Retail Randoms

BEFORE YOU GO: URBAN AXE THROWING / DRINK FOR BRITAIN

Escape room firm has axe to grind

As the country tentatively starts to take its first faltering footsteps back to some semblance of normality, the Scots firm which opened the country’s first escape rooms has addressed the coronavirus-induced flaw in its business model – i.e. no one in their right mind now wants to locked in anywhere ever again – by preparing to launch axe throwing experiences across the UK.

Edinburgh-based Escape has established ‘Game of Throwing’, set to open in Chelmsford, Hull, Newcastle and Plymouth. Urban axe throwing is apparently a global trend which originated in Toronto, Canada, and is set to take the UK by storm as indoor entertainment returns following the lifting of lockdown restrictions.

The urban axe throwing experience involves groups of up to six booking their own enclosed and safe throwing lane or lanes, which come with a coach who will teach everyone how to “throw an axe safely” in just 15 minutes.

Despite this, players are warned to wear “closed-toe” shoes only, although we’re pretty sure your severed digits won’t care whether you were wearing sandals or sneakers when they parted company from the rest of your foot.

Drink for Britain

If the thought of spending an evening locked in an escape room or dodging axes in opentoed sandals is driving you to drink, then there’s some great news from Company Debt.

Whilst taking a break from rescuing failing businesses, the insolvency services provider has worked out how much Brits would need to drink to haul the hospitality industry, which it says has lost at least £25.66bn due to Covid-19, back to a pre-pandemic level of profitability.

The answer is 124 per pints per adult, based on a figure of 52 million grown-ups in the UK. The company was obviously too lazy to factor in the large number of underage drinkers the nation has to offer.

“Pubs will need additional financial support for years if they are to recover from this,” Dave Mountford, a publican and campaigner at the Forum for British Pubs, commented.

Don’t worry Dave. We’ve made our own quick calculations and reckon that if everyone in Britain were to go on just one stag/hen weekend to Whitley Bay then the hospitality industry would be back on its feet in two days, and the rest of us would be flat on our backs. Please drink responsibly.