I forgive You by Jackie Howard

Published by Under His Wings National Ministerial Alliance, Inc.

Called to a ministry of service

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, King James Version. Copyright (In-progress) 2005

Apostle Jackie Howard would like to thank: My husband Pastor Nelson for his faithfulness and commitment and unconditional love he has shown me

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I Forgive U (Un-Deserving) Psalm 66-18 If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me:

A gift you give to an un-deserving person, place or thing

Published by: Under His Wings National Ministerial Alliance Inc. Price $7.00 2

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Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror, “what do you see” By the eyes of the Spirit, please tell me Have I changed or am I the same Am I walking in the light or still lurking in the night Does His glory shine through me or, Am I weak, please tell me Tell me mirror please be true. Only His will, I want to do T’s my desire to be free; If only my past would stop haunting me My life’s a circle going round and round Topsy, Turvy and up side down The devil is a liar! I must be free Loose me now and let me be; by the authority and Power given me Here I am Jesus standing before thee Just as I am without one plea, I know your blood was shed for me Wash me, clean me, and purify me Again I turned to the mirror to see God’s glorious Power working through me The yoke destroying Power that breaks feathers and chains I’m no longer bound but free in Jesus Name Mirror Mirror, what do you see; I see a conquering child of God standing before me I see the majestic brightness of the presence of God Angels descending like heavenly doves From Glory to Glory I do see the Spirit of the Lord is resting upon thee Written by Apostle Jackie Howard 3

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A Word From The Author I was sitting on my bed one night and the Lord spoke to me saying, “Forgive them”. Of course this startled me, because I thought to myself I don’t have any unforgiveness in my heart. Throughout my life I’ve had many ups and downs, which I felt had been dealt with. During the years of illness I had a lot of time to do inventory of my life. Often wondering if I had done anything to displease God, which brought this illness upon me. I thought to myself, I pray on a daily basic always asking the Lord to forgive me for my sins, even those I might not be aware of. I said, “Lord has anything crept in that I’m not aware of”? I know I love the Lord with all my heart. I thought, “Who or what Lord do I have to forgive”. I remembered when I was waiting for my new heart, the Lord ministered to me continuously. I refuse to give up hope and some way, some how I knew the Lord would deliver me. On October 22, 2002 the Lord miraculously prepared a new heart for me and once again a new life and a new determination to live only for Him. I promise the Lord I would guard this new heart with everything in me. I would not allow anyone or anything to cause hurt to this new heart. Yes I’ve had some trying times that I felt I had handled. But once again broken in tears on bending knees the Lord showed me my new heart and yes there was unforgiveness there. I immediately talked with the Lord; this one thing had followed me over into my new life. Once and for all I had to face it and deal with it. I really felt in my heart that they didn’t deserve to be forgiven because to me their life had not changed. The Lord spoke once more saying “There you go again judging people and holding it once again in your heart”. The scripture says not to judge anything or anyone before the time. It’s never to late for the Lord to make a change. I Corinthians 4:5 Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God. 4

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You see once you are ready to forgive and forget your forgiveness is not based upon the state or the condition of the one receiving the gift. The gift is for you to be free. Forgiveness releases you from the things or persons holding you hostage. Mentally you’re tied to the unforgiven dead or alive, events past or present. You must let it go. The Lord said if you regard equity in your heart your prayers wouldn’t be heard. I realized I couldn’t afford interference in my prayer life I needed to keep an open channel with the Lord. I cried out to the Lord and thanked Him for showing me myself and loving me enough to speak to my heart. Why don’t you do the same and allow the Lord to speak to your heart and give the gift of forgiveness so you can be totally free. This book is for anyone ready to embrace there next level. Whatever, whoever is holding you hostage “Loose them now and let them free and say; “I Forgive U” (Undeserving)

I Forgive You A Gift Especially Designed For U (undeserving) Un-1, A prefix meaning “not,” freely used as an English formative, giving negative or opposite force in adjectives and their derivative adverbs and nouns (unfair; unfairly; unfairness; unfelt; undeserving; unfitting; unworthy; unheard-of; un-get-at-able), Un-2, A prefix freely used in English to form verbs expressing a reversal of some action or state, or removal, deprivation, release, etc. or to intensify the force of a verb already having such a meaning Deserve To merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, Punishment, etc.) Because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve Charity, To be worthy of, qualified for, punishment, Recompense, etc.:

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When we look at this definition it pretty much describes all of us. The Bible tells us that we were all sinners saved by His grace. Forgiveness is the greatest gift of all, which saved the world. For without it we would all be lost. Why not give the gift that keeps on giving. (Forgiveness) Romans 5:8-9 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Forgiveness The Gift That Saved The World Psalms 130 1-8 Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD. Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications. If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared. I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning. Let Israel hope in the LORD: for with the LORD there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption. And he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

Forgive 1. To grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve. 2. To give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.). 3. To grant pardon to (a person). 4. To cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies. 5. To cancel an indebtedness or liability of: 6. To pardon an offense or an offender. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Syn.1. See excuse. 3. Absolve, acquit.

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“What Happened” Forgiveness (The Persons, Place or Thing, God & Yourself) Why did this have to happen to me? I didn’t deserve this, how will I get pass this. This thing will stick in my mind forever. Why me? Why did they have to use me for their adventure? Who can I tell; oh I’ll just keep it to my self, people will say I’m a fool. Oh, I am a fool, why did I open myself up like that. I will never forgive them for this, no way. My life will never be the same. Oh God please help me I hate them I hate myself. Why did you let this happen to me? God, It’s all your fault, you said we should love and trust everybody. Now look what’s happened to me. How can you fix this Lord, just tell me how. I wish they would just die and be out of my life forever, but no I have to look at them everyday. How can I do this, I want to just die. I’ll change my job and move to another state where no body knows my name. What’s the use the memory will still be there, I hate myself, I hate myself. I’m too easy and to nice I just let people walk all over me and this is what I get. Well I hope they felt it was worth it. It will be hard for me to trust another person as long as I live. Lord please free my mind I’m being tormented every night. I’m rehearsing this in my dreams over and over again. I’ll never be free. Please Lord; tell me what must I do. I need help for myself forget about them they don’t deserve to be helped. They are nothing but liars, backbiter, malicious and deceitful people with a perverse heart. They don’t deserve to ever be loved and trusted again. Please Lord I’m ready to be free, what must I do. Lord here I am, I surrender, broken and kneeling before the Lord they began to pray this prayer. Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom comes. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who have trespass against us And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. 7

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Are You Ready To Forgive Psalm 86:5 For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy Unto all them that call upon thee.

Forgiveness is something that can’t be accomplished with an unwilling heart. The heart, soul and spirit of the man must be ready in order for true forgiveness to take place. I know we have this saying that I will forgive, but I won’t forget. This statement is what we call an oxymoron, for in order to forgive you must forget. Forgetting is what removes the hurt from the heart concerning the incident. As long as the enemy can hold your memory hostage he will cause you to replay the incident over and over again. The scripture says the Lord is good and plenteous in mercy, which was demonstrated at the Cross of Calvary, as He took on the sins of the world and yet He was without sin. Jesus was an innocent man willing to die for a sin sick world. Every one of us was and is covered by his blood for sins committed past and present. And yet we who were forgiven are not willing to forgive. Does this story above sound anything like you? Yield it over and let it go, no matter the situation, how long it’s been. Today is your day for liberation, no longer will you hold on to past hurts, give it to Jesus let Him carry it. Forgiveness is available to all who call upon the name of the Lord. There is a balm of healing, which is released in the heart once we come clean with the Lord and ask Him to forgive us of our sins. Many times in our lives we commit sins willing and un-willful yet we know in order to remain in right standing with the Lord we must go to the father and ask Him to forgive us. The Psalm writer goes on to say, Give ear, O LORD, unto my prayer; and attend to the voice of my supplications (an act or instance of supplicating; humble prayer, entreaty, or petition.) At this point the writer is letting himself go by yielding his heart, body and soul over to God. By releasing and crying out to the father concerning the dilemmas and concerns of life the healing balms begins.

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In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: In the time when I need you the most. Those moments when I feel so alone when friends and love ones don’t understand. I call on the Lord for thou wilt answer me. The assurance is in knowing if I call upon the name of the Lord He will answer me. You can’t afford this type relationship to be interfered with by holding things in your heart towards people. This is why forgiveness is a gift we give to undeserving people places or things. The hurt and the pain is real even the incident isn’t fictions but nevertheless (nonetheless; notwithstanding; however; in spite of that), we must let go. What a blessed hope and a joy Devine when we know in whom we believe. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrew11: 1) Put your faith to the ultimate test and prepare your body, soul and spirit to forgive. Keep your channel clear so you can always come clean before the father. Forgiveness will do this for you. No matter what we are going through or how tough it seems the door to the father is always open.

Worship The Door To Forgiveness Psalm 22:27 All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the LORD: and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.

Among the gods there is none like unto thee, O Lord; neither are there any works like unto thy works. Worship is universal and a mandate from the LORD. He has entered into a holy covenant with the Body of Christ. He commands us to worship. All nations whom thou hast made shall come and worship before thee, O Lord; and shall glorify thy name. Worship is a word of action, which demands response from the believer. To worship means to offer your heart felt expression to the LORD, thanking Him for who He is. Eulogize 1. To praise highly. 2. To speak or write a eulogy about. Extol, laud, commend, and panegyrize

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To worship allows us to express our love and appreciation to the father… For thou art great, and doest wondrous things: thou art God alone. What has He done for you lately? Can you really afford to blemish your heart with unforgiveness? As you enter into worship your heart will surrender to the Lord and as you lift your hands out of your mouth will come “I Forgive You”. The entire stronghold will be loosed and His presence will be set free. Whom the Lord has set free is free indeed. You ever notice when your mind is bombarded with the cares of life you are unable to hear or receive instruction well. The enemy (inner-me) wants to keep you distracted and unable to focus on the goodness of the Lord. By holding you hostage in your pain and despair he’s able to deposit thoughts of low self worth and lack of love and concerns for you, yourself and love ones and even the things of God. But once your heart is clear you can cry teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name. Teach me Lord to acknowledge your need and the leadership of the Holy Spirit. I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore.

“Lord teach me to forgive” Forgive, Forgive and Keep on Forgiving Luke 17:3-5 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.

Lord I am tired of being a target to people always scandalizing and ostracizing my name. It seems like all I ever hear is negativity coming out of the mouths of people. It seems like the love of many have waxed cold. We are living in the end of days when mothers against daughters, Fathers against sons, wars and rumors of wars. 10

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There is such a spirit of division in the families and the body of Christ. No one has anything good to say about anybody. Lord only you can heal our land. I’m like the disciples “Lord increase our faith”. I know for a fact that it is hard to look at some one with a smile when they keep abusing and misusing you. Love covers a multitude of sin and the Bible tells us that it’s by love that people will know that we are disciples of Christ. When you forgive them and then they do it again. You must know that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. You must continue to focus on God’s love. How long do you keep forgiving? Jesus said seventy times seventy in other words, as long or as much as it takes.

I Don’t Hear You Mark 11:25-26 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father, which is in heaven, forgive your trespasses.

When you stand praying forgive… We must honor God at all times. We come before His presence with thanksgiving and a sincere heart. One of the things that He promises us heaven and earth will pass away but His word will stand forever. The Lord doesn’t work against Himself and He won’t go against His word. God is not a man that He should lie. David said, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Our hearts must be clean when we come to God in prayer. Ought express our moral obligation to be free of malice, hatred, resentment and any other thing that would replace the love of God in our heart. God is a jealous God He wants all of your attention. The Lord is saying give to others what you are expecting to receive from Him. In order to get you must be willing to give. Reconcile yourself with your brother or sister before you go to the altar. If it is possible go to those who have wounded you and express your hurt and the bible says if they repent then you forgive. But He takes it even further and commands you to forgive anyway. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath.

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Forgiving and Giving Luke 6:37-38 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

This very familiar scripture you always hear us quote in regards to giving. In order to receive you must first be a giver. When we think of people who are givers, we generally think about people with good hearts. Those who do missionary work, feed the hungry, visit the sick, and give a good offering. But the greatest giver is the one that gives unconditional love and forgiveness. We often judge others according to their actions, many times the person is acting out of there hurts and pains. This is of course not to condone ones actions. We all need to accept responsibility for what we do. The Lord made provisions for us by extending His grace and mercy towards us. If God judged us while we were in our sinful state we would have been condemned. When we give forgiveness it is then returned back to us. There is none perfect; Jesus looks out over the crowd as He writes on the ground. John 8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

There is a saying that bad things happen to good people. This is a true statement. People live their lives asking the question (“what did I do to deserve this”). We don’t always understand why certain things befall us. The older people use to say “we will understand it better by and by”. I know you say by and by never came for you because you still don’t understand. This is not an easy subject to address, but life must go on and we are given strength to move beyond our hurts. Make up in your mind today that I must let it go, I can no longer live out my life with hurts and pains. Become a giver and give the gift of life and release the person or thing that hurt you and “Forgive”. 12

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The Enemy Is Out To Destroy You II Corinthians 2:10-11 To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.

We must understand that this is one of the enemies biggest devices is unforgiveness and division. Unforgiveness separates us from God and those we love. Our love is tested when we learn to love unconditionally. People are hurting because they are unforgiven, even those on death row some would like the opportunity to be forgiven. Homes, marriages, friendships and relationships all destroyed because of unforgiveness. People do things to spite one another, family grudges held for generations. Feuds going on and no one know why. You are angry with someone and now you want everyone you know to angry to. This disease is spreading like wildflower. We must gain the upper hand. We have been made aware of the enemy’s device. Don’t let him take advantage of you. I beseech you mother, father, sister, brother come back home don’t allow unforgiveness to separate your family. Come let us reason together, who is the greater among you? The one who forgives?

I Confess, Release and Forgive I John 9-10 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Now I’m Free at last, I Can Live

I FORGIVE U

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