IN AN OCEAN OF DESPAIR By: Ashley Chambers
SHOWING UP By: Kristi Willingham
CHOOSE TO CELEBRATE
By: Jennifer Hill
ASPIRING TO BE
magazine
ASPIRINGTOBEMAG.WORDPRESS.COM | WINTER 2017/2018 | ISSUE 8
TABLE OF
contents 02
03
06
Letter from the Editor
Choose to Celebrate By : Jennifer Hill
Showing Up By: Kristi Willingham
09
13
17
In An Ocean of Despair By: Ashley Chambers
5 Steps to Success in 2018 By: Dianna Auton
The Scrooge Syndrome By: Christy Henderson
WWW.ASPIRINGTOBEMAG.WORDPRESS.COM | WINTER 2017/2018 ISSUE 8
LETTER FROM
the editor
Dear readers, Can you believe that we are at the end of another year? In March 2018 we'll be celebrating 2 years of ministry. It is still hard to believe. I'm so very excited that there are those out there reading our words. What started as just a far off dream of teenage girl has become a reality. I'm so excited about what God has done in your life and also ours, behind the scenes. We have introduced you to new, anointed and talented writers and are looking forward to introducing more new writers and team members. As we are growing this ministry I would like for you to continue praying for us, and supporting us by sharing with all your friends and following us on social sites. I also want to remind you in case you didn't know that when you sign up for our mailing list you will receive a downloadable freebie once a month to print off. But to get there you have to sign up for the mailing list and we will send you access to the freebie section of the site. I pray as you celebrate Christmas and New Years with your families and friends that you are truly blessed above and beyond what you ever imagined. Blessings,
WWW.ASPIRINGTOBEMAG.WORDPRESS.COM |WINTER 2017/2018 ISSUE 8
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JENNIFER HILL
Choose to Celebrate had the year they were born on them. Every year they have picked out one new ornament a piece, they are 19 and 21. This is one of our family traditions. Another one is going every Christmas to look at the lights. Our children, especially Jade, loves the Holidays. That makes my heart smile. That is something we are so thankful for.
When you come from a background where there was so much abuse and the term family doesn't mean much, the Holidays can be hard. You can feel alone in a house full of people. I know as a kid growing up in such horrible abuse, the Holidays were never special. Our birthdays were never
even anything special, no parties, and some years I didn't even get a cake. When I grew up and married Tim, we wanted to do everything right, including the Holidays. We got each of our children the bulbs that
When you come from abuse, or just a dysfunctional family where nothing is ever valued or made important, it is so vital to instill the right things in our children. Teach them to love Christmas and teach them all the reasons we have to be thankful at Thanksgiving. Teach them why the Flag is important, why we are off work on Veterans Day, and what Resurrection Sunday is all about. When we don't have the blessing and privilege of
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growing up in a loving, kind, and peaceful home we must break that cycle. You are probably thinking to yourself, how do I do that? First things first, you must have a strong intimate relationship with Jesus.
If you have never made Jesus the Lord of your life, or if you did but have walked away, make Him your Lord and Savior. Just ask Him into your heart and to be the Lord/Master of your life. Once you have accepted the Lord, read your Bible and begin to prayer, (talk to Him) daily. Ask the Lord to show you, how to parent, how to truly love your children and how to show them that love. Ask Him to show you, and teach you how to break the cycle. Whatever that cycle may be, abuse, no communication, not valuing one another, not valuing the things the good Lord gives us. When you give your heart to Jesus, you will fall in love with Him. You will see how good He is and it will cause you to see the good and the value in the things of Him. What are the good things of God? The beauty of His creation, His Word, the Holidays. Giving thanks to Him and to others, celebrating His birth and resurrection.
Don't allow the enemy to take the joy of celebrating our King from you. No matter where you have come from, no matter where you started, you can finish very well. Don't let the devils' lies make you feel alone. If you have Jesus. you're never alone. If you have a spouse and children, you are not alone. Choose, like me, to celebrate our Lord and the people you do have in your life, and don't worry about the people that are no longer beside you. The ones that are meant to do life with you, are with you. God Bless you and have a very Merry Christmas!!
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Jennifer Hill is the founder of Broken to Blessed Ministries. You can find more information about Jennifer and her ministry on their website: www.brokentoblessedministry.com . Watch on YouTube and follow on Facebook.Â
Merry Christmas
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KRISTI WILLINGHAM
Showing Up "Of all the wonderful free gifts we’ve been given, the greatest and most difficult to fully comprehend is Love."
Recently my co-workers and I decided to host a Christmas party for the ladies in our program. Being in a shelter during the Holidays can be stressful and we wanted each of our ladies to feel loved and experience the joy of the season in a special way. My co-worker had even taken the time to create a personalized invitation for each woman. A local church asked to be involved and with a spirit of excellence, they took our vision for the party and brought even the very smallest of details to life. There were festive decorations and delicious food, Christmas music and a lovely
Tina K Baker is the pastor of International House of Fire in Cleveland, Tennessee. devotion, a craft corner and cookie exchange, and beautiful gifts for each of the ladies. Excitement filled the air as we eagerly awaited the start; but, when the time for the party arrived, less than half of the ladies in the program showed up. It was difficult to mask my disappointment at such a low turnout. Nevertheless, the merry-making went on and each guest expressed their enjoyment of the festivities. The devotion given during this event brought to mind what complete joy it
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must have been to lay eyes upon the Baby Jesus that first Christmas. I began to ponder the gifts given at the Birth of our Savior, and what gifts had been freely given to us upon His Birth. The Grace that loves me though it’s not what I deserve, the perfect peace that passes understanding, and the joy deemed impossible to put into words; all of these and more experienced by those who first chose to listen to the angels and follow the star to the Savior of the world. As I sat listening I thought those who chose not to attend our party really missed out. And I wondered if there were people at that first Christmas who, hearing the unified voice of the heavenly host and seeing the sign of the star in the sky, chose not to show up. For whatever reason, they missed out. I began to think about something my Pastor had said, that Joy is a choice. We have to choose to get up every morning with joy in our hearts, peace on our minds, and a knowing that His Grace is sufficient to bring us through another day. We have to choose to show up for the party and choose to have an attitude of joy and thanksgiving for the blessings and even challenges we face daily. Of all the wonderful free gifts we’ve been given, the greatest and most difficult to fully comprehend is Love. We don’t have to ask the Father daily for an invitation to the party. The invitations have already been sent. We just have to choose daily to show up.
Kristi Willingham Kristi Willingham lives in Strawberry Plains, Tennessee. She works as a Case Manager for the Salvation Army and attends Redemption Church where she has served in a variety of areas as well as assisting other ministries as the Holy Spirit leads. After being married for 25 years, Kristi became a widow and recently tackled the challenge of becoming an empty nester, as her 2 children embarked on their own unique life journeys. Kristi has a desire to encourage and inspire others to grow in God's Love for them through the written word.
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Happy New Year! from all of us at aspiring to be
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ASHLEY CHAMBERS
In an Ocean of Despair making bad choice after bad choice. I had no self-worth and that caused me to be at sins expense and be used and taken advantage of. I did and said things completely out of my character and ungodly choices led me to despair.
In life for some of us, there are seasons or circumstances that we would rather suffer complete memory loss than deal with. It’s too painful, too uncomfortable and we bury it and slam the door shut and throw away the key. That is an unhealthy reaction to disappointment and things ALWAYS return to the surface. Things must be dealt with and it’s truly for our good. In order to heal, we have to face difficulties and hard conver-
sations. We have to talk things out, hear with our ears and work toward the healing process. There was a point in my life where my eyes were opened to truth and my chosen lifestyle. The hardest part wasn’t what was exposed but the fact that it’s what I chose. I put myself in a horrible situation and just kept
It wasn’t just my choices but who I was surrounded by and my influences that were in no way godly or positive. I found myself married to a vile, vulgar, manipulative, controlling, non-believing drug dealer who was also an addict, alcoholic, and
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abuser. His idea of marriage was definitely not traditional but an everything and anything goes deal. I went from thinking I was going to change all those things (and now I realize I was trying to play God) to being asked to have an open marriage. I refused and that refusal wasn’t received and there were multiple affairs on his end that only added to the chaos. The abuse eventually developed into physical abuse and sadly that’s what it took for me to have the scales fall off. It was my toddler daughter that was my courage to muster up the strength to do better and get free! Even the thought of divorce was frowned upon because we are taught that God hates divorce and that bred shame and fear. That was one of the excuses that kept me bound. I let fear of what I’d lose cloud my judgment and reality. It was actually a gain to get to a safe place and I was completely blind to that truth! I had no hope and saw no way out. I felt trapped as if I was under the waves of the ocean with no one in sight to rescue me. I wasn’t even trying to reach out to receive help or get to a safe place. I’d just settled into a mentality of this was how things are and how they will be. I believed that I made the choice to engage into a relationship I knew better to and I deserved what I got. I’d always heard you make your bed you lie in it, so as a person who desires to be obedient I
Psalm 130:5 "I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word." accepted that as my absolute. At that time I didn’t have a developed personal relationship with Jesus, God or the Holy Spirit. I was sporadic in engaging with the one that was my helper, deliverer, rescue, shelter and hope. My restorer. My way of overcoming. I put myself in a terrible place because I accepted it and that gave the enemy an open door. Every lie the enemy cast out I believed. I quickly spiraled out of control and hit rock bottom. I completely lost myself. I never really knew who I was to begin with but what I did know was now gone. I had no
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necessary to get to a safe, healthy place, be free and heal! May God guide and deliver every person that needs delivered from a similar situation or lifestyle and may every person trust and rely on Him every step of the way to the abundant life Jesus came to give us! Speak these and keep them before your eyes and commit them to memory! Hide them in your heart! HE IS FAITHFUL! 2 Corinthians 1:10 "He has rescued us from a terrible death, and he will rescue us in the future. We are confident that he will continue to rescue us." self respect, no value and felt as if my life was pointless. I never had the urge or desire to end it but only prayers of desperation to God to save me from myself or send Jesus back! I had zero focus of God or truth. That was completely destructive. Then, as I sought Him, He delivered me out of despair and brought me into the embrace of hope. It’s not easy facing facts or reality for some of us but it’s necessary. I had to make hard choices to die to self and learn to make wise, godly decisions that positively created my future as a hopeful future that was framed by integrity. I had to rebuild from the bottom up and it wasn’t easy but it was so worth it! Make those hard choices, allow The Holy Spirit to help you put one foot in front of the other and Jesus to seep into every crevice and heal every wound. I didn’t have scripture then to help me but I know some great ones to pass along now for anyone who is in a relationship that needs light shed on it for the purpose of getting the help
Psalm 27:13-14 "Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord." Psalm 130:5 "I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word." Psalm 40:1-2 "I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along."
Ashley Chambers
is a wife and mother to 5. She is founder of Count it All Joy Ministry on Facebook.
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THE PRINCE WARRIORS
bio
From New York Times Best selling author Priscilla Shirer comes an epic, new, fiction, adventure trilogy that brings to life the invisible struggle ensuing in the spiritual realm and uncovers some of the truths from Ephesians 6:10-18.
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DIANNA AUTON
5 Steps to Success in 2018 "If you want to see yourself succeed in whatever situation you are in then you must make the time to invest in yourself."
Everyone is thinking about and starting to plan for 2018. Of course at the end of every year this is usually what happens. We begin by looking back over the year and viewing all the good, the bad and the ugly and start making mental notes about what we would like to do to make the next year better. It's a time for evaluation. We all go through this every year in different areas of our lives. Sometimes even more than once. However, I have noticed that there are 5 things you must do as a Christian woman that can be used in every area of your life in order to help you succeed. Some mights seem like a “duh" moment to you
but really think about it. Are you actually doing them?
1. Put God First - (Matthew 6:33) I know this seems to be a given, but many times we don't do it. We allow spouses, kids and work to come first rather than God. We don't get up and talk to Him first thing in the morning we immediately jump into our days in order to get through another scheduled packed time so that we can get to the weekend and then completely and totally ignore spending any good quality time with the King. But this is not good. With any good relationship we must
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develop it, which means we must make it a piroity. In fact the relationship between us and Father God should be the most important relationship that we grow and nurture. Because I have personally found that if we put this one first then all the other relationships in our lives tend to fall in line.
2. Find Your Tribe - (Prov. 24:6, Prov. 19:20 & Prov. 8:33) What do I mean by find your tribe? What I mean is find that group of friends that encourage, support and pray for and with you. This is not a group of yes people. This is a group of real friends that stand by you when times get tough.
They pray with and for you. They give you the truth in love because they know you can be a better person. They want to see you succeed. It's also people that you can give back to. You rely on each other. Your spouse can be a part of this tribe but you also need some friends that are not right in the middle of situations that you are in that can be a sounding block and possibly see things differently than you might. This tribe is not a big one and the members may change throughout different seasons of your life. But they are there for you and you for them. It's usually just a handful of individuals that you can trust with the truth of the situation and that won't make you feel bad for being honest but will help you to see what God would have you see about yourself. I have 4 or 5 women in my life right now that is a part of my tribe. A couple have been with me for many years but there are also a couple that have just become a part in the past few years. God has given me these women to help encourage me but for me to encourage them. In the tribe you stand together.
3. Invest in Yourself - If you want to see yourself succeed in whatever situation you are in then you must make the time to invest in yourself. Of course there are responsibilities that you must take care of but if you will start investing in yourself by reading books, listening to teachings or watching videos
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on the areas you want to improve you can start to see a big change and a big difference in your life. Even if its just a few minutes a day you can begin to see differences. However, you can not make changes if you are not willing to put a little time and effort into yourself.
4. Create Positive Daily Habits - This actually goes in line with both #1 and #3 on our list. Creating positive daily habits or routines you can do both number #1 and #3 on a daily basis. In other words, create a routine that every morning you spend 10 minutes in God's Word and 10 minutes in prayer and then another 10 minutes in reading a book or listening to a podcast. Of course once you start the time will increase. But start somewhere. Also incorporate other things that you do or need to do every day such as exercise, make your bed, get dressed, etc. But be intentional. Whatever daily habit you create make sure you stick to it. I've heard that it takes 21 days to make something a habit. So if you can create a positive daily routine and stick to it for 21 days then it will become a part of who you are. It might be hard but it will be worth it in the end.
5. Learn to say "No" so you can say "Yes" - You can not be a yes person all the time. As women we want to help and we like it when we are needed so we tend to say yes to things all the time. You can't do
that. It will lead to burn out and fatigue both physically and emotionally. You must learn that you can say No. And you can do that in a loving way. I've personally had an issue with this. I would say yes all the time because I understood how hard it was to find the help needed. However, I would get worn out fairly quickly. Someone said to me one time that it was okay for me to say no when asked. That changed things for me. I would then start weighing the options when asked. I found that for a while I had to say no a lot. It became easier each time but then later on I was also able to say yes to the things God wanted me to do and I wasn't worn out or run down. I was ready for whatever
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he had for me. If you would just commit to these 5 steps every single day you will see yourself succeed in 2018. I wanted to end this with some resource sites and ministries that work specifically in helping women succeed. The top 3 I read/listen to personally on a weekly basis. I think it is vitally important that we put ourselves into a position of success. And if you will do #1 then all the rest of the steps will come so much easier. Here is too an awesome 2018!! Terri.com HannahKeeley.com PropelWomen.org LoveGodGreatly.com Proverbs31.org
Dianna Auton holds a Bachelor of Science in Christian Education and grew up in the home of a minister that taught her the importance of ministering where you are at. Her personal ministry is to encourage women of all walks of life to serve God. She lives with her husband of 18+ years, Andy, and daughters in East Tennessee, where she serves in her local church. You can connect with her on her personal blog, "A Little Bit of Everything" at: diannaauton.wordpress.com
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CHRISTY HENDERSON
The Scrooge Syndrome
As I was texting one of my best friends I realized how negative I had become. At this time of year I would be considered the biggest Scrooge on the block. The past two years have been filled with one devastating blow after another. When one major issue would just about end and I could take a breath, another one started. I was so bogged down in all the struggles that I lost the will to think positive about anything.
I cried out to God so many times that I’m sure He was saying "Oh no it’s her again". Or that’s the way it seemed to me. My journey now poses a question, how in the world do I remain positive when there is nothing left to be positive
about.? I’m holding back tears and laughter at the same time due to the fact that the first thought that comes to mind is “Cry out to God”. Luke 11:9 NLT “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be open to you." Well since God knows all things past, present and future, He already knows how many times I’m going to cry out to Him. If He was going to get upset He would have hidden this scripture from me so I
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would stop pestering Him. How do I get the Scrooge syndrome to stop? I mean it’s Christmas for goodness sake. I had to stop and think why so much was happening? Most of the negative events that took place were out of my control. Writing this article made me search for an answer because Scrooge was really doing a number on my frame of mind and making Christmas almost impossible to enjoy. One answer is found in Job 36:15 NLT "But by means of their suffering, he rescues those who suffer. For he gets their attention through adversity." This was a big ouch for me. I had become so focused on all the negative stuff I failed to see Jesus at the end of the tunnel. Instead of turning to Him in the middle of the adversities I turned away from Him by trying to fix everything myself. It occurred so gradually I didn’t even see it happening. But when I re-read the text I sent my friend I thought “Oh my God please help me turn to you and stop this never ending cycle”. When I read Ps 69:29 NLT "I am suffering and in pain. Rescue me, O God, by your saving power" ; I realized I had to believe what this scripture said not just pray a desperate prayer and go right back to the Scrooge syndrome. I also remembered what Joyce Meyer said on TV last Sunday “Watch what you say or you will be going around that same mountain again.” And boy have I been going around that mountain. Just getting further away from anything that
remotely looked like peace and Joy. The words I was texting was the product of a never ending negative cycle. This produced a slow spiritual death due to the fact I was trying to fix everything and not giving it to the one who could fix it all with ease. I realized too that being negative isolates you. I became so focused on finding the answers to all these problems it kept me from going anywhere or enjoying anything good. There was a dread, a sense of losing something if I released the negativity. It was a struggle just to laugh a little. I had become addicted to the negative emotions that stemmed out from the problems. Don’t laugh, but it was time to cry out to God again. How do I release these negative emotions so I don’t go around this mountain again? I know if this cycle doesn’t end the rest of my life will be
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filled with one tragedy after another. Nobody will want to be around me for any length of time without feeling like running away. I can hear them now saying “Oh no the Scrooge lady is back.” I know someone like that, bless her heart. She is so negative nobody wants to spend any time with her. She is what I call a baby Christian. Ok time to fix it, the right way. Back to Christianity 101. As you start this process get a mature Christian friend you trust to help. James 5:16 (KJV) "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much." Explain to them what has transpired and admit there is a problem, which for me is the Scrooge syndrome. Confess with your mouth there is sin. Lev. 5:5 (NLT) "When you become aware of your guilt in any of these ways, you must confess your sin." Romans 10:10 (KJV) says "…and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." Pray and believe God is there, more than willing to fix everything. Knowing is not enough, you have to believe. Which takes faith, as a friend on one of my jobs reminded me. Mat 18:20 (KJV) "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." This is the safest place to be, in His presence. Gathering together and praying in His name with a friend you trust opens the door for the Lord to be with you. He will be forever with you
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if you make prayer and faith a priority on your list when things go wrong. Don’t let fear come in and steal it away the next time something devastating happens. Human instinct will kick in if you let it and put you right back into Scrooges back pocket. Ps 27:1 (KJV) "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid." Memorize this scripture and seal the deal with praise and worship from the heart. Satan cannot exist in the presence of praise, he will run from it because it takes faith and hope to praise. He is the opposite of faith and hope. This scripture sums it up quite nicely, Romans 12:12 (KJV) "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer."
The next time the Scrooge syndrome comes on the scene be quick to pray and give it to Him, use patience and sing. God can do amazing things when we give it to Him. I pray this is a wonderful life changing present for someone, especially at this time of year. Blessings on your Christmas as we celebrate Jesus’ birth. Forever Looking Up!
Christy Henderson
is a wife and mother of two grown daughters, living in South Carolina. Patiently awaiting grand-children.
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