Improving Impact, Connection, and Relationships Through Better Conversations

at play. To change the tone of the conversation, you will need to find a way to move the conversation down the ladder of conclusions.

Moving down the ladder of conclusions can be accomplished in five simple steps:

1. Connect with the other person by saying you want to ‘process’ the conversation itself so that you end up with a healthier and stronger relationship.

2. Share stories between the two of you. Allow each person to share your stories about the conversation, including the thoughts and beliefs you experienced on the ladder. The key here is to listen without judgment.

3. Discover the impact the situation had on each other.

4. Discover the ripple effect it has on others.

5. Partner with the other person on your actions and commitments for a better outcome.

The benchmarks of a partnering conversation mean that true listening is occurring on each side. It means that participants are observant, take responsibility for their actions, and seek others' input or opinions. The conversation is engaging for both parties and seeks win-win solutions that merge ideas or create new solutions jointly. It’s a highly creative and energetic conversation.

Transformational Conversations

Judith E. Glaser characterized conversations on three levels: transactional, positional, and transformational conversations. The higher-level conversations are not only more productive, but they also have deeper and more meaningful outcomes. They produce more oxytocin in our brains and make us feel better. In these conversations, we are listening to connect without judgment.