EDUCATION
Consent at every age
How soon can we start teaching kids that we should respect one another’s boundaries, in order to be safe, preserve dignity and build healthy relationships? Elizabeth Jerabek reports
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t’s hard to say who dreads sex ed more: the adult at the front of the classroom or the kids sitting at their desks in the back. And as the repercussions of the #MeToo movement have demonstrated, it has become increasingly important to also teach our kids about consent.
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While you can teach information about consent along with sex education, the good news is that you don’t have to. In fact, many educators think that it’s better to teach it as a separate subject, and that it is never too soon to start. Rather than lumping consent in with sex education, they recommend incorporating the concept into a broader set of positive social-emotional life skills.
At its most basic level, consent is about how to express and respect an individual’s body competency and sovereignty. This is relevant not only to sex education, but also when it comes to dealing with bullying and identity dynamics. Therefore, the first step is to reframe the concept not as consent per se but rather as body autonomy. Once you’ve done that it becomes clearer how to teach the concept in appropriate ways to different age groups.
Early years In the early years, consent can be taught right along with body literacy. Just as you teach your toddler the ‘head, shoulders, knees and toes’ song, you can also teach
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them that they are the ‘boss of their body’ – there’s even a catchy song that goes along with that, too. It will help to develop and use a shared, specific vocabulary – not only for anatomically correct body parts – but also for concepts like ‘body,’ ‘space’ and ‘touch.’ Kindergarteners are unlikely to actually use the word ‘consent’ in conversation, but the goal is for them to be able to tell people when they do and do not want to be hugged, kissed, tickled or otherwise touched or have their personal space invaded. When taught at a young age, asking for consent or permission is part of the development of emotional intelligence. Here again,
