spill. If you’re experiencing one of those seasons in life when your close friends are not as accessible, could I encourage you to keep praying, asking the Lord to send a bud your way? Who knows? He might drop one right in front of you. Maybe even in a church hallway—on linoleum. Meanwhile, Psalm 37:23-24 tells us that, “The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand,” (NIV). Whether there is a friend nearby or not, the Lord is never absent or inattentive. Even if there’s a bit of a spill, we’re lovingly held. True friends? They’re a blessed bonus. It’s amazing how the Lord can use them to impact our lives for Him. Good impact. Because now we know there’s impact… and then there’s impact on linoleum. RHONDA RHEA is an author, humor columnist and radio personality. She lives in the St. Louis area with her pastor-hubs and has five grown children. Find her online at www.rhondarhea.com.

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BY LISA TROYER

In hous e hold s a n d w o r k p l a c e s ar o u n d t h e wo r ld , t h er e is t h e p o ssi bi l i ty o f four ge ne r a t i o n s b e i n g p r e sen t .

B ui l de rs born f r o m 1 9 2 5 – 1 9 4 5 B oom e rs born f r o m 1 9 4 6 - 1 9 6 4 G EN -X ( I pre f e r t h e t e r m “ A d a p t o r s”) – b o r n f r o m 1 9 6 5 – 1 9 7 7 Mi l l e nnia ls bo r n f r o m 1 9 7 8 – 19 9 6 Work ethic, or perhaps better, the approach of said work ethic has varied greatly in the last several decades. I see our daughter Jillian, a senior in high school, born in 1996, as VERY Millennial. She’s very dedicated to her interests, but it looks much different than when I was at the same season in life. {30.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

The Millennial generation has a very real expectation

of ‘being heard’ in every conversation. The patience to be ‘invited’ into the conversation is not a value that they embrace nor comprehend. Albeit the way they communicate is sometime very impersonal in the opinion of prior generations, mainly via social media platforms, they are expressing much more than we did at the same age. How do we connect with Millennials? How do we develop a meaningful platform that builds a bridge that holds the weight of absolute truth in such a pluralistic society? In our homes, as well as our companies, my co-author Dawn Yoder and I continually face this question. Communication, or the lack thereof, is one of the main concerns (or on a rainy day or Monday) or complaints of the generations in which we are theoretically ‘sandwiched’. Boomers and Millennials have a very difficult time finding ‘common ground’. Boomer grandparents ask, ‘why won’t my grandchild call me on the phone?’ How often have our parents and grandparents asked that question of us? One grandparent said, ‘I finally decided to text my grandson. I asked how he was doing and he promptly responded! – but the text said, ‘k, I’m g8!!’. Poor Nana. It was a rather hollow interaction from her point of view. The sandwiched parent felt stretched in two directions. Firstly, feeling guilty that their child did little more than acknowledge their grandparent. Secondly, feeling sorry for their child, who was being a ‘good grandkid’ from their point of view. So, what’s an Adaptor to do? Be a bridge builder. How do we do that? If you will, please allow me to go to the Word to give us some context. The Proverbs give us an incredible bounty of wisdom that are the ‘slats boards in the bridge’. That’s why Dawn Yoder and I felt led to write REAL WOMEN LEADING with Proverbs 31 Values. The ‘IT Factor’ section of our books is predominantly based on values we have mined, like golden nuggets, from that incredible book of wisdom. I titled this article Every Woman Can Be a M.O.M. because mom’s mentor, invest, guide, dialogue, teach, ‘feed’ and model our values to our children. Most often, babysitters just keep the house from burning down, and the ‘diet’ provided is very basic. (kind of like PB & J or stove top Mac & Cheese) – it’s functional, but not intimate. The Millennial Generation is Missional, Mobile and Multi-cultural. This generation is not driven by the traditional, builder/boomer definition of success. They do

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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - not want to work 35 years and receive a gold watch. They feel that if they are all in at a company for 90 days, then, of course, their employer would give them a good recommendation. To the generations prior, that would be a sign of instability. Not so with Millennials. I think we need to accept the reality that Millennials ‘work to live’ – prior generations would ‘live to work’. Millennials want to have the freedom that technology affords them. They like to work, to create, to achieve – however, if they’ve completed their task, then their employer (or parent/grandparent) should praise their effort, give them the autonomy and authority to make their own schedule and fully understand that’s how they operate. Prior generations should also accept that they will share their opinion, and without hesitation. Since they learned from pre-school, ‘I am special and there’s nobody like me’, they become very confused and disheartened when the older generations don’t demonstrate the same philosophy. If you are interested in learning more about mentoring our Millennials, I’d like to suggest you read Proverbs 25 and Psalm 25. Begin to pray for a Millennial with whom you can connect. Then, I’d invite you to email me or visit my Facebook page and send a private message. I’d be more than happy to chat with you. I look forward to going into more detail in our next issue of LEADING HEARTS.

LISA TROYER is an author and speaker who enjoys spending time with her husband Bob, and their children Jillian and Christian. Email Lisa at lisatroyer@icloud.com and find her online at www.lisatroyer.com and on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ItinerantEncouragerLisaTroyer

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The Gift of Praying with a Friend BY LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD

Have you ever thought of tithing your prayer life by spending part of your prayer time praying for others?

That goes along with a study conducted over sixty years ago by a professor at Redlands University in California. Dr. Parker and Ms. St. John detailed this ten year experiment in their book Prayer Can Change Your Life. They describe creating three test groups made up of people with one thing in common; they were all desperate for an emotional or physical healing. The first group was made up of individuals who each met with a psychiatrist for one hour a week. The second group prayed for themselves by themselves, while the third group met together and prayed for each other for an hour every week.

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Angie, a friend of mine, decided to try praying for three other people every time she sent God a request concerning her own needs. Angie said, “When I started this practice, I was amazed at how God’s answers to my prayers began to increase.”

Which group do you think had the most dramatic results? You guessed it; it was the group that prayed for one another. The members of this group had a 72 percent answered prayer result, with 100 percent saying they had at least some lasting improvement in the areas prayed over. In fact, a non-believing husband of one of the members of this prayer group was actually healed of cancer. As for the other groups, the group that met with the psychiatrist had some improvements, but only as long as they continued to attend their weekly sessions. But what results did the lonesome prayer people have? Believe it or not, they had little to no improvements. I can’t say I’m surprised. I know when I’ve set out to pray for a need for myself, I find it’s easy to get discouraged in my prayers. But when I take this same need to a praying friend and we pray together, it seems to me that I can count on a swifter answer from God. In fact, I saw such a result this past weekend when my flight to Baltimore was in jeopardy of cancelation because of high winds. The

airline attendant told me, “I think you’re grounded until tomorrow.” Of course, I’d been praying all along, but it wasn’t until I reached out to my prayer team that the winds instantly died down and my flight was able to take off. My friend Carole puts it this way, “When we pray together, we have a more open heaven experience.” By this she means we can more easily access God and His answers to our prayers. I think the reason for this can be found in Ecclesiastes 4:12, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (NIV). I know that when I call out to God, I have a direct line to him. But when I come to God with a friend, it’s like our individual prayer lines are knitted together, creating an even stronger cord. Carole says, “I find that by adding a third person to a prayer circle, it’s like our cord of prayer grows even stronger. I’m always amazed at how much power these entwined prayers seem to have over the prayers I pray by myself.” If you haven’t already, I would encourage you to start your own prayer group, even if it’s made up of you and one other. If you can’t meet in person, meet online or over the phone at least once a week. Share requests then step back and watch what God will do with your cords of prayer. So, if you are seeking a blessing, be that blessing by praying for others and including the needs of others in your times of beseeching God. Don’t be surprised when God answers. LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD is author of Experiencing God’s Presence: Learning to Listen While You Pray. Visit her website at www.gottopray.com.

- - - - - Reviews - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MusicReviews BY HEATHER VAN ALLEN

Michael W. Smith

- - - - - Hymns - - - - For those who have ever turned in a hymnal to sing songs during music time at church, Michael W. Smith’s album Hymns, released March 24, 2014 exclusively for Cracker Barrel, is reminiscent of that experience. The multi-award-winning (including GRAMMY and Dove) veteran of contemporary Christian music has recorded 15 familiar tracks using traditional arrangements with occasional innovations showing Smitty’s style. While hymns such as “The Old Rugged Cross,” “My Jesus, I Love Thee,” “Victory In Jesus,” “How Great Thou Art,” “Just As I Am,” “Softly and Tenderly,” “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross,” “What a Friend We Have In Jesus” and “Great is Thy Faithfulness” might appeal somewhat more to an older generation than to the younger set, there is bound to be some crossover. Some listeners will likely fall into a category of those who tend toward contemporary music but can also be transported to fond memories of standing in the pews singing hymns next to their parents or grandparents. Listeners may find themselves singing along easily with the lyrics of Hymns from the very first track.

RATING: 4.5 out of 5 stars

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Paul Baloche

- - - - - LIVE - - - - When the heart and head is in need of a worship focus, listeners may want to plug in some Paul Baloche. The renowned worship leader’s new album LIVE, released April 1, 2014, soars upward with its melodious tracks of praise and adoration for use in churches across the globe. Recorded during a gathering of church worship teams from Canada, LIVE is a compilation of new and classic songs offered as “sung prayers” to God. With tracks like “Our God Saves,” “God My Rock,” “You Lift Us Up,” “Mighty Fortress,” “My Hope,” “Hosanna (Praise is Rising), the Easter-inspired “He Is Risen” and more, the momentum of unfettered praise and worship continuously builds as the session continues; the listener may easily feel transported, immersed in hand-raising celebration right along with the congregation. Paul Baloche’s LIVE, backed by the joyous shouts of the crowd, does what a worship album should—brings the heart into focus on God.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars

Rend Collective

- - - -The Art of Celebration- - - - The Art of Celebration, the fourth album by critically-acclaimed Irish worshipers Rend Collective, released March 17, 2014. The album succeeds in, as member Gareth Gilkeson describes it, its “attempt to reflect something of the irrepressible laughter in the heart of God.” A lyric in the track “All That I Am” says, “In these empty hands I have it all / the pure joy of knowing you, my Lord,” a theme that threads through the album. “Celebration, the practice of joy, is a choice,” says Gareth. “That doesn’t mean it’s always an easy choice to make. We know that we inevitably must navigate storms of sorrow and shadows, disappointment and doubt in this life.” Songs like the rollicking opener, “Joy,” and others, such as “Burn Like a Star,” “My Lighthouse,” “More Than Conquerors,” “Immeasurably More” and “Finally Free” express that, not in circumstances, but in trusting, worshiping and praising God, we discover the joy in the Truth teaching us the “art of celebration.” Caution: The Art of Celebration may lead to dancing while driving.

RATING: 5 out of 5 stars HEATHER VAN ALLEN finds some tunes in her earbuds to be a great way to get into the writing zone. She writes from her home in Springfield, Missouri. Visit her blog at http://heathervanallen.wordpress.com.

BookReview BY MARILYN LUCE ROBERTSON

What Women Should Know About Facing Fear - - - - Christin Ditchfield - - - -

“Imagine what your life could be without those anxious thoughts, nagging worries, and crippling fears. What if you could finally become the woman you were created to be?” Christin Ditchfield not only asks the question we’ve asked ourselves time and time again, but also offers practical, biblical solutions for overcoming our fears and boldly stepping into the lives we were meant to lead. In What Women Should Know About Facing Fear, Christin leads readers through her own experiences, encouraging Scriptures, and reflection guides designed to release women from the bondage of fear. Christin’s easy-to-read and personable writing style is inviting and engaging, yet powerful. [Published by Leafwood, 224 pages]

RATING: 4.5 out of 5 stars

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Moment Maker

- - - - Carlos Whittaker - - - “A life rich with meaning doesn’t simply fall into your lap.” Instead, blogger and musician Carlos Whittaker urges readers to discover the value of investing their attention when looking for meaning. In his new book Moment Maker, Whittaker asserts that by becoming actively aware of our surroundings, people and opportunities, we position ourselves to “seize the moment” and live life to the fullest. In Moment Maker, Carlos shares that some moments are created by us, some are received and some are rescued. The seemingly small moments that make up our lives continuously shape us. “In each of these moments, we have an opportunity to let them happen to us…or let us happen to them.” With a fresh voice and ample real-life examples, Carlos Whittaker shows readers how to live an enriching, intentional life.

[Published by Zondervan, 166 pages]

RATING: 4 out of 5 stars

Faithprints

- -Rebekah Binkley Montgomery- “Here’s where our faith in Jesus gets personal. And real. Because through our hands, Jesus makes His clearest Faithprints on those nearest and dearest.” Author Rebekah Binkley Montgomery challenges readers to reach out into their circles of influence, helping to meet the needs of those who are hurting, lonely, hungry and in need of a Christ-like touch of God’s love. In her new book, Faithprints, Touching Your World for Jesus, Rebekah offers poignant personal encounters that illustrate the many ways God has used her to share His grace and mercy, leaving a Faithprint on the hearts and lives of those around her. With an endearing frankness and a clear desire to inspire others to touch the world with love, Rebekah illustrates the profound power of prayer and faith as she offers real-life examples, practical how-tos and established resources to encourage readers in hands-on ministry one-to-one, in their communities and through their churches.

[Published by Zondervan, 166 pages] RATING: 4 out of 5 stars MARILYN LUCE ROBERTSON is a full time copywriter and freelancer who lives in Springfield, Missouri with her husband and young son. Find her blogspot http://luceleaf.wordpress.com.

Who is the Star?

BY SHARON NORRIS ELLIOTT

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t seems to have been born in me to perform before an audience. My mother loved to tell the story of one Easter when I was about three years old. I, like all the other Sunday School kids, had my speech to say. Dressed in my frilly dress – outfit complete with hat, gloves, lace socks, and white patent Mary Janes – I was ready for my big moment. As the pastor’s daughter, I somehow knew all eyes would be on me to get it right. One kid before me stumbled over his words; another could hardly be heard even with the microphone held close to his mouth. Another little girl dissolved into tears and never did get her speech said. Then it was my turn. I recited my two-liner like a pro, without a mistake. The congregation applauded. “Hey,” my little brain must have thought, “I like that.” So I began to ad lib. I struck into a full chorus, choreography and all, of the “Hokey Pokey.” My mother was mortified but I was quite pleased with myself. I was the star of the show. But I wasn’t supposed to be the star that Sunday. Reading Isaiah 58:13-14 caused me to shudder to think

how many other times I allowed my performance to overshadow the message I was assigned to deliver. Those verses say, “If you turn away your foot from the Sabbath, from doing your pleasure on My holy day, and call the Sabbath a delight, the holy day of the LORD honorable, and shall honor Him, not doing your own ways, nor finding your own pleasure, nor speaking your own words, then you shall delight yourself in the LORD; and I will cause you to ride on the high hills of the earth, and feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father. The mouth of the LORD has spoken” (NKJ). This truth is applicable to all of us, whether we’re up in front of an audience, living before an unsaved husband, training up children, or working in an office. Someone is always watching. How much of His message is overshadowed by our performance? When people walk away from an encounter with us, do they remember us, or do they remember Him? As the passage above states, we honor God by not finding our own pleasure, nor speaking our own words. Let Him be the star of everything we do. SHARON NORRIS ELLIOTT’S engaging yet challenging messages touch the hearts and tickle the funny-bones of her audiences, making her a popular, sought-after speaker. She and her husband James are enjoying their empty nest in Southern California.

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