A&U December 2017

DECEMBER 2017 • ISSUE 278 • AMERICA’S AIDS MAGAZINE

Ledisi Let Love Rule

DANIEL SZYMCZYK

Strives to Support Collegiate Scholars Living with HIV

MATERNAL THINKING

Dedicated to HIV Care & Prevention, Ruth Coker Burks Revisits the Past & Allie Oakes Looks to the Future

*plus

• Heroes in the Struggle • Martin Wong • Guillermo Chacón • Leslie L. Smith • Cory Frederick

WHAT IS GENVOYA®?

GENVOYA is a 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years and older who weigh at least 77 pounds. It can either be used in people who are starting HIV-1 treatment and have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements. These include having an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL) for 6 months or more on their current HIV-1 treatment.

GENVOYA combines 4 medicines into 1 pill taken once a day with food. GENVOYA is a complete HIV-1 treatment and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

GENVOYA does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses, you must keep taking GENVOYA. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body fluids. Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body fluids on them.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

What is the most important information I should know about GENVOYA?

GENVOYA may cause serious side effects: • Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. GENVOYA is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking GENVOYA, your HBV may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking GENVOYA without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health.

Who should not take GENVOYA?

Do not take GENVOYA if you take: • Certain prescription medicines for other conditions.

It is important to ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with GENVOYA. Do not start a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider.

• The herbal supplement St. John’s wort.

• Any other medicines to treat HIV-1 infection.

What are the other possible side effects of GENVOYA?

Serious side effects of GENVOYA may also include: • Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking GENVOYA.

• Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking GENVOYA. • Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.

• Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.

The most common side effect of GENVOYA is nausea.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or don’t go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking GENVOYA?

• All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection.

• All the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Other medicines may affect how GENVOYA works. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

Ask your healthcare provider if it is safe to take GENVOYA with all of your other medicines.

• If you take antacids. Take antacids at least 2 hours before or after you take GENVOYA. • If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if GENVOYA can harm your unborn baby.

Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking GENVOYA. • If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see Important Facts about GENVOYA, including important warnings, on the following page.

Ask your healthcare provider if GENVOYA is right for you.

GENVOYA.com

GENVOYA does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

SHOW YOUR

POWER

Take care of what matters most—you. GENVOYA is a 1-pill, once-a-day complete HIV-1 treatment for people who are either new to treatment or people whose healthcare provider determines they can replace their current HIV-1 medicines with GENVOYA.

IMPORTANT FACTS This is only a brief summary of important information about GENVOYA® and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

( jen-VOY-uh) MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT GENVOYA

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF GENVOYA

GENVOYA may cause serious side effects, including:

GENVOYA can cause serious side effects, including:

•

Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. GENVOYA is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking GENVOYA. Do not stop taking GENVOYA without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months.

• • • •

ABOUT GENVOYA •

•

GENVOYA is a prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 77 pounds and have never taken HIV-1 medicines before. GENVOYA can also be used to replace current HIV-1 medicines for some people who have an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL of virus in their blood), and have been on the same HIV-1 medicines for at least 6 months and have never failed HIV-1 treatment, and whose healthcare provider determines that they meet certain other requirements.

GENVOYA does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others.

Do NOT take GENVOYA if you: • Take a medicine that contains: alfuzosin (Uroxatral®), carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Carnexiv®, Epitol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®, Tegretol-XR®, Teril®), cisapride (Propulsid®, Propulsid Quicksolv®), dihydroergotamine (D.H.E. 45®, Migranal®), ergotamine (Cafergot®, Migergot®, Ergostat®, Medihaler Ergotamine®, Wigraine®, Wigrettes®), lovastatin (Altoprev®, Mevacor®), lurasidone (Latuda®), methylergonovine (Methergine®), midazolam (when taken by mouth), phenobarbital (Luminal®), phenytoin (Dilantin®, Dilantin-125®, Phenytek®), pimozide (Orap®), rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater®, Rimactane®), sildenafil when used for lung problems (Revatio®), simvastatin (Vytorin®, Zocor®), or triazolam (Halcion®).

•

Take the herbal supplement St. John’s wort.

•

Take any other HIV-1 medicines at the same time.

GET MORE INFORMATION •

• •

This is only a brief summary of important information about GENVOYA. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.

Go to GENVOYA.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 If you need help paying for your medicine, visit GENVOYA.com for program information.

Those in the “Most Important Information About GENVOYA” section.

Changes in your immune system.

New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure.

Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.

Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death.

Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.

The most common side effect of GENVOYA is nausea.

These are not all the possible side effects of GENVOYA. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking GENVOYA. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with GENVOYA. •

BEFORE TAKING GENVOYA Tell your healthcare provider if you: • Have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.

• Have any other medical condition.

• Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.

• Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: • Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-thecounter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

• Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with GENVOYA.

HOW TO TAKE GENVOYA • •

GENVOYA is a complete one pill, once a day HIV-1 medicine.

Take GENVOYA with food.

GENVOYA, the GENVOYA Logo, LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE, SHOW YOUR POWER, GILEAD, and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Version date: September 2017 © 2017 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. GENC0176 11/17

“

We need to throw away the stigma and fear about HIV testing.

It’s time we make HIV testing a part of our health routine.

— Jay Ellis, Actor

”

I’M

DOING IT Testing for HIV

#DoingIt Testing is Fast, Free, and Confidential cdc.gov/DoingIt

c o n t e n t s December 2017

44 Cover Always One to Talk Truth in Her Music, R&B Star Ledisi Talks with Candace Y.A. Montague About Addressing AIDS in Black Communities with the Help of the Black AIDS Institute

Departments

Features 34 Gallery A New Exhibit of the Art of Martin Wong Explores Intersections of Identity, Desire & Community 10 Moonlight Shone Bright Alfre Woodard, Laverne Cox & More—This Year’s Heroes in the Struggle Honored Women 38 A Life Lived in the Fast Lane Cory Frederick Uses the Power of the Pen for HIV Advocacy 40 Mama Ruth Ruth Coker Burks Reflects on Caregiving During the Bleak Early Years of the Epidemic

6

Frontdesk

8

Digital Footprints

12

NewsBreak

18

Ruby’s Rap

viewfinder 20

Bright Lights, Small City

23

For the Long Run

27

Second Acts

29

Our Story, Our Time

32

Just*in Time

lifeguide 54

Under_Reported

50 A Strong League of People Daniel Szymczyk Created The HIV League to Give a Leg Up to Positive College Students

56

Access to Care

58

The Whole Perspective

60

The Culture of AIDS

62

Lifelines

30 Poetry

64

Survival Guide

cover photo by Juco

A&U Frontdesk

Speak Now

D

ecember 1 is officially World AIDS Day! Oh, if only this December 1 were the last day of HIV on the planet—wouldn’t that be nice? It’s unrealistic, obviously, but I’m going to send it out into the universe as a wish.

There will be a last day of HIV. If we don’t step to the mike and speak what will be true, how will anyone hear us?

This month’s exclusive interview with neo-soul singer Ledisi is known for never shying away from the truth in her songs. That’s why she makes a great AIDS advocate. Legendary singer, AIDS activist, and performer Sheryl Lee Ralph [A&U, August 2015] raves about one of her favorite additions to her annual Divas Simply Singing! concert: “For at least two of those concerts we have experienced the brilliance, the giving heart, the voice that is Ledisi.”

This latest AIDS diva, Ledisi, is also excited about being an ambassador for the prestigious Black AIDS Institute, whose most recent Heroes in the Struggle is profiled in this issue by A&U’s Senior Editor Sean Black. Ledisi is the perfect voice for the disenfranchised: “I didn’t know how heavy it was for black women…that has blown me away. That part bothers me.” What bothers her even more is that it hasn’t bothered the millions who should be bothered. Phill Wilson of the Black AIDS Institute recalls, “You kind of pinch yourself when you have someone of her stature say they want to be involved and someone as creative as she is.” As she intones on her latest album, Let Love Rule: “I think only when we really try to hear people / can the process toward understanding them begin to take shape.”

Too many people continue to shut their ears to the needs of people living with HIV/AIDS. They must do their part and listen to those of us who are working in the fight against HIV stigma and barriers to healthcare access. We must do our part and amplify the voices who speak the truth about AIDS in order to end the pandemic.

In this issue, we underscore the idea that getting to the end of AIDS is a multi-person effort. It is going to take people like Daniel Szymczyk, who founded The HIV League to provide scholarship money to students living with HIV/AIDS. People like Allie Oakes, an individual who navigated the healthcare system to provide her son

AMERICA’S AIDS MAGAZINE issue 278 vol. 26 no. 12 December 2017 editorial offices: (518) 426-9010 fax: (518) 436-5354

with the option of PrEP. Or people like Ruth Coker Burks, Hank Trout, and Bill Beiersdorfer, who were there in the early days of the epidemic as caregivers and who continue to provide testimony about the tremendous loss of life. We honor writers like Leslie L. Smith, who pens this month’s Second Acts column; Cory Frederick, who was interviewed by John Francis Leonard about his HIV-conscious journalism; and Robert Carr, whose poignant poem is the first selection by our new poetry editor, Noah Stetzer, who himself has written searingly, touchingly about living with HIV. Some voices in our World AIDS Day issue already have major platforms, and they use them to great effect. The work of steadfast A&U columnist Justin B. Terry-Smith, as collected in his stand-alone blog Justin’s HIV Journal, is being archived in the U.S. National Library of Medicine at the National Institutes of Health. For Under_Reported, our column devoted to news that deserves a second look, A&U’s Larry Buhl interviews Guillermo Chacón, President of the Latino Commission on AIDS, about tailoring messages for the communities his organization represents. And let’s not forget our profile of artist Martin Wong, who is no longer with us except through earth-toned images that extol the liberation of desire in the midst of oppression.

Every December 1 we commemorate the lives of the millions of women, men, and children who we have lost to the virus.

And we reinvigorate our own voices to effect the end of AIDS. There is good news that our voices are being put into action: We are getting closer to fewer new infections every new year. With nearly half of us who are living with HIV around the world benefiting from effective medical regimens that control the virus in our bodies, there is good reason to hope that the end of AIDS is getting closer—there will be much reporting of our progress at next year’s 2018 International AIDS Conference in Amsterdam. We can’t stop speaking our truth now. Now that we are so close.

DAVID WAGGONER

Editor in Chief & Publisher David Waggoner Managing Editor: Chael Needle Senior Editors: Dann Dulin, Sean Black Editors at Large: Chip Alfred, Hank Trout Special Projects Editor: Lester Strong Arts Editor: Alina Oswald Poetry Editor: Noah Stetzer Consulting Editor: Nick Steele Copy Editor: Maureen Hunter Contributing Editors: Sarah Churchill Downes, Reed Massengill, Kelly McQuain, Lesléa Newman, Robert E. Penn Contributing Writers: Noël Alumit, T.J. Banks, Larry Buhl, Ruby Comer, George M. Johnson, John Francis Leonard, Candace Y.A. Montague, Connie Rose, David Rosenberg, Corey Saucier, Stevie St. John, Justin B. Terry-Smith, Patricia Nell Warren, Jeannie Wraight, Rob Zukowski Art Director: Timothy J. Haines Contributing Photographers: Jordan Ancel, Davidd Batalon, Mark Bennington, Tom Bianchi, Sean Black, Adam Bouska, Brian Bowen Smith, Tim Courtney, Duane Cramer, Stephen Churchill Downes, Greg Gorman, Francis Hills, Renée Jacobs, Michael Kerner, Tara Lessard, Tom McGovern, Nancy Perry, Annie Tritt National Advertising Director: Harold Burdick, Jr. Sales & Marketing: David L. Bonitatibus Advertising Sales Office: (518) 426-9010 National Advertising Representative: Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 Subscription Info: (518) 426-9010 Circulation Manager: Robert Schelepanow Bookkeeper: Richard Garcia Board of Directors President: David Waggoner Vice President: Harold Burdick, Jr. Secretary: Richard Garcia Founding Board Members: Mark S. Labrecque, 1961–1992, Christopher Hewitt, 1946–2004, Mark Galbraith, 1962–2011

In Memoriam: Bill Jacobson, 1939–2005 Rhomylly B. Forbes, 1963–2011 • Chris Companik, 1957–2012 Nancy Ellegate, 1959–2015 A&U (ISSN 1074-0872) is published by Art & Understanding, Inc., 25 Monroe St., Suite 205, Albany, NY 122102743, USA. For A&U advertising information please call 518-426-9010; for subscriptions and address changes please call 518-426-9010; for letters to the editor and unsolicited manuscripts write A&U Magazine, 25 Monroe Street, Albany, New York 12210; fax 518-436-5354; or e-mail: mailbox@aumag.org. All unsolicited manuscripts that do not have a S.A.S.E. cannot be returned and will not be acknowledged. ©2017 Art & Understanding, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. A&U may not be reproduced in any manner, either in whole or in part, without written permission of the publisher. A&U and the graphic representations thereof are the registered trademarks of Art & Understanding, Inc., a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization. Individual Subscription rates: $24.95 (12 issues). Institutional rates: $80.00 (12 issues). For subscriptions outside the USA and possessions, $30.95/Canada, $49.95/ international, payable in advance in U.S. currency. First North American serial rights revert to contributors upon publication. A&U retains the right to anthologize work in further issues, as well as in microform or reprinting on the Internet within the context of each issue. Statements of writers, artists and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publisher. Readers note: subjects and contributors to A&U are both HIV-positive and HIV-negative. In the absence of a specific statement herein concerning the serostatus of any individual mentioned in, or contributing material to, this publication, no inference is made with respect thereto and none should be implied. Letters written to A&U or its contributors are assumed intended for publication. Art & Understanding, Inc. assumes no responsibility or liability for unsolicited submissions and does not guarantee the return thereof.

PostMaster: Please send address corrections to A&U Magazine, 25 Monroe Street, Suite 205, Albany NY 122102743, USA

Printed in USA • Visit our Web site at www.aumag.org

In adults with HIV on ART who have diarrhea not caused by an infection

IMPORTANT PATIENT INFORMATION This is only a summary. See complete Prescribing Information at Mytesi.com or by calling 1-844-722-8256. This does not take the place of talking with your doctor about your medical condition or treatment.

What Is Mytesi?

Mytesi is a prescription medicine used to improve symptoms of noninfectious diarrhea (diarrhea not caused by a bacterial, viral, or parasitic infection) in adults living with HIV/AIDS on ART. Do Not Take Mytesi if you have diarrhea caused by an infection. Before you start Mytesi, your doctor and you should make sure your diarrhea is not caused by an infection (such as bacteria, virus, or parasite).

Possible Side Effects of Mytesi Include:

Tired of planning your life around diarrhea?

Enough is Enough Get relief. Pure and simple. Ask your doctor about Mytesi.

Mytesi (crofelemer): • Is the only medicine FDA-approved to relieve diarrhea in people with HIV • Treats diarrhea differently by normalizing the flow of water in the GI tract • Has the same or fewer side effects as placebo in clinical studies • Comes from a tree sustainably harvested in the Amazon Rainforest What is Mytesi?

Mytesi is a prescription medicine that helps relieve symptoms of diarrhea not caused by an infection (noninfectious) in adults living with HIV/AIDS on antiretroviral therapy (ART).

Important Safety Information Mytesi is not approved to treat infectious diarrhea (diarrhea caused by bacteria, a virus, or a parasite). Before starting you on Mytesi, your healthcare provider will first be sure that you do not have infectious diarrhea. Otherwise, there is a risk you would not receive the right medicine and your infection could get worse. In clinical studies, the most common side effects that occurred more often than with placebo were upper respiratory tract (sinus, nose, and throat) infection (5.7%), bronchitis (3.9%), cough (3.5%), flatulence (3.1%), and increased bilirubin (3.1%).

For Copay Savings Card and Patient Assistance, see Mytesi.com

Please see complete Prescribing Information at Mytesi.com.

NP-390-9

RELIEF, PURE AND SIMPLE

• Upper respiratory tract infection (sinus, nose, and throat infection) • Bronchitis (swelling in the tubes that carry air to and from your lungs) • Cough • Flatulence (gas) • Increased bilirubin (a waste product when red blood cells break down) For a full list of side effects, please talk to your doctor.

Tell your doctor if you have any side effect that bothers you or does not go away.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Should I Take Mytesi If I Am:

Pregnant or Planning to Become Pregnant?

• Studies in animals show that Mytesi could harm an unborn baby or affect the ability to become pregnant • There are no studies in pregnant women taking Mytesi • This drug should only be used during pregnancy if clearly needed A Nursing Mother?

• It is not known whether Mytesi is passed through human breast milk • If you are nursing, you should tell your doctor before starting Mytesi • Your doctor will help you to decide whether to stop nursing or to stop taking Mytesi Under 18 or Over 65 Years of Age? • Mytesi has not been studied in children under 18 years of age • Mytesi studies did not include many people over the age of 65. So it is not clear if this age group will respond differently. Talk to your doctor to find out if Mytesi is right for you

What Should I Know About Taking Mytesi With Other Medicines?

If you are taking any prescription or over-the-counter medicine, herbal supplements, or vitamins, tell your doctor before starting Mytesi.

What If I Have More Questions About Mytesi?

For more information, please see the full Prescribing Information at Mytesi.com or speak to your doctor or pharmacist.

To report side effects or make a product complaint or for additional information, call 1-844-722-8256.

Rx Only Manufactured by Patheon, Inc. for Napo Pharmaceuticals, Inc. San Francisco, CA 94105 Copyright © Napo Pharmaceuticals, Inc. Mytesi comes from the Croton lechleri tree harvested in South America.

digital

s t n i O r p t o fo

ur annual focus on holiday gifts that help raise funds for nonprofits received much attention, but for some reason coffee and teddy bears must be on people’s mind because Project Open Hand’s collaboration with Carta Coffee and Teddy Bear Touchdowns, a program that puts huggable friends into the arms of children living with HIV/AIDS, were shared a lot! Check out our November issue and our website for all of our ideas to make spirits bright!

ed r a h K s t s mo FACEBOO

mostloved on INSTAGRAM

Lewis photo by Jordan Ancel; Project Open Hand photo courtesy Carta Coffee; Dab photo by Sean Black

topmedia TWEET

@AmericasAIDSMagazine 8

@au_magazine

@au_americas_aids_magazine A&U • DECEMBER 2017

SOMETIMES, OUR HIGHEST HEIGHTS HAPPEN

LONG BEFORE TAKEOFF. Proud Partner of the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation.

Moonlight Shone Bright Cascading beams of light illuminated the Black AIDS Institute’s 16th Annual Heroes in the Struggle Awards, a star-studded photographic

tribute to Black Americans and their allies who have made heroic contributions to the fight against HIV/AIDS

Text & Photos by Sean Black

H

and to heart as emotion overcame one of our most beloved actresses, Alfre Woodard endeared her audience further at this year’s 2017 Heroes in the Struggle Gala Reception and Awards Presentation benefiting the Black AIDS Institute. Flanked by the crème-de-la-crème of Black Hollywood, Ms. Woodard pressed on while leading men Mike Colter (Marvel’s Luke Cage, which costars Woodard) and Academy Award winner Mahershala Ali (Moonlight) rose to her side, poignantly underscoring the evening’s theme of Black men honoring Black women.

“I am not a bonafide hero in the struggle,” humbly began Ms. Woodard. “I have been in the struggle, but I have been far away from you. Truthfully, I was unable to stand up straight here, to do so was to close a soul-wound that I couldn’t heal.

10

“In the first wave of our brothers and sisters to go down, I had to let go of my most trusted friend, my more-than-brother, whom I had come of age with and with whom I was to grow old with. It was so early on when he left I think they [scientists] had just come up with a name for what was randomly picking off our family in the most gruesome ways; ‘devastated’ doesn’t describe where I was left, so I couldn’t speak about it.”

Each year The Black AIDS Institute, the only national HIV/AIDS think tank focused exclusively on Black communities, inducts a select group of individuals and organizations that have made commendable heroic contributions to the fight against HIV/AIDS in Black America.

Founded in May of 1999, The Institute hosted it’s 16th Annual Heroes in the Struggle Awards Presentation & Reception on September 16, 2017, at the Darryl F. Zanuck Theater at 20th Century Fox Studios in Los Angeles.

This year’s 2017 inductees, besides Woodard, included Taraji P. Henson, Laverne Cox [A&U, June 2014], Vanessa Williams, Gina Brown, and Gina Belafonte and Sankofa. The 2017 Corporate Hero was presented to Novant Health.

“At the age of fifteen, I began working with the

Black AIDS Institute and I am proud to be a member of the Board of Directors,” said Jussie Smollett, Black AIDS Institute Board Member who served as this year’s Chair and Host “Although it is not spoken about like it used to, the AIDS epidemic is not over, especially in Black communities. I am humbled to pay tribute to these

Opposite page (clockwise from top): Honoree Alfre Woodard flanked by Mike Colter and Mahershala Ali; honoree Taraji P. Henson and Jussie Smollett; Van Jones; honoree Vanessa Williams, Black AIDS Institute Board’s First Vice Chair, and her children; honoree Laverne Cox Left: SInging group June’s Diary

remarkable women in our community.”

Nearly 100 individuals have been inducted into the Heroes in the Struggle Hall of Fame over the last sixteen years. It is a photographic tribute to HIV/AIDS allies; elected officials and policy makers; artists from television, film, stage and music; civil rights leaders; healthcare providers; advocates and activists; and people living with HIV/AIDS. Since its debut in 2002, A&U • DECEMBER 2017

the exhibit has traveled the world—raising awareness; challenging Black Americans, key thought leaders and institutions to get involved in their communities; and generating critical conversation about HIV stigma, testing, prevention, treatment, and care.

The Black AIDS Institute vigilantly reminds us that “Black women are the single most important engine in the survival of Black people, including with HIV/AIDS,” DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

said Phill Wilson [A&U, February 2014], President and CEO of the Black AIDS Institute. “Fifty-nine percent of women living with HIV in the United States are Black.

Black women account for sixty percent of the new HIV infections among women, and are sixteen times more likely to be diagnosed with HIV than white women. This event not only allows us to acknowledge the invaluable role Black women have played in

the AIDS fight, but it helps raise awareness about the devastating impact AIDS continues to have on Black women and the opportunities we have to turn that around if Black men and women work together.”

For more information about the Black AIDS Institute, log on to: www.blackaids.org.

Sean Black is an A&U Senior Editor.

11

NNewsBreak EWSBREAK On September 27, 2017, marking National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) joined dozens of public health agencies and more than 400 organizations from sixty countries, announcing that it has finally embraced the concept of “U=U”—“Undetectable Equals Untransmittable.” That is, HIV-positive people who have undetectable viral loads suppressed by HIV medications, who remain on retroviral therapy, cannot transmit the virus to sexual partners. The CDC said that data from three studies had convinced it that “[p]eople who take ART [anti-retroviral therapy] daily as prescribed and achieve and maintain an undetectable viral load have effectively no risk of sexually transmitting the virus to an HIV-negative partner.”

This statement from the CDC is extremely important as it marks a break with the CDC’s previous acknowledgement that viral suppression only “greatly reduces the chance” of HIV transmission. The change in wording is being attributed both to data, such as that from the recent Opposites Attract study as well as dozDr. Anthony Fauci, NIAID, Ambassador Deborah Birx, ens of studies on more than 58,000 sex acts, which have shown that if a person is Bruce Richman (Prevention Access Campaign),Dazon undetectable and stays on treatment, they cannot pass HIV on to a partner, and to Dixon Diallo (SisterLove), Charles King (Housing the work of community groups such as the Prevention Access Campaign.

Works) at IAS 2017 press conference for U=U. Bruce Richman, founder of the Prevention Access Campaign, told A&U, “The CDC statement is part of the overall HHS review process to update their communications with current science. It immediately changes lives. I was at a conference for people living with HIV in Ontario [when the statement was released]. A woman who had been married for twenty-two years and was always afraid she would pass HIV to her husband told me with tears in her eyes that learning she can’t transmit HIV is giving her a new lease on life and the hope of being intimate with her husband.”

Richman continued, “[The statement] provides the best argument for universal access to treatment and care, not only to save lives but also to stop new transmissions....[E]xpanding access to treatment and care improves the lives of people living with HIV and gets us closer to ending the epidemic. [We will] remember this moment as a turning point in what it means to live with HIV.” The CDC’s statement has been hailed as a “breakthrough against stigma and for HIV prevention” by the HIV community. Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of the HIV/AIDS division at the National Institutes of Health, the first high-level figure to back the statement that “U=U,” said the CDC’s statement will help to dispel both societal stigma and personal stigma. “No one should ever underestimate the concern about social stigma—the pressure people put on themselves,” Dr. Fauci explained to the UK’s Daily Mail. “There are people out there who have guilt and fear about getting tested positive. They are afraid of the stigma of being positive, so they may not get tested. But now, if you know that by taking medication you are dangerous to nobody, that does have a profound impact psychologically. People won’t be afraid to get tested and start medication so they can suppress their viral load.”

For more information on this groundbreaking statement, log on to www.cdc.gov; for info on the statement and the “U=U” campaign, log on to www.preventionaccess.org.

BRIGHTE News Researchers at ViiV Healthcare, a global HIV healthcare company, have released the results of the phase III BRIGHTE study of an “attachment inhibitor” called “fostemsavir.” The fostemsavir was administered to 371 “heavily treatment-experienced” (HTE) patients with HIV-1 infections whose regular ART regimen was failing. After one week of adding fostemsavir to the patients’ regular ART regimen, patients experienced a greater reduction in HIV- viral load than those patients receiving a placebo. Fifty-four percent of patients in the study achieved virologic suppression (<40 c/mL) after twenty-four weeks of adding fostemsavir to their regular ART regimen.

HAART therapies have greatly increased life expectancy for the HIV community, but sometimes those therapies fail for one reason or another. Antiviral resistance and HIV medicine failure in HTE patients can lead to mutations resistant to antiretroviral medicines; HTE patients may also experience more co-morbidities and tolerability issues with their regular regimen than other patients. HTE patients’ need for effective treatment often goes unmet.

12

A&U • DECEMBER 2017

photo courtesy Prevention Access Campaign

CDC Declares U = U

newsbreak “The results of the BRIGHTE study are very promising. Patients who participated in this study were failing their current antiretroviral regimens and had very limited treatment options left upon entry into the study, and the addition of fostemsavir to their failing regimen resulted in meaningful reductions in viral load at one week.” said John C. Pottage, Jr, MD, Chief Scientific and Medical Officer, ViiV Healthcare. According to ViiV, “Fostemsavir… is a first in class, HIV-1 attachment inhibitor that blocks viral attachment to CD4 by binding to gp120, acting at the first step of the viral life cycle.,” and shows great promise for treating HIV patients whose regular ART regimen is failing.

The results of the BRIGHTE study were released at the 16th European AIDS Conference in Milan, Italy in October 2017.

Last-Minute Holiday Gifts from DAA We all know that panicky feeling of OMGI I still have to get a gift for Uncle David! or How did I forget Angela at work?! Well, you can relax! Designers Against AIDS has added hundreds of new items to their online store just in time for your last-minute holiday shopping emergencies!

Since DAA opened its online store in October 2013, they have sold dozens of must-have fashion items, from their iconic DAA T-shirts designed by Robert Smith of The Cure, to new and vintage designer items from brands such as Marc Jacobs, Eastpak, Delvaux, H&M, Belgian fashion houses Essentiel Antwerp and JBC, Prada, Balenciaga, Hermès, Rick Owens, Marni and many more. In our Holiday Gift Guide [A&U, Nov. 2017] we featured DAA’s beautiful and useful tote bags made of meticulously hand-embroidered Hmong fabrics by Antwerp designers. Their newly added in-store selections include the fashions featured in these photos by Belgian fashion photographer Guy Kokken.

As always, the DAA store is able to donate 100 percent of all sales proceeds to AIDS charities because every single item in their online store has been donated by supporters of DAA’s work. Your Black fringed and embellished party top, Fashion Against AIDS purchase of gifts from DAA helps to fund their fight against that complacency and for the acceptance of and equal rights for HIV-pos- (DAA’s global collaboration with H&M that ran for five itive people everywhere.

“Al Capote” T-shirt (created for one of years) and black tweed wrap Looking good and doing good have rarely come together in DAA’s annual fashion collections with skirt with silver buckle by H&M Belgian retailer JBC, another five-year such spectacular fashion as at the DAA store. Your friends— and your community!—will remember your generosity for years collaboration) to come!

Go check out the new DAA store for clothes, accessories and more at http://designersagainstaids.tictail.com/. You can also check them out at their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/designersforcharity/.

photos courtesy of Guy Kokken; creative direction by Ninette Murk; styling: Ingrid Martens; models: Joseph Joan and Anke Mistiaen

AMBER Glow At the 16th European AIDS Conference in Milan, Italy, on October 25, 2017, Janssen Pharmaceutica, NV announced the results of its Phase 3 AMBER study. In short, the study demonstrated that its new single-tablet regimen (STR) Symtuza (containing darunavir 800 mg, cobicistat 150 mg, emtricitabine 200 mg and tenofovir alafenamide 10 mg) (D/C/F/TAF) was effective in achieving a suppressed viral load (viral load of less than 50 copies per mL at forty-eight weeks, per FDA Snapshot analysis) in adults with previously untreated HIV-1 infection.

The AMBER study—a Phase 3 randomized, double-blind, active-controlled, international, multi-center study—was designed to assess the safety and efficacy of the single-tablet D/C/F/TAF versus the control in patients whose HIV-1 had not previously been treated. The control consisted two medications, D/C plus F/TDF, and patients were randomly assigned to the two groups (362 D/C/F/TAF; 363 control). The goal of the study was to assess the effectiveness of the STR versus the control in achieving viral suppression. D/C/F/TAF demonstrated non-inferiority versus the control group at forty-eight weeks (HIV RNA <50 c/mL 91.4 percent vs 88.4 percent respectively, difference 2.7 percent; 95 percent CI: -1.6 to 7.1 percent). The STR also resulted in low virologic failure (VF) rates [(16/362] versus 3.3 percent [12/363)]. D/C/F/TAF also demonstrated superior bone and renal safety parameters versus the control. Researchers observed no resistance-associated mutations (RAMs) to darunavir or TAF/TDF through forty-eight weeks.

Non-adherence to a daily regimen of HIV medications can lead to drug resistance and nullify treatment. As of September 25, 2017, Symtuza has been approved by the European Commission for treating HIV-1 infection in adults and adolescents aged twelve years and older who weigh at least 40 kg and can now be marketed in all member states of the European Union and the European Economic Area. Janssen has filed a new drug application with the U.S. FDA and is awaiting approval. If approved, Symtuza will be the only complete, simplified regimen for patients with adherence problems.

“The 48-week AMBER results demonstrated that if approved in the U.S., the investigational darunavir-based STR—combining the durability and high genetic barrier to resistance of darunavir with the safety profile of TAF—could provide a complete and simplified regimen for treatment-naïve patients who may struggle with adherence, and in turn face the risk of developing drug resistance,” said Rick Nettles, MD, Vice President, Medical Affairs, Janssen Infectious Diseases.

—All reporting by Hank Trout DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

13

by Ruby Comer

Ricky Rebel

18

Ruby Comer: Nice to see you again. I think we saw each other last at an amfAR event. Ya know, a lot of adjectives have been spun around to describe you. Sum up “Ricky Rebel” in one word.

Ricky Rebel: Intrepid.

Lovely. Who are your inspirations in the music business?

Bowie, Prince, and Madonna.

That’s a triple powerhouse! I know at one point in the late nineties No Authority signed with Michael Jackson’s label and the release party was held at Neverland Ranch. What was that like?!

Hanging out with Michael was a surreal experience. We rode dirt bikes, swam, watched movies, rode the carnival rides there, and danced in his studio together.

Neverland was a cool place and I never wanted to leave! Michael was a mysterious man but he was also extremely kind and generous. Those are memories that I will never forget.

OMG, yes, wow! Ricky, you preach “Celebrate your sexuality.” How do you celebrate yours?

In my bedroom or someone else’s bedroom. I also celebrate sex in my music, like my new record called The New Alpha, I candidly sing about my sex life and fantasies.

What is your first memory of the epidemic?

I remember hearing Madonna say, “Put a rubber on your willy.” I asked my mom what that meant and she told me that it’s about condoms, which protects people from HIV. [Madonna’s documentary] Truth or Dare opened my eyes about the virus. To this day, it’s one of my favorite movies of all time. She brought to light a lot of cold hard facts about the epidemic.

She certainly did. No one like Madge! She was just… (Ricky interrupts) I grew up with this idea that if I hook up with a man, there’s a strong chance that I could be infected with the HIV virus. It was just safer to hook up with girls.

So you consider yourself bisexual?

Yes, I do. I first had sex with a girl at sixteen and a guy at nineteen.

Interesting…I lost my virginity to a girl at A&U • DECEMBER 2017

Ruby illustration by Davidd Batalon; all photos by Susy Miller

W

hat could be more festive for the holidays than the colorful and vibrant glam rocker and singer/ songwriter Ricky Rebel?!

The androgynous performer, who has witnessed the death of several friends from AIDS-related causes, including choreographers he’s worked with, lends his talent to HIV and LGBT fundraisers, and publicly touts safe sex.

He sprang on the music scene in the late nineties as lead vocalist for the boyband, No Authority, touring with Destiny’s Child, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, and Aaron Carter. He also lent his voice to such films as Apollo 13 and Anywhere But Here and has appeared on television in Boston Public and American Dreams.

Deep depression followed the breakup of No Authority. Eventually Ricky set out on his own and in 2012 released the hit record, “Manipulator,” from the album of the same name. In October, he performed in Las Vegas alongside Diana Ross. His new album, The New Alpha, is out; proceeds from the release party went to Teen Cancer America.

When he was growing up in Upland, California, Ricky raised pet pigs.

Currently he has a partner of five years (did you like that transition!?), two dogs, Brian and Bonnie, and lives in beautiful downtown Burbank.

Taking advantage of his locale, I meet Ricky at the iconic NBC Studios one gray afternoon. Walking down the corridor to the soundstage, I pass giant framed pics of Taraji P. Henson, Miley Cyrus, Johnny Carson, and the cast of Laugh In. Never heard of them? Look it up. Before SNL, Laugh In was the rage!

As I enter the studio, I see Ricky in the sound booth. He joins me and we sit on a couple of folding chairs, next to the forest-green cement wall. He brings me a cuppa coffee, with a coconut and almond milk chaser. He sips green tea.

sixteen and to a guy at nineteen. [Ricky flashes a lively smile.] Tell about your first guy experience.

We were on tour with Britney Spears and this radio host gave me head. I was so incredibly nervous afterwards that I might be infected; the next day, I called a doctor to come out and test me. I was super paranoid about it. Depressed until my results came back four days later…I was negative. Back then I was so naïve. Nowadays I test regularly.

When you and your partner began your relationship, did you get tested together?

No, but we did talk about it and showed each other our test results.

Good idea! What a nice healthy activity to do together.

What’s your take on PrEP? I like it. I think that it’s important to use if you are engaging in high-risk activity, but I don’t like the possibility of liver damage [one of the potential side effects].

I understand. You are quite visible in charity events, what motivates you to give?

I care because I know what it’s like to be persecuted. I grew up in a very homophobic industry in the nineties. I was told that being gay must not be revealed to anyone. “You will never make it if you are openly gay,” I was warned. I had a producer lock me in a closet once to read me bible verses to “cure” me of my homosexuality.

OH MY GAWD. Sick Biblethumper!

I have always had a sense of wanting justice for people who do not deserve to be persecuted. I am a freedom fighter.

Fairness and equality are an illusion but that does not mean that people who break the law cannot be punished for it.

[There’s a brief silence between us.]

I also have a soft spot for LGBT children who are kicked out of their homes for being gay. I can’t imagine who I’d be if my parents had done that to me. My older brother and I were not raised in a DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

Ricky Rebel in performance

religious home, more in a spiritual environment. [He ponders.]

My parents are role models for me.

Awww, wunderbar! So nice to hear, Ricky. Also, this reminds me of how Frank Zappa responded when asked, “Why do you have such wonderful kids?”

He answered, “I told them to stay away from religion.” Say, your generation has one of the highest rates of HIV infection. Why? Because HIV is not a death sentence anymore. The fear evaporated. I have friends who are HIV-positive. I know people who have HIV but do not want to tell me. I respect their wishes. [He looks off as a sound engineer passes.] I believe that more artists and politicians need to talk about the epidemic. Being gay is still very taboo in certain parts of the world. In fact, being gay can mean a death sentence.

Incredibly unbelievable. Un-frigging-believable. Who do you consider a hero in the pandemic, Ricky?

Madonna. She made it cool to wear a condom. She donated to AIDS charities.

She stuck her neck out when she really didn’t have to. She was hated for loving sex and talking openly about the devastation the disease visited on her friends.

She told her story—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Damn straight.

Not long ago I went to the Human Rights Campaign headquarters to organize events that we could do together to help raise money for the gay community and safe sex advocacy. [Ricky halts. He carefully flips his electric-blue hair out of his greygreen twinkling peepers then declares in a lively serious tone] I’m a big supporter of…

Safe. Fun. Sex. Learn more about The New Alpha by logging on to: www.rickyrebelrocks.com.

Ruby Comer is an independent journalist from the Midwest who is happy to call Hollywood her home away from home. Reach her by e-mail at MsRubyComer@aol.com.

19

What Works for Me

letting go of casual sex & holding onto the promise of the real thing

20

relationships with several successful men but eventually just one guy wasn’t enough and I’d be back to my old tricks. I needed as much attention as I could get. There were times when I wanted to say no at a certain point but felt that I couldn’t. Or, I was simply too high or drunk to do so.

No one deserves HIV or AIDS. We should be able to express our sexuality any way we choose without the the possibility of death, even when one’s motivation was as screwed up as mine was. For me, having lived through many of AIDS’ worst years, wearing a condom was second nature. No matter how high I was, I insisted on it. At a certain point however, long before PrEP, the condoms fell by the wayside. I took incredible risks and paid a price. I don’t deserve to be positive, but it’s hardly a surprise that it came to fruition.

Now, it wasn’t all bad. I, at times, enjoyed myself. Once in a while we make a real connection, even with a casual partner. Something clicks and the sex is mind-blowing. I traveled a lot when I was younger and have many wonderful memories of great guys that I shared wonderful vacation-length romances with. The great love of my life, who I met in a bar and went home with in the early nineties, was a one-night-stand. We had an incredible sex life that only got better as we grew to know each other more deeply and became more intimate.

I took a long sabbatical from sex a few years back and it totally readjusted what I expected and needed from sex and relation-

ships. One-night-stands just don’t work for me anymore. Believe me, I don’t give up easily and I’ve tried to no avail. I just can’t fake it anymore. I need love and intimacy to achieve any sort of satisfaction sexually. I’m going to hold out for the real thing again.

I need to know someone to have sex with them. I need to know that they won’t hit the door seconds after orgasm. They need to be in my mind and my heart. Call it age, call it hard-won wisdom. I want love.

What I know now is that the great thing about being a sexually liberated gay man is that we have choices, we can write our own scripts. We can choose monogamy, we can choose an open relationship. We can express our sexuality with different men or just choose one. Hell, we can even get married now; that still blows my mind and fills me with hope. The important thing is choosing what works for you and not letting anyone, even yourself, put you in a box.

And in the interest of full disclosure, you can still find me on Scruff flirting and woofing. I’ll give that up when there’s a ring on this finger. But, no more one-night stands. No more casual encounters. I want something different for myself.

John Francis Leonard is an advocate and writer, as well as a voracious reader of literature, which helps to feed his love of the English language. He has been living with HIV for thirteen years and he is currently at work on his first novel, Fools Rush In. His fiction has been published this month in the ImageOutWrite literary journal. Follow him on Twitter @JohnFrancisleo2.

A&U • DECEMBER 2017

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

S

o often in life we strive to be something that we’re not. One of the great things about being a gay man is the sexual freedom that we have. It’s a hard-won freedom to express ourselves physically with the partners of our choice when, and as often, as we choose. There’s no shame in it. Sex, even between strangers, is an expression of our brotherhood and the bond we hold. But what about the guy for whom casual sex just doesn’t work?

For years I thought I was expected to have as many casual encounters as I could. What should have been a natural expression of my sexual identity never quite fit, however. I envied the guys who sought endless pleasure in conquest. I thought that to be liberated, to be a real man, a modern gay man, I had to follow suit. It went with the whole package, being successful, moneyed, and one of the elite.

I’d like to blame it all on the expectations others had of me, but that wouldn’t paint the whole picture. Certainly, when you’re a good-looking gay man something is expected of you—everyone wants a piece.

That’s hardly the whole story however.

Driving my liberated sex life was a deep insecurity, a need to be validated. I could never see myself clearly unless it was through the eyes of a man. I sought love but only found desire. Often I operated out of a need to not feel alone, even for an hour or two.

All this sexual license didn’t come naturally. I was a square peg trying to put myself in a round hole. To enable the ruse I turned to my old friends, alcohol and drugs. They were my constant companions. Freed from my inhibitions, I took on all comers. On what I told myself was a “good night” I’d pick up a guy in a bar, go home and have sex with him, and return to the scene of the crime to pick up another.

When that didn’t work I turned to sex clubs and the baths. The more fucked-up I was, the more extreme the sex. In my daily life, my relationships were with older men with a high tax bracket. Sex was a commodity that I traded.

So often during that time I had sex, not because I desired the other person, but because I felt obligated to. If a man was so goodlooking or earned so much more money, how could I refuse? Sure I had

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viewfinder

Kintsugi

by

Hank Trout a survivor’s reflections on world

aids day 2017

W

hen the Japanese mend broken objects, they emphasize the damage by filling in the cracks with gold. They believe that when something has suffered damage and has history, it becomes more beautiful than before.

This is kintsugi, the art of “fixing with gold.”

We were broken.

Thirty-six years ago, a virus invaded our community, invaded our bodies. It destroyed hundreds of thousands of us.

Those of us whom the virus couldn’t kill, it left broken—physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually broken.

We have suffered damage.

Those of us who carry the virus inside us know well the damage it has wreaked.

We are all-too-familiar with the Kaposi sarcoma, the pneumocystis pneumonia, the neuropathy, the lipodystrophy, the loss of bone strength, and the accelerated aging that the virus has wrought. We know all too well the debilitating post-trauma nightmares, the paralyzing, numbing fear of dying unimaginably painful deaths.

Those whom the virus missed have suffered alongside us—they and we have endured the same innumerable losses, the same chaotic terror of the early years of the Plague, the same unspeakable horror and grief of watching helplessly as our friends, our lovers, our co-workers, our family members fell to the virus, shriveled, and died.

illustrations by Timothy J. Haines

.

DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

We have history.

Both alone and together as a community, we survivors of the virus share a history of widespread stigma; of being shunned and feared like lepers; of being ignored by a government that seemed to want us to die; of being unpaid guinea pigs for pharmaceutical companies; of being duped by charlatans peddling snake-oil “cures” and phony feel-good psycho-babble bromides; of hatred aimed at us, sometimes, sadly, from within our own community. We share a history of innumerable hospital rooms and hospice beds and memorial services; a history of ACTING UP, of fighting and marching for research and treatment options; a history of frustrations, disappointments and defeats. We share a history of oceans of tears, of cracks in our hearts, of hopes dashed and dreams unlived.

We are mending.

And yet, beyond all our expectations, beyond our wildest hopes, we are mending!

We come together—in all our diversity, despite our differences, in the face of our individual and shared griefs—we come together to feed one another, to comfort our sick, to offer solace where none was available, to educate our young and elevate our old, to support and cheer and encourage each other. We

come together to celebrate our successes, to honor our fallen, to assuage the damage wrought by nearly four decades of anguish and pain and loss. Every meal shared, every hug given, every tear wiped away, every gathering we attend fills in the cracks of our emotional and spiritual mending.

We are golden.

We have entered our Golden Years.

We have come to realize our own value, to ourselves and to each other. We have learned that none of us needs to face the world alone. We are caregivers, educators, artists, musicians, poets, laborers, community leaders. We have harnessed our experience and our knowledge to combat the virus’s damage today and to prevent its spread tomorrow. We are not victims, we are not merely surviving—we are thriving. We are claiming the responsibilities and demanding the reverence due us as Elders in the Tribe.

We are filling the cracks with gold.

We are beautiful.

We are strong. We are resilient. We are tough as nails. We are proud. We are loving.

We are still here—and we are more beautiful than ever before.

Hank Trout, Editor at Large, edited Drummer, Malebox, and Folsom magazines in the early 1980s. A long-term survivor of HIV/AIDS (diagnosed in 1989), he is a thirty-seven-year resident of San Francisco, where he lives with his fiancé Rick. Follow him on Twitter @HankTroutWriter.

23

YOU MATTER AND SO DOES YOUR HEALTH

That’s why starting and staying on HIV-1 treatment is so important.

WHAT IS DESCOVY®?

DESCOVY is a prescription medicine that is used together with other HIV-1 medicines to treat HIV-1 in people who weigh at least 77 lbs (35kg). DESCOVY is not for use to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection. DESCOVY combines 2 medicines into 1 pill taken once a day. Because DESCOVY by itself is not a complete treatment for HIV-1, it must be used together with other HIV-1 medicines.

DESCOVY does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses, you must keep taking DESCOVY. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body fluids. Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body fluids on them.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

What is the most important information I should know about DESCOVY? DESCOVY may cause serious side effects: • Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. DESCOVY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking DESCOVY, your HBV may suddenly get worse. Do not stop taking DESCOVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health.

What are the other possible side effects of DESCOVY? Serious side effects of DESCOVY may also include: • Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking DESCOVY. • Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking DESCOVY if you develop new or worse kidney problems.

• Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that

can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.

• Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.

The most common side effect of DESCOVY is nausea.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or don’t go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking DESCOVY? • All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or have had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection.

• All the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Other medicines may affect how DESCOVY works. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

Ask your healthcare provider if it is safe to take DESCOVY with all of your other medicines.

• If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.

It is not known if DESCOVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking DESCOVY. • If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see Important Facts about DESCOVY, including important warnings, on the following page.

Ask your healthcare provider if an HIV-1 treatment that contains DESCOVY® is right for you.

IMPORTANT FACTS

This is only a brief summary of important information about DESCOVY and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment. ®

(des-KOH-vee) MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT DESCOVY

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF DESCOVY

DESCOVY may cause serious side effects, including: • Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. DESCOVY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking DESCOVY. Do not stop taking DESCOVY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months.

DESCOVY can cause serious side effects, including: • Those in the “Most Important Information About DESCOVY” section.

• Changes in your immune system.

• New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure.

• Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat.

• Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain.

The most common side effect of DESCOVY is nausea.

These are not all the possible side effects of DESCOVY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking DESCOVY. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with DESCOVY.

ABOUT DESCOVY • DESCOVY is a prescription medicine that is used together with other HIV-1 medicines to treat HIV-1 in people who weigh at least 77 lbs (35kg). DESCOVY is not for use to help reduce the risk of getting HIV-1 infection.

• DESCOVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others.

BEFORE TAKING DESCOVY Tell your healthcare provider if you: • Have or had any kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.

• Have any other medical condition.

• Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.

• Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed.

Do not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: • Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

• Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with DESCOVY.

GET MORE INFORMATION • This is only a brief summary of important information about DESCOVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.

• Go to DESCOVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 • If you need help paying for your medicine, visit DESCOVY.com for program information.

HOW TO TAKE DESCOVY • DESCOVY is a one pill, once a day HIV-1 medicine that is taken with other HIV-1 medicines.

• Take DESCOVY with or without food.

DESCOVY, the DESCOVY Logo, LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE, GILEAD, and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Version date: September 2017 © 2017 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. DVYC0085 11/17

by

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

F

or years I have lived behind a wall.

The wall is real, a boundary of my own making, but my conception of it changed drastically in the past few days. Until recently, the rules of my wall have been simple. It acts as a filter in spaces that are not “Gay” or “Queer-friendly.” It is an active workplace buffer that ensures that my social life is not too exposed. It exists to create safe spaces for the members of our community who need it.

It empowers me to care for all gay men in need, the way I was taught in the latter days of AIDS, when my newfound community rallied around those living out their last days.

While some of my peers planned actions, my friends and I stayed at bedsides and joined the rallies when they happened.

The values of care, generosity and acceptance best supported a life built around comforting the dying and the grieving.

That community was the foundation of my wall. Recently, I have learned how the wall hurts me both inside and out.

The other morning (10/9/17) a gay man assaulted me in my own home. He arrived for a late night Internet booty-call, obviously tweaked (using meth).

His condition had not surfaced in our previous chats, in spite of my well-tuned radar. Despite his disturbing level of intoxication, he seemed sweet. The public transport he used to get to me was no longer running, so instead of kicking him to the curb, or driving forty minutes (each way) to where he stayed, I let him sleep over. I got up early to give him a ride home. He refused to leave and got violent when I insisted. He was arrested. I have bite marks on my bicep and a course of antibiotics as a souvenir.

After twenty-five years of hooking up online and living by the rules of my wall, I have my first personal cautionary tale.

DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

From Walls to Spectrums

Leslie L. Smith the changing realities of lgbtqi+ politics

I wish the moral of this tale were simply: Don’t let a meth-head sleep it off in your apartment. But it’s not. Now, what I am feeling is a lot of anger toward those who have long been assumed to be my core allies. I am enraged that “gay” became a physical threat to me, and that threat was possible because I have tried to pass on the compassion I was taught in Chelsea and the Village in a time when those

neighborhoods felt like our safe spaces.

The moral is: My own wall of protection fucked me.

As the world around me has changed, my wall no longer protects me, or my community, the way it once did.

Inside, it puts me in harm’s way, because the meth epidemic is not at all like the HIV epidemic. Meth is reported to create a false sense if invulnerability, while AIDS only proved the inescapable depth of our mortality. These differences cannot be addressed with the same tools.

On the outside, the wall subdivides me (and us) from possible coalitions with other special interests that, if we worked together, could move America forward by leaps and bounds. This is a limitation of the wall I have struggled with for years.

For instance, though the differences are vast, prior to Stonewall, LGBT people had life restrictions that were similar to ways Jim Crow restricted other Americans.

These kinds of similarities can be found in the political causes of women, immigrants, labor, addicts, and others. I am not the first to suggest that our collective inability to build meaningful bridges across such similarities empowers the alt-right, but I know that my wall has empowered those divides.

Ironically, events like Charlottesville’s standoff feel stolen out of an ACT UP “how-to” manual. Perhaps this is why it feels harder to build both personal and political relationships than in the nineties, when AIDS activists pit our survival against the world’s indifference. Today, the rules are different; those that would oppress us are no longer simply indifferent. They are increasingly intolerant and violent. But then, our marginalized collective is too. My wall does not align with these realities.

When AIDS was taking people from us, we hit the bars in mass to spread the word. We clogged the streets as often as we could. This is not different than Black Lives Matter. Such groups are our neighbors and our natural allies. Yet I struggle to find ways to help causes like Black Lives Matter beyond posts on my Facebook wall. In spite of the fact that both meth and politics are undermining the strength of our communities, we remain unable to see each other as allies.

Perhaps our internal divisions make us unable to be helpful to our neighbors.

I hate the idea that more inclusivity has created more divisiveness, but I see it everywhere I turn. According to Wikipedia at least eighteen different flags have been created to identify the various sub-groups of our Queer community. And so many Queer people want to give me labels that don’t fit. The acronym LGBTQI+ tells smart conservative strategists that we are at least six separate groups easily turned on each other. From inside my wall, it sometimes seems we are willing to let them do just that.

Instead of focusing on ending all oppression, many seem focused on which of us is oppressed more. It is clear that some of my LGBTQI+ community would label me a symbol of white HIV privilege,

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the nuances of our difference. We must fight for the right to be different and equal in the most simple of terms. We must accept that, if we choose to leave the ghetto behind, we are not yet free enough to be simple suburban neighbors. We must actively participate in the whole of our new communities, and we must share what we know. Not doing this only makes us all more vulnerable to further attack. No matter what we want for ourselves as individuals, we will not see progress toward those goals until we unite communities and collectively turn the political tide. That requires actively creating unified liberal/ progressive approaches to the realities for our communities and our neighbors.

It requires finding a way to bond across causes to a message of freedom for all.

It requires a new American revolution.

It requires not another multi-colored flag, but a multi-colored resistance. It requires that we embrace and support the entire spectrum of difference.

Today, all of us need to be in the fight, not just Queer, but everyone who has lived handicapped in a world ruled by the forces that have shaped an oppressive world. We have so readily em-

braced gender and sexuality spectrums, yet we seem to want to stop there. We are a part of a human spectrum, one that is even more complex than the ones we have chosen to accept. But spectrums have no walls; they transition easily into gradations that are never purely one thing. Further, each part of a spectrum emerges from a single prism.

We must strive to live across the entire spectrum of life, empowering every human to be as different as they are or wish to be, as long as that difference does not infringe on the well being of another. If we can manage to present that to the world, a vision of a harmonious spectrum encompassing all the difference that make us human, that might be a cultural shift empowering enough to keep all our young men off the meth pipe. And it can start, not with a riot, but by inviting our neighbors to coffee with an offer to help. Our survival, and theirs, depends on it.

Leslie L. Smith is the author of Sally Field Can Play The Transexual and is currently working on a PhD at Arizona State Universityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s School of Art, Media and Engineering.

A&U â&#x20AC;˘ DECEMBER 2017

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

and would rather not fight alongside me.

In this, we might just be trading freedom and peace of mind for the right to be EXACTLY who we are in a micro-measure of difference. And all the while, a rising threat to oppressed groups systematically rolls back the advances we have made in the past two decades.

In this time I have taken no real action to invite my neighbors from outside the Queer community inside my wall. I let them fend for themselves. And while members of my community seem not to want my help, my neighbors seem to need it. At almost thirty years positive, I am just getting used to having a future, so I have no intention of giving that future up to bigotry and hate, theirs or ours. I refuse to let the valiant work of those that came before be minimized by the current shift in political power or by a generation of men smoking a pipe. I also refuse to lose that future because changing my views and approaches feels too hard or too inconvenient.

Our fight has returned to the basics even if we have not. It is time to find the ways to politically connect oppressed peoples, to make attempts to unite our voices. We must set aside the battle over

Making 2018 Your Year

five ways to refine your resolutions

I

t’s December already. It’s unbelievable that just a year ago, Donald Trump was elected President of the United States and many of us didn’t know where we were about to go as a country. A little over a year later, the chaos we thought would ensue has done so in epic fashion, but we are still here surviving, and, in a lot of cases, thriving through the instability of our country. As we come closer to the end of the year, it is important that we not get so caught up in what we didn’t accomplish over 2017, and set ourselves up for what we can and will accomplish in 2018. That starts with taking time out to invest in yourself.

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

1. Schedule your annual check-up January is right around the corner, and that means it is time to see how much damage you have done to your body over the past year. But really, January is the perfect time to go in for your annual check-up to make sure that your body is in tip-top shape for the 2018 year. Many of us, especially in marginalized communities, go years without seeing the doctor which could spell harm for us who have conditions that we may not know about. HIV, other STIs, diabetes are all problems that often go unchecked because we aren’t getting yearly exams done. If you are having sex then you at a minimum should be getting tested once a year for everything STI related. Outside of STIs, you should also be getting checked for things like cholesterol, glucose, eyesight, weight, and other health issues that can arise.

2. Set goals Not enough people set their goals and, even when they do so, they are so unrealistic that they become unachievable, setting one up for disappointment and failure. Goal-setting is an important part of being an adult, and a great way to create structure within one’s life. As simple as goal-setting may seem, many people get it wrong because they conflate goals that are short, medium, and long-term. The best practice I have always followed is to do the 1-year, 3-year, 5-year approach to goal-setting. The 1-year goals are those you want to accomplish in that next year—things that you know you can do, and short-term items you can work on to set DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

you up for long-term goals. The 3-year goals are typically the extention of the short-term goals, but with more specifity to set you up for that 5-year goal.

An example of this would be buying a home or condo. The 1-year goal could be to pay off credit card debt. The 3-year goal would be to save 15k for a down payment. The 5-year goal would be buying the home or condo. The problem comes when people put all these goals on the same sheet. These goals will require different amounts of time and effort and should be broken down accordingly.

3. Let go of burdens This is probably the hardest thing that most will have to deal with at the end of the year, but the most important part of entering 2018. You can’t grab new opportunities while holding on to things that have expired. You can’t continue to bring toxic relationships into 2018 and hope that things will get better.

You can’t bring bad health into 2018 and not check into it in order to get better. Burdens may not just be physical. It is important that you let go of the mental burdens you may be carrying as well. Most jobs allow you to see a therapist for free at least once a year. Try it out. If you have been forgoing getting on medicine that you know could help you have a better quality of life, try it out. Invest in yourself for a change.

4. Handle financial business It is important that one takes care of their financials at year’s end—old taxes, bills that aren’t or haven’t been paid, etc. Even when

money might be tight, it is important that you don’t lose sight of what your goals for the future are. That means it is important to speak with bill collectors and folks from financial institutions to set up some type of payment agreement or determine what you can do to start working on a better financial situation. The saying goes that you eat an elephant a little bit at a time. So start chipping away at debts. You may surprise yourself by year’s end.

5. Take time to rest You worked hard in 2017. Even if you didn’t accomplish all the things you set out to do, you deserve a moment to just rest and breathe. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen folk lose vacation days at the end of the year that they are rightfully owed for the work they have done. We all struggle with rest and often feel guilt when we do stop to relax, but only because society has not made it a priority. The body and mind are not invincible, and they require adequate rest for one to be able to accomplish goals and tasks.

So at the end of the year, even if it is only a day, take some time out to do nothing or something you have been putting off. Read a book, start a garden, buy new curtains—do something for yourself and make sure that you are putting yourself first for a change.

George M. Johnson is a journalist and activist.

He has written for Entertainment Tonight, Ebony, TheGrio, TeenVogue, NBC News, and several other major publications. Follow him on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram @iamgmjohnson.

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y r t

e o P Poetry

Bed Making After the ER

if I hold this threadbare sheet just right let hot breeze blow through my open window and become noon light I can almost feel the red locker room snap of a twisted towel on my hock almost see the nude boy shock I cast

if I tuck hospital corners tight I can almost believe there really is no wrinkle no stain on the cover my hand we all fold into cotton

—Robert Carr

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Robert Carr is the author of “Amaranth,” a chapbook published in 2016 by Indolent Books. His poetry has appeared in the Bellevue Literary Review, Kettle Blue Review, New Verse News, Radius Literary Magazine, Pretty Owl Poetry, The Good Men Project, and other publications. He lives with his husband Stephen in Malden, Massachusetts, and serves as an associate poetry editor for Indolent Books. He is also Deputy Director for the Bureau of Infectious Disease and Laboratory Sciences with the Massachusetts Department of Public Health. Poetry, book reviews, and upcoming events can be found at robertcarr.org.

A&U • DECEMBER 2017

Justin B. Terry-Smith, MPH, has been fighting the good fight since 1999. He’s garnered recognition and awards for his work, but he’s more concerned about looking for new ways to transform society for the better than resting on his laurels. He started up in gay rights and HIV activism in 2005, published an HIV-themed children’s book, I Have A Secret (Creative House Press) in 2011, and created his own award-winning video blog called, “Justin’s HIV Journal”: justinshivjournal. blogspot.com. Presently, he is working toward his doctorate in public health. Visit his main Web site at www.justinbsmith.com. He welcomes your questions at justinterrysmith@gmail.com.

“I’m sorry.”

When someone says they are sorry I have HIV, I think, “Did we fuck or something?” Why are they sorry? Well, first think about it. They are sorry that you were infected, which is all well and good I suppose. But then take this opportunity to educate to say, “Don’t be sorry for me, but be strong with me.” A lot of people with this reaction aren’t really educated on what it means to live with HIV. Ask them if they know what the term “undetectable” means or what “PrEP” is. If they do not know, educate them.

“You have HIV—thanks for telling me.”

Most online MSM dating apps, such as Grindr, come with an option in the profile to put what your HIV status is. So, if they ask me, it tells me that the other person didn’t read my profile and didn’t really care to. All they did was look at my picture and tried to hook up with me. I find that being upfront with my status also helps either facilitate discussion around sexual parameters, and/or it weeds out persons that I probably would not like to be sexual with or vice versa, which of course is fine by me.

“Are you trying to spread your disease, or something?”

The response (at least the one that I use) is, “No, I’m not.” I wouldn’t wish

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the medical or doctor appointments and medication expenses on anyone. Having HIV is not easy; one can get used to the pills, appointments, and expenses but why would anyone want that? I myself am undetectable and many people do not know what undetectable is and don’t know that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have themselves said that the risk of someone that has a sustained, undetectable viral load transmitting HIV is none. Also there are several more STI besides HIV and I wouldn’t want to spread any of them.

Plus, I wouldn’t want to risk my body to co-infection and then infect someone with two sexually transmitted infections at the same time, for example.

“Your partner has HIV, too?”

Now there is one thing about being open about your status online but another thing when someone asks about your partner’s or spouse’s HIV status. This is nobody’s business. My response to this question would be to say, “This is really too personal to tell you and really it’s his business to tell.”

“If you’re partnered/married, why are you on here?”

People are on social dating apps to hook up, date, or just to talk to others in the area to hopefully build a network of friends.

But, let’s address this question. We have to understand that there are different types of relationships and not everyone practices monogamy. If you see someone is talking to you who is partnered/married and you do not agree with it, just say, “I’m not interested in hooking up with a partnered/ married person” and move on. Also, on the flipside, the person who is partnered/married has to understand that some people are

not interested in partnered/married people.

“I’m not going on PrEP so sorry it’s condoms or we are not fucking.”

Granted there are other STIs we all have to watch for, especially individuals on PrEP who do not use condoms, but we should support all who are empowered to protect themselves. We must consider that there will be individuals who will only strictly want to use condoms and individuals who do not and are on PrEP. I, for one, know there is a different feeling when having sex with and without a condom.

But, besides that, we simply have to accept that some people only use PrEP and some prefer condoms. My response to this would be, “Ohh okay well good luck” or “I could use condoms as well.”

“I can’t hook up with you. I’m negative and I plan on staying that way.”

Whenever I encounter this attitude, I usually respond with saying, “I hope you do as well.” I personally would never “spread” my virus to anyone. When you are upfront with your HIV status you may encounter this. Some people will refuse to have sex with you whether they are on PrEP or use condoms. But the response I have is used to support them in staying negative. You can also use this opportunity to educate them on HIV prophylaxis.

People will try to shame you because of your HIV status, but do not let them. Take the high road and do not go down the path of negativity. The more negative energy you put into your life, the more negative outputs you will have. Granted you can respond to any of the seven things any way you want— turning the other cheek, blocking and not responding at all work just as well. ◊ A&U • DECEMBER 2017

photo by Don Harris © Don Harris Photographics, LLC. all rights reserved

L

anguage matters. It can promote prejudice and misinformation; it shapes our thinking about who and what has value in this world. Logging into a dating/hook-up app, like Grindr, is no excuse to log off of your brain or heart.

Typos are excusable—stigma is not!

So here are seven things that get the “thumbs down” emoji in these virtual communications.

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human instamatic Martin Wong Created Eclectic, Gritty, Mythic Queer Art

by Hank Trout

W

alking through the exhibit “Martin Wong: Human Instamatic” at the Berkeley Art Museum and Pacific Film Archive, I often felt transported to the Lower East Side of New York City some thirty years ago: crumbling tenements, rubble-blocked streets, dangerous-looking street toughs.

At other times, the work whisked me to a mythical fantasy Chinatown or locked me in a dark prison cell. I laughed at some of the paintings—or should I say, along with some of the paintings—but not nearly as often as I was moved to tears by others. Such is the power and the range of Wong’s mesmerizing paintings.

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Born in 1946 in Portland, Oregon, Martin Wong grew up in San Francisco’s Chinatown. He earned a BA in ceramics at Humboldt State College in 1968. He moved to Eureka, California, where he worked as a street artist, drawing quicksketch portraits—hence his self-moniker, “Human Instamatic.” Soon, he created set designs for the radical queer theatrical companies Angels of Light and the outrageous, (in)famous Cockettes. At age thirty he decided to become a painter and embarked upon self-education, studying technical painting manuals. His early paintings show the influence of the “Lowbrow Movement” in California and

underground comics art, but he soon transcended both.

In 1978 Wong moved to New York City, landing at the gritty Meyer’s Hotel. Knowing no one in the city, feeling extremely alone and isolated, he developed an affinity for the deaf, leading to his learning and using ASL signs in many of his paintings and earning him a commission from the city to create traffic signs in ASL. He first exhibited his paintings at gallery NO El Rio. At the opening, he met Miguel (“Mikey”) Piñero, the Puerto Rican poet and writer of the award-winning play Short Eyes. He and Piñero began collaborating; Wong painted several portraits of Piñero

A&U • DECEMBER 2017

A&U Gallery

Top: Penitentiary Fox, 1988, acrylic on canvas, 64 by 56 inches. Collection of Melva Bucksbaum and Raymond Learsy Facing page: The Annunciation According to Mikey Piñero (Cupcake and Paco), 1984, acrylic on canvas, 48 by 72 inches. Syracuse University Art Collection

DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

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[see Miguel Piñero (1990)] and incorporated Piñero’s poetry into his paintings, reminiscent of traditional Chinese artists’ combining of images and words, but in a style that is purely his.

Through Piñero, Wong met and came to identify with African-Americans and Latinos who populated the bohemian Lower East Side. They not only populate his paintings but also influenced his appearance. Self Portrait (1993) is a complex image: Wong with Fu Manchu mustache, a cowboy shirt decorated with Chinese dragons, a cowboy hat with a thorny-crowned Christ on its crown, all haloed in gold with a multitude of dragon faces sneering in the background. Disparate cultures that might have clashed—Puerto Rican, Chinese, Christian—meld instead. Other paintings feature Latino and African American skateboarders, motorcyclists, and street thugs.

Wong became familiar through Piñero with jails and prison cells. Reckless depicts

a young Latino man lying in his prison cell bed, his torso and feet exposed, his groin and hands covered by the bedsheet (is he “recklessly” pleasuring himself?). The flesh tones of the prisoner’s body stand out against the bleak black-graywhite of the prison cell. The Annunciation According to Mikey Piñero (Cupcake and Paco), depicts two prisoners in a cell, Cupcake about to exit the cell, Paco kneeling on one knee before him—proposing? or perhaps blessing Cupcake? Most haunting is the almost-notthere man beyond the cell’s bars, perhaps a guard waiting to escort Cupcake—to freedom or to something else? As in Reckless, Wong renders the two men in warm brown tones, starkly contrasted with the

Top: Self-Portrait, 1993, acrylic on canvas, 40 inches (diameter) Left: Big Heat, 1988, synthetic polymer paint on canvas, 60 by 48 inches.

Collection of the Whitney Museum of American Art, New York, purchased with funds from the Painting and Sculpture Committee stark palate of the jail cell, emphasizing their humanity.

For this viewer, the most solemnly affecting of Wong’s prison paintings is the elegiac Penitentiary Fox, painted after Piñero’s death from cirrhosis in 1988. In the foreground at the bottom is a loving portrait of Piñero, his eyes closed in death, “Mikey Piñero 1946–1988” written above his head, turning the painting into a kind of headstone for the poet. Behind Piñero, we see the prison gate, guards walking along the top of the prison wall, in the towers that frame the prison gate. Beyond, we see, in what appears to be a hole ripped in the prison wall as if it were paper, seven dark-skinned inmates and two prison guards. Each figure is named, as the painting reads, “Based on Reminiscences by James Rivera.” Still further behind these inmates and guards, we see a three-tiered cell block, inmates milling about, chatting, leaning on the cell block railings, mopping the floor. I must admit, Penitentiary Fox made my eyes water. It’s difficult to describe the emotions stirred by the contrast between the gentle portrait of Piñero in the foreground, rendered with such obvious, palpable love, and the stark prison behind him. I cried for Piñero, for the inmates.

Another of Wong’s frequent subjects is

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A&U • DECEMBER 2017

Positively Fearless booth at Atlanta Black Pride 2017

firemen. Fascinated by firemen ever since his parents took a photo of him at age six sitting atop a San Francisco fire truck, childhood fascination evolved into erotic fetish in adult life. Wong kept a NYFD uniform in his apartment and often asked friends to don it and model for him. Fireman, however, from 1990, appears to be a self-portrait of Wong in NYFD uniform; the technique anticipates Self Portrait (1993).

Big Heat depicts a tall dilapidated tenement; in the foreground two uniformed firemen embrace and kiss. My Fire Guy lovingly depicts a Latino fireman lying abed, fully uniformed, asleep, cuddling a puppy.

My favorite of the fireman paintings is I Really Like the Way Firemen Smell, a small, funny black and gray canvas that depicts just the silhouette of a fireman in his hat in the lower foreground. Written around the silhouette, I really like the way firemen smell when they get off work. It’s like hickory smoked rubber and B.O. After he showers and throws on the Old Spice, I always lose interest. He thinks I’m only into his uniform. In reality, I’m only into him for the smell. One has to admire an artist who can make light of his own fetishes!

DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

The Lower East Side became not only Wong’s home but also his most frequent subject. Using a palette reminiscent of his work in ceramics—earthy reds, ochers, umbers, burnt sienna—Wong painted the tenements with great affection, each brick painted in exacting detail, with almost photographic realism. Of the many tenement building paintings, for me the most exquisite is Rapture (1988). The painting is a triptych, a tenement wall contained in three oval wooden frames, each brick rendered in almost supernatural detail. The painting could easily portray three saints as well as a brick wall, it achieves that level of somber religiosity.

Diagnosed with HIV in 1994, Wong returned to San Francisco to live with his parents. Despite failing health, he continued to paint, including brightly colored fantasies of Chinatown’s buildings and famous New Year’s Parade. Toward the end of his life, he turned his eye instead to the cacti and succulents in his mother’s garden, planted in ceramic pots he had made. Sadly beautiful in their stark, somber black-and-white palette, and coming as they do at the end of Wong’s career,

Reckless, 1991, acrylic on canvas, 34 by 48 inches. Courtesy of the Estate and P.P.O.W., New York they stand alone in glaring contrast to the vibrant, colorful, life-affirming paintings that preceded. The word “elegiac” comes to mind again. I never would have guessed that a still-life painting of a cactus could move me to tears, but….

Although the HAART “cocktails” became available in 1996, Wong was one of those unfortunates whom the cocktails failed. He died of AIDS-related complications in 1999. His legacy lives on at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Bronx Museum of Art, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, and of course BAMPFA. And now, in this writer’s heart as well.

“Martin Wong : Human Instamatic” runs through December 10, 2017, at the Berkeley Art Museum and Pacific Film Archive, 2155 Center Street, Berkeley CA 94720; (510) 642-0808; www.bampfa.org.

The exhibit was organized by the Bronx Museum of the Arts; www.bronxmuseum.org.

Hank Trout is an Editor at Large for A&U.

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A L i fe

lived

in

the

Fast Lane B u t Co r y Fr e d e r i c k S l o w s D o w n t o Ta k e I n the View

by John Francis Leonard

Photos by Richard Gasparro

C

ory Frederick is a man rich in experience. He’s done, seen, and overcome much in his life and seems to have arrived at a place, at forty, where he’s comfortable in his own skin.

That’s no mean feat for a gay man of his generation, even one as blessed with looks and talent as Cory is. He’s a respected journalist and columnist, writing about issues that affect us all. Whether it be HIV, addiction, self-esteem or subjects more political like the misogyny of the new administration, he brings a fresh perspective and a new voice to many subjects. He talks about what needs to be talked about, and often isn’t. He’s done, and continues to take on, mainstream acting and modeling work with featured roles in major series and campaigns. And there’s another facet to Cory, one that he also brings a sex positive message to. Working under the name Rex Cameron, he stars in gay adult films for many major studios. For an openly HIV-positive man of forty years old, that’s an achievement.

Corey grew up in a small, Midwestern town. He attended Northwest Missouri State for undergraduate and MidAmerica Nazarene University for his master’s. He worked for years as a teacher and then decided he needed a change—wanted something new. Not happy with his life, he decided to move to L.A. to pursue a career in acting and modeling, which he did with much success with featured roles in shows such as Modern Family, Empire, and Chi-

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cago PD. He’s been featured in modeling campaigns for companies like Joe’s Jeans and Andrew Christian.

Along the way, however, lay two major struggles—one with drug addiction, the second with his HIV diagnosis. He says of the time, “There was an intensity to Hollywood and I totally lost myself to that.” There’s a fast lane in Hollywood that many good looking young men go down and it’s powered by sex, drugs, money, and celebrity. He finally hit rock bottom after a days-long coke binge in Vegas holed up in a hotel suite with a major male star. He ended up getting help and getting sober and remains so today with the help of therapy and a new life in a new city.

Another thing happened along the way—he acquired HIV. Looking back on it now, Cory says “I totally felt that it couldn’t happen to me, even though I was doing all of these reckless things….I look back on it now and can’t imagine what I was thinking.” He had been involved in a relationship, not boyfriends exactly, more of a sexual relationship.

Together they were reckless, taking a lot of risks with unsafe sex while doing a lot of

drugs. It was a perfect storm and a story familiar to many of us who are HIV-positive. Cory was diagnosed in 2013 at the age of thirty-six.

The tough times didn’t end with that initial diagnosis, however. At this point Cory was working a 9-to-5 corporate job with a conservative firm. His employee group plan didn’t cover the life-saving yet prohibitively expensive HIV medications that he would now need to take daily. He A&U • DECEMBER 2017

finally was forced to go directly to the pharmaceutical company for free medication.

It was during this period that he began writing about HIV for some national publications. In a piece about Ryan White for the Huffington Post, he outed himself as positive. Soon after, he was asked to step down by his firm. It didn’t silence Cory. He explains, “My voice, and my being open, gives people, especially youth, a better understanding of what reality is when it comes to HIV. But also, when it comes to drug use and [unsafe] sex and their connection to HIV.” It’s in this voice and in this need to inform and help others that he seems to draw the greatest strength.

When he wrote his first article, he was modeling for DNA magazine, among others. He decided to take a break when he received his diagnosis and approached DNA about writing a piece about HIV. He spent three long months writing, wanting to get that story just right. “I wanted every piece to be perfect,” he states emphatically.

He wanted to provide a very real account of just what it was like to receive that news.

He was blown away by the incredible response. “I never thought I’d be doing it [writing] as a full-time career years later,” he conveys with wonder. That piece set a pattern for a lot of his future work. He would talk about issues both personal to him and many others. Whether it be surviving childhood sexual abuse or adult sexual assault, Cory gave voice to the experiences of many.

Before we talk about his career in the adult industry, I ask Cory his thoughts on the way gay men objectify and sexualize each other and its links to HIV transmission. He is quick to point out that those experiences, while common in our community, are hardly unique to them. “Ask any woman about being objectified, “ he insists. Cory is an extremely attractive man working in gay porn—a business that glorifies those who are hyper-masculine, with great faces and perfectly muscled bodies, not unlike what most of mainstream gay culture has overwhelmingly become. But Cory is incredibly unaffected and almost guileless in his own way. He says he’s often felt like he’s nothing all that special.

He takes advantage of his looks, but isn’t consumed by them.

The adult films are a fairly new development. Living in L.A., he’d had offers before but had never pursued them. Finding himself out of a full time job led him to give it a second look but on his own terms and as an actor living with HIV. He said to himself, “How do most gay young learn about sex?” The answer was gay porn and DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

he saw it not only as work, but as another opportunity to educate. Despite barriers for positive actors in the industry, he has found featured work and much success with studios such as Hothouse and Lucas Kazan. Ultimately, he enjoys the work and enjoys conveying a sex-positive message to the audience. He’s in control of his sexuality in an industry that can, at times, be exploitive. Writing as Rex Cameron, his alter ego, he says of the experience, “Fulfilling fantasies on the down low is more detrimental than most are willing to give credence to. I wanted to be a small part of changing that. If I can fulfill my fantasies then you can talk about yours without being vilified…”

A year ago, Cory folded up his tent and moved to Chicago. He’s happy to be out

of L.A. and in a city where he can pursue both his writing and mainstream acting roles when he can. He is also involved in his community. He’s currently in training with the organization The Center on Halstead to provide support to vulnerable LGBT individuals in Chicago like homeless youth and the elderly as well as lending his time and name to various fundraising efforts for the center and other organizations. It gives him a better feeling of home than L.A. did and is a place where he can see settling down in a relationship and starting a family. So far in life he’s made quick work of going for what he wants, so I don’t doubt for a second he’ll do the same this time.

John Francis Leonard writes the Bright Lights, Small City column for A&U.

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MAMA RUTH A Childhood Friend of President Bill Clinton, Ruth Coker Burks Was Tapped by a Higher Power for a Vital Mission

by Dann Dulin photos by Brian Chilson

R

uth Coker Burks had forty children, all of them boys. Well, I’ll explain.

Let’s travel back to 1984, when an AIDS diagnosis was considered a death sentence. Ruth, now fifty-seven and a grandmother of three, was twenty-five, divorced, and the mother of a small daughter, Allison. Her matriarchal journey took a new route when she visited a friend, who was battling cancer, at a hospital in Hot Springs, Arkansas, her hometown.

On her way to the room, she noticed a patient’s door draped with a red bag. She was curious but was in a hurry to see her friend. The next day, she passed the door again, observing nurses draw straws to see who would go in. Ruth had an idea what was going on.

Due to curiosity or chosen by a higher power, as she believes today, Ruth surreptitiously entered. She saw an emaciated young man. Once they started chatting, he asked for his mother.

When she exited the room, the nurses squealed, “You didn’t go into that room, did you?!” She responded, “Yes. He wants to see his mother.” Amused, the nurses replied, “Honey, his mother’s not coming. He’s been here six weeks and nobody’s coming. Nobody’s been here and nobody’s coming.”

Ruth didn’t accept their answer. Persistence led her to track down the phone number of the man’s mom. When Ruth phoned, the mother hung up. Ruth called back and warned, “If you hang up on me

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again, I will put your son’s obituary in your hometown newspaper and I will list his cause of death.” She had the woman’s attention.

Spewing fire and brimstone, the woman grumbled that her son was a sinner and that in her eyes he was already dead.

She added that she was not going to claim the body.

Ruth felt sad and defeated. What would she tell the woman’s son? As soon as she entered his room, he said, “Oh, mama, I knew you’d come.” He lifted his head.

Ruth grasped his hand and retorted, “I’m here, honey. I’m here.”

It was probably the first time he had ever been touched with ungloved human hands since he had been in the hospital.

Ruth stayed with the man thirteen hours and was with him when he took his final breath. Why wasn’t she afraid? Ruth simply says, “I never thought about it.”

Ruth called the man’s mother again to see if she wanted his body. She didn’t.

Ruth had the body taken to a funeral home and she paid for the cremation. When the ashes were delivered to her in a cardboard box, she emptied the man’s ashes into a cracked cookie jar that she got at a friend’s pottery shop. She then went to Files Cemetery, where her family has been buried since the 1880s, dug a hole in her father’s grave, placed the urn into the hole, and covered it with dirt. She prayed over the grave. Ruth knew her father would appreciate what she did. She buried about

fifty souls this way. “I was burying people my age, but they were my children.” (In all, through the years, Ruth administered care to over a thousand people.)

The next few years, this scene would play out again and again, as Ruth became the caregiver to those dying of AIDS-related causes. Even Ruth’s little daughter would accompany her to the cemetery and help dig a grave alongside Ruth. No priest or preacher would acquiesce to officiate. Ruth buried nearly fifty men like this, those who died alone, whose family disowned them. Sometimes, making a last ditch effort to contact the families, they would cuss her out or call her the devil.

“Word went around that there was this wacko woman in Hot Springs who wasn’t afraid,” Ruth exclaims about others’ perceptions of her. She’d get referrals from hospitals in other cities to care for these men. Ultimately, she became more involved and would drive them to their doctor’s appointments, to pick up their meds, and even network and rally to help them receive financial support as well.

Their expenses sometimes were covered by private donations she received, and sometimes she used her savings. Eventually, gay clubs began fundraising to help her cause. One of those clubs was Discovery, located in Little Rock, and on Saturday night, the drag queens who worked there would put on shows to raise money. In 1988, the owner, Norman Jones, founded the nonprofit, Helping People With AIDS, A&U • DECEMBER 2017

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fifty-five pounds.)

According to Ruth, her patients lived two years longer than the national average, and the NIH (National Institutes of Health) and CDC would send her patients.

They couldn’t understand what she was doing. Her “secret”? Love and touch.

Ruth Coker Burks’s response at the genesis of the AIDS crisis was undeniably valiant and plucky—most certainly trailblazing. She approached her mission with vigor, tenacity, and compassion, a lone warrior in battle, who besides playing mother was a nurse, priest, friend, consultant, gravedigger, masseuse, and chauffer.

Today Ruth is as vibrant as ever, still lending her support to those affected by the epidemic, despite suffering a stroke several years ago and recently experiencing blood clots in her lungs. On December 1, she is being presented with the Thom Weyand Unsung Hero Award by the National AIDS Memorial Grove in San Francisco.

During one of President Bill Clinton’s terms, Ruth served as a White House consultant on AIDS education. She moved to Florida where she was a funeral director for a few years, and then returned to Arkansas and settled in Rogers to be closer to her daughter and grandchildren. with which Ruth was strongly affiliated. elephant….” Ruth replied, “We’ll fix In 2014, Dave Isay, who founded StoCaring for these men with opportuthat!” And in one of her many memory ryCorps interviewed Ruth and it was aired nistic infections was an infernal abyss for boxes there’s a photograph of them both on NPR. In the interview she spoke about Ruth, as she witnessed their demise, one proudly straddling the elephant. Ruth her yearning to keep history alive at Files by one. She even helped to Cemetery, and of the turfill out their death certifimoil people went through cates, since their families at the beginning of the had abandoned them. “We’d Her advice on what needs to be done today epidemic, when it was then sit there by the bed, have known as GRID (gay-repizza, and fill it out.” Ruth 1) GET TESTED! lated immune deficiency), would also become their expressing her desire to confidant, confessor, and 2) The young people need to take to heart and understand that a erect a memorial to honor mood-lifter, helping them out generation of brave men and women died so that they could live. “her boys.” Travis Dubreuil, of isolation and depression. who heard the broadcast One time, Ruth recalls, 3) We need to remember and take care of the Long Term Survivors. They and lives in New York, the mother of one of her are the forgotten ones in this pandemic. We need to find them and help them decided to create a GoFund“boys” called to ask, “How get what they need.

Me campaign to help Ruth’s long before he dies? He’s dream come true. Funds are ruined our lives and we 4) Educate yourself and learn to be your own Sexpert! There’s no reason currently being raised to not need to get on with ours. to be shy. Take advantage of the Internet. Men, learn how to wear a condom only purchase a monument, We don’t want people to (https://vimeo.com/157056563); Women, condoms are available for you too but renovate the dilapidated know he has AIDS.” (http://www.fc2femalecondom.com); Find out about the prevention drug cemetery, as well.

Another patient, Billy, PrEP. Sex is supposed to be fun.

Ruth’s birth name is a drag performer who Frances Ruth Coker Burks, was in his early twenties, 5) Life is short. Live a remarkable life. Have adventures. Be outrageous. after her paternal grandwas in despair one day mother. Once her story gets after Ruth drove him to turned into a film, Ruth said an appointment in Little she could see Amy Schumer Rock. She joyrided around playing her. “I feel that she has the moxie to lift his spirits. They passed the zoo sports a top, skirt, and heels, and Billy to pull it off. She has a sense of humor where someone was riding an elephant. just beams. (Eventually, a couple of weeks which you have to have if you’re going to do He softly uttered, “I’ve never ridden an before he died, he had withered away to what I did.” Emma Stone, too, she adds.

RUTH’S RECIPE

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Dann Dulin: Out of all the misery and horror that you experienced, what one positive thing came out of it for you?

Ruth Coker Burks: I witnessed pure strength and courage. I witnessed and felt pure love. I saw faith.

the superintendent of their school district suspended because he had heard that someone in the family had AIDS. This was in 2014! I had been promised the job but hadn’t accepted it yet. When I went to fill out my paperwork I was told, “The job is no longer available.” I was blackballed from all of the funeral homes and cemeteries in my area. I loved my job and I was very good at it. It broke my heart.

How did you deal with the sadness?

I’d go fishing. At times I did feel like crying, but I held up for them.

Tell me, what are your plans for Files Cemetery?

We’re raising money to make the cemetery into a beautiful garden, a place to meditate and contemplate. It has become a pilgrimage site where people from all around the country go to pay their respects. I had a landscape architect contact me and offer to design the renovation and make it something that the men would be proud of. Any other money raised will be used to buy plants, statues, and benches to beautify it.

Where did you get the guts to care for these sick, dying people, at a time when many thought that AIDS could be easily communicable?

From God. Being right in the trenches from the onset of the epidemic, what surprises you the most about the current state of affairs about this disease?

That we are right back where we started from, except it isn’t the death sentence it once was. The young people aren’t getting the education that they desperately need.

The older generation is still suffering in silence. Many haven’t had relationships in over thirty years. They have had so much loss in their lives they can’t take anymore.

Then there are the long-term survivors who need our help in so many ways.

What did you learn about yourself?

I learned that I had more strength than I ever thought I had. I also realized that I was brave for my guys, and that stress will wreck your body. It catches up with you sooner than later.

What do you think happens after we die?

We all have different perceptions about the afterlife. I always tried to give my guys back what they believed. People always ask me about my guys and I tell them that they all got right with their God before they died. I never apostatized. For me, I hope to go to Heaven, rest for a while by the beach, with all of my guys and have a few cocktails, until I get another assignment.

What made you reach out? Where did this empathy come from?

How could I not?! I feel people’s sufferDECEMBER 2017 • A&U

ing, animals too. Sometimes it is hard to not reach out to everyone and to mind my own business. I had a rough childhood.

My mom had TB and was in the hospital for a long time. My daddy took care of me during that time until he died. I was five.

My mother wasn’t equipped to be a mother, so I was on my own from an early age.

I learned to just treat people like I wished someone had treated me.

What was the number one thing that pissed you off during the time you cared for your “boys”?

The [lack of ] response from the churches and the government. I know for a fact that the clergy all said in their sermons to love one another, to take care of the sick and the needy, and to help those who are less fortunate. There was the perfect opportunity to put all of those teachings to action with AIDS…but the churches were the first to slam their doors shut.

Unfortunately, stigma still surfaces today.

How do we rail against it?

I was denied a job that was specifically designed for me a couple of years ago because I went on TV and advocated for three elementary-age, disabled, foster children who

Lovely! What kind of garden do you envision?

I want to plant old-style flowers and shrubs that don’t need much watering. The flowers will be jonquils, peonies, camellias, gardenias, and forsythias. You know, the kind that would have been in your grandmother’s yard. These plants I want to flower all year round, so no one will feel lonesome and unloved.

What’s your concept of the monument?

A weeping angel. We will also have a plaque telling the story of what happened from my eyes and the story of my brave men who died, also listing their names.

After I’m gone, no one will take care of it so I want to set up some kind of trust to help keep the place intact.

Who are your heroes in the epidemic?

There are so many….My guys were heroes to me! They were brave beyond anything I had ever seen in my life. They would take their meds up until the day they died, [believing] there was a cure right around the next corner. Hope.

Ruth Coker Burks is available for speaking engagements. To book her, please contact Toni Y. Long at tlong@tyllaw.com.

Dann Dulin is a Senior Editor of A&U.

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Love

Theme Is Always the

Grammy-nominated R&B singer Ledisi embarks on a new calling—HIV advocacy

by Candace Y.A. Montague Photos by Juco

S

ince 2000, steadfast fans have been indulging in the neo-soul tunes of Ledisi. They buy her CDs and download her songs. They line up to see her perform. This fall Ledisi has been co-headlining “The Rebel, The Soul & The Saint” tour with gospel artist and producer Kirk Franklin.

Starting in her old stomping grounds of

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Oakland, California, and ending in Richmond, Virginia this tour runs fast and covers a lot of ground. While she’s serenading and inspiring the masses with her soulful voice Ledisi is also using her time on the road to be of service. She has recently taken on a new role as an advocate for HIV education. The story comes together in pieces.

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Intro “I wanna get to know you How can I get to know you I wanna get to know you Know you better” —“Get to Know You,” Lost and Found album, 2011 Ledisi (pronounced led-ee-see) Anibade Young was born in New Orleans with a birthright for music. Her mother, Nyra Dynese, and her father, Larry Sanders, were both singers. Her stepfather, Joseph Pierce III, was a drummer in a band.

During her adolescent years, the shy teen moved with her family to Oakland, California where her singing skills bloomed.

Being surrounded by a full range of musical genres in her life helped shape the singer’s thumbprint. “Growing and being raised in New Orleans and Oakland was definitely entertaining. The combination was really great. In New Orleans you have music from zydeco and Fats Domino. I would listen to soul, country, Earth, Wind & Fire, Rufus and Chaka [Khan]. I had aunts listening to Mahalia Jackson. It was just an eclectic collection of music to listen to. And then in Oakland where I came up with the Hawkins family I learned more about gospel music and classical music. All kinds of music. The combination was so enlightening. Having parents that understood my love for music and supported me, that made a big difference with how I listen to music and how I support music meaning my philanthropy work as well.”

If Ledisi had an official second title it might be philanthropist. Throughout her music career she has found ways to give back to others. During her formative years, Ledisi participated in school music programs that helped shape her love for the arts. When she grew up she found a way to give back to her little self through music education. Ledisi was hand-picked by former First Lady Michelle Obama to be an ambassador for the Turnaround Arts program sponsored by the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. Turnaround Arts is an educational program that brings arts education to seventy-three low-performing elementary and middle schools across

“I

the country. Artists and performers such as Elton John, Kerry Washington, Dave Matthews, YoYo Ma, Esperanza Spalding and Russell Simmons donate their talents to this program. “Music education is really important for me. It helped me growing up. Every program I was involved in and every scholarship I got was because of donations.” Ledisi was asked to perform at the White House during the Obama administration multiple times. It’s no surprise that she was selected. She proudly beamed, “Other artists donated their time.

I was appointed by her. It was an honor.”

Verse “I ain’t worried ’bout the hate (uh-uh) Last year was a good year for your girl I’ve been keeping up with the pace So don’t be coming with the bull Had a good year, now you starting to see my face Ain’t worried ’bout the hate” —“High,” Let Love Rule album, 2017 Music for Ledisi is a language in which she is undoubtedly fluent. Her songs reflect on themes like struggle, growth, change, pain, love, passion, and resurrection. Her first album, Soul Singer, came into rotation in 2000.

Songs like “Take Time” and “You Are My Friend” piped through the speakers with positive messages over a grown and sexy groove.

Her latest release, Let Love Rule, does not deviate from the formula that has brought her so much success over the years. Her songs continue to uplift and encourage listeners.

What inspired her album this year? Ledisi explained how the deficit of love spurred her to write the music. “I was inspired by being a human being and having a human experience outside of music. Let love rule.

I was basically upset with how things are going. Some of our acts are so selfish.

There’s no compassion or empathy. We need to get those things back and it requires love. Love is always the theme. Hate exists because we need love. Our actions should be ruled by love.”

Ledisi’s music comes from experience. She has lived through some things.

She has borne witness to others. Music is her therapy. The lyrics are a testimony to survival. Her wisdom flows through

was Inspired

by being a human being and having a human experience outside of music.

”

Let love rule.

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Chorus “There is a path and it is written for you Take your time to find the truth What do you have to lose?

It’s time for you to choose No one else can do it for you” —“Raise Up,” Pieces of Me album, 2011

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A&U • DECEMBER 2017

photo by Sean Black

each word. Her early recordings such as “Papa Loved to Love Me,” an uncomfortable session about a father raping his daughter, and “Coffee,” a spoken-word piece about domestic abuse, shows that she won’t back down from issues no matter how close they hit home. “I have been molested. Probably not as heavy as most people that I know that have been molested. I survived it. We got through that. I had to go to counseling and get help for that. ‘Papa Loved to Love Me’ was a poem that turned into a song years ago. I’m glad I wrote it. But I don’t want people to think that just because I wrote those songs that I live there. I got out of it and it made me stronger. Luckily I have the outlet of music to get out of it. Some people don’t have that luxury.”

Ledisi explained that she doesn’t think that people should live in that place of pain.

“I think people need to acknowledge it. Say it out loud. And don’t be ashamed of it. Say it happened but don’t live in it. That goes for any kind of abuse. Whether it’s domestic or sexual or any kind of abuse. Acknowledge that it happened but don’t live there.”

disi’s contribution to the performances. “For twenty-seven years I’ve been producing DIVAS Simply Singing!, the longest consecutive-running musical AIDS benefit concert in the country and for at least two of those concerts we have experienced the brilliance, the giving heart, the voice that is Ledisi. I thank her for her compassion and simply daring to care about those infected and affected by HIV/AIDS.” An act of fate this year brought Ledisi in the same room at an event in Arizona with Phill Wilson [A&U, February 2014], President and Chief Executive Officer of the Black AIDS Institute. While listening in the audience When the spotlight is Black AIDS Institute Board Chair she absorbed stats and turned off you can see the Grazell R. Howard, Phill Wilson anecdotes about the reality audience that you’ve been and Ledisi at the 2017 Heroes in of HIV today from various performing for clearly. Like the Struggle speakers. Mr. Wilson many people Ledisi affirms spoke about HIV in the that she has been unknowBlack community. Ledisi ingly surrounded by people living with HIV really listened. She learned that in 2015, for a long time. Many of them concealed 4,524 African American women were their status so she was unaware of their diagnosed with HIV. That’s about sixty-two health issues. She adds that it comes as a percent of the women who are diagnosed. shock when she finds out their status later She learned about PrEP, a pill that actually on. “I’ve known many people with HIV. A prevents HIV infections, and the struggle lot of them were my mentors that helped to educate Black women about the drug. me become more vocal and not be shy. I Ledisi learned that her work in philanthrohave had friends who have hidden it. They py was far from over. would rather die than tell someone. I never When the event was over Ledisi knew they had the disease until after they marched straight to Mr. Wilson after he were gone. It’s strange. And then when you spoke to extend her services. Mr. Wilson find out you’re like ‘Whoa! I didn’t know.’” recalls the passion he saw in her face from Another significant detail that served as the moment she spoke. “She came up to a wake-up call were the effects of HIV on me and she said ‘I need to get involved black women. “I didn’t know how heavy it because many of the things you menwas for black women. That’s a new thing tioned in your talk I didn’t know about. to me. That has blown me away. That part And I assume that many of the women bothers me.” that follow me and many of my friends Ledisi’s first flash of celebrity AIDS don’t know about it either. I need to step advocacy came in 2007. Ledisi was tapped up. I need to do my part to fight this in by the legendary Sheryl Lee Ralph [A&U, our community.’” The conversation led August 2015] to join her on stage for her to dinner a few weeks later where Ledisi signature AIDS fundraiser DIVAS Simply reiterated her desire to help fight HIV in Singing! This evening of song and enterthe Black community. “It is not unusual to tainment brings together artists that are meet someone who wants to get involved legendary in their own rite. Ledisi had and then they’re off to their next thing and earned her place in this assemblage. She then life happens and nothing comes of it. joined Ms Ralph for a second time with But that didn’t happen with her. We talked DIVAS in 2010. Ms. Ralph raves about Leabout Heroes In the Struggle [see this

issue], where we induct people into the HIV hall of fame. This year we decided to honor only women. We had a remarkable group of women that we inducted. We were thinking about what would be an appropriate tribute for them. Jussie Smollett, who was the host and the event chair, said I think a musical tribute from Ledisi would be perfect,” Mr. Wilson recalls. Ledisi obliged and brought the house down with her amazing performance.

She wasn’t done yet. The drive continued as Ledisi met with Mr. Wilson again to determine what else she could do. “You kinda pinch yourself when you have someone of her stature say they want to be involved and someone as creative as she is. She has ideas,” says Mr. Wilson. For starters she would offer VIP packages that include special seating at her show and a chance to come backstage and meet her and Kirk Franklin. AIDS service organizations can offer this package to their clients as an incentive. She would also do a tour alongside her musical one. With the help of the Black AIDS Institute, Ledisi will do speaking engagements and visit select community events to encourage people to get tested. On top of all that, she will do a public service announcement about HIV. Her indefatigable spirit impressed Mr. Wilson. “We are just trying to keep up with her. She’s going to twenty-seven cities in six weeks. In some cases she’s in a city one morning and out that night.

It’s a lot to take on. HIV and AIDS is an issue that continues to devastate the black community. It particularly impacts black women. This is a great thing for her to take on,” says Mr. Wilson.

Needless to say Ledisi is pumped about being an ambassador for the Black AIDS Institute. “I can’t wait to get better at this. I’m here waiting to be of service. My part in life is to be of service. So what I leave behind was Ledisi was of service. She did her part. That’s so important. It makes me feel good.”

Outro “Listening, without speaking I think only when we really try to hear people can the process toward understanding them begin to take shape” “Understanding/I

Love You (Interlude),” featuring Soledad O’Brien, Let Love Rule album, 2017 Whether it’s on a record, on stage, in a PSA, or at a speaking engagement, you’re going to hear Ledisi’s voice for many years to come. She isn’t done making her mark.

Her art remains in demand and she plans to use it for good. A gallant spirit like hers just cannot be contained. She knows that it takes guts to make a statement and she welcomes the challenge in that. “It takes courage to speak out but if something is wrong you need to speak up about it. It’s about being real and protecting our race. And not just race meaning Black people and white people. I mean the human race. We all should be contributing to this world. So if something is wrong we all should be speaking up. We all should say this isn’t right. As an artist that’s our job. It’s our job to sing the songs that tell what’s going on in the world right now,” she exclaims.

She credits artists like the late Bob Marley for inspiring her to record her song “Shot Down,” an ode to the victims of gun violence. “Bob Marley has a way of telling you something without preaching. He tells the story and you feel good when you hear it but he wanted you to think about some things too. That’s the point of making music as an artist. Some people are silent about their activism. Some sneak it in. Some people are loud. I do it however I feel. And that song [“Shot Down”] is my feel-good protest. Yeah you feel good when you hear it but you better recognize what’s going on in this world.”

We can count on Ledisi to be authentic and benevolent to all who embrace her. Her compassion is awe-inspiring. Her philosophy is simple. “We are human. We’re not perfect. We all want the same things. We need to be loving. That’s what I want. That’s what I have to have in every aspect of my human experience. Let’s get back to that.”

A round of applause for Ledisi; the artist, the muse, and the advocate. BRAVA! For more information about Ledisi, visit: www.ledisi.com. For more information about the Black AIDS Institute, visit: www. blackaids.org. The 27th Annual DIVAS Simply Singing! is set for December 9 (see Lifelines, this issue).

Candace Y.A. Montague is an award-winning freelance journalist based in Washington, D.C. Her work has been featured in a number of print and online publications including The Washington Post and The Grio.com. Follow her on Twitter @urbanbushwoman9.

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A Strong

League of People

In a candid interview, The HIV League’s Daniel Szymczyk discusses the role of education in fighting HIV

Text & Photos by Alina Oswald

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owadays, when I chat with young individuals, I’m often amazed by their take on life, by their hope, desire and dedication to make the world a better place. I can’t recall if I was ever that hopeful when I was their age, but I believe that sometimes tackling old problems with fresh ideas might just help us find the solutions we’ve been looking for all along.

Daniel Szymczyk, founder and executive director of The HIV League, is such an inspiring and impressive young individual. He is the embodiment of what we need more of these days—hope, grit, dedication, determination, resilience, as well as a warm smile. Daniel Szymczyk also has a unique approach to fighting HIV—he strongly believes that education empowers people.

Hence, his organization, The HIV League, helps provide financial

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support to individuals living with HIV, in order for them to be able to get that education, get empowered, and achieve their goals.

He, himself, has been empowered by education and guided by mentors in his own life. Szymczyk digs into his pocket and produces a compass. As he shows it to me, he explains that one of his first mentors was his high school photography teacher. She gave him and a few other students compasses, as a symbolic award.

“It kind of grew as a symbol for me to always guide myself in the right direction ever since then. It used to be in my car all the time but now it just stays with me wherever I live. I keep it with me because it’s a reminder of [my teacher] as one of my first mentors, and [also of ] how much each one of my mentors’ guidance means to me.”

Szymczyk decided to focus on HIV-related issues and start a A&U • DECEMBER 2017

scholarship—the only national scholarship of its kind—for individuals living with HIV when he, himself, became comfortable living with the virus. As he tells the story, Szymczyk was diagnosed with HIV in the summer of 2013, right before his senior year in college.

The twenty-year-old was in New York City at the time, doing an internship.

“The initial reaction to HIV hits you really quickly. For me it was quite intense,” he recalls. In fact, it was so intense that he was in the ICU. “My blood cell counts were really low. My fever was high, 105-106F. I lost twenty to thirty pounds in the first three to four days, and about forty pounds in the first two weeks.” A few days after getting out of the hospital, flying back home to North Carolina, he had to wear a mask.

He continued to feel sick and weak during the first weeks of the new school year, but despite it all, he was determined to push through, and finish college. He graduated from Appalachian State University, in North Carolina, in part because of his resilience and willpower.

“My senior year was my recovery year,” Szymczyk comments, “because [HIV] really did a number on me.”

He further explains that in the South having HIV is still considered a death sentence. What individuals are taught and told is that, “basically, if you get HIV, you are dead.

[Therefore, receiving an HIV-positive diagnosis] can really do a number on you mentally,” he reiterates.

Szymczyk spent his recovery year working on improving his physical health. He took all sorts of physically challenging classes, like rock climbing, trying to push himself and build up his physical strength. He also worked on his mental strength. He came out about his HIV status immediately to only a few key individuals—his family and a few friends. But it was because of their support that he could regain his mental strength.

“It depends on the people that you surround yourself with,” he says, reemphasizing the importance of this kind of support. He mentions that this peer support was vital in the early years of the epidemic, and it’s been vital, to this day, throughout the decades of HIV. “I have a lot of friends who have been living with HIV or who have friends living with HIV back in the eighties,” he adds. “[Hearing] their stories, I really get a sense of

how it was [back then]. It was literally like a war crisis among the queer community and communities of color, and [individuals] really depend[ed] on [peer] support.”

It was this kind of support along with strengthening his physical health that made it possible for Szymczyk to look beyond his diagnosis and consider possibilities in his life.

His goal was to run his first long race at the end of his recovery year. Two weeks after he graduated, he moved to New York City. About a year and a half after his diagnosis, he ran his first half-marathon. “I was super proud of myself,” he says.

Szymczyk’s doctors put him on medications right after his diagnosis and he “got to undetectable really quick.” He’s very much aware that those diagnosed at the beginning of the epidemic were not that lucky. He’s also aware that this progress would not be possible, if not for the work of many early HIV and LGBTQ activists.

Younger generations of activists “have such positive energy because of the years that the older generations have put into [fighting for] the HIV community,” he comments.

In New York City, Szymczyk worked in a commercial photography studio, while dreaming of breaking into photojournalism.

Having a background in nonprofit management, he found out about a nonprofit that had ties to Uganda. And so, he took time off from work and went to Uganda to cover the LGBT scene. “[In Uganda] I was able to find a few gay activists, but it wasn’t until I went to the city of Gulu that I was able to reach out to Uganda’s main HIV/AIDS organization called TASO, The AIDS Service Organisation,” he

“The initial reaction to HIV hits you really quickly. For me it was quite intense.”

DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

51

says. He was able to follow a TASO HIV medications distribution team across various villages, and got to speak with people living with HIV he met along the way.

“And here’s what the crazy part was,” he says. “[At the time] I was on a regimen of three medications.

And the medications [TASO] was giving out were exactly [the same meds I was on].”

The medications TASO was distributing came from a pharmaceutical company in Kampala. When visiting Kampala, Szymczyk also stopped by that pharmaceutical company and found out that the brand

52

names of the medications were the same as in the States, but the packaging was Ugandan. “I was seeing the same medications [in Uganda as in the United States],” Szymczyk comments. “It got me thinking, why aren’t there more services for people living with HIV in the United States.”

It also got Szymczyk rethinking his career path.

Therefore, when he returned to the States, he quit his job at the photo studio and became interested in working with nonprofits, in particular HIV nonprofits. “I found this executive position [with a nonprofit],”

he says. “It got me my foot in the door.”

The office was close to Madison Square Park, and he would take his lunch breaks in the park, scanning newspaper articles.

A particular article about the increasing cost of education caught his eye, made him wonder if there were any scholarships available for people living with HIV. He found out that there was no national scholarship for people living with HIV. Szymczyk quit his job at the nonprofit and started working on his own nonprofit.

First, he needed a name for his new organization. In order to come up with a good name, he started thinking of what makes the HIV community strong, persistent, and resilient. “All I could think of was a sense of community,” he answers. “I’m [also] a sports person, so I was thinking of something sports-related.” First, the word “team” came to his mind, and then the word “league.” He explains, “I believe that the HIV community consists of two types of individuals. It consists of people living with HIV who are acting on their wellness, A&U • DECEMBER 2017

their health, on bettering their lives and, in a sense, bettering the lives of those around them in a very meaningful way. [The HIV community also consists of ] people who’re not living with HIV, but who are there for people who’re in need of assistance. They are the shoulder to cry on sometimes or the person to talk to when dealing with something that’s really heavy.”

He further explains that HIV doesn’t just mean the virus, in the medical sense. HIV can mean “a slew of a bunch of things.” We need “a strong league of people” to stand up to the virus. That’s where the name came from.

The HIV League scholarship started in 2015, on World AIDS Day. (The next round of scholarship applications starts this year on December 1.) “The organization is run by the board of directors, the advisory board, and myself,” Szymczyk explains. “We [often discuss] what is the best way to provide services for individuals, when it comes to higher education.”

To spread the word about the scholarship, The HIV League reached out to over 225 organizations, community-based organizations and AIDS service organizations, since people living with HIV make up a large portion of their clientele. Two students received, each, a $7,000 scholarship. “We have already doubled our efforts for this upcoming round of scholarships,” Szymczyk says. “So we will have at least four $7,000 scholarships for this next round.” The money is distributed among four semesters, and covers the average two-year community college tuition.”

Szymczyk adds, “We’re very, very proud of our scholars. They are most well deserving of this scholarship, but in very different ways.”

He further comments that “The HIV League seeks to identify and award scholarships to the most promising students living with HIV as evidenced by their educational accomplishments, leadership, and services.”

Applicants don’t need to be U.S. citizens, but, if they win the scholarship, the funds are tied to going to a place of higher education within the U.S. and its territories.

In addition, there’s really no age restriction.

The age range of individuals who can apply is seventeen to sixty-four. In a way, it represents the HIV community. Hence, there are high school grads who can apply, as well as HIV long-term survivors.

DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

Applicants come from all walks of life and from many backgrounds. “With HIV,” Szymczyk comments, “it doesn’t matter who you are, where you are from. All that matters is that [HIV] is a virus that can affect you. That is why the HIV community is so diverse, not only within the makeup and demographics of people but also political backgrounds.

“Education is a huge part of wellness, at least I believe that. We [at The HIV League] believe that the overall wellbeing of someone living with HIV includes education.” In that sense, The HIV League is unique as an HIV organization. “We’re not public health based, we’re not advocacy based,” Szymczyk says. “We’re a foundation at heart and pro-

vide financial support [to individuals living with HIV], because without that support [they] can’t get that education.

“We thrive not only serving the HIV community but working with the HIV community because the HIV community exists as a group of people acting as a strong force towards the overall betterment for people living with HIV. Their strong willpower is one consistent quality of people living with HIV.” Learn more about HIV League scholarship by visiting: www.hivleague.org.

Alina Oswald is Arts Editor of A&U.

53

Code Switch

the president of the latino commission

by Larry Buhl on aids talks about tailoring messages to u.s. latinos

I

n early September in Philadelphia, NMAC (formerly the National Minority AIDS Council) held the U.S. Conference on AIDS federal meeting, a joint event with three regions of the U.S. Health and Human Services Department, as well as national leaders, advocates and community organizations. The goal was to determine ways of preventing the spread of HIV, viral hepatitis and STIs in LGBTQ communities of color.

One session, Hispanic/Latinx Call to Action, focused on threats to the health and well being of Hispanic and Latino communities, and on some solutions for reducing risks.

Guillermo Chacón, President of the Latino Commission on AIDS, was at the meeting. I asked him what he took away from the meeting and the conference.

Guillermo Chacón: The most important thing was, it was a joint effort to produce this two-day meeting. Two, it was acknowledged that we need to do a better job to get faith-based communities on our side to reduce stigma and the government has to be a better partner. Third issue, HIV/hepatitis C prevention needs more attention at all levels. I was happy that it was acknowledged throughout the meeting, the growing opioid crisis throughout the nation. We cannot ignore a public health crisis right in front of us.

Larry Buhl: What issues make Hispanic Americans more vulnerable to viral hepatitis and HIV? The latest CDC data describe the epidemic as flat among all communities except among Latino men, MSM or gay, between eighteen and thirty. The reason is our community suffered double discrimination and high levels of stigma at all levels. There are institutional and structural barriers such as level of poverty. And language can be a major barrier to access healthcare.

How do Latinos face such things as discrimination and stigma?

It is by society in general and by the Latino community and media. It’s by

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faith-based organizations, by the education system. There is a structural barrier. When you are in isolation you will take risky behaviors.

Family and faith-based [sites] are two places you go in moments of crisis. But if my family and my pastor reject me, what then? Many times young gay Hispanic men hear “you have to leave this house.”

How do you tailor messages to reach different populations?

We have a huge foreign-born population, especially major cities. Our messages must be tailored to Hispanic Latinos born in the U.S. but also face the reality of foreign-born [individuals].

If you are born in the U.S. it could be more generic and in English. Say I’m a gay man and born in Texas, and my Spanish is limited; I will have access to more information. I have to focus more on risk I might expose myself to HIV and STDs. For foreign-born people, we have to do an assessment to determine who we are talking about. In North Carolina, there is a huge number of foreign-born Mexicans, and also a huge number of immigrants from Honduras. So we need to do community mapping.

Can you describe community mapping?

The messaging has to be different depending on who you want to reach. New York will be a heavily Caribbean population with a growing Mexican population.

In L.A. it will be mostly Mexican and Salvadoran but without ignoring the other populations. We also must engage health departments in the counties and cities and state for them to understand better who

we are talking about. The CDC does the federal messaging. We need to educate them, too. And we need to know who is in the community.

And we need to engage the people in charge of infectious disease at city, county, and state levels. I need to engage people from the bureau of community services, to make sure people in that division understand who we are. And we have to engage faith-based institutions to help them understand that this is a health crisis.

How challenging is it to identify the audience and tailor the messages?

Very. Here’s an example of how it can go wrong. North Carolina was going to roll out a campaign to reach Hispanics. But most of the characters in the video were Puerto Rican and you could see on the video that it’s New York City. That would be a waste of public dollars.

Every city and county must do an assessment of who is out there and where they are from. We have the tools to prevent the spread of HIV. You need the right messenger and to motivate them. For messengers, peer-to-peer is the way to go.

Young gay men talking to their peers will be more effective as long as they have the right message and information.

Larry Buhl is a radio news reporter, screenwriter, and novelist living in Los Angeles. Follow him on Twitter @LarryBuhl.

A&U • DECEMBER 2017

How I Acquired PrEP for My Son

by

Allie Oakes one mother models self-care & sexual

health

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Thankfully, we’d developed this relatively open relationship. I think their willingness to come to me or to dialogue would have been greatly hindered if shame were

something I brought into the conversation.

At some point, I realized they needed to hear me say, “No matter when you choose to have sex or whom you choose to have A&U • DECEMBER 2017

photo by Sean Black

I

am a mom to five kids between ten and twenty-one. One of my sons is nineteen and gay. He came out at sixteen in a home where he had been raised in a devout evangelical setting. Our family life revolved so much around our activity level in our church that I knew only one openly gay person before then, so you can imagine how uninformed I was about the LGBTQ community in general. That didn’t last long though because I knew I needed to get to know some LGBTQ people so I could understand what their lives were like, and what my son’s future might look like. The only way I could learn was to leave my little bubble and venture off to different places where I knew I’d be able to develop relationships with LGBTQ people or pick up literature at events like Pride.

One of those events was AIDS Walk Los Angeles. It was there I met [A&U Senior Editor] Sean Black, whom I eventually got to know over dinner.

Sean shared with me that he was HIV-positive and since then, I refer to him as “My Forever Friend.” He has played a priceless role in helping me emerge out of my myth and fear-based fiction to a fact-based awareness, educating me about many things, PrEP, or pre-exposure prophylaxis, being one of them.

I knew I wanted to find this prevention medicine for my son. I thought it would be as simple as getting a girl on the pill. It was actually pretty challenging. It doesn’t have to be that way for anyone else.

The hard part wasn’t getting my son to comply or become educated.

From the time my kids were little, we have had a running dialogue about sex and sexuality in an effort to maintain open communication about the topic.

I wanted to set them up to have a satisfying and safe sex life as adults and felt the chances of that were higher if we made the conversation casual and important, instead of awkward and uncomfortable. Then came the days when I realized some of my kids weren’t waiting to become adults to have sex.

it with, you should know those decisions don’t define you, or how I feel about you.

You are more than your sexuality. You are mine and valuable simply for that reason.”

After that, I found out plenty of stuff I sometimes wished I didn’t know; however, no effective parent sticks their head in the sand about what their kids are up to.

All the more reason for us to pursue the best route for safe sex. So, I told my son to become educated about PrEP. Finding a doctor who would write a prescription for PReP was the biggest struggle in all of this. I have a fantastic group of physicians from which to draw. I should have called to ask if they prescribed PrEP before visiting. Not one of them had even heard of PrEP! These were the people I hoped would teach me more about this medicine. Instead I’d end up saying, “You know? PrEP? That drug that somehow keeps you from getting HIV?” No. They really, truly didn’t know. Only one doctor said to me, “What is the name of that medicine? I’ll learn about it tonight.”

I got tired of striking out. One day my son and I took off for an LGBT center in search of help. They gave us a whopping three names of doctors they were familiar with in Orange County who prescribed PrEP. Three names. I’ve since found there are more.

I made my son make the appointment because I wanted to begin to hand over the responsibility for his health to him. We discussed that PrEP wasn’t a license to run off with any ol’ person from Grindr, which he knew was never safe anyway, but it still needed to be said. This medicine wouldn’t protect against any other STIs. It absolutely had to be taken very consistently. However, if he was old enough to be engaging in sexual activity, he was old enough to be the one to be responsible for safeguarding his health. His healthcare and self-care was to be taken seriously.

The day came for us to meet Dr. L. Thomas Lochner. He is an internist, but also specializes in HIV. I must say that Dr. Lochner was worth the wait, and I could see, as I’d heard it would, that seeing someone who regularly treats many gay men would indeed make a big difference.

I didn’t know how relieved I, as a parent, would feel to know my son now had access to Dr. Lochner, who could be available to address every aspect of my son’s health.

I couldn’t believe it was 2017 and we lived in the U.S., and still it took this much to get treated to receive PrEP and get a prescription written! That need not be the case for you. I went back to meet with Dr. Lochner and he shared some information DECEMBER 2017 • A&U

that would have been really helpful for me to have known when I was pursuing help finding PrEP. Allie Oakes: How can people find a doctor who prescribes PrEP? L. Thomas Lochner, MD: There are PrEP websites in more populated areas that reference prescribing and knowledgeable doctors. Another website is AAHIVM. org, the American Academy of HIV Medicine. Anybody who is knowledgable about HIV is going to be knowledgeable about PrEP. It makes their job much more fun to be treating someone for prevention, rather than treating HIV. What should people know about the process of getting a prescription for PrEP and taking it?

Any primary care doctor can prescribe it. The patient comes in and says they’re interested in PrEP. The directions are one pill daily. Initially before they start the drug, you need to make sure they are still HIV-negative because it would be inadequate to treat someone who has HIV with that alone. You also check their kidney function baseline. If they’re HIV-negative and kidney function is normal, then they go ahead and start. They have to be over eighteen. Very rarely, they may have some loose bowel intestinal problems [but] that goes away for most people. Every three months afterwards, you’re supposed to get retested for HIV and have your kidney function rechecked. It works to prevent HIV [most effectively] if you take it faithfully. Human nature is that very often in the beginning, we’ll be very good at [adherence], and then we tend to lax over time, so I usually recommend that people use a weekly Sunday through Saturday pill box. Once a week, they put a pill in each box, close them obviously, and if today was Tuesday and you look in the Tuesday box and see that pill is still there, then you didn’t take it. That is the best we can do to make sure that you take it faithfully.

Is there anything people should consider?

Since we have been prescribing PrEP for the last year and a half or so, we have seen a huge spike in the number of other sexually transmitted diseases. Syphilis— we didn’t see syphilis for years, and now I probably see one person a week on the average. I literally hadn’t seen it for years.

Gonorrhea. Chlamydia. Those are the big three that I see a lot of. [Editor’s note: Sexually active individuals could use condoms in addition to PrEP to help prevent STIs.] I was at an HIV conference and we were

talking about whether or not PrEP should be used because it might encourage more people to have unsafe sex, and the lecturer said to a room of doctors, “Well, let me put it this way. If you had a vaccine that you could give everyone to prevent them from getting HIV, wouldn’t you do that?” and the answer was, “Well of course we would.” This is the next best thing to a vaccine that prevents HIV. Unfortunately, human behavior is such that we won’t always take it faithfully, and we are more likely to have unsafe sex, especially adolescents.”

I’m incredibly grateful for the many LGBTQ people in my life who were willing to let me ask questions, and who could point me to resources that gave me the chance to open my mind and heart, growing as an individual, and especially as a mom. If Sean hadn’t been willing to sit with someone who knew almost nothing of the LGBTQ community, my son wouldn’t be protected today. If my young, gay friends hadn’t said to me, “Go to the LGBT center!,” I wouldn’t have found the doctors’ names when I did. If Dr. Lochner wasn’t willing to let me come back and ask questions, some of you might not have such a clear path as to how to pursue PrEP. It took several people giving their time and energy, but now, you all have this information and you can share it with someone else! That’s so exciting! Giving young people the knowledge of how to become protected should make us all feel a little better!

This is real life as an involved parent.

We can model making choices as individuals for our own care and the care of our kids that set us up for making this the best life possible in every way. Influencing and educating our kids can be difficult enough without worrying about their health! I can say, “Goodbye” to worrying now that I’ve finally been able to say, “Hello!” to PrEP. Allie Oakes, forty-two, lives with her kids in Orange County, California. Her son, Cooper, has been out for three years and she celebrates him and every LGBTQ person, as she does her other kids. She speaks and writes about the radical transformation that occurred in every area of her life when she began to see the LGBTQ community through the eyes of a mom. To learn more about how she became unable to contain her love for all, especially the marginalized, visit her website, www.madeofonyx.com, where she also offers information she wishes she and Cooper both had when he came out.

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Year-End Inventory

as you look ahead to the new year, make the spirit & mind priorities

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s the year draws to a close, and we start to look ahead to a new one, it is always a good time to take stock and plan. In addition to looking at our overall lives and all its various components, it is a good time to take stock of your wellness. Did you try something new in 2017? What did you do that worked? What did you do that didn’t work?

Do you need more of something (or less of something) in the coming year?

It is a good time to look at things from the whole perspective. We know that within traditional, conventional, western medicine, often times, we only look at the physical body. And certainly, without question, this is an important aspect of our health and well being. But, when we talk about whole medicine we are looking at a wellness system that addresses the spirit and the mind as well as the physical you.

Whole medicine looks at the multidimensional human being.

I recently watched a news story about people in the hospital recovering from the unthinkable mass shooting in Las Vegas.

The hospital brought in dogs to sit with patients in recovery. It’s a pretty safe bet, that even with the marvelous advances in medicine, that none of the dogs have a medical degree. However, they were not there to read vital signs or prescribe medications—they were there to lift and nurture the spirit of the patients.

Indeed, my friends, you are more than just your physical parts. When I speak of spirit, I speak of your energy—the light that shines from within you, the force that drives you. The spirit, sometimes referred to as the life force, is the inner you. For example, when someone talks about “team spirit” they mean the energy or drive for the team. Sports teams have cheerleaders who help bolster team spirit. You are your own cheerleader and it’s up to you to find ways to enhance your spirit, life force or energy. Spirit is your vim and vigor for life.

Now, perhaps the dogs that I mentioned above are a spirit-lifting experience for the patients, but what can you do?

It is impossible for me, in this article, to provide you with a regimen tailored specifically to you, as nurturing one’s

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spirit is a very unique, personalized and individual choice. Some of my favorite uplifting practices are listening to healing, triumphant, and cleansing music, artistic pursuits like painting and photography, and spending time in nature. You innately know what lifts you up. You can feel it when it happens. Pay attention to those uplifting moments and create a regimen of self care based on them.

Then we have the mind to consider.

The mind is like any other hardworking machine. It processes every single thing that we say, hear, do, feel, and encounter.

Even when we sleep, the mind is at work.

Some say that dreams are the mind’s way of organizing and working through the things we cannot when we are awake.

Again, how you clear and relax your mind is going to be very unique to you. For me, meditation is a good practice. So is something called mindfulness; a practice where you learn to work with your thoughts and how to put them aside and keep them organized and from becoming overwhelming. Seeking quiet is another tool I use. During the daytime, if I sit on the front stoop outside my apartment, it’s chaotic. Cars, people, noise, and constant activity. Like it or not, the mind takes all these things in to process. But, at night, I sit out on the stoop and there is rarely a car or person in sight. It lets my mind quiet and slow down.

On a different wellness note, with the onset of colder (and sometimes snowier) weather and less sun and light, I would like to go back to my roots a little and discuss the benefits of massages in the winter months.

Winter is easily one of the best times for massage therapy. Not that there is ever a wrong time, mind you. The colder weather, spending more time indoors to escape the harsh elements, and less sunlight overall have a tendency to affect the body’s natural production of vitamin D, which plays a role in immune system function and mood.

“Massage therapy may be an effective method of deflecting common seasonal challenges,” said Jeff Smoot, 2015 President of the American Massage Therapy Association (AMTA). “Massage benefits

the way our bodies react to negative influences, whether that’s weather, anxieties or disorders.”

An ever expanding body of research has documented the impact of massage therapy for relief of anxiety and depression for people in a wide range of health situations, including seasonal illnesses, anxiety and depression. Massage therapy impacts the endocrine system, where hormones are created. Massage therapy decreases cortisol levels, which is a stress hormone, and increases oxytocin, a hormone known to elevate mood, leading to the release of serotonin and endorphins, relieving the stress and enhancing your mood.

In addition, with the winter months come colds and flus. But, massage can positively impact your immune system.

This occurs through increased lymphatic flow which is rich in white blood cells that fight infections around the body.

Improved circulation is another benefit of massage therapy. The colder weather tends to slow circulation. This is sometimes why we feel stiff in the colder months. Most commonly aches and pains in the muscle tissue due to a decrease in circulation, and therefore a decrease of oxygen to muscle tissue, along with prolonged cold in the hands and feet are signs of slower circulation. Massage therapy can help by enhancing blood flow and body warmth, which in turn increases the flow of oxygen around the body.

I would like to wish each of you a happy, healthy, productive and uplifting holiday experience.

Rob Zukowski is a New York State licensed Massage Therapist, a Certified Medical Massage Therapist and is certified by the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork. In addition, he has advanced training in Sports Massage and sports-related injuries, various relaxation therapies, and massage for oncology. His experience includes working in medical facilities, corporate health environments, wellness centers, and spas. In addition to his hands-on work, he is a writer, manages a wellness center, arranges corporate wellness events, works in private practice and lectures in the field of therapeutic massage therapy. You can contact him directly at robzlmt@gmail.com.

A&U • DECEMBER 2017

E R U T CUL S THE

D I A OF

FILM

120 BPM

120

BPM is a stunningly powerful and creative piece of filmmaking documenting the ACT UP movement in Paris during the early nineties. There is a long tradition of dissidents taking to the streets of the City of Lights and effecting change, from the French Revolutionaries to the Communards. ACT UP followed in the footsteps of those political movements, taking their cause to the streets of Paris and literally fighting for their lives. This film documents those who fought, and sometimes died, bringing awareness, prevention, and treatment of a deadly disease to the attention of a nation in a time of much indifference.

It’s an important part of our history and a reminder to us all that the disease, and our reaction to it, wasn’t confined to New York and San Francisco here in the states.

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Much of the film’s action alternates between the group’s weekly and sometimes contentious meetings and their protests at AIDS conferences, at pharmaceutical companies, Paris Gay Pride celebrations, and even a French high school. At the heart of the film is the romantic relationship between the two main protagonists. There’s Sean, a poz member of ACT UP who’s getting sicker by the day, and the HIV-negative Nathan, who is learning about the disease at the side of the man he’s falling in love with.

Their touching relationship, with Nathan beautifully filling an increasing role as caregiver to Sean, provides the emotional ballast of the piece.

Emotions run high in the group as a whole.

Many are simply running out of time and the pharmaceutical companies they are most often going to battle with are dragging their feet just as much as their ancillaries and parent companies did here in the States. Anyone familiar with the ACT UP movement in New York at the time will readily recognize both the triumphs and the frustrations

this group faced. This is a creative piece of filmmaking and shows that the best films don’t always rely on the biggest budgets.

It was shown to much acclaim at Cannes, winning the Grand Prix, and is France’s contender for Best Foreign Film at the 2018 Academy Awards. Any time a light can be shone on material dealing with the fight against AIDS and the revolutionary group ACT UP, it is always a victory. The fight, and the stigma, are not yet over.

—John Francis Leonard

BOOKS

Owls Don’t Have to Mean Death

by Chip Livingston Tincture/Lethe Press

C

hip Livingston’s lyrical, heart-wrenching new novel, Owls Don’t Have to Mean Death, introduces us to Peter, a mixed-blood native American Creek Indian, and Cache, his blond blue-eyed partner who is dying of complications due to AIDS. Cache talks Peter into taking him on a motor trip from Gainesville, Florida, where they live to St. Augustine, “While I’m feeling good,” Cache says. It is not the last time Peter cannot say “no” to Cache.

As much as this novel is about Peter’s and Cache’s relationship, and the rituals of coping with the slow, inevitable death of a loved one, it is even more concerned with Peter’s relationships with his family, his ancestors, their customs, history, and beliefs. Peter deeply loves his grandparcontinued on page 62 A&U • DECEMBER 2017

photo courtesy The Orchard

Directed by Robin Campillo The Orchard

NOVEMBER 2017 â&#x20AC;¢ A&U

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A Calendar of Events

Culture of AIDS

continued from page 60

photo by Sean Black

O

n the night of Saturday, December 9, the Taglyan Culture Center in Los Angeles, California, will come to life with the joyous sounds of the 27th annual iteration of DIVAS Simply Singing!, a fundraiser for The DIVA Foundation.

Founded in 1990 by Broadway superstar Sheryl Lee Ralph (one of the original Dreamgirls and, more recently, Madame Morrible in Wicked), The DIVA Foundation works to erase the stigma associated with HIV and to spread the word about the importance of getting tested for the virus.

Ms. Ralph [A&U, August 2015] first began anti-AIDS work in the late 1980s despite resistance from others in the entertainment industry; encouraged by Elizabeth Taylor to continue the work, she forged ahead with The DIVA Foundation and created DIVAS Simply Singing! Conceived as a “living memorial” to the many friends and co-workers whom Ms. Ralph has lost to AIDS, DIVAS Simply Singing! is “the longest consecutive running musical AIDS benefit in the country.”

Among the many divas and divos who will be joining Ms.

ents, elders in their Tribe, from whose stories and teachings Peter has learned reverence for the rituals and mythologies of “the old ways.” He is well versed in his Tribe’s history and rituals. That doesn’t keep the twentieth century from intruding—after a Naming Ceremony, in which Peter’s grandfather gives him the highly respectful name “Two Wolves,” in acknowledgment of Peter’s being of “two spirits,” Peter discovers that others unknown to him have carved “Two Fags” into the bleachers surrounding the naming ceremony circle. And of course, there is Cache’s fight with AIDS. When he is diagnosed with “an active colony of Cytomegalovirus in your intestines,” and the only available treatment, daily infusions of Gancyclovir through a portacatheter inserted in Cache’s chest, fails to produce desired results, we know that the end is near. Peter balances his hope in modern medicine with a grasping at hope and help from his ancestors.

“Please let us remember,” he asks them, “how to save him.”

It is a testament to Livingston’s great skill as a writer that the love between Peter and Cache is so intense and so palpable. The relationship is fraught with pain and doubt and worry, but it is also full of incredibly soft, poignant moments that

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Ralph on this special evening will be Jenifer Lewis, Loretta Devine, Rashaan Patterson, Terisa Griffin, and Kenny Lattimore. Over the years luminous stars, many of whom have graced our cover, such as Ledisi and Patti Labelle, have wowed DSS audiences, doing what divas do best—simply singing. Oh! And raising much-needed money and awareness in the fight against AIDS. Partial proceeds will benefit Project Angel Food.

Date: December 9; time: 6 p.m.; location: Taglyan Culture Center, 1201 Vine Street, Los Angeles, California 90038; tickets: $150–$300.

To purchase tickets, log on to: www.eventbrite.com/e/27th-annual-divas-simply-singing-tickets-39149160192. For more information on Ms. Ralph and The DIVA Foundation, log on to www.sherylleeralph.com and/or www.thedivafoundation.org.

blood-soaked death in hospital.

This novel is also about the importance of words, the power of storytelling, the significance of “naming” things.

Peter’s Granny Weave (so-named for her skill as a seamstress) seems to carry the entire history and culture of the Creek tribe in the parables that fill her grayhaired head, and when she shares a story as she’s instructing Peter on how to make a proper dreamcatcher, we listen. And we want more of her stories, her wisdom; we feel richer for having met her.

Peter has believed all his life that an owl sighting is a bad omen. The novel opens with Peter and Cache discovering a dead owl in their yard, and it closes with Peter and his cousin encountering an owl who seems put in the trees to guide them as they walk the Trail of Tears from Florida to Oklahoma, a spiritual journey that Peter undertakes to heal, with the guidance of his ancestors. As readers, we genuinely hope that the owl will lead Two Wolves to the peace he seeks.

—Hank Trout anyone who has loved and lost someone will recognize instantly. They will also recognize the verisimilitude with which Livingston renders the horror of Cache’s

John Francis Leonard interviewed advocate Cory Frederick for this issue.

Hank Trout reported on the new Martin Wong exhibit for this issue’s Gallery.

A&U • DECEMBER 2017

DECEMBER 2017 â&#x20AC;¢ A&U

63

Survival Guide

[a portrait by sean black]

“I self-identify as an HIV-negative longterm survivor. The virus never got into my body, but it got thoroughly into my life and into my heart. When all around me were dying, a part of me died with them. Like my HIV-positive brothers and sisters, I didn’t think that I had a future either. Men were dying so quickly and so frequently. It was overwhelming. I expected it was only a matter of time and that all of us would die during the pandemic.YES, ALL OF US.”

-Bill Beiersdorfer

Soon to be seventy, Bill Beiersdorfer is an HIV-negative long-term survivor from San Francisco. In 1987, with a broken heart, he buried his first partner, Dirk, who died of AIDS-related causes. In the years to come, he buried two more partners who were taken by the virus, Robert in 1992 and Kendall in 2000. He is an active member of the Elizabeth Taylor 50+ Network for gay, bi, and trans men.

Sean Black is a Senior Editor of A&U. 64

A&U • DECEMBER 2017

TREATMENT LOWERS THE AMOUNT OF HIV IN YOUR BODY. AND HELPS LOWER THE CHANCE OF PASSING HIV ON.

There is no cure for HIV, but treatment can help protect your health and the people you care about. Talk to a healthcare provider and visit HelpStopTheVirus.com © 2016 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. UNBC3046 04/16

The greatest distance I’ve come isn’t in miles.

Let’s Grow Old Together See what life with HIV looks like from diagnosis through grandkids with a little help from Walgreens. Explore Nancy’s HIV journey at Walgreens.com/LetsGrowOldTogether. ©2017 Walgreen Co. All rights reserved.

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