ANDLES Issue No. 24 Editorial Please send your suggestions & Articles for the next issue of CANDLES to “Mr. Chiradeep Patra, 11A/1A, Mahendra Chatterjee Lane, Kolkata - 700 046;
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Year 6 How to understand the suicidal tendencies?
e try to save or create awareness to save trees, jungles, animals but sometimes we forget the crown of the creation, human-being. Are we aware of the fact that every 40 seconds somebody dies by suicide. Following are the signs of understanding suicidal tendencies in a person (may be our friend or relative): 1. Sudden changes in behaviour/personality: When we find a sudden change in a person's behaviour then we should be alert E-Mail: of the danger. Somebody who used to be very strong mentally, asmideep@in.com sobs or weeps without any valid reasons and it happens Cell: 08013165711 constantly then we should watch out and stay alert. 2. Terrible Emotional Loss: When somebody's loved one dies or somebody who fails in exams, or somebody who loses job or something then we should be watchful about them. These people go through terrible and traumatic conditions. We should stay around them with our eyes wide open. 3. Extreme Guilt Conscious: Self hatred, extreme guilt consciousness, unforgiving attitude for self are really very scary and can not be ignored. They need immediate attention and care. 4. Talks only about death/suicide: If certain person only talks about death and suicide and shows unnecessary interest on those topics or who asks about the pain or how the feeling can be when somebody commits suicide or keeps a Local Address record of these facts then we should be aware ad alert of the danger around for that person. New Delhi 5. Sudden withdrwal from general/normal activities: When an active and jolly Contact: person shows withdrawal from all the acitivities suddenly then that could be Rev. Joshua taken as major signs or tendencies of suicide. We should be warned of danger.
109-B#Pkt - I, Dilshadgarden New Delhi - 110 095 Cell:09810364986 E-mail: seva_network@hotmail.com “For Private Circulation Only”
All the above signs are inter-linked. All or most of the signs can be seen in one person. We should be careful immediately after seeing at least one signs. Then only we can save a life. Let's give a serious thought to it…
Chiradeep Patra, is the accountant of National Fellowship, a Social Organisation. He is a psychological counselor and an author of many articles. He can be contacted at: ‘chiradeep.nf@gmail.com’
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Open door to Joy
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n Isaiah 48:10 it says, "See, I have refined you, though not as silver. I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake I do this." Sometimes we wonder if when we're in danger, it's because we're being penalized by God. That's a possibility, but I don't think it would apply to the mass. It's just that the Lord knows that we need to be disciplined. There are all kinds of different appearances of discipline. But suffering is extremely necessary. If we look around us at what's happening in the world and think about our own occurrences of suffering or the suffering of people whom we love, we surely would acknowledge, I think, that we would not deduce from those experiences that God is love. “Get up…….Open your eyes………I have called you by Name and have chosen you to for my Kingdom”. Yes this is what I heard when I opened my eyes after 3 days journey in comma. Accident, Brain injury ….Comma. I took myself as “BARREN” until I met this accident. 3years after my marriage, my Heavenly Father gifted me my first born, son, as my Birth day present. After one miscarriage doctors had given up hope of me conceiving. But God has his own plans. He wanted me to stand as a testimony before many and today I do. Today I am a mother of two (Ryan & Rhema).I had always prayed that Lord let this child of yours come with a mark at his hand and feet, and so it was. I believe that suffering is never for nothing. It is a necessity, and the Lord Himself could not flee suffering. God's love is not a subtraction. It is a fact, and it was proved and confirmed for us on the cross of Jesus Christ. If never before, that was the shining disclosure of the love of God. "This is how we know what love is: that Christ laid down His life for us." Jesus said, "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness" (Matthew 6:33) and “to seek and you will find” (Matthew 7:7). So I believe in pursuing God with all of my heart. I don't say that my that life has become a bed of roses after accepting Christ. But of course thorns have gone. Thorns that used to prick my soul as I belonged from a Non Christian family. Many questions I did have and I do have but every time I kneel I am answered. I can very happily say that I am satisfied. I am at peace. I cried for one child, God made me responsible for many today. Page 2
Suffering is always required. The sooner we learn to say, "Yes, Lord; yes and always yes," the sooner we will find our access or opening to joy. Whatever your form of suffering may be now, just say, "Lord, I surrender this to You and I ask You to show me my doorway to joy.” Shoma Chakrabarty Das is an able home maker who works as the Program Implementation Assistant in Compassion East India. She can be contacted at: ‘shoma.budu@gmail.com’
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7 Reasons for Forgiveness in Marriage Leading to a Lasting Relationship By Ngozi Nwoke
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness- Josh Billings. Lack of forgiveness in marriage has led to many separations and divorces. A Lasting relationship demands that the couple learn the act of forgiveness. To forgive may not be the easiest thing to do but it certainly is the wisest thing to do. Forgiveness is one of the pillars of a successful marriage. Understanding the power of forgiveness will empower you to face and conquer any challenge that comes your way in Marriage. Reasons for forgiveness in marriage 1. Love 'Tis the most tender part of love, each other to forgive - John Sheffield. If you really love your spouse you will forgive him or her. It is difficult for people to forgive when the love is not there or is waning down. Yes, some circumstances can be very trying but love will surely conquer. For instance, God shows and clearly proves His (own) love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us - (Romans 5:8, AMP) 2. Reciprocation You are also liable to err too. You are to do to people (including your spouse) what you would want them to do to you. You may say that you will never do what he/she did but what if you do the one that he/ she will never do. That is why Christ said in Luke 6:37, "judge not, and you shall not be judged: condemn not, and you shall not be condemned; forgive, and you shall be forgiven" For every successful marriage, the act of forgiveness must be applied. 3. Gift to yourself "It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on." - Real Live Preacher. When you are holding your spouse down in your heart in un-forgiveness, you are also holding yourself down. You are hindering your own progress. Let go and move on. To enjoy your marital blessings you need to walk in forgiveness in marriage. Page 3
4. Evidence of maturity and strength Marriage is not for boys and girls but for men and women. It takes being matured spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically to be able to forgive your spouse and enjoy a successful marriage. It takes maturity for you to think beyond your hurt feelings and work towards a lasting relationship. And as Mahatma Gandhi said, "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong". So, if I may ask, where do you fall, weak or strong? 5. To avoid consequences of un-forgiveness Un-forgiveness is a force that has the power to influence, affect or control you and your future negatively. This force is so deadly that it has ruined many marriages, relationships, careers, businesses, led many to their sick beds and many to their early graves. This deadly force drains your energy, wastes your time for more profitable ventures. My friend, don't give yourself the stress for something that is not worth it. Instead as King Solomon said in SOS 2:15 (KJV), "Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes", so also, you should remove the little fox of un-forgiveness from your marital life. 6. Family role modelling The wise man teaches in Proverbs 22:6 that we should train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. It is wisdom to apply the act of forgiveness in your relationship with your spouse for the sake of your children. They will grow to do exactly what they learned from you. Forgiveness in marriage is a seed you sow also in the lives of your little ones. It will grow to produce same in their marital lives. Your children's future is worth all the effort you invest in securing a successful marriage. 7. Lasting relationship Couples don't get married with the intention to jump out of the relationship shortly after exchanging the vows. It is the irrational and uninformed reaction to challenges (like offences) that lead to broken marriages. Understanding and employing the power of forgiveness will strengthen any marriage and keep it far from thoughts of divorce or separation. A lasting relationship demands the engagement of the power of forgiveness for it to work. The thought of forgiving your spouse may not be a palatable idea but learning how to forgive and acting on it will pay you now and in the years to come. Many marriages have been saved from going through a divorce or separation by the application of forgiveness. Yours can be the next.
Ngozi Nwoke is a teacher and a counselor. A product and distributor of love. She has a passion to teach people how to enjoy God's love and fellowship for more fulfilling life. Want more fulfilling life? subscribe for free email updates today. http://stepswithgod.com Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com Online CANDLES at: http://candlesmagazine.webs.com Join our online network at: http://asmideep.webs.com Contact for Counseling: http://yourcounselor.webs.com Page 4