Melanie Dallas

Self-Care

a Vital New Year’s Resolution

BY MELANIE DALLAS, LPC

While making resolutions is a typical part of a new year, people’s resolutions may be a little different this year. Many may resolve to quit smoking, drink less, lose weight or be more active (or all of those things), but others might focus on things they feel are lacking – personal relationships, time with loved ones and, perhaps, mental health.

There is an old saying that we never miss the water till the well runs dry, and there actually are several lessons to be drawn from this. First, there are parts of our lives we consider so routine and normal that we might take them for granted: visiting relatives; seeing co-workers regularly; going to a restaurant, ball game or concert; even going to school. Up until the pandemic, those were things most of us would consider a given.

The second thought is a simple follow-up to the first — that we might miss some of the things we take for granted if we suddenly are prevented from doing them, especially by circumstances outside our control. The pandemic is such a circumstance, and not only disrupted our normal life routines, but also work, school and enjoying a good meal out.

The final lesson in this saying isn’t stated but is implied — and perhaps is the most important — which is to appreciate the things you have when you have them. If nothing else, the pandemic showed us that life can change rapidly, and in ways we cannot anticipate, and we can’t take anything for granted.

This brings us back to New Year’s resolutions. We know that physical and mental health are linked, and most things that improve physical health also will benefit mental health. And, if you want to include not taking for granted the people, places and activities you love, then practicing gratitude can be an important goal, as well.

When we look at these aspects of our lives all together, and make sustaining or improving them a goal, we are practicing self-care, which, I think, is one of the most important goals anyone can have in this new year.

Of course, many people have difficulty with the idea of self-care, because we’ve been raised to value the idea of selflessness. But, self-care is not selfish; it simply means giving ourselves the same grace, compassion and care we give to others. Quite simply, self-care is anything we deliberately do (or refrain from doing) with our own well-being in mind.

Self-care also can mean making an effort to do those things you missed because of the pandemic. Connecting more frequently with people you care about may require some creativity. But, being creative and focused on those things that are important to you, whether physical, mental, spiritual or emotional, is the very essence of self-care. Further, self-care fosters resiliency, the ability to bounce back from negative events, something we all need, every year.

As we start 2022, let’s all resolve to take better care of ourselves, to give ourselves some time to relax, to think about what’s important to us, and to make a plan to spend more time doing the things we like, with the people we love. If you make only one resolution, make it self-care, because everything else you might want to do this year starts there.

Melanie Dallas is a licensed professional counselor and CEO of Highland Rivers Behavioral Health, which provides treatment and recovery services for individuals with mental illness, substance use disorders, and intellectual and developmental disabilities.