QUIET MAN
My Grandad is 88 years old and has been suffering with dementia for the past two years. He has always been a quiet man, at family gatherings and meal times he would always be quiet, joining into occasional conversation but never being a big talker. He would be content and happy when around his family but since he has developed dementia things have become different, he has become different. Confusion for grandad is a big struggle for him becoming confused within certain situations and having server memory loss. This applies to simple tasks such as how to use the remote control or remembering to take his eye drops everyday. He also can become confused regarding people and people’s names this can even apply to family remember particularly if he hasn’t seen them in a while. As well as these concerns he has also become fragile and unsteady when walking or standing up from sitting.
Grandad has become fragile and unsteady when walking or standing up from sitting. He needs help for these activities from people or such things as hand rails.
In the kitchen lays a confusing mess for him. He’s never been keen on cooking and has always been cooked for, however now he rarely sets foot in the kitchen. The number of different appliances and equipment that are located in the kitchen is a difficult process for grandad to engage with.
Memory is a huge concept regarding dementia, keeping lists can really help. Shopping lists are especially useful.
“Grandad was never the center of attention, but after his diagnosis it is like he is fading away very gradually. As the disease has progressed you can tell that grandad is working hard to do even simple tasks - as if he’s relearning how to do them again from scratch�.
One small pill is the only pill that grandad needs to help stabilize his dementia. It doesn’t help it get any better but instead prevents it from getting any worse.
“He’s not the man I once married”.
Living together in a small bungalow in Bournemouth nana cares for grandad everyday. Helping him to remember the simplest of things to having to help him with his mobility that he has now lost. This can be a hard job for one person every single day, especially when she knows her husband is slipping away.
Every morning nana will lay out his breakfast for him ready to sit down and start eating it. Throughout breakfast nana needs to remind him to drink his tea, to take his memory pill and to put milk on his cereal.
Grandad becomes very forgetful throughout the day starting from the minute he wakes up to when he later goes to sleep at night. Leaving the table in the middle of eating his breakfast grandad completely forgets he had any breakfast to finish. Not returning to the breakfast table to finish.
Dementia has stolen a great part of grandads personality, we as a family can feel we’ve lost a part of the man we know.
“I often wonder what is going on in his mind. It’s lovely to see his face light up when he reminisces about his younger days”
As his mobility has become unsteady he often spends most his time on the sofa in the living room with this table. It includes a sense of what he does in the day, watching DVDs and sometimes trying puzzles with nana.
It can become a lonely world when living with someone with dementia, becoming frustrating for nana struggling to help him on her own. Everyday tasks become long and hard work.
Nana and grandad have been married for 61 years, growing up and through life together. The dementia is now an important part in both their lives. Effecting everyday life for them, turning simple things upside down forcing them to cope with the change.
It is unclear to know if he is really reading the newspaper or if he is just browsing through it. From his loss of concentration and confusion he doesn’t always know or understand what he is looking at let alone reading about.
Equipment such as bath lifts have been put in place for his mobility, helping him get in and out of the bath. He has become fragile and unsteady, finding it hard to keep his balance.
Grandads memory and confusion is getting progressively worse, sorting bills would be an impossible task for him. It has become chaotic without any order making it hard for Nana to now sort these household bills. It was always grandads job to sort and organize the bills.
“He doesn’t feel like the father I once knew, a part of me feels like I’ve already said goodbye to my father”
Dementia not only affects grandad himself but everyone around him too. The simplest tasks and daily activities can become difficult. The condition forces changes amongst everyone involved and around them, creating a whole new world of challenges and help. “I find it hard to watch him struggle to do the simplest of things, I wish I could take the pain and discomfort away from him�
Amy Jones