By Arlene Cohen Miller Our children are our perfect mirrors. Jesse, my 21 year old indigo son, is the love of my life. I first felt unconditional love at age 10 when Freckles, a beautiful black and white, mixed-breed collie came into my life. She loved me no matter what. We explored the woods of Kentucky in the southern USA together. She never yelled at me, punished me or "made me feel small". She never placed any conditions on love. It always flowed. But, I first experienced complete and total love when I held Jesse in my arms on June 24, 1986. Jesse was different as a child. He was difficult and manifested all the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He had no friends and pushed people away from him. He couldn’t follow directions. He was loud and didn’t recognize or respect the boundaries of others. When Jesse was young, I often felt sad and embarrassed. I wanted a child that was loved by all, had lots of friends and "fit in". That’s the mirror. I had wanted acceptance for myself as a child, and I didn’t experience it. I projected that need onto Jesse and suffered as a result. I felt Jesse’s pain, and I felt pain for Jesse when he was oblivious to the affect he was having on others. I was attached and co-dependent. I tied my happiness to his happiness and success in life, as I defined it. Whenever babysitters, after-school care givers, camp personnel and others watched Jesse, I was frequently summoned to discuss his disruptive behavior. I was always hoping for the best and waiting for the next disaster. I was attached to him changing, conforming and "getting better". Jesse has always been his own person. He never cared what others thought of him. He recognized their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and acted out just to see how far he could go before getting a reaction. Thank you Jesse for being my perfect mirror. You helped me learn adaptability. You taught me the meaning of unconditional love and to let go of other people’s opinions and reactions, which are none of my business. You taught me tolerance. I was the peace maker. Some of us are here to make waves and prompt change. Jesse