Nobody Wins When The Family Feuds

HPU

Photography by: Ashley Ikemenogo Model Amarachi Anozie Obi Anozie Featured by: heypickupradio

In

A MESSAGE FROM THE

EDITOR I am very excited to present to you guys an intellectual snack that I believe will be very helpful to us all this mid summer season. The topic is inspired and centered around the 'Family Fueds' track from Jay-Z's 2017 album "4:44". And although this experience and conversation is not limited to the Black/African community, I want to take the time to announce that I have chosen to dive into this interview analysis from the lens and perspective of African-identifying siblings.

I am honored to have collaborated with Obi and Amarachi Anozie, and I thank you both for bringing the project to life.

I challenge you all to not keep these questions and conversations on this paper but instead bring it with you to your next friend meet up or family function and see what happens.

This topic is meant to stimulate and critically provoke your thoughts and understandings towards your own inner conflicts and secrets that you have held within yourself. Bringing these inner conflicts and deep inner questions to the table will help empower the individual in understanding, problem solving, and ability to demonstrate positive steps towards growth. With and through the integration of discussion by the means of group think/conversation this will not only promote growth on an individual level—but also growth and understanding as a group and community.

Cheers

NOBODY WINS WHEN

THE FAMILY FEUDS Written by: A.G. LE

HPURADIO

Summer; a season of character growth and devel opment. A season of unwi l l ed uncomf ortabl e si tuati ons f rom hometowns and househol ds that many are f orced to deal wi th unti l f al l comes back around. For many, summer may be a pl easant ti me wi th f ami l y as wel l as f ri ends but f or others i n the communi ty i t' s a l onesome ni ghtmare of f ami l y f euds.

Af ter the rel ease of the track Fami l y Feuds by Jay- Z I began to ref l ect and anal yze personal experi ences, f ri ends, f ri end groups, and strangers who al l seemed to share the same questi ons and pl ans of departure.

Al though the track' s message i s not excl usi ve to one cul ture, ethni c background, or soci oeconomi c status -- the deep desi re of ' avoi dance and departure' i s somethi ng that I have noti ced over the course of several summers f rom the Bl ack and Af ri can communi ty.

I n thi s era of progressi on, entrepreneuri al stri des, and success i n the mi nori ty communi ty ( al most l i ke never bef ore) --there are sti l l unvei l ed struggl es, dysf uncti onal i ty and toxi ci ty that go unaddressed and i n some cases buri ed ' f or l i f e' . But how can we as a communi ty come together and di scuss the vi tal tool that i s needed to go f ar i n thi s j ourney of upl i f ti ng success? Can we sti l l wi n when the f ami l y f euds?

NOMADIC

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What i s a fami l y, and what does i t mean/l ook l i ke for both of you?

L: So based off how you guys are describing family, do you think Jay is specifically talking about blood related family (immediate), or any family unit?

Amarachi : To mee. . . f ami l y i s an i mmedi ate support system that i s there f or you through thi ck and through thi n. Just, your ri ders. Peopl e you rock wi th no matter what goes down.

A: I can’t really analyze cause I didn’t listen to the lyrics --- I listened to the track, but I didn’t really deep the lyrics.

Obi : [ Cl ears throat] --- I thi nk f ami l y i s an extensi on of you. Everybody has, you know, i nsecuri ti es, negati ve si des, posi ti ve si des, that wi l d si de, and di f f erent types of wi sdom. . . and someti mes we need peopl e to compl i ment somethi ng we al ready have cause we’ re not al ways compl ete. And I thi nk f ami l y i s j ust an extensi on of that; whether i t be mom, dad, si ster, cousi n, etc. . Usual l y they’ re nothi ng l i ke us, exact other hal f to us, or they’ re exactl y l i ke us; [ l i ke Amarachi was sayi ng, they’ re] a support system.

LE: So do they have to be bi ol ogi cal or no?

A: Oh no. Not at al l – al so, j ust because we’ re bl ood doesn’ t mean we’ re f ami l y. Fami l y i s a term that personi f i es that support system. . . eh? [ I na- anu?] . So i f I don’ t see you as that support system, or that extensi on of me –regardl ess i f we are bl ood or not. . . I don’ t consi der you f ami l y O: I def i ni tel y agree.

A: [ pauses] i s my breath hot?

O: ‘ Cause you are j ust tal ki ng passi onatel y , so I tri ed to make sure the passi on wasn’ t smel l i n’ – passi on of chryst.

O: You know how they say bl ood i s thi cker than water? – That’ s not al ways the case.

A: That’ s the bi ol ogi cal case.

O: Fami l y i s not al ways ti ed di rectl y to bi ol ogy, i t f al l s of f i n di f f erent cases. Wi thi n a year you may spend a certai n amount of ti me wi th your f ri ends, or j ust peopl e outsi de that you rock wi th. 1 or 2 of them that you rock wi th may be cl oser than your bl ood cousi n that you tal k to once every f ami l y vacati on.

When somethi ng i s goi n’ on – you’ re gonna cal l that f ri end that you spend 6-8 hours of the day wi th on a dai l y basi s. I t goes to the spi ri tual rel ati onshi p

O: To pref ace t hi s, l i ke – how are we gonna move f orward when t here’ s beef wi t hi n t he uni t , t he support syst em?

A: Oh okay – I thi nk he’ s tal ki ng about the Bl ack Communi ty honestl y. . . because other parts of hi s al bum he tal ks about generati onal weal th and how Bl ack peopl e don’ t understand. We’ re al ways posti n’ up on the gram wi th racks and that’ s not real money, and how he gave an exampl e of the Jewi sh communi ty passi ng down thei r generati onal weal th. He’ s tal ks about what weal th i s – l i ke buyi ng a pai nti ng, l etti ng i t appreci ate and then sel l i ng i t to get a prof i t. So. . . I thi nk he’ s tal ki ng about the Bl ack communi ty i n general ; we have so much conf l i ct and brokenness wi thi n, so how are we supposed to move f orward as a peopl e? We can’ t wi n when the f ami l y f euds.

O: Taaaal k about i tt. Hel l o?

"YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER? --THAT'S NOT ALWAYS THE CASE." -OBI ANOZIE

Do you thi nk i nsecuri ti es start from the househol d, or outsi de of the househol d?

A: I thi nk i t’ s a mi xture of both, because you’ re envi ronment shapes you to a certai n extent.

For exampl e, I have f ri ends who have two names. . . but they onl y go by thei r f i rst name, thei r Ameri can name – and that’ s an i nsecuri ty.

At home they’ re onl y cal l ed by thei r Ni geri an name and i t’ s l i ke thei r Ameri can name i s a moni ker f or them to assi mi l ate, and that [ i nsecuri ty] stems f rom home. But I thi nk col l ecti vel y, we get most of our i nsecuri ti es f rom home. Cause that’ s where we were f i rst brought up. Start f rom home, and devel op i nto your soci al i nteracti ons.

O: I agree, wow – i t’ s hard, I thi nk i t’ s a case by case thi ng. Li ke Amarachi was sayi ng, the seeds are pl anted i n the home, but i n some cases the seeds are pl anted outsi de, and then you bri ng i t home. Then your parents are l i ke “Why are you l i ke di s?! ” Whi ch causes you to be more rebel l i ous especi al l y when you’ re goi ng through puberty. For exampl e, we went to a pri vate school and i n the south, the general sti gma i s a PWI , and bei ng i n those communi ti es – especi al l y the darker you are as a bl ack person, i t can cause you to assi mi l ate.

Li ke when i t comes to hai r texture, when i t comes to the thi ngs you wear, how you tal k, how you move, how you are i n soci al setti ngs.

How they make you f eel wi thout bei ng overt i t’ s more covert. So those i nsecuri ti es can bore outsi de f rom your communi ti es. I t takes pl ace i n both pl aces.

What are your fi rst thoughts that come to mi nd when you thi nk about goi ng home?

A: Boredom. [ O & A Laugh] i t’ s more negati ve than posi ti ve. Because when you l i ve out on your own i t' s l i ke you’ re expl ori ng the worl d, you j ust f eel so one wi th yoursel f then when you come home i ts l i ke you’ re comi ng back to the hi erarchy and the rol e that you pl ay wi thi n thi s househol d. So i t’ s l i ke I took my l eave of absence and then I ’ m back at my ol d j ob, and I ’ m seei ng al l my ol d coworkers.

A: And l i ke i t’ s not necessari l y a bad thi ng cause you f eel more of yoursel f cause thi s i s where you’ ve been brought up. But you f eel l ess of yoursel f cause you don’ t f eel l i ke an i ndi vi dual cause these are the peopl e that have shaped you. I ’ m happy because i t’ s home, but I f eel l i ke I ’ m j ust goi ng through the moti ons same ol d ways; ol d habi ts.

O: Guys, t hat ’ s my si st er. She i s speaki n’ d troot.

O: But to pi ggyback what she was sayi ng that’ s exactl y how i t i s, especi al l y when you go to col l ege and then you come back--especi al l y comi ng f rom a househol d and a cul ture that keeps the bi rds i n the bi rd nest unti l they’ re ready to f l y. So when you come back to the bi rd nest you must nestl e and l ay down l i ke you were bef ore [ chuckl es]

A: They dead ass cl i p your wi ngs.

O: Ri ght? Li ke ‘ take them of f and when i t’ s ti me to go back to Austi n. . . you can put i t back on. ” A&L: [ chuckl es] yeah O: But my thoughts about home, i t’ s more l i ke f ami l y. I t’ s a spi ri tual thi ng, i t’ s a l abel . You can create home. Home i s what you make home.

Home i s what you make i t, what you f eel sol ace i n. , L: Through the l ens of someone who comes from a broken home or no fami l y i n the fi rst pl ace -why do you thi nk they avoi d goi ng to pl aces that are supposed to be ' home' and i s thei r home techni cal l y?

A: Cause they don’ t have a posi ti ve sense of home. When we thi nk of home a l ot of ti mes i t can be posi ti ve. And f or them through thei r l ens and thei r ci rcumstances i t’ s not a posi ti ve enti ty.

So we can understand why they woul dn’ t choose to O [ i nt ersect i ng] : I s i t home i f i t ’ s not posi t i ve t o you?

A: No- no-no, that’ s why I sai d – home i s both posi ti ve and negati ve , but the reason why they woul dn’ t want to go back to that pl ace that they came f rom i s because i t has a negati ve energy and they don’ t want to be remi nded what went down i n that pl ace or those peopl e.

I n Jay-Z’ s 4: 44 al bum he comes cl ean about hi s i nfi del i ty and ménage a troi s wi th women. But unfortunatel y the story of i nfi del i ty i s not a forei gn i nci dent for many i n the Afri can/ bl ack communi ty. When you hear about i nfi del i ty how does that make you feel , and why do you thi nk i t i s preval ent i n the communi ty?

O: To be honest, I thi nk i t’ s two or three thi ngs.

Number one, i f you l ook at the economy and, soci ety i s so overused but -- soci ety that we’ re i n what we promote, al l ow, and sustai n through f orms of communi cati on – radi o waves, tel evi si on, ads, i nternet; the beast that i t i s, you become a product of your di et. I t’ s what you see, and smel l . . . they are al l pathways to the soul /spi ri t. Then you go to the f ami l y dynami c, they can al so be perpetuati ng thi s thi ng, then you can go even f urther and l ook at DNA – stay wi th me. I n the bl ack communi ty, i f you go back to the countri es i n Af ri ca and how pol ygamy was a symbol of ki ngshi p, hi erarchy. The ki ngs back i n the day had many wi ves al l the way up unti l some peopl e’ s great grandf athers, and when they had many ki ds and many wi ves they were prai sed, then

that thi ng i s passed down i n DNA. Li ke i n the song ‘ Bambi ’ by Ji denna he tal ks about that.

Li ke the probl em may be f rom your passed, the DNA that i s wi thi n you, but i t al so comes down to the persona and i ndi vi dual what they choose to al l ow. Cause at the end of the day i t’ s f ree wi l l . You choose what you get to do, but those thi ngs can be perpetuated.

hi s dad and how much he di d f or hi m. So when he tal ks about those thi ngs. At that poi nt i s when I real i zed. Li ke our parents don’ t show emoti on. . . my dad onl y cri es when he’ s l aughi ng.

A: I th- i nk i t i s a rubbi sh phenomenon. I f eel l i ke gi rl s these days j ust want to f eel . . . accepted. . . f eel wanted by someone—so they al l ow i t. And then i n the medi a we see gi rl s that we l ook up to al l ow i t, l i ke, Cardi B, Gab Un. , LaLa – j ust publ i c f i gures. So I guess young nai ve gi rl s who aren’ t strong mi nded f eel l i ke they gotta ‘ hol d they [ man] down’ . That’ s thei r understandi ng of ‘ through thi ck and through thi n’ . And that i s why i t i s so preval ent.

Do you thi nk anyone i s trul y ready for a fami l y?

What i s a chi l d’ s pl ace?

L: So what i s a chi l d’ s of f i ci al rol e and pl ace they shoul d stay i n?

O: I woul d say a chi l d’ s pl ace i s to l earn, be respectf ul , and obedi ent ---so he wi l l grow.

A: A chi l d’ s pl ace i s to be the pri de and j oy of the parent. So i n anythi ng you do, j ust make sure you’ re a representati ve.

How do you process pai n?

A: I eat.

O: When i m sad, I eat. I can EAT – ah! When I ’ m sad I taste al l the f avors A: . . or I don’ t eat, i t depends. Emoti onal pai n I sl eep i t of f . Academi c pai n, I eat.

O: Real pai n I gotta l et i t run i ts course. I process pai n by bei ng around a l ot of peopl e or bei ng al one. Li ke my cl osest f ri ends, i l l be around them and then when i ts af ter hours i l l spend a l ot of ti me al one. I needa get better at that At what moment di d you experi ence/real i ze your parents are human bei ngs al so tryi ng to make i t?

O: I have l i ke three or f our A: I actual l y j ust real i zed that thi s year. My dad l i ves i n Ni geri a and works there- so when my dad went to Ni geri a my mom’ s energy/mood l i ke changed – and I woul d be l i ke ‘ huh? Mommy what’ s wrong?”. And i t’ s l i ke when you see your parents i t’ s l i ke you don’ t see that they actual l y have emoti ons. And Ni geri ans l i ke, they don’ t show emoti ons at al l .

O: For me when I saw my dad cry f or the f i rst ti me – when hi s dad di ed, our grandpa. He woul d al ways tal k about how much he l oooves

O&A: Or one tear! [ Obi and Amarachi chuckl e] O: Just f or cl ari f i cati on our parents are sti l l madl y i n l ove

O&A i n uni son: noo. . .

O: No rul e book i n parenti ng. Everyone’ s dynami c i s di f f erent; everyone i s a rooki e.

You’ re not gonna parent every ki d the same A: You l earn as you go O: I keep f orgetti ng our parents are human bei ngs that were once ki ds j ust l i ke us. I n my mi nd they’ re l i ke super heroes. They have f eel i ngs j ust l i ke us, they cry, they worry about us more than we worry about oursel ves. . . l i ke they worry about themsel ves on top of us.

Parenti ng and starti ng your own f ami l y i s extremel y taskf ul . I t’ s a l ot of responsi bi l i ty that comes wi th i t. Even to the si mpl est thi ng.

Even comi ng down to the i ntenti on. Don’ t come home angry or f i ght wi th your f ami l y around these ki ds cause that i ntenti on can be passed down and mani f est i nto a chi l d’ s i nsecuri ty i n school . That can be i ts own generati onal curse; that anger, so j ust be ki nd.

Do you thi nk the agenda of teari ng bl ack and Afri can fami l i es i s surface l evel oppressi on or a spi ri tual curse?

O: I thi nk i t goes both ways. Some f ami l i es i t’ s j ust oppressi on i t’ s l i ke ‘ they got ‘ em’ ! Just l i ke when you’ re weedi ng weeds out some are easi er to take out than the others. So, the ‘ easy’ ones are ‘ okay! [ snap] oppressi on. ” Then the spi ri tual ones wi l l get the deep rooted weeds out. Some f ami l i es i t’ s a vi ci ous cycl e -A: And some are qui ck to say, ‘ oh why don’ t peopl e i n the ghetto move out. . . thi s i s somethi ng past the modern day l i f estyl e of bl ack peopl e i n Ameri ca. Us we’ re Ni geri an Ameri cans they are a product of [ I ’ l l say i t agai n] the Di aspora! And there i s a generati onal oppressi on.

O: ( Menti ons of Wi l l i e Lynch 1712 Let t er) O: To go back to the i nf i del i ty part. . . the spi ri tual curses part you may be payi ng f or the si ns of your grandf ather, and f l i p si de you coul d be the answers to a ancestral prayer.

Whoever i n whatever you bel i eve i n – i t’ s i mportant to cover yoursel f .

---- OH! That’ s what home i s – whatever nouri shes your spi ri t. That’ s what home i s!

What i s your bond l i ke wi th your [ brother/si ster] ? And was i t al ways l i ke thi s?

A&O i n uni son: HAAAA! ! No. Nope. What?

O: Me and Amarachi used to FI GHT, hey god!

A: I t’ s cause he never real l y understood me.

O: I t’ s cause she never real l y understood me ei ther A: What? Yes I di d!

O: Me and Amarachi are both passi onate and emoti onal , but we express i t i n di f f erent ways.

When Amarachi was younger, she di dn’ t know how to channel that emoti on and that passi on.

And I used to mi stake that as anger, f rustrati on, i rri tati on. Bei ng young I used to be l i ke, ‘ what’ s wrong wi t’ chu? Stop screami ng’ – she woul d al ways try to provoke me, cause I was qui et when I was younger and I never understood what her probl em was. But then I understood, I mi stook her passi on and then I real i zed that l i ke, I ’ m the ol dest. There’ s onl y two of us. I had to remember I ’ m the onl y one she can do thi s wi th, onl y person around that she can tal k to bother.

A: I thi nk our bond has evol ved. Cause I real l y di d not [ mess] wi th Obi .

He was so l i ke ”huh? What i s wrong wi th you?”

He j ust never understood me. There’ s nothi ng wrong wi th me, there’ s somethi ng wrong wi th you.

O: HAA! A: I j ust remember f rom my chi l dhood hi m never getti ng i t. He never got i t. And I woul d be j ust l i ke ‘ why doesn’ t he get i t?” And I f el t l i ke a di sconnect, I used to thi nk maybe cause we were i n vi tro babi es. . . or maybe I was adopted.

A: But I bel i eve you need to grow as peopl e and then come back. So af ter hi gh school [ I real i zed] l i ke oh wow, thi s i s the onl y person I have a di rect l i nk to i n thi s l i f eti me besi des my parents.

So once you real i ze to appreci ate the ti me you have wi th that person, then that' s when our bond started f l ouri shi ng.

O: I agree. Yeah growi ng apart and then comi ng back! Our parents kept tel l i ng us ‘ you guys are al l that you have. I don’ t care how upset you are or want to run away. . . at the end of the day. . . you thi nk you have f ri ends. . . your si ster i s the onl y one that wi l l stay by your si de. One day, we took thi s l ong wal k and tal ked about everythi ng i n our whol e l i f e. I t was l i ke a wal ki ng therapy sessi on.

I thi nk i t was di vi ne. God ordai ned. So f rom there we started to real l y understand each other.

We’ re very si mi l ar and very di f f erent, but our si mi l ari ti es i s what we hol d on to and bui l di ng as we’ re growi ng.

Have you forgi ven your abuser?

L: thi s i s more so someone who has cont i nuousl y abused you A: Aha – no. My abuser was my 8th grade teacher. Thi s l ady was j ust sooo raci st! She was aggressi vel y verbal l y abusi ve. She woul d say thi ngs l i ke ‘ I woul d never get i nto Bi shop Lynch Hi gh School ’ ‘ I ’ m so l oud” She woul d i ntenti onal l y l ook at me when we the cl ass was readi ng ‘ To Ki l l a Mocki ng Bi rd’ and add aggressi ve commentary. I don’ t care what anyone says she was abusi ve and no one bel i eved me! And they di dn’ t bel i eve me ‘ cause I was l oud, but whatever that was abuse. I ’ ve gotten over i t but, I haven' t f orgi ven her; no.

O: Dang. . . [ transi ti ons] For me, when I l ook at a si tuati on where I ’ ve been verbal l y abused I f eel l i ke I never encountered a si tuati on where I never deal t wi th or wal ked away. I f eel l i ke no one on the outsi de has caused me as much pai n as I have caused mysel f . Not even physi cal l y, I mean l i ke my thoughts – or acti ons. I f eel l i ke I ’ m my bi ggest abuser. Have I f orgi ven mysel f , to answer your questi on, no. I t’ s somethi ng that I ’ m tryna out beat what I ’ ve done negati vel y.

I f the success you are to obtai n wi l l mean some fri ends and fami l y cannot conti nue on i n the next season wi th you. . . what i s a message you woul d l i ke to tel l those who wi l l be forced to watch you from a di stance?

L: So, based of f of how you al l def i ned f ami l y- what i f the peopl e i n that support syst em t oday do not progress f orward wi th you al l ; what ’ s a message that you woul d say to them?

A: I woul d thank them, and i t’ s sad that l i ke you coul dn’ t see me through to the f i ni sh l i ne.

But you served your purpose essenti al l y and there’ s a reason why God di dn’ t keep you through. Maybe you coul d have been a di stracti on to me, or maybe a burden, or maybe I coul d have been a burden on you and been di stracti ng you.

O: Yeah i t’ s not al ways about the other person.

That’ s one thi ng I ’ ve had to l earn. Li ke i t’ s both ways. Li ke I coul d be out of thei r season. I ’ m l earni ng to stop romanti ci zi ng thi s f ai rytal e that everyone i s gonna come al ong wi th me, al l wi th VI P ti ckets. . . l i ghti ng candl es and f uf u.

A&L i n uni son: [Laughi ng and cl appi ng hands] O: I t’ s not al ways sweet l i ke that. But one thi ng that I wi l l say f or the other person i s that I wi sh you success and wi sh you l ove and happi ness al ong your j ourney and I ’ l l see you at the end. We’ l l meet agai n. I t’ s never endi ng.

I s there a di fference between qui tti ng and gi vi ng up?

O: Yes. Back i n f ootbal l , qui tti ng was demoni zed.

Li ke, qui t? What?! I real l y took that and i nternal i zed i t to where I don’ t even use that word anymore. Just l i ke Shug Kni ght ‘you can’ t l eave, wel come t o deat h row’ . Gi vi ng up i s not qui tti ng. . . you can even gi ve your best ef f ort and gi ve up. Li ke, God may know you have 50% more l ef t on the tabl e but i n your terms you probabl y put i n l i ke 100%. And you’ re l i ke ‘ ah I ’ m j ust l et God do hi m” – but you di dn’ t qui t as l ong as you sti l l thi nki ng about the thi ng. But here, [ taps on head] i f the i dea i s sti l l present you di dn’ t qui t.

How do you know when i t’ s ti me to wal k away/l eave or when you shoul d stay/keep tryi ng?

L: Let’ s say you are experi enci ng dysf uncti onai l i ty and or toxi ci ty – how do you know when i t’ s ti me to wal k away or keep bui l di ng?

A: You shoul d onl y wal k away when i t’ s hi nderi ng your wel l bei ng or growth. You’ ve tri ed so hard that now you’ re doi ng too much.

L; what does that l ook l i ke? Li ke what’ s a pi cture of somethi ng hi nderi ng your wel l bei ng?

A: Oh when you’ re worri ed about i t more than that person or l osi ng sl eep, not goi ng to cl ass, j ust f eel i ng depressed cause I f eel l i ke my own f ami l y members are bri ngi ng me down. I ’ m j ust gonna have to l et go and l et God. ’ I can’ t hel p i t unti l you hel p yoursel f . Li ke I ’ l l wal k away unti l you hel p yoursel f .

O: I agree one hundred percent.

Does a broken home produce another broken home eventual l y?

A: No. There’ s so many peopl e who have come f rom a broken homes and they’ ve ri sen above, and persevered and made sure i t doesn’ t happen to thei r own ki ds.

O: A broken home coul d create an empi re. . . someti mes, a home needs to be broken.

A: A l ot of ti mes peopl e that come f rom broken homes see what they never had and they make sure to provi de that f or thei r ki ds. And someti mes need to see what can be taken away f rom them i n order to appreci ate i t more.

"SO CAN YOU STILL WIN-WHEN THE FAMILY FEUDS?" A: No--- you can’t win when the family feuds.

O: It depends on what your definition of winning is. Winning is objective, but if the person defines winning as gaining all these assets, building a billion-dollar business – but he’s divorced, never had a sense of ‘dad’ in his household, because he never had a father and they went there way because of that. That's an example how the family could be feuding and you could still win' But, like I was saying, it just determines what is winning in your eyes. Sometimes the family is never meant to heal, sometimes it’s your inner peace and healing –that’s the winning. So the family may just be ‘you’; the relationship with you is the family. You can’t force anything, you can’t force members of the family to have amends with each other you can just play your part and provide, give back and through that be a shining light and example to what the future may hold. So that’s winning...the inner peace knowing that you’ve done everything you can with good intentions.

That’s winning to me.

THANK YOU Obi Anozie Twitter:@obiaura Amarachi Anozie Twitter @amarachiandco Ashley Ikemenogo Instagram @ashtml

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