Mindgarden | Thamid Islam

MindGarden

By Thamid Islam

I grew up kind of a loner. I was the weird kid in elementary school who never really hung out with people. Later in life, it felt like friends would come and go as I often moved from one friend group to another. I didn’t really feel like I had many people I could rely on and would want to go through my problems alone. I felt almost angry because I didn’t know how to process my emotions, and I couldn’t pinpoint why I was sad all of the time despite not having anything specific to justify this sadness. It wasn’t until I was 15 when I discovered bands from the early 90’s grunge scene that I found music that truly spoke to how I felt. These bands were a bunch of guys who weren’t afraid to talk about what sad things they were going through while playing really heavy metal/punk guitar riffs.

Chris Cornell of Soundgarden was the main songwriter that, in retrospect, really represented what kind of mindset I had at the time and what I still feel sometimes. The song “The Day I Tried To Live” is just about doing your best to get out of your depression, and trying to put on a smile to go out and face the day. The problem is, even though you do your best to try to feel normal, you end up feeling the same as you did before and you question if that effort was wasted. Despite the depressing lyrics, the song still holds an optimistic meaning, saying that it’ll just take one more time around to get it right. Even though this song sounds really simple, it definitely cuts deep for me. It really felt like there was someone who kinda got it, who just felt worthless and depressed and almost helpless, but was trying their best to process it. It was comforting to say the least, and it made things a little bit easier for me.

Photo from The Vulture

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