A&U August 2017 by A&U: America's AIDS Magazine

AUGUST 2017 • ISSUE 274 • AMERICA’S AIDS MAGAZINE

WRITERS (NEVER) RETREAT

• Randy Boyd • Mark Olmsted • Anne-christine d’Adesky • Marshall Thornton

*plus

Chris Hewitt Awards • John Boucher • Raymond Luczak • Charles Stephens

dustin

LANCE BLACK

Inspired by Heroes in the Fight Against AIDS, the Oscar-Winning Screenwriter Keeps Hope Alive

WHAT IS ODEFSEY®? ODEFSEY is a 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years and older. It can either be used in people who are starting HIV-1 treatment, have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, and have an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral load”) that is no more than 100,000 copies/mL, or in people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements. These include having an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL) for 6 months or more on their current HIV-1 treatment. ODEFSEY combines 3 medicines into 1 pill taken once a day with a meal. ODEFSEY is a complete HIV-1 treatment and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines. ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses, you must keep taking ODEFSEY. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body ﬂuids. Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body ﬂuids on them.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

Liver problems can also happen in people who have not had liver disease. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your liver enzymes before and during treatment with ODEFSEY. •

•

What is the most important information I should know about ODEFSEY? ODEFSEY may cause serious side effects: Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. ODEFSEY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking ODEFSEY, your HBV may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking ODEFSEY without ﬁrst talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health.

•

Who should not take ODEFSEY?

Do not take ODEFSEY if you take: • Certain prescription medicines for other conditions. It is important to ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with ODEFSEY. Do not start a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider. • •

The herbal supplement St. John’s wort.

Any other medicines to treat HIV-1 infection.

What are the other possible side effects of ODEFSEY?

Serious side effects of ODEFSEY may also include: • Severe skin rash and allergic reactions. Skin rash is a common side effect of ODEFSEY. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get a rash, as some rashes and allergic reactions may need to be treated in a hospital. Stop taking ODEFSEY and get medical help right away if you get a rash with any of the following symptoms: fever, skin blisters, mouth sores, redness or swelling of the eyes (conjunctivitis), swelling of the face, lips, mouth, or throat, trouble breathing or swallowing, pain on the right side of the stomach (abdominal) area, and/or dark “tea-colored” urine. •

•

Depression or mood changes. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you: feel sad or hopeless, feel anxious or restless, have thoughts of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt yourself. Changes in liver enzymes. People who have had hepatitis B or C or who have certain liver enzyme changes may have a higher risk for new or worse liver problems while taking ODEFSEY.

Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to ﬁght infections. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking ODEFSEY. Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking ODEFSEY if you develop new or worse kidney problems. Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. Bone problems, such as bone pain, softening, or thinning, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking ODEFSEY? •

•

All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or have had any kidney, bone, mental health (depression or suicidal thoughts), or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection. All the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Other medicines may affect how ODEFSEY works. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. Ask your healthcare provider if it is safe to take ODEFSEY with all of your other medicines. If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if ODEFSEY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking ODEFSEY. If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see Important Facts about ODEFSEY, including important warnings, on the following page.

Ask your healthcare provider if ODEFSEY is right for you. ODEFSEY.com

ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

SHOW YOUR

RADIANCE

ODEFSEY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day HIV-1 treatment for people 12 years and older who are either new to treatment and have less than 100,000 copies/mL of virus in their blood or people whose healthcare provider determines they can replace their current HIV-1 medicines with ODEFSEY.

IMPORTANT FACTS

This is only a brief summary of important information about ODEFSEY® and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

(oh-DEF-see) MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT ODEFSEY

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF ODEFSEY

ODEFSEY may cause serious side effects, including: • Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. ODEFSEY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking ODEFSEY. Do not stop taking ODEFSEY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months.

ODEFSEY can cause serious side effects, including: • Those in the “Most Important Information About ODEFSEY” section. • Severe skin rash and allergic reactions. • Depression or mood changes. • Changes in liver enzymes. • Changes in your immune system. • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. • Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. • Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. • Bone problems.

ABOUT ODEFSEY •

•

ODEFSEY is a prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years of age and older who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before and who have an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral load”) that is no more than 100,000 copies/mL. ODEFSEY can also be used to replace current HIV-1 medicines for some people who have an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL), have been on the same HIV-1 medicines for at least 6 months, have never failed HIV-1 treatment, and whose healthcare provider determines that they meet certain other requirements. ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others.

Do NOT take ODEFSEY if you: • Take a medicine that contains: carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Epitol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®, Tegretol-XR®, Teril®), dexamethasone (Ozurdex®, Maxidex®, Decadron®, Baycadron™), dexlansoprazole (Dexilant®), esomeprazole (Nexium®, Vimovo®), lansoprazole (Prevacid®), omeprazole (Prilosec®, Zegerid®), oxcarbazepine (Trileptal®), pantoprazole sodium (Protonix®), phenobarbital (Luminal®), phenytoin (Dilantin®, Dilantin-125®, Phenytek®), rabeprazole (Aciphex®), rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater®, Rimactane®), or rifapentine (Priftin®). • Take the herbal supplement St. John’s wort. • Take any other HIV-1 medicines at the same time.

HOW TO TAKE ODEFSEY • •

ODEFSEY is a complete 1-pill, once-a-day HIV-1 medicine. Take ODEFSEY with a meal.

GET MORE INFORMATION •

• •

This is only a brief summary of important information about ODEFSEY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more. Go to ODEFSEY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 If you need help paying for your medicine, visit ODEFSEY.com for program information.

The most common side effects of rilpivirine, one of the medicines in ODEFSEY, are depression, trouble sleeping (insomnia), and headache. The most common side effect of emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide, two of the medicines in ODEFSEY, is nausea. These are not all the possible side effects of ODEFSEY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking ODEFSEY. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with ODEFSEY.

BEFORE TAKING ODEFSEY Tell your healthcare provider if you: • Have or have had any kidney, bone, mental health (depression or suicidal thoughts), or liver problems, including hepatitis infection. • Have any other medical condition. • Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. • Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: • Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. • Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with ODEFSEY.

ODEFSEY, the ODEFSEY Logo, LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE, SHOW YOUR RADIANCE, GILEAD, and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Version date: April 2017. © 2017 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. ODEC0087 07/17

“

We need to throw away the stigma and fear about HIV testing. It’s time we make HIV testing a part of our health routine. — Jay Ellis, Actor

”

I’M

DOING IT Testing for HIV

#DoingIt Testing is Fast, Free, and Confidential cdc.gov/DoingIt

c o n t e n t s August 2017

32 Cover Oscar-Winning Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black Talks to A&U’s Dann Dulin About How the Activism of the Past Informs the Strength of the AIDS Community Today

Departments

Features 28 Gallery Photographer Jim Wigler Revisits Lost Portraits of Individuals Living with HIV/AIDS, Taken During the Early Days of the Pandemic 38 Safety Net Activist & Journalist Anne-christine d’Adesky Bears Witness to the AIDS Crisis of the Nineties 40 Creativity as a Survival Tool In His Memoir, Ink from the Pen, Mark Olmsted Shares His Journey of Recovery 42 All We Know to Do A&U’s Fifth Annual Christopher Hewitt Awards Honors New Literary Works by Raymond Luczak, John Boucher, and Charles Stephens cover photo by Sean Black

Frontdesk

Digital Footprints

NewsBreak

Ruby’s Rap

viewfinder 17

Bright Lights, Small City

Our Story, Our Time

Second Acts

My Turn

Brave New World

lifeguide 48

Access to Care

Destination: Cure

The Culture of AIDS

Lifelines

Survival Guide

A&U Frontdesk

Glass Half-Full

s we go to press, UNAIDS has announced nearly 20 million people worldwide are receiving life-saving antiretrovirals—that’s about half of the men, women, and children currently living with HIV. But I wonder if that’s the glass half-full. What about the other 20 million living with HIV who don’t have access even to aspirin, let alone HIV drugs? While HIV no longer progresses to an AIDS-related death for the majority of Americans living with the virus, other regions hard-hit by the pandemic cannot say the same. As Annie Lennox pointed out in a recent video for her AIDS-related philanthropies, HIV/ AIDS is why there are still countless grocery store aisles only carrying caskets and funeral decorations in southern Africa. While even the most vocal AIDS activists must admit that the stats are not nearly as grim as they were twenty years ago, it is still an important question to ask: Will we have universal, or near universal, access to care, not just for North Americans, but for folks still living in the frontline of the war on AIDS? Fighting for access to care is clearly working in the U.S. According to the CDC, eighty-five percent of the estimated 1.1 million individuals living with HIV/AIDS know they are positive; forty-nine percent of those engaged in HIV care are virally suppressed. We need to keep up this momentum because, here and abroad, the scales have tipped not only for treatment but for preventing new infections. According to UNAIDS, “the 90-90-90 targets are galvanizing global action and saving lives. Eastern and southern Africa [are] leading the way to reducing new HIV infections by nearly 30% since 2010—Malawi, Mozambique, Uganda and Zimbabwe have reduced new HIV infections by nearly 40% or more since 2010.” UNAIDS also states that AIDS-related deaths have fallen from 2 million in 2005 to 1 million in 2016. Michel Sidibé, Executive Director of UNAIDS, is confident that the world is “on track to reach the global target of 30 million people on treatment by 2020.” UNAIDS reminds that the work is not done: “Globally, progress has been significant, but there is still more work to do. Around 30% of people living with

AMERICA’S AIDS MAGAZINE issue 274 vol. 26 no. 8 August 2017 editorial offices: (518) 426-9010 fax: (518) 436-5354

HIV still do not know their HIV status, 17.1 million people living with HIV do not have access to antiretroviral therapy and more than half of all people living with HIV are not virally suppressed.” That final word is the key one. Without suppression (more attainable than a cure), HIV will continue to keep scientists up late at night and AIDS activists unwilling to dismantle their protest signs. Most of the news coming out of UNAIDS and other organizations relies on quantitative data. But we can’t forget qualitative data—those thick descriptions and nuanced interviews that tell a more complex story about living with HIV/AIDS than numbers can. And while researchers have done a fine job with qualitative analysis, it is also important to turn to other experts in this field—writers, those who are on board or who might be enlisted to bring greater consciousness to the fact that the AIDS war is not over. Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black leads off our Summer Reading Issue. The Oscar winner for Milk brings insight to his discussion about the generation gap when it comes to AIDS and LGBTQ activism: “When young people start to rail against marriage equality I say, ‘Well, you never survived a plague. You never saw what it meant to have your relationship delegitimized when your partner died. Everything you built and owned together was taken away.’” Other nuanced insights abound in our interviews with the authors of two memoirs, Anne-christine d’Adesky and Mark Olmsted, as well as in the work of the three winners of our fifth annual Christopher Hewitt Awards: Raymond Luczak, John Boucher, and Charles Stephens. While numbers tell some of the story, they do little to destigmatize the disease or show the emotional cost of living with HIV or the breadth of empowerment possible when people fight back. In this issue, join me in honoring those who heal through words. Writers— they are our true AIDS ambassadors!

DAVID WAGGONER

Editor in Chief & Publisher David Waggoner Managing Editor: Chael Needle Senior Editors: Dann Dulin, Sean Black Editors at Large: Chip Alfred, Hank Trout Special Projects Editor: Lester Strong Arts Editor: Alina Oswald Consulting Editor: Nick Steele Copy Editor: Maureen Hunter Contributing Editors: Sarah Churchill Downes, Reed Massengill, Kelly McQuain, Lesléa Newman, Robert E. Penn Contributing Writers: Tyeshia Alston, Noël Alumit, T.J. Banks, Larry Buhl, Ruby Comer, Diane Goettel, George M. Johnson, John Francis Leonard, Angela Leroux-Lindsey, Dale Reynolds, Connie Rose, David Rosenberg, Corey Saucier, Stevie St. John, Justin B. Terry-Smith, Patricia Nell Warren, Jeannie Wraight, Rob Zukowski Art Director: Timothy J. Haines Contributing Photographers: Jordan Ancel, Davidd Batalon, Mark Bennington, Tom Bianchi, Sean Black, Adam Bouska, Brian Bowen Smith, Tim Courtney, Duane Cramer, Stephen Churchill Downes, Greg Gorman, Francis Hills, Renée Jacobs, Michael Kerner, Tara Lessard, Tom McGovern, Nancy Perry, Annie Tritt National Advertising Director: Harold Burdick, Jr. Sales & Marketing: David L. Bonitatibus Advertising Sales Office: (518) 426-9010 National Advertising Representative: Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 Subscription Info: (518) 426-9010 Circulation Manager: Robert Schelepanow Bookkeeper: Richard Garcia Board of Directors President: David Waggoner Vice President: Harold Burdick, Jr. Secretary: Richard Garcia Founding Board Members: Mark S. Labrecque, 1961–1992, Christopher Hewitt, 1946–2004, Mark Galbraith, 1962–2011 In Memoriam: Bill Jacobson, 1939–2005 Rhomylly B. Forbes, 1963–2011 • Chris Companik, 1957–2012 Nancy Ellegate, 1959–2015 A&U (ISSN 1074-0872) is published by Art & Understanding, Inc., 25 Monroe St., Suite 205, Albany, NY 122102743, USA. For A&U advertising information please call 518-426-9010; for subscriptions and address changes please call 518-426-9010; for letters to the editor and unsolicited manuscripts write A&U Magazine, 25 Monroe Street, Albany, New York 12210; fax 518-436-5354; or e-mail: mailbox@aumag.org. All unsolicited manuscripts that do not have a S.A.S.E. cannot be returned and will not be acknowledged. ©2017 Art & Understanding, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. A&U may not be reproduced in any manner, either in whole or in part, without written permission of the publisher. A&U and the graphic representations thereof are the registered trademarks of Art & Understanding, Inc., a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization. Individual Subscription rates: $24.95 (12 issues). Institutional rates: $80.00 (12 issues). For subscriptions outside the USA and possessions, $30.95/Canada, $49.95/ international, payable in advance in U.S. currency. First North American serial rights revert to contributors upon publication. A&U retains the right to anthologize work in further issues, as well as in microform or reprinting on the Internet within the context of each issue. Statements of writers, artists and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publisher. Readers note: subjects and contributors to A&U are both HIV-positive and HIV-negative. In the absence of a specific statement herein concerning the serostatus of any individual mentioned in, or contributing material to, this publication, no inference is made with respect thereto and none should be implied. Letters written to A&U or its contributors are assumed intended for publication. Art & Understanding, Inc. assumes no responsibility or liability for unsolicited submissions and does not guarantee the return thereof. PostMaster: Please send address corrections to A&U Magazine, 25 Monroe Street, Suite 205, Albany NY 122102743, USA

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digital

s t n i r p t o fo

toptweets

topcomments Chung & Van Etten photos by Sean Black; cupcakes photo courtesy Sprinkles/ETAF; Schalchlin photo by Annie Tritt

Composer Steve Schalchlin, interviewed by C. Todd White and featured in our May 2017 issue “It has been awhile since I’ve come across a profile like this, after tending to and eventually saying good-bye to so many friends in the 1980s and ’90s that lost the battle with AIDS. Needless to say, Mr. Schalchlin, you are an inspiration in a world that is in perpetual chaos. One thing about HIV, especially with long term survivors is that we appreciate what life has to offer and take nothing for granted, especially with the little time we have, and that time is always in my consciousness.” —Bill Guy

Our July 2017 profile on HIV and transgender activist Cecilia Chung, by Connie Rose, prompted many likes and shares. “I find it imperative for media outlets to consistently share representations of women like Cecilia because transphobia, alone, is one of the most significant barriers to progress and [actual lived] equality. “I have much admiration for Cecilia, as we work together as members of the steering committee for the U.S. People Living with HIV Caucus. I have seen how she has created and successfully developed the project Positively Trans (T+), where she has touched so many lives and done so much work, not only elevating the concept of community but strengthening it with research, media, and advocacy. All this is not easy and I have witnessed Cecilia go head to head with people as she defends or fights for inclusion so the voice of the transgender community is included and shares in the benefits in our movement. [These benefits] usually [only] trickle down and at times are never seen by the members of our communities more in need. Cecilia does not wait for it; she demands better treatment of her and her trans sisters and brothers, which benefits all of us. “And here is what is important to note: it takes a lot of energy, strength, and determination to engage in those fights; part of your soul is left in there and I think she embodies the spirit of a warrior perfectly. We are so very lucky to have her, and to celebrate her! “Thank you to Connie Rose for such a great interview and to you all for sharing with us Cecilia Chung.” —Marco Castro-Bojorquez

@AmericasAIDSMagazine AUGUST 2017 • A&U

@au_magazine

@au_americas_aids_magazine 7

newsbreak

NNewsBreak EWSBREAK Remembering Olvidados Working with community-based organizations and clinics across the nation, the Latino Commision on AIDS, in partnership with the Hispanic Health Network, recently released a first-of-its-kind report about the needs of older Hispanics/Latinos who are living with HIV/AIDS. Citing a gap in research about this population, particularly when it comes to knowledge about older monolingual Spanish speakers and recent immigrants, and knowing that many Latinos face barriers in accessing and engaging in healthcare, the writers wanted to create a more complex and nationwide community needs assessment of this fifty-plus group (the fastest-growing aging population) and aid in better health outcomes by providing recommendations for service providers. The result is “Olvidados: A National Health Assessment of Latinos Growing Older with HIV,” a wide-ranging report that enlisted 157 Hispanics/Latinos ages fifty to eighty, a majority of whom were not born in the U.S. and were extremely low-income. Many had not attained a formal education level above high school. Participants mostly lived in cities with high rates of HIV infection and large Latino populations, including Camuy, Fajardo, and San Juan, all in Puerto Rico, Houston and San Antonio, Texas, New York City, Los Angeles, and Miami. All individuals were somehow linked to care, so the report’s findings do not provide the full scope of the needs of this aging population, particularly those who are disengaged from care and/or do not know they are positive. According to CDC’s 2015 statistics, Hispanics/Latinos represented about twenty-four percent of new HIV diagnoses, even though they make up only eighteen percent of the U.S. population. In addition, older Hispanics/Latinos are at greater risk of infection when compared to the non-Latino white population. Key findings, based on quantitative and qualitative data, highlight the places where service providers could do better: • Engagement in care to the point of viral suppression was high; most respondents reported that they were linked to a provider, had insurance coverage, and a viral load that was undetectable. However, one in four respondents on average expressed dissatisfaction with some part of their provider’s care. • Roughly forty percent of respondents on average stated that providers asked them about health-related issues— such as mental health, cancer, substance use, sexually transmitted infections, and violence—during visits within the last six months. • Treatment adherence proved to be an issue for one in three respondents. • Though nearly half of the respondents (forty-three percent) reported sexual activity within the last three months, they infrequently engaged in dialogue with their provider about sexual health. • Dialogues with providers about substance use were also infrequent. Substance use among the respondents was low and twelve percent stated that they were in recovery. • Depression was reported by half of the survey respondents. To read the full report, log on to: bit.ly/2h0d61X. For more information about the Latino Commission on AIDS, visit: www.latinoaids.org.

The Future of HIV Medicine The HIV Medical Association (HIVMA) has awarded fourteen medical students across the U.S. the opportunity and funding to engage in three-year clinical learning and research projects to advance knowledge about prevention, care, treatment, and control of HIV and ultimately improve the lives of patients with HIV/AIDS. Leaders in HIV research who are also HIVMA members at their respective institutions will mentor the 2017 HIVMA Medical Student Program Award Winners. The students will also receive free membership to HIVMA and the Infectious Diseases Society of America, and a stipend of $3,500 per year for up to three years. Projects will be pursued here in the U.S. and abroad, and include research to understand unprotected sex among adolescent girls in Kenya; HIV reservoirs in relation to vaccine development; HIV prevention and care outreach among homeless populations, including transgender youth; the cervicovaginal microbiome’s influence on HIV susceptibility; PrEP delivery via maternal and child health clinics in Kenya and PrEP interventions among young Black MSM, among other projects. For a full list of students and mentors, log on to: www.hivma.org.

A&U • AUGUST 2017

opening session photo © Marcus Rose/IAS; backpack photo © IAS/Steve Forrest/Workers’ Photos

U Equals U Confirmed by New Studies, Embraced at IAS 2017 A newly completed study of 358 serodiscordant gay couples has not found a single case of HIV transmission in 16,889 acts of condomless anal sex. The Opposites Attract study, conducted by the Kirby Institute at UNSW, Sydney, made its report to the 9th International AIDS Society Conference on HIV Science (IAS 2017) in Paris, France, in July 2017. Opposites Attract has shown that HIV-positive men who have achieved an undetectable viral load via effective treatment do not transmit HIV to their partners. It is the largest study to date to analyze HIV transmission risk among homosexual couples with differing HIV status. Researchers recruited and followed-up gay couples at clinics in Australia, Bangkok, Thailand, and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The evidence from Opposites Attract adds to the findings of the PARTNER study: HIV-positive people on effective HIV treatment that fully suppresses their virus cannot transmit their infection through sex. Taken together, the two studies have not found a single case of HIV transmission in nearly 40,000 acts of condomless anal sex between gay men. Reacting to the studies’ findings, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the U.S. National Institute for Allergies and Infectious Diseases, said: “Scientists never like to use the word ‘Never’ of a possible risk. But I think in this case we can say that the risk of transmission from an HIV-positive person who takes treatment and has an undetectable viral load may be so low as to be unmeasurable, and that’s equivalent to saying they are uninfectious. It’s an unusual situation when the overwhelming evidence based in science allows us to be confident that what we are saying is fact.” The findings lend great strength to the “U Equals U” campaign, begun by Bruce Richman, a Harvard-trained Glimpses of the opening session lawyer and prime force behind the of the 9th IAS Conference on HIV Prevention Access Campaign [A&U, Science (IAS 2017) in Paris, France December 2016]. Bruce has said, (top right) as well as an attendee in “In 2006 when I was diagnosed, I the Exhibition Center (bottom right). was terrified of infecting someone I loved… But in 2012 when I finally started therapy, my doctor told me that if I suppressed my viral load, I would become non-infectious….” Getting doctors and policy-makers on-board with U=U “is demolishing HIV stigma and encouraging people to start treatment and bring an end to the epidemic.” The U=U Consensus Statement was signed on to by NAM, by UNAIDS, and by the IAS at the Conference. “This is life-changing news for couples of differing HIV status. But it is important that the HIV positive partner is under regular medical care and does not miss any of their antiretroviral medication in order to ensure they maintain an undetectable viral load” noted Professor Andrew Grulich of the Kirby Institute and chief investigator on the Opposites Attract study. The National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) funded the majority of this study, complemented by a two-year extension made possible by the Foundation for AIDS Research (amfAR), ViiV, and Gilead. For more information on the Opposites Attract study, visit: www.oppositesattract.net.au. For more information on IAS 2017 in Paris, log on to: www.ias2017.org. For more information on the Prevention Access Campaign and “U=U,” visit: www.preventionaccess.org.

Youthful Suppression Also out of the 9th IAS Conference on HIV Science (IAS 2017) in Paris, France, comes news that a nine-year-old South African child who was diagnosed with HIV at one month of age and received HIV treatment for forty weeks during infancy has suppressed the virus without anti-HIV drugs for eight and a half years. The South African child is the third infant who began HIV treatment very soon after birth, stopped treatment after months or years, and went on to control HIV infection for a prolonged period. A French child diagnosed at three months of age and treated for somewhere between five and seven years is still controlling HIV off treatment eleven years later. A third child, known as the “Mississippi Baby,” began receiving treatment thirty hours after birth, stayed on treatment for eighteen months and then stopped, controlling HIV for twenty-seven months before the virus re-emerged. Researchers in South Africa and the United States are still trying to explain how the nine-year-old child has controlled HIV. They are careful not to describe the case as a cure; instead, they say, the child’s HIV infection is in remission, controlled by factors that are still to be understood. A large study, IMPAACT P1115, is testing the hypothesis that beginning antiretroviral treatment of HIV-infected newborns within forty-eight hours of birth may permit long-term control of HIV replication, potentially leading to HIV remission. The study began in 2014 and has enrolled forty-two HIV-infected infants. The first children may become eligible to stop ART in late 2017. AUGUST 2017 • A&U

by Ruby Comer

midst the din of small-talk chatter, my ears perk up. “The epidemic deeply affected me,” casually reveals Carver Duncan to me—then stops. He’s greeting passengers outside the state-ofthe-art theater aboard the cruise liner, The Viking Sea. He and his fellow musicians just finished a rousing production of “The Music of ABBA,” and they left the audience dancing in the aisles! Carver had dropped a bomb, but this wasn’t the appropriate time to continue the discussion. We agree to meet tomorrow in more quiet surroundings. In my cabin later that night, I drink red wine on my balcony, allowing the gentle sounds of the Mediterranean Sea splashing against the ship to lull me into a state of euphoria. The moon amplifies the beauty of the serene scene. With computer at hand, I research Carver on social media. One of his tweets: “I just accidentally said ‘idiocity’ instead of ‘idiocy’ proving that I am, in fact, an ‘idiot.’” I like him already. The Triple Threat (singer, dancer, actor) hails from Vicksburg, a small town outside Kalamazoo, Michigan; he tells me later: “The population is so small that it’s classified a ‘village.’” Carver, twenty-four, is a Virgo—just like yours truly. NYC is now his home, but he landed a nine-month contract with Viking, an absolutely unparalleled cruise line. I was talking to Johan, the assistant manager of the World Café restaurant, and he said, “Viking hires on smiles, not skills. That gets you through the first interview.” That says it all about the friendly crew aboard this circuitous trip from Barcelona to Barcelona. What a ship! C’mon, we’re talking heated bathroom floors, free laundry facilities (including soap), every day in your room filtered water is supplied in glass carafes (plastic is toxic), and complimentary land tours provided at each port! Viking is heavy

into charity and operates an extensive corporate giving and sponsorship program around the world. Their core commitment is to arts, culture, and health. They also extend support to a vast list of nonprofits, donating hundreds of staterooms each year. Back to Carver, whose CV includes the national tour of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, West Side Story (received a BroadwayWorld Award for Best Actor), High School Musical, and Legally Blonde. He’s a graduate of NYU Tisch School of the Arts, and has performed at Radio City Music Hall, Joe’s Pub, and the Beverly Wilshire, in Los Angeles. Carver has also participated in benefits on behalf of Broadway Cares. At 6 p.m. sharp, before his evening performance, I meet Carver at the World Café on Deck 7. We are dining outside on the stern, with the romantic Monte Carlo lights twinkling around us. Ruby Comer: Carver, tell me [I fire in rapid succession]: your favorite movie, the book you’re currently reading, a role you’d sell your right arm for, and who influenced you spiritually. Carver Duncan: Well, let’s see...in that order: unquestionably, Young Frankenstein by Mel Brooks; the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series; Pippin; and Brené Brown. She is brilliant. If you haven’t listened to her speak or read her stuff, do it. She’s

helped me through so much. Who have you learned from? Gee, I haven’t heard of her. Will check out. As for me, well, I’ve learned a lot from Louise Hay. [I pause.] And…Carver, Carver, Carver, I can definitely see you as Pippin. Ever so much! So tell me, what calls to mind when the epidemic is mentioned? Truthfully…I think about two profound plays that introduced me to the subject— Angels in America by Tony Kushner and The Normal Heart by Larry Kramer. Both are brilliant pieces depicting what so many have lived through. Omigosh, brilliant. Brilliant. [I take a bite of my dee-lish peanut-encrusted chicken A&U • AUGUST 2017

Ruby illustration by Davidd Batalon; photo by Jackie Abbott of JMA Photography

Carver Duncan

Hmmm…. [He shakes his head.] What kind of heartbreak must someone have gone through to say something like that? By studying and practicing the art of this time, we are engaging and interacting as characters that have lived through these times. The actor’s job is to put themselves fully and completely in another’s psyche. Carver, you’ve captured it wholly…and beautifully. Insightful. I am secretly a bit of a nerd! I thought I was maybe destined to be a mathematician or a doctor, but halfway through my education, I realized that the arts were my true passion.

Carver performing on The Viking Sea

ship photo courtesy viking sea; singing photo by Chris Dikman; street photo by Jackie Abbott of JMA Photography

breast with lemongrass sauce.] I encountered both plays my freshman year of college at Tisch. My fabulous professor, Mr. Kent Gash, exposed us to such great material that year and these were two of the plays that he assigned scenes from. A daunting task for one so young, but it pushed us all to understand these characters and what they were experiencing. It taught us so much about this time in American history. Indeed. When I was working on a scene from Angels in America, my acting teacher told an incredibly moving story about one of his close friends who died from AIDS. He told us what it was like to open the newspaper every week to see which one of their friends passed away. Or what it was like to attend a funeral every week. Heart-wrenching. It affected their lives palpably and dramatically. [He takes a moment, as the warm breeze flips through his dishwater blonde strands.] Though I did not experience the epidemic firsthand, just listening to his stories and other’s experiences, I connected to the material instantly and intensely. And like you said last night, you channel all that into the character you’re creating. Yes, Ruby. In class, I played the part of Prior in Angels. I felt that it was coming from a truthful and honest place. [He pauses, biting into his sushi.] I appreciate all those people who were so open and generous to tell me their personal stories. For an actor, yes, quite beneficial. [All of a AUGUST 2017 • A&U

sudden I size him up. He looks at me quizzically.] I have to tell you, you have an uncanny resemblance to Andrew Rannells…. Ruby, if I had a dime for every time someone said I remind them of Andrew Rannells, I’d be rich! Yeh, I have to admit I agree. Sorry to interrupt your train of thought. Please forge ahead. [He smiles.] If you study the history of theater the epidemic is so evident in art from this time. One of my favorite musicals, Into the Woods by Stephen Sondheim, which opened on Broadway in November 1987… [I interrupt] You even know the date! You sure are a Broadway baby…[we both chuckle]. The musical twists a lot of famed childhood stories into a brilliant piece for everyone to enjoy, with spine-chilling melodies and unbelievable emotion. In the second act, the giant comes down the beanstalk and begins killing people without rhyme or reason. Think about it…a large, unseen monster taking the lives of innocent people in the late eighties. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? It took the witch’s daughter without warning, leading the witch to unimaginable heartbreak and devastation. She says “Remorse will get you nowhere. Wake up. When you’re dead, you’re dead.”

Another passion of yours is to give, like Broadway Cares. Where does that come from? My parents definitely instilled that value in me. I have two of the most supportive and generous parents on the planet and they have always encouraged me to give back whenever I can. Broadway Cares is an amazing organization that helps so many and it is my honor to assist them, whether it’s lending my talents to a benefit concert or putting some money in the red buckets on my way out of a Broadway play. Unfortunately, so many of your generation are becoming infected with the virus. Can you address that? Several of my friends back home are infected. [He thinks.] We must continue to encourage everyone to get tested regularly. Knowledge is power. Besides that, always be safe…no matter what! [With that, he pecks me on the cheek and bows out to his performance of Beatlemania called The Long & Winding Road that’s staged in the mammoth pool area, with the night stars substituting for the ceiling.] [Carver doesn’t get far until he abruptly stops, turns about face, and returns to me, concluding in a more-than somber staccato tone] Tell your readers, don’t…let…one… poor… decision…affect…the…rest…of …your…life. Ruby Comer is an independent journalist from the Midwest who is happy to call Hollywood her home away from home. Reach her by e-mail at MsRubyComer@aol.com.

Bringing hearts together since 1998

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Detecting Stigma

oon after I began writing for A&U last year, my editor informed me that I would also be, partly, responsible for promoting my own and the magazine’s work via social media. For a long time I’d stayed well clear of it— Facebook in particular was anathema to me. He suggested Twitter as an alternative and, while hesitant at first, I was soon like a duck to water. Through it, I can easily promote my pieces as they go online. It’s been a wonderful tool and the feedback and support I’ve gotten both for my work and my incessant Tweeting on politics has been rewarding. Occasionally with politics, an aggressive conservative has something nasty to share with me, but I soon block them. I have no interest in engaging with trolls; I find it pointless. I was recently surprised when an initially positive exchange about one of my columns turned negative, nothing rude or aggressive mind you, but it left me feeling very unsettled. Admittedly, I could have handled it better in the end, but I had good reason to be offended and insulted. In my April column, I talk about a new guy I’d been seeing and the fact that in the end, it is ultimately his choice whether we use a condom or not. I preface this with an important detail or two, however. I reiterate for him and the readers that, according to the best science, Undetectable=Untransmittable. I’ve made it clear in more than one piece that, with someone who I’m seeing regularly and am interested in for the long haul, I would like to be able to engage in sex without a condom if he’s fine with that. This doesn’t apply to casual encounters; I just don’t have those any longer. But if I did, I think the same theory is sound as long as the fact that HIV is hardly the only STD is not forgotten. This column was retweeted by readers more than once. As I always try to do, I DM everyone who does RT it and thank them for their support. It’s started some great conversations and given me great feedback on my work. One person however was different. He thanked me for pointing out how important communication is between men and their sexual partners, but it went south from there. The first thing that irked me was his need to quickly point

AUGUST 2017 • A&U

out that he and his “long-term partner” were both negative and committed to each other. As if the distinctions of being both negative and in a relationship made him, what? “Superior” to me? But, I swallowed that, I’ve heard it pointed out so many times as a badge of honor, especially online, that I may have been taking offense where none was intended. So, I read on. He went on to compliment me again on my “well written” article. Then, quickly he got to his point. He felt that my desire to have my partner forgo a condom was tantamount to “granting them a death wish.” And besides that although medications may be available, “they don’t come cheap.” Now, as a fourteen-year long-term survivor of HIV and someone who bore witness to some of the worst years of the plague, I was deeply offended. Even worse, I was feeling patronized! For fourteen years, every month, I stand at a cash register with my heart in my throat watching the actual cost of my medications tally and crossing my fingers that there won’t be yet another glitch with the two insurance plans that cover them. You’re telling me that they don’t come cheap? To add insult to injury, you’re telling someone who watched countless friends die that AIDS is deadly? And to be clear, AIDS is no longer a death sentence unless you’re not being treated. And what is the biggest deterrent to people getting tested and into treatment? Shame and stigma, both of which I was being subjected to in this exchange. He made a point in the exchange, which went back and forth for a bit, that he wasn’t judging me. It did not feel that way,

however. He was insistent that there was no conclusive proof that Undetectable=Untransmittable—he claimed that a simple online search would bear him out. Well, there are years of research saying it is and a simple online search will also tell you that there’s no proof of global warming and that millions of undocumented immigrants committed voter fraud in the last election. We went back and forth with no one budging until I’d had enough. I finally blocked him. Perhaps I should have been more compelling in my argument but I have a definite threshold when I feel someone is clearly ignorant of facts. I thought carefully about this piece before I wrote it. It’s been almost a month since that exchange and, yes, maybe I could have been more persuasive. But there’s one thing I won’t do and where I draw the line. I won’t be marginalized, I won’t be patronized, and I won’t be made to feel ashamed—not any longer. John Francis Leonard is an advocate and writer, as well as a voracious reader of literature, which helps to feed his love of the English language. He has been living with HIV for thirteen years and he is currently at work on his first novel, Fools Rush In. Follow him on Twitter @JohnFrancisleo2.

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

a heated conversation about undetectable=untransmittable

SOMETIMES, OUR HIGHEST HEIGHTS HAPPEN

LONG BEFORE TAKEOFF. Proud Partner of the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation.

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Beyond the Ban

we need to get creative & empowered about hiv testing

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

t’s been seventeen years since President Clinton first declared June to be Pride Month in the United States, commemorating and highlighting the historical achievements of LGBTQ persons. A month which includes Pride celebrations across the country, now forever scarred with the remembrance of one of the deadliest shootings in the history of the United States. This year, we celebrated the oneyear anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting, remembering those who have passed, and celebrating the lives of those still here. However, we also remember that day after the shooting—of long lines of LGBTQ persons trying, and not being able, to donate blood—and how, one year later, we’ve seen no progress towards creating change in the discriminatory practice. The history: In my article “The Orlando Massacre Revealed Hyper-Homophobia and HIV Stigma Outweighing Need for Blood Donors,” I discussed the history of this ban. To quote: “In 1983, at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) placed a ban on blood donated by any man who had sex with another man since 1977. This was seen as a precautionary measure due to a lack of reliable tests to screen blood for HIV and the disproportionate number of those affected coming from this particular community.” This ban lasted for almost thirty years, when the FDA finally decided, in December of 2015, to make a “groundbreaking” decision to lift the total ban and allow MSM who hadn’t been sexually active for at least one year to donate blood. Although this move was seen as progress, it inherently promotes homophobia and perpetuates the stigma that those who are LGBTQ are more likely to have “tainted” blood. Now almost eighteen months into the new regulations, there is still concern around whether this ban does more harm than good, and if the FDA’s approach should be evaluated differently as the HIV epidemic is still a problem for marginalized populations in this country and worldwide. Blood that is donated is tested for several abnormalities, including HIV. According to TheBody.com, “Blood donations are screened for several different infections AUGUST 2017 • A&U

that could be passed on to the recipient of the blood—including HIV. If donated blood appears to have HIV or any other abnormality, the donor will be notified within a few weeks. This may be by letter or telephone. It will be necessary to be tested again to confirm that the first test done was accurate and not a false positive.” This is a topic that is rarely discussed if ever, and hasn’t seen much in the way of statistics that discuss how many people find out they are HIV-positive through this medium. However, the American Red Cross urges “people who are concerned about their HIV status and those who may have undiagnosed HIV not to donate blood.” The tests are extremely sensitive but may miss early transmission of the virus, meaning it could be passed on through blood transfusion. Although this is a major concern, what if the FDA were able to streamline a process of testing blood that could not only reduce the risk of transmission but improve upon the notification process? Should the ban be lifted, the natural thing to expect would be an increase in blood donations from the LGBTQ community. With the newest HIV technology, the antigen test is able to detect HIV much earlier than prior tests, which required the body to wait for antibodies to form. Using this test on blood donations could significantly reduce the concern for blood possibly having HIV in the early stages of detection and prevent it from going into a transfusion. If blood donations were treated as a means of testing, the HIV community could potentially reach clients that wouldn’t typically get tested due to stigma and belief in self-screening and protection methods. I would then suggest creating a position within the Red Cross and other blood donor depositories that would work as Community Healthcare Workers and Linkage to care specialists to contact these preliminary positives to work with the

health departments in their cities to get a confirmatory test and finish the linkage to care process. However, this attempt does provide some cons, most importantly the fear that people would reject the idea of donating blood if they knew that the FDA had measures in place to link them into care, instead of the current process of notification of potential exposure. Weighing out these scenarios is important as we strive to see a generation free of new HIV transmissions, and with less burden of discrimination and criminalization placed on those who are HIV-positive. Although this measure could bring a fear of donating blood, I do believe that fear should be outweighed by what is in the best interest of the public, donor, and those needing blood. Which is creating a country working towards the reduction of HIV, while removing the discrimination, stigma, and the criminalization of the past. We are now thirty years into fighting the epidemic, and although we have seen much progress, there is much concern moving forward as we continue to work through an administration looking to reduce HIV funding, with no real HIV strategy. Now is the time that we take radical action and put the systems in place necessary to detect new infections, using every method we have available. George M. Johnson is a black queer journalist and activist. He has written for Ebony, TheGrio, JET, Teen Vogue, Huffington Post, Black Youth Project, and several HIV publications. Follow him on Twitter @iamgmjohnson.

YOU MATTER AND SO DOES YOUR HEALTH

That’s why starting and staying on HIV-1 treatment is so important.

WHAT IS DESCOVY®?

DESCOVY is a prescription medicine that is used together with other HIV-1 medicines to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years and older. DESCOVY is not for use to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection. DESCOVY combines 2 medicines into 1 pill taken once a day. Because DESCOVY by itself is not a complete treatment for HIV-1, it must be used together with other HIV-1 medicines.

DESCOVY does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses, you must keep taking DESCOVY. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body ﬂuids. Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body ﬂuids on them.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

What is the most important information I should know about DESCOVY? DESCOVY may cause serious side effects: • Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. DESCOVY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking DESCOVY, your HBV may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking DESCOVY without ﬁrst talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health. What are the other possible side effects of DESCOVY? Serious side effects of DESCOVY may also include: • Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to ﬁght infections. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking DESCOVY. • Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking DESCOVY if you develop new or worse kidney problems. • Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being

more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. • Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. • Bone problems, such as bone pain, softening, or thinning, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones. The most common side effect of DESCOVY is nausea. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or don’t go away. What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking DESCOVY? • All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or have had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection. • All the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Other medicines may affect how DESCOVY works. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. Ask your healthcare provider if it is safe to take DESCOVY with all of your other medicines. • If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if DESCOVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking DESCOVY. • If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Please see Important Facts about DESCOVY, including important warnings, on the following page.

Ask your healthcare provider if an HIV-1 treatment that contains DESCOVY® is right for you.

IMPORTANT FACTS

This is only a brief summary of important information about DESCOVY and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment. ®

(des-KOH-vee) MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT DESCOVY

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF DESCOVY

DESCOVY may cause serious side effects, including: • Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. DESCOVY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking DESCOVY. Do not stop taking DESCOVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months.

DESCOVY can cause serious side effects, including: • Those in the “Most Important Information About DESCOVY” section. • Changes in your immune system. • New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure. • Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. • Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. • Bone problems. The most common side effect of DESCOVY is nausea. These are not all the possible side effects of DESCOVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking DESCOVY. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with DESCOVY.

ABOUT DESCOVY • DESCOVY is a prescription medicine that is used together with other HIV-1 medicines to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years of age and older. DESCOVY is not for use to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection. • DESCOVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others.

BEFORE TAKING DESCOVY Tell your healthcare provider if you: • Have or had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis infection. • Have any other medical condition. • Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. • Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: • Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. • Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with DESCOVY.

GET MORE INFORMATION • This is only a brief summary of important information about DESCOVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more. • Go to DESCOVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 • If you need help paying for your medicine, visit DESCOVY.com for program information.

HOW TO TAKE DESCOVY • DESCOVY is a one pill, once a day HIV-1 medicine that is taken with other HIV-1 medicines. • Take DESCOVY with or without food.

DESCOVY, the DESCOVY Logo, LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE, GILEAD, and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Version date: April 2017 © 2017 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. DVYC0057 05/17

Left for Dead

Randy Boyd the great, the bad and the ugly about

living with hiv/aids, thirty-plus years and counting

photo courtesy R. Boyd

died three decades ago. In my early twenties. At the apex of the AIDS crisis in America in the 1980s. I’m long gone from this twenty-first-century world of smart phones, social media and black former presidents. I never met the Internet. I acquired what the media faithfully called “the deadly disease” in 1985—long before Magic Johnson’s 1991 HIV announcement, after which the world prepared to say goodbye to the basketball legend. I, a black gay man, died of AIDS-related complications at a time when society feared and persecuted “the innocent victims,” AIDS babies, born that way, and hemophiliacs, like young Ryan White. Breaking news of my impending death came in July, 1985, specifically, the day Rock Hudson admitted to the public that the rumors were true: one of the world’s most beloved movie stars was dying because of the frightening new disease rapidly spreading among and killing gay men. That night, AIDS night in America, coverage of the deadly disease went full blown. The doctors on TV informed the public, in so many words: “We don’t know much about this virus, but night sweats are an early symptom, and life expectancy, if you’re lucky, is twelve to eighteen months.” Finally an answer to a nagging question of mine: “Why am I waking up every morning, myself and my new futon bed soaking wet with sweat from the previous night?” I was a graduate of UCLA all of one month, and on that night, I realized that I, like Rock Hudson, was infected. 1985. Age twenty-three. In the closet. Alone. Me and my deadly disease. I knew I was going to die. That was science fact. Living in the Los Angeles area, the evidence was all around me. Gay men morphing into withered, zombie-like versions of themselves. Nothing on earth could combat the carnage. That was science fact. Living to see the 1990s was science fiction. Ditto for living long enough to see the turn of the century. Living long enough to see myself turn into a fifty-five-year-old black gay man eligible for senior citizen discounts in 2017? Pure science fiction. Until it became science fact. And a miracle, thanks to science. AUGUST 2017 • A&U

Seemingly not a week goes by where I don’t metaphorically pinch myself, and remind myself—with boundless gratitude— that I have the great fortune of still being alive. I’m actually living a dream come true! I’m still here on this planet earth, living, breathing, walking, existing, experiencing the unimaginable surprises that come from an extended life. The joy of seeing my mother alive and kicking in her early eighties. The joy of my mother seeing me alive and kicking in my mid-fifties. The thirty-two years and counting of the wonderful mother-son relationship we’ve enjoyed since AIDS night in America. “You’re going to be one of the lucky ones,” she used to assure me back when science had no answers. A mother’s love to make us both feel better, I always thought of it. The joy of her being right. However…key change…being alive, being a living, breathing example of this crazy modern day term—“living with HIV”—is not all joy and definitely not heaven on earth. There’s also pain, as in a downside, and most of it has to do with stigma, still feeling like a pariah, an AIDS monster, a misunderstood creature feared most by gay men, of all people. In the United States, the general public

no longer fears living around someone living with HIV/AIDS. Thankfully, the world has learned “you can’t get it from a hug, breathing the same air, sitting next to someone on the same flight, or even a blood transfusion.” What the world hasn’t learned: it’s possible to make love or have sex with someone living with HIV/AIDS without you, yourself, becoming infected. Don’t take my word for it. Behold all the evidence online where gay men tell us how they really feel about HIV/AIDS and those living with the no-longer-so-deadly disease. An entire lexicon has been created to ward off men with HIV, words and phrases that didn’t exist in their current context in the pre-AIDS world. Clean. Disease-free. DDF. UB2. No bugs. Clean and disease-free (as of a certain date). The mutations are endless, but the intent is clear: if you admit to having the virus, or appear to have the virus, whatever that means, “stay away from me, because I am only going to have relations with other men who tell me they are clean and disease-free. Even more attractive: those who provide me with a test date!” As if telling someone you’re clean—or believing someone else when they say “I continued on page 53

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Never Forget

Marshall Thornton why we should still be reading and

writing about aids

want to avoid our history. And I suppose it is a challenging history for straight people. The way the Reagan administration failed to deal with the AIDS crisis was not just a political failure, it was a failure of the country that elected Reagan in a landslide. He was able to ignore the AIDS crisis because it didn’t matter to the people who’d elected him. Perhaps, as a nation, we don’t want to deal with our own complicity. Or perhaps it is simply a case of survivors’ guilt. Or both. Whatever it is, we need to get over it. We need more fiction that deals with AIDS and HIV. We need fiction about the beginning of the epidemic, the middle, and the ongoing crisis. Not just to avoid a repetition of a tragic epidemic but because there are 1.2 million Americans living with HIV. They deserve to have their stories told. And the nearly 700,000 Americans who’ve died deserve their stories told as well. One of the things I find most interesting in writing about AIDS from today’s perspective is that the work can be very different from the AIDS fiction of the early days. Fiction written as the epidemic was unfolding was, quite rightly, very much a clarion call, an attempt to humanize our community so that the straight world would see what was happening to us. These wonderful books and plays and movies were an SOS to a world ignoring us. Don’t assume that I’m saying AIDS fiction from the first two decades of the pandemic is not worth reading. It is. Absolutely. It’s vital and immediate. I remember being particularly affected by David B. Feinberg’s Eighty-Sixed, the later Henry Rios Mysteries by Michael Nava, Larry Kramer’s The Normal Heart, and the films Parting Glances and Longtime Companion. These works, and others, still matter. If you can’t find contemporary work about the epidemic go back and read the wonderful work written during the worst of the crisis. As distressing as I find the disinterest in gay men with AIDS, the landscape is even worse for HIV-positive heterosexuals (and other populations) in fiction. Other than a few books, At Risk by Alice Hoffman, Veronica by Mary Gaitskill, and Push by Sapphire, I found very little. Though,

Armistead Maupin did include a non-gay subplot in Significant Others. The bright spot seems to be Young Adult Fiction where books about AIDS and HIV are diverse and seemingly more popular. Today, writing about AIDS is an opportunity to focus on the wonderful and terrible things that people in crisis do. As in any epidemic, some people step forward to become heroes, while others are engulfed in fear. That, of course, is the bread and butter of fiction—and, as a mystery writer, what I work with every day. There are tens of thousands of new HIV infections in the U.S. each year (an estimated 37,600 in 2014). The reasons for this are varied and I don’t fool myself into thinking that fiction can bring down that number. I do think if we, as a culture, were more engaged with the AIDS epidemic both in the past and the present it would have a tremendous positive impact on the lives of millions of Americans. So read about AIDS. Write about AIDS. Never forget. Lambda Award-winning author Marshall Thornton is best known for the popular Boystown mystery series. Other novels include the erotic comedy The Perils of Praline, or the Amorous Adventures of a Southern Gentleman in Hollywood, The Ghost Slept Over, and Lambda-finalist, Femme. Marshall has an MFA in screenwriting from UCLA.

photo by Anne Marie Fox

ne of the basic rules of being a novelist is to never publicly complain about the things readers say. So, what I’m about to say is not a complaint; it’s an observation. I write a mystery series set in Chicago’s Boystown during the early to mid-1980s, which means that one of the things I’m writing about is AIDS in the U.S., and I’ve been doing that through nine books. Along the way, I’ve seen readers openly say they don’t want to read about AIDS, claim the only stories that can be written about AIDS are predictable, and even that it’s cliché to include characters with AIDS in stories about gay men in the 1980s. On the one hand, I remember the tension and anxiety of the eighties and nineties very well and can understand why people might not want to revisit that. But I’m also afraid that if we stop reading and writing about AIDS, it will minimize the epidemic in a dangerous way. Without fiction that deals with AIDS, the further we get away from the epidemic, the smaller it will seem. The smaller it seems, the more likely it is that something similar will happen. To put AIDS into its proper perspective, here are some numbers: as of 2014, 636,000 Americans have died of AIDS. The number of American deaths in Vietnam was 58,209, World War II 405,399, and World War I 116,516; in fact the only war the U.S. has been involved in that even comes close to the number of people who’ve died from AIDS is the Civil War and there we count deaths on both sides. Stop for a moment and consider the number of books, films, and plays you’ve seen and read in your lifetime that deal with World War II. Vietnam. Even World War I. All are great topics for fiction, and yet none had the impact in lives lost that AIDS has had, and continues to have as thousands upon thousands of people die of AIDS each year. If you look closely at the “big” gay books of recent years (most notably Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life), you’ll notice first that a number of them are written by heterosexuals and that many avoid AIDS— sometimes going to great lengths to avoid it. These days, readers seem more than willing to read about gay men, or at least men who have sex with each other, yet they

A&U • AUGUST 2017

viewfinder

A Top 10 List

(because i’m usually a nicer person)

THINGS I AM UNEQUIVOCALLY DONE WITH: (or just want to complain about for a while) 5. Paying for stuff. Things are way too expensive! And why isn’t it free, anyway?! It’s greedy and unfair and creates huge socio-economic disparities. Supermarkets and restaurants throw away enough food in one day to feed the whole world three times over (this fact is completely made up and un-researched, but sounds about right). The same underwear that cost $45 in the gay part of town, you can order from China for $3 and the shipping is free! (Because shipping is just another imaginary thing they make us pay for, and I, for one, am tired of paying for things!) 4. Conversations about race, class, and socio-economic inequality. I no longer discuss race with White people. Just let that sit with you for a while... Stop. Nope! Not yet. Sit with it....Okay this is why. I am Black. And I am no more insightful than the next guy, so pretending that White people somehow don’t know what harm they are doing is a fallacy. They live in the same universe—have the same American history of lynching, murder, and slavery—and yet, they are constantly denying that racism exists! The fact that I have to ar-

gue that “Black Lives Matter” is a testament to a (certain) White person’s willingness to be complicit in our destruction. Now I know that sounds very “othering,” and accusatory, but remember my mother just died....And any compassionate person would give me a pass. (I’m going to milk that for a while) 3. Monogamy. I was miserable when I was faithfully seeking a “one true love.” As a certified slut, I am happier, healthier, and nicer to people. Much nicer! (Wink wink.) #SlutsUnite 2. Eating meat. I saw a documentary (What the Health) that freaked me out. So now I don’t eat things that die or cry. (Did I mention that my mom just died? I’m a bit emotional at the moment. ) Send Prayers and Hugs. 1. Discussing HIV with people on the Internet. Okay. So I know that is a little ironic since this is an HIV magazine...and it’s also highly likely that you are reading this on the Internet. And I will not quit fighting stigma and ignorance in my community, but nonetheless, I am so over it! The internet is full of people who think that someone else is supposed to protect them from a disease that we all know exists. I DON’T GET IT!! We’ve known for thirty years what fluids carry the virus (Google it.) We know all the stats about condoms, PrEP, PEP, and Treatment as Prevention

(Google it.) We all know that most HIV tests have a thing called a “window period,” which means that even if a person is technicaly negative, there is still a period of three to six months that cannot be accounted for so a negative is never really a NEGATIVE unless you stay celibate (Google it.) We know that all sex contains some form of risk, even if undetectable folks are 99.9 percent safe. And by the time you are thirteen you should have learned that you SHOULD NEVER TRUST ANYONE and no one is going to save you!! And yet most Internet trolls still think it’s the HIV-positive person’s responsibility to keep the negative person “safe.” That’s crazy!! What magic spell are we supposed to use to do that!? I’m in control of my body, and you are in control of yours! PERIOD. And before you write some comment in the “comments” about how your partner cheated. Just remember: I DON’T CARE. My mom died holding my hand last week, and I am overcome with grief. I was supposed to do a “Top 10 List”... but I only got around to five. Deal with it. I’m going back to bed. Love and Light. Corey Saucier is an artist and writer living in Los Angeles. He is a Lambda Literary Fellow in Fiction and Non-Fiction and is currently penning his first novel. His musings and wanderings on Love, Life, and Nonsense can be found at www. justwords.tumblr.com. A&U • AUGUST 2017

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

am emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally spent. So let’s keep it light. No long, lyrical extended metaphors this month. No highly stylized short stories about death, and dying, and love, and heartbreak....There has been enough of that—and I’m sure there will be plenty more; because life, in all of its madness and sadness and grace, stops for no one; not even for someone as pretty as me. (We must always call ourselves pretty—I haven’t bathed in a while, and you don’t want to smell my breath, and my eyes are beyond bloodshot, but in print...I am never anything but “pretty.”) So in honor of all the literary things this article will not be this month. I offer you a list of things I am done with— we’ll get back to the thought provoking opinion pieces next month (Maybe....You’ll get what I give you! My mom just died. That’s a pretty ironclad excuse.)

THE LOST FACES

OF AIDS Photographer Jim Wigler’s Lost Portraits of the AIDS Generation Still Haunt by Hank Trout

n 1986, as the AIDS epidemic claimed life after life and the shame and stigma surrounding the disease spread as rapidly as the virus itself, San Francisco photographer Jim Wigler knew he had to do something. “So many people in Gay AA were sharing about their experiences with AIDS,” Jim told me, “and public reaction to the disease was so hostile that I decided to do something to humanize the people coming down with symptoms.” That hostility extended even to medical professionals who were supposed to be helping patients. Jim remembers that many doctors wouldn’t even touch a patient suffering from AIDS. He knew he had to act, he had to fight back, with the only weapon he could wield: his camera. Because Jim had been a well-known photographer in San Francisco for years, publishing work in Drummer, Malebox, and other magazines, and had mounted exhibits in the City several times, he decided to work his contacts for subjects to photograph. “I talked to my friend, Tom Nolan, who was then on the Board of Supervisors in San Mateo, California. I told him about my idea to make portraits of people with AIDS, big awesome beautiful portraits which would bring out the humanity in each person.” Nolan enthusiastically supported the project. With Nolan’s help, and through his contacts in Gay AA and elsewhere, Jim rounded up sixty HIV-positive people who allowed themselves to be photographed—Jim believes they were among the first people in

the country to contract the virus; they were certainly among the first who were willing to be photographed and identified as AIDS patients. Again with Mr. Nolan’s help, Jim secured the financing to frame all of the portraits. The result was “The Faces of AIDS,” an exhibition of sixty 16-by-20-inch close-up portraits of men and women with AIDS, which debuted at the San Mateo County Fair in 1986. “The reaction to the exhibit was perfect. Although one of the pieces got spit on by one irate woman, most of the photos were revelatory to the onlookers.” The exhibit traveled to Grace Cathedral atop Nob Hill in San Francisco, where Canon William Barcus III not only embraced and supported the exhibit, he also posed for one of the exhibit’s portraits. Noted San Francisco columnist Herb Caen wrote about the 1986 exhibit, “Jim Wigler, whose somber exhibit…closes Sunday at Grace Cathedral, has created something of a worldwide sensation. The disturbing photos will be shown in Stockholm next summer, under the auspices of the International Red Cross; then at the House of Commons in London and, after that, probably the National Cathedral in Washington.” Clockwise from top left: John Lorenzini, circa 1986–1987, black and white film, printed on Kodak paper, 16 by 20 inches Sylvester, circa 1986–1987, black and white film, printed on Kodak paper, 16 by 20 inches Frederic White, circa 1986–1987, black and white film, printed on Kodak paper, 16 by 20 inches Larry Wady, circa 1986–1987, black and white film, printed on Kodak paper, 16 by 20 inches A&U • AUGUST 2017

A&U Gallery

with the AIDS Memorial Quilt displayed for the first time on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., during the National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, Jim’s “Faces of AIDS” exhibit hung at the American Red Cross. The exhibit continued to travel around the world with the Quilt. Unfortunately, traveling with thousands of panels of the Quilt and 101 large-scale framed photographs became terribly burdensome. Jim told me, sadly, “Over the years and after some neglect, the portraits seem to have disappeared—no one knows where the portraits are right now. I’ve tried to track them down, but no luck.” Thus, the sense of loss surrounding these portraits is compounded. Not only, Jim believes, are all of his subjects long dead, lost to the AIDS epidemic, the framed portraits themselves are “lost” to us. Fortunately, Jim still has the original negatives of all of the portraits. Their impact has not diminished since their initial showing in 1986. “Somber” and “disturbing” these portraits certainly are. All of the portraits are very close-up shots, with the subjects’ heads and faces filling nearly every inch of the photos, revealing every line and every wrinkle and, in some cases, every lesion on the subject’s face. Young and old, male and female, white folks and people of color, all are represented in this series of portraits. Many of the subjects of these portraits—Canon Canon William Barcus, circa 1986–1987, black and white film, printed on Kodak paper, 16 by 20 inches Barcus, Patrick Reilly, Edgardo Rodriguez, Jim continued adding portraits to the en with AIDS until he had a total of 101 among them—chose solemn, thoughtful project, photographing men and womblack-and-white portraits. In October 1987, expressions for the camera, one supposes,

A&U • AUGUST 2017

A&U Gallery

Jean Elizabeth Baker, circa 1986– 1987, black and white film, printed on Kodak paper, 16 by 20 inches to fit the solemnity of their situation. Still others chose to be remembered with their biggest, brightest smiles in place—John Lorenzini, Carson Tong, Frederic White and others all flashed 100-watt smiles at Jim’s camera and us, as if in defiance of the disease ravishing their bodies, smiling through the pain. Yet, those smiles cannot hide the anguish in the subjects’ eyes as the disease eats away at their immune systems. I am particularly drawn to a few of the portraits, especially the photos of Frederic White and Canon William Barcus. White’s portrait stands out for me because he seems to be one of the older subjects that Jim photographed; there seems to be a lot of living and great wisdom in the lines around his eyes, great love in that radiant smile—and yet his eyes also reveal a deep sadness, almost as if White realized that the scab on his forehead (perhaps a KS lesion?) would dominate the photograph. Canon Barcus’s portrait speaks to me, in the bottomless sadness in his eyes, of the grief and loss that all of us who lived through the Plague Years know too well. But perhaps the most powerful of these images—and certainly the most painful for me to look at—is the haunting photo of disco superstar Sylvester. I cannot claim to have known Sylvester intimately, but we were acquainted well enough to speak when we ran into each other on Castro Street. And one of my earliest and fondest memories of San Francisco is of Sylvester commanding the stage at the Castro Street Fair, holding thousands of us in the palm of his hands, lifting us to the heights of disco frenzy, wringing us dry as few performers could. No one who ever felt the warmth of Sylvester’s broad, sparkly smile will ever forget it. It is difficult for me, and painful, to try to reconcile this sad, somber photo of Sylvester—the last portrait he ever posed for—with the exuberant, wildly creative, gifted, inspiring disco queen who dominated every stage he graced right up to the end of his days. This photo, even more than the others in this series, reminds me of the inexpressible losses we all suffered AUGUST 2017 • A&U

because of the epidemic. “Loss” seems to permeate not only all of these portraits themselves but their history as well. Although he has no idea where the original prints are now, and cannot find anyone who does know, Jim hopes these portraits will find life again. He hopes to use the negatives that he still has to create a book of the portraits as visual reminders of the human lives we lost, with

commentary from doctors and nurses and other caregivers who worked with patients during the worst years of the epidemic, from artists and activists and politicians and other policymakers and writers who survived the epidemic. Jim believes that it is time to rediscover the lost faces of AIDS. Hank Trout, an A&U Editor at Large, writes the For the Long Run column for the magazine.

Telling Tales

Academy Award-Winning Screenwriter, Director & Activist Dustin Lance Black’s Stories Keep History Alive by Dann Dulin

Photographed Exclusively for A&U by Sean Black

AUGUST 2017 • A&U

ustin Lance Black needs a fix. He’s in Los Angeles for a few days from his home in London We arranged a meeting at his West Hollywood hotel. After my arrival, he firmly suggests we go out for some coffee. He inquires about the best place to go and I hesitate, as I’m not familiar with coffeehouses. I recall that I had driven past one on my way to meet him. Together we trek down Holloway Drive in the direct, late-morning sunlight,

chatting like two old friends.

I interviewed Lance in 2001 after the release of his first feature indie, The Journey of Jared Price, which he wrote and directed. I was touched and inspired by the story of a gay teen coming to terms with self-discovery. “It’s really good to see you again,” Lance expounds, as we momentarily take a whiff of a fragrant jasmine bush. “It’s been a generation since we’ve seen each other. A lot has changed in sixteen years….” I interject, “Yes, in your world!” I rattle off some of his achievements: On the Bus (a documentary about gays guys attending Burning Man), Pedro (about the life of Pedro Zamora, who was featured on MTV’s The Real World and died of AIDS-related causes), Big Love (an HBO series), J Edgar (directed by Clint Eastwood)—and now an Oscar (for Milk)! Smiling modestly, Lance is a trifle surprised

Now married, Chris and Samantha pose for their engagement photos

at my recall. “How much farther is this place?” he asks, perspiring from the intense sun. I point to the café just ahead on the corner. When we arrive, Lance places his order and asks if I would like anything. I decline and look for a quiet table, nearly impossible in these lively places. I spot one back in a cozy corner. Moments later, Lance joins me, placing his black java on the table and snuggling back against the window that looks out onto a tree-shaded patio. “Since we last saw one another, a lot has changed in our world [the LGBT community], including HIV,” Lance specifies, picking up from our earlier conversation. Several months ago, Lance’s seven-part miniseries When We Rise, based on LGBT and AIDS activist Cleve Jones’s memoir [A&U, January 2017], was aired on ABC over four nights. Black undertook an ambitious task, presenting over forty years of gay history, from the Stonewall riots in 1969 to 2015, when the Supreme Court recognized marriage equality. The series covers the AIDS epidemic and the ensuing medical breakthroughs, the Harvey Milk assassination, ACT UP, and Prop 8. It’s told through a handful of characters and certainly is not a complete history. I mean, over the past fifty years homosexuality has evolved in the public consciousness from a deplorable illness to legal same-gender marriage! Many of the characters in When We Rise, though HIV-positive, survive. The all-star cast includes Guy Pearce, Rachel Griffiths, David Hyde Pierce, Rosie O’Donnell, Rob Reiner, Whoopi Goldberg [A&U, June 2000], Michael Kenneth Williams, and Mary-Louise Parker [A&U, October 1999]. Black was floored when a major network expressed interest in the project. “By airing it on ABC, it means cementing the series in history, lifting it up so more people find it. I wanted it to be accessible,” he remarks. “The big push now is to get it into high schools across the nation. It’s now streaming online at ABC.com.” A friendly Italian waiter delivers Lance’s egg and Italian ham sandwich to our table. Black has admirers, as well as naysayers. Some argue that he has taken too much on and left out important events and key people. Critics said it was uneven, too broad, and had the tone of an afterschool special. But Lance is satisfied with the results. “We need more storytellers and more filmmakers,” he urges, being a bit affected by the negative press. “I’m a white gay man, and we need other people’s stories. Our diversity will come from diverse voices, telling stories from different perspectives. We gather strength by knowing our history.” Lance says the most common thing he hears from teens and young adults after they AUGUST 2017 • A&U

watch When We Rise is that they never knew how horrible some parts of the movement had been. They are angry that this history has been hidden from them. “They are very emotional,” he points out. Black excuses himself to get a refill. A sign above the counter reads, “Good Vibes Only.” Clothed in his trademark gear, skinny black jeans and a form-fitting light grey sweater, Lance cuts a lean solid figure for his forty-three years. With his clean good looks and skyscraper cheekbones, he could be in a Norman Rockwell illustration or stepping out of the pages of GQ magazine. In fact, Lance recently signed with Wilhelmina Models, a legendary agency that handles Nick Jonas and Nicki Minaj. He will be representing brands and his objective is to bring more diverse people into ads. “I want to lift up our differences,” he declares. “I find that hopeful and I will continue to do that any way I can.” He takes a hit of caffeine. “I think we are in grave danger if we assimilate. We need to celebrate the magnificence and value of our differences. We solve problems in this world by putting different perspectives on that problem, solving it quicker, better, faster and more permanently. Resist assimilation!” Reared mainly in San Antonio, Texas, Lance moved to the California central coast at age thirteen with his two brothers (one older, one younger), his mom, and stepdad. His biological father deserted the family after Black’s mother was diagnosed with polio. Lance grew up in a military Mormon household. “I was shy and closeted. I didn’t know there were people like me,” Lance laments. It was in theater that he found freedom. Lance went from high school theater to community theatre and graduated UCLA’s School of Theater, Film and Television in 1996. “Finding the theatre saved my life,” he admits, gazing away, his face resting upon his hand. It was during this period that he discovered Harvey Milk and began honing his writing skills. Born in 1974, Lance came of age during the boiling era of the epidemic, when being diagnosed could mean death. “If you were positive, you started planning your last moves,” he mutters sullenly, raising an eyebrow. His mom being an immunologist (HIV/AIDS nurse), Black was well versed on safe sex. “We had a conversation about it early on, so I took vigilant care of myself.” During his senior year of high school he was tested for the first time. Two years later, Lance lost a dear friend in Los Angeles. “He got sick and a month later came down with pneumonia. Friends of mine took him to the Free Clinic where they were advised to take him to the emergency room. When they arrived at the ER, a friend went in

to fetch help to bring him into the hospital. When he returned to the car, the guy was gone. He was twenty-one.” Kaboom! A symphony of chills swirl throughout my body. We sit for a moment in silence until Lance, eyes moist, utters frankly, “This was a wake-up call for all of us.” “My [theater] mentors would get sick and then usually just vanish,” he says. “Only later did I understand what was going on.” It wasn’t until the late nineties before Lance would encounter hope. He used to frequent this business where he could buy “short-ends,” discarded ends of film stock from major movie companies, that he needed for his films. His contact there was Paul, who over time became thinner and thinner. Lance was concerned. One time he walked in and was confronted with a new employee. “Instead of a skinny guy, there was this jolly chubby guy. I asked about Paul. He replied, ‘Honey, I’m Paul! I’m on meds now and getting better.’ I gave him the biggest hug.” Lance exalts a toothy smile. “Don’t floss your teeth [and exacerbate your gums to the point of bleeding] before you make-out with somebody because that might be a way to get infected,” recalls Lance of the status quo then. “I was my mother’s son, a very emotional, traditional guy. I didn’t have sex until I was in a relationship. I don’t regret that now. Since my group had lost friends to this disease, there was no question that we wouldn’t use a condom!” Even so, he would get tested regularly at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center. “It was free,” he recounts, “so a lot of people were doing it there. I knew I was all right, but it was my new gay duty. For the results you had to wait for about a week. During that time, there was this slow build of anxiety where I would analyze every little thing I had done over the last six months. I started convincing myself that I did something wrong.” He shakes his head back and forth then uses his hand to comb through his rich honey copper hair. “After a week, you’d return to get your results, sit in the waiting room until they called your name, and then go in with a counselor who would reveal your results. If you were negative, they would talk about how to keep yourself testing negative and if you were positive what your next step would be. I thankfully never got a positive result. It was so terrifying.” At that time there was no effective treatment. “It was very plain to my generation what we needed to do to stay alive and healthy. There was little talk about unprotected sex. It was just taken for granted that a condom would be used. There was no choice!” he pronounces adamantly. “That was a very specific time, in a very specific generation.” In 2012 Lance’s older brother, Marcus,

forty, died of bone cancer. When their father abandoned them, it was Marcus who took over the patriarchal duties and became Lance’s protector, even warding off their first strict stepfather. Lance came out to Marcus in the early 2000s, and Marcus accepted him with open arms. A few years later, Marcus came out to Lance. “When I give speeches now, I usually have something of my brother’s in my pocket and I just think about how he’s holding me as I get up there in front of all those people.” Two years later, Black’s beloved mother died. He’s currently writing about her in a memoir called Mama’s Boy: The Story of Two Americas. How does he deal with the loss? He replies in a flippant, wounded tone, “I don’t know. Get back with me in a few years.” He stirs his brew and gently plays with the swizzle stick. “It doesn’t get any easier. It feels like a plane went down and all the people I loved are in it.” He pauses. “I have one biological family member left.” He soothes the grief through service. “I knew I was very different growing up. I had a mom who was paralyzed and she looked incredibly different. She certainly moved differently,” he relates, as his index finger slowly circles the lip of his empty cup. “Scoliosis of the spine drew eyes her way and not in kind ways. I saw how she was treated negatively for her differences. I knew how I’d be treated negatively for my difference.” He sections off a helping of his sandwich and readies to bite, but instead concludes, “You combine the anger and the frustration, along with the empathy, and you get…Activist.” Cleve Jones, who conceived the AIDS Memorial Quilt, inspires Lance. “I’ve worked with him for a decade. He’s one of the only activists I know who got into this work as a teenager and is still doing it today,” he observes brightly. “You don’t get paid very much. It’s not an easy life, but I hope it’s a rewarding life and at the end of my days I hope I will be happy having spent my time this way.” Lance supports several AIDS organizations, including the Elton John AIDS Foundation, Project Angel Food, and GMHC. He directed a PSA for AIDS Project Los Angeles, with Jeffrey Katzenberg and Sara Gilbert. Among his other heroes are Larry Kramer (“I don’t always agree with him, but that’s good.”), Diane Jones (“What I admired about her was that I could never get her to use the word, ‘I.’ She only used, ‘we.’”), and Cecilia Chung [A&U, July 2017]. Jones and Chung are both portrayed in When We Rise. “Cecilia was out there fighting for a community that hadn’t even found its footing yet. She already had a steely sense of self worth and pride that inspired others and kept people alive—and gave other’s hope. Cecilia…is…a… AUGUST 2017 • A&U

visionary. I was so happy to tell part of her story,” he notes. “There’s more to tell.” Today Ms. Chung is on the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS and works at the Transgender Law Center. Lance’s phone vibrates. He answers. It’s Tom (Daley, British Olympic diver) calling from England. “I’ll only be a few minutes,” he whispers, his inquisitive delft blue eyes glancing my way then off. He strolls outside to the patio. (Though now married, at the time they were engaged. During our meeting, I asked him when they were getting hitched and he declined to answer. I prodded. “I’m not telling!” he refused flatly. Less than four weeks later, they tied the knot in a storybook wedding held in a castle in the English countryside.) Minutes pass. Through the window I espy Lance pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, passing the eatery several times, in and out of sight. He’s laser-focused. Lance and Tom are frequent targets of the paparazzi. They’ve been snapped smooching in a public parking lot, changing planes in an airport, and even on the beach, with bottled water in hand. Lance later tells me, “I live a very open life. The tabloids make up very colorful stories. It doesn’t really bother me. Here’s how I look at it. There will come a day when no one will want to claim to have slept with me or Tom and that will be a truly tragic day.” The two met at a mutual friend’s party after Tom was in town picking up an award from Nickelodeon. “He walked in an hour late with a gaggle of beautiful women. I assumed he was straight,” Lance reflects, already having known of Daly’s stature in the sport’s world. “We talked and he was very charming right off.” Lance left early, as he had to ready a script for the next day. On Lance’s exit, Tom approached him, took Lance’s phone and entered his own number, adding a semicolon and a parenthesis, making a winky face. “No straight man would do that!” giggles Lance now. “From then on we talked or texted every day.” A half hour passes. Lance returns. He’s apologetic. (I learn several days later that he and Tom were talking to the wedding planner.) Lance tells me that when he and Tom met four years ago, it wasn’t necessary for them to go out and get tested for HIV. Since Tom is a professional athlete, his health is constantly monitored, and of course, Black gets tested frequently. “Before Tom, though, when I entered a relationship both of us would test together,” he offers, scooting his bar stool a bit closer to our petite round wood table. “One guy I dated for awhile tested positive after we broke up. His diagnosis actually brought us closer together.”

In the past few years, Lance has been absorbed in fighting for marriage equality and sees a strong connection between this issue and the epidemic. “When young people start to rail against marriage equality I say, ‘Well, you never survived a plague. You never saw what it meant to have your relationship delegitimized when your partner died. Everything you built and owned together was taken away. You were told you had no rights to visit [your partner in the hospital], you had no rights to your home, to your property, and to you partner’s social security, unlike straight couples.’” He peers out the panes of glass and looks across the street at what used to be the iconic Tower Records building. Lance inhales and releases an elongated sigh. “…Late eighties, early nineties. I remember all the men’s lives who were cut short. Now I look to the youngsters out there today who have discovered PrEP. I’m hopeful this generation won’t experience what we experienced. It’s important for them to be informed. The fight is not over. PrEP doesn’t end the struggle. We’re learning that there are ramifications to completely unprotected sex, even if PrEP is one hundred-percent effective.” With that, we stride back to the hotel, conversing about our lives, politics, and films. The discussion circles back to this generation and HIV. “I hope they are having conversations about STIs,” persists Lance bluntly, crossing the street. “Just because you’re on PrEP doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt severely by other infections. You can’t assume the other person [if negative] is on PrEP either. It’s not a cure-all; PrEP is not a prevent-all.” Lance hammers on. “It’s our responsibility [as gay people] to end this disease and that might mean asking some uncomfortable questions. PrEP is a wonderful thing. Understand its power and use it wisely,” he advises. At the hotel, we have a farewell embrace, amidst the leafy surroundings and calming burbles from the lawn fountain. “Let’s not make it another decade before we get together,” Lance jokes. He takes a beat. “You know, Dann, these kids’ lives are precious. We need them to be strong so they can fight for equality…,” says Black, with intoxicated gumption. He marches off. The eternal Activist fades into the lobby, spinning yet another real tale that empowers us with encouragement. Sean Black photographed Chris Van Etten for the July cover story. Follow him on Twitter and Instagram @seanblackphoto. Dann Dulin is a Senior Editor of A&U. He interviewed Chris Van Etten for the July cover story. Follow him on Twitter @DannDulin.

safetyNET IN HER NEW MEMOIR, THE POX LOVER, AIDS JOURNALIST AND ACTIVIST ANNE-CHRISTINE D’ADESKY LOOKS BACK AT THE AIDS CRISIS by Alina Oswald

here’s a very fine line between triumph and disaster. That line is hope.” Best-selling author, HIV long-term survivor and activist Joel Rothschild [A&U, October 2003] writes in his book, Hope–A Story of Triumph. Hope has inspired many AIDS activists to fight for treatment, for a cure, to stay alive. At times, hope was all that many could hold on to, while trying to survive the AIDS crisis. Hope still inspires many to fight today’s AIDS epidemic, as well as related hate and stigma. Anne-christine d’Adesky is one of these AIDS activists. She doesn’t only fight the fight, but in her new book, The Pox Lover: An Activist’s Decade in New York and Paris, she also teaches newer generations how to fight the AIDS fight and other crises, while sharing a diary of the AIDS era. “That’s the good thing about diaries,” d’Adesky tells me over the phone. “We write them when we’re miserable. We write them when we’re in crisis. We don’t write them when we’re happy.” She further explains that she decided to call her book The Pox Lover because “in many ways, the AIDS epidemic is emblematic of a stigmatized illness. [AIDS] is not just a medical illness that came our way. It’s also a social, even sexual epidemic that in so many ways is characterized by this fundamental discrimination that is, and was, directed at people living with the disease. And it’s very much about homophobia.” The Pox Lover is a powerful read that captivates its readers right from its unusual, unconventional, and unexpected

title. The word “Pox” brings to mind the Middle Ages and the stigma related to diseases of that time. Centuries later, during the AIDS years, we witness stigma related to the disease of this particular time. What makes HIV different is the way people have been taught to fear HIV/AIDS. The author explains that “[p]eople don’t fear cancer because it’s not the same kind of transmissible disease. [That’s why] the word ‘Pox’ is an appropriate word [for the title,] because [it] still instills that fear.” Placing the word “Lover” next to the word “Pox”—Pox Lover—gives a human face to those stigmatized, in this case because of their HIV status, and helps humanize the narratives of those associated with the epidemic. “So, for me, putting these two words together was the correct way to describe my journey through the epidemic,” she adds. While her journey through her AIDS activism started before the nineties, her memoir focuses on the pandemic of the nineties. That’s because it wasn’t until the beginning of that decade that d’Adesky started keeping a consistent diary. “That was very much the journey that I wanted to talk about,” she says, “how we embody [the epidemic] even when we’re not living with the disease, as journalists or as friends taking care of friends who’re dying. So, especially for treatment journalists and science journalists, there was a very deep and profound sense of urgency in the sense of trying to pursue things. And it’s very much why I and many other journalists were so exhausted on an emotional level, working constantly to

“Powerful and personal, raw and riveting, d’Adesky’s diaries bring to life the everyday reality of living with the virus during the nineties....”

A&U • AUGUST 2017

photo by Juno Rosenhaus

try to respond to such a need for information.” Powerful and personal, raw and riveting, d’Adesky’s diaries bring to life the everyday reality of living with the virus during the nineties—the suffering, loss, sometimes the triumphs. “These are the stories that we don’t really know,” d’Adesky says. “For me it was important [to include them]. Now their legacy is going to be known and appreciated.” Throughout the years, HIV stories have followed in the footsteps of the progress accomplished in the overall fight against the virus. First, there were the stories of loss and survival; then, narratives of living, not only surviving, with the virus; the most recent stories touch on undetectability and an actual cure being within our reach. The author’s own evolution on the idea of eradication, as well as of living with the disease, also comes through in the book. “Certainly we will achieve remission,” d’Adesky says. “I think that we are in a constant conversation and dynamic with other things around us, including all of the pathogens. I have a lot of faith in the extraordinary human brain, and also in nature. We’re going to continue to be in a dance with our environment. And our immune system is going to continue to evolve with it. One thing I’m hoping is that we learn to embrace and view disease differently. AUGUST 2017 • A&U

It’s part of our engagement. And without it we wouldn’t be the way we are. You know, cancer is a good example. People

didn’t use to say the word ‘cancer,’ but our evolution has changed about that. continued on page 52

CREATIVITY as Survival Tool

In prison Mark Olmsted wrote his way back to sobriety and sanity by Larry Buhl

Photographed Exclusively for A&U by Sean Black

ith Orange Is the New Black as my best frame of reference, I asked writer Mark Olmsted what the show got right about life behind bars. “Bad food and bad facilities, the producers got that right,” Olmsted said. What doesn’t come through on the show is ongoing lack of food. “I got double portions because I was HIV-positive,” Olmsted told me. He was benefitting from a legacy policy from the time when there was AIDS wasting in the early years of the crisis. “But there’s real hidden hunger in prison.” The road to prison, paved with meth There’s a line in Olmsted’s book about his nine-and-a-half month stint in California corrections, Ink from the Pen, when he wonders what gay men were incarcerated for before crystal meth. The fellow gay men Olmsted met behind bars were almost all doing time for the same thing. “Most gays I met in prison had the same experience as me, meth-related, self-medicated, knocked out in the eighties.” Olmsted used meth through the nineties recreationally, and then increasingly, occupationally (aka, selling). Weekends became longer, the highs became lower, and the lows became more unbearable. In 2004 Olmsted was close to quitting altogether when a new client turned out to be working for the West Hollywood sheriff’s department. “The guy was wearing a wire and entrapped me to get his own [drug] charges reduced,” he recalled. Olmsted could have done the same

to reduce or erase his sentence, but he refused to rat out his immediate supplier, a friend he called Larry the Wizened Okie. “Ironically, Larry was arrested soon after I was and I met him in jail.” Olmsted explained that after using meth or any addicting drug for a while, the transition to dealer is pretty easy. “There’s that one friend who supplies. He introduces you to the dealer, you meet his connections, you become friends. He tells people to come to you.” Plus, unlike some users, Olmsted had a “clean apartment.”

“I got high with my clients. I had sex with my clients. People had this fantasy of doing it with their dealer.” This social and sexual interaction had the added benefit of reducing the neighbors’ suspicions: too many strangers coming in and going right out raises eyebrows. Just as I required a TV show to introduce me to prison life, I needed help understanding the appeal of meth and why it has a stranglehold on wide swaths of gay men. Olmsted set me straight. “The appeal, at first, is the super-charged libido. You can have an eight-hour orgy with costume changes. I was known as a bondage top. I don’t want to glamorize it, but it was very intense sex.” Olmsted’s journey from meth abuser to meth dealer to inmate—to, now, author— is anything but glamorous, and he said that over time meth works for nobody. “You suffer from the inability to feel pleasure after a while.” In recounting his lost decades, Olmsted is neither sentimental nor dramatic. As we spoke in his apartment in Hollywood, he explained that meth gave him a sense of invincibility that led to taking risks, eschewing money management and flouting the law. Sell meth? Hey, it pays well. Use your dead brother’s credit cards? Of course. Olmsted did have a regular job, as an editor at Genre magazine, before being laid off (not for meth use). He was always one of the “high functioning” addicts, not the paranoid, face-picking kind. Olmsted told me that his life on meth confused instant gratification with living in the moment. “I was the least paranoid drug dealer because I had lost my fear of death and consequences.” A&U • AUGUST 2017

That’s because he had fully expected to die of AIDS in the eighties. Survivor, the new season One of the longest long-term HIV survivors, Olmsted tested positive when the first HIV test came out, in 1988, but he knew he was positive before then. “I probably seroconverted around 1982 because that’s when I first started experiencing telltale symptoms.” Year after year of watching friends get sick and die and waiting for his turn that never came was disorienting, so much so that he titled his Master’s thesis, which he completed after the prison stint, The Disorientation of Survival. When Olmsted’s older brother Luke died of AIDS-related complications in 1991 at the age of thirty-four, it underscored the idea that he was living on borrowed time. When antiretrovirals made his HIV undetectable, Olmsted’s livefor-today ethos became as outdated as shoulder pads. Having a future returned to him was, as Olmsted wrote in the Huffington Post, “like starring in a play and finding out in the second act that they’ve added a third act, and you’re going to have to learn all the new lines during intermission.” The idea of imminent death changes your conception of time, Olmsted told me. “The suspense of waiting to die was killing me. Prison was the closest thing to dying I’ve experienced.” Writing away the pain The way Olmsted dealt with his new fear of mortality was to write. From the first time he was allowed to have a pencil in prison, he wrote. He had to wait a week for the writing utensil because while he was in the L.A. Men’s Central Jail awaiting his final assignment, he was on suicide watch lock down. He wasn’t actually suicidal. “My mistake. I thought the judge would be more sympathetic to me if I said I had thought about killing myself.” The judge wasn’t impressed, as it turned out. The writing process started with letters— many, many letters—to family members. Three months in, his sister started typing them up and posting to a blog. “Slowly I started writing with awareness that this was being read like a serial,” Olmsted said. AUGUST 2017 • A&U

Getting clean from meth was a creativity booster, Olmsted recounts. “For years I was only able to write poetry because meth completely reduced my attention span.” But it was his mother’s death in 2015 that jump-started the creative process. “When she died I began writing from the ground up using all the material I had. It had been difficult to write when she was alive because I kept imagining her pain. Just the fact of my being in prison was enough pain.” His mother never chastised him for his addiction and legal problems, though Olmsted wished she had. “I had to ask her to stop saying nice things. I needed a little punishment from her.”

Olmsted also wrote memory pieces about his childhood—a “fabulous childhood,” he tells me—to his mother to reassure her that he was all right. They made it into the book, leavening the prison anecdotes to make the book more of a true memoir. Getting cozy with Jimmy and Thumper Here’s a difference between the women’s prison depicted on Orange Is the New Black and the real world of men’s prisons: being open and gay for men is not cool. Trans inmates suffer even more abuse in men’s facilities. And men with HIV, well, they’re generally avoided for fear of “catching it.” The continued on page 53

All We Kn The Fifth Annual Christopher Hewitt Awards

n one of the poems that Christopher Hewitt published in A&U, and reprinted in our anthology, Art and Understanding: Literature from the First Twenty Years of A&U (Black Lawrence Press), coedited by Diane Goettel and myself, he touches on the despair someone feels when trying to be there for a dying friend: “I hold him so tightly / as if holding him could cure him /as if one hug / could fend off / the attack / It’s all I know to do...” The speaker in “All I Know to Do” laments that his comforting action is neglible in the face of the struggle that many living with HIV/ AIDS go through. But we know that moments like these do add up, do make a difference in our lives. Hewitt ends the poem with the speaker admiring his friend’s courage, among a list of traits. It points to the act of writing, ultimately. The speaker has done more than give a hug; he has created a portrait of someone living with HIV/AIDS and drawn attention to their individual humanity, their resilience, their pain, and their triumphs. The space of “all we know to do” is expansive. All three winners of this year’s literary contest do the same—using their pens to not only show the complexity of living with HIV/AIDS but also how small acts of bravery and integrity and empathy can transform the world for the better. The winner in the creative nonfiction category, judged by Rachel Aydt and Victoria Noe, is “We Blessed,” by John Boucher. Chicago-based writer and ACT UP/NY member Victoria Noe, who is the author of the award-winning Friend Grief series and the forthcoming Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community, commented: “I felt instantly transported. I felt like I could see everyone in the essay: how they walked, the look in their eyes, the pitch of their voices. Maybe because they reminded me of women I’ve known in the community, always ready to insist they are blessed.” Rachel Aydt, a part-time Assistant Professor of writing and literature at the New School University who has held staff positions in national consumer magazines including CosmoGirl and Cosmopolitan, was also transported by the essay, a feeling reconfirmed by second and third readings, adding, “I love it when writers can take something simple and add gravity to it—what’s so special about a trip to get a press & curl? In John Boucher’s hand, everything, and at the end of the day it left this reader feeling blessed to have read the story.” Top honors in fiction, judged by Randy Boyd and Joe Jiménez, went to Raymond Luczak for “The Love Whisperer.” Randy Boyd, a novelist who has received five Lambda Literary Award noms, stated: “‘The Love Whisperer’ was mesmerizing and engaging, taking the reader to a place and time in America that is both familiar and strange. The main character was quite memorable, the entire story very cinematic.” Joe Jiménez, the author of The Possibilities of Mud (Korima 2014) and Bloodline (Arte Público 2016), and the recipient of the 2016 Letras Latinas/ Red Hen Press Poetry Prize as well as a Lucas Artists Literary Artists Fellowship from 2017–2020, said, “The voice of ‘The Love Whisperer’ drew me in, which means I wanted to know the narrator, the ‘proverbial woman on the street whose name you’d never know even if we’d acknowledged each other with a nod for years.’ But the narrative voice alone is not the reason I like this story—it’s the writer’s ability to articulate the change both in place and person, the ability to tell a story that parallels Ironwood, the place, which once was ‘jumping alive’ and the narrator, who admits to us, ‘Twenty years ago I made a foolish

mistake.’ As the place has changed, so, too, evidently has the person, a positioning the writer conveys through image, selection of detail, and of course, of course, voice.” Charles Stephens’ ten-minute play The War Years won in the drama category, judged by Bruce Ward, whose AIDS-themed play Lazarus Syndrome has received two professional regional productions, and was the recipient of the 2007 2nd-place Jean Kennedy Smith ACTF award. “A ten-minute play is a tricky thing. It must provide valid characterizations, believable dialogue, conflict, and resolution, all contained within a ten-minute framework,” Ward commented. “The War Years succeeds as a ten-minute play because it does all of this, and more: It takes a complicated and expansive slice of history (the height of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980s), and personalizes it in a fresh way, through the lens of two young, African-American men, each dealing with grief in his own way, and yet, ultimately, coming together to share their collective grief. With humor and pathos that never feel forced or contrived, this short play is a welcome addition to the dramatic canon of theater pieces that bear witness to the AIDS epidemic.” Ward should know, as several of his ten-minute plays have been produced by the Boston Theater Marathon, and have been published by Samuel French. We are sad to report that there was no winner in poetry. Judges Noah Stetzer and Joy Gaines-Friedler, both widely published poets, found much to praise in many of the submissions but were unable to find a clear-cut winner. We are happy, however, that so many writers are interested in telling stories about the pandemic. And happy that our readers can help bear witness alongside them. —Chael Needle

fiction

by Raymond Luczak

The Love Whisperer

eople say that I’m a love whisperer. I don’t see myself quite that way at all. I’m a beautician with her own salon on Suffolk Street right across from where Hulstrom’s News Stand used to be. If you’re a man, you’ve probably never cared. I’m a slightly overweight middle-aged woman who hasn’t gotten around to wearing mom jeans and loose-fitting tops. I’m the proverbial woman on the street whose name you’d never know even if we’ve acknowledged each other with a nod for years. But if you’re a woman needing a little help with your relationship, well—you come right to me and get a nice haircut. When I was a little girl, downtown Ironwood was jumping alive, especially on Fridays. You couldn’t find a parking A&U • AUGUST 2017

now to Do space on Aurora Street. Now we’re lucky to see more than three cars parked there. Each block used to be jammed with stores. JCPenney is now a gym. Montgomery Ward is a small shoe store. There are several pawnshops now. Here and there is a vacant lot, a missing tooth in the smile of business boosterism. These gaps have been left alone long enough to bring back the rustle of saplings digging deeper to take root. My favorite department store, S&L, is now a corner park with a pair of benches. The overwhelming green of shrub and sapling is like a moss snaking up on the tree of my memories. Even the Diamond Shop has become a maroon-flavored coffeehouse that tries to be trendy, but it isn’t Starbucks. The shadows inside can’t evict my recollections of Rocky Russo, hunched over my watch under a lamp, as he fixed it. Each building still standing has a story. People come and go, but its bricks have collected dreams of break-even wealth like flies caught in the cobweb of time. My salon is in the oldest building downtown, but no one seems to care about this fact. At one time, when the mines were in full swing, thirty thousand people lived here in Ironwood. The last mine closed in 1967. All the pits had gone dry. People began leaving. Sometimes I still see them walking around town as if they’ve never left. There’s a lot of good-ol’-days residue in this town. It’s in the oxygen we breathe. Some people left behind have taken to drink. Some go reluctantly on welfare and grumble at their lot in life. Some volunteer at the Ironwood Area Historical Society at the depot where they brush the dust off the displays of the town’s glory days. When we fought in both World Wars, Ironwood was so damn proud of its iron ore. Others carry on and do what they can do. They meet every morning for coffee at Mickey D’s and socialize in funeral homes until their kids return to clear out their AUGUST 2017 • A&U

houses for sale so they can afford to move their parents into a local nursing home. Ironwood, Michigan has five thousand people now. Twenty years ago I made a foolish mistake. I slept with Jim, hoping that he’d impregnate me. That he was divorced with four kids didn’t matter to me. He was the handsomest man I’d ever seen. I didn’t want a husband again, but I wanted a child. We had met at the Midway Bar, and every Saturday night we’d get tipsy and laugh at the worst jokes we could ever think of. I never went home with him, though. I was content with being tipsy, but he wasn’t. He always had to get roaring drunk. But that one night—well, I had needs that couldn’t be met in any other way. I think I was a little in love with him. You could say that my ex-husband pretty much killed my notion of an all-encompassing love. A few months later I began having fevers and night sweats. Even though I hadn’t missed a period, I wondered whether I was finally pregnant. Dr. Faulkner assured me that according to my test results, I wasn’t. I had it, the thing that was blasting all over on the news. I’d seen pictures of thin men curling up with their fingers at the camera. I never could tell if they were ready to fight or die. But me? I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t in the habit of sleeping around! I wanted to yell at the world: why me, why me, why me? I’d just started up my salon. I had to educate myself about my new disease. Protease inhibitors had just come on the market. I was lucky. I tried to tell Jim, but he was too much of a drunk to care. I stopped going to the Midway. He died not long after in a car accident off the highway. I don’t think he’d ever understood. When I cut and trim my client’s hair, I can often sense whether her man hasn’t appreciated her lately, so I probe carefully with questions. I listen. That’s what I’m really good at. Then I whisper in her ear: act as if

you’re no longer married. You don’t have to serve your man 24/7. You see, the problem is that most men soon take their women for granted. I should know. I lived with such a jerk. He was so full of himself that he couldn’t believe that anyone would dare walk out on him. I sure kicked his ego in the butt. For the first time in my life I started believing I wasn’t a failure. My business is proof enough. Some angry husbands have stormed into my salon and called me a few choice names. Don’t blame me, I always say. If you’d just paid attention and treated her right, she wouldn’t have asked for help. So you better listen to her. They leave in such a huff that I almost laugh.

I hate going to the pharmacy off Lake Street where I pick up my refills. Any pharmacist would know what I’ve got just from looking at my prescription. No one in town knows. There’s a brown-haired young man whose eyes are always in a slight grip of fear when he sees me while on duty. I get so pissed because he should know better. Hadn’t he studied illness in college? Each time I see him, I want to whisper over the counter into his ear: don’t you give me that look because, hey, one day you could get it too. Then I remember why he’s so afraid. After twenty years it’s still jarring to overhear conversations where folks throw around words like “clean” and “disease-free” as if they know what they’re talking about. I leave educational pamphlets by my salon’s front door. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than nothing. Ignorance and fear are too easily contagious in small towns like mine. You see, I just don’t cut hair. When I listen to my clients, I don’t judge. Whatever I whisper, I always fight for love. Always. Raymond Luczak is the author and editor of nineteen books. His latest title, The Kinda Fella I Am: Stories, comes out in November 2017. He lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and online at raymondluczak.com.

drama

last year. Did you think about that?

by Charles Stephens

The War Years A Ten-Minute Play

PARIS Willard: Black gay man. Around 27 years old. JERICHO Hampton: Black gay man. Around 25 years old. SETTING: Atlanta. 1988. Paris’ Living Room.

PARIS: No Jericho, I actually forgot all about it. It’s the darndest thing. I woke up one day and I forgot I went to jail. Whew boy. I forgot being in the back of that police car. I forgot my wrists being sore from the handcuffs being so tight. I forgot the mugshot. JERICHO: I’m just saying Paris. When you go up before that judge again, mommy and daddy may not be so willing to bail your ass out. PARIS: Anyway, did you reach out to the media contacts I gave you? JERICHO: Media contacts?

Scene opens as two African-American men in their 20s are seated on a couch PARIS: Will you stop tapping your leg? I can barely hear myself think.

PARIS: The list. The list I gave you last week. Did you call them? JERICHO: Oh yeah. The list. Shit! PARIS: Jesus help me Lord.

JERICHO: I’m not tapping my leg. JERICHO: Well. I misplaced the list. PARIS: Yes you are. Now repeat back to me what I just told you. JERICHO: (robotically) You storm the stage. I block the ushers. The rest will chant and hold up the signs. PARIS: Wrong! The group will chant. Then I storm the stage. Then you block the ushers. Got it? JERICHO: You’re talking too fast. Give it to me slower. PARIS: (to himself) And this the bitch with the college degree. Give me strength.

PARIS: Misplaced? Jericho, what is going on with you? You’ve always been kind of flighty, but Jesus. JERICHO: Can we just, can we just slow down a bit? This is going too fast. PARIS: I am so glad David ain’t here to listen to you carry on like this. Now, let me see if I can find my address book. Maybe I can still get somebody to cover this thing. I done sucked enough dicks in that newsroom. JERICHO: Paris. PARIS: What Jericho? What now?

JERICHO: I don’t know. David got some pretty big brothers. I can block the ushers, but if the brothers jump in, I don’t know if I will be able to block them. PARIS: Figure it out Jericho. You always bragging about being a former high school athlete. Oh my God, this migraine. JERICHO: And you know what else?

JERICHO: How you holding up? PARIS: (sighs, pauses) Well, I started back smoking again. JERICHO: Give me a cigarette. PARIS: No! Both of us shouldn’t die of lung cancer. Not to mention you lost my media contact list.

PARIS: What Jericho? JERICHO: What if they call the cops? PARIS: Then they call the cops. JERICHO: You got that charge from

JERICHO: My parents don’t even treat me this way. PARIS: You done? We need to beat the crowd there. Let me start looking for my keys. I swear to God I need to start

tying my keys to my wrist like some latch key kid. Can’t never find them bastards. Can’t find my keys, can’t find my address book. Go ahead and make one of your wisecracks, about me being a disorganized community organizer. Go ahead. JERICHO: Paris. PARIS: What Jericho? You know, it’s your fault I got this migraine. I would rather have a threesome with Maggie Thatcher and Ronald Reagan than plan an action with you again. JERICHO: Maybe we haven’t thought this all the way through. PARIS: Excuse me? JERICHO: Look, I know you live for the high drama of these sorts of things. PARIS: It’s happening. With or without you. But since you decided to wait until the last minute to start this shit, I may just knock you out, staple a picket sign to your arm, and drag your black ass to the funeral and leave you on the front steps. JERICHO: I was with him until he kissed death. You know that? Held his hand as he faded away. Could have used your company though. Don’t know if I ever saw you around. PARIS: Bitch, you want a parade? JERICHO: All right. All right, fine. But before you storm the gates tomorrow, there is one more thing you should know. And I don’t, I don’t quite know how to say it. PARIS: Ok, let’s hear it. My head already splitting a part. Maybe this will put me out my misery. JERICHO: On the night before David A&U • AUGUST 2017

passed away, I went to see him at the hospital. When I leaned over to kiss him on his forehead, he grabbed my hand and pulled me in. Then he said to me, he said to me, in a whisper, that he accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. That he repented. And he had been forgiven. He then begged me to do the same. To repent before it’s too late. PARIS: Now why you have to go and tell a lie like that?

PARIS: Don’t do it Jericho. Don’t you dare do it. JERICHO: I’m just saying. PARIS: Remember your volunteer interview? Talking about “I haven’t told my family yet.” Normally I don’t hire closet cases. But we was so desperate. So I took a chance. I could feel it. You didn’t have it. JERICHO: Excuse me?

JERICHO: You never listened to him Paris. Or anyone else for that matter. So he would have never shared that part of himself with you. PARIS: He told me his daddy beat him for hitting a cartwheel when he was 6. He told me he had sex for the first time when he was 13 with a man in his 30s. He told me he wished he could have been a father. He told me his favorite color was Tiffany blue. He told me that when he saw The Exorcist the first time he wet his pants, mind you he was 19. Hell, he even told me about the time the two of you tried to play love birds. Bet you didn’t know I knew that, huh? I know that man’s secrets better than I know my own. JERICHO: Where were you then? PARIS: I visited him, Jericho. JERICHO: When? When did you visit? I was there all the time and I never saw you. And on top of that, he wanted you there. He sent for you. Paris, he sent for you and you never came. PARIS: All right. Maybe not the most recent time. But I went before. JERICHO: Before ain’t now. PARIS: He knew my work. He knew our work. We all make sacrifices for the greater good. JERICHO: Too busy to visit him at Grady. Too busy to hold his hand while he faced death. But now you have time, now you have time to show up at his funeral and insult his family. PARIS: Fine. Judge me. I don’t care. But you can be sure of one thing, I won’t let them deny who David was. Where are my goddamn keys! JERICHO: But can you be a friend when the camera’s not rolling? AUGUST 2017 • A&U

PARIS: And then when they made the Minority Outreach Position full-time, my position, they hired you over me and wanted me to work for you. When you went for that shit, I was like “see, not only is he not ready, he can’t be trusted.” JERICHO: The job required a degree. And since you want to do this with me, let’s talk about the countless times Donna dragged me into her office. You told that lady I didn’t know how to manage people. She would be all crying, talking about “you guys are both my friends. I don’t know why you two just can’t work it out. People are dying.” PARIS: Fuck her crying. I bathe in white tears! Oh but my resignation letter, it was glorious!

legislation to quarantine us. And when Ramon was murdered by trade, I was the one that went down to the station everyday demanding that APD get off they ass and take this seriously. I battle honey, don’t you worry, I just pick them carefully. PARIS: You seen this? (pulls out obituary) Not a single word on here about who David really was. Just a bunch of lies. So pick this one. Tick tock Miss Jericho. Tick tock. JERICHO: It’s not the words, or them not saying the words. Its what’s behind the words that’s most important. PARIS: I’ve gone to what, 20 or 30 funerals over the last two years, and they never say the words. Never. JERICHO: They could say the word gay or AIDS 500 times at the funeral and it won’t bring David back. Look Paris, do whatever you must. But trust, David would not want this. PARIS: Don’t worry baby. I will. You can count on that. JERICHO: Fuck, Paris. David’s family doesn’t have to erase that part of him. He did it for them. PARIS: Or so you claim.

JERICHO: At least now you can do your activism full-time which is what you wanted to do anyway.

JERICHO: You wave that obituary around, but I know what David whispered in my ear.

PARIS: They hired you over me. All because they know you won’t go on cameras talking about “death to whitey and death to the breeders,” like me. Admit it!

PARIS: Whatever David may or may not have told you, in less than an hour we go to war. I’m going to grab the mic, and I’m going to say, David James Miller was a proud black gay man. And he was a leader and a warrior and a poet. He was a revolutionary. He was a hero to us all. You mourn him and yet you have his blood on your hands. You’re monsters, every single one of you.

JERICHO: What I will admit, is that I don’t think we should go through with this action. PARIS: Don’t worry pumpkin. I got some shades and a big hat you can wear. Or maybe my afro wig. You wanna wear my afro wig darling? I know you don’t want Donna to see you on channel 2 disrupting a funeral service with the other crazy black homosexuals. Cause you know, you a good homosexual. Not like the rest of us crazies. JERICHO: I was the one that shut down Sale Hall at Morehouse two years ago because that student got beat on campus and they didn’t do shit. And I was the one that threw that pie in Bill McKinney’s face cause he thought it might be good

JERICHO: When he was on his death bed, begging Jesus to forgive him, where were you Paris? PARIS: I was fighting Jericho. That’s where I was. JERICHO: When David called out to you, had you answered, maybe he wouldn’t have had to call Jesus. I see a little blood on your hands too baby. PARIS: Why do you assume I didn’t know about David?

JERICHO: What? PARIS: What makes you think I didn’t know that David changed? JERICHO: Cause you just said it was a lie. PARIS: He told me once. That he wished he didn’t have to be gay anymore. I tried to make myself forget it but he did tell me that once. JERICHO: What did you say? PARIS: I told him I understood. But inside I was seething with anger. JERICHO: How could you be angry with him about something like that? PARIS: I’m tired of us falling apart. I’m tired of seeing us unravel. JERICHO: You of all people should know what it means to be who we are. PARIS: We don’t all fall apart, Jericho. JERICHO: Not all of us. Of course not. PARIS: I’m tired of being strong. Why don’t I get to fall apart? Why can’t I come undone? JERICHO: You chose this path Paris. PARIS: Did I? It doesn’t always feel like it. JERICHO: Or maybe history chose you. PARIS: Maybe some of us have to remain intact to clean up after those that don’t. JERICHO: I love you Paris. PARIS: And you know what else? I miss beauty in my life. JERICHO: I know you do. PARIS: And I miss simplicity and lightness. It’s too heavy. JERICHO: I can carry you part of the way. On my shoulders I can carry you. Let me. PARIS: No. I may need it too much. If I let you carry me I may depend on you. I can’t depend on you. I can’t need you. And we both know there is a cost.

JERICHO: I owe everything to you. There is no cost. PARIS: I’m going to the funeral. JERICHO: I know. PARIS: I will bring gasoline and matches and burn that fucking church down before I let them erase my friend. JERICHO: We on the same side Paris. I am not your enemy. PARIS: By erasing him, they erase all of us. They erase me. Don’t let them. Don’t let them erase me Jericho. Please. Don’t let them. JERICHO: I won’t Paris. I won’t let them erase you. I will never let them do that to you. PARIS: And don’t let them make me repent. Don’t let them make me change. Don’t let them make me hate myself. Promise me Jericho. Please. Promise me. I don’t want them to do that to me. JERICHO: Shhhhh Paris. Shhhh. (embracing PARIS) I got you, boy. I got you. Charles Stephens is a writer and activist. He is the founder and executive director of the Counter Narrative Project, co-editor of the anthology Black Gay Genius: Answering Joseph Beam’s Call, and columnist for The Advocate. Charles is a 2015 Rockwood Leadership Institute Fellow for Racial and Gender Justice Leaders in the HIV/AIDS Movement and a 2015 Arcus Leadership Fellow. He has also been a fellow at the CDC Institute for HIV Prevention Leadership and the Black AIDS Institute Community Mobilization College. His writings have appeared in the The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Creative Loafing, Lambda Literary Review, The Gay and Lesbian Review, RH Reality Check, HIV Plus, and the Georgia Voice.

non-fiction by John Boucher

We Blessed The following story is true. The names have been changed and composite characters created in order to protect the innocent, and the guilty. She kept ketchup packets in her Don King hair. Dark red Heinz ketchup packets slid amongst the kinks and dandruff, as well as those small packets of salt and pepper. She was hording them, she didn’t want to run out and was afraid to eat her meals without them, so into her Afro they went. It wasn’t really an Afro, or any sort of hair-do at all. In fact, her hair was the result, the conclusion, of what happens A&U • AUGUST 2017

when a fifty-five-year-old black woman doesn’t do anything with her hair, except use it as a place to store condiments. Betty told me she wouldn’t let the hospice nurses wash her hair: “Because they make me look like a fool.” It was the spring of 1996 and I’d been working at the hospice a year. This was the first time we’d had more than one female resident. Now we had six (five by birth), all African American, ages thirty to fifty-five. I was able to arrange an outing on Betty’s direction to LaMel’s College Palais de Beauté in Leimert Park, Los Angeles. Six women, dying of AIDS, getting a press & curl, in the purple Palais de Beauté. I dropped them off at one-thirty, just after lunch, and phoned around four. They were almost done. I drove the bronze and baby-shit brown Dodge Ram van (donated by some church, to AIDS Healthcare Foundation) to the Palais de Beauté and spoke to Miss LaMel Lamont herself. I could tell something was wrong as I was parking. A very angry black woman in a lilac smock, gold sandals and matching sunglasses was standing in the sun smoking Kool’s. Her queensized strawberry-gold Patti LaBelle coif glistened in the sunlight. She tapped her tiny lamé foot, took the last drag of her Kool and squished it under her toe. As I closed the van’s door, I wore the expression of benign, white-boy idiocy that usually worked in these situations. But as I approached her side of Leimert Boulevard and the doors of the Palais de Beauté (with its double reversed initial ‘L’s emblazoned in gold on lilac door handles) I could tell LaMel wasn’t buying it. “Where these women from?” Her face was fearful and mean. “I thought you from some church or somethin’—go round pickin’ up homeless women, have their hair done.” She turned and pointed through the large plate glass window and into the Palais de Beauté. “This one—the tall one—that ain’t no real woman. She told me where they from. From some AIDS place.” She glanced back at me; I could see flecks of her iris through the bronze tint of her shades. But my dumb whiteboy demeanor would not be cracked. I smiled, broad and fake.

“I really can’t comment on their medical condition,” I said. “They’re from Carl Bean House; I’m the Activities Coordinator there. They wanted to get their hair done and Betty—the one who, um… likes ketchup…” Miss LaMel interrupted. “I know who she is.” “Well, she recommended you. She said she’s been coming here for years, for her press & curl.” I kept smiling, but was beginning to sweat. “I checked around. You really do have the best prices in town!” I thought ending with praise might do the trick. “How much do I owe you?” Silence. I removed my wallet and quickly calculated eighty bucks. I didn’t want to get change out of her. Miss LaMel pointed a lilac claw at me. Each index finger was emblazoned with a gold chevron and a big ‘L’ (the same font and colors as her door handles.) Her nail jabbed the air, and at me. I smiled back a grin that said: fuck you too lady. Miss LaMel’s voice was now a whisper growl. “The one with the good hair? She got some sores on her head—said they ’erpes or some shit. How the fuck you get ’erpes on your head? She stick her head up some guys ass or somethin’?” I smiled, and waved to my girls inside. Betty led the troupe out of the purple, and into the sunshine. Her Don King had been transformed into a Marlo Thomas, a jet-black flip, with lots of body and side-swept bangs. She looked just like my plump and kind Aunt Patty, circa 1968. Betty was bright and chipper, and led the troupe back to the bronze and baby-shit van. “Hi, Mr. John. My hair look great.” “Yes, very nice,” I replied. “Did everything go OK?” Betty answered for the group, “Oh yes, Honey, we blessed.” “OK, you guys get in the van. I have to pay Miss LaMel.” “Now don’t you be cheap, Mr. John. Her girls work hard.” “All right,” I said. My girls were in the van, the door closed, and my back to them. I faced

“I could tell something was wrong as I was parking.”

AUGUST 2017 • A&U

LaMel, the eighty dollars in my fist. My frozen smile replaced by the flat, hard, look of truth. “Here’s eighty bucks. Six press & curl at eleven apiece is sixty-six. There’s a twenty percent tip too,” I paused and emphasized the next word, “which––is for your girls, not you.” My voice rose but was firm. “And I need a receipt.” “I ain’t givin’ you no damn receipt.” “No receipt, no money.” My eyes steel and straight. “What? Some white-ass punk gonna tell me what I do? I got six angry hair-burners in there, all of ’em screaming at me that they got AIDS, from a press & curl!” I glanced through the window; a circle of six angry women stared back. Miss LaMel pointed at the ringleader and said: “Sandra say she gonna sue me for makin’ her do they hair.” “Do you want the cash? Or would you rather send a bill?” I removed my business card and handed it to her. She snatched it. And tried to snatch the eighty bucks too. My fist swallowed the twenties, my fake smile returned, my brows raised. LaMel pursed her lips, muttered “cracker” under her breath, entered the purple Palais de Beauté and returned with a crumpled receipt. She threw it at me. I paid the bitch. As I drove my girls back to the hospice, I said tentatively: “Well I’m glad that went OK, now we can go home. “Don’t you say that, Mr. John––that ain’t nobody’s home. That the last house on the block.” I looked at Betty in the rearview mirror. She was right. Her dark eyes caught mine and twinkled. “Don’t you worry, Mr. John, our hair look great. We blessed.” John Boucher started writing in HIV+ writing workshops sponsored by AHF, APLA, and the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center. He was a 2009 PEN Center USA Emerging Voice Fellow, and was the recipient of a 2010 UCLA Community Access Scholarship, where he began working on Dichondra, his collection of humorously dark nonfiction stories. John was a 2011 Lambda Literary Foundation Fellow and is a recipient of a 2016 City of West Hollywood & PEN Center USA, WeHo Writing Craft Scholarship. His first published piece, “Speaking in Tongues,” appeared in Washburn University’s inscape literary journal, winning the 2009 Best Nonfiction award. It was republished by PEN Center USA in Strange Cargo: An Emerging Voices Anthology. John attended Corcoran College of Art and Design and earned his MFA from Claremont Graduate University. Born in 1962 and raised in Los Angeles, John lives in West Hollywood.

The Sound of Silence

Larry Buhl hiv/aids advocates sound the alarm

about a mute white house

Scott Schoettes: My concerns started when [then-candidate] Trump refused to meet with HIV advocates. Something was scheduled and cancelled and the campaign did not reschedule. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders’ campaigns met with those advocates. From there, the Office of National AIDS policy website came down on Inauguration Day. At first we thought they were going to add their own imprimatur on it and put it up, but to date it hasn’t come up and it’s almost six

months. And Trump hasn’t appointed anyone to be a director of that office. That person is an important conduit from the council to the White House. It has a seat on the domestic policy council. By contrast, Obama had appointed someone to this post a little over a month into his administration. But the trigger for the resignation was the support for Trumpcare, or whatever it’s being called now. Trump-not-care, the repeal of Obamacare. When it passed in the House it became clear that Trump was not engaged on the policy side; it was all about making a deal and scoring a political win. That celebration they had after the House passed it made me wonder, what exactly are we really celebrating now? Larry Buhl: Playing devil’s advocate, it’s not clear that Trump has understanding of policy in many areas. I don’t think it should require him showing antipathy toward people with HIV to call him out. This is one of his responsibilities. He doesn’t care. He’s not thinking about it.

There are several strategies. There are still fifteen people left on council, all good people I respect, and they will move forward with the work. There is an effort underway to influence the discussion on the Republican side. That is what I’ve been advocating for, some moderate Republicans to meet with us, and with other HIV advocates. If we’re not going to get our message to the administration, then we can take it to some in Congress. It’s been hard to get in the door so far.

So the resignations were a protest. We resigned to force this conversation. Nobody was going to listen to us while we were sitting there trying to get the ear of an administration that didn’t care. Now the administration has had to start paying attention a bit. The people who remain may have their recommendations considered more fully. On National HIV Testing Day in June, there was a statement. I can guarantee there was no statement in the works before our resignations. That’s better than nothing. I hope part of this will be that they will pay more attention to the people on the council.

The fight continues One organization that still has a foot in the door is AIDS United. I spoke with Bill McColl, its director of health policy, who, since he wanted to keep that door open, was rather diplomatic when I asked him about his level of alarm at the actions (or non-actions) of the Trump administration. He told me he was at least encouraged that there were still knowledgeable officials—not political appointees—at the highest level in the administration. But he was concerned about possible missed opportunities. “Now that the U.S. has an opportunity to turn the corner on the HIV epidemic, with new technology to prevent infections, I’m concerned about the administration’s lack of focus [on HIV/AIDS].”

What’s next for HIV/AIDS advocates?

Larry Buhl writes the Hep Talk column for A&U. A&U • AUGUST 2017

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

n June, six members of the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/ AIDS (PACHA) resigned en masse. In a joint article published in Newsweek, they said they could not effectively do their jobs under a president “who simply does not care.” Those resignations spurred Reps. Barbara Lee (D-Calif.) and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.), the co-chairs of the Congressional HIV/AIDS Caucus, to deliver a letter to the White House, demanding that Trump drop the proposed budget cuts to HIV/ AIDS programs, restore the website it scrubbed in January, and appoint a national AIDS policy director. PACHA was created under President Clinton in the mid-1990s and since then has had twenty-five seats, not always filled, consisting of researchers, service healthcare providers, academics, HIV advocates, people living with HIV. Its mandate is to produce recommendations for each administration on what federal government should be doing to fight the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Over time it has expanded its mission, including policy proposals on comorbidities like HIV and hepatitis, and, under Obama, created four subcommittees, each aligned with parts of the National HIVAIDS Strategy. I spoke with Scott Schoettes, who was co-chair of PACHA’s disparities committee before resigning from PACHA with the other five. He is the HIV project director at Lambda Legal. I asked him what drove him to pull out of PACHA.

2017 BLACK&BLUE

- SPECIAL EDITION MTL 375 -

OCTOBER 5 - 9 2017 MAIN EVENT

OCTOBER 8TH (ALL NIGHT LONG)

BBCM.ORG

Gaining Momentum

Jeannie Wraight & hiv vaccine candidates seek to make David Miller good on their early promise

(Ad4) vectors in both of their HIV vaccine candidates. One of the main differences between the PaxVax platform and other HIV vaccine candidates is that the AD4 vector used is given in pill form versus intramuscularly. This allows for the vaccine to affect the gut, creating a systemic and possibly a mucosal response. Used in pill form, AD4 vectors have been shown to be safe and have been utilized for decades by the U.S. military to inoculate our soldiers against acute respiratory disease caused by adenoviruses. Researchers at PaxVax are also considering employing an internasal delivery system, which would allow for a greater mucosal uptake. The researchers at PaxVax are utilizing the growing knowledge of vaccine development in order to increase the probability of obtaining the best response and protection against HIV. These vaccines contain a number of gene inserts which incorporate particular fragments of HIV. PaxVax is focused on generating second generation gene inserts as well as second generation vectors. They’re currently refining their previous vaccines with different inserts

to potentially induce a broader antibody response. They believe this approach, together with an improved and more robust AD4 vector, may induce a better antibody response, which may result in neutralizing the HIV virus. PaxVax researchers had previously deleted several of the non-essential genes in the E3 region of the adenovirus vector. According to Dr. Alexander, “We think we may have over-attenuated the virus because it became highly susceptible to the body’s innate response. Now the trick is to put them back in a way that doesn’t inhibit the transgene.” (A transgene is a segment of DNA containing a gene sequence that has been isolated from one organism and is introduced into a different organism.) “We’re now looking at maintaining as many of our E3 genes as possible and still get stable and robust expression of our HIV envelope genes.” Although much has been learned from previous studies, such as the RV144 and STEP trials, vaccine researchers are still striving to determine the best means of continued on page 54 A&U • AUGUST 2017

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

ver the past several years, momentum for the development of an effective HIV vaccine has increased to unprecedented proportions. At present, there’s no small number of approaches to the development of an HIV vaccine both by academic institutions and biotech companies, with IAVI reporting thirty-nine ongoing clinical trials. Add this to the number of preclinical candidates and you have reason for a lot of hope for seeing an end to new HIV infections. One such vaccine platform is being studied by PaxVax, a company with ongoing vaccine research in several infectious diseases in addition to HIV, including chikungunya, hepatitis A, Zika, and adenovirus. Dr. Jonathan Smith, Executive Vice President and Chief Scientific Officer, and Dr. Jeff Alexander, Vice President of Translational R&D, provided an overview on PaxVax’s current HIV vaccine program and how development is continually evolving with our growing knowledge base of immune responses. PaxVax has received over $10 million in grants from the NIH and NIAID’s Division of Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (DAIDS) for the development of their vaccine platform. This platform consists of two replication-competent adenovirus serotype 4 (Ad4) vector HIV vaccines that are used in conjunction with each other. The first vaccine component (Ad4-env Clade C) expresses an optimized HIV envelope protein derived from a clade C HIV strain. This vaccine is designed primarily to induce an effective antibody response. The second vaccine component (Ad4-mGag) is intended to induce broadly reactive T-cell responses. Both responses are essential for an efficacious vaccine. PaxVax utilized live Adenovirus Types 4

E R U T CUL S THE

AID OF

BOOKS

Crying for Our Elders: African Orphanhood in the Age of HIV and AIDS by Kristen E. Cheney University of Chicago Press

ilence is not always golden, as Kristen E. Cheney learned in her fieldwork with young Ugandans orphaned by AIDS. Much of their suffering is, she writes in Crying for Our Elders: African Orphanhood in the Age of HIV and AIDS, “exacerbated by people’s silence about such suffering. Many adults discourage open dialogue with children over the reasons for—and sometimes even the fact of—their parents’ deaths, thinking that it protects the children from trauma.” However, “[t]he persistent silence surrounding HIV/AIDS can compound the children’s suffering.” These are children who have, as she points out, never known a world without AIDS. It’s a fact of life—so much so that grade-school children sing a song about it. That song, which inspired the title of Cheney’s book, is stark and despairing: “AIDS, AIDS has killed so many people…/ Oh, no shouting, no advice:/Where shall we go?” The children that Cheney meets show “exceptional resilience and agency in the fight for survival in the era of AIDS orphanhood.” But so many are modern-day Dickensian waifs and have experienced things that no child should have to experience. Belinda, a kindergartener, lives with her great-aunt and draws “her parents and siblings in her picture not because she lived with them but because she wished she did: her parents lived elsewhere while dealing with effects of HIV/AIDS, and her twin older siblings were staying with their maternal grandmother.” Belinda eventually loses both parents. But AUGUST 2017 • A&U

no family member ever talks with her about these losses, and she grieves over not having had the chance to say good-bye to her father. Diana, another six-year-old, has lost her father to AIDS: she ends up living with her father’s stepbrother, who has no affection for her. He leaves Diana at “home with the maids to cook for the workers in [his] factory”; her cousins tease her mercilessly, and her only friend is the family dog. Crying for Our Elders is a scholarly book, and the research is impeccable. But it only truly comes to life when Cheney writes about the Belindas and the Dianas. Their individual stories touch us on a visceral level and bring this particular war home to us. —T.J. Banks

culture than one’s own, and his search for someone to spend his life with. The book centers around two extended stays in Japan, where he researches attitudes and traditions dealing with the disabled. Before the first trip, his relationship of eighteen years is at its end, during his return to the U.S. He is diagnosed with HIV shortly before leaving for a second stay on a prestigious Fulbright Scholarship to complete his research. On this second trip he begins his regime of HIV medication and meets the man he will eventually marry. He quickly realizes that, while at home he is an outsider due to his disability, in Japan he is an outsider because of being a foreigner as are the other expatriates he befriends. It is not only a relief, but puts him in a unique position to observe. Fries documents and offers compelling insight into Japanese culture and thinking but realizes one important thing. Sometimes, the Japanese just think differently without an explanation that makes sense to an American.

In the Province of the Gods by Kenny Fries University of Wisconsin Press

he AIDS Memoir” is an important document in our history. In the Province of the Gods isn’t your typical AIDS memoir, however. Although its author remembers and pays tribute to the many friends he lost in the worst years of the plague, this piece deals with a more contemporary recollection of his own diagnosis as HIV-positive. No one actually dies, but the author does come to terms with his own mortality and with the ramifications of having to take the HIV medications that now extend our lifespan. He does this from a unique perspective, with singular personal insight and an ironic sense of humor. It’s also a book about living with a life-long disability, living in a unique and vastly different

Regardless, he illustrates the traditions and the mindset of a unique culture, beautifully providing much insight. This is where Fries’ talent as a writer is most apparent. Perhaps from a lifetime spent on the outside looking in, he shines in his understanding of and his perspective on the human condition. —John Francis Leonard T.J. Banks is the author of Sketch People, A Time for Shadows, Catsong, Houdini, and other books. Catsong was the winner of the 2007 Merial Human-Animal Bond Award. John Francis Leonard writes the Bright Lights, Small City column for A&U.

We don’t feel the same way about cancer the way we did years ago.” What is unique about the AIDS story told in The Pox Lover: An Activist’s Decade in New York and Paris is that it proves, yet again, that HIV does not exist in a vacuum. The AIDS crisis is intertwined with other crises, for example, during the nineties, the attacks by the Religious Right in the U.S. and Le Pen in France. Also, AIDS reporting has influenced the author’s, as well as other journalists’, reporting on other crises. “I think that often people look at people who do AIDS or LGBT reporting or on women’s health issues and see this reporting in a very narrow way, and don’t recognize that covering AIDS is covering a global pandemic,” d’Adesky says. Only recently, when writing the epilogue for The Pox Lover, could d’Adesky finally allow herself the time to look back at that reporting, and that fight, and count the victories. “It was impressive to see the victories,” she says, “not only [those related to] AIDS, but all these cases of justice that only in the last few years are resurfacing, finally exposed.” She adds, “With a certain passage of time there’s an arc of justice.” In The Pox Lover d’Adesky writes about the arc of justice. “The nineties taught us that most important lesson. The arc of justice is infinite. It may not bend as quickly or exactly in the place we wish, but if we act to help it along, it will do so faster. And we’ll feel much better, too. I can vouch for that.” Commenting on the importance of telling the story of the pandemic, d’Adesky explains that people from different generations might have different HIV stories to tell, stories that capture the pandemic of their time. The

author’s own story of the AIDS crisis would be a slightly different one, if told today based only on her recollections and not on the diaries she kept during the nineties. If she were to have the chance to go back in time and record her account of the AIDS crisis all over again, she would change many things, she explains. “I would write every day,” d’Adesky elaborates, “because there’s so much happening. I think I would try to engage more marginalized communities, for example Haiti.” Reading The Pox Lover, listening to the author talk about AIDS in connection with other crises, I wonder if these crises can teach us, today’s and future generations, anything. Are there lessons learned? “I do feel that we learn from history,” d’Adesky answers. “Definitely.” In the epilogue she talks about Zika, Ebola, and other viruses, and our initial response to their threat. Or, as she describes it, “the first response is a kind of shut down, close the borders, seek control, cast out. This is a very human response to have, to fear. But we have to understand, to understand that a sexual epidemic is going to be socially and emotionally confronted. And so, I think that histories repeat themselves. That histories are learned.” She pauses, as if to let her thought sink in. Then she laughs, “You probably see that I’m an optimist. That’s because I have been encouraged to be an optimist. For me one very simple lesson learned in the nineties, and I share it with people right now, is that every problem contains its solution.” She further explains, “We need to define the problem, to define the resources and their own limits in terms of how to deal with that problem. And then we have our strategy.

To learn more about Anne-christine d’Adesky, follow her on Facebook or visit her online at thepoxlover.com. Alina Oswald is Arts Editor of A&U. A&U • AUGUST 2017

lounge photo by Dona Ann McAdams; portrait by Bill Bytsura/AIDS Activist Project

continued from page 39

Anne-christine d’Adesky

Left to right: Lesbian Love Lounge, 1990s; Berlin AIDS Conference, 1993

“Certainly we’re in a new decade of AIDS. We need to look back at the lessons of the nineties in terms of how we should be fighting [today’s epidemic]. I think right now the issues of the epidemic in the U.S. force us to confront class issues, racial, and educational issues. We have a not very well documented epidemic that’s associated with the opioid epidemic. We don’t see or hear too much about it. [They don’t have the necessary tools] to protect themselves. I think that we need to be having conversations about those issues right now, and we need to be naming [these issues] and to mobilize around them. Especially with [this] administration.” During the nineties, in order to stay alive, those on the frontline of the AIDS crisis had to create safety nets. “We tried to save ourselves,” d’Adesky explains. “And I say we, in the grand we—LGBT, HIV/AIDS, Haitian [and] other communities where the stigma was high and there was no money coming in. Communities had to move money from state to local budgets, when they weren’t going to get it from the public health system. We are in that moment now with Obamacare being dismantled.” D’Adesky further explains that, in order for today’s communities to survive today’s crises, whatever these crises might be, they have to look within and find members who have the knowledge and experience of building these kinds of safety nets. “They know what they did, they know what worked,” she says. “We need to be making those people now tell us how to do it. In other words, learn from the experience and education we have in our communities. Because we have it. Those are the conversations that we should be making happen now.” And the simplest way to start these conversations is to have town halls, and talk to town and municipal leaders. “Again, if you go back to that very simple formula,” d’Adesky reemphasizes, “in the problem lies the solution. Look at the problem. Take it apart. See what the hurdle is and [find] your way back. And that’s how you build your safety net.”

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Second Acts continued from page 41

Mark Olmsted

they’re clean—is going to keep the AIDS monster away. Makes no sense to this veteran of the AIDS war. It’s like someone saying about a minefield resulting from a real war: I’m only going to step on ground that looks clean and bomb-free. Somebody neglected to educate the survivors and subsequent generations of the post-AIDS panic and we are all paying the price. Twenty-three-year-old gay kids are still becoming infected and facing stigma. HIV-infection rates in the black and brown communities are disproportionately high, but there’s zero media coverage because seemingly, the only black lives that matter are the ones being snuffed out on viral videos. Long-term AIDS survivors feel alienated from a community that calls itself clean and disease free, which can only mean one thing: I am dirty and disease-ridden. Didn’t see that one coming when I allowed myself even the briefest glimpse of surviving beyond the 1990s. Another downside that blindsided me: I didn’t anticipate surviving, only to realize that many of the people in my life left me for dead. After discovering my HIV-positive status in 1985, I made it medically official by getunderstanding of HIV among the inmate population isn’t as sophisticated as with, say, A&U readers, Olmsted quips. Olmsted didn’t exert too much effort in hiding his orientation in prison. It was quietly acknowledged that he was “different.” He was middle-aged, urbane, and used SAT-type words liberally. You know, gay. “[Inmates] respect honesty, even though it’s not safe to be out there,” Olmsted said. But being gay is safer when you’re protected by a fast talking Romanian hit man named Thumper. In Ink from the Pen, Olmsted recounts his uneasy, but ultimately life-saving, relationship with the “cute but scary” Romanian. “Thumper thought I needed protecting and anyone watching would have thought he had a crush on me, but he was totally straight. In fact he didn’t know I was gay, or at least it wasn’t articulated.” Thumper, who once promised to take Olmsted to Argentina for reasons he never quite understood, was later revealed to be as scary as Olmsted first thought. “I Googled Thumper recently and learned he murdered an older gay man in Palm Springs two years ago and he’s doing life now.” AUGUST 2017 • A&U

ting tested in 1988. By 1990, my health was failing. My T-cell count, the all-important determiner of the day, was taking a steady dive. Science fact said I better start making arrangements, and so I did. That included leaving my stressful job and informing my coworkers (to get out in front of the developing story). Then, of course, you don’t suddenly leave your job without telling your friends and acquaintances the reason, and why not? You’re about to wither away and die. You’re gonna need some help doing so. Unless science fiction becomes science fact. But a funny, unexpected thing happened on the way. Those (mostly heterosexual) friends and coworkers who promised to be there for me in my dire time of need— friends who offered money, if needed, a room in their house, if needed….Most of them simply faded away from my life, seemingly when I didn’t die soon enough. Is he still around? One reportedly asked circa of the year 2000. If you actually cared about me, you’d already know. But I’m convinced. For many people, I was a gay man who was going to die of AIDS, and that’s just the way it was, if you had the misfortune of being a fag in the 1970s and ’80s.

Today, America’s conscience is elevated. Gays are the subject of a celebrated miniseries celebrating that struggle. Out and proud celebrities permeate practically every aspect of culture (except men’s major-league sports). But during the 1980s and ’90s AIDS panic, gays were still pariahs. To many, AIDS seemed like just desserts. Or at least fate. For a time, even gays had to wonder if the plague was a biblical response to gay liberation. Being gay, I was already worth less. Having AIDS, I became completely worthless, save for some who wanted to star in their own version of “helping my friend who’s Dying Young.” “I once knew a friend who had AIDS. What happened? I don’t know. I lost touch with him.” (And he probably died because that’s what gays with AIDS did.) Only sometimes they don’t. Because science fiction turns into science fact. A great thing. But not so great is the idea that most people still fear intimacy with you, and that others literally left you for dead. Randy Boyd’s four novels feature main characters living with HIV/AIDS and have been nominated for five Lambda Literary Awards. He blogs about living with HIV and more at RandyBoydsBlocks. com.

“With Jimmy looking after me, I didn’t have to worry about safety anymore. I could almost conduct research.” Ink from the Pen is populated with characters from three facilities. Olmsted told me it was important to humanize men who were very unlike him in temperament and background. In the decade-plus since he said goodbye to all that, Olmsted has become actually sympathetic to the plight of the incarcerated and has become involved in a prisoners’ rights organization. And no, Olmsted never had sex with any of the men behind bars. He knew you were wondering that. Olmsted doesn’t go so far as to say incarceration was a gift or a blessing. But he acknowledges it was essential in his climb back to sobriety and stability. And with the success of his first book he’s working on the next one. “Creativity, for me, has been a survival tool.” Olmsted also had help navigating the landmines of prison from Jimmy, the head of the Whites. That’s really what he was called: another thing Orange Is the New Black gets right is the strict racial self-segregation behind bars.

For more information about Mark Olmsted’s memoir, log on to: www.lavenderisthenewblack.com. Larry Buhl is a radio news reporter, screenwriter, and novelist living in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @LarryBuhl.

A Calendar of Events

Destination: Cure

continued from page 50

or the first time, National Faith HIV/AIDS Awareness Day will appear on our awareness calendars. The designated day is August 27 and the event, organized by RAHMA (a faithbased HIV/AIDS nonprofit) and its partners, will seek to highlight the importance of faith in the lives of many Americans, including those living with HIV/AIDS, and the power of faith communities to destigmatize the disease, raise awareness, and become more inclusive and safer spaces for those affected by the pandemic. “Together We Are Stronger!” is the rallying cry of the organizers, who hope that the day will soon achieve official recognition on the HIV.gov calendar. The day seeks to enjoin Muslim, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Sikh, Hindu, and Baha’i faith communities across the U.S. to show their support of the fight against AIDS. Organizers have enlisted thirteen Faith Ambassadors across fifteen cities hard-hit

stimulating an effective antibody response, which antibodies work best in neutralizing HIV, and what antigens could best facilitate immune control of HIV. In addition to the work at PaxVax, other HIV vaccines are making their way through the preclinical and clinical stages to ascertain their protective ability against HIV. These include vaccine candidates receiving funding from the NIH as well as foundations and private financial institutions. Bill and Melinda Gates have recently joined a team of other financiers supporting a company called Vir Biotechnology, which recently purchased an HIV vaccine that utilizes a cytomegalovirus vector to stimulate killer T cells. The vaccine candidate was designed at the OHSU’s Vaccine and Gene Therapy Institute in Beaverton, Oregon. The vaccine was shown in non- human primate studies to control SHIV in thirteen out of twenty-three rhesus macaques receiving either rhesus cytomegalovirus (RhCMV) vectors alone or RhCMV vectors followed by adenovirus 5 (Ad5) vectors. According

by HIV/AIDS, including New York City, Washington D.C./ Baltimore, Los Angeles, New Orleans, Houston, Atlanta, Miami, Baton Rouge, Memphis, Charlotte, Columbia, Jackson, Chicago, Detroit, and Philadelphia. With the help of a steering committee of leaders, the Ambassadors will work with religious leaders in their cities and help empower and encourage the local communities to actively participate. D.C. will host the main event, with organizers hoping to rally at Freedom Plaza, with faith leaders and activists as speakers, and offer testing and other resources throughout the day. A social media campaign, with shareable pictures and video, will allow online users to help raise awareness, as well. For more information about RAHMA, log on to: www.haverahma. org. For more information about the day itself, log on to: www. faithaidsday.com.

to Nature, during autopsy “cell-associated SIV was only occasionally measurable at the limit of detection even with ultrasensitive assays, observations that indicate the possibility of eventual viral clearance.” Through NIH grants, a vaccine com-

“Increased and continued support for the development of both preventive and therapeutic vaccines is essential to ending the thirty-five-plus-year battle against HIV.”

pany called Novavax is working in collaboration with the University of Alabama-Birmingham, Emory University, and Harvard Medical School to develop a pre-clinical, viral-like particle (VLP) HIV vaccine candidate. A VLP vaccine mimics the structure of HIV but doesn’t contain HIV viral genes. This vaccine is hoped to be active against a range of HIV strains and may produce a strong immune response by optimizing the expression of the HIV- 1 envelope. Increased and continued support for

the development of both preventive and therapeutic vaccines is essential to ending the thirty-five-plus-year battle against HIV. If just one of the vaccines currently being studied or envisioned by some of the best minds we can throw against this pandemic were to prove successful, the savings in lives, as well as dollars, would be astronomical. Costs of ART in low to middle-income countries hit $19 billion in 2015—despite having only reached half of the 36.7 million people living with HIV. This is a cost that is inevitably unsustainable and just like the lives HIV takes, will only continue to increase. Jeannie Wraight is the former editor-in-chief and co-founder of HIV and HCV Haven (www.hivhaven.com) and a blogger and writer for TheBody. com. She is a member of the Board of Directors of Health People, a community-based organization in the South Bronx and an advisor to TRW (Teach me to Read and Write), a community-based organization in Kampala, Uganda. She lives with her husband in New York City. David Miller is a long-term survivor and a veteran of ACT UP NY. He has been a member of the Bronx HIV CARE Network, the NYC HIV Planning Council Advisory Group and served on the Board of The AIDS Institute. He now lives in upstate New York, where he serves on the University of Rochester ACTG CAB. A&U • AUGUST 2017

AUGUST 2017 â&#x20AC;¢ A&U

Survival Guide

[a portrait by sean black]

“Telling stories in one form of art—puppetry, photography—or another has been a means of sensory restoration for me throughout my thirty-plus years of social and economic losses, grief, depression, isolation, and near-death experiences. Making art and working with the community puts me in the moment and, I hope, in some way conveys the exhilaration of coming up for air yet again when drowning seemed certain. My hope is to let people from all walks of life know that they are not alone.”

Michael Johnstone

A native of Scotland and now San Francisco-based, Michael Johnstone is co-creator with David Faulk of “VERASPHERE” [A&U, March 2017]. Together, their goal is to create and spread unmitigated JOY.

Sean Black is a Senior Editor of A&U. 56

A&U • AUGUST 2017

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The greatest distance I’ve come isn’t in miles.

Let’s Grow Old Together See what life with HIV looks like from diagnosis through grandkids with a little help from Walgreens. Explore Nancy’s HIV journey at Walgreens.com/LetsGrowOldTogether. ©2017 Walgreen Co. All rights reserved.

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