Fever Dream
42
The boy wakes up tired and with a mild headache. He didn’t get much sleep the night before. He considered going to a doctor because of his constant sleep deprivation, possibly caused by insomnia, but deep down, he knew that part of the problem was his crazy amount of schoolwork. He went to school, talked to his friends, and came home. He would say “hi” to his parents and then go straight upstairs to bury himself in his laptop. He had always thought that he didn’t pay his parents enough attention, but he had to get his work done. He had to. There was no way to succeed other than working hard; that was what he was raised to believe. He had to be successful and to do this, he would work and study, and work and study. He would go out with friends when he could, and he loved to play video games, but he was almost always in his room when he was home. Seclusion didn’t bother him whatsoever; it almost felt normal. It was his life. After doing whatever he was doing, whether that be work or games, he would try to fall asleep. When he would eventually get down for the night, he wouldn’t dream. His brain was too overworked for such imagination. Eventually, and for no reason, he would wake up in the middle of the night. He would always wonder why he couldn’t sleep but he knew that it was because of what he was doing to himself during the day, both physically and emotionally. Even though this jarring experience was happening every night, he did nothing to change his lifestyle because it was just normal to him now. The constant sleep deprivation and headaches were just part of his life. Fogginess clouded his mind, making it hard to look outside of his current situation, but his thoughts were just clear enough to read the article that his teacher had assigned for that night or take that quiz that seemed so crucial at the time. It was almost like he was trapped in a daydream, but it seemed so real. His schoolwork was just piling up and no matter how long he spent on it, the flow of papers, projects, and tests would just never stop. Even when summer came he would still be working on school. AP work, summer reading, and clubs that were meant only to boost his resumé consumed his vacations. This never-ending cycle was just a part of who he was and how his life seemed to be. He did not question it, he didn’t even understand why he put up with it. He just did. It seemed like life to him, preparing for a future that seemed so unrealistic and far away that it became second nature and not thought out desire. He thought back to when he was sick earlier that year. He had the flu and remembered how vivid and realistic his dreams were. He ran a fever every night that he had one of these dreams. The waking up in the middle of the night did not cease. Time felt like it was standing still when he would wake up the next morning, yet it would continue. He would do the same routine, get dressed, brush his teeth, try to stay off his phone as much as possible, drive to school. Every morning this is what happened. Without even a second
