HER ADVICE

ADVICE

Marriage WHAT I HAVE LEARNED ABOUT

BY COACH CHRIS

First, let me just say that I can hardly believe that we are already in the second month of 2022. It seems like we were just watching the clock strike 12 to welcome the new year! Time moves so fast. However, in case I have not had the chance to say happy new year to you personally, let me take this moment and welcome you to 2022. Here’s to the best year of your life — ever! Here is to better!

As you know, this month we are featuring the bridal issue, and all our contributors are sharing tips and tricks with you regarding wedding planning, décor, and other topics. This is probably one of my favorite subjects to share because I absolutely love the concept of marriage.

My educational background is marriage and family therapy and my husband, and I serve as the lead facilitators for our marriage ministry at our church, Koinonia Christian Center. We have the privilege of meeting with couples and helping to plan group activities that empower them to experience the best marriage possible. We have a phenomenal time.

As you are planning and preparing for your big day, allow me the honor of sharing with you a few things I have learned about marriage. 1. Marriage is more than just the wedding day. Now, I love watching brides go through the process of planning their special day. With the right wedding planner, it can be fun and freeing. Picking out flowers, looking at venues and selecting just the right music can be exciting. Over the years, though, I have watched people put more emphasis on the wedding day and not as much on the life after the wedding. May I share this with you: Marriage is about making daily deposits into another imperfect human being as you are navigating the waters of daily life together. It is important to take a moment and look beyond the wedding day and see the future of your marriage.

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2. Marriage is not for children. I know this sounds silly, and I am sure many of you reading this are slightly chuckling. It is kind of funny, but I have found it to be so true, particularly as I have had the privilege of coaching and counseling couples. You see, by nature, children think the world centers around them, and that is not the case in marriage. Children throw temper tantrums when they do not get “their” way. You cannot have a healthy marriage and throw a tantrum. In marriage, it is important to put on your “big girl” pants and focus on others. I cannot tell you the number of couples that we have met that are “fussing” over things that are “self-focused” and not marriage centered. In marriage, you must be an adult.

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3. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not just endured. It is important to make note that after the wedding dress is taken off, after the last dance has occurred and when the honeymoon is over, marriage begins! There are some people who will say things like “Honey, just be careful because things change” Or, “Yes, enjoy these moments now because they won’t last.” I want to let you know that this does not have to be your story! You can have a marriage that is full of laughter, companionship, and joy—if you so choose! Your marriage can last forever, and it can be enjoyable. You do not have to be one of the ones whose flame fizzles out over time. You can do things to intentionally make sure that you enjoy your marriage and not just endure it!

I hope that the few things that I have shared with you have been helpful! I am believing for you to experience marital bliss long after your wedding day has successfully passed! Know that it will take intentional work, grace and love. Until next time…happy February!

Christy Jones, also know as

Coach Chris, is an improvement coach for leaders and helps them break free from feeling overwhelmed and prepares them to take their teams to high levels of performance. Contact her at www.beginmonday.com.

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