Understanding and Enhancing Self-Confidence: Unlock Your Potential Self-Confidence: Signs of Struggles vs. Confidence A person struggling with confidence:
An Informational Guide for Auburn Students
Feels a sense of control over his/her life Believes that challenging goals can be achieved with effort Remains positive and accepting of self even when some expectations are not met.
Depends excessively on other’s approval to feel good about self Avoids risk taking for fear of failure Typically expects to not be successful Often puts self down Ignores or discounts compliments Sees self as less than most, if not all, others Questions own self-worth frequently In contrast, a self-confident person: Holds a positive, realistic view of self Sees BOTH positives and negatives about self
How Self-Confidence Initially Develops While many factors affect the development of self-confidence, primary caretakers are pivotal to how children see themselves. The early years of life are particularly influential to one’s view of self. The presence of unconditional acceptance allows for a solid foundation of positive feelings about oneself. Please note, unconditional acceptance is distinctly different from unconditional agreement of decisions made or behaviors taken. It also does not mean a lack of boundaries or expressed expectations. Caretakers can disagree with children and still set expectations that provide unconditional acceptance.
Trusts his/her own abilities quietly Does not feel the need to conform for acceptance
Involvement of caretakers who are excessively critical or demanding, as well as those who are overprotective or
discourage progressions toward independence can result in a child seeing him/ herself as incapable, inadequate, or inferior. On the other hand, caretakers who encourage self-reliance and convey love and acceptance, even when their children make mistakes, provide a foundation in which children accept themselves and subsequently develop self-confidence. Often, lack of self-confidence is not related to lack of ability but rather to focusing too much on others’ (particularly parents’ and society’s) unrealistic expectations or standards. Friends can also influence one’s view of self, but this typically come after the initial impact of caretakers. At times in one’s life, however, friends’ impact on self-confidence can be more impactful than parents or society. College can be a time of vulnerability regarding one’s sense of self because students often re-examine values and further develop their own identity.
Problematic Assumptions Influencing Self-Confidence Assumption: “I must always have love