“Now’s not good, but now’s better than then. And tomorrow could be better again. It doesn’t have to be the same, the same, the same.”
Known to friends and family as Jez, Jeremy Simpson has suffered severe depression since adolesence. Now 50 years old, he has also been recovering from a brain injury caused 5 years ago when he was hit by a bus in Bristol. Having moved to Bath for a fresh start he hopes his life might be beginning to improve. From the age of around 14, Jeremy Simpson has had a troubled life. Though he didn’t know it at the time, he was suffering from depression, a mental health condition that would plague him through to adulthood. Despite hating school, his natural intelligence enabled him to get good grades and he went on to get a degree and then a Masters in Mechanical Engineering. This lead to a successful job working for Ericsson in Germany. During this time, he lived in The Netherlands and has often said that this was the happiest period in his life. Unfortunately due to financial cuts, the company announced mass redundancies and Jeremy lost his job. Instead of taking redundancy pay, he agreed to a scheme that promised to find him similar work nearby. This never materialised and he soon could no longer afford to live there. He was forced to move back to England and live
Jeremy’s basement flat in Bath
with his parents, which was a tremendous blow to his confidence and ultimately his depression became much worse. Eventually he was able to get out of his parents’ house again and moved to Bristol in the hopes of a fresh start, away from family problems that hadn’t helped his depression. It was then, shortly after the move, that he was tragically hit by a bus whilst crossing a road. Initially he was treated very poorly by the staff at the hospital, who thought he was merely a drunk. However it was later realised that the reason he was slurring his words and struggling to stand upright was because he had become severely brain damaged in the accident. In the years since then he has re-learnt to walk with the aid of sticks and his speech has improved a lot. He now lives in Bath, a place where he feels much safer and that reminds him of better times he had there as a student. I met up with him there to see
how he is coping. Despite being happier in Bath than in Bristol, he still misses being able to travel. Due to his brain injury he has had to come to terms with the fact that he will never be able to cope with going abroad again. For someone who has lived in and visited so many different places, this has been a difficult thing to accept. To escape from his feelings of being trapped, he often uses the street view feature on Google Maps and “travels” around the world from the safety of his basement flat in Bath. He regularly visits Maastricht, where he lived in in The Netherlands, but also explores new places;
“I went on holiday, I went all the way round the coast of Scotland. I’d always wanted to do that, never will now. But I’ve done it on Google Maps.” Due to the damage caused by the brain injury he finds it difficult to walk, but manages to shuffle short distances with the aid of two walking sticks. He regularly visits the pub just down the road and there is a small corner shop within walking distance. Once a week he tries to make the half mile journey into the centre of Bath but sometimes overestimates his ability and struggles to get home, often needing to get a bus or taxi in order to make it back. He wants to get to a point where he no longer feels trapped. This is not only due to his physical mobility issues, but also his mental state - leaving the safety of his flat makes him very anxious and working out which problems are down to the brain injury and which are down to depression is something he is trying to accomplish.
“I was threatened, I was abused, ‘cause I was a soft and easy target.”
mentally able to work has been very tough on Jeremy. Though he will never be able to work properly again, he has been given the opportunity to volunteer as a trustee at MIND. Here, there is not the pressure that there would be at a real job but still the experience which has been invaluable to him and his progress. He has regained some of his memories of what it was like to work - he helps with things like financing and planning meetings, giving him a feeling of worth. For someone who has suffered from mental health conditions most of his life, the opportunity to work with a charity that helps people like him has been hugely beneficial for his confidence and sense of purpose. In the future, Jeremy hopes to use his position within MIND as a vessel to raise awareness for both brain injury and depression. He wants to form links with schools and universities in Bath to encourage young people with mental health conditions to seek help. He also wants to form more regular arts classes for the people who benefit from the charity as these have been so helpful to him.
As a form of therapy, Jeremy does drawing and painting. Here, he holds a portrait he is proud of.
Graphs drawn to represent feelings and the return of memories and abilities over time.
Recently he had a battle with local authorities over the renewal of his disabled bus pass. Because he can walk over 50 yards with the aid of sticks they were arguing that he wasn’t disabled enough to be entitled to the pass. Thanks to help from MIND, the mental health charity, enough pressure was generated to reinstate his bus pass which is vital to helping him get around. Because his memory is so poor, Jeremy finds it helpful to write things down and always carries a notebook around with him in case he needs to take note of something important. He has also taken to writing poetry as a way of expressing his feelings. Opposite is one is one he wrote about his struggles with walking, and how getting a second stick has really helped. He also enjoys other forms of creativity - before the accident he was very good at painting and drawing and his flat is decorated with pieces he did to remind him of what he can be capable of. He still does some now and hopes to be able to one day produce art to the same standard that he did before. As well as more traditional forms of art, he has taken a few classes in stained-glass and would like to continue doing this as a way of feeling like he can achieve things and learn new skills. As someone who used to have a high-paid, well-respected job, not being physically or
Jeremy remains incredibly reliant on public services such as busses and taxis in order to get around.
My head is down The pavement’s dull But I will stand and fight My head is down But I push on Won’t wallow in my plight My head is down But I’ll get there ‘Cause I will see a light My head pulls up I look around All senses just ignite Feel that ground Smell the air See the whole world move I hear my cry For I am here To taste the joy of life
“When you’ve been down there, if you can help one person back out of it, you’ve done well.”
MIND is a registered charity in England. To find out more visit www.mind.org.uk/