FACEBOOK THOUGHTS
NICK ROBERSON
Tell Me When The Dewarsmobile Shows Up
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Nick Roberson
Nick Roberson is a long-time mortgage industry veteran and a board member of the California Association of Mortgage Professionals. He’s a forthcoming and giving guy, who shares his … unique … perspective on work and life on his Facebook account. Here are some of Nick’s FB thoughts this month:
Quarantine Lesson #75: When celebrating with someone via an elbow-tap instead of a high-five or fist-bump, it is best to coordinate with them or warn them first. I got a little excited when I found my favorite wine at BevMo last night and the poor lady next to me didn’t even see it coming.
Quarantine Lesson #74: My home office gets pretty busy sometimes. My daughter tells me I need to get a Do Not Disturb sign. I think what I really need is a sign that says, Already Disturbed, Proceed With Caution! There should be a whiskey truck that drives around blasting bagpipe music in the evening, and we run out with our money. Like an ice cream truck, but, you know …. with whiskey.
Quarantine Lesson #73: My bucket list included the desire to be a part of a pub brawl in Ireland. One that breaks out over an argument about football and ends up with everyone drinking and laughing. Last night my daughter thought it would be funny to chuck a pillow at me as I entered the room. I quickly dodged the pillow with a Matrix worthy move. However, in the process, I pulled
something in my lower back causing pain to shoot through me dropping me to my knees. As I grabbed the door to pull myself back up, knees popping and painfully creaking, it became painfully clear to me I should probably scratch the Pub Brawl off of my bucket list.
Quarantine Lesson #72: My daughter professed loudly today that her cookies were better than any “Grandmas cookies” on the planet. I jokingly told her I was going to tell both of her grandmothers that she said so. She turned and looked at me with the most serious face and said, “Snitches get stitches” (as she pulled her index finger across her throat). I really need to be more careful about the movies I let her watch. There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: “Boom Shakalaka.”
Quarantine Lesson #71: To my Uber driver Jimmy. While I am thankful you got me to the airport on time to make my flight, it is important to note the masks your passengers wear will not cover the smell of your gaseous emissions. The animal style burger from In-N-Out Burger was clearly a bad choice for you. Oh, and you probably should see a doctor.
Quarantine Lesson #70: Don’t wear noise cancelling headphones while vacuuming. I finished the whole house and realized the vacuum wasn’t plugged in.
Quarantine Lesson #69: I got yelled at today for not following the arrows on the floor while shopping at Walmart. Of course, I get the one Walmart employee smart enough to not buy my “it’s Opposite Day” excuse. Although, I do believe I smelled some hair burning as she paused a moment to process my argument.
Quarantine Lesson #68: My neighbor across the street either needs new window coverings or a longer bathrobe. On that note, I will not be ordering Moons Over My Hammy at Denny’s ever again.
To see more by Nick, just go to www.facebook. com/nickroberson.
Photo credit: iStockphoto / Nerthuz
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