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3 Easy Steps For How To Ask A Girl Out... One of the most frequent questions I get from guys is how to ask a girl out. It's one of those things that seems so hard up front, but is not really all that difficult once you understand what women want from men. It's all about your attitude - and tuning into her channel. So to help you understand how to ask a girl out, I'm going to coach you through my 3 easy steps: How To Ask A Girl Out - Step 1: Make her an offer she can't refuse. Sun Tzu - the great military strategist and philosopher - once said that every battle should be won BEFORE it's fought. What he meant was that people who rush into situations without a plan to back them up are asking for trouble. There's never a reason to leave your strategy up to fate, or destiny, - or even "chance." If you practice something called "inevitability thinking" you will always succeed. All you have to do is ask yourself one question: "In order to make it INEVITIBLE that this girl will want to go out with me, what would I have to do?" When you answer that question, your date is guaranteed. What this all boils down to is making one thing clear to the woman you want to ask out: That if she doesn't go out with you, she's going to be missing out on a FUN time. Remember, we're all tuned in to "WII FM" Radio - What's In It For Me? We don't purposely put ourselves in boring situations. So if you want her to want to be a part of your plan, show her how much fun she'll have with you. That's what she needs to see and feel to go out with you. Only ask a woman out when you know she's going to say yes. Anything else is sloppy strategy, and you'll just get your butt kicked. As well as your self-confidence. The Alpha Man doesn't roll the dice - he owns the table! How To Ask A Girl Out - Step 2: Assume the Sale There is an old sales technique that involves just TELLING your prospect what you're going to do. You assume that the sale has already been made. You don't say: "So should I go ahead and place the order?" - which just sounds scary... You say: "Which color would you like, black or red?" You're assuming that she's going to say yes. Assume that and the chances actually increase that she will. Because deep down inside of all of us is the desire to FOLLOW. We want someone to make the decisions for us, and a woman is no different. In fact, she needs this even more from a man so that she can believe that he'll have the Right Stuff when it comes time to protect her or provide for her.
So instead of saying: "So can we go out sometime...? Maybe Saturday?" You say: "We have to hang out sometime. Tell you what, I'll meet you at O'Hara's at 7:00 tomorrow. Give me your phone number just in case..." See what that last version does? It assumes she's going to be there. And you're even locking her in by getting HER number in advance - and then letting her know that you're the one that could cancel on her. One is weak and supplicating, and the other is strong and confident. You want to push the envelope a bit and demonstrate that you know you have the "goods" - and you can deliver them. Take charge! You're the man - which means you're the leader. So LEAD her to the win-win goal you both want. How To Ask A Girl Out - Step 3: Be prepared to convince. Most women know that "hard to get" works. It works like CRAZY. So what she will do is to test you a bit by giving you a little resistance. Because if she jumped at the chance to go out on a date with you, that would be too easy - and no woman wants to seem easy. She might come up with reasons why she can't make it, or why she's already got something going on, or... gosh, she "just doesn't know if she can make it..." You have to use your own common sense to tell if she's being difficult, but the truth is that she just needs to be convinced that this is the right thing for her to do. After all, you're one big risk to her. You're another guy who could wind up being a bore, or a time drain, or emotionally draining. Or she might get emotionally involved with you, and you could break her heart - like that last guy. So you have to be more sure of your value than she can doubt you. Sell it a little. Let her know what a great time you two will have together, and tease her a little for not being adventurous. If you did your work in the last two steps, this last step will be a piece of cake. In fact, if you really impress her with how much fun she's going to have with you in your "un-refusable offer," and you demonstrate clear confidence that you're "the man," you'll probably find her GIVING you her number. She'll be dropping more hints than a 5 year-old who wants a bike for Christmas. The secret to how to ask a girl out is all in your attitude and your posture. If you come across as approval-seeking, or that you've got no other options, don't be surprised when girls start flaking and refusing. But the entire game changes when you start playing the role of the man who's out there having fun, living his life, and letting other people come along for the ride. So if you really want to know how to ask a girl out, that's the secret key to unlocking the puzzle.
- Carlos Xuma For more How to ask a girl out and a free e-book... You can also get a free newsletter on dating tips for guys.
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