Army&You Autumn 2019

{for everyone with a soldier in their life}

&

Autumn 2019

ndyou.co.uk

JUST THE JOB Discover AFF’s new employment website START-UP SUCCESS Meet the spouses creating their own companies PLUS SCHOOL REPORT FERTILITY FOCUS BLOGSPOT YOUNG GENERATION

n e h e s r de e wi Auf Read one service family’s fond farewell to life in Germany

WIN: A FAMILY TICKET FOR A WILD DAY OUT AT LONDON ZOO A hotel stay, Go Ape! adventure and more also up for grabs in our giveaways

THE MAGAZINE OF THE ARMY FAMILIES FEDERATION

Buying a new home is now as easy as 1... 2... 3...

with

By using Trinity you could buy a brand new Bovis Home without saving for a deposit – while saving yourself stress and hidden costs.

With Trinity you can combine three fantastic standalone schemes:

1

Bovis Homes Discount Scheme £500 Discount for every £25,000 of the property value - plus flooring up to £3,000*

2

Help to Buy Equity Loan Scheme

3

Armed Forces Help to Buy Scheme

Buy a home with just a 5% deposit.

The Government will loan you up to 20% of the property’s value!

Are you in the market for a new home and looking for the best purchase package out there for Armed Forces personnel?

Bovis Homes has developments throughout England, including a number that are close to major military bases, where we have a range of homes from 2 to 6 bedroom properties in attractive locations.

For further information about the schemes and where we are building, please go to – bovishomes.co.uk The Armed Forces purchase scheme is listed within the ‘Need help to Move’ section and you can find the nearest development to you through our ‘search for a new home’

Service personnel can be advanced up to 50% of annual salary (maximum £25,000) interest free!

The Bovis Homes Armed Forces Discount Scheme has specific terms and conditions. Help to Buy Equity Loan and Forces Help to Buy have specific terms amd conditions and are subject to affordability criteria as prescribed

by Homes England and the Ministry of Defence. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offers or promotions. Please ask your sales advisor for further information. Photograph shown depicts a typical Bovis Homes interior. YOUR HOME MAY BE REPOSSESSED IF YOU DO NOT KEEP UP REPAYMENTS ON A MORTGAGE OR ANY OTHER DEBT SECURED ON IT. *Flooring to be chosen from the Bovis Homes Select range.

FROM THE EDITOR

Army&You

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EDITOR Charlotte Eadie editor@aff.org.uk

DEPUTY EDITOR Lisa Youd deped@aff.org.uk // 01264 382314

ArmyandYou on Facebook or visit armyandyou.co.uk

AFF UK CENTRAL OFFICE 01264 382324 // us@aff.org.uk REBASING 07542 270358 // rebasing@aff.org.uk REGIONAL MANAGER SOUTH 07824 534345 // rmsouth@aff.org.uk OXFORDSHIRE/M4 CORRIDOR 07787 091883 // oxfordshirem4@aff.org.uk HAMPSHIRE 07527 492803 // hampshire@aff.org.uk WILTSHIRE 07527 492783 // wiltshire@aff.org.uk

Just the job

SOUTH EAST 07974 970696 // southeast@aff.org.uk LONDON 07901 778948 // london@aff.org.uk REGIONAL MANAGER NORTH & CENTRAL 07824 534357 // rmnorthcentral@aff.org.uk

➜

NORTH EAST 07557 977141 // northeast@aff.org.uk NORTH WEST 07733 147001 // northwest@aff.org.uk WEST MIDLANDS 07557 977290 // westmids@aff.org.uk EAST MIDLANDS 07587 456280 // eastmids@aff.org.uk EAST ANGLIA 07527 492807 // eastanglia@aff.org.uk REGIONAL MANAGER SCOTLAND, WALES & NI

07585 333115 // rmscotwalesni@aff.org.uk SCOTLAND 07780 093115 // scotland@aff.org.uk WALES 07527 492868 // wales@aff.org.uk NORTHERN IRELAND 07729 159013 // ni@aff.org.uk

AFF OVERSEAS 0044 (0) 7795 596568 // rmoverseas@aff.org.uk EUROPEAN JOINT SUPPORT UNIT 0032 (0) 47738 4054 // ejsu@aff.org.uk CANADA 001 (0) 403 9280436 // canada@aff.org.uk KENYA 00254 (0) 71985 1834 // kenya@aff.org.uk BRUNEI 00673 (0) 8990701 // brunei@aff.org.uk GERMANY 0049 (0) 176 351 87 774 // germany@aff.org.uk CYPRUS (00357) 2596 2289 // rmcyprus@aff.org.uk WSBA 00357 (0) 9789 2230 // wsba@aff.org.uk YOUR AFF SPECIALISTS

CHARLOTTE EADIE, EDITOR

HEALTH & ADDITIONAL NEEDS✪ 07552 861983 // additionalneeds@aff.org.uk EDUCATION & CHILDCARE 07527 492869 // ec@aff.org.uk HOUSING 07789 551158 // housing@aff.org.uk

CONTRIBUTIONS If you’ve got a story to tell about army life, then let us know – email editor@aff.org.uk SUBSCRIPTIONS In your own home or private rental?

Subscribe for FREE via armyandyou.co.uk – you can unsubscribe at any time via the same link or by emailing unsubscribe@ aff.org.uk DELIVERY If you live in SFA/SSFA and would like to be removed from our mailing list, you can do so at any time by emailing unsubscribe@aff.

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org.uk or visiting armyandyou.co.uk, where you’ll find our privacy policy and T&Cs PUBLISHER Army&You is published quarterly by TylerBale Communications on behalf of the Army Families Federation. Editorial content © AFF. Not to be reproduced without permission AFF Army Families Federation is a charitable incorporated organisation registered in England and Wales with registered charity number 1176393 and a charity registered in Scotland with registered charity number

SC048282. Principal office: IDL 414, Floor 1, Zone 6, Ramillies Building, Marlborough Lines, Monxton Road, Andover SP11 8HJ COMPETITIONS To enter, visit armyandyou.co.uk One entry per household per giveaway. Full T&Cs on the website. Closing date is 6 October 2019.

FOREIGN & COMMONWEALTH fcsupport@aff.org.uk EMPLOYMENT & TRAINING✪ 07799 045955 // employmenttraining@aff.org.uk MONEY & ALLOWANCES✪ 07593 130364 // moneyallowances@aff.org.uk

ADVERTISEMENTS Interested in advertising in Army&You? Contact TylerBale Communications.

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autumn 2019 Army&You 03

Posts generously sponsored by ABF The Soldiers’ Charity

(pages 54-55), there’s a postcard from Australia (page 50) and it’s a fond farewell to life in BFG on page 48. We also have a heart-warming story on page 20 recognising the service spouses helping Kenyan children.

Our regulars include some great giveaways on pages 62-63, Book Club (page 46) and families’ views on our BlogSpot pages (pages 65-66).

If you have a story about army family life, contact us at editor@aff.org.uk – we’d love to hear from you.

✪

In this autumn’s Army&You, we’ve turned our focus to employment. Our main feature (pages 14-15) shares details of AFF’s new website Forces Families Jobs, which launches later this month (September 2019) and will enable you to apply for work with confidence knowing every employer on the site has signed the Armed Forces Covenant.

There’s some handy advice for prepping for interviews (page 19), a run down of rules for Foreign & Commonwealth families who want to work (page 53), and our Start-up success feature (pages 16-17) showcases family members who’ve set up brilliant businesses to fit with army life.

Elsewhere there are some fantastic resources to support your children through army life in Material that matters (pages 56-57). We salute the inspirational ‘Cake Lady’ who supports injured troops with sweet treats (pages 24-25) and Making families follows one couple’s fertility journey (pages 30-31).

In our health section Make it a priority (pages 26-27) explains why you shouldn’t put off medical appointments and Pre-screening prep (page 28) covers what to do if you’re heading overseas.

Around the globe, we look at life for forces families in Scotland comparing rural to city living

SOUTH WEST 07787 301826 // southwest@aff.org.uk

GORDON’S SCHOOL BOARDING IN SURREY

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Years 7, 9 and 12 boarding places available from £5,615 per term.

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Don't forget to fol low us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for lots mo re news and features – details on page three

ion YoungGenerat YOUNGE FOR THE

{for everyone with a soldier in their

&

life}

ndyou.co.uk

START-UP SUCCESS Meet the spouses creating their own companies PLUS SCHOOL REPORT FERTILITY FOCUS BLOGSPOT YOUNG GENERATION

en Auf wiederseh

has initiatives CHARITY Little Troopers separation: to help families through SERIES ✚ STORYBOOK of letters from a Written in the form the parent talking about military child to a challenges they face.

A hotel stay, Go Ape! adventure and

more also up for grabs in our giveaways

author of CLARE Shaw is the y’s Sometimes: My Daddy’s/Mumm Work Gone Away with deployed when “My husband was nine and six and we our children were impact it would underestimated the youngest went have,” she said. “Our to not wanting to from being outgoing morning. be left at school each My Daddy’s “We wrote Sometimes; as a family, Gone Away with Work

“We made messaged family with two story to him. Seth “WE ARE a book-loving My and read our of his (4) and Corin (3). been the highlight to say that it had small children, Raphael in of this went into the to Belize on exercise day – a screenshot husband Seth went time he’d been deployed scrapbook too.

January – the first with Reading Force “We’ve continued since Corin’s birth.

by Quentin Blake home, making scrapbooks even with daddy “When Mr Magnolia the it scattered around embarked on reading with friends and family arrived, I hesitantly that they would be treasures our activities country. My mother to our children, doubting compile close to concentration to they make her feel because able to sustain their I was proved wrong. her grandchildren.” an entire scrapbook. their versions of Mr “They adored drawing their activities g.uk l Visit readingforce.or Magnolia and I photographed of their ideas. and kept the doodles

THE Grumpit is an endearing self-help by storybook created spouse author and army Polly Bateman, written young initially to help her where he son in situations felt anxious or fearful. a lot “It’s a tool we’ve used character since I made the he up for my son when 11). The now was four (he’s a Grumpit helps develop of their child’s understanding the way own emotions and

D READING LIST ✚ RECOMMENDE all ages.

A list of books for said of the Little A single serving parent app: “One of the Troopers Treasures three-year-old misses biggest things my This app allows is our bedtime story. and gives him the him to hear my voice of mummy is thinking reassurance that him when we’re apart.”

FEATURES

REGULARS

WIN: GIRL POWER Bryan ENGINEER Kerrine common wanted to challenge certain about misconceptions she wrote types of jobs, so Mummy is her first book, My on the an Engineer, to pass to children. positive message the series, The fifth book in was My Mummy Is A Soldier, Deborah Col Lt written after to Taylor asked Kerrine book develop a children’s of that raises awareness women the diversity of jobs army. the in undertake

PIT

Polly. they play out,” said “The Grumpit is someone for you, who gets worried has to and your child just her that explain to him or feel they don’t need to your that way. By putting child in the supportive role, they learn

A&Y reader Toni Beacock at and her son Louis armyandyou.co.uk/ or visit review-the-grumpit thegrumpit.com

self-soothing, self-compassion and courage to help them through

copies to Army&You has five entry rules give away – see on page three.

situations.”

Read a review by

www.armyandyou.co.uk

@ArmyandYou

2019 56 Army&You autumn

ist yment special AFF’s emplo and south west son Laura Lewin Jenna Richard Jobs co-ordinatorForces Families promoting

Left to right: Amy

Peak, Tilly Lambert

and Kirsty Mickelburgh

have all encountered

employment issues

due to the mobile

JOBS JOINING FORCES FOR

about local “You can find out from and personal encountered resistance events, insight days from affecting “I passed significant impact, off employers. She said: development opportunities. and POT a vacancy, fire but when with the spouses’ confidence with excellent grades, job We’ve also engaged to the financial your application, I was either sense of identity, the spousal I applied for jobs, anyone working in with the done. If only finding someone space.” impact on the family told that there was writes Jill employment support of the being work was that simple, reliance on the salary else who could guarantee part of an how Misson. When you’re service person.” reliable or they questioned feel like the Joining forces is with published a army family it can stay in the job.

In June 2018, AFF long I’d be able to against you.

One strong relationship on my cards are stacked report which revealed impact huge tri-service Unsung Hero a the had This your partner the Supporting spouses and Will they ask when that 45 per cent of programme at self-confidence.” lacking skills business support had reported n. is posted? Are you partners surveyed of Wolverhampto Can you University when the around?

Jobs after moving a perceived discrimination Sarah Walker Forces Families with no family Project manager shop manage childcare applying for a job. to be a A new online one-stop said: “We are proud to A&Y training close by?

Barstow admitted and Lizzie ‘go to’ for employment stuck in key partner and the be tricky: “It’s on 17 Tilly Lambert feels support that interviews can opportunities is launching said: “It’s a organisation for start-up to be entry-level jobs. She The Forces Families difficult to know whether so often, for spouses.” she said. September. delivered nightmare. We move honest with employers,” Jobs platform is being time you’d will have to the Naval usually around the “Some know they

by AFF, working with so I never get Unique selling point process look to promote, recruitment federations. the to start and RAF families that next step.

Any employer wishing and are a the chance to take again in 12-24 months Families You’ll be able to register CV advertise on Forces I got asked “I now have a patchwork for jobs by the reluctant to do that. profile and search unappealing to Jobs must have signed in five years’ and it looks very role type where I see myself sector, salary range, Armed Forces Covenant. employers.” in the UK time – a very straightforward tailor their own and location, both Organisations can not question for someone offer flexible and overseas. pledges but may military, but sure the Barriers to transfer associated with the “We wanted to make that army working, opportunities job I AFF understands everyone, because of my husband’s or additional to platform supports your job on posting you are spouses find it challenging absolutely no idea.” of deployment. no matter what stage employment have leave for periods hard to maintain meaningful CV to career Amy Peak studied Group at, from writing a Employment National Express training.

Laura. access professional or said upgrade her advice and training,” Laura Lewin @ArmyandYou still & training specialist qualifications but can have a said: “These barriers

S

www.armyandyou.co.uk

w you need to kno Screening: what have

d with on, picture Louise Simpsencourages all , they her family sure that ing to make women cancer screen time for find the

ensure army families for some time to advice…

Ross, shares her AFF has been working to screening. Karen the right access you your invitation,

and it felt like things differently prepare a each time I had to right to have sales pitch for the this done. during We moved four times was the my 40s. Each time friends, usual upheaval: leaving sorting out making new friends, the children the houses, settling job. Let’s in and finding a new of an army face it, the needs difficult – I a long way The process was spouse often come before if had to have counselling list of priorities. And the down agreed and my needs the health service I’m going to consider for a facial being forced to contemplate then I am totally up have you without your mortality when but could really do easy thing. smashed into small children is no having my breasts it and However, I got through a metal press! checks on with the committed to having So, I let it slide, along once I got And a yearly basis. smears. cervical that each my mum died, The problem was past the age that had to start invincible and time we moved I I felt a little more again – I to drop it. the process all over it became easier the permission is only going couldn’t transfer Clearly this story location did because each new

of breast MY MOTHER died 17 – she cancer when I was raised in an was 43. She was

know orphanage and didn’t so when I her family history advised by turned 40, I was could request my doctor that I s, writes annual mammogram Simpson. army spouse Louise

“My advice to anyone reading this is to find the time for screening.

Push through all the needless bureaucracy that makes being an army spouse just

last summer in one direction – NHS were I found a lump. The very quickly truly awesome and with several I was diagnosed (when different breast cancers and I commit, I really commit!) recovering a month later I was I spent from a mastectomy. getting the next six months reconstruction and treatment drugs for the and will now be on

that little more difficult. It could be a game changer!”

foreseeable future. that I’m not suggesting but I do this was avoidable, severe my question how less been if it cancer would have earlier. had been spotted anyone So, my advice to find the time reading this is to through all for screening. Push that the needless bureaucracy spouse makes being an army difficult. It just that little more changer! & could be a game @ArmyandYou

the 20 birthday. From bo missed 2020 school year, you can eligib don’t have to wait, is the most 12-13 should be SCREENING TOP TIPS BREAST cancer to request eligible, how contact your GP in the UK vaccination. It is, ✚ If you think you’re common cancer experiencing even a test. If you’re ly one-inimportant that speak to your GP discuss with approximate the H unusual symptoms, who have had ✚ Keep any screening eight women diagnosed cerv so you can it with your doctor. vaccine access documentation, with it in their lifetime. forces age move Sinead Calvert, save lives screening from transfer this if you cal Screening can o overseas, spouse and gynaecologi detection If you’re posted ✚ If you’re posted and allow for early oncology process. re to different need consultant a and a better you may it may be and treatment Gloucester wil Service radiographer for what screening Defence Medical chance of recovery.

Trust, said: ac offer you NHS Foundation aged available before practices should In the UK, women this year in i “Disappointingly, for breast the posting. This breast cancer screening 50-71 are invited lowest host we have had the every three line with the NHS, but important if you’v taking the cancer screening or will differ uptake of women currently abnormal tests nation provision years. But there’s screening to access cervical cancer women ongoing treatmen ✚ If you’re unable a trial offering some can you nationally. test 71-73 screening overseas, being aged 47-49 and UK but it must “Reasons include be flown to the extra screening.

USEFUL LINKS healthcare scared/embarrassed of be agreed by your forgetting the procedure, first. If you have SEARCH ‘BREAST SCREEN t HIGH RISK SUPPORT have provider history of NHS England to book an appointmen you a strong family isn’t rea If, like Louise (left), test nhs.uk/conditions/b know you or thinking the history of breast cancer or a strong family a human an Northern Ireland necessary after probably are high risk, discuss breast cancer you’ll (HPV) cancerscreening.hscni. with your papillomavirus high risk. overseas posting be identified as a forces wife, NHS Scotland the medical vaccination. As invited for GP and during You’ll usually be challenges nhsinform.scot (see I understand the you are 50. pre-screening process The screening before NHS Wales our lifestyle presents. refer page 30). and Your GP may also breasttestwales.wale upheaval of a posting clinic you to a high-risk Cancer Research UK ensure the planning to genetic CERVICAL SCREENING cancerresearchuk.or that may offer you disruption to cancer there’s minimal MRI scans In the UK, cervical Breast Cancer Care testing and yearly huge. is frequent the family, s, but this is the fourth most breastcancercare.or if or mammogram most “Cervical cancer, and level cancer, but the will vary with age early, can be in women FOR CERVICAL SCRE detected cancer be also common Book of risk. Men can NHS England five-minute treated and cured. a strong under 35. A free nhs.uk/conditions high risk, if there’s test today NHS your screening is offered on the breast of test history and family Northern Ireland cancer by and tell your family or female and can prevent sexualhealthni.in cancer in a male too.” s friends to do so detecting precancerou NHS Scotland family member. female are changes. If you healthscotland.s you’ll receive HPV and under 25, NHS Wales KEEPING ON TOP OF for is also keen to you Sinead inviting cervicalscreenin a letter APPOINTMENTS of HPV six months raise awareness it’s not screening up to As Louise mentioned, will be you HPV vaccination that you reach 25. If keep track of to before easy always nhs.uk/conditio be offered extended to pubescent be having are 25-49 you’ll virus-hpv/ when you should year. and males from next and often screening three-yearly a free breast screening get girls 50-64.

Currently Karen is availa even register five-yearly between from the it takes time to within additionalnee NHS HPV vaccine may miss Results are sent with a GP, so you up to their 25th 12 you’ve of if age and two weeks out on the invitation.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

2019 26 Army&You autumn

THE MAGAZINE OF THE ARMY FAMILIES FEDERATION

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Army & You Sep.indd 1

family life

2019 14 Army&You autumn

GET YOUR

Certified

nature of service

said: “We’re corporate affairs, the w committed to supporting and Lizzie Barsto d guaranteed wider defence community husban has introduced a and her it made perfec not only for with our expertise interview scheme, our also for sense for us to provide service leavers, but this project of those insight to help make partners and spouses first time that which helps happen. This is the currently serving, from across the in members hurdle first family you get over the one place to services have had applying for posts. employers already go to find work from One major employer their needs.

UK. who are aware of on the site is Amazon and othe firm’s military “With links to training Gillian Russell, the years’ time – platform ca said: I see myself in five advice we hope the programme manager, I got asked where and make a someone not about having have a real impact ard question for “We’re very excited of my a very straightforw advertise real difference.” military, but because an avenue to directly associated with the absolutely no idea our military programmes, husband’s job I have Check out forcesfamiliesjo website is initiatives and jobs. and Forces Families Jobs so many co.uk from 17 September “We know there are for roles in change. social the option to search be a fantastic can keep an eye on AFF’s of people candidates who will have received “I’ve heard stories organisations that more – @The_AFF that for hope get to media and wringer fit for Amazon & support they going through the an award for the encourage #ForcesFamiliesJobs their partner our involvement will community. extra days off when offer to the service to see the value serving Defence other employers has come home from Natalie Haynes from FAM and that they haven’t been in this population AFF THANKS OUR FORCES our country. They Relationship Management developing sunshine and too will commit to with JOBS FUNDERS & PARTNERS: swanning off in the explained: “We work untapped the for programmes their HR it’s stressful enough.” employers to adapt Annington Trust families.” ensuring potential in forces Military spouse Kirsty policies and practices, Forces forward ABF The Soldiers’ Charity Working for an Armed spousal Mickelburgh is looking they make robust can Jobs and we Covenant signatory Broadbean to using Forces Families employment pledges to your when she Managem this work make a big difference to help her find work Defence Relationship appraise and reward of staff.

Cyprus. experience as a member Recognition moves back from via the Employer Manpower Group Barbourusing my Army spouse Emma She said: “I’ve been Scheme (ERS).” for UK Air Force Association to my Royal add to the Johnston, who works here time over Guidance on building said: “When Marines worked as platform Power Networks, Royal Navy & Royal qualifications. I had Forces Families Jobs for six in the UK but my partner was deployed ERS-winning a sales assistant University of Wolverhampton was given by Gold was absolutely when my Manpower. months, my boss there was no flexibility recruitment company that my tour or courses.” head of great at understanding husband was on Jeremy Hay-Campbell, to be flexible of the leave would need autumn 2019 Army Another unique function and flights because R&R dates

FEATURE

MAKE IT A PRIORITY

Katie Cole and her army family reflect on the experiences they have enjoyed during their three years living in Gütersloh as they prepare to leave Germany (page 48).

m at cskidsbooks.co l Find out more claim ten per cent – A&Y readers can at checkout. off by using ARMY10

57 autumn 2019 Army&You

t l Go to littletroopers.ne

06 Our Experts Find out what AFF’s team have been up to this quarter 09 A Word From...

AFF's chief executive Sara Baade 10 AFF In Action Discover the latest news affecting army families 46 Book Club Young readers' verdicts on The Monster Who Wasn't 62 Giveaways Win a one-night break, an animal adventure and more 65 BlogSpot You share your experiences of army family life

ON THE COVER

gaway.com l Visit mydaddysgoin

GET TO KNOW THE GRUM

TREASURES ✚ LITTLE TROOPERS you choose and record A free app where captures a book. The app yourself reading see so your child can your face and voice following along. and hear you while

14 Joining Forces For Jobs New website to offer employment assistance 16 Start-up Success What's it like running your own business? We find out...

24 The Cake Lady Saluting one woman's sweet support for the services 26 Make It A Priority Why you shouldn't put off cancer screening 30 Making Families One service couple share their fertility story 56 Material That Matters Discover books, activities and more to help your young ones

Chris. and children,” explained carers, teachers world to forces sold around the The books have sports people pilots, professional families, airline and his family astronaut Tim Peake and more – even copy! have a well-thumbed

what was which helped to address from the child’s happening. It’s written are areas where perspective; there draw their own they can write and to count down feelings, a calendar of tissues for days and even a packet sad. when they’re feeling tips given to me “It contains all the was struggling and when my little one experience.” it comes from first-hand

AIDING WITH ABSENCES

where forces army a reading initiative Reading Force is We caught up with a scrapbook together. used it… a book and fill out to find out how she spouse Daniela Makin in Belize a Skype call to daddy

BRINGING FAMILIES TOGETHER

Read one service family’s fond farewell to life in Germany

DAY OUT AT LONDON ZOO WIN: A FAMILY TICKET FOR A WILD

headed out for an WHEN Chris MacGregor Going he penned My Daddy’s operational tour, It was bought by young children.

Away for his two which asked him Random House, publisher Penguin book for mums. to write a similar emotional cycle on the US navy’s “They’re based isn’t obvious, they and although it of deployment, between parents, for conversation act as a catalyst

D A FORCE FOR GOO families share

Autumn 2019

JUST THE JOB Discover AFF’s new employment website

ERSATION’

‘A CATALYST FOR CONV

or even when they’re their serving parent distraction or to are separated from if they move home, of providing a welcome crafts are a great way go through tricky times can tap into… activity packs and Your little ones can resources that you periods apart. Books, took a look at some of the fantastic reunited after long bond. We help the whole family

CONTENTS INSIGHT

FA M I L Y R ARMY S OF YOU

matters Material that

AUTUMN 2019

20 Supporting Little Feet The service spouses helping Kenyan children 21 Meet The Horns Jill, Simon, Sophie and Angus share their army life 23 Recognising Relationships Check out the new housing rules for unmarried couples 48 A Love Note To Germany A service spouse reflects on her family's time in BFG 50 A Postcard From...

A snapshot of life in Canberra, Australia 54 Scotland: Rural vs City Explore the urban and open spaces north of the border

ER R MEMB

autumn 2019 Army&You 05

15/08/2019 10:25

AFF IN ACTION

Our experts

Our team provides families with trusted, expert knowledge and here we find out about their key pieces of work over the last few months. Turn to page three to get in touch.

Laura Lewin

Katherine Houlston

Cat Calder

Jilly Carrell

Karen Ross

Employment & Training

Foreign & Commonwealth

Housing

Education & Childcare

Health & Additional Needs

We welcome the launch of ‘Discover My Benefits’ – the new, free and easy-to-use tool designed specifically for you and your soldier.

The website provides information about all aspects of the benefits and allowances attached to service life. You can use it to check what you could be entitled to, the eligibility criteria and how you can make a claim. Army entitlements include accommodation, flexible working, leave, travel, relocation, pay and pension. Check out discovermybenefits.mod. gov.uk and if you have any feedback, contact me at employmenttraining @aff.org.uk

On Brexit issues, we have at last had official confirmation that the Home Office will allow EEA spouses, who have been or who are currently on an overseas assignment, to count their time as residence in the UK. The only caveat is that you must be able to demonstrate residence in the UK within six months of going to your posting, however, there’s no guidance as to how long the residence would need to have been for.

Although we cannot influence the outcome of any applications, we would be very interested to hear from any spouses applying. Find out more on the Brexit pages at aff.org.uk or contact our F&C team by emailing fcsupport@aff.org.uk

The army Future Accommodation Model pilot site is top of the agenda. It goes live early next year in Aldershot.

Are you affected either by living there or being posted there? Please contact me to let me know your thoughts and how the housing process goes. How easy was the initial allocation process, how helpful was the FAM cell, how useful was the online training guide? If you chose to rent privately, did you have enough time to source a property? Was it easy to find one in the right area? Did you have issues sourcing school places or medical care? Email me at housing@aff.org.uk

The results from our recent ‘service child’s voice’ survey (pages 3435) will help us continue to ensure your children are being listened to by decision makers.

Your emotional and heartfelt responses have helped kickstart the conversation about how service children can be better supported, and we’ve linked up with Forces Radio BFBS to run a campaign around service children in the coming months. It will include vox pops, interviews and much more, so listen out and get involved on DAB+ or via forces.net/ radio, or follow on Twitter @ForcesRadioBFBS

In February we wrote a paper on service children’s mental health and circulated it to organisations and individuals in England and the devolved authorities.

As a result of sending it to NHS England armed forces commissioners, we’ve been able to raise the issues with NHS England's national mental health director. There’s been a lot of interest in the points we’ve raised and there are some specific workstreams being discussed to hopefully address some of these. If your children are having any issues accessing mental health support, contact me at additionalneeds @aff.org.uk

What's your dream job ?

What's your dream job?

What's your dream job?

What's your dream job?

What's your dream job ?

Wine taster, holiday critic or private Caribbean island caretaker

A sunbed tester on a Caribbean island

A (rich) mad inventor

Blue Peter presenter – adventure, dogs and making castles out of squeezy bottles

An actress. My family laugh at this because I’m still a bit of a drama queen.

06 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

When D-Day veteran Eddie lost his sight we gave him the tools to rebuild his life.

Eddie survived the war but when he lost his sight we provided support, training and equipment to help him live an independent life. For more, visit blindveterans.org.uk/eddie

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F Contact AFF @The_AF , on Twitter, Facebook .org.uk Instagram or via aff

A WORD FROM

ONE-STOP SHOP FOR EMPLOYMENT

T

he fact that spousal employment is one of the major issues military families face isn’t news to us here at AFF. We know that the mobile lifestyle, not living near family for childcare support and the uncertainty of postings, can make it hard to find a job – and even harder to pursue a career, writes AFF chief executive Sara Baade (pictured above).

But what’s not always been www.armyandyou.co.uk

clear is what tangible changes we could ask for to improve the situation. Therefore, last year we commissioned the University of Warwick to explore solutions.

Apart from making the army geographically stable, which is not going to happen yet in my opinion, there are no magic answers. However, from Warwick’s report, there were several recommendations including to create a ‘one-stop shop’ for everything to do with

spousal employment, to host jobs and training opportunities specifically for serving families.

There are lots of employers and training providers keen to support the serving community, but the research found that many employers struggled to reach our community and only ten per cent of the spouses asked knew what support was available to them in terms of upskilling.

So, a one-stop shop that supports all of this was needed

and I’m delighted to say that we have managed, with help from our funding partners and stakeholders, to pull this together and will be launching Forces Families Jobs on 17 September.

We are excited about the website and strongly believe it can make a huge difference to the military community! It’s been a lot of hard work but we are proud of it, and I hope that you will all find it useful. Read more on pages 14-15. & autumn 2019 Army&You 09

ine am, Kather AFF’s F&C te rah Drapper d Sa Houlston an

AFF IN ACTION

#AFFTEAMWORK

#ONETOWATCH

#AFFTEAMWORK

FAMILY FOCUS

MINISTER’S MEETING

TALKING TO AFF

The challenges facing service families were on the agenda at the MOD Covenant Conference in Newcastle.

AFF and the other families federations ran a workshop looking at how local authorities (LAs) and others can support dispersed and mobile families.

“We covered topics like school admissions, spousal employment and welfare support,” said AFF’s regional manager north & central Sarah Gilbody. “It raised some interesting conversations and many of the LAs agreed to look at their policies and websites to ensure they specifically include forces families.”

AFF’s rebasing co-ordinator Amy Pearson and families in the Bulford area had the chance to chat informally with MP Mark Francois about how they feel about army life. Mr Francois has been speaking to service families to compile a report for the Prime Minister on improving retention.

The main talking points were separation – particularly soldiers going away at short notice; the housing contract; spousal employment and childcare. The Forces Help to Buy scheme and Continuity of Education Allowance also came up.

AFF has submitted evidence to the MP on various issues.

Look out for updates on the AFF website and social media when the report is published.

In a Westminster Hall debate about Commonwealth personnel in the armed forces, former Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Defence Tobias Ellwood MP, stressed the importance of engaging with the three families’ federations: “[They] give some of the most important input I receive — a reality check on what life is like in our armed forces.

It’s critical that we keep that communication going.”

We couldn’t agree more!

#AFFTEAMWORK

SUPPORTING SERVICE KIDS AFF’s south east co-ordinator Susie Lyles-Clarke joined parents, teachers and staff to debate support for service children at Kent County Council’s Service Children’s Conference.

“We looked at what can be done and what is already being done, especially in schools with fewer service children,” Susie

told Army&You. “The use of the service pupil premium and gaps in learning were the main topics covered.”

The event also brought together 120 service children for a day of fun and celebration at the Duke of York’s Royal Military School, with activities run by the Army Welfare Service.

#ONTHECASE

PUSHING FOR PROGRESS In conversations with welfare officers in Brunei, AFF’s F&C team has discovered that there are a large number of spouses who have visas that have expired or are about to expire.

“We’ve raised the issue with Regional Command and we’re liaising with our contact at UK Visas and Immigration to try to work out a solution,” explained AFF F&C specialist Katherine Houlston.

“It’s likely that many expiry cases are spouses who weren’t given the full five years in the first place, so UKVI needs to correct them for free.

“It’s proving to be a logistical nightmare for corrections to take place overseas, but on the plus side it’s pushing the issue to the top of the pile.

“We’ve agreed to provide the units with a guide to applying for visas from overseas and we hope that this will be the catalyst to eventually getting the answers that we have been pushing for.”

#ONETOWATCH

LANGUAGE BARRIER Following our Learning the Lingo article in Army&You’s winter 2018 edition, Esther Thomas, AFF’s regional manager overseas, has learnt that you can no longer access funding and arrange your own language training. All future training must be delivered through the DESch Capita language training contract.

10 Army&You autumn 2019

Esther said: “This lack of flexibility is frustrating, and it doesn’t always offer the most cost-effective solution.

However, there appears to be little scope to challenge this.”

We advise you to plan training early as in-country provision is reliant on Capita being able to sub-contract with approved tutors. If you believe

you’re eligible, email alastair. scott493@mod.gov.uk The basic support is non-transferable and is for a tutor’s contact time only; other resources can’t be provided. Training hours vary depending on the difficulty of the language.

For spouse training queries, email laura.hajdini@da.mod.uk

@ArmyandYou

SIE RR A. A L PH A . VI C TO R. ECH O. We ’ r e p r o u d t o o f f e r c u r r e n t a n d f o r m e r m i l i t a r y p e r s o n n e l s a v i n g s o n s e l e c t e d v e h i c l e s.† Search: Ford Militar y Sales

† Selected vehicles only. Eligibility criteria applies. See ford.co.uk/militarysales for more information.

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Fuel economy mpg (l/100km): Combined 40.4 (7.0). *CO 2 emissions 136g/km.

Figures shown are for comparability purposes; only compare fuel consumption and CO 2 figures with other cars tested to the same technical procedures. These figures may not reflect real life driving results, which will depend upon a number of factors including the accessories fitted (post-registration), variations in weather, driving styles and vehicle load. * There is a new test used for fuel consumption and CO 2 figures. The CO 2 figures shown, however, are based on the outgoing test cycle and will be used to calculate vehicle tax on first registration.

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NEWS IN BRIEF 4

BENEVOLENT BEER 3

Family brewer Wadworth has launched a new beer, ‘Tommy’, in association with ABF The Soldiers’ Charity, to celebrate its 75th anniversary.

Named after the nickname for a British soldier used for many years – but particularly associated with the First World War – every pint and bottle sold will generate a 5p donation towards the charity’s work.

It’s available at army bases across the country and from Wadworth’s brewery shop.

5

DID YOU KNOW?

NEWS IN BRIEF 1

2

3

If you’re a military spouse, you could be missing out on £250 of National Insurance credits a year if you were posted abroad.

You could be entitled to the credits on your pension because your partner was in the armed forces.

If you’re under 65, you can claim them back for any of the past 44 years. This applies even if the relationship has since ended, provided you spent time overseas because of your other half’s posting.

You can either apply for Class 1 credits for postings after 6 April 2010 or Class 3 credits for postings after 6 April 1975.

The 2020 Education Support Fund (ESF) is accepting grant applications until 12pm on 30 September 2019.

The ESF is open to publiclyfunded schools, academies, free schools and sixth-form colleges in the UK which have to mitigate the effects on service children whose parents are frequently mobile or deployed.

To apply from England, Scotland and Wales, email DCYP-MOD-ESF-Mailbox@ mod.gov.uk and from Northern Ireland RC-AWS-N-38X0mailbox@mod.gov.uk Successful schools will be told in January 2020, with payments made in March/April 2020.

Did you know you can now request a smart meter from your energy provider for your Service Family Accommodation (SFA)? Housing contractor Amey is also working with energy company SSE to have smart meters installed in all empty (void) SFA by the end of 2020 as part of a national programme to install them in all domestic properties.

CREDITS TO CLAIM

l For more information, visit gov.uk www.armyandyou.co.uk

FUNDS UP FOR GRABS

l Interested? Visit gov.uk

GETTING SMART

l To find out more, see ameydefenceservices.co.uk

The tax-free childcare scheme offers up to £2,000 per year per child in tax relief on your childcare costs. You can receive tax-free assistance costs up to £10,000 per year if you have children aged 11 or under, with parents of disabled children up to age 17 able to claim up to £4,000 per year.

You can use your online childcare funds on approved childcare, breakfast and after-school clubs, registered nurseries and childminders.

Both parents need to be working at least 16 hours per week and meet the earnings threshold.

However, if one of you earns more than £100,000 per year or your children don’t live with you, you won’t be eligible. You also can’t claim if you receive working tax credit or child tax credit. l Check out HMRC’s online calculator – gov.uk/child care-calculator – or apply at gov.uk/tax-free-childcare autumn 2019 Army&You 13

ialist yment spec AFF’s emplo west th u and so Laura Lewin hardson ic R a n or Jen co-ordinat ilies Jobs Forces Fam promoting

FEATURE

JOINING FORCES FOR JOBS

S

POT a vacancy, fire off your application, job done. If only finding work was that simple, writes Jill Misson. When you’re part of an army family it can feel like the cards are stacked against you.

Will they ask when your partner is posted? Are you lacking skills after moving around? Can you manage childcare with no family close by?

Tilly Lambert feels stuck in entry-level jobs. She said: “It’s a nightmare. We move so often, usually around the time you’d look to promote, so I never get the chance to take that next step.

“I now have a patchwork CV and it looks very unappealing to employers.”

Barriers

AFF understands that army spouses find it challenging to maintain meaningful employment or access training. Employment & training specialist Laura Lewin said: “These barriers can have a

14 Army&You autumn 2019

significant impact, from affecting the spouses’ confidence and sense of identity, to the financial impact on the family with the reliance on the salary of the service person.”

In June 2018, AFF published a tri-service report which revealed that 45 per cent of spouses and partners surveyed had reported a perceived discrimination when applying for a job.

Lizzie Barstow admitted to A&Y that interviews can be tricky: “It’s difficult to know whether to be honest with employers,” she said.

“Some know they will have to start the recruitment process again in 12-24 months and are reluctant to do that. I got asked where I see myself in five years’ time – a very straightforward question for someone not associated with the military, but because of my husband’s job I have absolutely no idea.”

Amy Peak studied hard to upgrade her professional qualifications but still

encountered resistance from employers. She said: “I passed with excellent grades, but when I applied for jobs, I was either told that there was someone else who could guarantee being reliable or they questioned how long I’d be able to stay in the job.

This had a huge impact on my self-confidence.”

Forces Families Jobs

A new online one-stop shop for employment and training opportunities is launching on 17 September. The Forces Families Jobs platform is being delivered

by AFF, working with the Naval and RAF families federations.

You’ll be able to register a profile and search for jobs by sector, salary range, role type and location, both in the UK and overseas.

“We wanted to make sure the platform supports everyone, no matter what stage you are at, from writing a CV to career advice and training,” said Laura.

“You can find out about local events, insight days and personal development opportunities.

We’ve also engaged with anyone working in the spousal employment support space.”

Joining forces

One strong relationship is with the Supporting the Unsung Hero business support programme at the University of Wolverhampton.

Project manager Sarah Walker said: “We are proud to be a key partner and the ‘go to’ organisation for start-up support for spouses.”

Unique selling point

Any employer wishing to advertise on Forces Families Jobs must have signed the Armed Forces Covenant.

Organisations can tailor their own pledges but may offer flexible working, opportunities to transfer your job on posting or additional leave for periods of deployment.

National Express Group @ArmyandYou

Left to right: Amy Peak, Tilly Lambert and Kirsty Mickelburgh have all encountered employment issues due to the mobile nature of service family life

has introduced a guaranteed interview scheme, not only for service leavers, but also for partners and spouses of those currently serving, which helps you get over the first hurdle in applying for posts.

One major employer already on the site is Amazon UK. Gillian Russell, the firm’s military programme manager, said: “We’re very excited about having an avenue to directly advertise our military programmes, initiatives and jobs.

“We know there are so many candidates who will be a fantastic fit for Amazon and hope that our involvement will encourage other employers to see the value in this population and that they too will commit to developing programmes for the untapped potential in forces families.”

Working for an Armed Forces Covenant signatory can make a big difference to your experience as a member of staff.

Army spouse Emma BarbourJohnston, who works for UK Power Networks, said: “When my partner was deployed for six months, my boss was absolutely great at understanding that my leave would need to be flexible because R&R dates and flights www.armyandyou.co.uk

ow Lizzie Barst sband u h and her

I got asked where I see myself in five years’ time – a very straightforward question for someone not associated with the military, but because of my husband’s job I have absolutely no idea can change.

“I’ve heard stories of people going through the wringer to get extra days off when their partner has come home from serving our country. They haven’t been swanning off in the sunshine and it’s stressful enough.”

Military spouse Kirsty Mickelburgh is looking forward to using Forces Families Jobs to help her find work when she moves back from Cyprus.

She said: “I’ve been using my time over here to add to my qualifications. I had worked as a sales assistant in the UK but there was no flexibility when my husband was on tour or courses.”

Another unique function of the

Forces Families Jobs website is the option to search for roles in organisations that have received an award for the support they offer to the service community.

Natalie Haynes from Defence Relationship Management explained: “We work with employers to adapt their HR policies and practices, ensuring they make robust spousal employment pledges and we appraise and reward this work via the Employer Recognition Scheme (ERS).”

Guidance on building the Forces Families Jobs platform was given by Gold ERS-winning recruitment company Manpower.

Jeremy Hay-Campbell, head of

corporate affairs, said: “We’re committed to supporting the wider defence community and with our expertise it made perfect sense for us to provide our insight to help make this project happen. This is the first time that family members from across the services have had one place to go to find work from employers who are aware of their needs.

“With links to training and other advice we hope the platform can have a real impact and make a real difference.”

Check out forcesfamiliesjobs. co.uk from 17 September and keep an eye on AFF’s social media for more – @The_AFF #ForcesFamiliesJobs &

AFF THANKS OUR FORCES FAMILIES JOBS FUNDERS & PARTNERS: Annington Trust ABF The Soldiers’ Charity Broadbean Defence Relationship Management Manpower Group Royal Air Force Association Royal Navy & Royal Marines Charity University of Wolverhampton

autumn 2019 Army&You 15

EMPLOYMENT & TRAINING

Start-up success T

HROUGH the pages of Army&You, we consistently showcase military spouses and partners who are running their own businesses whilst living army life.

As AFF prepares to launch Forces Families Jobs (see pages 14-15), we spoke to Sarah Walker, project manager at the University of Wolverhampton, which has helped many of those companies through its

Supporting the Unsung Hero (SUH) business start-up programme.

“The University is proud to sponsor Forces Families Jobs in support of spousal employment,” she said. “For more than six years it’s championed spousal education and employment initiatives, working closely with the MOD and families federations to influence policy. The SUH community network is very supportive and has

up a paint brush for 15 years until 2016. A drawing class reminded me how much I love it, so I started drawing children and pets of friends on the patch, and from that came my first commissions. I’ve since set up a non-profit fine art school.

Daisy Rogers, Artist and tutor West Hampshi re School of Art

ABOUT ME I’ve been an army wife for 10 years; after six moves we settled in our own home with our three sons.

FITTING IT WITH ARMY LIFE My husband went on a tour last year and amongst the family dramas that seem to happen when your soldier leaves the country, I started the art school from my kitchen! I’ve made the most of his post-tour leave to really focus on the business.

STARTING MY BUSINESS After A-Levels I had planned to study art, but life took a different path. I hadn’t picked

MY TOP TIP Surround yourself with positivity, but also those who will give you honest feedback.

ABOUT ME I’ve been married to a soldier for ten years and we have three children. I’ve always had an interest in the beauty industry.

Gemma Riste, Beautician The Beauty Lounge

16 Army&You autumn 2019

STARTING MY BUSINESS I used our posting to Germany as the catalyst and converted our cellar into a beauty salon.

But as is the way with army

made a positive impact on the lives of many of our members.”

The SUH programme continues to grow and its training course and mentoring programme, sponsored

by HSBC, is delivered free to forces families in the UK and overseas.

So, what’s it really like to be selfemployed and juggle all that army life can throw at you? We met a few military spouses to find out…

ABOUT ME Stacey and I have been together for 16 years and have two daughters. After leaving school I worked in an abattoir whilst she went through basic training.

STARTING MY BUSINESS When Stacey fell pregnant, I trained to be a plasterer and after a few years I became self-employed. I’d worked here and there and built a good reputation. Then recently everything took off and I needed to find guys to work alongside me – my business became a limited company this April.

FITTING IT WITH ARMY LIFE My biggest challenge is starting again every time we move. I see

life, two years later it was time to return to the UK. I had to re-establish my business almost from scratch and I’ve now renovated a former post office into my own salon.

FITTING IT WITH ARMY LIFE There have been tears, laughter and uncertainty, but with some stubbornness and

Robbie Sturman, Plasterer RS Plastering & Rendering Services Ltd it as a positive because it got me away from my home town and helped me to better my career. The army has always helped Stacey with any dramas such as childcare problems and time off.

MY TOP TIP Don’t hesitate to give it a go.

Failing is all part of learning.

determination, the salon is now award-winning.

MY TOP TIP It’s easy to use the instability and transient nature of forces life as a reason not to follow your dreams. If the opportunity allows, the circumstances are right and you’re prepared to take risks, go for it. @ArmyandYou

in schools, for a charity combating addiction and been an AFF co-ordinator.

Nic Kellock, Counsellor Talkmoves Counselling

ABOUT ME I’m married to an army chaplain, and this month we’re moving for the fifth time. I’ve worked

ABOUT ME I’ve been an army wife since 2004 and had no idea what I was letting myself in for!

I’ve been an estate agent, corporate event manager and have worked for an investment bank; nothing particularly transferable.

STARTING MY BUSINESS I needed something which I could fit around the children; I didn’t want to go back to an

STARTING MY BUSINESS My passion for counselling developed years ago around the kitchen table where spouses spoke honestly about their struggles with military life, its isolation and relationship challenges. I studied a part-time degree in humanistic counselling.

Encouragement from my husband as well as support from friends spurred me on.

office environment.

I did a short course in picture framing before taking the plunge, initially as a hobby before growing the business into a full-time job which I love.

ABOUT ME I joined the army as a single mum to my three-year-old boy and served for five www.armyandyou.co.uk

MY TOP TIP Sign up for free courses, join social media and surround yourself with people who believe in you.

Kate Herbert, Picture framer Well Hung Framing

FITTING IT WITH ARMY LIFE I hate losing my clients whenever I move, but I love being able to ‘down tools’ for a few weeks when the family are all at home. By the same

years. I also met my now husband, a corporal in the REME.

Jess Smithers, Coach and business mentor Jessica Smithers Coaching

FITTING IT WITH ARMY LIFE Finishing the course seems incredible to me given that I was juggling work, four children and my husband on an op tour. Passing the course was a high point and now I will be able to offer professional therapy wherever we find ourselves.

STARTING MY BUSINESS I was pregnant at the time I was posted and moved alone with my son. I fell into a state of loneliness and depression and began to think there had to be another way. It led me on a journey to becoming a neuro-linguistic programming practitioner,

token, I take on loads of work when they’re away.

MY TOP TIP Do your research and choose something that you feel passionate about.

mindfulness coach and business mentor.

Harriet Westcott, Business owner Cover Me Baby

ABOUT ME I’ve been a military wife for eight years. We’ve had three children and seven house moves.

STARTING MY BUSINESS Having left my job as a primary school teacher to be a stay-athome mum for five years, I got to the stage where I needed to get my baby brain working again. I wanted to create a multi-use baby product to allow parents like me to carry less stuff around. I found a manufacturer and Cover Me Baby was born in 2018.

FITTING IT WITH ARMY LIFE My children are my priority and squeezing everything into an already busy day is full on. Being in a military community is an advantage as everyone helps each other out.

TOP TIP Make the most of the many people and resources out there to help you.

GOT A BUSINESS OR A START-UP IDEA?

FITTING IT WITH ARMY LIFE I get the best results when I’m 100 per cent focused on one thing at a time. When we moved house, I told my clients I’d be taking the week off and then resumed the business as normal.

X-Forces Enterprise x-forces.com

MY TOP TIP Find a mentor who you can connect with. There needs to be a mutual bond to know they are the right one.

Forces Enterprise Network facebook.com/groups/FENBusinessSupport

Heropreneurs heropreneurs.co.uk Royal British Legion britishlegion.org.uk Military Mums in Business @militarymumsinbusiness (Instagram) The InDependent Spouse theindependentspouse.co.uk

Supporting the Unsung Hero Start-Up Programme wlv.ac.uk/supportingtheunsunghero autumn 2019 Army&You 17

It focuses on offering education and training opportunities that provide a pathway to employment.

WorkSkills explorer courses take an indepth look at different employment sectors and give you a realistic idea of what they will be like to work in.

GETTING YOU WORK READY

AFF has teamed up with Wiltshire College, Army Headquarters South West and Wiltshire Council to create Project JEMS to help service family members in the south west of England into work.

GET UP TO SPEED For those of you who need to brush up on functional skills, Project JEMS offers an opportunity to study online, with dedicated tutor support and regular drop-in sessions.

If you’re not able to attend a course in person, you can take advantage of distance learning in fields like health and social care, professional

development and childcare.

There are facilities at Bulford, Larkhill and Tidworth – and, wherever possible, courses are free to eligible candidates.

Online courses may have a small charge.

To access funding, you must be aged 19-or-over, have lived in the EU for a minimum of three years and not be receiving any other funding for education.

Project JEMS is one of many training providers included on the Forces Families Jobs website.

Find it under the training and career support tab at forces familiesjobs.co.uk or contact the team at businessdevelopment@ wiltshire.ac.uk or 0845 345 2235.

At Home in London Treat the family to a sightseeing trip to London - with so many exciting things to see and do they’ll just love it. As an enlisted member of Her Majesty’s Armed Forces, you have exclusive access to the Union Jack Club.

With comfortable rooms and a relaxed and friendly atmosphere, you’ll be staying with other people just like you.

020 7928 4814 www.ujclub.co.uk

Dedicated to Outstanding Service for Enlisted Members of Her Majesty’s Armed Forces

18 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

JOIN OUR HAPPY FAMILY

EMPLOYMENT & TRAINING

ACE THE INTERVIEW

Interested in advertising in Army&You? Visit ayads.co.uk email info@tylerbale.co.uk or call 01252 714870

With employers actively seeking service spouses and family members through the new Forces Families Jobs website, we’re hoping that many of you will make their shortlists. When you get to the next stage, how do you nail the interview? We asked Recruit for Spouses, the social enterprise that helps military spouses find work, for its advice…

TAKE THE TIME TO PREPARE

It’s essential. Good recruiters will know which candidates have taken the time to do their research and can tell if you’re trying to wing it.

MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION

You can start before you turn up for interview by creating a cover letter and tailored CV. Ensure you’re smartly dressed and be ready with a good handshake and engaging smile.

DON’T THROW OUT STOCK ANSWERS

Commonly asked questions like ‘tell us a bit about yourself’ look simple, but you still need to demonstrate an understanding of the job requirements. They’re an opportunity to explain how you match the position, the company culture and demonstrate your motivation.

WINTER ISSUE HITS ARMY HOMES ON NOVEMBER 18

PRACTICE YOUR ANSWERS

An interview often includes behavioural competency questions where you’re asked to give examples of when you’ve demonstrated skills such as communication, planning or problem solving. Practise talking these through so you’re fluent but not scripted.

DON’T BE NEGATIVE

The interview is not the place to be sharing your bad experiences.

You want to be honest, but going into too much detail will leave the decision makers with doubts. An interview is the time to be positive about your experiences.

Clean, clear communications

BE SPECIFIC

If you’re looking for a new challenge then explain what that involves.

It’s common to be asked why you left your last job; the interviewer is gathering information about your decision-making process and what motivates you.

From managing social media to penning press releases and writing and publishing entire magazines, TylerBale enables businesses, charities and other groups to tell their stories

CHILDCARE ARRANGEMENTS

efficiently and effectively.

Your childcare arrangements are no one’s business. Good recruiters won’t ask this question; they’ll make sure every candidate knows the requirements of the job – hours, work patterns and shifts etc.

Whatever your communications needs, get in touch with our friendly team to discover how we can help you get your message across.

LEAVE A POSITIVE LASTING IMPRESSION

Consider having a 30-second pitch or statement to explain why you’re suitable. Remember to focus on the information that recruiters need to make the decision.

t. 01252 714870 e. info@tylerbale.co.uk

l Find Recruit for Spouses on the Forces Families Jobs homepage at forcesfamiliesjobs.co.uk or go to recruitforspouses.co.uk www.armyandyou.co.uk

tylerbale.co.uk

TYLERBALE COMMUNICATIONS

autumn 2019 Army&You 19

SUPPORTING LITTLE FEET A

RMY spouses Lindsey Edgell and Amy Wilson came to BATUK, Kenya alongside their serving partners and saw how different life was for the local community.

They heard many reports of children needing footwear and after visiting schools and orphanages to see for themselves, witnessing many children with ill-fitting shoes or no shoes at all, they decided to do something to help.

“We knew that some of these children had to walk miles in these shoes and we thought it would be a worthwhile cause if we could give a little comfort,” explained Lindsey. “As mothers, we know the importance of growing feet and having the correct sized footwear to support healthy growth, but these children had shoes that were falling to pieces and causing blisters or crippling toes.”

Amy added: “There are so many areas of poverty here and

we wanted to make a difference somehow. We had heard stories of children accepting shoes that were too big or small just so they had something to wear, so this is where the idea started.”

The pair decided to ask for support from friends and family in the UK and began by speaking to the community engagement team at BATUK to gauge how receptive they were and how the idea might be received.

“Having got the green light from them, we sent out a plea on Facebook and received amazing support with people asking to send shoes or donate to the cause. And so Supporting Little Feet was created,” said Lindsey.

Community support

Lindsey and Amy created a Facebook page with details on how to donate and posted updates about the project.

With so many donations coming in, they’ve appreciated the help from the military

WORTHY WINNERS Lindsey and Amy are our autumn Community Champions and win a Monty radio and Bluetooth speaker (RRP £99.99), one of VQ’s latest releases and the winner of a Which? Best Buy Award.

Designed in the UK and featuring a real wood case, our 20 Army&You autumn 2019

community to get stuck into sorting, pairing and sizing the shoes, as well as scoping recipient locations to ensure the donations were getting to the children most in need.

“The community engagement team has been a great help in finding new schools and orphanages to go to and giving us support as we try to visit places that are not normally used to receiving donations,” explained Amy. “By doing this we know we are helping children and families who really need it and raising the profile of BATUK and the army in harder to reach areas.”

The future

“We want Supporting Little Feet to carry on by passing it on to new military families when we leave but thankfully that’s not for another year for myself at least,” said Lindsey.

“As we all know, kids’ feet grow fast and we feel it’s something

Lindsey Edgell (right), pictured with former AFF Kenya coordinator Nicola Green, has been providing shoes for children in schools and orphanages

that can continue to be a great project for BATUK.” Nicola Green, an army spouse and former AFF co-ordinator in Kenya, said that Lindsey and Amy have done a ‘wonderful job’, including encouraging newcomers to Kenya to accompany them to schools to see the difference they are making in local communities.

“The project has bought the BATUK community closer to the local community and has offered families in both the UK and Kenya the chance to make a real difference in a child’s life,” explained Nicola. “This has all been done in their own time and, with their dedication and hard work, they have gifted more than 1,000 shoes.”

Find out more at facebook. com/supportinglittlefeet &

winners will have five different finishes to choose from. Monty is an acoustic dream with a powerful 10W speaker providing room-filling sound with unparalleled audio quality. Our winners will also receive a rechargeable battery pack worth £19.99.

VQ has offered a £30 saving specially for Army&You readers, just visit MyVQ.com and use code MONTY30 at checkout. @ArmyandYou

EXCLUSIVE

#OurArmyFamily Whether married or single, parent, partner, cousin or child of a soldier, we want you to tell us all about your army family. Follow #OurArmyFamily on social for more stories Jill Horn and her serving husband Simon have been together since 2007 and an army family since 2010. They’ve lived in eight different houses in England, Scotland, Germany and most recently Australia and have two children, Sophie (7) and Angus (4).

Both children have lived in almost as many houses as the years they have been born.

They enjoy the adventure that moving house often brings.

Army life is unique and whilst often challenging, has allowed to us to experience living in other parts of the world and make some great friends.

What’s important to us is embracing

the opportunities army life brings rather than being bogged down by the challenges.

Since having our children we’ve become more involved with patch life.

We’ve found making friends with other army families a source of help and support – particularly when Simon is away. We rely on our

military family as much as they rely on us and we all work together to help each other out and look after each other’s children. This has been very important to us considering the large distances from our actual family during overseas postings.

Our current posting in Sydney, Australia has been an amazing experience.

It has allowed us to see some truly wonderful places – we’ve loved the outdoor lifestyle.

This posting will be hard to beat.

I think it’s important to get out and about in the area you live in – explore as much as you can.

Use social media prior to arrival as a useful source of information and to make friends.

I have been a part of the Military Wives Choir for a number of years and found this to be a brilliant way to meet people and get involved. &

GET INVOLVED: Do you and your loved ones want to share what makes up your #OurArmyFamily? Send your details to editor@aff.org.uk www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2019 Army&You 21

YOUR HOME

ARE YOU COVERED?

g schools and getting There’s so much to consider when moving house, from findin it’s easy to forget about allto know the neighbours to dog-proofing the garden, that alist, has this advice… important insurance cover. Cat Calder, AFF’s Housing Speci

CONTENTS INSURANCE

Insure your belongings so that if anything is damaged or lost you can afford to replace it. Amey will only pay compensation if negligence can be proven and, even then, depreciation will be taken into consideration, so your own insurance is vital.

LICENCE TO OCCUPY INSURANCE

In the event of a house fire or flood where you’re shown to be at fault, you have a liability of up to £20,000 for repairs. Militaryspecific kit and contents insurance companies should already include this, so check before you take out a separate policy.

REMOVALS INSURANCE

Check your policy covers you for the type of journey your belongings will take on the move. Don’t assume that the removal company will pay for damage unless they can be shown to be negligent and,

STORAGE INSURANCE

again, depreciation will be taken into consideration. Many military-specific insurers will have transit cover as standard so check your current cover before looking elsewhere.

If you’re going overseas and your belongings are going into storage, you’ll need to make sure they’re properly insured. Read the small print carefully as most will not insure against damp or mould damage.

See our article on page 52 for more insurance tips.

OTHER INSURANCES

With our unique military lifestyle, it’s also worth considering pet, travel and life insurance.

To find forcesfriendly insurers, visit siiap.org

MORTGAGE

ADVICE

INSURANCE

ADVICE

HELP TO BUY

ADVICE

w: affs.co.uk/AY E: info@affs.co.uk T: 01797 364666 Your home is at risk if you do not pay your mortgage or any loan secured on it. Registered in England Company No: 4839655. Armed Forces Financial Services is a trading name of TIMC Independent Financial Advisers Limited which is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority No 439451.

British Armed Forces Camouflage Image Amanda Reynolds, Ministry of Defence photographer

22 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

shot’s ph in Alder The Cenota ardens Municipal G

YOUR HOME

RECOGNISING RELATIONSHIPS A change to policy means that if you’re unmarried but in an established, long-term relationship of more than 365 days, and your soldier has completed more than four years’ service, you’re now eligible to apply to live in surplus Service Family Accommodation (SFA) at your soldier’s UK duty station. If you’re a soldier who has residential responsibility for a child and you already live in SFA (PStatCat2) and fit the above criteria, you can also apply. Although it’s great news for families, there are strict criteria to follow. What does it all mean?

HEADING TO ALDERSHOT? HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU’RE posted to the Aldershot Future Accommodation Model (FAM) pilot site after 31 January next year, you’ll experience a different housing allocation process.

There’s new a policy in place.

Here’s a brief guide: Firstly, check you’re eligible

SURPLUS SFA

This means spare SFA in an area, however, just because you can see a few empty quarters, it doesn’t mean they are surplus. In order to have enough houses for entitled families coming into an area, there must be enough empty SFA at any one time, but if there are more than are needed, then they’ll be surplus. Not all duty stations have surplus.

It’s worth noting that should surplus SFA be needed by entitled families in the future, you’ll only be given 28 days’ notice to vacate.

ELIGIBLE VS ENTITLED

Entitled: you have a right to be allocated a property at your soldier’s duty station Eligible: you can apply for SFA but have no automatic right.

LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP

If your relationship is less than 365 days, your soldier can record you and any children on JPA. Once you’ve been in a relationship for more than 365 days from the date of registration, you can establish the relationship by completing the relevant form along with the required evidence If your relationship is more than 365 days, complete the relevant form and submit it along with the required

www.armyandyou.co.uk

documentary evidence It’s your soldier’s responsibility to provide the necessary evidence There’s no change to your allowances.

EXAMPLES OF SUPPORTING EVIDENCE You’ll need to provide: A signed declaration Documents over 365 days old, such as joint bank account, joint tenancy agreement, life insurance showing the partner as the beneficiary, proof of joint responsibility for a child Documents less than 90 days old to show enduring relationship Photos from social media will not be considered enough evidence.

Once your relationship is established you can then apply for surplus SFA at your duty station.

AFF encourages all families considering moving to surplus to think about the effect on the family if you’re subsequently posted to an area with no surplus SFA – make sure that you save for this possibility to enable you to rent privately again.

➜ Four or more years’ service.

Posted to Aldershot after the pilot goes live on 31 January, with more than a year to serve

➜ Single, married, in a civil partnership, in an established long-term relationship or responsible for entitled children who will stay for more than 80 nights per calendar year.

If you are eligible, you’ll have a choice of living in Service Family Accommodation, Single Living Accommodation or private rental, or you can buy a new home in Aldershot. You’ll also receive support to live in your own home if it’s more than 50 miles from the garrison.

Allocation in the pilot focuses on need not rank. However, if you choose SFA you’ll retain your current entitlement.

WHICH OPTION IS BEST FOR YOU? Ensure your choice is financially viable by visiting the MOD’s Discover My Benefits tool at discovermybenefits.mod.gov.uk From November your soldier can complete an Accommodation Preference Form on JPA, the defence intranet.

Once your preference is confirmed, you’ll be informed of the next steps and you can speak to the FAM eCell for information and guidance.

MORE INFO

For details on how to apply, your soldier can look at JSP 464 volume 1 part 1 chapter 1. Any problems, email Cat Calder at housing@aff.org.uk &

➜ Watch the FAM videos and read more by searching future accommodation model on gov.uk (also see JSP 464 volume 4).

autumn 2019 Army&You 23

yan baked dy’ Kath R ‘The cake la n 2015-18, kes betwee 154,000 ca ar for ,000 per ye including 26 also as h its. She hospital vis ames in G s tu ic v e In attended th and Sydney da, Toronto ri o Fl , n o d Lon

THE CAKE LADY Kath Ryan, affectionately known as ‘the cake lady’, has been bringing home comforts to injured soldiers for more than ten years. It started when she was visiting her sister in Selly Oak Hospital Birmingham and had brought baked treats to cheer her up. Kath’s sister shared them with the injured soldiers, and they asked for a slice of the action. Since then Kath visits wherever injured troops are moved to and it’s amazing how far a cake and hug can go. We found out more about her story…

P

UTTING a smile on the faces of injured servicemen and women has been part of the pleasure for Kath. “It shows the simplest of things can brighten someone’s day, and worth the effort to bake

24 Army&You autumn 2019

and visit,” she said. “It makes me smile too.”

Chris Blackburn, who has benefited from Kath’s hospital visits, agreed: “We come back injured and lighter than when we left for operations.

“Kath comes in having baked cakes out of her own money, in her own time, to give us a treat and lift our spirits. From personal experience I can tell you this lady is awesome.”

Despite being described by the soldiers as a legend, Kath remains incredibly modest. She explained: “They are a true inspiration, overcoming the odds, showing such courage, perseverance and determination on their recovery journey, and I’ve been so privileged to be part of it.”

PART OF THE FAMILY For the soldiers whose families live far away, Kath has been like a mum. “I’m in a very privileged position that I visit the hospital and rehab so there’s a continuity for those recovering, and it’s wonderful to see them improving on each visit,” she added.

“For those whose families are in other countries, I might be their only non-military visitor. I know it cheers them up and they will often send me messages asking for cake lady visits.

“I get invited to weddings,

christenings and various events and I’m treated like part of their family, which shows the cake round is a big part of their recovery.”

Hospital staff have also seen the difference Kath’s visits have made. A nurse on the ward said: “The cakes are a brilliant way of getting extra calories into them.

“Not only is it a great source of morale, but helps with wound healing and mental health recovery.”

Parents too have found comfort from Kath’s support.

Jane was with her injured son at Fisher House Birmingham when she met the star baker.

She said: “When my son eventually came out of intensive care, we had several weeks when he was not at all well. He was in pain, tired, and frustrated.

I was in the corridor when this vision in a Union Jack dress and a jaunty HMS Cakes sailor’s hat swept up.

“The nurses thought it would do him good to see her, so she went in with her trolley laden with delicious cakes.

“It was the first time that he’d smiled since he arrived; she @ArmyandYou

genuinely communicated with him in a way that we had failed to do. It was a real turning point.

“Later, when he was moved to Headley Court, Kath came into her own for me. I was alone in Norton House one damp dark evening in November. We’d had some bad news regarding my son’s recovery, and I was feeling very fragile.

“Kath arrived, having done her cake round, took one look at me, gave me a huge hug, and said she’d be back in a minute.

She came back with a bottle of wine and a bag of crisps and held me while I cried and told her all my worries. I shall never, ever forget that night.

“Kath is always there on the phone to support me. She is an absolute gem and I don’t think I could have coped without her.”

Rob Bugden, who is currently serving and undergoing rehabilitation, added: “What can I say about this incredible woman, what she does and how

much it means to us all?

“I first met Kath after being injured in a parachute accident.

She kept turning up to see me with a smile, fresh orange juice and my favourite triple chocolate brownies.

“She quickly became a friend to me and my family. Not only has she helped me at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Headley Court and Stanford Hall, she also made regular visits during my darkest hours at the National Spinal Injuries Centre at Stoke Mandeville.

“Just to be able to take your mind off what has happened over a cake and a hug has and will be the most vital part of my rehabilitation.”

RAISING AWARENESS Kath’s work has received some fantastic recognition and she’s appeared on Surprise, Surprise, Australian TV and received a Points of Light award. But for Kath it’s all about raising

awareness for those who are prepared to put themselves in harm’s way for us.

She said: “Not only do they get injured in conflict zones, but on special missions, accidents and then there are those battling cancer too.

It’s important to remind the public that they still need our support. It’s Patients at Headley Court show their gratitude not headlines during Kath Ryan’s 100th visit to the facility now but those coming to hospital still need to feel valued and cared about.” cabin fully equipped and Kath plans to keep her baking totally accessible, where I can going for as long as she can and teach small groups to bake, has already thought of ideas for and we can enjoy the cakes of the future: “The guys often ask if our labours.”

I would teach them to bake and I would love to be able to, but I Cakes 4 Casualties relies don’t have the facilities. on public donations. Find out “My dream is to have a log more at cakes4casualties.co.uk

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autumn 2019 Army&You 25

red with pson, pictu Louise Sim all encourages her family, that they make sure women to r screening ce n e for ca find the tim

MAKE IT A PRIORITY MY MOTHER died of breast cancer when I was 17 – she was 43. She was raised in an orphanage and didn’t know her family history so when I turned 40, I was advised by my doctor that I could request annual mammograms, writes army spouse Louise Simpson.

The process was difficult – I had to have counselling before the health service agreed and being forced to contemplate your mortality when you have small children is no easy thing.

However, I got through it and committed to having checks on a yearly basis.

The problem was that each time we moved I had to start the process all over again – I couldn’t transfer the permission because each new location did

26 Army&You autumn 2019

things differently and it felt like each time I had to prepare a sales pitch for the right to have this done.

We moved four times during my 40s. Each time was the usual upheaval: leaving friends, making new friends, sorting out the houses, settling the children in and finding a new job. Let’s face it, the needs of an army spouse often come a long way down the list of priorities. And if I’m going to consider my needs then I am totally up for a facial but could really do without having my breasts smashed into a metal press!

So, I let it slide, along with the cervical smears. And once I got past the age that my mum died, I felt a little more invincible and it became easier to drop it.

Clearly this story is only going

“My advice to anyone reading this is to find the time for screening.

Push through all the needless bureaucracy that makes being an army spouse just that little more difficult. It could be a game changer!”

in one direction – last summer I found a lump. The NHS were truly awesome and very quickly I was diagnosed with several different breast cancers (when I commit, I really commit!) and a month later I was recovering from a mastectomy. I spent the next six months getting treatment and reconstruction and will now be on drugs for the foreseeable future.

I’m not suggesting that this was avoidable, but I do question how less severe my cancer would have been if it had been spotted earlier.

So, my advice to anyone reading this is to find the time for screening. Push through all the needless bureaucracy that makes being an army spouse just that little more difficult. It could be a game changer! & @ArmyandYou

Screening: what you need to know AFF has been working for some time to ensure army families have the right access to screening. Karen Ross, shares her advice…

BREAST cancer is the most common cancer in the UK with approximately one-ineight women diagnosed with it in their lifetime.

Screening can save lives and allow for early detection and treatment and a better chance of recovery.

In the UK, women aged 50-71 are invited for breast cancer screening every three years. But there’s currently a trial offering some women aged 47-49 and 71-73 extra screening.

HIGH RISK SUPPORT If, like Louise (left), you have a strong family history of breast cancer you’ll probably be identified as high risk.

You’ll usually be invited for screening before you are 50.

Your GP may also refer you to a high-risk clinic that may offer you genetic testing and yearly MRI scans or mammograms, but this will vary with age and level of risk. Men can also be high risk, if there’s a strong family history of breast cancer in a male or female family member.

KEEPING ON TOP OF APPOINTMENTS As Louise mentioned, it’s not always easy to keep track of when you should be having breast screening and often it takes time to even register with a GP, so you may miss out on the invitation.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

SCREENING TOP TIPS ✚ If you think you’re eligible, speak to your GP ✚ Keep any screening documentation, so you can transfer this if you move ✚ If you’re posted overseas, it may be a different process.

Defence Medical Service practices should offer you breast cancer screening in line with the NHS, but host nation provision will differ ✚ If you’re unable to access screening overseas, you can be flown to the UK but it must be agreed by your healthcare provider first. If you have a strong family history of breast cancer or know you are high risk, discuss an overseas posting with your GP and during the medical pre-screening process (see page 28).

CERVICAL SCREENING In the UK, cervical cancer is the fourth most frequent cancer, but the most common cancer in women under 35. A free five-minute test is offered on the NHS and can prevent cancer by detecting precancerous changes. If you are female and under 25, you’ll receive a letter inviting you for screening up to six months before you reach 25. If you are 25-49 you’ll be offered screening three-yearly and five-yearly between 50-64.

Results are sent within two weeks and if you’ve

missed your invitation, you don’t have to wait, you can contact your GP to request a test. If you’re experiencing unusual symptoms, discuss it with your doctor.

Sinead Calvert, forces spouse and gynaecological consultant oncology radiographer for Gloucester NHS Foundation Trust, said: “Disappointingly, this year we have had the lowest uptake of women taking the cervical cancer screening test nationally.

“Reasons include being scared/embarrassed of the procedure, forgetting to book an appointment or thinking the test isn’t necessary after a human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccination. As a forces wife, I understand the challenges our lifestyle presents. The upheaval of a posting and the planning to ensure there’s minimal disruption to the family, is huge.

“Cervical cancer, if detected early, can be treated and cured. Book your screening test today and tell your family and friends to do so too.”

birthday. From the 20192020 school year, boys aged 12-13 should be eligible for vaccination. It is, however, important that even girls who have had the HPV vaccine access cervical screening from age 25.

If you’re posted overseas, you may need to research what screening will be available before accepting the posting. This is important if you’ve had any abnormal tests or require ongoing treatment. &

USEFUL LINKS SEARCH ‘BREAST SCREENING’ AT: NHS England nhs.uk/conditions/breast-cancer-screening Northern Ireland cancerscreening.hscni.net NHS Scotland nhsinform.scot NHS Wales breasttestwales.wales.nhs.uk Cancer Research UK cancerresearchuk.org Breast Cancer Care breastcancercare.org.uk FOR CERVICAL SCREENING, SEARCH: NHS England nhs.uk/conditions/cervical-screening Northern Ireland sexualhealthni.info

HPV

NHS Scotland healthscotland.scot

Sinead is also keen to raise awareness of HPV vaccination that will be extended to pubescent males from next year.

Currently girls get a free NHS HPV vaccine from the age of 12 up to their 25th

NHS Wales cervicalscreeningwales.wales.nhs.uk HPV nhs.uk/conditions/human-papillomavirus-hpv/ Karen is available for any enquiries at additionalneeds@aff.org.uk

autumn 2019 Army&You 27

PRE-SCREENING PREP If you’ve been offered a posting outside of the UK, it’s important to understand the pre-screening process that will be required before you’ll be given clearance to go overseas…

SINCE April all medical prescreening for families posted to overseas locations will be conducted through the Global Medical Supportability Cell (GMSC).

Once you’ve been informed about an overseas assignment, your soldier should contact MSS Families Section and you’ll be sent medical questionnaires to complete.

These are returned to the GMSC for assessment by the doctor there.

If you have a medical condition or require medication, they’ll contact your GP, with your permission, for further information.

A recommendation will then be

made to the chain of command on whether your medical needs can be supported in that overseas location.

It’s really important that the medical questionnaire is answered honestly and in detail, because if you arrive in your new overseas location and cannot be supported, you may well be returned to the UK. Sarah, whose family is being assigned to Kenya later this year, said: “We’ve been through the pre-screening process using the new supportability unit and it was a totally seamless process.

“The Families Section advised us to each fill out a 16-page document.

Although it was time-consuming, it was easy to complete.

“Within the space of about three hours, we had received an email from one of the doctors saying we were fully supportable.”

There’s currently work being

d You can fin ils all the deta k at aff.org.u

done by GMSC to create a more robust appeals process, so that if it’s recommended that you cannot accompany your soldier overseas, you can challenge this.

Your soldier will be able to access JSP 770 Chapter 2A, which has information on both the medical and educational pre-screening process.

If you or your family member has a medical condition, additional needs and/or a disability it’s important for you to read AGAI 108 and complete Annex A, so that your serving partner’s career managers are aware of any support you may require.

Any problems, send an email to Karen Ross at additionalneeds@aff.org.uk &

My name is Kelly Johns and I am a Specialist Insurance Consultant for the Armed Forces. My job is to scrutinise the market to find bespoke insurance products that suit your needs at the price you want to pay.

I can organise a face-to-face interview at work or at your home, I will listen carefully to your requirements and set out a range of available options in jargon-free, plain English.

This meeting will be most valuable if: l You have just joined l Your personal circumstances have changed l You haven’t reviewed your current policies for a period of time l You are unsure of what current provisions you have in place.

Please call, email or text to arrange an appointment at a time that suits you.

28 Army&You autumn 2019

Contact: Kelly Johns Email: kellyjohns@themilitarygroup.com Phone: 07710664475

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HEALTH

MAKING FAMILIES Experiencing fertility problems can be tough, but forces couples can face additional challenges, such as time spent apart and house moves. Here, schoolteacher Charlotte and her serving husband Andrew share how their baby Nathaniel was helped into the world by clinics 500 miles apart…

A

NDREW and Charlotte had always wanted children – with Charlotte picking her career because of her love of youngsters – so shortly after marrying, the couple started to try for a baby. After a year or so with no success, they underwent fertility tests, but these came back with no concerns.

A few months later Andrew was transferred to Inverness and, as they were still young,

30 Army&You autumn 2019

their new GP suggested they carry on trying for a baby naturally for two more years: “After this time, we underwent testing, which came back as unexplained infertility. Although frustrating, it did mean we could be referred for NHS IVF treatment," explained Charlotte.

“Our treatment started at a clinic two hours away in Aberdeen. It seemed to go well, but when my eggs were being harvested, I started to bleed.

I had to be transferred to a

hospital overnight.

“We produced 17 embryos, ten of which were good quality. From these, seven were frozen and one was transferred to me. After all this, I was shattered when ten days later I started bleeding.”

Moving south

Shortly after, the couple were posted to Salisbury and wanted to continue their IVF treatment at Oxford Fertility (oxfordfertility. co.uk), but they were shocked to learn that NHS England

won’t take embryos frozen in Scotland. Rather than abandon their embryos and risk Charlotte reacting badly to another egg collection, they decided to pay for private treatment.

“The team at the clinic were fantastic,” said Charlotte.

“They felt that it made sense to use the existing good quality embryos, and avoid the egg harvesting that caused me problems last time. They arranged for the embryos to be safely transported the 500 @ArmyandYou

miles. At £500 this seemed good value compared with restarting a fresh IVF cycle.”

Despite further setbacks, the couple remained hopeful and after a holiday, yoga, mindfulness and visits to a counsellor, Charlotte was feeling healthier and positive.

Third time lucky

Two frozen embryos were transferred and this time they were overjoyed to see the ‘pregnant’ sign shining back at them following a test: “Our early scan showed that both embryos had started to develop, but when it came to the 12-week scan, only one had continued to grow," said Charlotte. “My pregnancy went well, although at 37 weeks my ‘bump’ had turned into a breach position, which meant a caesarean birth.

“Nathaniel is everything that we dreamt of. We’re experiencing the joys of having a child. We both come from close families and can now give that to our baby. www.armyandyou.co.uk

“Although our journey has been hard, I would do it again. I’m glad we explored every option; we’ll never wonder or regret anything.”

“Although our journey has been hard, I would do it again.

I’m glad we explored every option; we’ll never wonder or regret anything.”

AFF’s advice

Karen Ross, AFF’s Health & Additional Needs Specialist, has this advice for any forces couple looking at fertility options: “Army life often involves mobility with regular moves across the UK and overseas. The MOD recognises that this can create disruption and interrupt medical care.

“IVF is one of the provisions that can be affected. In order to prevent this happening, the MOD has written the Assisted Conception and Fertility Policy to support geographical stability whilst undergoing assisted conception treatment.

“It’s strongly advised that you read this policy if you’re considering assisted conception treatment, particularly if you know that you may be assigned to another

country or location at some point during or after treatment.

Your soldier will be able to access the policy [2016DIN01052], via the defence intranet.

“When undergoing IVF treatment, most providers will consider frozen embryo transfers as part of the same treatment cycle, so this means you can have as many transfers as required depending on the number and quality of the frozen embryos.

“NHS England will not fund transfer of frozen embryos from another country, so if you do decide to move prior to having frozen embryo transfers, you’ll have to consider what you will do with the frozen embryos you have stored.”

For further information on assisted conception support, including information for those living overseas or in the devolved nations, visit the health pages at aff. org.uk or contact Karen at additionalneeds@aff.org.uk & autumn 2019 Army&You 31

POPPING ON A PINNY Carver Barracks in Wimbish is an isolated countryside location on the Essex/Cambridge border. Claire Hallam, AFF’s East Anglia co-ordinator, often visits to chat to families and the welfare team. She’s always amazed at the range of community groups, all run voluntarily by families…

The groups include ‘potluck’ nights, where everyone brings a different dish, spouses’ PT sessions with their own crèche, homework clubs and more.

Claire explained: “Pinny’s is one of the groups at the community centre that I’ve been lucky enough to visit.

“Each Monday families pop on their pinnies and transform the community centre into a popup tearoom – with china cups, floral displays and the most amazing cakes.

“They also hold pop-up events in the evenings and in schools.”

Jaide Hooson, one of the cofounders, said the group was started to welcome families and provide something a bit different to the traditional coffee morning concept.

“We give people name badges when they come in, so everyone gets to know each other.”

The group has been hugely beneficial for the community.

Jessica Mayner-Bowers said: “It takes you back to when everyone shared time together and enjoyed each other’s company.”

And Jaide agreed: “No-one ever sits alone at Pinny’s; everyone gets involved.

“The soldiers bake on a Sunday evening for it and, for spouses that work, we leave gift bags on their doorsteps with cake, so no one feels left out.”

To find out more, visit Pinny’s pop up tearoom on Facebook. &

NUFFIELD CENTRE ~ ANGLESEY ~ NORTH WALES TRI-SERVICE FAMILY HOLIDAY ACCOMMODATION WITHIN MINUTES OF THE SNOWDONIA NATIONAL PARK

Watersports

Family Accommodation

Location, Location, Location

Indoor Climbing Wall

As a recognised RYA Training Centre, we offer Sailing & Powerboating courses as well as sailing taster sessions. We now also offer Paddle Boarding & Kayaking taster sessions.

A family of up to 6 people can enjoy any of these activities as a half day taster for just £100. Or experience a leisurely sail on our Cornish Shrimper.

We have nine affordable ensuite rooms suitable for couples and families. Prices start at just £26 per night for a small room up to £38 per night for our largest room offering 2 double & 4 single beds. There are two fully equipped kitchen diners and a large family lounge. For the more adventurous, we have a campsite too.

Mountain walks, beaches, climbing, coastal paths and beautiful scenery are on your doorstep. Together with many, many visitor attractions suitable for the whole family and adrenaline filled activities like ZipWorld and Adventure Parc (Surf) Snowdonia, there is lots to see and do whilst you are here.

The Indy Climbing Wall offers beginners and experts alike facilities one expects from a modern indoor climbing wall - climbing & bouldering walls, taster sessions, a cafe, shop and a friendly relaxed atmosphere.

Nuffield families can experience a fully inclusive 1.5 hr taster session (up to 2 adults and 3 children) for £55.

www.nuffieldanglesey.org.uk 32 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

Want to find out more? Visit .org theripplepond YOUR FAMILY

THE RIPPLE EFFECT Established in 2011, The Ripple Pond is a UK-wide self-help peer support network allowing adults with physically and emotionally injured service personnel and veterans as relatives to meet people in a similar situation. We spoke to member and army spouse Sophie to find out more…

SOPHIE’S husband was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in 2015 and later labelled complex.

She said: “Things seemed to change quite quickly for our family as his symptoms became severe. I’d never experienced anything remotely similar and I couldn’t think of anybody on a personal level who I could turn to for advice. I felt quite out of my depth.

“The GP wasn’t really able to help us, so I took to the internet and found a veteran’s mental health charity, where my husband started treatment.”

Sophie was told about The Ripple Pond through her husband’s treatment programme for some peer support. She explained: “I’ve been a member for four years now. I was immediately welcomed and made to feel ‘heard’.”

THE RIPPLE EFFECT

It’s a comfort knowing there are others who are in the same situation. “There’s a 24/7 forum that I can easily access if I need it, as well as face-to-face local groups,” said Sophie.

The Ripple Pond has three avenues of support – group meetings, a ‘buddy’ system and a private Facebook page.

The groups are kept small with a maximum of six members, ensuring participants can share and be heard. They run monthly depending on need and are facilitated by a member of The Ripple Pond.

The buddy system puts members in touch with one another, so regardless of whether there’s a meeting in your area, you can still access face-toface support.

The private Facebook page is a members-only, judgementfree space to share stories, celebrate a

www.armyandyou.co.uk

good day or commiserate after a bad one, regardless of the time.

There will always be someone around to comment and support, which Sophie has found beneficial: “I’ve met some amazingly strong people in the Facebook group who I feel personally connected to now. I know that anytime I need to post, whether for advice or to share personal things, there are people there to support me.”

If you’re caring for a loved one with a military-attributed injury, remember to take care of yourself.

For Sophie this has steered her through some tough times: “The Ripple Pond has helped me build my own strength. It makes me feel valued being able to help other members and give advice when I can too.” &

HELPING YOURSELF

Forces families often don’t recognise the underlying stress they cope with.

Helping a loved one with an injury is unique and personal. The Ripple Pond sets out to support the silent party of trauma in the military, the family members who live alongside it and are trying to make sense of it.

to Sophie has been able gth’ by en str n ow r he ild ‘bu nd joining The Ripple Po

autumn 2019 Army&You 33

WE’RE LISTENING AFF decided it was time to understand more from families about the unique challenges service children face and the contributions they make. In our recent survey, we asked you about your children’s experiences and opinions on many aspects of army life. Here’s a snapshot of the results...

THE POSITIVES

CHALLENGES

✚ Many of you said that army life offered your children the opportunity to make new friends from different cultures and backgrounds

✚ You commented on the impact on your child’s mental health, citing issues with anxiety, loneliness, bullying, low selfesteem and low confidence

✚ There was a sense that it helps build your children’s resilience, confidence, tolerance and adaptability

✚ The impact of mobility led to a sense of uncertainty, distance from extended family and having no roots

✚ 40 per cent somewhat agreed with the statement “I feel positive about being part of an armed forces family and community”.

✚ 34 per cent lost close friendships due to a posting – difficulties making new ones was a significant negative.

“Both of my children are resilient, confident, and accepting of differences. They have lifelong friends that only lived locally for a short period, but now travel great distances to meet up.”

“The children get very sad when having to leave their friends. It takes a long time to build strong friendships, then it gets torn apart and they have to start all over again.”

34 Army&You autumn 2019

FRIENDSHIPS ✚ 69 per cent of children experienced difficulties making close friendships at a new posting ✚ Almost four out of every five felt lonely or isolated due to a move ✚ You wanted less frequent postings and more effort from schools to help children settle in, with more activities on the patch to allow children to meet each other.

“I don’t see the point of making friends anymore when I know I’m going to leave and they’ll forget me.”

GAPS IN LEARNING ✚ Almost half of you stated that your child has experienced a gap in their learning ✚ Of these, a quarter said that the impact was severe ✚ Many of you stated that gaps or repeating topics also affected your child’s mental health and wellbeing.

“Having gaps in knowledge has damaged my son’s self-esteem.

Instead of thinking ‘I don’t understand this maths because I’ve never learnt it’, he thinks ‘I’m stupid/terrible at maths.” @ArmyandYou

IMPACT ON THE FAMILY ✚ 90 per cent of you either often consider, sometimes consider or have decided to leave the army due to the impact of service life on your child ✚ Some of you felt that the chain of command, local authority and the MOD were not currently listening to the views of parents ✚ Almost two thirds of you turn to other parents with your concerns.

“If I had known the effect it would have on my children, I would have given my husband the choice - us or the army. You can’t have both!”

WHAT’S NEXT?

SUPPORT ✚ Many of you were concerned about the time it took to gain access to child and adolescent mental health services, leading to delays in receiving a special educational needs diagnosis ✚ Some of you have paid privately for support due to long waiting lists

✚ 52 per cent felt that schools don’t use the SPP to provide effective pastoral support ✚ There was a concern that the SPP was often absorbed into the main budget with no targeted use for service children ✚ You want more transparency on what the money is used for.

✚ There were comments about the inconsistency of provision.

“Constant changes in posting mean no continuity of care, always going to the back of the queue, fights for referrals every single time.”

We’ll continue our focus on the ‘service child’s voice’ in partnership with the Service Children’s Progression Alliance at the University of Winchester so that our children are instrumental in informing future change to policy.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

SERVICE PUPIL PREMIUM (SPP)

BOARDING SCHOOL ✚ A significant number of you commented about the importance of Continuity of Education Allowance (CEA) to provide stability, stating you would leave if it wasn’t provided ✚ Many of you felt boarding had been the only solution to mitigate the impact of multiple moves on your children ✚ There was significant concern about the change in eligibility for CEA in sixth form.

“Some schools are very effective with pastoral care. However, some use the premium to benefit all students and may miss those service children who are in need.”

Activities throughout the rest of this year will provide a wider understanding of the life of service children amongst teachers, local authorities and education practitioners.

A final report will be published by the University

“How can continuity be achieved if a child who has been boarding since age eight is disallowed sixth form and forced to attend a new school? This concern will affect my future posting choices.”

of Winchester, which will allow us to make recommendations to improve support for service children, and ultimately improve their progression and outcomes.

Look out for updates at aff.org.uk

autumn 2019 Army&You 35

Girls and Boys, Day and Boarding, Nursery to Sixth Form

Opportunity We develop and instil timeless values of community, integrity and opportunity in all our pupils

Pay only 10% of the fees, around ÂŁ1,000 per term* *This applies to Service Families who are eligible for the Continuity of Education Allowance, entering the School 2020/21. Additional means-tested support, subject to availability, may be offered to families who lose the CEA.

www.habsmonmouth.org/forces

Charity No. 525616

SHEBBEAR COLLEGE

Providing a fine education for 179 years Independent day and boarding school For boys and girls aged 2 -18 Day and boarding school Weekly, flexi and full boarding Excellent academic results 85 acre rural campus in North Devon

www.shebbearcollege.co.uk 36 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

mary Wallop Pri Pupils from ools h e of the sc School, on the Test in ch y’s wat under And ire of Hampsh Valley area

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?

I chair the education sub-group of the civilian military partnership, which meets termly.

This group is at the forefront of driving improvements and we now have district network groups across Hampshire and the Isle of Wight that bring school practitioners together on a termly basis. These groups are an important means of disseminating information, sharing good practice and working together.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS IMPORTANT FOR SERVICE CHILDREN IN SCHOOL?

EDUCATION & CHILDCARE

HELPFUL HAMPSHIRE Hampshire has a large forces population, with more than 6,000 military pupils on roll in its schools – comfortably the highest number of school-aged children from a service family background in the country. As a result, Hampshire County Council takes its responsibility to ensure their needs are met extremely seriously. We caught up with its lead officer for service pupils, Andy Heyes, to find out more…

WHAT’S YOUR ROLE?

Over the past four years, I’ve developed strong links with external agencies including the University of Winchester, the MOD and Directorate of Children & Young People,

MOD SCHOOLS: THE FUTURE FOLLOWING the drawdown from Germany, the MOD’s Directorate of Children & Young People (DCYP) has been undertaking a review of its future MOD schools and early years settings in Germany, Cyprus, Brunei, Gibraltar, the Falkland Islands, various European Joint Support Unit locations and Queen Victoria School (boarding) in Scotland.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

AFF and the other families federations, key organisations and charities. We all work collaboratively to improve the provision in schools for service children and ensure they achieve as well as they can.

If your children are currently schooled in these locations, you should have already received a letter informing you of progress and answers to frequently asked questions.

In the letter, Mike Cooper, director of DCYP, stated: “Please rest assured that the expectations for delivery and standard of education will not change; this is not a costsaving measure. This is simply an opportunity for us to continue to ensure that we provide highquality education at best value for defence.

“While there may be some changes in the future to how we best deliver education, there

We know from research that service children don’t want to be treated any differently from their non-service peers. However, they want someone they trust in school who understands their unique context, the challenges they face and who will be there for them at key times. They may need support during transition, when one or more parents are deployed, in times of bereavement or if they are a young carer.

We work closely with schools to ensure they use the service pupil premium effectively to support children pastorally in times of need.

HOW DO YOU MONITOR THEIR PROGRESS?

We track the progress and attainment of service children very carefully and there’s still more that we can do. Our recent report showed that as service pupils grow up, their relative attainment in comparison to nonservice, non-disadvantaged pupils weakens, and the gap grows negatively. We know that mobility and deployment impact on the achievement of service children and, as a local authority, we must find even more ways of supporting schools to get better results.

Your children deserve it!

Want to know more? Contact AFF’s education specialist Jilly Carrell at ec@aff.org.uk &

are no current plans to change where we are located nor the standard of the education we provide now.”

This is an ongoing project, so keep an eye on AFF’s website (aff.org.uk) for updates.

Remember: If you have a posting to any of these locations on the horizon, don’t withdraw your child from their current school or setting until you’ve received educational clearance confirming the availability of a place in the overseas location.

autumn 2019 Army&You 37

A co-educational, non-selective independent school set in a 56 acre campus in Somerset

CHALLENGE

INSPIRE

NURTURE

We’d love to meet you at one of our Whole School Open Mornings: Saturday 5th October 2019 9:30-12:30 Saturday 1st February 2020 9:30-12:30

www.tauntonschool.co.uk

REGISTERED CHARITY NO. 1157842

Follow us @TauntonSchool

Contemporary Catholic Co-educational 3-13 Boarding & Day

Open Morning

Saturday 21st September 2019 Register at opendays@farleighschool.com

www.farleighschool.com Red Rice, Andover, Hampshire, SP11 7PW

Boarding discount for HM Forces

38 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

d’s r chil Is you that going ort school s to upp e il m extra ren? child r service ke you you li d l i ou e W ur n to feat l oo ct h c s Conta ture? s fu the detail ou for Y & k y Arm .org.u d@aff at depe

School report

ools worldwide show our Army&You highlights the support that sch ding to Scotland... military children. This edition, we're hea How does the school help service children settle in?

their We always try to give new pupils and des inclu h families a warm welcome, whic a tour of the school before joining. On y arrival, each pupil is allocated a budd nd arou who helps them find their way and makes sure they have someone to play with. We also make it a priority to find out where new pupils’ learning is at by looking at records that come from their previous school. Where we ing identify any gaps, our support for learn te opria teacher makes sure that the appr assistance is in place.

What practical support do you give service pupils?

–a We are very lucky to have Place2Be in ort therapy service which offers supp e to-on a variety of forms such as oneand group play therapy – in school.

Place2Be also runs a drop-in service lar called Place2Talk which is very popu ly week a with service pupils. We also run are Welf lunchtime club, run by the Army for Service (AWS) and charity Children 1st, has it – service pupils and their friends proved really popular.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

Are there any military links?

As well as a good partnership with our local AWS community team, our head teacher regularly attends meetings with representatives from the military and ies organisations that support service famil build to keen ys alwa e We’r AFF. such as links as this can only be of benefit to our service families. This year, two of our military parents have been running y monthly coffee mornings to get famil ther. toge members

Are there are any special projects involving service children?

We’re excited to launch a new support team for service families in our and school as well as at Colinton Primary tive bora colla a It’s ol.

Scho Firrhill High 1st project between the schools, Children its in It’s . team ity mun com AWS and the ing early stages, but we have some excit and g tellin story ving invol ned plan projects ss. mindfulne

NAME OF SCHOOL Longstone Primary School LOCATION Edinburgh NUMBER OF SERVICE PUPILS 30 out of 280

What do the kids think?

e Katie said: “Longstone is very supportiv . army the in nts pare have who ren for child d: “It Longstone is awesome.” Abbey adde away is dad my long how er matt doesn’t as Longstone is always there.” &

autumn 2019 Army&You 39

CHAFYN GROVE Excellent Co-educational Day & Boarding School from 3-13

Open Mornings

Friday 4 & Saturday 5th October 10am – 12.30pm th

Encouraged to flourish

Forces Discount Available www.chafyngrove.co.uk

01722 333423

Chafyn Grove, Bourne Avenue, Salisbury, Wiltshire SP1 1LR 40 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

EDUCATI EDUCATION ADVERTORIAL

WORKING ON WELLBEING With the importance of positive mental health coming into ever-sharper focus, it is little surprise that Britain’s schools are placing wellbeing at the centre of their provision for pupils.

We asked education experts how they are developing children’s emotional resilience...

CHAFYN GROVE

chafyngrove.co.uk

THE ELMS elmsschool.co.uk

The Elms does not have “wellbeing” or “mental health” written on the walls around the school and no one person has a direct responsibility for these matters, writes headmaster Chris Hattam.

Positive project: Chafyn Grove pupils show off their ‘Flags of Thanks’ created with the help of the Sewing Soldier Lt Col Neil Stace (centre)

A

T CHAFYN Grove, the

appropriate period talks for girls

 Initiate, develop and sustain

mental health and

 Yoga sessions at lunchtimes

satisfying personal relationships

wellbeing of our children

 Encouraging and developing coping

 Use and enjoy solitude

strategies and resilience

 Become aware of others and

is as important as their physical health. Teaching children to look

empathise with them

after their mental health – and

The school places an emphasis

 Play and learn

giving them the tools to do so – is

on problem solving, positive self-

 Develop a sense of right and wrong

becoming increasingly important,

assessment, time for reflection and

 Face challenges, resolve issues and

writes headmaster Simon Head.

quality feedback.

setbacks and learn from them

Our staff use a variety of methods for

A range of extra-curricular

ensuring sound emotional health and

opportunities exist for children that

Embedding wellbeing into our

wellbeing for children, including:

enable them to extend interests and

curriculum is the goal, but we

talents beyond the classroom. So

organised a Wellbeing Week so that we

 Mindfulness sessions

far this year, more than 62 different

could be actively thinking about what

 Codes of conduct, developed from

activities have been on offer.

we do to support this idea.

our school motto

The delivery of personal, social,

We had several outside speakers,

 Clearly-identified rewards and

health and economic education is

including a session on fitness and

sanctions, understood by all

fundamental to our promotion of

growth mind-set run by Olympic

 Rewards for positive behaviour and

emotional health. Opportunities

basketball player Stef Collins.

achievement

exist to explore issues appropriate

 Setting appropriately

to children’s ages and stages of

‘I Can and I Am’, gave motivational

challenging tasks

development.

speeches to the students, including his

 Providing a forum for listening

James Shone, founder of the charity

We believe that emotional health is

personal story of overcoming a major

and talking, e.g. using circle time as

closely linked to mental health and that

setback, and led discussions on mind-

a tool for personal, social and health

as a school we can encourage positive

set and self-confidence.

education and citizenship

development of mental health in

 Encouraging co-operation and

childhood. Children who are mentally

visit from a cognitive behavioural

collaboration – such as Chafyn

healthy will be able to:

psychotherapist, introducing to the

Champs and The Chafyn Challenges

The week was concluded with a

children that mental health is on a par

 Developing social competence

 Develop psychologically,

with physical health and is all about

 Termly first aid lessons

emotionally, creatively, intellectually

thoughts, feelings and behaviour and

 Specific talks such as age-

and spiritually

demonstrating how they are linked.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

The reason for this approach is that we believe the very heart of The Elms encapsulates all of the virtues that promote wellbeing and positive mental health for both our pupils and our staff.

The space we have, the amount of activity, the peaceful moments in the day and a distinct lack of negative pressure on children “not to fail” lead to happy and healthy individuals.

All this is married to a community which values the individual and does not shy away from dealing with the challenges we all face.

autumn 2019 Army&You 41

SWANBOURNE HOUSE The only Co-educational Full Boarding School in Buckinghamshire

Nestled in 55 acres of beautiful countryside, Swanbourne House offers every child the opportunity to unlock their individual greatness. We impart a sense of value and self-worth to awaken a personal discovery of talents and passions.

3 - 13 Years

Full, Weekly or Flexi Boarding

Country School: Day & Boarding

Enrichment Saturdays Outdoor Learning

Sports and Games played daily Music and Perfoming Arts

LAMDA

Masterclasses

DT, Art and Science Centre Personal Tutors

Scholarships to leading Senior Schools

Rated 'Excellent' in all areas ISi Inspection, December 2018

Open Morning - Saturday 12th October For a private appointment and tour please contact admissions@swanbourne.org www.swanbourne.org

OFFERING ‘WRAP AROUND CARE’ & FLEXI BOARDING

LEARN • CREATE • EXPLORE WHERE WILL YOUR FUTURE TAKE YOU? Top quality boarding provision from age 7, with superb pastoral care Pick-ups available from Bath Spa Train Station Rated ‘excellent’ in all areas of our latest Inspection Report Over 100 co-curricular activities available with a reputation for sport Inspirational music, drama and creative arts Up to 20% discount for forces family

JOIN US FOR OUR 2019 OPEN EVENTS SIXTH FORM: Monday 23 September, 6.30pm to 9.00pm PREP SCHOOL: Thursday 26 September, 10.00am to 12.00pm SENIOR SCHOOL: Saturday 28 September, 9.00am to 12.00pm Book your place at www.kingswood.bath.sch.uk An Independent Co-educational Boarding & Day School for pupils aged 9 months - 18 years

42 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

EDUCATION ADVERTORIAL DAUNTSEY’S

dauntseys.org

Mark Lascelles, Head Master

Sam Moore, Director Adventure Education

Ann Jackson, Deputy Head (Pastoral)

Marcus Olsen, Director of Sport

“It’s easy to think of exam results,

“Adventure is an essential part of

“From the moment they arrive,

“‘A healthy mind in a healthy body’ is

sporting success or creative outlets

life at Dauntsey’s – not simply an

pupils are part of a community

as relevant now as it was when the

as the defining characteristics of

event but something that teaches

from which they will not only gain a

Roman poet Juvenal first coined the

a school – but without emotional

life skills and changes attitudes and

lot but to which they will also make

phrase almost two millennia ago.

and mental wellbeing, pupils

behaviours for the better.

an important contribution.

But today, when there are so many

cannot thrive. Our pupils’ wellbeing

“Our adventure programme is

“At the heart of our community

attractions, it is vital that sport is a

is at the heart of everything we

made up of two aspects: Accessible

is the House system, which

do. Stretch and challenge are

adventure consists of a programme

promotes belonging and collective

balanced by care, support and a

where large numbers of pupils have

responsibility. The network reaches

to a pre-mobile age, we can make

focus on individual needs within

short experiences that serve as

every corner of the School – a

sport and games something for

a community that knits together

an introduction to adventure. An

caterer might notice that someone

every child, of every age and of every

staff, pupils and parents.

example might be learning to kayak,

isn’t eating as well as usual or a

ability. Here at Dauntsey’s we aim to

camping in the School grounds or a

housemistress might see that a

help raise a new generation who are

night hike.

normally lively girl is listless. We

not only physically skilled and fit but

share this so that problems are

are also more confident, resilient and

dealt with before they escalate.

mentally tough.

“The key is to marry alertness with friendship, knowledge and trust, so that we can identify

“High adventure includes longer-

part of everyday life.

“While we can’t turn the clock back

potential issues as they emerge,

haul trips that involve relatively small

rather than waiting for a problem

numbers of pupils. Examples might

to develop. Some of those problems,

be participating in the Devizes-to-

know what the trends are within

teamwork and comradeship, self-

such as teenage angst, exam stress

Westminster canoe race or crewing

their peer group and can sometimes

discipline and how to deal with

and the tension between growing

our tall ship, Jolie Brise.

spot potential problems more

failure, along with gaining a real

quickly than staff.

sense of achievement. All of these life

individuality and social popularity,

“Younger pupils develop a passion

“The pupils are a great help: they

are as old as humanity. Others,

for adventure through accessible

such as strains that can be imposed

adventure programmes and this

encouraged to make the most of

“We have now banned mobile

by social media, are newer and

develops as they move up the School.

the many opportunities we have

phones in the Lower School during

constantly changing.

The results are remarkable. Pupils

here. Sport and adventure promote

school hours – they’re locked away.

who start as quiet types grow in

resilience; drama, dance, art and

The result has been transformative.

pupils to deal with whatever may

confidence and demonstrate great

music feed creativity; trips and

confront them, both now and in

resilience and good humour in the

visits set the world of school in a

or using social media during

life after school – and being there

face of adversity.

broader context. Importantly, all of

breaks, they’re playing football,

these activities build confidence,

table tennis or just charging about

“What matters is equipping our

to offer support and advice when

“Equally, the more confident ones

“To build self-esteem, pupils are

“Through sport, children learn

skills will stay with them.

“Instead of seeing pupils gaming

it’s needed. Our aim is to foster

learn to follow leadership before they

encourage tolerance and can

being children – the noise level has

confident, resilient and happy

are then able to provide leadership

promote the relationship between

risen considerably!”

young people.”

when needed.”

hard work and great results.”

BISHOP’S STORTFORD COLLEGE

bishopsstortfordcollege.org

BASED on the outskirts of a

for pupils to be known, valued and

woven into daily life. Pupils can, and

Edinburgh’s Award scheme, service to

picturesque market town, Bishop’s

nurtured as individuals. The boarding

do, pursue high academic standards

the community and opportunities for

Stortford College is one of the UK’s

community, fully integrated with

whilst enjoying and succeeding in

leadership. The College also nurtures

top 20 performing independent co-

day pupils, benefits from some of

many other interests. Every pupil is

a love of creativity that often remains

educational schools and consistently

the best facilities in the region. The

encouraged, taught and challenged

with pupils for the rest of their lives.

among the top 100 independent

infectious enthusiasm, imagination

to fulfil his or her potential by being

schools in the country.

and dedication of College staff, in

immersed in an environment of

to enable pupils to contribute

partnership with parents, enables

discovery and participation.

constructively to society, whatever

As three schools in one, the College is large enough to provide an

pupils to grow into happy, well-

exceptional range of opportunities,

rounded and caring young people.

whilst each part is small enough

www.armyandyou.co.uk

Breadth of experience is naturally

Teachers strive to balance academic

Bishop’s Stortford College aims

their chosen path; the College can

work with sport, music, drama and

truly support its claim ‘We Build

other activities including the Duke of

Confidence for Life’.

autumn 2019 Army&You 43

da ur

e NG 0am 1 om I elc RN from l W O er Al M ob N Oct PE y 12

O

t Sa

Lessons for life BOARDING & DAY SCHOOL CO-EDUCATIONAL 11-18

www.dauntseys.org ArmyandYou Autumn 2019.indd 1

23/07/2019 12:29:13

Up to 15% Forces Discount

OPEN DAY SATURDAY 21 SEPTEMBER 10 AM

Your child at our heart Contact the Registrar on 01722 555300 admissions@salisburycathedralschool.co.uk www.salisburycathedralschool.com CO-EDUCATIONAL PREPARATORY SCHOOL FOR CHILDREN AGED 3-13 44 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

EDUCATION ADVERTORIAL GORDON’S SCHOOL

gordons.school

FARLEIGH SCHOOL farleighschool.com

FARLEIGH School, a co-educational boarding and day prep school in Hampshire, is committed to ensuring that pupils emerge from their prep school years as secure, healthy and happy individuals, writes Headmaster Father Simon Everson.

The learning process should be an enjoyable journey, one where pupils take responsibility for themselves with the support and encouragement of their teachers, parents and peers. Mass and Working on wellbeing: Sixth formers at Gordon’s listen to Oliver Nutt speak about recognising and dealing with anxiety

assemblies reinforce the school’s warm and welcoming ethos which promotes

WIDELY acknowledged as the greatest

pupils to feel a connection to school, whilst

kindness to all. It encourages pupils to

modern challenge, emotional wellbeing is of

learning to take responsibility, building social

be confident about the person that they

paramount importance at Gordon’s.

skills and a sense of self.

are and to realise that their contribution

The school’s head of PSHE Anna Hutchings

is as valuable as the next person’s.

of whom are from service families – the co-ed

said that with increased stress levels around

This in turn builds mutual respect,

senior school in West End, Woking is particularly

exam time, students will talk about their need

tolerance, understanding and a positive

conscious of the need to promote the social and

for support or their worries about results. She

environment in which children flourish.

wellbeing of its students.

emphasised the importance of making them

Some level of mental health challenge at school

aware of where to access help.

Positive mental health is inextricably linked to the structural organisation

Ms Hutchings explained: “Sometimes students

of the school, which promotes pupils’

changes, such as moving up through school

can struggle separating their school and personal

personal and social development. In a

years, can be challenging and affect learning. The

lives. After being reprimanded by a teacher for

boarding school, the younger the child,

hormonal shifts of adolescence bring profound

the quality of their work, for example, it’s highly

the more important the relationship

emotional, intellectual and physical changes

likely that within a couple of hours, they will be

between the child and the principal

which shake the sense of self and identity

playing tennis or engaging in evening games with

member of staff responsible for them,

and relationships. The ‘teenage brain’ has less

that same teacher.

or any adult they trust and can turn

is inevitable. Even completely predictable life

ability to regulate emotion and impulse and

“To rely on that teacher for their academic

to. Living in a boarding community

feel empathy than in childhood. Added to these

performance as well as their emotional wellbeing

requires them to make quite grown up

‘normal’ pressures is the accelerating pace of

would be asking a lot from both parties.

choices, to be selfless and learn a sense

social change, including the rise of social media.

Those coming from military families, may have

“It was important when considering the school mentor position to recruit a specialist. Our

of independence.

Throughout the whole school there

further emotional factors after being uprooted

aim was to have somebody who could dedicate

are systems in place that ensure that

from country-to-country and school-to-school,

themselves to listening and offering support. We

all children are supported. These are

leaving friends and family behind.

wanted them to be able to offer targeted help,

evident in the friendships the children

and to have an open-door policy.”

have with each other, as well as the

All Gordon’s teaching staff receive training to understand the risk factors to wellbeing, and

Both day and residential boarders benefit

strong relationships with members

raise awareness about mental health problems

from a comprehensive pastoral and tutorial

of staff, be they teachers, form takers,

and their role in early intervention. In addition, a

system that supports them as well as creating a

matrons, boarding staff and support

full time designated school mentor is employed

supportive school and classroom climate.

staff. Staff understand and really know

Students are given the opportunity for

each child, treating each one differently

to provide both a listening ear and support.

mindfulness meditation and, through events

and encouraging them to maximise

counsellors in the school’s medical centre. They

such as ‘Feeling Good Week’, both staff and

what they are capable of achieving.

are also informed about online counsellors and

students show their appreciation for one another

support. Experts in mental health fields are

in the school community through ‘compliments

emotionally, additional support is

regularly invited to speak to students.

cards’ and flowers.

provided by specially trained members

Students can self-refer to one of the three

Robust policies and practice underpin the school’s values in areas such as behaviour, antibullying and diversity. As part of the curriculum,

Open communication with students’ parents and carers is actively encouraged.

“All the things we’re doing at school is to

For pupils who may be struggling

of staff who the children can talk to in confidence about any issue.

Managing the needs of pupils

PSHE combines a positive focus on wellbeing,

really try to encourage the students to look after

internally gives them a safe and secure

strengths and healthy choices.

themselves,” added Ms Hutchings.

environment in which to explore issues.

At Farleigh, we provide them with the

A peer mentoring scheme allows students to

“I think it’s important we don’t hide what’s

support others and model positive behaviours.

available. We can’t assume that just because

resources to manage, not only situations

In addition, there is ‘Pupil Voice’, a programme to

we’re doing assemblies on mental health that it’s

that may occur during their childhood,

allow consultation and involvement of all pupils

going to give the confidence to a child to talk to a

but strategies that will help in later life.

in making decisions about school life. It allows

member of staff.”

www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2019 Army&You 45

To read more from our panel of experts, visit armyandyou.co.uk/category/educationad

Home to some 230 boarders – more than half

Win

n a copy of The Enter our giveaway to wi a Reading Force Monster Who Wasn’t and for entry rules. scrapbook. See page three

HAVE FUN SHARING BOOKS

BOOK CLUB

CREATURE FEATURE The Monster Who Wasn’t, published by Bloomsbury, is available in paperback £6.99

In this edition’s Army&You and Reading Force Book Club, two service youngsters share their thoughts on The Monster Who Wasn’t by T C Shelley. Here’s what they had to say…

WYATT MCLAUGHLIN (10)

THIS IS a great book that I found very interesting.

It’s an awesome fiction novel and a great story for nine-and-up.

A boy-like creature, who was hatched in an underground world of monsters, finds a caring family who take care of him. The monstrous king of the ogres,

Thunderguts, is after him.

At the start, the creature doesn’t know who he is, but he finds out in the end. He takes the name Samuel from the dead grandfather of a boy who looks like him. Samuel goes on adventures against ogres, pixies, gargoyles, trolls and brownies, trying

to save his new family’s baby.

Parents would enjoy reading this book with their children, so long as they weren’t too young, because they may be frightened.

It’s a great book, and I think boys and girls would like it. I recommend it to anyone who likes adventure and mystery.

CAITLYN (11)

ME AND my family had a lot of fun reading this magical adventure.

My favourite part was when the baby giggled and it created a fairy.

I enjoyed how it was fantasy fiction and how the story was set out.

READING Force is the free shared reading initiative for forces families where you can share a book and talk about it, together at home or over Skype or FaceTime if separated from your soldier.

You’ll receive a free book and scrapbook to fill in with your thoughts, letters, drawings and photographs. It’s a fun way to keep connected.

Take part via your children’s school, HIVE, or register online at readingforce.org.uk

d If your children woul s for like to review book email the A&Y Book Club, rg.uk hattie@readingforce.o d ages with their names an

“MONKTON IS A

SMALL SCHOOL WITH A BIG HEART,

NURTURED BY A STRONG

SENSE OF FAMILY

AND A TRADITIONAL BOARDING ETHOS.” Open Mornings Senior School Saturday 14th September, Saturday 16th November, 10am–1pm Pre-Prep and Prep Schools Saturday 5th October, Friday 15th November, 9.30am–12pm An independent boarding and day co-ed school near Bath, England Pre-Prep, Prep & Senior 2–18 year olds

www.monktoncombeschool.com

46 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

Tasty careers (from left): ‘Lady Bakewell’ Lisa Barron; Emma Mackinnon-Pattison with colleague Nicola Scott; and veteran Chris Gillan have all gained employment in the food industry

FOOD

WORKING WITH FOOD Moving home frequently, coping with deployments and juggling family life are challenges that military families face finding work. Food editor AJ Sharp has been meeting some of the spouses who have found friendly and flexible employment within the food and drink industry…

Lady Bakewell

The Green Tree Cafe

Heroes Drinks Company

LISA BARRON

EMMA MACKINNON-PATTISON

CHRIS GILLAN

“If someone had said to me 18 months ago that I would be running my own cake business, I would never have believed them,” explained Lisa. “Lady Bakewell was sparked by a Christmas cake decorating activity during a wives’ get-together.

“I threw myself into the industry, enrolling in numerous courses, and the business was born.

“I love it because it brings out the artist in me and allows me to be a full-time mum to our two boys. As I work from the comfort of my own home, I don’t have to worry when my husband is away. It gives me great satisfaction.”

Emma owns The Green Tree Cafe in Larkhill. Despite having a small budget, she was able to buy the business using a loan from her parents and secure favourable terms and a long repayment plan from the seller. Now it’s a thriving operation and she employs four other military spouses. Emma runs her business to fit in with service family life: “I open from 8.30am3pm to work with school hours and we shut for two weeks at Christmas and during the summer holidays to spend time with our families. It gets me out of the house and gives me space from being a spouse and mother.”

Chris was discharged after sustaining an injury whilst working alongside the SAS. He couldn’t follow his planned career path into the police, but – with support from military charities – he started spiritmaking business, Heroes Vodka.

Today, 20 per cent of profits are donated to service charities, with the rest providing employment and training opportunities for injured veterans and military spouses. Now stocked nationwide at Asda, the vodka has won awards and Chris is looking to secure funding for a new distillery, but his commitment to veterans and their spouses remains at the heart of his business.

www.armyandyou.co.uk

After Staff Sergeant Johnstone was injured in Afghanistan in 2014, he and spouse Sioned were posted to a rural location in West Wales where food and drinks marketing jobs are hard to come by. Not wanting to turn her back on her career, Sioned negotiated a remote working agreement with Heroes Drinks Company to enable her to continue with her career whilst keeping the family together.

autumn 2019 Army&You 47

A love note to Germany

Katie Cole has lived in Gütersloh, Germany for the last three years. As her family’s time there comes to an end, she’s been reflecting on her experiences and what she will miss…

There have been lots of changes during my time here. Many ups and downs, swings and roundabouts – adventures and trials, incredible firsts and lasts, heartbreaking losses and the life-changing arrival of our son who ‘surprised’ us a year into the posting.

There are images I have permanently inked into my mind. From the beautifully clean streets and amazing scenery to pumpkin farms and parks that have formed the backdrop to many happy playdates.

I have so many photographs of these things, often uploaded onto social media for the rest of the world to bear witness to, but in truth I don’t need the pictures. They’re etched in my memory and there they will stay forever.

But Germany is more than aesthetics. I have found its people to be lovely and welcoming. From the lady in the bakery that gives my fouryear-old a cheese roll every time we see her – possibly to shut her up – to the staff in Lidl who smile politely at my awful, broken German and the nice gentlemen who work for Babcock and gaze at me blankly as my English sarcasm washes over them.

I have never encountered any rudeness or xenophobia and have always felt included.

What I will take away is the sense of community and camaraderie. I’ve made so many special friends. I think almost everyone who has lived within the BFG community would say the same.

48 Army&You autumn 2019

In three years, I have seen many people come and go – often like a turnstile, one in, one out.

I’ve said goodbye to people that I know I will never see again, despite good intentions, and I’ve made friendships that will last a lifetime, forged in shared experience.

Being a spouse to a military employee can be challenging, unpredictable and the extended absences are hard.

But those challenging times often reveal the true nature of a military community. Everyone pulls together and helps no matter what.

Families here have proven themselves to be so much more than neighbours. They have been my friends – kept me going when a deployment feels never-ending, helped me take care of my children and provided advice and solace during difficult times.

They are lighthouses and anchors, bridges and steppingstones, ports in storms and windbreakers of unshakeable quality. Strangers in a foreign land looking for common ground with others to share the burden that persistent change can invoke.

When we moved into our first quarter, I anticipated cliques of women, a hierarchy and perhaps even some sort of archaic initiation process.

What I found were people who welcomed me as one of their own and showed me

Katie and her army family have enjoyed the camar aderie and community they experienced during their time in Germany

the ropes without question or judgement. Just a lot of laughter and a lot of wine.

Of course, there are cliques, in a situation where people of all varieties and walks of life are put together, and I appreciate that my experience may not reflect that of others.

If I had to give advice to anyone who can’t seem to find their tribe, I would say go ahead and be the friend you want to find.

You have to put yourself out there, get involved and put in what you expect to get out. Friendships don’t always come knocking on your door – unless you have me as a neighbour who will just show up and invite myself in. It’s not easy when you’re new but it’s so worth it.

It’s small, every day kindnesses that add up to great friendships – the cups of

“What I will take away is the sense of community and camaraderie. I’ve made so many special friends. I think almost everyone who has lived within the BFG community would say the same.”

tea and playdate invitations.

And as we prepare for our next posting, I’m excited to meet new people with stories to tell and knowledge to share.

There’s always someone.

As the powers-that-be send us in different directions to tread different paths, the point of this note is to offer my thanks to all those in the BFG community who have made my time here so memorable.

The brilliant teachers, the men and women on the gate who greet me every morning and make me laugh; the Naafi workers, med centre staff, admin folk and the soft play friends.

The BFBS presenters whose voices have provided a sort of linguistic island in a sea of language I don’t always understand. To all of you, you’ve been wonderful.

To all the friends I have made here, as Rick famously says to Ilsa in the final scene of Casablanca “we’ll always have Paris”, to you I give my heartfelt thanks and say: “We’ll always have Germany”. & @ArmyandYou

REBASING

THE BFG REMAINERS As the bulk of families leave Germany for pastures new, AFF’s former regional manager Germany, Carole Rudd, tells us what life will look like for those staying behind...

“Here at AFF we’ve been incredibly proud to be part of the hard work that has gone into securing support and facilities for families remaining in Germany,” said Carole.

“Whilst the future footprint will look very different, not least in size, we’re confident it will remain a posting with families at its heart.”

Discussing the intricacies of this process with Commander BFG, Carole said he described the enduring presence as “the

drawing down of numbers, building a new capability, with a little bit of chaos in the middle”.

WHAT CAN FAMILIES EXPECT? Sennelager will be the main base for families.

Although medical support will decrease, there’ll be a screening process in place from the garrison medical team to support you and your soldier.

Health and dental care will be delivered in the normal way, backed by the

German health system where needed.

Attenborough School will continue to provide education from 0-11 years, with experienced teachers continuing in post to ease the transition for your children.

You are likely to live in Service Family Accommodation a short walk from Attenborough School, within the vicinity of Normandy Barracks, where single soldiers will also be accommodated.

Welfare support will be delivered from Normandy Barracks, the main hub of the community. The Naafi family store is remaining open and this is where you’ll find support organisations such as the HIVE, Army Welfare Service and the Royal British Legion.

AFF Germany staff have attended coffee

mornings for the enduring community and everyone seems happy.

If you have any questions, AFF Germany co-ordinator Lindsay McCran (germany

@aff.org.uk ) will support families until the end of the year.

There’s more information at aff.org.uk or at Sennelager HIVE. &

Support Show your

to the Armed Forces community and their families all year round with the Service Poppy Army Pin from the Royal British Legion’s Poppy Shop.

All profits from the Poppy Shop go to help the work of The Royal British Legion in its role of caring and campaigning for lifelong support to serving and ex-serving personnel and their families.

www.poppyshop.org.uk

www.armyandyou.co.uk

Service Poppy Pin Army £7.99 available at www.poppyshop.org.uk

autumn 2019 Army&You 49

A R R E CANB

A POSTCARD FROM...

David, Corina, Jack (16), Ciaran (15), Max (13) and Freya (11) tell us about their army family life Down Under in the Australian capital Canberra…

How long have you been an army family?

23 years.

Time in Canberra: Four months.

What's your quarter like?

Large and virtually brand-new with a small garden. Canberra is known as the ‘bush capital’, so gardens aren’t needed.

Are there employment/ training opportunities?

Yes – spouses can work out here and of course everyone speaks English, which makes working that much easier.

What about schools and childcare?

Freya attends a local primary school and has made some great friends. The school is

used to a transient international population due to the nearby military college, so she fitted in very easily. Our three boys are boarding in the UK but were very keen that we took this posting despite the distance. On posting we all flew out together over Christmas and they have joined us for their school holidays since. During their summer holidays it was winter here, but we planned a trip to the Gold Coast to make the most of the sunshine. The airline provided an unaccompanied minor service for the boys’ 24hour flight which gave us real peace of mind.

Where do service families get together and who supports you?

We’re integrated into the Australian system, so we’ve

made some great Australian friends. We are well supported by the British High Commission.

What about the costs?

Cost of living is high – especially food and cars but we receive Local Overseas Allowance to help compensate.

What are the best and worst aspects?

There’s so much to see and do, particularly here in Canberra where everything is 20 minutes away. The city is easy to drive around and surrounded by mountains,

bush and a gorgeous lake.

The weather is fabulous, and we have thrown ourselves into the outdoor lifestyle. That was one of the main reasons for coming out, to experience new sports and a way of life so different from the constraints that the weather in England often imposes. We have the national mountain bike park on Mount Stromlo behind our house and Lake Burley-Griffin ten minutes away to kayak on.

The only real downsides are the distance between us and our boys at boarding school, and the animals and insects that can bite you – but we have seen very few of those.

Would you recommend it as a family posting?

Absolutely – Australia is all about the outdoors and family. &

Want to share your experiences of army family life? Get in touch by emailing editor@aff.org.uk 50 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

Kim, pictured with son Oliver

UNIVERSAL UNIT If you’re in an overseas location where you don’t have access to in-country support, the Global Administration Unit (GAU) is there for you.

It provides unit HR services – known as J1 – to tri-service personnel and families posted overseas and primarily to roles such as defence attachés, loan service, exchange officers, liaison officers and service students.

The 15-strong team can help with things such as pay, allowances and casework.

GAU is currently led by Lieutenant Adam Coomer, Royal Navy. He said: “The overseas area is a complex and challenging environment in which to provide J1 support. The policy is written with UK-based personnel in mind, and there will be times where the allowances and entitlements are not clear.”

OVERSEAS

BATUS BABIES BENEFIT When a baby is born overseas, one of the first things forces parents tend to do is apply for a birth certificate so they can obtain a passport. For British army families living in BATUS, this process can take several weeks or even months. Liz Ellwood, AFF’s Canada co-ordinator, has been finding out how the process works…

DUE to misinformation from HMRC, some of you have been waiting for your child’s passport to be issued before making an initial claim for UK child benefit. In some cases, the delays have been significant, resulting in families being financially disadvantaged.

In one case, a family was aware that they could only claim three months of backdated contributions, but their passport application had been delayed.

New mum Jo explained: “We were worried that we were losing out on money that we would otherwise be entitled to if we were in England.”

After contacting HMRC and speaking directly with the child benefit team, Liz established that there’s an exception and HMRC don’t need to see the baby’s passport if either parent is British armed forces serving overseas. You just need to send claim form CH2 downloadable from gov.uk, the original birth certificate and ensure details of the BFPO address are on the documentation.

Liz advised: “Start the child benefit

www.armyandyou.co.uk

application at the earliest opportunity as payments will be backdated to the date initial contact is made and logged.

“Even if some information is missing and the HMRC processing officer has to contact you, back payments will be made from that first date of contact. HMRC advises that it can take up to 21 days to review a claim, but it will decide as soon as possible once received.

“We will continue to monitor this issue and will actively encourage HMRC to establish an armed forces champion or dedicated team to better support military families.”

Army spouse Kim, who has been helped by Liz, said: “Communicating with HMRC caused me stress as they misinformed me, asked for unnecessary information and were not fully educated on the armed forces. Thankfully I have finally been paid nearly £800 in child benefit.”

PRE-ARRIVAL

Your soldier is advised to get in touch with the GAU one to two months before they report for duty in your new overseas location, so they can complete relevant documentation to ensure pay and allowances are applied on arrival.

A top tip is to provide a civilian email address in case you don’t have access to the MOD system.

If you need help interpreting MOD policy, for issues such as nursery allowances or travelling between countries outside of the UK, Adam strongly encourages you to discuss your situation with the GAU as soon as you can, prior to making any arrangements or financial commitments.

This will enable the team to advise on the best course of action.

For information and queries, contact: Defence attachés JFC-GAU-PersAdmin-Team1@mod.gov.uk Loan service JFC-GAU-PersAdmin-Team2@mod.gov.uk Exchange, liaison and overseas students JFC-GAU-PersAdmin-Team3@mod.gov.uk

MYTHBUSTERS

The GAU only administers a small percentage of families based overseas, the majority of you have in-country support from your parent unit.

It’s not the chain of command – it only has an administrative function.

It doesn’t book pre-assignment flights or assist with in-country visas or vaccination advice – these are managed by DSCOM families section.

To find out more, contact Liz at canada@aff.org.uk &

autumn 2019 Army&You 51

for companies which have a global reach.

ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE

If your cover is provided by a bank as part of a package for a monthly fee, they frequently don’t cover outside of the UK or non-UK residents.

PET INSURANCE

Most policies arranged in the UK don’t provide cover abroad. Some can be extended to provide temporary cover for 120 days if you conform with the government pet passport scheme.

WHO CAN HELP? OVERSEAS

READ THE SMALL PRINT Not reading the small print is a common fault for many of us who lead busy lives, but it can also result in paying over the odds for products and services that you can’t access or are not eligible for, or missing out on benefits you are entitled to. Undeclared changes in circumstances can also invalidate existing policies. AFF’s regional manager overseas, Esther Thomas, looks at things to consider before you head abroad...

TRAVEL INSURANCE

Policies vary greatly from country-to-country and company-to-company. Many UK-based companies have requirements such as living in the UK for a period of time prior to a trip, or that the trip must originate in the UK. In terms of repatriation, many firms will only cover the claimant to be brought back to the UK from your holiday destination – not ideal if you are assigned overseas! If you intend to holiday within the country you’re posted to, check your policy as many exclude travel within your country of residence, or if you’re not using pre-booked and paid-for accommodation.

LIFE INSURANCE

The premium will be based on the circumstances when the cover was originally purchased.

52 Army&You autumn 2019

Whilst most policies will have worldwide cover, insurers will want to know if you intend to spend more than three months outside the UK. An overseas posting should be declared to prevent the policy being invalidated. Ask your insurer to confirm timescales and whether the country you’ll be moving to impacts on cover. Some will just insist that the policyholder maintains a UK bank account and address but for others it may be more complex or result in higher premiums.

FINANCIAL INVESTMENTS

Unless your financial adviser is authorised to provide investment services in that country, they’ll not be able to advise you. Even if you don’t want new investment services, your financial advisor has a

regulatory requirement to check the ongoing suitability of investment services with you on a periodic basis. For further info, visit aff.org.uk

MOBILE PHONE INSURANCE

Some companies only send replaced or repaired items to UK addresses.

HOME AND CONTENTS INSURANCE

Geographical restrictions can be frustrating if you want cover for property you have in the UK or for the possessions you have taken overseas with you. Some policies require the landlord to be resident in the UK.

VEHICLE INSURANCE

Insurance companies must be licensed to provide motor insurance in the country concerned so look

There are several specialist brokers for forces families overseas, which are usually either members of the Services Insurance & Investment Advisory Panel or the British Insurance Brokers Association (BIBA), or both. BIBA has signed the Armed Forces Covenant. Its Find A Broker service at biba. org.uk has a list of firms that can provide specialist solutions.

Forces insurance specialist Keith Frampton advised: “Whilst specialist brokers are more used to dealing with forces personnel based in Western Europe, some may be able to assist in the more remote locations.

“Even if they don’t provide the solution they should know where you should go for specific cover for that country.”

If you feel that you have paid for services whilst you were assigned overseas that you would not have been able to claim against or benefit from, it’s worth asking for a refund.

AFF is aware of several families who have received refunds from banks for monthly charges for packages against which they would not have been able to make a claim as they were not resident in the UK. In one case an army spouse received a refund of several thousand pounds, backdated over many years, just by writing a letter and quoting the Armed Forces Covenant. & @ArmyandYou

For more useful inf o or to contact the AFF F&C team, visit aff.org.u k FOREIGN & COMMONWEALTH

JUMPING EMPLOYMENT HURDLES If you’re a Foreign & Commonwealth family, there can be additional things to consider when looking for a job. Katherine Houlston, AFF F&C specialist, answers some of your concerns…

AS AN F&C SPOUSE, CAN I WORK IN THE UK?

Yes, if you have a valid visa which has been issued for more than six months. If there was a restriction on the ability to work in the UK, then it would say so on the visa itself. All spouses in the UK under the armed forces immigration rules are eligible to work in the UK. Here at AFF, we’re often asked for evidence that a spouse can work in the UK. There’s no such evidence available.

WHAT CHECKS WILL AN EMPLOYER CARRY OUT?

An employer will need to check the validity of your visa/Biometric Residence Permit (BRP) and will make a copy. If you don’t have indefinite leave, the employer will have to carry out followup checks before the expiry date of your visa.

WHAT IF MY APPLICATION TO EXTEND MY VISA HASN’T BEEN PROCESSED YET?

As long as your application was made prior to the visa expiring, your existing right to work will continue until it has been determined. This is called an ‘in-time’ application. Your employer needs to request a right to work check from the Home Office, which is done via the Employers Checking Service and should only take five working days. If the application was made after your visa expired, your right to work won’t continue because you’re then considered to be an overstayer. If you continue to work, you’ll be committing a criminal offence.

DO I NEED A BRP TO WORK?

No, BRPs have been issued in the UK to everyone granted permission to remain since July 2015. However, there are a significant number of you who were granted Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR) prior to this date who still have visas in your passports in the form of a ‘vignette’. There are also a large number granted either limited or indefinite leave during an overseas assignment and who were given a vignette, not a BRP. Vignettes will still demonstrate a right to work while they remain valid and whilst the passport remains valid. If your vignette is in an expired passport, you’ll need to apply for a BRP to work. However, the

www.armyandyou.co.uk

guidance issued to employers mostly refers to those with BRPs. The information about visas in passports is hidden further down the 2015 guidance and doesn’t seem to be mentioned at all in the 2018 guidance.

WHAT IF I HAVE INDEFINITE LEAVE TO ENTER (ILE) ON A VISA IN MY PASSPORT?

ILE is the same as ILR except that it is issued out of the UK and is unique to spouses of soldiers because they can count their time overseas as residence in the UK. Many Gurkha spouses have ILE in their passports. The vignette always has an expiry date that usually – but not always – matches the expiry of the passport. Although it remains valid, even after the expiry date on the visa most employers won’t employ someone who has an ILE which looks like it has expired.

In these circumstances we would recommend that you apply for a BRP card instead. If your ILE is in an expired passport, you’ll need to apply for a BRP to work.

HOW DO I GET A BRP IF I DON’T HAVE ONE?

Apply at gov.uk/biometric-residence-permits/ replace-visa-brp – if you already have indefinite leave, the cost is £229. If you have limited leave, the cost is £161. However, we would recommend that you contact us first before going ahead with an application.

WHAT RIGHTS DO I HAVE IF I FEEL I’M BEING UNFAIRLY TREATED?

Employers who fail to check the immigration status of an employee could be subject to a civil penalty of up to £20,000 per worker.

However, this doesn’t give them a right to directly or indirectly discriminate against you based on your nationality or race. If you believe that you’re been discriminated against by an employer, a prospective employer or an employment agency because of your race, you may bring a complaint before an employment tribunal, or an industrial tribunal in Northern Ireland.

You can find further information at citizensadvice.org.uk or acas.org.uk &

F&C spouse Trudy Agyei shares how AFF helped her...

“AFF was very helpful to me and my daughter when we applied for a visa to settle with my husband who is serving. We were refused twice but AFF stepped in and, with the right documentation, we were granted a five-year settlement visa. Thanks to AFF, my family has been united,” explained Trudy.

A month after coming to the UK, Trudy signed up with an online recruitment agency and applied for several jobs, securing an interview for a credit controller role with a company. “I started working in March this year. I’ve got a visa which allows me to work, so I didn’t have any issues – all I had to do was present my BRP and that was proof enough.

“One of my biggest challenges was getting my National Insurance number, which I’ve finally got. My husband couldn’t apply for the 30-hour childcare because of this, so we’ve been funding part of the fees since our daughter started pre-school. Hopefully we’ll get the 30 hours next term.”

autumn 2019 Army&You 53

Wherever you’re po sted to in Scotland, you can contact Jenn y at scotland@aff.org.u k

UK

Scotland: rural vs city Life as an army family in Scotland can be hugely contrasting depending on which part you’re posted to. Whether it’s the vibrancy of busy cities, or the remoteness of the Highlands, there are lots of reasons why a stint north of the border can be a great experience. We head to Kinloss and Edinburgh to explore the differences...

COUNTRYSIDE: KINLOSS

A

SMALL village in Moray, Kinloss is dominated by the barracks and has a primary school, shop and a pub.

Whilst you’re not exactly cut off, it does help if you can drive – Elgin is around twenty minutes to the east, then it’s 45 minutes in the other direction to busier Inverness.

According to families, the sense of togetherness is one of the biggest attractions. “It feels like a posting abroad as the community is so strong,” said army spouse Laura Goatham (pictured right).

“Many people stay here at weekends rather than visiting family, which means lots of gettogethers with friends.

“Everyone looks out for each

54 Army&You autumn 2019

other and I feel lucky that we’ve been able to live in such a beautiful part of the country.”

NEVER BORED

The houses at Kinloss are spread out over three sites, all good sizes with decent gardens and good access to the local school.

Some of the quarters have been sold off, so you’ll find both civilian and service families.

Off camp, there’s much to see and do. From white water rafting and dolphin watching, to scouts and craft clubs.

“We’ve skied, wild camped, zip-lined through forest, seen seals and walked Ben Nevis. My children are so free and it’s safe to play out,” added Laura.

“There are plenty of coffee

mornings in the HIVE, which has soft play and a games room too.”

Finding meaningful employment can be a challenge, although if you can face a long commute there are opportunities in Inverness. Laura doesn’t currently work because of limited childcare options, with few childminders in the area and oversubscribed wraparound school clubs.

CLASSROOM CONTRASTS

Laura admitted that her children’s experience of the Scottish education system has been very different to previous postings.

“My children are both in primary and there’s no formal testing or Ofsted ratings, which gives the school a more relaxed feel.

“They’ve been happy here, but I’ve heard we may have some catching up to do when we return to the English system.”

Army spouse Debbie felt it suited her children better. “It caters more to the needs of the individual child and is less prescriptive,” she said.

“Our summer-born daughter is the oldest in the class rather than the youngest.”

In fact, Debbie likes Kinloss so much that she’s bought in the area, explaining: “It’s not for those looking to party or go clubbing, but if you’re looking for a peaceful, outdoor life then it’s an ideal posting.” @ArmyandYou

together Families get ing orn m at a coffee h rg u b in Edin

BRIGHT LIGHTS: EDINBURGH SCOTLAND’S capital is a small city with a population of around half-a-million, which is boosted in the summer when tourists flock there for the festival fringe and military tattoo. Its culture and proximity to the Pentland Hills and stunning beaches, are part of its appeal.

Army spouse Claudia Jones explained: “Edinburgh has incredibly beautiful scenery, something that we all love.

“We are forever finding new places to go on dog walks.

There are a huge number of things to do with a young child; loads of activity centres, parks and attractions.”

THINGS TO DO Edinburgh has an excellent public transport system; the bus and tram are cheap and reliable. On the patches, the welfare team and Community Support Development Worker make sure there’s plenty to do.

“They’re fabulous at organising days out and events,” said Claudia.

“Patch life is such a different experience to what I’ve had before; we’re all one big family.”

The main concern that families ask AFF about is the difference in education, as Scotland co-ordinator Jenny Goodacre explained: “We work closely with the Royal Caledonian Education Trust to work through any issues, such as when a family has problems accessing additional needs support. We find that most issues are quickly resolved, and families are happy once they’re here.

“It can be a worry when moving back from Scotland – do speak to your child’s teacher or new school if you have any concerns.”

Jenny also runs a monthly additional needs group in the area which has been hugely beneficial to families.

STICKING TOGETHER Housing can be a bit hit and miss, with some estates more run down than others, but you should find a good support network wherever you’re living.

“Everyone helps each other out, especially when

the soldiers are away,” explained Claudia.

The Redford and Dreghorn estates are older houses, with Redhall being a PFI patch.

All are a mix of civilian and military families. Some people worry that a Scotland posting will make them feel isolated, but army spouse Daniela, who previously lived in London, has found this isn’t the case.

“There’s easy access to the rest of the UK and Europe via train or plane,” she

said. “The airport is just 20 minutes from the patch and Waverley Station is a short bus ride away.

“I’m a physiotherapist and I’ve found it relatively easy to find a job.” &

Heading north of the border with lit tle (or big) ones in to w? You’re likely to come across some signif icant diffe rences in education. Go to armyandyou.co.uk to see our rough guide to schooling in Scot land. www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2019 Army&You 55

YoungGeneration MILY B E R S O F Y O U R A R M Y FA FOR THE YOUNGER MEM

Material that matters

parent or even when they’re Your little ones can go through tricky times if they move home, are separated from their serving ng a welcome distraction or to reunited after long periods apart. Books, activity packs and crafts are a great way of providi tap into… help the whole family bond. We took a look at some of the fantastic resources that you can

A FORCE FOR GOOD BRINGING FAMILIES TOGETHER CHARITY Little Troopers has initiatives to help families through separation: ✚ STORYBOOK SERIES Written in the form of letters from a military child to a parent talking about the challenges they face.

Reading Force is a reading initiative where forces families share a book and fill out a scrapbook together. We caught up with army spouse Daniela Makin to find out how she used it…

“WE ARE a book-loving family with two small children, Raphael (4) and Corin (3). My husband Seth went to Belize on exercise in January – the first time he’d been deployed since Corin’s birth.

“When Mr Magnolia by Quentin Blake arrived, I hesitantly embarked on reading it to our children, doubting that they would be able to sustain their concentration to compile an entire scrapbook. I was proved wrong.

“They adored drawing their versions of Mr Magnolia and I photographed their activities and kept the doodles of their ideas.

“We made a Skype call to daddy in Belize and read our story to him. Seth messaged to say that it had been the highlight of his day – a screenshot of this went into the scrapbook too.

“We’ve continued with Reading Force even with daddy home, making scrapbooks with friends and family scattered around the country. My mother treasures our activities because they make her feel close to her grandchildren.” l Visit readingforce.org.uk

✚ LITTLE TROOPERS TREASURES A free app where you choose and record yourself reading a book. The app captures your face and voice so your child can see and hear you while following along. ✚ RECOMMENDED READING LIST A list of books for all ages.

A single serving parent said of the Little Troopers Treasures app: “One of the biggest things my three-year-old misses is our bedtime story. This app allows him to hear my voice and gives him the reassurance that mummy is thinking of him when we’re apart.” l Go to littletroopers.net

56 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

‘A CATALYST FOR CONVERSATION’ WHEN Chris MacGregor headed out for an operational tour, he penned My Daddy’s Going Away for his two young children. It was bought by publisher Penguin Random House, which asked him to write a similar book for mums.

“They’re based on the US navy’s emotional cycle of deployment, and although it isn’t obvious, they act as a catalyst for conversation between parents,

CLARE Shaw is the author of Sometimes: My Daddy’s/Mummy’s Gone Away with Work “My husband was deployed when our children were nine and six and we underestimated the impact it would have,” she said. “Our youngest went from being outgoing to not wanting to be left at school each morning.

“We wrote Sometimes; My Daddy’s Gone Away with Work as a family,

which helped to address what was happening. It’s written from the child’s perspective; there are areas where they can write and draw their own feelings, a calendar to count down days and even a packet of tissues for when they’re feeling sad.

“It contains all the tips given to me when my little one was struggling and it comes from first-hand experience.” l Find out more at cskidsbooks.com – A&Y readers can claim ten per cent off by using ARMY10 at checkout.

GET TO KNOW THE GRUMPIT THE Grumpit is an endearing self-help storybook created by author and army spouse Polly Bateman, written initially to help her young son in situations where he felt anxious or fearful.

“It’s a tool we’ve used a lot since I made the character up for my son when he was four (he’s now 11). The Grumpit helps develop a child’s understanding of their own emotions and the way

www.armyandyou.co.uk

l Visit mydaddysgoingaway.com

they play out,” said Polly.

“The Grumpit is someone who gets worried for you, and your child just has to explain to him or her that they don’t need to feel that way. By putting your child in the supportive role, they learn self-soothing, self-compassion and courage to help them through situations.”

Read a review by

A&Y reader Toni Beacock and her son Louis at armyandyou.co.uk/ review-the-grumpit or visit thegrumpit.com

WIN: GIRL POWER ENGINEER Kerrine Bryan wanted to challenge common misconceptions about certain types of jobs, so she wrote her first book, My Mummy is an Engineer, to pass on the positive message to children.

The fifth book in the series, My Mummy Is A Soldier, was written after Lt Col Deborah Taylor asked Kerrine to develop a children’s book that raises awareness of the diversity of jobs women undertake in the army.

Army&You has five copies to give away – see entry rules on page three.

autumn 2019 Army&You 57

See more at butterflybooks.co.uk

AIDING WITH ABSENCES

carers, teachers and children,” explained Chris.

The books have sold around the world to forces families, airline pilots, professional sports people and more – even astronaut Tim Peake and his family have a well-thumbed copy!

Specialists have an advantage The same is true in family law Ants are specialists as they can carry up to 100 times their own body weight. At The Family Law Co we are specialists too; our expertise carries weight in legal disputes involving children, including adoption, surrogacy, divorce, separation & financial matters, co-habitation agreements and grandparents’ rights.

Contact us for specialist advice on all areas of family law.

Tel 01392 421 777 | 01752 674 999 | www.thefamilylawco.co.uk

58 Army&You autumn 2019

@ArmyandYou

LAW ADVERTORIAL

An end to the ‘blame game’?

Picture: Kelly Sikkema

Accused of being archaic and fuelling acrimony, divorce laws in England and Wales are set for a significant shake up.

We quizzed two family law specialists for their views on what impact the proposed reforms may have on military couples...

www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2019 Army&You 59

WITH a proposed overhaul of divorce laws in England and Wales being scrutinised by Parliament, it is expected that wedded couples will soon be able to split more speedily and with less acrimony.

It is hoped the proposed reforms will bring an end to the “blame game” often associated with the current rules, which require one spouse to allege adultery or unreasonable behaviour by the other for divorce proceedings to start immediately.

We quizzed Lin Cumberlin of Batt Broadbent Solicitors and The Family Law Company’s Sasha Walton about the changes and how they may impact on parting army families.

Why is the Government considering an overhaul of the process in England and Wales?

LC: The reform follows the very much publicised 2018 case of Owens and Owens, which led to a public consultation where family justice professionals and those with direct experience of divorce voiced their support for reform to end “the blame game”.

The divorce law in this country is archaic and has only served to increase conflict between divorcing spouses and their families. It is more than 50 years since the current divorce laws were introduced and it is time for change.

The current system has been shown to work against any possibility of reconciliation resulting in damage being caused to the children of divorcing spouses who invariably get caught up in the aftermath.

SW: For many years there have been calls from family lawyers and pressure groups for reform of the current divorce laws. At the moment, when a couple wish to get divorced or obtain a civil partnership dissolution, they either have to wait for at least two years or blame the other person for the breakdown of the relationship either by alleging their adultery (not an available reason for civil partnerships) or by providing allegations of unreasonable behaviour. This often provokes strong emotions and can prove too much strain for some couples even if they are trying to keep things amicable. In many cases, it certainly gets couples off to bad start and can make agreeing matters concerning children and finances more acrimonious. Parliament is considering removing the need for one person to allege “fault” or blame the other person for the breakdown of the relationship.

Post reform, will “fault” still be a 60 Army&You autumn 2019

“For many years there have been calls from family lawyers and pressure groups for reform of the current divorce laws.”

Sasha Walton, The Family Law Company thefamilylawco.co.uk

factor in divorce agreements in cases where couples are in conflict?

SW: Parliament is still considering whether to introduce a new system, so it is not possible to say with any certainty what any new system will include. However, the main emphasis of the potential reform appears to be removing the need to allege fault. One person’s conduct or behaviour during the marriage or civil partnership can sometimes have a bearing on financial settlements but the circumstances where this can be raised are very limited and are specific to each case.

LC: The bill which is currently going through Parliament will: l replace the ‘five facts’ with a new requirement to provide a statement of irretrievable breakdown l remove the possibility of contesting the divorce l introduce an option for a joint application l make sure language is in plain English, for example, changing ‘decree nisi’ to conditional order and ‘decree absolute’ to final order The proposed changes include keeping the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage as the sole ground for the divorce but replacing

the requirement to provide evidence of a “fact” around behaviour or separation with a requirement to provide a statement of irretrievable breakdown. It is not clear at present how the changes will work in practice and what the statement will need to include but the aim is remove the need to place any blame.

What benefits will a “no-fault” divorce afford splitting couples?

LC: It is hoped that the changes will reduce hostility and conflict. It will remove the requirement to apportion blame which has, in the past, only sought to make it harder for ex spouses to build a positive relationship as co-parents. It is also hoped that a change to the process, which includes an intention to create a period of time for reflection, may have a positive outcome as regards the possibility of reconciliation.

SW: Hopefully it will help those couples who want to remain amicable throughout the divorce process. The drafting of the divorce petition is likely to be simpler and potentially more people will use the Government’s online divorce system to deal with the divorce themselves. However, it may take

“It is hoped that the changes will reduce hostility and conflict.

It will remove the requirement to apportion blame.”

Lin Cumberlin, Batt Broadbent battbroadbent.co.uk @ArmyandYou

LAW ADVERTORIAL

longer to pursue a no fault divorce as there may be a lengthier period that the couple have to wait before finalising their divorce under the new system.

Who will be responsible for meeting the legal costs?

SW: Under the current system it is possible for the Petitioner to claim costs relating to the divorce proceedings. We will wait to see how any new legislation will allow either person to claim costs against the other. It is conceivable that new legislation will encourage separating couples to agree how their respective costs are met rather than opening up a separate area for dispute, especially where the whole point of the legislation is to reduce conflict.

Generally, each person pays their own costs of dealing with financial matters unless there is a separate agreement or the court makes an order for costs against a person.

LC: It is hoped that there will be an introduction of a joint application for divorce which could imply that the costs should be shared. The Government have introduced an online divorce system which should simplify the process and may, in turn, have www.armyandyou.co.uk

“Couples will still be urged to seek legal advice regarding financial settlement to ensure that they obtain a fair settlement on divorce.�

Lin Cumberlin, Batt Broadbent

an impact on legal costs as the divorcing spouses can access the documentation online.

The law society are also of the view that the Government should reintroduce legal aid for early advice to support divorcing couples.

Will legal advice still be necessary once the law is implemented and the process simplified?

LC: Divorcing couples will still be able to access legal advice if they feel the need to do so. It is not expected that any changes to the legislation will affect the current procedures

for dealing with child arrangement issues and financial issues. Couples will still be urged to seek legal advice regarding financial settlement to ensure that they obtain a fair settlement on divorce. It is hoped that the new reforms will ensure that divorcing couples are made aware of the options available to them to deal with financial settlement before finalising their divorce and obtaining a final decree.

SW: Yes, it is important to take legal advice as there is no indication that the change of the law will affect financial claims or how matters involving children will be resolved.

Dealing with the financial issues arising out of their divorce is the most important aspect of their divorce for many couples. Getting divorced does not end the financial claims that married couples or civil partners have against each other. To ensure these claims are brought to an end, divorcing couples need to enter into a consent order which formally ends the financial claims and bars or restricts people from making future claims. It will still be important for people to seek advice from a lawyer so that assets can be protected as far as possible and appropriate arrangements made for the children. autumn 2019 Army&You 61

Giveaways

Click the giveaways tab at armyandyou.co.uk and follow the links before entries close on 6 October

One entry per household per giveaway. Closing date for entries is 6 October 2019 unless otherwise stated. See page three for competition rules. Your information will not be used for marketing purposes. Winners’ names and T&Cs are published on the Army&You website.

unique anor has 14 Orestone M d with each packe bedrooms, d charm character an

Covering all bases Are you keen to cover all bases when looking after your baby? Are you fed up with your little one kicking off their blanket?

Cover Me has been created by army wife and mum-of-three Harriet Westcott (read more on pages 20-21) and can be used as a breast-feeding cover, over a highchair, car seat or shopping trolley, or as a blanket. Available in a variety of colours from covermebaby.co.uk

We have two brilliant baby covers, retailing at £25 each, to give away.

62 Army&You autumn 2019

A HIDDEN GEM Unwind and recharge your batteries at Devon’s foodie heaven Orestone Manor (orestonemanor. com), a delightful familyrun country house hotel overlooking Lyme Bay in South Devon.

The magnificent

Georgian manor house hotel offers sumptuous accommodation and fine dining, with 14 bedrooms unique in character. Soak up the sea views, enjoy a Devon clotted cream tea or sip a cocktail in the Brunel Bar & Lounge.

A lucky reader can win a one-night break for two, with breakfast and threecourse dinner included (Sun-Thurs, booked by 23 December). This prize is open to serving regular or reserve families only.

@ArmyandYou

s in See This Mum Runs Military Mum this action at armyandyou.co.uk/ ms mum-runs-military-mu

Animal magic

Happy feet After a hard day, what could be better than slipping on a pair of Moccis gorgeous hand-sewn Swedish moccasins? Moccis (pronounced mock-keys) are a hybrid of a sock and slipper in one and are available for babies, children and adults. Prices from £25 at moccis.co.uk

At ZSL London Zoo you can walk through a Sumatran jungle, explore the Indian forests of Gujarat or tour the plains of Africa, coming faceto-face with animals from across the globe. Set in London’s Regent’s Park and home to more than 650 species, every day is different at this popular zoo.

Visit zsl.org for information on exciting activities for all the family.

Win a family ticket for two adults and two children to ZSL London Zoo usually costing £89 – and enjoy a great day out.

Two lucky readers will win a cosy pair of adult Moccis plus a pair for a baby or child too (RRP £62).

Runaway success Get set to pound the pavements with This Mum Runs Military Mums groups, which have been going from strength-to-strength.

With thousands of runners, This Mum Runs is a growing global community of women on a mission to be happier and healthier. Follow TMRMilitaryMums on Facebook for more or visit thismumruns.co.uk One reader will win a bundle containing a technical running tee and race clips, as well as a cosy sweatshirt and a mug, perfect for that post-run cuppa.

Go ape in the trees Treat your family to an unforgettable experience in the treetops, where you’ll head up into the canopy to navigate crossings, jump off Tarzan swings 30 feet above ground, scramble across nets, and fly through the air on breath-taking zipwires.

Face your fears, overcome challenges together and leave having achieved something truly great. It’s not a ‘normal’ family day out! See goape.co.uk Win one of four family tickets, for two adults and two children, usually costing more than £100 each, to Go Ape!

www.armyandyou.co.uk

autumn 2019 Army&You 63

SIE RR A. A L PH A . VI C TO R. ECH O. We ’ r e p r o u d t o o f f e r c u r r e n t a n d f o r m e r m i l i t a r y p e r s o n n e l s a v i n g s o n s e l e c t e d v e h i c l e s.† Search: Ford Militar y Sales

† Selected vehicles only. Eligibility criteria applies. See ford.co.uk/militarysales for more information.

Model shown is a Fiesta ST-3 3-Door 1.5 200PS Manual Petrol with optional Full LED Headlamps.

Fuel economy mpg (l/100km): Combined 40.4 (7.0). *CO 2 emissions 136g/km.

Figures shown are for comparability purposes; only compare fuel consumption and CO 2 figures with other cars tested to the same technical procedures. These figures may not reflect real life driving results, which will depend upon a number of factors including the accessories fitted (post-registration), variations in weather, driving styles and vehicle load. * There is a new test used for fuel consumption and CO 2 figures. The CO 2 figures shown, however, are based on the outgoing test cycle and will be used to calculate vehicle tax on first registration.

BlogSpot

Welcome to Army&You’s BlogSpot.

Write your thoughts about army life and send them to editor@aff.org.uk

BEST BLOG

A new challenge

By Maxine @teddybeardaycare87

If you had told me on my wedding day six years ago that I would give up my career to become a stay-athome mum, I wouldn’t have believed you.

Back then, I was confident I’d continue my career as a child and adolescent mental health service nurse, even with the expectation of moving every three years, not realising many postings placed me in an area too far for me to commute.

I retrained as a health visitor, hoping this would open the employment world for me. With military spouses on every camp having children, I would have my pick of jobs, I thought. A posting to Northern Ireland put that on hold. With a tricky recruitment process, and a miscarriage on the day of the interview (my

husband, of course, was away) I concentrated on our family.

Life only got more complicated last year when Colin left for Bahrain for a six-month tour, leaving me to cope alone with our two children. Our youngest was only eight months old.

I was surviving okay until, six weeks in, a routine horse-riding lesson ended with a fall, a nervewracking trip to hospital and a broken coccyx.

In pain and unable to take any medication due to looking after the kids, there were days where I barely managed to keep everything going.

Thinking outside the magnolia box

incredibly lonely.

You see I never actually wanted to start my own company. I thrive in a team and working alone has always been a struggle, especially when I first started out. I had gone from working in an amazing award-winning team at Disney to just me, working alone.

Back in 2012 we’d just moved to our first posting together and my boyfriend (now husband) was constantly on operations. I had moved away from my lovely friends and family and was completely separated from any support network. I was lonely!

I wish I’d known others in the military

By Jess theindependentspouse.co.uk

It’s hard to be inspired working from home in that magnolia-coloured box of a married quarter.

I have worked that way since I started my design business and, although it’s a great way to be able to follow my husband’s career, at times I find it

www.armyandyou.co.uk

I’ve made a complete recovery, though I’ve struggled to return to riding. I miss it but, as a mum, I worry what could have happened. When Colin finally returned, we began to look to the future – and to moving back to the mainland.

“I didn’t want to feel like I was Once Catterick was sacrificing my time away from our confirmed, I managed to return to the NMC children for no financial gain.” register as a nurse and health visitor. That part was easy! However, reality a new challenge, setting up my kicked in when we realised the own childcare business. I know cost of childcare equated to my it won’t be easy, but I learned future weekly wage. I didn’t want during Colin’s absence I’m a to feel like I was sacrificing my much stronger person than I ever time away from our children for realised – and that this too is part no financial gain. of our adventure together as an Instead, I’m looking forward to army family.

This blogger wins £75 worth of theatre tokens to spend on a show. Theatre Tokens, Gift Cards and eGifts can be used at more than 250 venues nationwide and have no expiry date. They can also be used at TKTS, the theatre ticket booth in Leicester Square or redeemed at officiallondontheatre.com See more at theatretokens.com

community who, like me, were running their own business. People I could run ideas past and who could give me the encouragement to keep going. I now know that if I could have heard stories of others achieving their goals whilst living this ‘magnolia-wall life’, it would have given me the boost I needed during those dark days. Last year I launched a podcast to do just that.

I interviewed other inspiring spouses in business and showcased their stories and it has since grown into much more.

The InDependent Spouse is now a platform where you can find other spouses in business around the

world for help and support.

There are online virtual networking events every month and a busy Facebook community.

Military spouses in business shouldn’t be limited on what they can do by location, and I’m proud of the growing network that we are creating together.

autumn 2019 Army&You 65

Big fan of blogs? Read more at armyandyou.co.uk/category/blogspot

The offer A view by @toffeekate ‘The offer’ – those two little words that bring concern and confusion to army families. It’s the beast that everyone has heard rumblings about.

I know it concerns us, I know it will push us towards family decisions we might not be keen to make, but until recently, no one actually saw the beast.

66 Army&You autumn 2019

Do we really know anything about the offer? Apparently, it was once great; it retained personnel regardless of deployments, exercises and separations, it gave families a decently maintained roof over their heads at a super low cost and it ensured that families were cared for.

Over the last ten years I feel it has been slowly eroded.

Families are uncertain because of the beast the offer has become. It rarely stands still long enough for families to understand it. Its constantly changing nature simply adds another level of confusion to families in their decision making.

Should we stay in the army or jump ship to civvy street? Should

“It rarely stands still long enough for families to understand it.” we buy our own house to give our family stability and utilise what FAM might have to offer?

That itself brings the pitfalls of unaccompanied service, but it is a possible way forward.

Or should we continue living in SFA because of the military support networks it provides? Should we remain a mobile family and hang in with the stability of education with Continuity of Education Allowance, or take our chances with a local school?

The ‘Discover my Benefits’ tool has gone some way in enlightening families on topics such as leave, travel, relocation and allowances. The offer has been enhanced by flexible working, however, much can and should still be done.

The offer is ultimately determined by those in charge of the previous beast when it was great – let’s hope they decide wisely as they are not the ones who will have to live with it. @ArmyandYou

HELP THOSE WHO HAVE GIVEN SO MUCH. By leaving a gift in your Will, you can give back to soldiers, veterans & families for life.

Find out more about leaving a gift in your Will to The Soldiers’ Charity.

Call: 020 7811 3694 Email: legacies@soldierscharity.org Web: www.soldierscharity.org/legacies ABF The Soldiers’ Charity is a registered charity in England and Wales (1146420) and Scotland (039189).

Registered as a company limited by guarantee in England and Wales (07974609). Registered Office: Mountbarrow House,12 Elizabeth Street, London SW1W 9RB.

ADOPTION

IT’S NOT JUST A MILITARY BASE IT’S A LOVING FAMILY HOME. SSAFA, the Armed Forces charity is a Registered Adoption Agency, covering the whole of the UK. We are military specialists, who understand your adoption needs. We promote equality and welcome applications from all members of the serving community.

To find out more Call 020 7463 9326 or email adoption@ssafa.org.uk Visit ssafa.org.uk/adoption

Registered as a charity in England and Wales Number 210760 in Scotland Number SCO38056 and in Republic of Ireland Number 20006082. Established 1885. S337.0819