Area of Effect, Issue #9 by Area of Effect

AREA OF

June 2017 • Issue 9

EFFECT Blowing up geek culture

FEATURE

NOT THE CHOSEN ONE in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, everyone cheers the hero while Zelda stands in the background, unchosen. p. 6

SCI-FI

COME AND GET YOUR LOVE

How Rocket Raccoon's struggle with anxiety in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 mirrors my own. p. 20

6 FEMALE ROLES ORIGINALLY WRITTEN FOR MEN p. 8

HIGHLIGHTS

The Legend of Zelda • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 • Mass Effect: Andromeda • Star Wars • Song of the Sea • Ghost in the Shell • Cowboy Bebop • RWBY • Chrono Trigger • Ender's Shadow

AREA OF EFFECT EXPLORING GEEK CULTURE THROUGH MORALITY, SOCIAL JUSTICE, PHILOSOPHY, AND FAITH.

JUNE 2017, ISSUE 9 Publisher | GEEKDOM HOUSE info@geekdomhouse.com Founder | KYLE RUDGE kyle@geekdomhouse.com Executive Editor | ALLISON BARRON allison@geekdomhouse.com Designer | WAYSTONE CREATIVE allison@waystonecreative.ca Staff Writers | Dustin Asham, Michael Boyce, Matt Civico, Casey Covel, Kevin Cummings, Sheela Cox, Julia Hamm, Victoria Grace Howell, Alex Mellen, Kyla Neufeld, Charles Sadnick, Dustin Schellenberg, Jennifer Schlameuss-Perry Contributing Artists | Joe Hogan (Joe Hogan Art), Claudia Gironi (Wisesnail Art), NateHorsfall (Lightning Arts), Vimes-DA, Night★, Quirkilicious Cover art | “Breath of the Wild's Zelda" by Joe Hogan Back Cover art | “Nebula and Gamora" by Joe Hogan ADVERTISING INQUIRIES: allison@geekdomhouse.com Area of Effect magazine is published four times a year in September, December, March, and June, by Geekdom House, Winnipeg, Manitoba. To read more articles online, visit www. geekdomhouse.com. WEBSITE Read our articles online at www.geekdomhouse.com FACEBOOK Like our page at facebook.com/geekdomhouse TWITTER Follow or tweet at us @GeekdomHouse INSTAGRAM Follow our posts @GeekdomHouse ABOUT GEEKDOM HOUSE: Geekdom House is a non-profit organization based in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. The mission of Geekdom House is to be a faith-filled community with fanatics of sci-fi, fantasy, comics, games, and more. Geekdom House is an organization under EQUIP CANADA (BN: 889540738RR0001).

Come and Get Your Love “Are you trying to make everyone hate you? Because you’re doing it perfectly,” Peter Quill says to Rocket, and he's right—Rocket seems to be doing everything to reject the ragtag family he’s become a part of. 2 • AOE MAGAZINE

contents Attack on Titan Reminds Us to Value Our Origins ANIME

by Victoria Grace Howell

by Kevin Cummings

Moving through the Pain of the Past by Charles Sadnick

Come and Get Your Love by Allison Barron

The Stigma of Jupiter's Red Spot SCI-FI

Truth at the Cost of Surrender

by Kyla Neufeld

The Forgotten Mothers of Star Wars by Alex Mellen

The Truth of Failure in Ender's Shadow by Julia Hamm

The Power of Story FANTASY

by Matt Civico

RWBY's Yang: Shaping Identity from Disaster by Casey Covel

VIDEO GAMES

Not the Chosen One

Lacking Faith in Sci-Fi by Dustin Schellenberg

Chrono Trigger: Leaving a Green Legacy by Dustin Schellenberg

Only at a Convention by Victoria Grace Howell

MISC.

by Dustin Schellenberg

6 Female Roles Originally Written for Men

by Allison Barron

3 Zelda Music Arrangements to Inspire You

3 Retro Video Games Still Worth Playing

AOE MAGAZINE â&#x20AC;¢ 3

O T S U S D N I M E R N A T I T S N I G I R ATTACK ON O R U VALUE O By Victoria

Grace Howe

Screenshots from Attack on Titan

come from a region known for ignorance and stupidi- ahead, finally breaking out into her true accent and ty. In media, residents of the Southern United States saying, “Get runnin’!” are often portrayed as unintelligent people with thick At this moment, I couldn’t help whooping for accents. I can’t tell you how many cartoons I’ve seen Sasha. For so long, she was ashamed about where with a character in overalls, a piece of wheat hanging she came from. In that moment, she remembered her from his mouth, driveling with an obnoxious southern origins and she used a bow, a weapon of the past, to drawl. Because of this stigma, in the past I’ve detestdefeat the titan. When her father rides back with fellow ed using southern words like “y’all” or villagers with the rescued girl along“buggie.” I didn’t pick up the southern side, he tells Sasha that he couldn’t THE PLACES I CAME be prouder of her. The character arc accent on purpose. Sometimes I’ve wished I was from somewhere else, so with Sasha saying to herself, “I’m FROM FORMED WHO ends I didn’t feel like I had to continuously home.” WE I AM AND WILL prove that I’m not an idiot. I’ve tried to cover up where I’ve Attack on Titan’s Sasha Braus felt come from, but the things I’ve learned ALWAYS BE A PART the same way about her humble beginin my past are a part of me and I’m nings. She grew up with her father in proud of that. I love my home. I love the OF ME NO MATTER the woods, struggling to find food that people there, the culture, and even the they hunted with bows and arrows. She WHERE I GO. environment, though at times the sumalso adopted her father’s deep southern mer heat is too much for me. People accent. When she decided to join the 104th training come from all sorts of places and I believe each place corps in the military, she changed her accent, carefully has their own unique positives. The places I came choosing her words to make sure no one knew what from formed who I am and will always be a part of me she really sounded like and thus disguising where she no matter where I go. came from. Principles I’ve adopted from my culture have At one point, one of her fellow trainees, Ymir, calls helped defeat the titans of my daily life, like Sasha did her out for “acting too nice,” accusing her of covering up with her bow. Southern politeness and work ethic has how she feels and being a fake. Another trainee named helped me get jobs. Southern positivity has helped me Krista Lenz defends Sasha, saying that she likes how endure rough times. Southern hospitality has allowed Sasha talks and that “her words are her own.” me to make guests feel welcome. Southern affection In Season Two, Sasha is forced to return to her has helped me sense when someone needs a good village to warn her people of an oncoming titan attack. hug. Memories rush back to her about her home and who No matter where I go I will always remember the she is. There she finds a young girl trapped by a titan South and how it has formed me. No matter where life and manages to help her escape from it. On the way, takes me I will use the things it has taught me to keep Sasha snatches a bow and a small cluster of arrows. pushing forward and remember the first place I called The titan chases them and she tells the girl to run home. w 4 • AOE MAGAZINE

THE FREEDOM OF FAILURE IN ENDER'S SHADOW By Julia Hamm

fter reading the novel Ender’s Game, I discov- pulling off a single win. Bean responds with the ered Ender’s Shadow, a parallel story about confession that he wasn’t trying to win, but rathBean’s journey through Battle School and the er trying to help his soldiers learn the most they war against the Formics. There was a surprising could, which would not have been possible if Bean lack of repetition for two novels that covered the had played it safe. same events; the protagonists had such differWe see the dichotomy between Ender and ent backgrounds, attitudes, and personality that Bean on a smaller scale as they both face a pereach novel told a very different story. And I was sonal enemy—fellow students who seek revenge— surprised to realize that the story I preferred was during their time at Battle School. Ender completeBean’s. ly defeats his adversary. He sees individual fights I think the main reason for my preference is not as singular events, but as a piece in a war that that if I had to choose to be one of could go on indefinitely, and choosthe two characters, I’d pick Bean. es to end the war permanently. UNLIKE ENDER, For one thing, Bean’s story has an Though he never intended to kill upward arc that ends with him gain- WHO MUST NEVER anyone, Ender trades the possibiling a family, while Ender’s continuity of future defeat for the guilt of ally dips down in fits of despair, and LOSE, BEAN HAS THE destroying the boys who sought he is finally banished from Earth to hurt him. But when Bean faces FREEDOM TO FAIL. and his family; for another, Bean his enemy, he tries only to win shows mercy to his enemies wherethe battle—leaving the war for the as Ender destroys them; and though Bean strugfuture in the hope that his enemy would learn from gles with acceptance, he eventually becomes part his wrongdoing and the war wouldn’t have to be of a team, while Ender is continually isolated. fought at all. But the biggest reason I’d rather be in Bean’s Multiple times throughout the narrative, tiny shoes is because unlike Ender, who must never Ender comes to a dead end. He doesn’t see how lose, he has the freedom to fail. This is drawn into he can continue on—everything is stacked against sharpest relief when Ender confides to Bean his him, and there is no way he can win. So he stops. struggle to remain undefeated. Bean asks him why The only way not to lose is not to play. And he it matters if he loses one game, and Ender’s reply doesn’t keep going until he’s pushed, until somespeaks of desperation: one reminds him that not to try is to concede “That’s the worst that could happen. I can’t loss. Sometimes that person is his sister, and lose any games. Because if I lose any—” sometimes it is Bean, who has always carried on, We, along with Bean, are left to speculate always tried even though he might fail, because to what the consequences could be. In Ender’s Shadgive up is permanent defeat. ow, we see Bean wonder if Ender fears the loss of Though I don’t have the survival of mankind his reputation as the perfect soldier, of the confiof my shoulders, and therefore less at stake if I dence his army has in him, or of the confidence of screw up, I’m glad there is freedom for failure in the teachers. But I think Ender’s fear runs deeper my life. I don’t have to worry that if I make a misthan just wanting to maintain his reputation. He take I’ll get fired, if I offend my friend our relationis an extremely sensitive kid, and although he is ship is over, or if I disappoint my parents they’ll never told outright how high the stakes are, he disown me. If that was my life, I don’t think I’d ever discerns on a subconscious level the anxiety that leave my room for fear of messing up—especially we, the readers, see in the teachers’ conversations. as I stress enough about pleasing people as it is. He’s picked up on their desperation, and it’s that Grace and forgiveness are available to desperation that drives him all through the book. me, not only in my relationships with the people Bean, though equally determined to be around me, but with God as well. One sin won’t successful, doesn’t seem to see individual losses get me chucked straight into hell—God forgives as a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but and redeems, giving me the freedom to try again. rather as a chance to learn. In fact, Bean begins Though I fail, he doesn’t condemn me. He underthe operation to tear down the victory-based status stands my tendency to make mistakes, and will that Battle School runs on, trading it for mutual always be there to pick me back up. I’m glad I can risk and a focus on learning rather than competifail. Knowing that I can pick myself up after I do (or tion. Whereas Ender’s Army has won every game, that I will be picked up by those who love me) gives Bean’s loses all of theirs. When Bean graduates me the freedom to try new things and live life the from Battle School, his army apologizes for not way I was meant to. w

by Dustin Schellenberg

estiny says Zelda is chosen to defeat Calamity Gannon. She was raised on the stories of her line’s power to seal his evil away and knows she is supposed to save her people from darkness. But try as she might in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, the power won’t manifest. She’s travelled to the shrines, she’s said the prayers, she’s wished with all her being that this power would just appear so she could fulfill her role as the chosen one, but it doesn’t. Her father is frustrated with the attention she gives to the ancient war machines found in the kingdom and refuses to let her focus on them rather than unlocking her power; she’s looking for something else that could save her people, because she doesn’t seem to be able to. And to top it all off, the sword that seals the darkness chose some half-mute kid rather than her. Because of her failures, the divine beasts—those that should have been able to resist Gannon—rampage across their regions causing destruction and harm. Their pilots, the heroes of each race, have died and their spirits are trapped. The guardians that were to protect the castle now patrol and destroy anyone who comes near. The world is in ruins and Link lays in stasis for 100 years; hopefully he will recover before all darkness takes the land, but his wounds were grave. Zelda had failed everyone. Link awakes 100 years after being mortally 6 • AOE MAGAZINE

wounded, weak and with no memories, knowing only what a mysterious voice tells him: that he must regain his strength and defeat Calamity Gannon. Part of regaining that strength is restoring his memories of the kingdom, and of Zelda. As the story of their preparation to face Gannon unfolds, we receive a rare glimpse into WE ARE MUCH who Zelda is. Her love for her kingdom is evident, but her deep MORE SIMILAR anger and sorrow for not being able to save them becomes even TO NPCs THAN more apparent. WE'D LIKE TO She is furious that Link follows her around and continuADMIT. ally steps into danger to protect her. Every time he draws the Master Sword, she’s reminded of her failure. Everyone cheers the hero while she stands in the background, unchosen. But as she lets go of her hurt and sets aside her anger, she begins to see Link not as the usurping hero taking her place, but as part of the chosen ones who will seal away the darkness together. Zelda’s fault lies in assuming that she is THE chosen one. She thinks everything rests on her shoulders, but the truth is she is just one of the chosen. Others have been chosen as well, including Link, Urbosa, Daruk, Revali, Mipha, each of their counterparts in this present time and a host of others. All that pressure, all that expectation—

it was never meant to be caron my shoulders. I isolate myself in my struggle and atried by Zelda alone; it is meant tempt to hold, not only my own pain and struggle, but to be carried by them all. others’ burdens as well. I say yes to everything and run Most of us grew up myself ragged. Then when I am near exhaustion and hearing we could be anything long to rest I feel selfish. Yet around me are amazing and do anything. The books people who love me, care about the things I care about we read and the games play and would love to work with me to do greater things cast us as the hero. Yet, as we than I can do alone. When I ignore them and take all reach adulthood, we quickly that weight on myself, I rob them of being part of great discover that not only are we things with me. Because we only accomplish truly not THE hero, but that we are great things in community. much more like NPCs saying Zelda’s language subtly shifts in the game from the same boring her first memory to her last. In the early lines day in and ones, she stands before a shrine saying EVERY TIME LINK day out, stuck she will work out a way to open it rathin a day/night than ask Link to help. She tells her DRAWS THE MASTER er cycle that is so father she is doing “All I can” to make predictable we her power manifest and even yells at SWORD, ZELDA'S don’t even have the statue of the goddess, desperately REMINDED OF HER to think about seeking the answers to what is wrong it to maintain it. FAILURE. EVERYONE with her. But at the end of the game, This can lead she says: “There is still CHEERS THE HERO to frustration, so much for us to anger, sadness do, and still so WHILE SHE STANDS and a deep many painful depression that IN THE BACKGROUND, memories we will never that UNCHOSEN. do anything of we value; that we must are not heroes. bear . . . but if we all The thing is, we aren’t work together we can the hero of the world. We restore Hyrule to its former aren’t the one who will save glory, or even beyond.” Zelda everyone and everything. We goes from everything being can’t keep our families safe, we aren’t destined to be about her and placing the millionaires, we won’t dramatically change the world weight on herself, to seeing on our own. Like Zelda, we may put the weight of that everything is about the world on our shoulders and be crushed by it. Or community, and sharing we can find comfort in knowing that there is no one the weight of mourning hero among us, rather we all have a role to play in the and rebuilding. It took heroic tale we find ourselves part of. Like threads in a her 100 years of tapestry, each one of us has a critical role, not to paint suffering alone the whole scene, but to work with everyone else to desperately make a beautiful picture. A tapestry of a single colour hoping for her might be striking, but one of many colours weaving in to realize this; and out is truly beautiful. I’m hoping it This is a tough lesson for me to learn. I often takes me a take the weight of everyone and everything and put it lot less. w

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6 FEMALE ROLES N E M R O F N E T IT R W LY L A IN IG OR

By Allison Barron

en might be the harbingers of action and combat in many sci-fi movies, action shows, and video games, but some writers are stepping up to challenge these notions. Taking over a role that was originally intended for a man is one way to break the mold, and make us wonder why we need molds in the first place, since so many are lying about in pieces at these women’s feet. Samus Aran, Metroid The plot twist at the end of the first Metroid game reveals that the person in the armour (who you’ve been kicking ass with so far) is, in fact, a woman. But a lesser known fact is that the game developers hadn’t planned this surprise from the start and decided to add it in halfway through development, creating one of the most iconic women characters in video games today. “It is true that in developing the original Metroid, we were partway through the development processes when one of the staff members said, 'Hey, wouldn’t that be kind of cool if it turned out that this person inside the suit was a woman?' —Yoshio Sakamoto

Toph Beifong, Avatar, the Last Airbender Known as the tiny blind girl who can throw boulders around with her earthbending prowess, this Avatar: The Last Airbender star was originally intended to be a large, muscled jerk. They even allude to this in the episode “The Ember Island Players,” where Team Avatar attend a play about their journey so far, and Toph is portrayed as a buff man. She was meant to be a foil for Sokka’s nerdiness and a potential love interest for Katara. “Bryan and I conceived of Toph as a tough, brash, blind teenage boy who would become Aang’s Earthbending teacher. As we began the writing for season two, Aaron Ehasz suggested making Toph a girl... Now, I can’t imagine Toph any other way.” —Mike DiMartino

H.G. Wells, Warehouse 13 Warehouse 13 takes us for a spin of awesome when H.G. Wells turns out to be a woman, much less an inventor genius and former Warehouse agent. Playing on the gender inequalities during the Victorian era, the man commonly referred to as “H.G. Wells” was actually her brother, and the stories he wrote were all based on her adventures and ideas. “As a woman, she wasn’t even allowed to write under her own name. And then she meets Myka, and she’s like, “Oh, thank God. I’m not completely alone in the universe.” —Jaime Murray

8 • AOE MAGAZINE

Lara Croft, Tomb Raider If it hadn’t been for Lara Croft, theTomb Raider games would have looked like Indiana Jones rip-offs. She is one of the first female protagonists in an industry filled with gun-wielding male leads (and you can thank the slip of a designer’s hand for her bodily proportions, which all the men in the design studio at the time certainly did). “Looking to get as far from Raiders of the Lost Ark as possible, Gard suggested bumping one of his female character designs up to the lead role. At the time, females in games existed mostly as victims or hostages… nobody even considered asking male gamers to play as a girl.” —IGN

hearts.

Karsi, Game of Thrones Game of Thrones is no stranger to women of steel, but deciding to change a male fighter to not just a female, but to a mother, created large-scale emotions that nothing else could have. Her inability to fight the children of the dead squeezes the cockles of our

“She was a guy originally, and then somewhere in the process we thought it might be cool if she were a mother, and show her sending off her own kids to make that moment with the corpse children really resonate emotionally.” —Miguel Sapochnik

Starbuck, Battlestar Galactica Yes, Starbuck used to be played by a man. Yes, Dirk Benedict, the actor for Starbuck in the original series, ranted about his character being taken over by a woman. But Katee Sackhoff took on the role with such a cocky, feisty, and sometimes berserk manner that we really can’t complain. “Taking cues from the original 1979 series, in which the character was a man, the female Starbuck is a cocky, promiscuous, pugnacious troublemaker (and the aforementioned talented pilot). She’s also not delicate. Starbuck has short, blunt hair and visible muscles for most of the series, and she usually doesn’t wear makeup or style her hair or clothes.” —AAUW

Screenshots from The Song of the Sea

E V LO 'S R E H T O M A D N A Y R THE POWER OF STO

ometimes it can seem like up. I remember the stories and the moms are made for missing. songs—and I hope my mom does Any child who has ever lost too. This nightly ritual of storytelltheir mom in the mall knows this; ing lasted through several Harry those who have lived through the Potter books, and even though I death of a mother are also familiar could’ve read them myself they with that feeling. While I’ve tearfulwere something we enjoyed sharly lived the former experience and ing. We visited enchanted lands, it’s unlikely I’ll avoid the latter, The invented voices, and turned pages Song of the Sea reminds me of the with anticipation. And whenever hope I share with my mom, a gift I was scared or sad, she had a she gave me through story. song and a prayer ready for me. Come away, oh human child I can’t claim to understand a loss to the waters and the wild like Ben’s, but by experiencing with a faerie hand in hand her support, I understand what for the world’s more full of weep- I’d be missing if she was gone; I’m ing than you can understand. thankful for the all bedtimes she’s The Song of the Sea tells the faithfully presided over. story of Ben, a young Bronagh’s unboy who must deal with expected disappearTHE POWER OF the loss of his mother. ance from Ben’s life Ben is the son of Conor, STORIES ISN’T is traumatic and so a soft-spoken lighthe hoards mementos BOUND TO INK house keeper, and the of his mother, mostly storyteller, Bronagh. in a book where he AND PAGES. She paints stories of draws her stories. selkie and the giant He also broods Mac Lir on the nursery walls Ben over how poor a substitute a mute will soon share with his sister. sister is for his missing mom. Ben Bronagh is also a singer of songs cocoons himself in memories and and she introduces him to the song regards Saoirse with the unveiled of the sea on their last night togeth- hostility of a hurt child. His grief er, playing it on a seashell horn. robs Saoirse of the big brother Ben Ben cherishes the horn and guards should be; the one Bronagh told it jealously after Bronagh’s death Ben he would be. giving birth to Ben’s baby sister, Bronagh’s faerie tales are Saoirse. a clear reminder to Ben of their Bedtime was actually one time together. Quite understandof my favourite times growing ably, Ben clings to these tales.

By Matt Civico

He rehearses them in the faint hope of meeting his mother across the words, but he refuses to share them with his sister. When he does it’s only to frighten her, weaponizing his pain. Hope is not far off, however, and the truth the tales hold will carry Ben past grief and into a life that is fuller and brighter, in spite of what he’s lost. The power of stories isn’t bound to ink and pages; the voiceless wisps of faerie are at home in the city as on the wild coast. So, when Ben and Saoirse are banished to the continued on page 11

"RWBY-Yang" by Night★

RWBY'S YANG:

SHAPING IDENTITY FROM DISASTER By Casey Covel

At the time, I had no idea it would be my only flashback of the incident, just that it was my first. And eath feels like a roller coaster,” I remember that worried me. thinking during a heart-stopped moment. In RWBY Season 4, Yang has a similar experiI had rushed out the door, ten minutes ence when she accidentally shatters a glass, triggering late to class, brushed off my mom’s hug—too busy to a traumatic flashback from the Season 3 finale. waste three more seconds—and sped out of the driveUnlike the other three members of her war-torn way with speakers blazing. A few minutes later, the team, Yang’s developmental arc features no physical car in front of me stopped—a bit too quickly. I ground fights with fanged monstrosities or deadly assassins. to a halt behind it. An instinctive glance in my rearHers is a battle of the mind, where suddenly her view mirror revealed an F250 twice as tall as my little reliable fists hold no sway—largely because she’s lost Buick Century barreling toward me. one of them to a villain’s blade. I’ve always related to I tore my gaze away from the mirror, determined Yang’s tomboyish mannerisms and physical strength, to ignore the impending disaster. I thought, “It’ll be but especially to her golden optimism. She powers fine. Bad things only happen to other through every setback on a smirk and a people—!” of a better tomorrow. In Season IT’S EASY TO GET glimpse A sonic boom exploded inside my 4, though, as Yang idles away in front car. Howard Shore cut off mid-crescendo. COMFORTABLE of the TV and numbly occupies herself My seat hit the floorboard, then threw me with chores, it’s clear that she can’t see a WEARING THE against the steering wheel, along with a moment beyond her next footstep. rain of glass. “Sometimes bad things just hapBLINDERS OF The moment the world stood still pen,” Yang tells her sister, in an excuse GUILT AND FEAR. to keep unbearable blame from crushagain, I forced my jammed door open with a kick fueled by adrenaline. Taking ing her broken spirit further. No doubt stock of myself for injuries, I realized I was fine. Every- Yang replays the fatal fight in her mind, wondering if one else involved in the accident was fine too. a moment’s thoughtful preparation (or even running The next day, I drove to college, just a little away like her best friend Blake) could have helped her more cautiously than usual. Whimsically reflecting on survive the battle unscathed. It’s a trap I found myself the harrowing incident as I headed for class, I made looped into for days after the wreck—wondering if I myself laugh at the way I had been worried about could have avoided it if I hadn’t looked down from my the wreck ruining my “cosplay face” and how my old mirror like a coward. “Tank” had remained true to its namesake to the very Yang’s understated anger is all that keeps her end. moving during her steep depression, and her excuses Then someone nearby slammed a bathroom are the fuel it thrives on. Even when gifted a priceless door. Hard. prosthetic arm of cutting edge technology, Yang refusIn the space of a blink, I saw that F250 racing up es to accept it and move forward. behind me at 45mph, felt the blood rush to my gut in pan“I lost a part of me. A part of me is gone, and it’s ic while euphoric vertigo flipped me heels-over-head, and never coming back,” she finally tells her father. heard a crash like a mountain collapsing in my ears. While Yang’s arm had been replaced, her secu-

“D

10 • AOE MAGAZINE

rity was gone. Similarly, I didn’t feel safe behind the wheel of a car anymore; I lost the confidence I had that the next truck to pull up behind me would stop short, and the thought that any friend or family member out on the road wasn’t a second away from mortal danger. Eventually, though, I realized that I had to accept whatever I couldn’t change as the status quo. It’s easy to get comfortable wearing the blinders of guilt and fear, looking through the narrow, non-threatening tunnel they bring. Taking off the blinders means more than facing my fears, but also facing the stigmas surrounding them. With my impenetrable “bad-things-only-happen-to-other-people” defense shattered, I am left unable to keep those “other people” at arm’s length if I am to be a good steward of the hardship I have endured and use it to help those around me. This means being vulnerable about my experiences and willing to change or at least question my perspective. There was a time when I resisted diving too deeply into others’ pains, as though their “bad luck” were contagious. I didn’t want to dirty my hands with their difficulties. I wanted to stay in the dark and feed off my optimism at the expense of reality. In hindsight, I’m grateful that F250 wrecked my pride and priorities, along with my Buick. A few months later, I was able to assuage the fears of a close

“The Power of Story" continued from page 9

city, they aren’t cut off from the seaside magic of their mother. In fact, they’re thrust into a shared story—their mother’s story. Ben and Saoirse’s adventure is essentially a journey home by bus, through reality and myth. So far from the song of the sea, Ben is faced with a Saoirse who’s overcome by sickness; she is slipping away. He steps up to face both his fear and bitterness, and he grows up and begins to love in equal measure. Bronagh’s stories give him the tools he needs to discover the truth, save Saoirse, and find closure. The stories are the interpretive lens through which Ben can rightly navigate the world—which is full of beauty and danger. Bronagh gave Ben her stories: a way of looking at and living in the world. My mom never left for the sea, but she gave me a similar gift. She read to me, she sang to me, and she prayed with me. This combination of faith and story has been a lens of truth in my life, turning birds into friends and my enemies into future brothers and sisters, provided I pray for them. The power of stories isn’t bound to ink and pages. Just as the wind of the Spirit blows where it wishes ( John 8) so the wisps of faerie whisper to us of truths unseen, but hearing the stories comes before living the story. In a world more full of weeping than I can understand, my mom couldn’t have given me a better gift. w

friend who had endured a similar crash. The discussion brought us closer, breaching topics my secretive nature likely never would have touched otherwise. In time, I was able to think about my crash without it raising my hairs, churning my stomach, or causing me to reminisce about the “good old days” of blissful naivety before the accident. I shaped the wreck into a part of my identity—not out of an anger to “beat it” or out of a desperation to bury it—but out of a genuine desire for it to make me a stronger person, more equipped to connect with the struggles of others and search for answers from my soul, loved ones, and God. In an episode appropriately titled, “Taking Control,” Yang paints her metallic arm the colors of her original golden gauntlet—making it her own—and finds the motivation she needs to finally begin the search for her missing mother—a search Yang might have never undertaken had both her arms still been intact. “It’s not as heavy as I thought it’d be,” Yang says, turning over the freshly-attached prosthetic arm. “It feels surprisingly natural.” Today, the memory of the 2014 car crash is neither heavy nor unnatural. It belongs to me. It was, in some ways, a gift to me—to raise me to a level of awareness that 25 years of a safe driving record never could. w

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AOE MAGAZINE • 11

By Kevin Cummings

n the live action version of Ghost in the Shell, Mira Killian believes she understands her purpose. She and her parents drowned when their refugee boat was sunk by techno terrorists. Her parents’ deaths were final, but Mira is granted a second life through the miracle of robotic technology. Her brain—the only salvageable part of her original being—was implanted in a new robot body. Motivated by her own tragedy and a desire to stop future attacks, Mira works tirelessly for the anti-terrorist bureau called Section 9. Within a year, she’s promoted to the rank of major and responds more readily to her rank than her name. Her job is her identity. Her world starts to shift when a terrorist hacker begins killing high-level employees of Hanka Robotics, the company that built her body. While working the case, she begins experiencing glitches—brief visual hallucinations—that leave her feeling uneasy. Her creator, Dr. Ouelet, erases the glitches and assures Major that they are nothing to worry about. She also encourages Major to keep taking the medication that keeps her flesh brain from rejecting her robot body. In a reflective moment in Dr. Ouelet’s lab, Major says, “Everyone around me, they feel connected to something… connected to something I’m not.” It’s the first time that Major gives voice to the idea that she might be on the wrong path—that she might not be fulfilling her proper role. She might have benefitted from the insight of theologian and author Parker Palmer: Today I understand vocation quite differently—not as a goal to be achieved, but as a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. So long as she doesn’t really know herself, Major can’t really understand what she is supposed to do. That lack of understanding lies at the root of her feelings of disconnectedness. As the story unfolds, the glitches intensify and she begins experiencing repeated visions of a burning building. It pops up at the most inconvenient of times, like when she is closing in on the deadly terrorist Kuze.

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A moment’s distraction leads to her capture. Kuze’s goal is not her torture or death, but rather her enlightenment. He knows what she is, where she came from, and understands the emptiness she feels. He has experienced it, too. He tells her that the medicine is intended to repress her real memories and that she will regain her true self if she stops taking it. Which makes me wonder about my true self. What am I doing—or NOT doing—that is keeping me from who I should be? Since I’m a Christian, I want my intentions for my life to line up with God’s. Am I making myself busy to show God how “righteous” I am when I should spend more time worshiping? Am I substituting rules, regulations, and rubrics for living my true calling? Am I so busy judging people that I don’t make time to love and help them? Like Major’s medicine, my choices can seem to be positive when they’re actually a barrier to the life I should be living. continued on page 15

CHRONO TRIGGER So much of the game is iconic; the story, the gameplay, even the music. Each character has a unique and interesting story. Combined with a near infinite amount of duo and trio skills, your party shines. Chrono Trigger is a story about time travel that remains, well, timeless.

THE FORGOTTEN MOTHERS OF STAR WARS

s origin stories go, the Skywalker twins have it fairly rough: they were orphaned not once, but twice. When I watch Luke and Leia, it’s clear they’ve been taught good values, and I wonder how much their mothers had to do with it. I imagine how Breha Organa, the queen of Alderaan, might have mothered the iconic princess. Breha wants a daughter, not just to train as an heir, but to love. Bail would have been busy on Coruscant for weeks or months at a time, resisting the Emperor as he siphoned away the Senate’s power—hardly a safe place for a young girl. Even though Breha was queen of a whole planet, I doubt Leia was reared by droids in a lonely nursery. Leia’s title isn’t “junior senator” or “representative,” or some other role connected to the Senate. It’s “princess.” Early drafts of A New Hope name Leia as the daughter of Queen Breha, almost 30 years before her on-screen debut. Leia was brought up with all the riches and power of royalty, but she never leaned on position or influence to benefit herself. Someone taught her how to use her privilege wisely and shrewdly to help those in need. “No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons.” —Leia Organa, A New Hope During the Emperor’s reign, Breha Organa would have walked a fine line between secretly supporting her husband’s efforts with the Rebel Alliance and maintaining the values of a peaceful planet. Leia has also learned this balance. She keeps the location of the rebel base secret while being tortured, and she wields her words more skillfully than a blaster. She has made her mother’s Alderaanian values her own. “The droids belonged to her. She’s the one in the message. We’ve got to help her.” —Luke Skywalker, A New Hope When Beru Whitesun married into the Lars clan, she joined a family that believed in kindness, justice, and bravery. Her father-in-law freed Shmi Skywalker from slavery and attempted to rescue her when she was taken, after all. Beru’s not afraid of the dangers a Tatooine life brings. She embraces them for more than twenty years, and when Stormtroopers come seeking Rebel-sympathizing droids, she dies protecting her adoptive son. “There is good in him. I’ve felt it. He won’t turn me over to the Emperor. I can save him. I can turn him back to the good side. I have to try.” —Luke Skywalker, Return of the Jedi

Beru taught Luke that family is worth sacrificing for—even dying for—something Luke probably wouldn’t have heard elsewhere. Luke’s Jedi mentors never told him to fight for Darth Vader’s redemption. Obi-Wan implicitly commands Luke to kill his father, suggesting Vader isn’t even human anymore. Yoda’s vague instruction is simply to “confront” Vader in order to become a Jedi. But these masters have never known the influence of a mother’s teaching or the strength of family bonds. “Owen, he can’t stay here forever . . . He has too much of his father in him.” —Beru Lars, A New Hope Perhaps every time Owen Lars looks at Luke, he sees Anakin—the hurting, angry young man who left the woman he was supposed to protect so he could hunt for revenge. Owen would change Luke, if he could, make him more steady and reliable like himself. At the very least, he would isolate Luke and protect him. But Beru knows it's pointless to lock Luke away. Maybe her memories of Anakin from his visit twenty-three years ago are filtered through Padme’s love for the tortured Jedi. Or maybe she simply acknowledges that Luke can make different choices than his father did. Beru doesn’t try to change Luke’s destiny, but she helps him become a better version of Anakin: a wise man not driven by fear but by love. I’m not adopted, but as with Luke and Leia, you can see my mom’s influence through my life. Sometimes, the knowledge she passed on was hard-earned. My love for words started with essays covered in her careful pen scribbles saying, “Unclear,” “This isn’t parallel,” and “Too wordy.” Memories of reading those corrections come with blurry tears of frustration, but soon after, I fell in love with editing. Other wisdom came from her life experiences. I feel comfortable in my identity as a young, single woman advancing my career because of the years my mom spent in the same situation. She gives me advice on apartment hunting, job interviews, and cooking and makes me confident I can succeed at “adulting.” I’m not naturally confident or skilled. Someone else taught me and encouraged my determination to succeed. I dream of being like Luke and Leia, but when I evaluate my life, I find I just want to be more like my mom. w

OCARINA OF TIME

SECRET OF MANA

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"Chrono Trigger: Culture shock [Chronicles of Time]" by LightningArts

: R E G G I R T O CHRON Y C A G E L N E E R G LEAVING A enberg

By Dustin Schell

n How I Met Your Mother, there’s a system by which who are sustained through technology. The sky is Ted and Marshall defer difficult, painful or boring de- polluted and the world is a wasteland, deserted and cisions and tasks: they leave it to future Ted or future lifeless. But you can travel back and forth in time. You Marshal. I have adopted this language in my own life. can go back and smack the people of the past and tell Sometimes when someone asks why I’m just watching them to stop killing all the trees. Except you can only TV rather than cleaning up and I say, “that’s future go back to a few fixed times when the wasteland has Dustin’s problem.” It’s also future Dustin’s problem already begun, the world already damaged by industry. when I choose to see a late-night movie but have to The space in-between lush forest and desert is lost to get up early, when I buy something you and you’re stuck with disaster. It with credit, or when I leave sertake 1,000 years of back-breakWE ARE GOING TO HAVE would mon-writing to the last minute. And ing labour to restore the forest and then future Dustin shakes his fist in TO STOP DUMPING save the future. the air and curses past Dustin for Lucky for you, one of your travelTHINGS IN “FUTURE putting me in this situation. ling companions, Robo, is a robot (so It’s often difficult to make not the most original name but it was HUMANITY’S” LAP AND choices with the future in mind. the 90s). He agrees to stay behind and MAKE CHANGES NOW. Our society prioritizes immediate till the land, plant the seeds, nurture gratification. We buy for the feeling the sprouts and restore the forest. now regardless of the payment plan. We build things Armed with seed and time he will endure the weather, to maximize profit without thought of sustainability. the labour, and the 1,000 years to provide hope for We make things to be discarded without considering the future. So, the rest of the crew hop in the Epoch the waste it will create. That’s ‘future humanity’s’ and zip to the future, to 1,000 years later in a couple problem. As a Millennial, it’s easy to see the extreme seconds and behold, forest! And deep in that forest, housing costs, exorbitant grocery prices, mediocre job leaning against a tree, a robot, rusted by time and prospects, asbestos, and coal powerplants, shaking worn, sitting in a state of suspension. our fists at ‘past humanity’ for putting us in this situaWhen you revive him, he marvels at the year tion. It would be nice to go back there and slap those and confesses there were times it felt like the future people. would never come, but he endured. In the end, rather In Chrono Trigger, you have a chance to do that. than succumbing to the directive of the other robots The future is a bleak landscape of starving people to wreak vengeance on the humans for destroying the 14 • AOE MAGAZINE

world, he has saved the world and all our carbon emissions instantly, the humans. He’s become a hero. it would take another 1,000 years You get him all patched up and to see the temperature come back discover in his core he’s preserved down to where it should be. 1,000 a bit of sap, a thousand years of years, and we have no time-travelmemory, and with it you unlock a ling robot to save us. special move for him with some of So we are going to have to do his friends. This forestscape also it ourselves. We are going to have becomes a place for another party to stop dumping things in “future member to achieve something real- humanity’s” lap and make changes ly important to them, so Robo, with now. It falls to us to look forward his sacrifice, changes the world for 1,000 years and decide that we will the better. do the hard labour, Over the past 200 IT'S OFTEN the seed planting, the or so years, humanity life changing stuff has done a lot to our so that the future DIFFICULT TO planet. We’ve contribwill still be green. It MAKE CHOICES uted to a two degree means delaying some increase in average gratification indefiWITH THE surface temperature. nitely so that 10 or FUTURE IN MIND. 12 generations from The oceans are warming. The pollutants have now will experience mutated animals—some for the it. Some days I don’t know if I can better, some for the worse. Ice is do that. Some days I don’t even melting, plants are dying, heavy care about ‘future Dustin’ enough rain areas have become flood to help him out, so I’m not sure if areas, forests are receding as fast I can help out future-future-future as ice caps, oceans are rising, the Dustin’s grandchildren. world is changing and not much for But in those moments of the better. It’s easy to look back and weakness, I think about Robo and say, “past humanity, you’ve really that future where mankind huddles screwed us,” but that won’t change in the ruins of civilization, gasping anything. In a recent lecture by out a meager existence; I’ve seen Katharine Hayhoe, she said that if the future of deferring the cost and there were a giant switch to turn off I don’t like it. And as a Christian I “Truth at the Cost of Surrender” continued from page 12

Troubled by what Kuze told her, Major sets out to find the truth. Her quest leads her back to Dr. Ouelet who tells her that most of what she “remembers” about her old life was implanted. She and her parents weren’t on a refugee boat, nor was she the only experimental subject. This knowledge sends Major off on a new path. She needs to know who she was and how she came to be the Major. Major’s “knowing” of her true identity came at the cost of surrender. She had to give up her image of herself and accept that the truth might be different from what she had been told. In some ways, she might have been more comfortable taking the medicine and having her memory wiped. Learning the truth about ourselves can be unnerving, but it may be the best way to figure out our future. The way forward, I think, is to cultivate a dialogue of deep honesty and openness about my true self. That isn’t easy. It means taking the time to reflect honestly about what I do well and what I don’t. It probably means finding an objective person—a counselor or coach—to serve as a sounding board and give me candid feedback. I’ll have to work on humility and the ability to admit my faults. Just like Major, I’m going to have to surrender my illusions of the truth in search of the real thing. w

think about God creating mankind to care for the planet and giving us the responsibility for making a place for humanity to live and be happy and I try and change. I remember the story of Abraham, to whom God made promises and it wasn’t until generations later that they started coming true—and I choose to live for the future. I hope that because of choices I make now there will be hope and trees in the future. 1,000 years starts today. w

F RT O A E TH

JOE HOGAN

Joe Hogan is a Star Wars artist and a graduate from the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan. You can buy his prints on Etsy, check out his creations on DeviantArt, and watch his motion comics on YouTube.

etsy.com/shop/TheArtofJoeHogan joehoganart.deviantart.com youtube.com/c/joehoganart

AOE MAGAZINE • 15

Screenshots from Cowboy BeBop

“L

ook at my eyes, Faye. One (certainly not to become a gangof them is a fake cause I ster again). But Spike’s past keeps lost it in an accident. Since drawing him in. The same can be then, I’ve been seeing the past in said with the others on crew, but one eye, and the present in the there’s a difference, as each is able other, so I thought I could only see to resolve his or her past: Jet moves patches of reality, never the whole on from his former love once and picture.” for all; Ed and Ein find a permanent Spike Spiegel, the protagonist home; and Faye accepts that her of the classic sci-fi anime, Cowboy younger life has passed her by. Bebop, spends the series living in Faye’s story may be the most the present but fighting with his intriguing among the crew. She past. Formerly a violent member of was involved in a great space accia crime syndicate, Spike reinvented dent in her youth and was put into himself as a bounty hunter, partnering with AS I GET OLDER, I REALIZE THAT THERE REALLY Jet Black, a former IS NO RUNNING AWAY FROM THE PAST. cop, and picking up other crew along the way. And while cryofreeze; after being awoken, and almost every episode of the series with only fragments of her memory focuses on the present and how remaining, she enters into a life of the crew of the Cowboy Bebop try crime to pay off the unfathomable to attain bounties, certain episodes debt she has accumulated. Late in are directed toward the past, with a the series, Faye leaves her shipfinale that brings Spike into a collimates to dig into and uncover her sion course with his former life. past. Her search doesn’t end happiSpike hasn’t been running ly, but it still provides some finality away from the past, per se; he just for her and in fact, moves her back hasn’t been dealing with it. Why toward the direction of the Bebop, would he? As dangerous as his life which she now realizes is home. is as a bounty hunter, it’s still calmer That sense of home is immethan what he had in the syndicate, diately shaken when she finds that and Spike seems to feel that he’s Spike, who has been contemplating risen from the dead for a reason his own history, might be leaving 16 • AOE MAGAZINE

forever. By this point in the show, he is the only one who has yet to resolve his past. Spike hasn’t been running from it, but neither has he been facing it; it’s a part of him that he would just rather forget. I know I would like to just move on from my own history, to avoid the ugly aftermath of poor decisions I made and people I hurt in my selfish wake. I cringe at moments of immaturity from my youth, but worse than those are the decisions I made as an adult, relationships that suffered and choices made in situations I should have approached with more tact, more wisdom, more love. As I get older, I realize that there really is no running away from the past. The repercussions of my past live on in how I react to people, how I feel, and how I’ve impacted others. I used to bottle up my anger and bitterness inside until it would get the best of me. This happened once when I snapped at a neighbour about something he really couldn’t help. Although I apologized shortly afterward, that incident reminded me of a similar conflict with a roommate during continued on page 19

LACKING FAITH IN SCI-FI By Dustin Schellenberg

ne the biggest differences between science divine intellifiction and fantasy is how religion is treated. In gence behind fantasy, there are robust faith systems where all creation” the gods who interact with people and their organiza(a quote from tions do both great or terrible things; there is often an Lee Strobel). acceptance of these deities within societies. This is I read my case for calling Star Wars a science fantasy rather that line than science fiction because the Force has true power, and was its followers live moral lives and society recognizes it immediately as significant, even if some people disagree with the captivated. I Jedi mandate. The Death Star was science perfected, responded by but Vader could still Force Choke an admiral over vidsaying, “Divine call. Religion had power. intelligence, In science fiction, however, religion is usually you mean… treated with scorn, particularly in the face of science. a god?” And The crew of the Enterprise meets many new people she replied and many different faiths; often religion is failing or by saying that abusing those people, and the crew uses science to science draws help them. her closer to “something greater than [herself].” I’m Science is also king in Mass Effect. The Reapers given the option to argue with her, point out how she’s aren’t out for blood until a society becomes scientifical- foolish for believing in God and how much more enlightly advanced enough to start using Mass Effect relays ened I am. Or I can tell her that I feel the same way. and access the monoliths. In response, the first Reaper I almost held my breath as I selected that arrives and uses something called ‘indoctrination’ to response in hopes that this wasn’t going to lead to a twist and control people and begin killing others. conversation that was going to paint her as insane. Some people respond to the Reaper invasion by What followed, however, was a dialogue about seeing saying it is the judgment of God, and they are laughed God in the heavens and through science. She explains at or mocked. Faith as a response to the that she found God while rebelling against IN SCIENCE FICTION, her extremely logical, scientific family and it Reaper invasion is faced with extreme RELIGION IS criticism, though one of the Normandy’s wasn’t until she became a scientist that she crewmembers, soldier Ashley Williams, USUALLY TREATED started seeing the hand of the creator in every does profess a faith in God; Commander little thing. She came to know God as creator, WITH SCORN. Shepard is given the opportunity to discuss inventor, and artist. it with her, agree with her, make fun of her, or tell her She didn’t push a young earth, hyper literal faith to keep her mouth shut about it. that shouts against science, she instead was speaking In Mass Effect: Andromeda, this theme of sciabout the marvels found in science as the ways in which ence over religion persists. The main enemy is called God has created the amazing, intricate and beautiful the Archon, and his ranking system is straight out of worlds we live in. Every time I step on the ship’s bridge, high church. Cardinals stand as generals, the Invictus I glance at her and I am comforted because there is one are his hand of power, and the minions range from person in the Mass Effect universe who loves God and ascendant to chosen. But he is using religion in order sees Him within the world of science. to abuse people and hide scientific gene therapies to More and more I read about scientists who have convert others to his belief structure and control them. become disgusted with religion and turned from God, As much as I love playing the Mass Effect games, yet there are voices who are saying the opposite. They I know my faith is going to be slightly abused when I aren’t turning back to deny science, but, like Suvi, are do so. In the Mass Effect world, my belief in God is not seeing God in science and trying to understand how to appreciated and the underlying story is that I am foolread the Bible in light of the reality of both. ish because of it. This frustrates me because though I Though this is an uphill battle, I am grateful for am a man of faith, I do not think that excludes me from having met Suvi and had a conversation that has given being a man of science as well. me hope. For the first time in forever I am playing a Science fiction’s constant portrayal of religion as sci-fi game where religion is treated with respect (even evil or foolish upsets me, but that is what I’ve come to though it’s also being used for evil by the villain). There expect. That is, until I was running around the deck of is at least one other person on the mission who knows my ship in Andromeda and began a conversation with that God does not have to be a construct for abuse but one of my science officers, a woman named Suvi. She can be seen as the divine artist who painted the heavmade a comment about the dark beauty of the scourge ens, shaped the worlds and designed every incredible and Helios cluster as a “constant reminder of the thing that moves. w AOE MAGAZINE • 17

Screenshot from Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

THE STIGMA OF JUPITER'S RED SPOT By Kyla Neufeld

In this case, I don’t think it’s a problem of the Star Wars universe itself, but rather an oversight he plot hole that bothers me the most in Episode by the movie’s creators that resulted in lazy writing. III: Revenge of the Sith is the lack of health care. When it comes to fantasy and sci-fi, female characters No, I’m not kidding. Bear with me. are often still an after-thought. I’m sure proper reproI recently read this fantastic article, “Did Inadductive care wasn’t even on the radar when the writers equate Women’s Healthcare Destroy Star Wars’ Old thought out Padmé’s storyline; they just knew she Republic?” that suggests most, if not all, of Anakin’s needed to die because she wasn’t in the later movies. fear for Padmé’s life could have been avoided if she Women’s health has been misunderstood for had seen an obstetrician. For those of you who have centuries, back to when the Greeks blamed hysteria in no desire to relive the prequels, here’s a women on their “wandering wombs.” refresher: Anakin has a dream in which In the Bible, Leviticus tells us that menPadmé dies from childbirth. In an effort ANAKIN’S FEAR FOR struation makes a woman “ceremoto save her life, he turns to Emperor unclean” and that anything she PADMÉ’S LIFE COULD nially Palpatine, all but solidifying his move touches becomes unclean as well. And, to the Dark Side. HAVE BEEN AVOIDED while we know the medical reasons How do I know Padmé didn’t for menstruation now—that it is simply receive any prenatal health care? When IF SHE HAD SEEN AN the uterus shedding the inner lining, she confronts Anakin towards the end caused by hormonal fluctuations— OBSTETRICIAN. of the movie, she asks him to help her those notions of hysteria, being “dirty,” raise their “child,” not their “children.” and being slaves to our hormones Padmé doesn’t know she’s going to have twins, which persist. We laugh at Michael Scott asking the women means she didn’t get so much as an ultrasound. in The Office if they are PMSing so that he knows if How is it possible that Anakin lives after losing he should take their anger seriously or not, but these three limbs and nearly burning to death, while his wife notions still continually hold women back. dies from childbirth? (And, please, read the article There’s a well-known story about how, before the mentioned above before you bring up how Padmé first female American astronaut, Sally Ride, went into simply lost the will to live.) How is it possible that the space in 1983, the male NASA engineers asked her if Star Wars universe, which is scientifically advanced, 100 tampons would be enough for her six-day trip. doesn’t have proper reproductive health care? But, even before Sally, NASA did not understand

ZELDA MUSIC ARRANGEMENTS TO INSPIRE YOU

As recommended by AoE staff

SONG OF TIME AND SONG OF STORMS by Taylor Davis www.taylordavisviolin.com From her Melodies of Hyrule album, this song brings us back to childhoods filled with playing the Nintendo 64.

menstruation. In 1959, 32 men underwent rigorous physical testing to see how they would fare in space: of the 18 men who passed, seven went on to become NASA’s first class of astronauts. A year later, NASA invited pilot Geraldine “Jerrie” Cobb to undergo the same testing. She passed and by 1961, another 18 female pilots had taken the same tests; 13 of those women passed. To compare the numbers, that’s 56% for men and 68% for women. Clearly, women were just as suited to space flight as men, if not more so. But NASA didn’t send a woman into space for another 22 years because of fears about menstruating in space. In 1964, the authors of a study came to the conclusion that hormonal women weren’t capable of handling a complex spacecraft. And, by 1970, NASA knew that space affects the cardiovascular system, which has to fight gravity to pump blood from the lower extremities back to the heart. In space, there is no gravity and, therefore, the risk that the heart won’t work as hard and blood and

fluids will pool in the upper body and head. Scientists were worried that the lack of gravity would affect the menstrual system as well by causing retrograde menstrual flow, which can lead to peritonitis: the inflammation of the membrane lining the abdominal wall. The only problem was that the menstrual system does not rely on gravity the same way that the cardiovascular system does. As it turns out, menstruating in space is the same as menstruating on earth. If we are going to send women to Mars, or beyond, we need to encourage an understanding of women’s health in our culture. We need to do away with the worries that PMS makes women weak, and the ideas that women are slaves to their hormones. That speaks to nothing but distrust that women can’t be professional in their work spaces. Back on earth, the persisting stigma around menstruation is harmful to women and girls. In developing countries, girls often don’t have access to sanitary products like pads or tampons, or even a change of underwear. This leads to them missing

“Moving Through the Pain" continued from page 16

college. My bitterness toward him was like a thorn in my side, an emotion I tried to avoid but that just wouldn’t go away. I decided to stop running and visited him, apologizing for being a bad roommate and a poor friend, and I felt much better bringing that chapter of my life to a close. I think Spike sees his crewmates coming to terms with their pasts and it spurs him to do the same. It’s shortly after Ed leaves, an event that seems to really impact Spike, that he decides to confront his nemesis, possibly in a duel to the death. Despite Faye’s protestations, he is determined to go, replying, “I’m not going there to die; I’m going to find out if I’m really alive.” That line always struck me as odd. How will

ASTRAL OBSERVATORY by Rozen www.rozen.audio One of our favourite pieces from Rozen's Time Once Lost album that revits several themes from Majora's Mask.

school one week out of every month; they fall behind in their studies and drop out of school altogether. And in the Western world, high taxes on sanitary products make it difficult for low-income earners to afford them, often leaving women with the choice of going to work and being extremely uncomfortable, or staying home with the risk of losing their jobs (when one sneeze can set off a big rush of blood, the thought of going out without protection is incredibly unappealing). Women’s health needs to be more openly discussed in space science, fantasy, and sci-fi. The ignorance surrounding women’s health doesn’t just result in movie plot holes, it contributes to the misogynist attitudes that harm women in their schools, work places, and relationships, not to mention legislation that strips women of their rights. Talking openly about menstruation and women’s health can only lead to more acceptance in our society and better representation in our stories—and that’s better for everyone. w

Spike find out he’s “really alive” by fighting someone who is likely to kill him? But then I realized Spike needs that closure to move on with his life. My past sins may not completely define me, but they are considerable in shaping the person I become. I can’t deny that the things I did in my past, the things done to me, and the events I experienced have molded my life. The person I am now is inextricably connected to my life back then. Like Spike, I sometimes need to work out my transgressions to keep maturing and growing. In some cases, as with Faye, I might not like the answers I find. But regardless of outcome, regardless of shame, regret, or sadness, I know that I have reason to be thankful, because the pains of my past— and how I rise to meet my ghosts now—help move me toward becoming the person I want to be. w

BREATH OF THE WILD GUITAR MEDLEY by FamilyJules7X www.familyjules7x.com " Funny how a game with supposedly no music has some pretty sweet music."

by Allison Barron

"Rocket Raccoon" by Wisesnail Art

here is no bigger jerk in Guardians of the Galaxy sense. But the fear is strong with this one. It drives Vol. 2 than the loud-mouthed, quick-to-anger, him to extremely illogical decisions. genetically-modified and mechanically-inclined Though irrational, I understand Rocket’s Rocket Raccoon. He steals from the Guardians’ feelings perfectly. The very beginning of a new clients, making enemies where they could have had relationship, either romantic or platonic, is new and allies; he pushes his friends away when they try to talk exciting. It’s fun getting to know the other person to him; he retreats into loneliness against all common and surprising them with your own quirks and sense. personality. It’s when a few weeks or months have “Are you trying to make everyone hate you? Bepassed—when the relationship is formed but still cause you’re doing it perfectly,” Peter Quill says to him. growing—that I start to worry. Just like Rocket, who And Quill’s right—Rocket seems to be doing everything was fully confident in the first movie but faces emoto reject the ragtag family he’s become a part of, a fam- tional turmoil in the second, I am overcome with ily who accepts him for who he is. doubt about my own worth. Why? Why would someone throw away love and Part of this fear is grounded in a past of expericompanionship when it’s offered to encing rejection—so it’s not wholly irrathem? tional. But just because I know what that JUST LIKE ROCKET, The answer resonates with me emotional pain feels like doesn’t mean I AM OVERCOME deeply—it’s fear. Rocket is the only I have the desire to go through it again; one of his kind and his life has been WITH DOUBT ABOUT the same pain experienced over and over filled with loneliness as a result. He’s again is a nightmare. Those feelings can MY OWN WORTH. gotten used to fending for himself. impede my ability to be vulnerable, which He’s become accustomed to the actually hurts the very relationship I am isolation. Now suddenly he is surrounded by people trying so desperately to hold on to. The fear can make who care about him and the fear sets in; the fear me second guess my actions and feelings all the time. that they will change their minds and reject him, It can make me constantly on the alert, watching for the fear that he’s not worth being accepted for who any minute sign that the other person may duck out of he is. the relationship. It can make me try to shut the other This kind of anxiety can overwhelm all logic. His person out before they do the same to me. actions—his seeming desire to make every situation worse and get under his companions’ skin—don’t make continued on next page

ONLY AT A CONVENTION 4 W hile attending comic conventions, I’ve found my mindset changes. I act in ways that I wouldn’t elsewhere. It’s weird and wonderful. Here are some things you might find yourself saying when you’re at one of these fan-centered events.

Elsewhere: “I’m not parking in the back forty to get into the supermarket. I’ll just do my shopping somewhere else.” At a Convention: “I don’t care how far I have to park, nor how far I have to walk. I’m going to see Nathan Fillion if it’s the last thing I do!”

Elsewhere: “I’m not waiting in this line to make this purchase. I’ll look for a shorter one.” At a Convention: *Waits in line for two-and-a-half hours, no regrets.*

Elsewhere: “I am not sitting on the floor. It’s dirty, gross, and unsanitary. Who knows what’s been on it?” At a Convention: “YES! One patch of floor space! Now I can sit down!”

Elsewhere: “Ew. I’m not drinking tap water.” At a Convention: “Thank God for bathroom tap water. Now I won’t dehydrate.”

Elsewhere: “I never spend more than ten minutes on my makeup, except for maybe weddings… Maybe…” At a Convention: *Spends almost three hours doing elaborate contouring and erasing eyebrows to look like L from Death Note.*

Elsewhere: *Passes by stranger. Says nothing.* At a Convention: “Oh my gosh! That costume is amazing! Can I take a selfie with you?”

by Victoria Grace Howell

Elsewhere: “That’s so cool.” *Remains composed so as not to embarrass self.* At a Convention: “I JUST PASSED BY FELICIA DAY AT THE FOOD TRUCK. OMG OMG OMG.” Elsewhere: “I don’t know you. Don’t touch me.” At a Convention: “Brethren of the fandom! I embrace thee!”

AOE MAGAZINE • 21

As magnificent as they are, Quill, Gamora, Drax, and Groot are human (well, humanoid. Some of them. Sort of), meaning they make mistakes. They won’t be perfectly loving, perfectly forgiving, at all times. There is going to be a cycle of hurt and forgiveness in any relationship. My fear is based on the “what if” belief that this cycle will inevitably break down no matter how many other examples I have of strong relationships in my life. And that there will be no way to restart that cycle once it has broken. This fear isn’t valid because I’m projecting something onto the other person—what they think of me and what their future actions will be—and that’s not fair to them. The fear makes the dynamic all about me, and that shouldn’t be the case. In order to have a meaningful relationship, I have to accept the love and friendship offered and recognize it takes vulnerability for them to reach out like that, too. As Quill well knows, it takes two to tango. Because I believe God made us to be in relationship with each other, I know we are expected to fail at it and forgive, love each other, and not let fear rule us. While fear is part of my baggage and I can’t stop feeling it—no matter how many times I read the words “Fear not!” —the act of doing so remains challenging. At the very least, I can choose to not let it dictate my decisions. When Yondu speaks to Rocket in Guardians 2, telling him he understands Rocket’s motivations because he spent most of his life in fear and regret, Rocket gets a glimpse of a lonely future if he continues to push people away. Yondu spent years raising Quill as his son, yet never deepened the relationship with vulnerability until the end of his life. Yondu’s words were a warning. The plucky friends of Rocket Raccoon are willing to forgive and that certainly helps his decision to take a chance, to come and get their love (as the lyrics say). It’s these deeply vulnerable bonds with each other that make life worth living and to me they reflect our relationship with Christ as it is meant to be. While I may not be a mischievous raccoon, I can find joy in that vulnerability, in loving others, and in letting them love me in return. w 22 • AOE MAGAZINE

OUR MINIONS Julia Hamm

Allison Barron

Kyla Neufeld

Casey Covel

Charles Sadnick State Alchemist

Half-Elf Warrior

Allison is the executive editor of Area of Effect magazine. Often preoccupied in Hyrule, Middle-earth, or a galaxy far, far away, she is also a writer, graphic designer, and co-host of Infinity +1.

A poet and writer, Kyla first read The Lord of the Rings when she was thirteen, and has been studying Tolkien’s works ever since. She is the editor of Rupert’s Land News in Winnipeg.

An INTJ and connoisseur of chocolate, tea, and sushi, Casey spends her free time in Florida cosplaying, writing, gaming, philosophizing, squinting at strange words, and watching Corgi videos.

When he’s not spending time in education, ministry, or parenting, Charles can be found feeding his nerd urges by streaming anime, reading A Song of Ice and Fire, or watching Star Wars.

Julia has been exploring fantasy and sci-fi worlds since she could read, and has been making and building things for almost as long. She has approximately six more hobbies than she has time for.

Matt Civco

Kevin Cummings

Dustin Schellenberg

Alex Mellen

Matt is doing his best to prize food and song above hoarded gold; the price of books helps a lot. His bookshelves are full of board games and Star Wars Figurines, and he teaches ESL in Montreal.

Husband and father, Kevin is a geek from birth who grew up with the original Star Trek and Star Wars. He enjoys finding expressions of God’s love in the worlds of fandom.

Dustin has a current gaming score of 77,797. He is a competent bass player and guitarist, mediocre mid laner and awful FPS player, a pastor, husband, and father from Winnipeg, MB.

Alex Mellen likes movies, books, sports, music, crafts, and Star Wars. She works as a copyeditor for a small-town newspaper while writing and editing freelance on the side.

Commander

Victoria Grace Howell Waterbending Elf

Victoria is an award-winning writer of speculative fiction and an editor. When not typing away at novels, she enjoys drawing, blogging, Kung Fu, cosplaying, and a really good hot cup of tea.

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AOE MAGAZINE • 23

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