ADVICE
“TAKE TIME TO C.A.R.E.”
H
BY CHRISTY JONES
ello my dear friend, happy May! As you know, the focus for this month’s issue is mental health. This topic is one that is probably one of the dearest to my heart because I have been privileged to be professionally trained as a marriage and family therapist. I fell in love with the field of mental health because I believe that it is an important part of each of our lives that deserves the utmost attention and respect. I want to share a personal story with you that I hope will encourage you as you reflect upon and think about your own mental health and what it means for you to take care of yourself. When I was about 21, I experienced a very traumatic mental health challenge that caused me to have to take an extended break from a lot of projects and even people so that I could focus on getting myself together. I was involved in several work projects, community outreach initiatives as well as relation-
18
ships that I was building. I was stretched completely thin, but, at that time, I did not notice myself breaking inwardly. I was struggling to set boundaries because I was used to just accepting whatever came my way and handling it no matter what. I was not resting properly. I was not eating nutritiously. I did not have time to exercise. All I was doing was working. I was burning the candle at both ends, as they say, until one day the candle was almost burned out. I remember being the leader of a particular project, and it was time for me to execute, I had done absolutely nothing on that project for months. I stood in the front of the person I was reporting to and just started crying uncontrollably. My thoughts were racing, my heart was pounding furiously, and I could not utter any words. I was not myself. It took my leader by surprise because she had never seen me fall apart like this, but I was under so much pressure that I just simply could not handle one other thing! I collapsed to the floor and held my face in my hands and sobbed until my eyes felt heavier than bricks. I could not get myself together. She looked at me, picked me up in her arms and held me as I tried to collect myself. She said to me, “Christy, you need to take a break. You have to go take care of yourself.” Under the collaboration plan with my therapist, about a week after that experience, I reached out to my sister who was living in Texas and asked her if I could come and stay with her for a while because I needed to get myself together. She purchased a plane ticket for me, and I left the state of North Carolina for close to two months. I disconnected totally from everything and everyone and I spent time “refilling my cup.” That was a pivotal moment in my life and since that moment (20 plus years ago), I have made it my priority to take care of myself, especially my mental health. During that time, I did not have a self-care plan. I did not even consider my energy level or even the power of nourishing my mind and taking care of my emotions. I did not think that that was even necessary or important. Because I am a “people-pourer” (a term I made up), at that time, I just thought that it was my responsibility to help everyone and do all within my power to empower others. Now, that is still very relevant to who I am as a person, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a coach, and a leadership development strategist. The difference is I have learned this one vital lesson: I cannot pour from an empty cup! In order for me to have some-
Her - Magazine
May 2022
