Area of Effect, Issue #8 by Area of Effect

AREA OF

March 2017 • Issue 8

EFFECT Blowing up geek culture FEATURE

GANDALF AS THE LEAST OF THESE Without Gandalf acting as the humble advisor, there would have been no victory. p. 16

COMICS

DEADPOOL’S UNLIKELY, PERFECT LOVE

Right from the beginning, Deadpool lets you know he is "no hero." p. 18

7 WAYS TO MESS WITH YOUR PARTY Are you ready for the next step on your journey as a Dungeon Master? p. 10

HIGHLIGHTS

The Lord of the Rings • Dungeons & Dragons • Deadpool • Star Wars • Buffy the Vampire Slayer • The Princess Bride • Lego Batman • Noragami • Trigun • One-Punch Man

AREA OF EFFECT EXPLORING GEEK CULTURE THROUGH MORALITY, SOCIAL JUSTICE, PHILOSOPHY, AND FAITH.

MARCH 2017, ISSUE 8 Publisher | GEEKDOM HOUSE info@geekdomhouse.com Founder | KYLE RUDGE kyle@geekdomhouse.com Executive Editor | ALLISON BARRON allison@geekdomhouse.com Designer | WAYSTONE CREATIVE allison@waystonecreative.ca Staff Writers | Dustin Asham, Michael Boyce, Matt Civco, Casey Covel, Kevin Cummings, Sheela Cox, Victoria Grace Howell, Alex Mellen, Kyla Neufeld, Charles Sadnick, Dustin Schellenberg, Jennifer Schlameuss-Perry Contributing Artists | Matt DeMino, Otis Frampton, Joni Wagner, Joe Hogan (Joe Hogan Art), Gwendolaine Cover art | “Gandalf the Grey - Figures of Middle Earth" by Matt DeMino Back Cover art | “Saruman the White - Figures of Middle Earth" by Matt DeMino ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: allison@geekdomhouse.com Area of Effect magazine is published four times a year in September, December, March, and June, by Geekdom House, Winnipeg, Manitoba. To read more articles online, visit www. geekdomhouse.com. WEBSITE Read our articles online at www.geekdomhouse.com FACEBOOK Like our page at facebook.com/geekdomhouse TWITTER Follow or tweet at us @GeekdomHouse INSTAGRAM Follow our posts @GeekdomHouse ABOUT GEEKDOM HOUSE: Geekdom House is a non-profit organization based in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. The mission of Geekdom House is to be a faith-filled community with fanatics of sci-fi, fantasy, comics, games, and more. Geekdom House is an organization under EQUIP CANADA (BN: 889540738RR0001).

Mara Jade, a Redeemed Villain When Timothy Zahn first introduced Mara Jade in Heir to the Empire in 1991, he could not have foreseen her popularity. She has become a fan favourite. 2 • AOE MAGAZINE

contents

by Casey Covel

A Quiet Suffering

by Victoria Grace Howell

Losing Star Wars to Legend by Charles Sadnick

SCI-FI

ANIME

Anime Plots Badly Described

Apocalypse? We’ve All Been There by Michael Boyce

Mara Jade, a Redeemed Villain by Kevin Cummings

FANTASY

Blood, Curses, and Power in Middle-earth by Matt Civco

Gandalf as the Least of These by Kyla Neufeld

Remember the Duel with Westley by Charles Sadnick

COMICS

Deadpool’s Unlikely, Perfect Love by Dustin Schellenberg

Lego Batman

by Jen Schlameuss-Perry

MISC.

7 Ways to Mess with Your Party by Sheela Cox

42 Ways to Say “I Love You” in Geek by Casey Covel

AOE RECOMMENDS

3 The Lord of the Rings-themed Video Games by AoE Staff

3 Books to Read After The Lord of the Rings by AoE Staff

8 AOE MAGAZINE • 3

D N A L S I N A N IS

A M T A NO B

by Jen Schlameuss-Perry

about time he makes himself emotionally available. Alfred has been there all along, acting as a father to atman is a loner. He’s the Dark Knight, moving Batman after his parents died, and now Alfred feels through the shadows and being a vigilante all that it would be Batman’s best interest to do the same over the place. Even when the Justice League was for another in the same situation. Funnily enough, offormed (partly by his design), he didn’t want to be tied ten when we care for others, our own wounds end up down by the responsibility of belonging. The LEGO healing (I got that wisdom straight from the Bible—IsaBatman Movie is a hilarious and exciting exploration iah 58:8). At first, Batman sees Dick as an expendable of Batman’s desire for solitude and his need for comacrobat that he can use to accomplish a mission, but panionship. as soon as they are out and about, BatIn his famous poem, John Donne man’s fatherly instincts kick in. He really BATMAN IS HIS said, “No man is an island.” Batman, as does desire closeness, and it is adorably OWN WORST Alfred points out, not only lives on an natural to him. island, but has formed himself into an Alfred and Barbara become willingly ENEMY BECAUSE island by pushing everyone away. But, huentangled in fighting the bad guys—and man beings need relationship, were even HE REFUSES TO there are a ton of those in this movie, as specifically created for it, and so in his whole Phantom Zone had been empALLOW HIMSELF the attempt to be entirely self-sufficient, he tied into Gotham by the Joker to get back makes his Siri-like supercomputer into at Batman for not valuing their relationTO FEEL. somewhat of a friend. He chats with it as ship. All the best villains were there! Sauhe’s fighting crime—mostly giving directions—and then ron, King Kong, the Daleks, Voldemort, villains from it chats with him upon his return to the Bat Cave. The bunches of cool Lego playsets (squee!), so Batman was computer is sort of like his “Wilson” from the movie going to need a lot of help. He appreciated having the Castaway—Batman doesn’t realize it, of course, but he help, enjoyed the teamwork, and loved his new combuilt himself a companion that cannot die and that he can control to suit his desired level of intimacy. Any Batman fan knows that the root of his desire to be alone is the tragic loss of his parents; they were murdered in front of him as he helplessly stood by. That’s the root of all that he does and all that he is. When he saves the city from pretty much every single member of the Rogues Gallery in an opening scene, he retreats to his island and ponders the last family photo that he has, talking to his parents, and believing that they would have been proud of him. It’s the pain of losing them and his helplessness in that moment that prevents him from being able to open up to any other relationships. To risk love is to risk pain, and that’s too much risk for him. Distracted by Barbara Gordon’s good looks upon his first glimpse of her when she’s introduced as the new Commissioner, Bruce Wayne accidentally adopts Dick Grayson. He is dismayed later when Alfred tells him that his “son” is waiting to meet him, and that it’s

4 • AOE MAGAZINE

panions, but was gripped by fear of losing them like he lost his parents, and so he pulled back. Well, sent them away from the danger. When questioned on this decision, he’s challenged—was he really trying to protect them as he said, or was he trying to protect himself from grief? One of the reasons I love Batman almost more than any other superhero is that I identify with his fear of intimacy and his struggle to succeed in the midst of that battle. I don’t have the scars Batman does, but I still find myself extremely guarded in my relationships. The vocation to family life is the most holy, most formative vocation that God ever made; it’s also the BATMAN BUILT one that requires the most vulnerability and HIMSELF A commitment. Those COMPANION THAT two things are scary to someone who has HE CAN CONTROL trouble trusting that they TO SUIT HIS DESIRED can be loved and won’t rejected. Batman’s LEVEL OF INTIMACY. be parents didn’t leave him by their own will, but it’s not uncommon for children to feel abandoned by their parents when they die. And when you’ve suffered loss on a huge scale, like Batman did, being open to experiencing that kind of loss again can be terrifying. Batman had a choice to make. He couldn’t defeat the contents of the Phantom Zone by himself, and by being closed off to love, almost became a member himself. He wasn’t sure he had the courage to let himself be loved. The Joker, in his disappointment at Batman’s denial of his impassioned hate for the Joker, tells Batman that he’s right; he’s not Batman’s worst enemy—Batman is his own worst enemy because he refuses to allow himself to feel. Well, as all good hero movies, love wins out, Batman gathers a crime-fighting family around him and becomes happier and more effective. It seems silly to think that something as natural as belonging to a family can be heroic and require great courage, but for many people, it does. We’re all born into families, and most people choose to make their own when they are grown. But to make myself truly available and vulnerable is another story. Like Batman, I often prefer to hide behind my computer, or keep those who would be my Alfreds (what I wouldn’t give for a housekeeping, meal-cooking butler!) at an arm’s length. I retreat into my Bat Cave to

avoid real intimacy. Intimacy comes with the risk of rejection and loss, and there’s nothing more intimate than family life. My family sees me at my best, worst, and everything in between. If I can build a culture of trust and acceptance, and allow myself to risk being loved, my family can also be a source of strength and support, helping me to defeat my foes as well—even my worst foe, myself. w

MOVIES • TV SHOWS • MUSIC MORALITY • SOCIAL JUSTICE FAITH • LIFE • PHILOSOPHY • MES • ANIME • COMICS SCI-FI • FANTASY • VIDEO GA

This is the podcast you’ve been looking for.

AOE MAGAZINE • 5

Screenshot from Noragami

A QUIET SUFFERING by Victoria Grace Howell

appiness is more attractive than sadness. This was an idea instilled into me from a young age. No one should know my problems, so I should hide them behind a smile and dodge answers when someone asks how I am. Growing up, I tried my best to keep up appearances. When my friends were on the way over and my dad had just been verbally abusive, I had to mask my feelings. If a friend called on the phone, I tried to cover the fact that my dad was bullying my sister in the background by moving to a different room. On the way to church, I had to listen to my parents scream at each other, then dry my tears and sing in worship and read Bible verses like it never happened. But it did happen, again and again and again, and it hurt so deeply. Pretending everything was okay was destroying me. Lady Bishamonten is a very tenderhearted god of fortune in the anime Noragami. She has taken in more regalia (former wandering spirits now bonded to a god) than any other god, giving them a home safe from phantoms. When a regalia sins or feels negative emotions, it affects their god, therefore one of Bishamonten’s spirits, Kazuma, urges his fellow regalia to hide any bad feelings they have for one another. The regalia disguise their fears, sadness, and worries behind smiles. But instead of creating an area of peace, this incites even more discord as they tried harder and harder to cover up how they feel. Eventually, these bottled feelings poison Lady Bishamonten. Ironically, their attempts to stop a problem only made the problem worse. Despite the aching pain inside me from my parents’ bad relationship and my father’s verbal abuse, I never talked about it. During a youth camp, everyone rooming with me shared their testimonies. After hearing all of these tales of dodging abuse and rape, stories that seemed much worse than mine, I didn’t think my problems were worth telling anyone. When I had to quit fencing, my fencing teacher, who was normally a gruff and strict man, looked me in the eye and asked me if I had trouble at home. I could have said something then, because someone was finally asking me outright what was wrong; but I didn’t because I was scared and I didn’t want him to see me differently. I wanted to keep up appearances and I didn’t want someone to pity me or think less of 6 • AOE MAGAZINE

me. I wanted everyone to think my family was fine and everything was normal. All of these evasive maneuvers didn’t help. The problem never went away. It got worse and worse. When my parents divorced, I couldn’t keep in all of the anger, fear, and despair I felt, and it plunged me into a deep depression that lasted for a year. I felt as poisoned as Lady Bishamonten. Kazuma: “No matter what we must continue to smile for our lady’s sake. That’s what I’ve always taught our family. Always. But now we have disgraced her once again.” Hiyori: “Are you sure that really helps? Seems like it must be tough. It sounds like Bishamonten handles things a lot differently than Yato. He has no trouble complaining whenever he’s in pain.

eowyn

Continued on page 9

3 FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW

• She lost both parents before her tenth birthday, one to battle and one to illness. • Her alias, "Dernhelm," translates as "Hidden Protector." • Actress Miranda Otto struck real blows in the film's fight scenes to make them realistic.

"Eowyn" by SeiryuArt

ANIME PLOTS

CASEY COVEL

BADLY DESCRIBED

our friend finally asks you the most dreadfully exciting question in the entire world: “What’s [insert your favorite anime title—possibly mispronounced] about?” Like a would-be author suddenly faced with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to pitch the publishing company of her dreams, you have about 15 seconds to sell your curious questioner on the most sugoi anime ever (potentially, their first anime ever). This could be their gateway to the medium—the beginning of their lifelong pursuit of all things otaku; the beginning of feels and final forms and chimera memes…! No pressure, right? You could recite the plot synopsis that you memorized from the back of your Blu-ray collector’s edition box set… or you could give them a hook so weird that it’ll haunt their memories until they binge watch. These anime summaries may not make the best elevator pitches, but they might just be… different enough… to snag the attention of that special someone you’ve been pestering for the past two years. Can you guess these badly described anime? Answer key is on page 9.

A hunchback with a sugar obsession tries to stop a college student with a potato chip obsession from writing in his diary.

who has ever read his favourite author wants to kill him, including his favourite author.

8 9

While screaming and zip-lining, an angry German kid takes on a tribe of deformed, naked cannibals who won’t let him go to his basement. A mercenary (who somehow manages to smoke more often than the barrel of his gun) teams up with a cross-dressing King Arthur against a failed artist, a starving student, a bug addict, a Catholic, the recipient of the 1994 Worst Father of the Year Award, and that professor you had in college, in a battle to the death over a wine glass.

An unemployed bald guy, who punches stuff and goes to the supermarket for fun, escapes his midlife crisis by swatting a mosquito… naked. In a world where coffee is the obvious answer to world peace, a bookworm discovers that everyone

A kid has a mental breakdown and can’t hear piano music when he plays it anymore. No, he’s not deaf, his hearing’s fine. It’s just when he plays music, he can't hear it… for some reason... Just watch it; you’ll cry. An orphaned hobo trespasses on a family’s property and then turns all the guys into animals by hugging them. Christian Bale has a hair-dyeing disaster that can only be fixed with a heart transplant.

A shor—er—vertically-challenged boy pays an arm and a leg to see his mom, and nobody has a happy Father’s Day. A wanted hippie stops a preacher from killing things with a rocket-launcher. AOE MAGAZINE • 7

LOSING STAR WARS TO LEGEND by Charles Sadnick

icture this scene: a short, scrawny Korean boy with glasses sitting on a bench in a middle school locker room, talking nerd stuff with a tall, gangly, bushy-haired classmate. Day after day, we’d broach topics like Japanese film adaptations of fighting games, whether dinosaurs really could be made from mosquitos trapped in amber, and how there was this great game called Doom, but it required a boot disc. Of all these conversations, though, the most significant one to me was when my friend told me there was an “expanded universe” to Star Wars, novels that pushed the stories of our heroes further. I swore to myself that he was lying. He had to be, right? There couldn’t be more Star Wars, could there? Of course, there was more. So much more. I asked my parents to take me to a local bookstore and bought the very first novel I ever read for personal reasons, Heir to the Empire. That book, and the rest of Timothy Zahn’s trilogy, blew my mind. And that was that—my love for reading and my obsession over Star Wars was sealed. So you might understand why I felt like I was being tortured by force lightning when Lucasfilm announced that the EU would now be called “Legends.” Legendary stories are those relegated to myth and folk tales, to narratives that might have been true but probably weren’t, or else were so mutated over the years that they only match the historical fact in bare bones. No longer was there a Mara Jade Skywalker, nor the Solo twins. Grand Admiral Thrawn has returned through Rebels, but doesn’t bring with him ysalamir or the clone C’Baoth. And Chewbacca didn’t die; Han did. I was distraught and bitter, but I also felt as if I had lost control. What I grew up loving was no longer canon, no longer true. How could Disney do this? Move over George Lucas, Palpatine-Emperor Mickey was now in charge.

All this lack of control over a situation reminded me of when I visited Korea a number of years ago. I made meticulous plans about where I wanted to visit and what I wanted to buy, but I was limited by my poor Korean speaking skills and further by the itinerary my relatives impressed upon us. I had zero influence over my situation. At first, I was constantly on-edge, snapping at family and frequently nervous about where we would go next and what we would do. Thankfully, it didn’t WHAT I GREW UP take long for me to understand that I needed to calm LOVING WAS NO down, be kinder, and just LONGER CANON, enjoy the vacation. I let go NO LONGER TRUE. of the checkmark lists of sites I wanted to see and just trusted in those who guided me. And so I was able to enjoy the rush of the high-speed KTX rail; shop at popular districts in Seoul; eat sea cucumbers and other delicacies at hidden restaurants; take in the view of the historic DMZ at the border with North Korea; stroll along a beachfront while winter snow floated down; climb mountain steps into beautiful Buddhist temples to drink from their clear, icy springs; and experience teeth-chattering cold on the heights of Mt. Seorak. My plans of continuous sight-seeing were wiped away and replaced by a more memorable and emotional experience. I found something better when I stopped trying to control something I couldn’t and just let those wiser than me lead the way. And so I reminded myself that there was reason for this positively Palpatine-like move by Disney; it was

“A Quiet Suffering” continued from page 6

And Yukine’s not usually shy about sharing his feelings either. That can lead to a whole lot of bickering but I like that about them. It’s sweet. You can tell they’re actually close to one another. More family than friends. But Bishamonten and her regalia are quietly suffering to keep up appearances. Isn’t that sort of hard on everyone?” Quietly suffering. That’s what I did for years. It wasn’t until I started making a point to voice my pain that I felt relief. I talked about my hardships to others. I talked about my pain to my mother and my sister and because of that we grew closer. When I admitted this pain to my best friend and she revealed her own suffering to me, we sealed a bond that has lasted us years. Our feelings shouldn’t be expressed to everyone, but to the people closest to us, we don’t need to hide. Smiles are important. They help us display happiness and laughter can help sadness lessen for a moment, but faking them isn’t a resolution for problems. Pretending my feelings don’t exist won’t make them go away. Appearances are not worth our relationships, nor our mental health. Happiness isn’t meant to be a cloak for sadness. Smiles shouldn’t be used to hide our blights. w

had placed him after the events of A New Hope. From Heir to the Empire to Heir to the Jedi, I had come full circle, from a middle school kid to an adult, from a fan of Lucas’ vision of Star Wars to Disney’s. And in that positively Jedi-like concept, I learned something practical: letting go can be a good thing, especially if what you’re turning over goes to someone wiser than you, whether it be to family, colleagues, or a certain animated mouse. w

galadriel 3 FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW

• Galadriel is over 8,000 years old. • She was named Artanis (Noble Woman") at birth. Celeborn called her Galadriel, which means "Maiden Crowned with a Radiant Garland." • Cate Blanchett took on the role of Galadriel in the movies because she wanted pointy ears.

"Galadriel" by SeiryuArt

AOE MAGAZINE • 9

Answers to "Anime Plots Badly Described" - 1) Death Note 2) Attack on Titan 3) Fate/Zero 4) One-Punch Man 5) Tokyo Ghoul 6) Your Lie in April 7) Fruit Basket 8) Howl's Moving Castle 9) Fullmetal Alchemist 10) Trigun

all in preparation for the new film, one I had waited for all my life. I decided to put my trust in J.J. Abrams, who would have been my top pick for a new trilogy, and in Disney, who seemed to be doing so many things right over the last decade. Then the day came. I lined up, sat next to all the other nerds, and experienced The Force Awakens for the first time. And I was absolutely and altogether LETTING GO blown away. In two hours and fifCAN BE A teen minutes, the I felt GOOD THING. resentment for losing the EU was sliced away. Episode VII took me to places both familiar and new, and I could not have been more thankful. Today, it still stings a little when I walk down the sci-fi aisle at a bookstore and look at how many Star Wars novels have been retconned under the Legends banner. The last time I visited a bookstore, I flipped through several, and then put them back, feeling a little sad knowing that these stories “never happened.” But then my eyes caught a glimpse of a more recent book, one that was part of the new canon. I read a few pages and I was hooked. I came home with that novel, Heir to the Jedi, hungry to read more about Luke Skywalker and where the revitalized universe

by Sheela Cox

"In Flight Snack" by Matt DeMino

o you’ve been running a few sessions and have a pretty good handle on how this whole DM-ing thing works. However, your players are also getting a good handle on how the game works. In the routine of gameplay, you have lost the element of surprise and can no longer catch your players off guard. They’ve started to predict your every move! While I disagree with the “DM vs. Player” mentality, I do enjoy messing with my players from time to time. This is a fun list of strategies I have used in my Dungeons & Dragons games to make things more… interesting. There’s nothing wrong with freshening up a stagnant session and adding some surprises.

Conduct early planned skill checks. There are two kinds of skill checks in D&D: spontaneous and planned. Spontaneous checks are in-the-moment actions that your players initiate without prompting from you. Planned checks are ones that you, the DM, initiate and don’t require action from your players in order to happen. These planned checks are where your control lies. You have prepared for them and the players don’t need to know why you ask for them. The results do not need to be immediately obvious. For example: You know that a monster will attack one of your players at night. Ask all your players to make a will save well before nightfall and then continue through the day as though nothing has happened. It hasn’t… yet.

Hide the results. Most of your players will get to the point where they start predicting the results of your skill checks. It’s obvious whether a player leaps across the chasm or falls to his death, but whether the thief noticed the treasure in the corner can be a mystery. If the thief’s player knows he rolled low, he will advocate to try again and again until he finds something. If you make the roll for him in secret, the player has no idea how well he did and must roleplay only on what you have told him.

Consider your phrasing. When you announce the results of a skill check, particularly ones involving the senses, phrase it so that your players are unsure whether they succeeded or failed the roll. For example: “You don’t think you saw anything.” You believe he is telling the truth.” “He seems friendly.” “You think the room is safe.”

Set and break patterns. Finding patterns and making assumptions are things most players are good at. The scary, dark cave is probably an evil lair because the past three were. Spiders are always evil and should be burned with hellfire. Trapdoors are always trapped. Coins from barrows are always cursed by dead people. Sometimes I like to set my players up to make assumptions about something, and then throw in an exception.

Let your players mess with themselves. Sometimes, you just have to encourage a misconception and let your players do the rest of the work. Your own players can be a wealth of resource when it comes to messing with them. For example: A player finds a locked door. As the DM, you know this door can only be opened from the other side, but the druid has convinced herself it must be something magical and important.

Be specifically insignificant. Everyone who’s ever read a book knows that when the author goes into great detail about a character, location, or object, it’s probably important and should be remembered. You can use this to your advantage. For example: spend five minutes describing the third chair on the right at the King’s dining table and your players will be convinced it’s an important plot piece. At best, your players will set out on the Grand Quest of the Chair. At the very least they will spend ten minutes interrogating the baffled king about his chair. Win-win for you.

Roll the dice whenever you feel like it. Your players will soon learn that when you roll your special DM dice behind the Screen of Authority, something is about to go down. This is the perfect chance to create paranoia in your players every time you roll. It doesn’t have to mean anything to you but it will certainly mean something to your players. Shuffling some papers or flipping through a rulebook adds extra tension to this tactic. When the DM goes to the rulebook, the players know something big is about to happen. Grab a pencil and write down random WHEN YOU ROLL YOUR numbers. They will have great sig- DICE BEHIND THE nificance as your SCREEN OF AUTHORITY, players scramble THEY ASSUME to unlock their meaning. Finally, the ultimate move SOMETHING IS ABOUT that will strike TO GO DOWN. fear into any player’s heart; ask to see their character sheet. Then smile and hand it back. Continue to throw sinister glances their way for the next ten minutes until they slide under the table in a trembling pool of gelatinous goo. Now, “Fly, my pretties!” Run your next session with a maniacal cackle and sly grin. But in all the fun you are having while messing with your players please remember: this list is best used in moderation, as the party will get frustrated if they know they are constantly being messed with. The point of any role-playing game is for everyone to have fun, and that should never be compromised! w

“Sauron: War of the Last Alliance” by Matt DeMino

CURSES OF BLOOD IN

THE LORD OF THE RINGS by Matt Civico

iddle-earth is a bloody place. The generational struggles of elves in the First Age, the War of the Ring, and even the adventures of a certain handkerchief-less burglar are all bloody stuff. Blood isn’t just for wetting swords, though; blood tells us something about who we are. But it doesn’t have the final word on who we’ll be. Middle-earth holds two tales that reveal the powerful pull of blood. In the First Age of Middle-earth, the elven prince Fëanor created jewels of unsurpassed beauty called the Silmarils. Fëanor was the greatest of the elves; he was exceedingly beautiful and unsurpassed in skill and understanding—he knew it, too. It was his pride that drove him to swear an irrational oath of vengeance against anyone who withheld the Silmarils from him after Morgoth, the dark enemy of the elves, stole the Silmarils and murdered Fëanor’s father. But the bur-

THE LORD OF THE RINGS-THEMED VIDEO GAMES

As recommended by AoE staff

den of blood tends to outlive its source; Fëanor’s sons nursed their own pride and took up the oath as the mantle of their house, following their father to war: “They swore an oath which none shall break, and none should take, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not . . . vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Vala, Demon, Elf or Man as yet unborn or any creature, great or small, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should hold or take or keep a Silmaril from their possession.” (The Quenta Silmarillion.) Pride was the weakness in Fëanor’s blood, first exploited by the subtleties of Morgoth and then passed on to Fëanor’s sons. When pride demands its right and blood is spilled, a cycle of vengeance begins. This isn’t simply a magical invention of Tolkien’s, it’s also the biblical story of the fall of humanity—it’s a curse

MIDDLE-EARTH: SHADOW OF MORDOR An open world actionadventure game that takes place between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, the game centers on Talion, a ranger who was killed by the Black Hand of Sauron.

humankind lives with. But like Adam and Eve, Fëanor and his sons brought the curse on themselves. The curse now invoked, Fëanor leads a host of willing elves out of their blessed land and kills other elves in his pursuit of Morgoth. They bring the battle to Morgoth’s stronghold in Middle-earth where Fëanor completes his fall. He breaks ranks and ARAGORN’S charges his enemy with overconfidence. Cut off RECOGNITION OF support, Fëanor is HIS WEAKNESS GIVES from surrounded by balrogs and dies, but his folly is HIM THE HUMILITY carried on by his sons. TO SUCCEED Fëanor’s blood—with its weakness—continues. His curse consumes both him and his family, causing suffering not only for them but those around them. While this tale falls from grace into darkness, there is still hope to be found in Middle-earth. Ages later, a more familiar character must struggle against cursed blood passed on from his forbearer. Aragorn is Isildur’s heir and the rightful king of Gondor. He ran from his birthright for years, ran from who he was because of who he came from. The films present a telling exchange between Arwen and Aragorn, where she reminds him: “You are Isildur’s heir, not Isildur himself. You are not bound to his fate.” Aragorn responds: “The same blood flows in my veins. The same weakness.” This isn’t pessimism; it is true knowledge of self. Aragorn feels the same temptations of power that Isildur did when he kept the ring for himself instead of destroying it. The path of Fëanor and his sons was to double down on the pride which brought on the curse in the first place. Aragorn’s path takes a more unexpected turn and demonstrates that blood needn’t decide who we’ll become. Where Fëanor led an army across the sea, kin-slaying along the way, Aragorn elects to serve in the Fellowship of the Ring. In the drama during the War of the Ring, he submits himself to a will other than his own and faithfully acts as rearguard until the fall of Gandalf thrusts him into leadership. Fëanor swears vengeance, but Aragorn forswears his life to protect the Ring and, more importantly, the ringbearer. Aragorn’s recognition of his weakness gives him the humility to succeed where other bearers of this curse fail. Like Gandalf, Aragorn says I dare not when faced with the Ring’s tempting offer of deliver-

ance because he knows his own weakness. Both Fëanor and Aragorn, curse-bearers, fulfill their oaths at the very gates of a Dark Lord. Blinded by his pride, Fëanor rides out in a vainglorious charge where he is overcome by his confidence as much as by the balrogs. Aragorn’s march on the Black Gate of Mordor appears equally vainglorious at first glance, but that’s the point. Morgoth’s successor, Sauron, thinks Aragorn is just another arrogant human marching to his death. In doing so, Sauron is undone by his own pride and lust for power. With no hope of victory through his own might, the king stands willing to give up his life for the only hope he has: that embracing weakness will finally break the deadly cycle of pride and power. If Aragorn is strong, it is only because he recognized how weak he truly was and placed his hope outside himself. Acknowledging that he is not the hero of his own story is a hard lesson, but one that breaks curses. w

THE BATTLE FOR MIDDLEEARTH II

WAR IN THE NORTH

A real-time strategy game divided into Good and Evil Campaigns, you can help Glorfindel defend Rivendell and Middle-earth or destroy the Good forces in the North with Sauron.

shelob

3 FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW

• She is the offspring of Ungoliant, an unholy spider beast that was so terrible the Dark Lord Morgoth needed to be rescued from her by balrogs. • She spun her webs in the Mountains of Shadow long before Sauron built Barad-dûr. • Her death was never confirmed.

"Shelob's Stare" by SeiryuArt

An action role-playing game depicting a trio of adventurers in their attempt to defend the north of Middle-earth, meeting familiar faces from Frodo's journey along the way.

by Michael Boyce

APOCALYPSE? WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE

aybe it’s the recent American election, but I’ve been thinking a lot about the end of the world. This is not the first time in my life that my thoughts have been preoccupied with this. I recall when I was young, maybe 12 or 13, hearing about some preacher in the US who had proclaimed that the world was going to end. I remember my father, who was travelling on that appointed day, telling me, “I don’t know if it’s going to happen or not, but if Jesus comes know I love you.” This incident only occasionally comes up in therapy. As someone who grew up at the tail end of the Hal Lindsey, A Thief in the Night brand of evangelicalism, I certainly remember an apocalyptic tone to some of the sermons I heard, but that was the only time I can recall, as an impressionable teenager, wondering, “Is this it? Is the world as I know it going to end?” Since then, various prophecies about the coming apocalypse have come and gone. Some people were sure it was going to happen in 2000 and stockpiled food and supplies. More reCalifornia-based minisWE SHOULDN'T cently, ter Harold Camping predicted SPEND ALL OUR the world would end in 2011 in May, then revised to TIME WORRYING (first October). I have also learned about the long eschatological ABOUT THE tradition within Christianity— APOCALYPSE. starting from the early Apostles, to the end-of-the-world cults pre-1000, to the Seventh-Day Adventists—that certain groups of Christians have been wholly preoccupied with figuring out the details. Knowing something of this long tradition of apocalyptic thought in Christianity has not made me feel less uneasy when these “prophetic” messages make the news. In fact, it’s usually embarrassing. Some group of Christians makes a big noise about the end of the world and then, when it falls flat (which it always does), the rest of us try like crazy to distance ourselves from such wild speculations. More recently my attitude about end-times has been shaped in no small part by Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a show that consciously (and frequently) engages the apocalypse as a plot device. With Whedon’s characteristic wit and acumen, the apocalypse is treated as both very serious and not-all-that serious. Each season has its apocalyptic battle, usually with plenty of post-modern self-awareness—sure, this 14 • AOE MAGAZINE

is a big deal, but it’s something we’ve faced before. This ironic distancing doesn’t completely undermine the potential danger. Characters are put in mortal jeopardy, some even lose their lives (I’m still mourning the loss of Anya). The cost is, narratively speaking, very real. It’s this fine balance—between taking the end of the world seriously and not-so seriously—that has helped me to better appreciate the apocalypse, something that is treated in the Bible as serious but not the sort of thing we should spend all our time worried about. In Matthew 24, Jesus implores us to keep watch, but only after taking great pains to remind us that no one—and he means no one—knows when it’s going to happen. Will the end of the world be some literal manifestation of the Book of Revelation? Will it play out like Left Behind? I don’t know. I’d like to say I don’t care, but that’s not completely true. I do care, but not more than living into the world here and now. w

tauriel

3 FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW

• Tauriel's name means "Daughter of the Forest." • Tauriel is a Silvan Elf (Wood Elf ), not Sindar (Grey Elf ) like Legolas. Silvan elves were thought to be less wise than the Sindar. • Evangeline Lilly accepted the role of Tauriel under the condition that it would not include a love-triangle. But when she was called back for reshoots, the studio asked for it.

"Tauriel" by SeiryuArt

REMEMBER

THE

DUEL

WITH WESTLEY by Charles Sadnick Edited screenshot from The Princess Bride

ou must be that little Spanish brat I taught a would make fat jokes, pushing him down to puff myself lesson to all those years ago. You’ve been chasing up. He and I eventually went to different schools, and me your whole life only to fail now? I think that’s when I next saw him, he had lost significant weight. about the worst thing I’ve ever heard. How marvelous.” He was also bitter and unwilling to talk to me despite Count Rugen’s response to an injured Inigo my apologies. It’s no surprise that I had a left a scar Montoya, the swordsman looking to avenge his father’s that impacted him greatly. And he wasn’t the only one death in The Princess Bride, pained me when I first I had affected— I heard years later about a girl I had heard it as a child. Would this horrible man kill Inigo, also bullied. She had never forgotten the way I treated just as the swordsman was close to achieving his lifeher. long goal? How unjust! It was difficult for me to watch Maybe I was a lot more like Count Rugen that Inigo, my favourite character in the movI would like to admit, torturing those ie, get stabbed repeatedly by Rugen, the around me for my own pleasure. I regret THE TRUTH IS, I one I most despised. my behaviour; I wish I could take it back. It’s strange for me to think, but There are other things I wish I had HAVE NO IDEA I identify quite strongly with Count done differently too, and things I wish HOW MY WORDS Rugen. Not the sadistic, child-scarring, had done rather than doing nothing. I’m torture-inventing aspects to him, but the filled with regret at what I could AND ACTIONS WILL often “Oh, I can’t believe I had such an impact have done for friends and loved ones, on you” part. Just as Rugen is surprised how I should have reached out to others IMPACT THOSE by discovering that his foe is the boy he instead of being selfish and indolent. AROUND ME. “taught a lesson to all those years ago,” Now, Facebook affords me the opportuI’ve been realizing lately that we all leave nity to see how those I once claimed to impressions—some profoundly strong—on people all care so much about have struggled with addiction and around us, whether we intend to or not. other vices. Unfortunately, just as with Rugen, some of those Though I can’t change my behaviour in the past, I impacts I’ve made are through actions that are regretcan change what I do now. My interactions with people table. around me, from acquaintances to loved ones, can As a teenager, I was a relentless bully. I thrived bear wonderful fruit as well. when I could generate laughs at the expense of others, Continued on page 19 particularly at an overweight classmate. Day after day I AOE MAGAZINE • 15

GANDALF AS THE LEAST OF THESE by Kyla Neufeld

“And last came one who seemed the least, less tall than the others, and in looks more aged, grey-haired and grey-clad, and leaning on a staff.” “And being sent back from death for a brief while he was clothed then in white, and became a radiant flame.” — Unfinished Tales

ven the smallest can change the course of the world. This theme of “the last shall become first” is central to The Lord of the Rings. Usually it’s the Hobbits who come to mind—those humble creatures who took on the great evil of Sauron (and, in Frodo’s case, the literal burden of the Ring). But there is another, perhaps less obvious, character who embodies this theme: Gandalf the Grey. Gandalf was the last of the Order of the Istari, Maiar spirits who were sent from Valinor to aid in the fight against Sauron. There were five of them: Saruman the White, the head of the Order, Radagast the Brown, the two Blue wizards, and Gandalf. They appeared in Middle-

earth around year 1000 of the Third Age. Though Sauron had been defeated at the end of the Second Age, the Valar realized that he would one day rise again. So, they sent emissaries with the sole purpose to “advise and persuade Men and Elves to good, and to seek to unite in love and understanding all those whom Sauron, should he come again, would endeavour to dominate and corrupt,” (UT, 503). The Valar intended the Istari to take the form of old men so that they would be seen as equals among Elves and Men. Their bodies were mortal, and so they were capable of feeling pain and emotion, and of being killed. They were also capable of error. WITHOUT GANDALF I’ve noticed that Gandalf seldom uses ACTING AS THE magic, usually only in HUMBLE ADVISER, cases of an emergency. This seemed odd to THERE WOULD HAVE me until I learned that the Istari were actually BEEN NO VICTORY. forbidden to reveal their true selves “in forms of majesty,” or to seek to rule the wills of Elves and Men with displays of power. They were forbidden to match Sauron’s power with their own (UT, 506). I think the Valar were wise in their ruling. Fighting power with power has the potential to lead to Mutual Assured Destruction, in which the attacker and defender try to out-do each other until they are both utterly annihilated. Or, one power will try to supplant the other and, if successful, become the new tyrant to defeat. Both cases only lead to more war and destruction. Saruman opted for the second path when he tried to take Sauron’s power for his own. He turned to the Magic of Machine by bulldozing the natural world and seeking to dominate others; we see this in Saruman creating his own army of Uruk-hai and cutting down the trees of Fangorn Forest. We also see this in the persuasive power of his voice, like in this scene, when Gandalf, in the company of Théoden, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Merry and Pippin, approaches him after the destruction of Isengard. In the book Saruman tries much harder to enthral Théoden and the Rohirrim: “O worthy son of Thengel the

Thrice-renowned! Why have you not come before, and as a friend? Much have I desired to see you, mightiest king of western lands… still I would save you, and deliver you from the ruin that draws nigh inevitably… Indeed I alone can aid you now,” (TT, 223). For a moment it seems to work; the Riders find themselves agreeing with Saruman’s words and it isn’t until Gimli grumbles something that the spell is broken. Saruman’s failure isn’t just that he was unable to take power from Sauron, but that he forsook his original purpose of aiding the peoples of Middle-earth the moment he decided to take that power for himself. But Saruman’s downfall becomes Gandalf’s success. Gandalf was a truly humble character. He wandered the earth instead of establishing a home somewhere for himself. He gathered no wealth, did not want power or praise, and did not want others to hold him in awe. But when Saruman turned to evil, the situation became too grave and something was needed to counteract him. And so, when Gandalf made the ultimate sacrifice for his mission when he died at the Bridge of Khazad-dûm, he was returned to life with more power and became what Saruman should have been: “'Saruman!’ he cried, and his voice grew in power and authority. ‘Behold, I am not Gandalf the Grey, who you betrayed. I am Gandalf the White, who has returned from death. You have no colour now, and I cast you from the Order and from the Council.’ He raised his hand, and spoke slowly in a clear cold voice. ‘Saruman, your staff is broken,’” (TT, 229). Gandalf is the only one of the wizards who succeeded in the original task given to him (even Radagast failed when he retreated to the forests and his love of birds and beasts). Frodo carried the Ring to Mordor, and Aragorn fulfilled his destiny to become king, but without Gandalf acting as the humble adviser, even when he possessed great power, there would have been no victory. Without Gandalf, the world would have fallen into ruin. w AOE MAGAZINE • 17

By Dustin Schellenberg

sually a movie lets you know very quickly who the hero and villain are, painting the hero in the best possible light. Sometimes that hero is a brooding, troubled stranger in need of love or a reluctant, gruff, loner who is forced to become the hero we know he can be. Every now and then, the hero is just a regular person who must face impossible odds and overcome—regardless of the circumstances, the hero ends up being good and the movie lets us know it. Even in a movie like Suicide Squad, where the protagonists are villains, we are constantly shown that there are other ‘bad guys’ because they keep doing good things. We can’t help but tell stories where our heroes are good, and even if the hero is doing questionable things (Captain America: Civil War, anybody?) they still have good intentions. But that isn’t the case with Deadpool. Right from this is just the first 15 minutes of the movie. But the love that forms between Vanessa and Wade is probathe beginning, he lets you know that he is “no hero” and then spends the rest of the movie being his brutal, bly the most authentic, genuine, and perfect love I’ve ever seen displayed on the big screen. They don’t fall crude, and disgusting self. The good guys—Colossus in love because of appearances; neither is moved to and Negasonic Teenage Warhead—make it very clear change or improve the other; they don’t even love what that he is not really on their side, although they leave the other person can do for them. Their love is one room for hope; the bad guys make it clear he isn’t on that embraces the other person and forms to it “as a their team either, although you wouldn’t know it based jigsaw puzzle: their curvy bits match.” on most of his actions. Rather than knowing exactly Often movies use some sort of dysfunction in where he fits, you have to decide if Deadpool is hero, love to create tension—he wants her for villain, or something in between. her body not her mind, she wants to fix Wade Wilson, a.k.a. Deadpool, is RIGHT FROM THE they can’t commit, etc. But in Deadnot a good guy. He’s a dishonourably disBEGINNING HE LETS him, pool, there is no sexual dysfunction to charged black-ops soldier with several confirmed kills and a bad habit of using YOU KNOW THAT HE create drama, because the love they have for each other is rooted in a love his considerable repertoire of vulgar that gives and expects nothing in return. and disgusting language to offend those IS “NO HERO.” It is the kind of love that drives Wade to around him. Now he’s a mercenary for seek out some way to extend his life and deal with his hire who will do whatever someone asks (for a price). cancer, not because he is afraid to die, but because his He has no qualms about breaking into someone’s suffering is “a #@$show that he would never invite her house, robbing them, threatening a teenaged boy, or to.” That’s the kind of love that decides to do whatever spending the money on a prostitute. it takes to make someone hurt less because they matAt this point in the movie, many viewers made ter more than anything. up their minds that Wade was a straight up villain. Often sacrifices in relationships are used to But for me, this is the moment where the beauty of acquire what we personally want. For example: I eat this movie can be found—in the selfless love between more veggies so you’ll quite annoying me, you shovel Deadpool and Vanessa. the driveway so I’ll rub your back, we both spend more You’ve got no argument from me that Deadpool than we wanted to on a meal we didn’t really like and is not a good guy. He suggests his cab driver murder then sit through a movie we hated in hopes of getting his love rival and then stiffs him for the cab fare, kills something at the end of the night. And many of us more people than he has bullets for, punches a good have seen a thousand rom-com’s that play out exactly guy square in the nuts, and uses more swear words like that. than Samuel L Jackson has in his whole career… and 18 • AOE MAGAZINE

Other times, love is used to manipulate and coerce someone to give you what you want; Kilgrave was a great example of this. He was obsessed with Jessica Jones and loved the idea of her loving him, but he wasn’t about to change his nature. And then there are cases like Harley Quinn, whose dream is that she can change the Joker. But all of that is a self-serving kind of pseudo-love because it seeks what the self wants rather than what uplifts the couple. But the love that makes a bad guy become a better guy because he wants

to make a better world for the one he loves, that is truly redemptive. All the decisions Deadpool makes are to make a better life for Vanessa. He endures tremendous torture to spare her loss and then pursues Francis relentlessly in order to be worthy of her. And the best part of it is, the love she felt for him made him worthy in the first place. In the end, Deadpool is a hero in my eyes, but not because he killed the bad guy, saved the girl, or even became an anti-hero, but because he was willing to love unselfishly and be redeemed. w

“Remember the Duel with Westley” continued from page 15

There’s a long lapse between Inigo’s fight scene with Westley near the beginning of The Princess Bride and the next time we see him, inebriated and depressed. But his spirit returns upon the discovery of the six-fingered man’s whereabouts. The only way Inigo can achieve his goal is to remember the duel with Westley. We might not think of a duel as a positive encounter, but the swordsmanship that Inigo witnessed, the feats of strength against Fezzik, the intelligence with Vizzini, and the compassion Westley displayed convinced Inigo that Westley would help him do what is just. And ultimately, justice is served, but only because of a chance encounter where two men were kind to each other, even though they were in a mortal fight and would never expect to see each other again. My life, too, has been impacted by these little encounters, conversations that I didn’t know would be so meaningful, often with people I would rarely or never see again. There’s the guy who played basketball with me when I was young, and who showed me how to compete with integrity; the cousin who stepped aside from her teenage life to babysit and buy me a beloved set of toy cars; the older gentleman, suffering through illness and battling addiction, who blessed me more than I could him, even though I was leading a group that meant to minister to him; and a classmate whose joyous attitude encouraged me to simply smile more. These relationships, some altogether brief, caused me to be kinder, care more, and sacrifice harder. The truth is, I have no idea how my words and actions will impact those around me, but I do know that a lot of what I do will touch others in some way. Those moments of kindness are instances of love. I refuse to be a Count Rugen in anyone’s life, not anymore. I’d much rather be Westley—after all, the only thing cooler than a masked pirate is a masked pirate who demonstrates what it means to show wuv. True wuv. w

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AOE MAGAZINE • 19

MARA JADE, A REDEEMED VILLAIN by Kevin Cummings

here was a time when Mara Jade had it all. She was a favoured agent of Emperor Palpatine, called by the title “Emperor’s Hand.” She enjoyed a life of privilege, which included a personal starship, a droid companion, and private quarters on Coruscant. All she had to do was carry out the Emperor’s will. Acting on Palpatine’s behalf, she eliminated corrupt Imperial officials, Jedi who survived Order 66, and anyone else the Emperor deemed worthy of death. Although few in the Empire knew about her, they would have been jealous of her if they had. She was, after all, advancing the Empire’s interests. Then Luke Skywalker and the Rebel Alliance ruined everything. When Palpatine died at the Battle of Endor, Mara’s life crumbled. She blamed Skywalker and made it her life’s ambition to kill him. It seemed like the right thing to do. When Timothy Zahn first introduced Mara Jade in Heir to the Empire in 1991, could not have foreseen her NOT ONLY IS SHE he popularity. She has become a fan favourite and has appeared FLAWED AND in novels and comics well HUMAN, BUT beyond what Zahn originally SHE ALSO FINDS intended. Her backstory— which he sketched out in his REDEMPTION. novels—has been extensively documented in other stories. Ask any group of fans about her and one or two of them will likely say, “Mara Jade? She’s awesome! I love her.” Really? Why? She was an assassin; a tool the emperor used to destroy his enemies. That hardly qualifies her for “role model” status. I think part of the appeal is that she is a strong, complex character. We can identify with her struggles. She commits evil acts, but her heart sometimes betrays her and she is drawn toward the light. In other words, she is as human as the rest of us. I’ve never been an assassin or served as The Emperor’s Hand, but I can still identify with Jade’s struggles. It’s so easy to get fixated on a course of action—to feel that I’m absolutely in the right—while I’m engaged in something evil. A decade or so ago, I found myself in that situation at work. There was a conflict and I chose the side I thought was “right.” I believed that I was acting in the interests of the organization and my efforts would make

BOOKS TO READ AFTER THE LORD OF THE RINGS

As recommended by AoE staff

NINE PRINCES IN AMBER By Roger Zelazny, Nine Princes in Amber is about Corwin, a prince who has been exiled from Amber and living on Shadow Earth. His journey to take the throne is blocked by strange realities, dark creatures, and his own blood.

things better. What I really did was betray a friend and it ended very badly. It took me a long time after that to admit to myself that I was the villain of that event. After all, I’d just been doing my best, right? I hadn’t meant to hurt anyone. My goals were noble and I wasn’t acting alone. If anything, I was being brave, standing up for what I thought was right. Wasn’t I? Mara could have made the same excuses. The emperor had selected her and trained her to be what she was. Her goals were noble; she was protecting the Empire. She bravely stood up for what she thought was right. Killing Luke Skywalker was just a continuation of what she’d been doing all along—more literally than she knew. She and the Emperor had always shared a telepathic link. That was part of what made her special to him. At the instant of his death, he sent a mental order for her to assassinate Luke. Even though she wasn’t consciously aware of the order, it haunted her thoughts. While Luke was trying to build the New Republic, Mara was busy rebuilding her life. Her skills landed her a position with smuggler Talon Karrde. In short order, she became his second-in-command. Her story collides with Luke’s when Karrde rescues/captures Luke in deep space. She desperately wants to kill Luke, but Karrde forbids it. Over the course of several novels, she and Luke are forced to work together. Learning of the Emperor’s last command, Luke vows to help free her from the compulsion. He persists in helping her despite the danger she poses to his life. When she finally gains her freedom, she turns against the Empire and becomes an ally to the New Republic. Luke is able to forgive her terrible past. In time, he trains her in the Force and they eventually fall in love and get married. Which may be another reason she’s so popular

with fans. Not only is she flawed and human, but she also finds redemption. That gives us hope. As a Christian I believe strongly in the possibility of redemption. The story of the Bible is the story of a loving God who wants to reconcile with humanity. Even when we are stubborn and arrogant and willful, God is waiting to take us back. In the Catholic Church, we call that reconciliation; we attempt to make the relationship with God right again. Which, in my case, meant I had to confess my villainy—to God and to my friend. Long after the dust had settled and I had admitted that I had been wrong, we met for coffee. My friend was gracious and kind in accepting my apology. She gave me what Luke gave Mara—a shot at redemption. And though I don’t deserve it, I’m thankful for that forgiveness. w __ The Star Wars stories referred to in this article are from the Star Wars Legends canon.

arwen

3 FACTS YOU DIDN’T KNOW

• Arwen's name means "Royal Maiden." • Arwen is Galadriel's granddaughter through her mother, Celebrian. • Liv Tyler, who plays Arwen in the movies, is the daughter of Steven Tyler, lead singer of Aerosmith.

"Arwen Alone" by SeiryuArt

THE NAME OF THE WIND

THE SWORD OF SHANNARA

By Patrick Rothfuss, The Name of the Wind is coming-of-age tale of a young man growing up in poverty who becomes the most notorious wizard the world has known.

By Terry Brooks, The Sword of Shannara follows Shea, a half-elf who lives in peaceful Shady Vale until a Druid comes by to let him know the future of the land depends on him.

“TFN Celebration V Banner" by Joe Hogan

by Casey Covel

42 WAYS TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN GEEK I

t’s the time of year for Love Potions, Heart Pieces, and those three magical words. (No, I’m not talking about “Use the Force” or “Beam me up.”) Whether you’re looking for a geeky way to ask your date out to a video game symphony, or planning to print your affections on a Luvdisc-shaped Valentine’s card, here are 42 ways to say “I love you” in Geek. (Why 42? Because it’s the answer to all mysteries in the universe, of course. And love may be the greatest mystery of them all.)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

12 13 14 15 16 17 18

You’re my precious. SoH Dughajbe’bogh jaj rur Hov ghajbe’bogh ram. Hello, Sweetie.

You are the center of my mind palace. I know.

I’d volunteer as your tribute. You were expecting Dio, but it was me—your Valentine!

If you were a starter Pokémon, I’d choose you. Are you a fairy? Because you fill all my heart containers. All my base are belong to you.

I’d travel there and back again for you.

You’re my final fantasy. I’d take an arrow to the knee for you.

I-it’s not like a l-like you or aanything… b-baka—! Be my Beka/Faye/Vincent Valentine.

Ruby is red, Neptune is blue, hope I get put on the same team as you.

10 11

You’re the hero Gotham deserves, and the one I need.

When I looked in the Mirror of Erised, I saw you.

22 • AOE MAGAZINE

29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38

You’re a Natural 20, Valentine. As you wish.

When you say “yip, yip,” you make my heart fly. I’d turn down Turkish Delight for you. Fear may be a mind-killer, but your love is my heart-filler. My heart is bigger on the inside.

Will you do the thing for the rest of our lives?

19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27

Without you, who else will I have ice cream with? With you, my life is 20% cooler.

*Wookie sounds*

If I had a Blue Feather, I’d give it to you.

Ni mellye/im melale. Always.

You’re my player 2. You fill me with determination. Like a Headcrab, you’re always on my mind.

You’re the arc reactor to my heart. Hyaaaaah! Hyyak! Hyyaarrrrrhhh!

Are you Kingdom Hearts III? Because I’ve waited half my life for you.

Yer Jalan Atthirari Anni. Shekh Ma Shieraki Anni.

I have twenty-three tiny wishes, but you probably won’t remember them all, so I put them all together into one… I’d like to spend more time with you.

With you at my side, everything will go just according to keikaku.

41 42

My love for you is over 9,000!

If I were in a video game with x99 lives to spare, I’d spend them all with you.

OUR MINIONS Hungry Hobbit

Casey Covel

Keyblade Master

Charles Sadnick

Jen Schlameuss-Perry

Elvish Translator

State Alchemist

Mad Scientist

A poet and writer, Kyla first read The Lord of the Rings when she was thirteen, and has been studying Tolkien’s works ever since. She is the editor of Rupert’s Land News in Winnipeg.

Matt is doing his best to prize food and song above hoarded gold; the price of books helps a lot. His bookshelves are full of board games and Star Wars Figurines, and he teaches ESL in Montreal.

An INTJ and connoisseur of chocolate, tea, and sushi, Casey spends her free time in Florida cosplaying, writing, gaming, philosophizing, squinting at strange words, and watching Corgi videos.

When he’s not spending time in education, ministry, or parenting, Charles can be found feeding his nerd urges by streaming anime, reading A Song of Ice and Fire, or watching Star Wars.

Jen is an opinionated, mouthy girl from New Jersey who works for a Catholic Church. She loves to write about geeky topics in light of her faith, practice martial arts, and care for her family.

Victoria Grace Howell Waterbending Elf

Sheela Cox

Kevin Cummings

Dustin Schellenberg

Michael Boyce

Sheela talks to horses, loves to dance, and adores making fancy outfits. She lives with a handsome young man in her cozy home filled with books and the smell of fresh-baked cookies.

Husband and father, Kevin is a geek from birth who grew up with the original Star Trek and Star Wars. He enjoys finding expressions of God’s love in the worlds of fandom.

Dustin has a current gaming score of 77,797. He is a competent bass player and guitarist, mediocre mid laner and awful FPS player, a pastor, husband, and father from Winnipeg, MB.

Michael teaches English Literature and Film Studies in Winnipeg, Manitoba. He’s published on Hitchcock, Alec Guinness, and James Bond. And he likes coffee. A lot.

Kyla Neufeld

Victoria is an award-winning writer of speculative fiction and an editor. When not typing away at novels, she enjoys drawing, blogging, Kung Fu, cosplaying, and a really good hot cup of tea.

mattdemino.deviantart.com

Matt Civco

Dungeon Master

otisframpton.deviantart.com

Chief Engineer

joniwagnerart.deviantart.com

Rose of the Prophet

joehoganart.deviantart.com

Paranoid Android

seiryuart.deviantart.com

Matt DeMino

Otis Frampton

Joni Wagner

Joe Hogan

Seiryu Art

Cover Artist

Contributing Artist

AOE MAGAZINE • 23

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