3 minute read
What’s Next? Michael V. Pollock
What’s Next?
By Michael V. Pollock, Executive Director of Interaction International
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Growing up in a milieu of ongoing change, adult TCKs can be haunted by this question. Sometimes we feel driven to keep changing things up because we simply have no life models for staying put or because we are addicted to the rush of new experiences.
At the same time, our globalized world has moved into faster cycles of change: jobs and careers flip more quickly and more often than even ten years ago. And some people are just built for adventure, seeming to thrive on changing life-scapes.
There is not just one right way to think about a life of job and careers, but there are some questions to ask that help us consider our options and our motivations. Making space in life to reflect and then move ahead intentionally can make a significant difference in our outcomes.
In my 10 years as a life and transitions coach and 30 years working with TCKs, I am a witness to how powerful questions help uncover and clarify next steps.
When confronted with restlessness or an opportunity for change, we might ask ourselves some key questions to bring more clarity.
1. Can I stay and am I willing to stay?
If we feel we cannot stay put because we are “just restless,” it is important to drill down to the why. We might need some help digging deeper if there is pain involved or if it just feels like we are hard-wired that way. It is possible we are running from something. This might require help from someone who is trained to walk through a life excavation process with us to uncover and help us to deal with the root issues.
2. Can I leave and am I willing to go?
If we are able to make a change but not willing, it can be revealing to ask ourselves why not? It might be that we have a basket of reasons that are all good, such as relational roots, satisfying work, and life-giving options like access to mountain hikes or great international cuisine. But it might also be fear—of the unknown, of the risks, and ultimately, of growth. It is possible to become comfortable in our discomfort and at home with our sense of not belonging.
3. What might I gain and lose in making this decision? Am I willing to count those costs?
Doing a personal cost analysis can be eye opening and might go hand in glove with a risk analysis. Some of us carry a gut sense of foreboding until we can identify the source, put it out on the table (figuratively speaking), and consider it objectively.
4. Which of my values am I living out by pursuing my various options?
Considering our own values in life, such as deep relationships or opportunity to make loads of cash, may easily be overlooked in the logistical questions of a job or career decision. List the values honored in a column under each option and clarity may come in a snap.
Whatever our process, it helps to know ourselves well: what we are passionate about and where we are burdened for the world. It matters to look outward and understand what the world needs and what we are good at that we can offer. And it helps to know what we can get paid to do. Simply put, the world is in a great state of flux and we still need to eat.
The point is to be intentional along the way. In the immortal words of rocker Bob Seger,
"The years rolled slowly past And I found myself alone Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends I found myself further and further from my home, And I guess I lost my way There were oh-so-many roads I was living to run and running to live Never worried about paying Or even how much I owed… "(“Against the Wind”)
We need to take the time to know ourselves, our context, our motivations, and our options. We can’t lose our way. With intentionality, we can choose to run toward goals that will integrate our lives even if we remain rooted in place geographically.
