By Arlene Cohen Miller Our children are our perfect mirrors. Jesse, my 21 year old indigo son, is the love of my life. I first felt unconditional love at age 10 when Freckles, a beautiful black and white, mixed-breed collie came into my life. She loved me no matter what. We explored the woods of Kentucky in the southern USA together. She never yelled at me, punished me or "made me feel small". She never placed any conditions on love. It always flowed. But, I first experienced complete and total love when I held Jesse in my arms on June 24, 1986. Jesse was different as a child. He was difficult and manifested all the symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He had no friends and pushed people away from him. He couldn’t follow directions. He was loud and didn’t recognize or respect the boundaries of others. When Jesse was young, I often felt sad and embarrassed. I wanted a child that was loved by all, had lots of friends and "fit in". That’s the mirror. I had wanted acceptance for myself as a child, and I didn’t experience it. I projected that need onto Jesse and suffered as a result. I felt Jesse’s pain, and I felt pain for Jesse when he was oblivious to the affect he was having on others. I was attached and co-dependent. I tied my happiness to his happiness and success in life, as I defined it. Whenever babysitters, after-school care givers, camp personnel and others watched Jesse, I was frequently summoned to discuss his disruptive behavior. I was always hoping for the best and waiting for the next disaster. I was attached to him changing, conforming and "getting better". Jesse has always been his own person. He never cared what others thought of him. He recognized their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and acted out just to see how far he could go before getting a reaction. Thank you Jesse for being my perfect mirror. You helped me learn adaptability. You taught me the meaning of unconditional love and to let go of other people’s opinions and reactions, which are none of my business. You taught me tolerance. I was the peace maker. Some of us are here to make waves and prompt change. Jesse
is such a person. He is an example to me and others of the one who facilitates change. Jesse is also the example of the warrior. His courage to master what makes his heart sing (Chess, Karate, Music and more) has inspired and uplifted me throughout his life. When Jesse was a teenager, I clung to the role of "overprotective" mom. I wanted to continue managing all the details of his life, especially as it related to school. If he failed or did poorly, I felt like a failure. I felt that my parents and society would judge me to be a bad mom. I was arrogant. With the assistance and facilitation of my teachers and guides, I let it go. I learned to allow Jesse to be responsible for himself or experience the consequences. I allowed him to grow up, in part by releasing the shackles my issues were imposing on his life. It is a blessing to have mirrors. When our children are our mirrors, the learning can be profound and transformational if we but choose. Thank you Jesse for all the lessons you agreed to present to me for integration in this life. Now Jesse is a junior at the University of Wyoming and hasn’t lived with me for four years. I thought his days of being my mirror and teacher were over. I was wrong. I recently learned or acknowledged that Jesse is a daily marijuana smoker. When I was 21, I smoked marijuana, drank alcohol, engaged in casual sex and felt unworthy of love. I looked outside of myself for acceptance and felt dis-empowered. Jesse is the mirror of my "wasted" youth. As I surrender and let go of the need to fix Jesse, I move more fully into Universal Source Wholeness and release the karmic ties that would require me to learn the same lessons once again. Jesse is exactly where he needs to be, learning the lessons he came in to learn. He may be taking the longer road to enlightenment and self-actualization in these moments, but that’s his choice. My choice is to unconditionally love and accept myself and him in all moments. My choice is to connect with him as Christ meeting Christ. My choice is to surrender to the God within, and quit raging against myself for past and future indiscretions. In so doing, I plant my feet firmly in the present and live each moment in gratitude and love. At the Insight Foundation, there are classes and mentors to help you release what no longer serves you and move into unconditional love, peace, harmony, joy, and unity consciousness.
Go to www.theinsightfoundation.org.au or www.cosmosis.net.au for guidance and information. When we cling to our attachments and judgments, we poison our bodies with fear, slow our progress on the ascension path and draw people and experiences to us that perfectly mirror our issues. We can learn easily and joyfully or we can learn slowly, suffering and experiencing dis-ease and pain in the process. There is only a longer and shorter path to God. Choose "Mother/Father God Thy Will not my will be done", surrender to the God within and embrace life now. It’s a gift. Feel that gift and be grateful for everything. Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you. Lots of love, Arlene
Arlene Cohen Miller is a mentor for the Insight Foundation and lives in Colorado, USA Email: arlenevioletearth@hotmail.com Š Insight Foundation The IF is the source of the teachings expressed in this article. http://www.theinsightfoundation.org