A&U September 2016

SEPTEMBER 2016 • ISSUE 263 • AMERICA’S AIDS MAGAZINE

POZITIVELY DEE-LIGHTFUL Davina Conner Fills the Airwaves with Hope, Help & Healing

CREATING COMMUNITY Vince Crisostomo Helps Guide the Men of the Elizabeth Taylor 50Plus Network Toward Support

*plus Joshua Middleton • Dario Lewis Nightingale • Hector Toscano • Connie Rose

greg LOUGANIS

THE FOUR-TIME OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST DIVES INTO ATHLETE ADVOCACY TO HELP THE NEXT GENERATION

WHAT IS ODEFSEY®?

ODEFSEY is a 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years and older. It can either be used in people who are starting HIV-1 treatment, have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, and have an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral load”) that is no more than 100,000 copies/mL; or in people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements. These include having an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL) for 6 months or more on their current HIV-1 treatment. ODEFSEY combines 3 medicines into 1 pill taken once a day with a meal. ODEFSEY is a complete HIV-1 treatment and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses, you must keep taking ODEFSEY. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the EJCPEG QH UGZWCN EQPVCEV YKVJ DQF[ ƃ WKFU 0GXGT TGWUG QT UJCTG PGGFNGU QT QVJGT KVGOU VJCV JCXG DQF[ ƃ WKFU QP VJGO

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

What is the most important information I should know about ODEFSEY? ODEFSEY may cause serious side effects:

• Buildup of an acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which

is a serious medical emergency. Symptoms of lactic acidosis include feeling very weak or tired, unusual muscle pain, trouble breathing, stomach pain with nausea or vomiting, feeling cold (especially in your arms and legs), feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat.

• Serious liver problems. The liver may become large and fatty. Symptoms of liver problems include your skin or the white part of your eyes turning yellow (jaundice); dark “tea-colored” urine; loss of appetite; light-colored bowel movements (stools); nausea; and/or pain, aching, or tenderness on the right side of your stomach area.

• You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or serious liver problems if you are female, very overweight, or have been taking ODEFSEY or a similar medicine for a long time. In some cases, lactic acidosis and serious liver problems have led to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any symptoms of these conditions.

• Worsening of hepatitis B virus (HBV) infection. ODEFSEY

is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking ODEFSEY, your HBV may suddenly get worse. &Q PQV UVQR VCMKPI 1&'(5'; YKVJQWV Ƃ TUV VCNMKPI VQ [QWT healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health.

Who should not take ODEFSEY?

Do not take ODEFSEY if you take: • Certain prescription medicines for other conditions. It is important to ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with ODEFSEY. Do not start a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider.

• The herbal supplement St. John’s wort.

• Any other medicines to treat HIV-1 infection.

What are the other possible side effects of ODEFSEY?

Serious side effects of ODEFSEY may also include: • Severe skin rash and allergic reactions. Skin rash is a common side effect of ODEFSEY. Call your healthcare provider right away if you get a rash, as some rashes and allergic reactions may need to be treated in a hospital.

Stop taking ODEFSEY and get medical help right away if you get a rash with any of the following symptoms: fever, skin blisters, mouth sores, redness or swelling of the eyes (conjunctivitis), swelling of the face, lips, mouth, or throat, trouble breathing or swallowing, pain on the right side of the stomach (abdominal) area, and/or dark “tea-colored” urine.

• Depression or mood changes. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you: feel sad or hopeless, feel anxious or restless, have thoughts of hurting yourself (suicide) or have tried to hurt yourself.

• Changes in liver enzymes. People who have had hepatitis B or C or who have certain liver enzyme changes may have a higher risk for new or worse liver problems while taking ODEFSEY. Liver problems can also happen in people who have not had liver disease. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your liver enzymes before and during treatment with ODEFSEY. • Changes in body fat, which can happen in people taking HIV-1 medicines.

• Changes in your immune system. Your immune system OC[ IGV UVTQPIGT CPF DGIKP VQ Ƃ IJV KPHGEVKQPU 6GNN [QWT healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking ODEFSEY. • Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. Your healthcare provider may tell you to stop taking ODEFSEY if you develop new or worse kidney problems.

• Bone problems, such as bone pain, softening, or thinning, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones.

The most common side effects of rilpivirine, one of the medicines in ODEFSEY, are depression, trouble sleeping (insomnia), and headache.

The most common side effect of emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide, two of the medicines in ODEFSEY, is nausea.

Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or do not go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking ODEFSEY?

• All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare

provider if you have or have had any kidney, bone, mental health (depression or suicidal thoughts), or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection.

• All the medicines you take, including prescription and overthe-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements.

Other medicines may affect how ODEFSEY works. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. Ask your healthcare provider if it is safe to take ODEFSEY with all of your other medicines.

• If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if ODEFSEY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking ODEFSEY. • If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Ask your healthcare provider if ODEFSEY is right for you, and visit ODEFSEY.com to learn more.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see Important Facts about ODEFSEY including important warnings on the following page.

ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

SHOW YOUR

photo by Stuart Locklear

RADIANCE

ODEFSEY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day HIV-1 treatment for people 12 years and older who are either new to treatment and have less than 100,000 copies/mL of virus in their blood or people whose healthcare provider determines they can replace their current HIV-1 medicines with ODEFSEY.

IMPORTANT FACTS This is only a brief summary of important information about ODEFSEY® and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

(oh-DEF-see) MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT ODEFSEY

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF ODEFSEY

ODEFSEY may cause serious side effects, including:

ODEFSEY can cause serious side effects, including:

•

•

•

Buildup of lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms: feeling very weak or tired, unusual muscle pain, trouble breathing, stomach pain with nausea or vomiting, feeling cold (especially in your arms and legs), feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat.

Severe liver problems, which in some cases can lead to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms: your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice); dark “tea-colored” urine; loss of appetite; light-colored bowel movements (stools); nausea; and/ or pain, aching, or tenderness on the right side of your stomach area.

Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. ODEFSEY is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking ODEFSEY. Do not stop taking ODEFSEY without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months.

You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight, or have been taking ODEFSEY or a similar medicine for a long time.

•

• • • • • • •

Those in the “Most Important Information About ODEFSEY” section.

Severe skin rash and allergic reactions.

Depression or mood changes.

Changes in liver enzymes.

Changes in body fat.

Changes in your immune system.

New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure.

Bone problems.

The most common side effects of rilpivirine, one of the medicines in ODEFSEY, are depression, trouble sleeping (insomnia), and headache.

The most common side effect of emtricitabine and tenofovir alafenamide, two of the medicines in ODEFSEY, is nausea.

These are not all the possible side effects of ODEFSEY. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking ODEFSEY. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with ODEFSEY.

BEFORE TAKING ODEFSEY

ABOUT ODEFSEY •

•

ODEFSEY is a prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years of age and older who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before and who have an amount of HIV-1 in their blood (“viral load”) that is no more than 100,000 copies/mL. ODEFSEY can also be used to replace current HIV-1 medicines for some people who have an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/ mL), have been on the same HIV-1 medicines for at least 6 months, have never failed HIV-1 treatment, and whose healthcare provider determines that they meet certain other requirements.

ODEFSEY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others.

Do NOT take ODEFSEY if you: • Take a medicine that contains: carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Epitol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®, Tegretol-XR®, Teril®), dexamethasone (Ozurdex®, Maxidex®, Decadron®, Baycadron™), dexlansoprazole (Dexilant®), esomeprazole (Nexium®, Vimovo®), lansoprazole (Prevacid®), omeprazole (Prilosec®, Zegerid®), oxcarbazepine (Trileptal®), pantoprazole sodium (Protonix®), phenobarbital (Luminal®), phenytoin (Dilantin®, Dilantin-125®, Phenytek®), rabeprazole (Aciphex®), rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater®, Rimactane®), or rifapentine (Priftin®).

•

Take the herbal supplement St. John’s wort.

•

Take any other HIV-1 medicines at the same time.

Tell your healthcare provider if you: • Have or have had any kidney, bone, mental health (depression or suicidal thoughts), or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.

• Have any other medical condition.

• Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.

• Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take: • Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

• Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with ODEFSEY.

HOW TO TAKE ODEFSEY • •

ODEFSEY is a complete 1-pill, once-a-day HIV-1 medicine.

Take ODEFSEY with a meal.

GET MORE INFORMATION •

• •

This is only a brief summary of important information about ODEFSEY. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.

Go to ODEFSEY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 If you need help paying for your medicine, visit ODEFSEY.com for program information.

ODEFSEY, the ODEFSEY Logo, GILEAD, and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks referenced herein are the property of their respective owners. Version date: March 2016 © 2016 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. ODEC0026 06/16

Benefiting

Rain or shine, this ride is amazing, and so important to the LGBT community living with AIDS/HIV. Being able to bring awareness to the AIDS epidemic before, during, and after the Ride is my reason for riding. I go into the Ride with one goal and finish accomplishing so much more. — Andrew, Rider No. 109

Boston

t

ork o new Y

16

Septem

, 20 5 2 – 3 2 ber

brakingaidsride.org 866-858-6877

c o n t e n t s September 2016

40 Cover Olympic Gold Medal Winner Greg Louganis Talks with A&U’s Chip Alfred About Staying on Top of Long-Term Surviving with HIV & Helping Elite Athletes Take the Next Step in Their Lives After Sports

Features

Departments

32 Gallery Artist Hector Toscano Explores the Ecology of Living with HIV

7

Frontdesk

11

Mailbox

16

NewsBreak

36 Taylor-Made Men With the Guidance of SFAF’s Vince Crisostomo, the Elizabeth Taylor 50Plus Network Nurtures Community Among Long-Term Survivors

viewfinder

46 Happy Days Are Here Again Davina Conner, aka Pozitively Dee, Turns Up the Volume on HIV Awareness with Each Broadcast 50 On Track Singer Dario Makes Sure AIDS Awareness Lands High on the Charts 12 Poetry 22 Ruby’s Rap Ruby raps with Lesley-Ann Jones, Biographer of Freddie Mercury cover photo by Sean Black

14

Just*in Time

24

TYing It All Together

25

Our Story, Our Time

26

Bright Lights, Small City

28

Role Call

29

Second Acts

30

For the Long Run

lifeguide 52

Positive Justice

53

Hep Talk

54

The Whole Perspective

56

Under Reported

58

The Culture of AIDS

60

Lifelines

64

Survival Guide

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A&U Frontdesk

AMERICA’S AIDS MAGAZINE issue 263 vol. 25 no. 9 September 2016 editorial offices: (518) 426-9010 fax: (518) 436-5354 Editor in Chief & Publisher David Waggoner Managing Editor: Chael Needle Senior Editors: Dann Dulin, Sean Black Editor at Large: Chip Alfred Special Projects Editor: Lester Strong Literary Editor: Brent Calderwood Arts Editor: Alina Oswald Consulting Editor: Nick Steele Copy Editor: Maureen Hunter Contributing Editors: Sarah Churchill Downes, Reed Massengill, Kelly McQuain, Lesléa Newman, Robert E. Penn Contributing Writers: Tyeshia Alston, Noël Alumit, T.J. Banks, Larry Buhl, Ruby Comer, Diane Goettel, Sally Hessney, George M. Johnson, John Francis Leonard, Angela Leroux-Lindsey, Dale Reynolds, Connie Rose, David Rosenberg, Corey Saucier, Stevie St. John, Justin B. Terry-Smith, Hank Trout, Patricia Nell Warren, Chuck Willman, Jeannie Wraight, Rob Zukowski Art Director: Timothy J. Haines Contributing Photographers: Jordan Ancel, Davidd Batalon, Mark Bennington, Tom Bianchi, Sean Black, Adam Bouska, Brian Bowen Smith, Tim Courtney, Duane Cramer, Stephen Churchill Downes, Greg Gorman, Francis Hills, Renée Jacobs, Michael Kerner, Tara Lessard, Tom McGovern, Nancy Perry, Annie Tritt National Advertising Director: Harold Burdick, Jr. Sales & Marketing: David L. Bonitatibus Advertising Sales Office: (518) 426-9010 National Advertising Representative: Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 Subscription Info: (518) 426-9010 Circulation Manager: Robert Schelepanow Bookkeeper: Richard Garcia Board of Directors President: David Waggoner Vice President: Harold Burdick, Jr. Secretary: Richard Garcia Founding Board Members: Mark S. Labrecque, 1961–1992, Christopher Hewitt, 1946–2004, Mark Galbraith, 1962–2011

In Memoriam: Bill Jacobson, 1939–2005 Rhomylly B. Forbes, 1963–2011 • Chris Companik, 1957–2012 Nancy Ellegate, 1959–2015 A&U (ISSN 1074-0872) is published by Art & Understanding, Inc., 25 Monroe St., Suite 205, Albany, NY 12210-2743, USA. For A&U advertising information please call 518-426-9010; for subscriptions and address changes please call 518-426-9010; for letters to the editor and unsolicited manuscripts write A&U Magazine, 25 Monroe Street, Albany, New York 12210; fax 518-436-5354; or e-mail: mailbox@ aumag.org. All unsolicited manuscripts that do not have a S.A.S.E. cannot be returned and will not be acknowledged. ©2016 Art & Understanding, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. A&U may not be reproduced in any manner, either in whole or in part, without written permission of the publisher. A&U and the graphic representations thereof are the registered trademarks of Art & Understanding, Inc., a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization. Individual Subscription rates: $24.95 (12 issues). Institutional rates: $80.00 (12 issues). For subscriptions outside the USA and possessions, $30.95/Canada, $49.95/international, payable in advance in U.S. currency. First North American serial rights revert to contributors upon publication.

A&U retains the right to anthologize work in further issues, as well as in microform or reprinting on the Internet within the context of each issue. Statements of writers, artists and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publisher. Readers note: subjects and contributors to A&U are both HIV-positive and HIV-negative. In the absence of a specific statement herein concerning the serostatus of any individual mentioned in, or contributing material to, this publication, no inference is made with respect thereto and none should be implied. Letters written to A&U or its contributors are assumed intended for publication.

Art & Understanding, Inc. assumes no responsibility or liability for unsolicited submissions and does not guarantee the return thereof.

PostMaster: Please send address corrections to A&U Magazine, 25 Monroe Street, Suite 205, Albany NY 12210-2743, USA

Printed in USA • Visit our Web site at www.aumag.org

The Life Aquatic

S

ounds fishy to me! As we go to press, the Olympics are winding down and the suffering of tens of thousands of lives in the state of Louisiana are anything but over. As the world knows by now, the future of Olympic gold swimmers and pranksters Ryan Lochte and his fellow aquatic superstars is murky at best.

After telling a whale of a lie about their supposed abduction by armed bandits, many of Lochte’s corporate sponsors are beginning to jump ship. What was fraternity-like vandalism is now turning into an international incident.

While all this is going on, doesn’t it seem odd that the news media are finally turning their attention to the dire situation in Baton Rouge and other low-lying communities in Louisiana? While millions watched as the American swim team was floundering in their own lies and innuendo, those in real distress were barely keeping their heads above water. With tens of thousands of dollars in lost endorsement money being donated to the poor citizens of Rio’s infamous favelas, there was some sort of justice served, albeit what amounted to spare change from wealthy sports endorsers like Speedo and Ralph Lauren.

Away from the Olympics, at the International AIDS conference in Durban, South Africa, ears were unclogged: The United Nations heralded the news that fifty percent of the world now had access to high quality HIV medicines and that two-thirds of the poz planet would be on antiretrovirals by the next AIDS conference in Amsterdam—a short two years away! This is truly a turnaround and a good sign that HIV is being eliminated or at least reduced as an international threat.

Only if there were a cure on the horizon— not that Bill and Melinda Gates, President Obama, the WHO, and countless NGOs and thousands of scientists aren’t burning the midnight oil to give us all hope that an effective vaccine and an eventual end to AIDS might have a shot at success.

Thank goodness this is happening, but the back page coverage is literally a hush heard all over the world. Maybe major American media outlets can stop being entertainment companies and return to the good old days of covering the news.

Thankfully a superstar of the 1984 and 1988 Olympics—some consider him the greatest diver of all time—and today an advocate, Greg Louganis continues to win gold in the fight against AIDS. In this month’s exclusive interview conducted

by Chip Alfred, Louganis continues to make waves. By participating in Crossing the Line, he is helping newer generations of elite athletes find solid footing as they make the transition into future endeavors. As an HIV long-term survivor, someone who had not expected to live past thirty, he is also sharing what he has learned with others. HIV “was and still is only a mere part of me. It does not define me,” he says.

That sense of empowerment is infused in our features on Davina Conner, aka Pozitively Dee, who nurtures a supportive HIV community on talk radio, and the Elizabeth Taylor 50-Plus Network, which creates a collaborative way for long-term survivors to pool their wisdom and build upon their strengths.

Guest columnists Joshua Middleton and Lewis Nightingale each offer their take on what our community needs to dive back into our dreams and goals.

Hank Trout’s new column, For the Long Run, also highlights the needs of the first generation. As a long-term survivor, Trout seeks to find ways to not only keep on living but to thrive.

Lifesaving medications are good, but they are not enough. All aspects of living need to be addressed, from housing to mental health. Unfair treatment is not to be countenanced. Another new column, Positive Justice, by Chip Alfred, focuses in on exactly that, through the lens of HIV criminalization and health justice.

All seem to be saying: Now that we have plunged deep into caring for our bodies and surfaced for air, what’s next?

Our community might agree that the past need not be an anchor; it can motor us forward. We are not treading water; we are in the swim of life.

DAVID WAGGONER

WHAT IS GENVOYA®?

GENVOYA is a 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years and older. It can either be used in people who are starting HIV-1 treatment and have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements. These include having an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL) for 6 months or more on their current HIV-1 treatment. GENVOYA combines 4 medicines into 1 pill taken once a day with food.

GENVOYA is a complete HIV-1 treatment and should not be used with other HIV-1 medicines.

GENVOYA does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses, you must keep taking GENVOYA. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the EJCPEG QH UGZWCN EQPVCEV YKVJ DQF[ ƃ WKFU 0GXGT TGWUG QT UJCTG PGGFNGU QT QVJGT KVGOU VJCV JCXG DQF[ ƃ WKFU QP VJGO

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION

What is the most important information I should know about GENVOYA? GENVOYA may cause serious side effects:

• Build-up of an acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency. Symptoms of lactic acidosis include feeling very weak or tired, unusual muscle pain, trouble breathing, stomach pain with nausea or vomiting, feeling cold (especially in your arms and legs), feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat.

• Serious liver problems. The liver may become large and fatty. Symptoms of liver problems include your skin or the white part of your eyes turning yellow (jaundice), dark “teacolored” urine, light-colored bowel movements (stools), loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/or stomach pain.

• You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or serious liver problems if you are female, very overweight, or have been taking GENVOYA for a long time. In some cases, lactic acidosis and serious liver problems have led to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any symptoms of these conditions.

• Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. GENVOYA is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV and stop taking GENVOYA, your HBV may suddenly get worse. &Q PQV UVQR VCMKPI )'081;# YKVJQWV Ƃ TUV VCNMKPI VQ [QWT healthcare provider, as they will need to monitor your health.

medicines that should not be taken with GENVOYA. Do not start a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider.

• The herbal supplement St. John’s wort.

• Any other medicines to treat HIV-1 infection.

What are the other possible side effects of GENVOYA? Serious side effects of GENVOYA may also include:

• Changes in body fat, which can happen in people taking HIV-1 medicines.

• Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may IGV UVTQPIGT CPF DGIKP VQ Ƃ IJV KPHGEVKQPU 6GNN [QWT JGCNVJECTG provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking GENVOYA. • Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys.

If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking GENVOYA. • Bone problems, such as bone pain, softening, or thinning, which may lead to fractures. Your healthcare provider may do tests to check your bones.

The most common side effect of GENVOYA is nausea. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effects that bother you or don’t go away.

What should I tell my healthcare provider before taking GENVOYA? • All your health problems. Be sure to tell your healthcare provider if you have or have had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis virus infection.

• All the medicines you take, including prescription and overthe-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements.

Other medicines may affect how GENVOYA works. Keep a list of all your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. Ask your healthcare provider if it is safe to take GENVOYA with all of your other medicines.

• If you take antacids. Take antacids at least 2 hours before or after you take GENVOYA. • If you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if GENVOYA can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking GENVOYA. • If you are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.

Who should not take GENVOYA?

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

• Certain prescription medicines for other conditions. It is important to ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about

Please see Important Facts about GENVOYA including important warnings on the following page.

Do not take GENVOYA if you take:

Ask your healthcare provider if GENVOYA is right for you, and visit GENVOYA.com to learn more.

GENVOYA does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS.

SHOW YOUR

photo by Stuart Locklear

POWER

Take care of what matters most—you. GENVOYA is a 1-pill, once-a-day complete HIV-1 treatment for people who are either new to treatment or people whose healthcare provider determines they can replace their current HIV-1 medicines with GENVOYA.

IMPORTANT FACTS This is only a brief summary of important information about GENVOYA and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

(jen-VOY-uh) MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT GENVOYA

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF GENVOYA

Genvoya® may cause serious side effects, including:

GENVOYA can cause serious side effects, including:

• Build-up of lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms: feeling very weak or tired, unusual muscle pain, trouble breathing, stomach pain with nausea or vomiting, feeling cold (especially in your arms and legs), feeling dizzy or lightheaded, and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat.

• Severe liver problems, which in some cases can lead to death.

Call your healthcare provider right away if you have any of these symptoms: your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice), dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored bowel movements (stools), loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, and/or stomach pain.

• Worsening of Hepatitis B (HBV) infection. GENVOYA is not approved to treat HBV. If you have both HIV-1 and HBV, your HBV may suddenly get worse if you stop taking GENVOYA. Do not stop taking GENVOYA without first talking to your healthcare provider, as they will need to check your health regularly for several months.

You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female, very overweight, or have been taking GENVOYA for a long time.

• Those in the “Most Important Information About GENVOYA” section.

• Changes in body fat.

• Changes in your immune system.

• New or worse kidney problems, including kidney failure.

• Bone problems.

The most common side effect of GENVOYA is nausea.

These are not all the possible side effects of GENVOYA. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you have any new symptoms while taking GENVOYA. Your healthcare provider will need to do tests to monitor your health before and during treatment with GENVOYA. BEFORE TAKING GENVOYA Tell your healthcare provider if you:

• Have or had any kidney, bone, or liver problems, including hepatitis infection.

• Have any other medical condition.

ABOUT GENVOYA

• Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.

• GENVOYA is a prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in people 12 years of age and older who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before. GENVOYA can also be used to replace current HIV-1 medicines for some people who have an undetectable viral load (less than 50 copies/mL of virus in their blood), and have been on the same HIV-1 medicines for at least 6 months and have never failed HIV-1 treatment, and whose healthcare provider determines that they meet certain other requirements.

• GENVOYA does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. Ask your healthcare provider about how to prevent passing HIV-1 to others.

Do NOT take GENVOYA if you: • Take a medicine that contains: alfuzosin (Uroxatral®), carbamazepine (Carbatrol®, Epitol®, Equetro®, Tegretol®, Tegretol-XR®, Teril®), cisapride (Propulsid®, Propulsid Quicksolv®), dihydroergotamine (D.H.E. 45®, Migranal®), ergotamine (Cafergot®, Migergot®, Ergostat®, Medihaler Ergotamine®, Wigraine®, Wigrettes®), lovastatin (Advicor®, Altoprev®, Mevacor®), methylergonovine (Ergotrate®, Methergine®), midazolam (when taken by mouth), phenobarbital (Luminal®), phenytoin (Dilantin®, Phenytek®), pimozide (Orap®), rifampin (Rifadin®, Rifamate®, Rifater®, Rimactane®), sildenafil when used for lung problems (Revatio®), simvastatin (Simcor®, Vytorin®, Zocor®), or triazolam (Halcion®).

• Take the herbal supplement St. John’s wort.

• Take any other HIV-1 medicines at the same time.

• Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby.

Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take:

• Keep a list that includes all prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist.

• Ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist about medicines that should not be taken with GENVOYA. HOW TO TAKE GENVOYA

• GENVOYA is a complete one pill, once a day HIV-1 medicine.

• Take GENVOYA with food.

GET MORE INFORMATION

• This is only a brief summary of important information about GENVOYA. Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist to learn more.

• Go to GENVOYA.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5 • If you need help paying for your medicine, visit GENVOYA.com for program information.

GENVOYA, the GENVOYA Logo, GILEAD, and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc., or its related companies. All other marks are the property of their respective owners.

Version date: November 2015 © 2016 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. GENC0048 04/16

x o b l i ma Alternative Music I’m afraid I have never heard of this musician by the name of John Grant [cover story, “Richly Deserved,” by Dann Dulin,

learned to take care of himself. I wish him good luck.

—Mark Van Stuyvesant New Orleans, Louisiana

I would like to hear some more of John Grant’s music, as I loved his song, “Glacier.” The duet with Kylie Minogue was stellar. It is a bit somber for me— not fun like I expected. He definitely

Nine Lives It was great to see Julie Newmar in your magazine [NewsBreak, July 2016].

I had not seen or heard about Julie for many, many years. She is one of my idols from the fifties and sixties. She made so many great movies, but she is best known as the famous Catwoman on TV’s Batman, starring Adam West and Burt Ward. It’s good that she helps with LGBT and HIV/ AIDS causes and is still going strong.

And she just still looks good. I would say, “Absolutely Fabulous.”

—Valery St. James Santa Monica, California

“John Grant made an interesting comment: ‘Being positive was one of the greatest things that happened to me.’...

Sometimes a good attitude helps a lot in fighting a disease.”

Seeing Is Believing

photo by Sean Black

Seeing the photographs of all the people suffering from AIDS taken by Nicholas Nixon [Gallery, July 2016] brought back so many memories from the eighties and nineties to me. (Yes, “suffering” is the correct word; people who died of AIDS-related causes didn’t just vanish into thin air when they died.) It’s hard to believe that was the face of AIDS not too long ago. The new meds have changed a lot. All the photos touched me.

—Jill Montague Tabell Laredo, Texas

July 2016]. From what I have read so far, it seems like another case of sex, drugs, and rock and roll—so many artists have gone down the same road. A lot of these music artists seem to engage in destructive behavior; some seem to find their way out, but many die before they become old. As people living with HIV, we really need to encourage ourselves and others to practice self-care. Fortunately Grant seems to have SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

needs exposure in America. John Grant made an interesting comment: “Being positive was one of the greatest things that happened to me. It caused me to get more serious about being in recovery, too.” I never heard anyone so positive about being HIV-positive. Sometimes a good attitude helps a lot in fighting a disease. Thanks for a great interview.

—Susan Sandrich Sewell Melbourne, Florida

Send e-mail to: mailbox@aumag.org Send letters to: Mailbox, A&U, 25 Monroe Street, Suite 205, Albany, NY 12210 Or click on “Mailbox” on our Web site’s home page: www.aumag.org Tweet Us @au_magazine Facebook: http://on.fb.me/AUFANPAGE All correspondence requires name, address, and daytime phone number for confirmation. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

11

poetry

Lines on my HIV Test

“Glory and light of poets! now may that zeal and love’s apprenticeship that I poured out on your heroic verses serve me well!”

—Dante Alighieri

It’s not that I mind the sight of blood, needles, or gauze— But I can’t pretend to read The New Yorker in this waiting room Without feeling more nervous, lost, or already like a ghost.

Still, I have to sit, sweating as my thoughts race and roam: I remember how the heat of the subway made me think of hell, And, sitting now, I hear that hell and heal offer an almost-rhyme.

Here makes me think of hell too, hot and lonely. Then, like Virgil, You finally call my name. I manage a small smile, then I follow close behind. How many fellow sinners suffered this same vigil, I wonder. Will you be my guide? Introduce me to some sinning fellows On our way down the inferno? Can you tell me, why is it that what we’re supposed to resist is also what makes life worth living? I allow You to search my arm, but you offer no answers; the only one waits Here in my veins. Truth requires a bit of blood, one way or the other, But I never expected so much to be mine, at needlepoint, while my fate Fills a vial. Would I like my results? Read those spinning tubes, Doctor Virgil. Lead me down and show me what I’ve got to lose.

—Mike Zimmerman A finalist for A&U’s 2016 Christopher Hewitt Award in Poetry, Mike Zimmerman is a writer of short stories and poetry, as well as a high school English teacher in the South Bronx. His previous work has been published in Wilde Magazine, Cutbank, and The Painted Bride. He is the 2015 recipient of the Oscar Wilde Award from Gival Press. He finds inspiration and ideas from the people and places he loves. Mike lives in New York City with his partner and their cat.

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A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

Justin— I need your help. I’m writing from Ghana, where every gay person is living in the closet.

I’m married with kids. I recently had sex (I was top) with a guy without a condom (that was very foolish of me) who was about nineteen years-old and who I met on Facebook. A day after the regrettable act I noticed a spot of discharge in my pants; I did not take it seriously because I foolishly thought a pubic hair might have pricked the urethra and that it would stop on its own.

I waited about eighteen days until I saw a doctor. My urine test showed presence of bacteria and a urethra swab showed presence of staph bureaus. I took a number of antibiotics. The discharge stopped after a day of taking antibiotics. My wife got infected in the process and was given antibiotics after a urine test and then a uterus swab and blood tests when she complained of lower abdominal pains.

Both of us had some headaches and fever, which were treated. I am still nursing a mild headache. I’m so scared that I might have contracted HIV during this single gay sex encounter. I know I have to go for a test but I’m scared. If it’s

14

positive how do I tell my wife and ask her to go for a test too? Not a day passes without me weeping and praying that my wife should not be positive even if I am. She’s a good woman and indeed the backbone of the family and the pillar against which the children lean. Please help. Do I have HIV? I have never been able to have more than a two-hour sleep in the night for about two months since this happened.

—Ivory Let me say that it is really heartbreaking that there are people in the closet because of the fear that is related to being open about who you love. Some of my readers don’t know that in some countries one can be jailed or even killed simply because of stigma and fear of what people don’t understand. This fear of not being able to be who you are directly contributes to increased HIV infection rates. One cannot protect oneself if one is not proud of who they are. Now let us address your problem, Ivory.

When there is a possible infection of a sexually transmitted infection (STI), I believe that one will benefit to get tested for all of them. Frequently STIs come in clusters, and, also, people don’t realize they have an STI because they are not showing any

symptoms. I’ve never heard of a headache being a symptom of HIV but that doesn’t mean that you and your wife should not be tested for HIV. I know you are scared but it is better to get tested early. If one gets tested for HIV early there is more of a chance of survival and less chance of opportunistic infections to develop.

I cannot tell you whether you have HIV or not—the only way that you will know is if you get tested. You need to be tested as soon as possible. You say your wife is the pillar of your family; the only way a pillar stays strong is to take care of it. Also you might want to invest in HIV preventative measures. The more traditional preventative measure is a condom. But if one is not available you might want to try pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), which is a pill taken once a day that significantly decreases the risk of HIV transmission. Keep in mind that PrEP only decreases your chance of being infected with HIV; PrEP doesn’t protect you from other STIs, such as chlamydia or gonorrhea. In Ghana researchers conducted a study on PrEP and sexual behavior. The study found that people who went on PrEP did not have an increase in their sexual activity. Bottom line—get tested!! ◊ A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

photo by Don Harris © Don Harris Photographics, LLC. all rights reserved

Justin B. Terry-Smith, MPH, has been fighting the good fight since 1999. He’s garnered recognition and awards for his work, but he’s more concerned about looking for new ways to transform society for the better than resting on his laurels. He started up in gay rights and HIV activism in 2005, published an HIV-themed children’s book, I Have A Secret (Creative House Press) in 2011, and created his own award-winning video blog called, “Justin’s HIV Journal”: justinshivjournal. blogspot.com. Presently, he is working toward his doctorate in public health. Visit his main Web site at www.justinbsmith.com. He welcomes your questions at jsmithco98@hotmail.com.

NEWSBREAK On October 1, AIDS Run & Walk Chicago will lace up its sneakers at Chicago’s Soldier Field to raise awareness about HIV stigma, PrEP, and the needs of those living with HIV/AIDS, as well as to raise funds for Illinoisans in need of HIV/AIDS-related and other services. AIDS Foundation of Chicago (AFC), the organizer of the event and its primary beneficiary, relies on funding events like this to help carry out its mission. AIDS Foundation of Chicago’s strategic priorities are numerous but interconnected— prevent new infections, act as a collaborative and knowledge-sharing hub, support priority populations, advocate for positive change, and fight for health equity. In terms of health equity, the nonprofit seeks to build upon its recent track record of strengthening AIDS Run & Walk Chicago 2015 ties between 5,480 individuals and their healthcare resources through the largest HIV case management system in the U.S.; established partnerships with managed care organizations that increased new revenue and help 300 highly vulnerable people to re-engage in care; and prevented 291 households from losing their homes, utilities, and other resources through one-time emergency housing payments.

In the face of significant budget shortfalls due to Illinois’ state budget crisis, thirty-three organizations, AFC’s CommunityDirect partners, which serve communities across Chicago’s South, West and North sides, as well as surrounding counties, will receive ninety percent of the funds their teams raise through AIDS Run & Walk Chicago.

This year’s event, which offers a 5K walk, 5K run and 10K run, is organized around the theme of the importance of unity and partnership in responding to health crises. The organizers, volunteers, supporters, and participants will come together to end new HIV infections and support individuals living with HIV and other chronic illnesses.

To register as an individual or as a team, or to donate, log on to: www.aidsrunwalk.org or call (312) 334-0946. Online registration ends Sunday, September 25.

Negligible Risk In light of recent study results and ongoing research, Prevention Access Campaign is helping to make the public aware that there is a negligible risk for an individual who is undetectable to transmit HIV. The NGO, committed to health equity, recently initiated a first-of-its-kind consensus statement, signed by HIV/AIDS researchers, global leaders, and health workers, among others, that supports the evidence-based conclusion that a person who is on antiretroviral therapy and has suppressed his or her viral load, the amount of HIV in a sample of an individual’s blood, to undetectable levels consistently for six months or longer. An undetectable viral load means the virus is under control and offers many health benefits to someone living with HIV, such as keeping the immune system as strong as possible and, often, a sense of empowerment. Prevention Access Campaign supports the idea that “undetectable = uninfectious” also helps individuals living with HIV by reducing decades-long HIV-related stigma and discrimination and by encouraging them to start treatment and adhere to an antiretroviral regimen that works for them. Currently, an estimated thirty percent of people living with HIV in the U.S. are undetectable.

Signatories include experts from the U.S., Australia, Denmark, and Switzerland, including principal investigators and experts from each of the leading studies that have studied risk of transmission and undetectable viral loads: Dr. Myron Cohen, chief of the Division of Infectious Diseases at UNC School of Medicine and the Principal Investigator of HPTN 052; Dr. Jens Lundgren (PARTNER study; University of Copenhagen, Denmark), Dr. Andrew Grulich (Opposites Attract study; University of New South Wales, Australia); and Dr. Pietro Vernazza

16

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

photo by Dan Paterno/PaternoGroup.com

AIDS Run & Walk Chicago

NewsBreak

(PARTNER study; Swiss statement; Cantonal Hospital, St. Gallen, Switzerland).

Dr Demetre Daskalakis, Assistant Commissioner for the Bureau of HIV/AIDS at the New York City Health Department, became the first U.S. public health official to endorse the consensus statement.

“Several strong lines of evidence indicate that consistent viral suppression is truly HIV prevention. Given these empiric findings, New Yorkers living with HIV who take their antiretrovirals consistently and have suppressed viral loads should be confident that their risk of HIV transmission is negligible,” stated Dr. Daskalakis in a prepared release. “Being sure about your own health by taking HIV medications means playing and staying sure for your entire community. The challenge is to sustain viral suppression by maintaining a relationship with an HIV healthcare provider who can support continued and consistent antiretroviral adherence.”

While only about a third of those living with HIV in the U.S. have suppressed the virus to an undetectable level, New York has shown that this number can be improved significantly. Recent surveillance data shows that seventy-two percent of New Yorkers have suppressed and controlled their virus.

Prevention Access Campaign is led by “a founding task force of prominent HIV activists, researchers and media experts to end the dual epidemics of HIV and HIV-related stigma by expanding access to HIV prevention and empowering people with and vulnerable to HIV with accurate and meaningful information.”

For more information about Prevention Access Campaign, log on to: www.preventionaccess.org.

APLA Health in Long Beach APLA Health recently celebrated the grand opening of its newest location in Los Angeles County: Long Beach. Originally opend this past winter with limited services, the 7,000-square-foot Long Beach Health Center is now fully completed and operational. As a federally qualified health center funded in part by a $650,000 grant from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Health Resources and Services Administration, the health center provides primary medical care, dental, PrEP counseling and management, HIV testing and STD screening and treatment, health insurance enrollment assistance, vaccinations and behavioral healthcare services, with a capacity to provide vital services (in English and Spanish) to 5,000 patients per year. Services are free and low-cost, provided on a sliding-fee scale.

“Culturally competent health care is not a luxury. All individuals should have access to services that keep them healthy and providers who understand them,” APLA Health CEO Craig E. Thompson said in a prepared release. “Our new health center is designed to address the specific needs of medically underserved communities and particularly LGBT individuals, who experience higher rates of depression and substance abuse, among other issues. We’re proud to be a part of the strong community network in Long Beach and ensure people can comfortably access care they need.”

For more information, log on to: www.apla.org.

photo by Travis Shinn © 2016

Kiehl’s LifeRide for amfAR The seventh annual Kiehl’s LifeRide for amfAR gathered motorcycle-riding supporters for another successful run, with participants such as rugby star and anti-bullying advocate Ben Cohen and actress/ model Nina Senicar, among many others, traveling through multiple states, starting in New York City and looping back to Philadelphia and making high-profile pit stops along the way at Kiehl’s stores. Each year the LifeRide fuels HIV awareness and research funding. Over the past six years, Kiehl’s, makers of natural skin care, beauty, and cosmetics for face, body, and hair, has raised $1.6 million for amfAR, providing funding for eight cure-related research projects.

This year, the eleven-day, 1,100-mile event raised $150,000 and proceeds will go to a cure-focused research project led by Satish Pillai, PhD, Associate Investigator at the Blood Systems Research Institute and Associate Professor of Laboratory Medicine at the University of California, San Francisco. The project focuses on understanding more about HIV reservoirs, where the virus lies dormant even if an individual has suppressed his or Left to right: At Kiehl’s flagship store, Chris Salgardo, President of her viral load to an undetectable level on antiretroviral therapy.

Kiehl’s USA, presents a check to amfAR CEO Kevin Frost in front of Reaching the HIV reservoir has been a significant trouble spot LifeRide participants; in the immediate background are Jay Ellis [A&U, in the search for a therapeutic cure. With an eye toward building May 2015], Milissa and Teddy Sears [A&U, April 2016], and Gilles Marini a knowledge base for developing anti-latency drugs, Dr. Pillai is [A&U, October 2015]. studying two cellular proteins, p21 and schaflen 11, that keep the virus in its hidden state and are present in HIV-infected people with the smallest reservoir. The well-respected researcher is also on the leadership team for the San Francisco-based amfAR Institute for HIV Cure Research.

For more information about amfAR, The Foundation for AIDS Research, log on to: www.amfar.org.

SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

17

by Ruby Comer

A

nother one bites the dust!

We’ve lost so many ultra-talented people recently—Prince, Muhammed Ali, Patty Duke (Neely O’Hara in Valley of the Dolls!), Natalie Cole, Alan Rickman, Anton Yelchin (my god, a freak accident at such a young age) and Holy Lordie, even David Bowie. Yawza!

Speaking of “Another One Bites The Dust,” the song was written by the late great Freddie Mercury, lead vocalist for the rock band Queen, who died of AIDS-related causes in November 1991.

(The rest of the band consisted of Brian May, Roger Taylor, and John Deacon.)

Diagnosed in 1987, the public only found out of his illness two days before he died.

He was forty-five years-old. Even if you were born after 1990, trust me, you’ve heard Queen songs!

I was such a Freddie freak! His commanding voice and macho, outrageous

22

flair captivated me. He was magnetic. He…had…“it!”

Directly after his death, one of Queen’s biggest hits, “Bohemian Rhapsody,” was rereleased as a Christmas single in the U.K., landing at number one on the charts, and raising more than a million pounds for the Terence Higgins Trust AIDS charity. When it was rereleased in the U.S., profits benefited the Magic Johnson Foundation, which dispersed funds to other AIDS charities.

In 1992, Brain May and Roger Taylor, and their manager, Jim Beach, established The Mercury Phoenix Trust in honor of Freddie, which still raises money today for AIDS. Several years after his death, a striking statue was erected of Freddie in this lakefront town of Montreux, Switzerland (created by artist Irena Sedlecká). He kept a home here, a place where he felt at peace. Queen often recorded here, too, alongside Lake Geneva, overlooking the majestic Alps. Soon after it was dedicated, Ms. Ruby was in Geneva visiting the UNAIDS headquarters, a worldwide organization. One day, I rented a car and drove an hour to Montreux to visit “my” Freddie. With tears on my cheeks, I laid roses next to his feet.

Freddie would have been seventy years-old this year, but his spirit lives! The dynamic performer is kept alive in various forms. Queen still performs, even though original Left to right: Sir Tim Rice, member John Deacon retired. Over Lesley-Ann Jones, and Brian May the past several years, Adam Lambert has stepped in as lead vocalist for the group. In 2002, We Will Rock

You, a musical fantasy of Queen songs, premiered in London’s West End where it played to packed houses until 2014. The show continues performing around the globe. In March of this year, it opened in São Paulo, Brazil. Yours truly has seen it five times. At the end of the show, the audience can’t resist standing to sing along with the electric cast. It’s an ethereal, emotional sensation!

Recently, I read the mesmerizing definitive biography, Mercury, by rock journalist Lesley-Ann Jones, who met Freddie in 1984 when she interviewed him. As she says in her book, Freddie had the “wow factor.” Lesley-Ann became friends with him, which afforded her a glimpse into his world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

While putting the finishing touches on her new book, Hero, a biography of David Bowie, whom she met when she was eleven, I Skype the writer in her London home. (Hero is being released this month.)

I call Lesley-Ann and am greeted by a perky pretty smiley face.

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

Ruby illustration by Davidd Batalon; event photo © L. Jones; portrait by Dave Hogan

Lesley-Ann Jones

causes AIDS, but that HIV and AIDS are not the same thing.

You’ve “learned” your kids well.

My point being that education makes the difference. Many people of my generation have less than the vaguest grasp of the facts. [I bob my head in agreement.]

I sat in a marketing meeting in a major London publishing house recently, and gasped audibly when a publicist said, “but people aren’t dying of AIDS anymore, right?”

photo © L. Jones; Queen photo © Mick Rock, 1974, 2016

Ruby Comer: I’m so new to all this technology. Lesley-Ann, bear with me. [I fiddle with a couple of keyboard buttons and position myself so she can see me better.]

Okay that does it. Nice…to… meet...you! I totally ate up your book, finishing it within a few days. I couldn’t put it down! [She nods with gratitude.] What calls to mind when I say “AIDS”?

Lesley-Ann Jones: That it’s not a word!

[She expresses this emphatically, with a raise of an eyebrow.] I’m the most irritating pedant in the world, as my children will tell you. [She has three.] I’m also passionate about acronyms, and it’s always worth spelling this one out: Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. It annoys the hell out of me whenever I read “Aids” in print, lower-case.

You tell it damn straight!

Any of my kids’ teenage friends could tell you off the top of their heads that people with AIDS have a heightened susceptibility to deadly infections, cancer, and certain neurological disdorders.

They could also tell you that HIV—human immunodeficiency virus— SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

Oh, my…hits me right here [pointing toward my broken heart]. How did you learn that Freddie was infected?

By osmosis. The rumors about his health began in about September 1986, after Queen played their last-ever concert as the original band at Knebworth Park that August. The Murdoch press led the charge, of course. The Sun was all over it.

They paid a paparazzo, Jason Fraser, a big chunk of money to stalk him relentlessly.

Fraser got photos of Freddie emerging from a specialist’s consulting rooms in

Oy! My God! Merciful heavens.

[She lifts her sparkling browns upward, annoyed, and continues.] Our priority must be to make education and the medicines available in every second and third-world country. We still have a long way to go to find a cure.

Alas, we do. When did you last see Freddie, Lesley-Ann? February 1990 at the BRIT Awards in London. Queen received the Outstanding Contribution to British Music Award.

They filed up on stage to accept it, and the whole room was in shock. Freddie looked terrible. He was dressed in pale blue, had his hair closely cropped, and the illness was there for all to see. It was heartbreaking. Brian [May] did all the talking, and Freddie said nothing until right at the end. He stepped forward to the microphone, and muttered, “Thank you…Good night.” They were his final words spoken in public. He was saying goodbye to the music industry that had given him a magnificent career.

Jones with Peter Freestone, Mercury’s former personal assistant

the Harley Street area, where the London private doctors see patients, and the rumor mill cranked into action. It never stopped. It was as if they weren’t going to be satisfied until they had his head on a plate. Freddie was being held up as the prime example of “what happens to you when you pursue a promiscuous and degrading lifestyle.”

How utterly sad….

It was heartless, disgracefully judgmental, and it made a lot of people angry with the press. The phone of Roxy Meade, Queen’s PR, was ringing off the hook.

She was instructed by Jim Beach, their manager, to deny everything, and that’s precisely what she did, as did the other members of Queen. Everyone lied and said that Freddie was fine. They lied because he wanted them to. They respected and honored the wishes of their friend. So continued on page 62

23

In Search of Hope

in the wake of shootings, aim for living your best life

24

dy in Orlando happened, I contacted a friend of mine who shared with me her feelings about what took place. My friend Tara is a native Texan who had her share of the mountain life of Colorado. When I asked Tara how she identifies herself, she stated that she does not “categorize herself as anything. I prefer to just say that I’ve never been interested in men.”

Therefore, I thought it would be best that she would share her story to shed some light on the Orlando issue. Tara informed me that her first thought and feelings about the Orlando attack was in “assuming that it was an ISIS hate crime towards people in general.” When I asked how was she able to get through these recent crises, she said, “I did not have anyone to turn to. In fact, I released my stress and anger while at the gym.” I hate to say it, but there are far too many people who, like my friend Tara, do not have anyone to turn to. There are many reasons why they are alone in difficult times. One reason is due to the lack of understanding of another person’s pain.

Another reason is the harsh judgment from people when they are categorized as someone/something different. Compassion should be at the forefront of mankind, but oftentimes it is left behind.

Many of us are tired of all the bloodshed here at home. Right in our backyards people are losing the most valuable and important gift that any man or woman can ever receive. They are losing their lives. Life is precious but, if we are not careful, life can pass us by really quickly because time waits for no man.

Many Americans can relate to Tara and how she felt about the Orlando crisis. For African Americans we can relate to the feelings of multiple hate crimes. People must understand that we have to learn to accept one another because at the end of the day only God can judge us.

Black on black crime is just as bad as police brutality. In fact, it is worse because we are killing one another when we need each other to survive. It’s easy to blame the next person for the wrongful actions that we meditated on before we carried them out, but the truth is we

all have to face the harsh consequences of our wrongdoing. However, it is not our job to extend the ultimate punishment by taking another person’s life.

After all, it is a life that you did not give.

The Orlando shooter did just that.

He planned the hurtful act so exactly that he involved his wife, and, when I asked Tara how she felt about the choice that the wife made, she responded by saying “this could have been prevented if this b!%tch would have reached out to authorities.” She went on to say that “she needs to take the charges that her husband would have been charged with.”

Life is too precious and sometimes it is cut off too short. Therefore, since no one knows when it is their time to leave this great planet than we should make every effort to make our lives beautiful and enjoyable.

As always, I must continue to encourage my readers to do their best to live their best life. Therefore, strive hard to make your book of life as colorful and bright as you possibly can. Life is too short for just one dull page to be written in your book.

Therefore, in search for hope as you write your book, make it beautiful and may the words on your last page be written, “I’ve lived my best life.”

Tyeshia Alston is an HIV-positive AIDS activist and educator living in Dallas, Texas.

Ms. Alston strives to build hope, increase faith, and encourage others to live their best life. Ms. Alston is a mother of a handsome two-year-old boy. She is driven to educate others about HIV/AIDS by creating community awareness programs and providing HIV/AIDS services through her organization, SAAVED INC. Ms. Alston has traveled to Washington, D.C., to speak with legislators about better healthcare access and how the disease has impacted communities which she serves and has served on panels for National Minority AIDS Council and other local organizations.

Lastly, she is known to others by bringing her message to local talk shows and radio stations, working to do her part in ending AIDS. To learn more about Ms. Alston’s work, go to www.saaved.org and if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email her at saaved2heal@gmail.com.

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

I

t’s crazy how overnight things have changed. In a blink of an eye, many have died from the hands of another.

It’s painful to think that these catastrophic events were caused by some sort of prejudice that was the root behind it all. Those simple itty bitty things have caused many to fall. Many have fallen because of colors. Red against blue, white against black and now the boys in blue are in the midst of a wild, wild West cowboy showdown. Many have fallen because of difference of opinions, many were sacrificed for the sake of the flag and many have fallen just because someone simply does not like another or is just plain mad.

It’s sad to say, but we are living in a society where the things that are truly important go lacking. So many issues without positive resolutions have overshadowed the essence of the real problem at hand. The lack of compassion for all of humanity is the biggest problem of all. For instance, there have been far too many women who have been injured by another woman just because she felt as if the other woman was trying to take her man; never stopping to consider that the relationship will never last if their trust for their mate resembles a cigarette lighter’s flame. No one needs the flame of a cigarette lighter for long. The flame is only needed for a moment to fulfill its mission and then the flame is gone.

If the flame of your relationship only sparks when someone pushes a button then I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the other woman is not your problem. Your problem started where your trust ended.

In June, many people died by the hands of a shooter and today another man died by the hands of a shooter. Both were senseless acts of hatred. Both were committed with the vengeance of hatred but only one was televised through the lens of compassion.

Orlando brought the world together while Baton Rouge and Minneapolis set us apart. Esau and Jacob are still battling in the womb—only this time we are all being consumed.

A few months ago, when the trage-

viewfinder

The Orgasm Outside of Sex finding intimacy in life where we don’t normally look

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

I

hated my life. To the outside world, I was a twenty-eight-year-old mover and shaker. I was a young black man, with two degrees and a managerial job in the finance department of a top 20 college that made my grandmother’s heart proud, and yet I was broken down and depressed.

Silently, going to work every day with a smile on my face, making all the brunches and events, full of hugs and air kisses as I went through my normal day to day wearing “the mask” to hide my pain. Although this should have been what I wanted, deep down I knew it was for show.

Then one day, I sat down and I had a talk with myself to find out what brought me the most pleasure in life.

Sex was the resounding answer in my head. Sex was where I got the most pleasure, that orgasmic euphoric feeling that made me feel good about who I was and erased the pain away if only for a moment. I then thought to myself, “What is my orgasm outside of sex?”

That’s when it hit me, that I had never found out what happiness, joy, and euphoria was outside of my bedroom.

This thought process caused me to analyze every facet of my life and take an in-depth look at what my purpose was on this earth and whether I was fulfilling it. By this time, I had taken up writing and had a few published pieces, but never thought about it seriously enough to pursue as a career. I had also begun unbeknownst to me the first steps of walking into Black LGBTQ and HIV activism as my voice began growing louder in media with the follows, likes and retweets increasing. I was at a crossroads and I knew that only a walk on faith would provide. I started looking for clips on inspiration and landed on who else but Steve Harvey talking about “taking the jump.” As I watched the video I teared up, because I knew what it felt like to want to do something that I had passion for, but being too afraid to jump. I had watched family members for years with the idea and notion of doing the same but never willing to “let go and let God.” For me, things would SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

be different. I could no longer take the pain, the misery, or any of it and I wanted to find my orgasm. That feeling that when I got to work every day I could smile and just be happy to just be.

So I did it. It was January of 2015 and I applied to a position in the field of HIV to do community work and increase my activism around my community. This move was not only a test of faith, but one of my pockets. I took a (deep breath) $18,000 pay cut to follow my passion and pursue a love of life and work like none I had ever felt before. I was scared at first because I didn’t know if I could make it with that much of a financial change. That is when I learned the beauty of finding that intimacy with work and aligning it with passion to create the orgasm outside of the bedroom. My life completely changed when I tested positive in 2010, and I never thought I would see the silver lining in that situation. I learned what strength was past the diagnosis. I learned that this virus was only a part of my life, and would be the motivating force to help others while also helping myself.

I sat my ass down and began to write and pitch and write and pitch. I knew that I was going to need to supplement my income and taking that leap of faith forced me to learn what intimacy, passion, and building a relationship with work looked like in direct correlation with how I built sexual relationships.

I began to date my work. Learned what I liked to write about and what I didn’t.

I wrote about HIV, health, testing and treatment, black LGBTQ issues, education, and anything I wanted to talk about.

Each published article giving me another sexual encounter with every comment, share, like, follow, and retweet serving as another orgasm with the work I had begun doing. Within months the pay cut had become null and void as I was making more money than I had before and for the first time found happiness outside of my bedroom.

Now two years into this career, fiftyplus published articles later, I still get that rush of joy and euphoria each time a pitch is accepted or an editor sends me the “it’s posted” link. I felt the need to tell this story, because I watch so many others live in silence. We always discuss whose head game was good, or whose sex was on point, but many are not able to take that type of experience and apply it to any other area of their life that they may find lacking.

In telling my truth, I can only hope that others will read this and take the time to sit down and ask, “What is my orgasm outside of sex?” Trust me, once you find it, it’ll change your life.

George M. Johnson is an HIV advocate who works for Us Helping Us, People into Living.

Inc., located in Washington, D.C. He has written for Pride.com, Musedmagonline.com, Blavity. com, Rolereboot.org, and Ebony.com. Follow him on Twitter @IamGMJohnson.

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Serodifferent, Not Discordant partners may have different statuses, but they can be attuned to each other’s sexual health

W

ell, it’s finally here.

I, and many of us, have been waiting for it with bated breath.

Another study, this one much more conclusive, that tells us what we’ve long suspected about the transmission of HIV. It’s been found that condomless sex, what many of us desire and hope for, carries almost no risk of transmission between partners where one is negative and not on PrEP and the other positive and undergoing treatment with an undetectable viral load. This is as true for heterosexual couples as it is for gay male couples.

Could this be the game changer we’ve been hoping for?

An earlier study in 2008 said much the same. What’s now commonly referred to as the Swiss Statement, due to its country of origin, had a few flaws however. At the time, I had an informative discussion about its findings when I approached my doctor in what could fairly be described as a “smug” state of satisfaction. To me, logic already dictated that if the virus was undetectable in my body fluids, then certainly I was not infectious and this study bore me out. “Not so fast,” said he, always happy to burst my proverbial bubble and teach me something. The study in Switzerland was limited to heterosexual couples and did not take into account anal sex, always the gold standard of HIV transmission. He did inform me of the study I’m talking about today, but it was in its earlier stages then and needed much more time.

Well, the time is here and the findings are compelling. The new PARTNER Study, this time out of Denmark, tracked 888 couples, two-thirds heterosexual and one-third gay male.

The numbers are not perfect, but they are startling. The risk in male-female couples not using condoms was .03 percent. In male couples, only slightly higher, .07 percent. Eleven partners did contract HIV, but findings showed they contracted it outside of

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their relationships. The results were recently published in the July 12 issue of The Journal of the American Medical Association. By contrast, the efficacy of PrEP among supposedly compliant and recently tested male sexual partners varies by report from ninety to ninety-nine percent. Compliance with a medication regimen as well as regular testing is of vital importance in both negative individuals on PrEP as well as serodifferent partners. The findings concluded no increased risk of transmission with other STIs, but risk of contracting them must always be considered.

Now, what does this mean for us, the men and women, gay and straight, who are living with HIV every day taking advantage of current treatment models and leading healthy, long, productive lives? There are two sides of the coin. For myself, positive and undetectable, it means that first I can relax a little in my casual sexual encounters. That said, I still feel strongly about my continued obligation to inform any and all potential partners of my status. This still means awkward conversations and a high likelihood of rejection. If I wasn’t successful in talking a man into having safe sex with a condom in this small city, I’m unlikely to sway him with these new findings. With as seemingly little attention this study has gotten in the media thus far, a gay male population with woefully inadequate knowledge of HIV and AIDS, already will remain unswayed. Luckily for me, turning a quick trick has lost many of its charms anyway; it’s just not where my head’s at. I hope, and feel ready for, a solid relationship, hopefully leading to marriage. As far as potential mates, I’ve cast a much wider net and I’m talking to men further afield. The last one didn’t pan out. We were both positive, however, and that was an important selling point. There was no need to worry about transmission. And yes, I’ve heard about the case of reinfection with a different strain. That was

not something we worried about.

All along though, throughout the many false starts and disappointments of that interaction, there’s been someone else. A little further afield is someone who’s first and foremost a dear friend regardless of what will or won’t develop between us. He is in fact negative but well informed, ready to go on PrEP, and tolerant of a small risk of transmission. This new study was great news for us. We have an incredible sexual energy and dialogue between us.

I’ve rarely met someone as compatible with my sexual needs and fantasies.

We both want there to be no barrier between us. We want to be as intimate as two people can be and for us, that means sex without a condom. We will meet soon and its very important to me that he still be on PrEP, even after these new findings. He feels that he should be on it anyway, so there’s no conflict there. I want every protection available stopping short of a condom; and with these advances in research and protection, it looks like we will be fine. Bryan is very special to me and I want to be cautious.

What this all boils down to is the need to have an open, honest, and running dialogue with our partners.

Ultimately, I feel, the final decisions as far as protection and prevention lie with the negative partner however.

If that means a condom, that means a condom. We all need to talk about this new research as much as possible.

The news needs to be told and spread, information is powerful. There was a very powerful slogan in the early ACT UP movement that you still hear today: Silence=Death. Both we and our partners owe it to ourselves and each other to stay educated and informed.

John Francis Leonard is an advocate and writer, as well as a voracious reader of literature, which helps to feed his love of the English language. He has been living with HIV for thirteen years and he is currently at work on his first novel, Fools Rush In. Follow him on Twitter @JohnFrancisleo2.

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

SOMETIMES, OUR HIGEST HEIGHTS HAPPEN

LONG BEFORE TAKEOFF. Proud to partner with the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation.

I

am HIV-positive and, yes, I also live with depression. That’s right, I said it.

The big “D” word that no one wants to say. Let me share with you my perspective on an epidemic possibly far bigger than any we have ever faced before.

On a recent trip, as I bicycled over the Golden Gate Bridge, the reality of what has become such a taboo subject really hit home. The architectural masterpiece that is visited by swarms of tourists a year also sits above a graveyard where thousands have succumbed to the seemingly neverending battle with mental health issues, namely depression.

Just as the marine layer began to lift, I peered over to my right towards another iconic Bay Area piece of history, the infamous Alcatraz Prison. Imagine being imprisoned in such a place. Four walls confining you from freedom with only a glimpse of the outside world. A place that has entrances and exits but, despite knowing how to get out, you can’t seem to accomplish it. Happiness and joy are taken from you and the reality is the vastness of time that is ahead of you. It seems you are just going through the motions. The worst part of it is, no one talks about what you are going through; it’s as if you don’t exist. You are left with a feeling of isolation, cast out from society. Now you know what it is like for someone who lives with depression.

Ironically, both are located in San Francisco, a city that has been majorly affected by the virus since the beginning of the AIDS epidemic. Although some statistics show that sixty percent of individuals who are living with HIV are also living with depression and that we are three times more likely to become depressed, society as a whole doesn’t care to talk about it. It’s uncomfortable, awkward, and foreign to those who haven’t experienced it.

Its effects on someone living with HIV range from the extreme cases of suicide to other issues such a decline in treatment adherence, substance abuse, and an overall reduction to quality of life.

Did you know that suicide is a leading cause of death? In 2014 alone there were over one million deaths a year, which breaks down to one death by suicide

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Joshua Middleton

Every Forty Seconds we need to raise awareness about the other epidemic—depression

approximately every forty seconds. In twothirds of the cases, depression was an underlying factor at the time they ended their lives. By the time you finish reading this article theoretically five more will be gone because they couldn’t hold on any longer. They were strong for far too long.

That’s right, strong. You didn’t misread and no it wasn’t a typo. Enduring depression takes strength. It’s not a sign of weakness and it’s the very stigma that tells us these things that is keeping many in the shadows of silence. We need a new approach to how we look at this condition.

We need to encourage people to speak up and seek help whenever possible.

How can we expect people to adhere to treatment when taking a pill appears as difficult as climbing a mountain? Why would substance abuse not be on the rise when people are feeling so low in their lives that they find a way to get a temporary high and mask their pain? How can we tell people to look at the positives in life when the world seems to be crumbling before them?

Understandably, HIV is a life-changing diagnosis. It’s a virus that has been stigmatized from the very beginning and for various reasons it can trigger depression. Integral care of both physical and mental health from the beginning of diagnosis is vital. There is help out there, but people will only reach out for it when they are ready but are often held back by the stigma.

What can you do to help someone with depression? Listen. Yes, it’s that simple.

Realize that a nonjudgmental and impar-

tial ear is crucial. One that isn’t there to offer unwanted opinions or advice but just to offer an open line of communication and give a hug when needed. With this one simple step. you have validated someone’s feelings in knowing that there is no shame in saying, “I have depression and it’s okay to talk about it.”

If we are serious about reaching our goal of zero then we must start by talking about depression!

Change starts with a conversation and recognition of the problem—it starts here!

Are you in search of mental health/substance abuse services? Call SAMHSA National Hotline toll-free at 1 (800) 662-HELP. Are you experiencing a mental health crisis right now or feeling suicidal? Need someone to talk to? Please call toll-free 1 (800) 273-8255.

Joshua is a social media blogger, educator, and public speaker who advocates for HIV and mental health awareness. As someone living with HIV and depression himself, he knows how hard it can be, but he also firmly believes in the impact of relating to and supporting one another through sharing his own personal journey with the world. He helps inspire hope in others through his blog, www.pozitivehope.com, by consistently showing people that “the sky is the limit: there is life beyond HIV.” A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

photo courtesy J. Middleton

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Survivor Responsibility by

Lewis Nightingale keep on dancing as we continue to

move forward

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

A

s a gay man who has lived with HIV for thirty-five years, I have not felt survivor guilt. I have, however, felt survivor responsibility.

I loved Robert Chesley’s 1986 play, Jerker. The main character has phone sex with dead AIDS guys. He realizes that he has a duty to experience life “in the flesh” for his disembodied fallen comrades.

This powerful image made sense to me.

By then, I had lived in New York for twelve years and with HIV for five. I knew quite well the particular guilt many Manhattanites suffer for not doing enough to fully experience all that the city offers. So I tried to do it all: Fire Island, Mineshaft, Saint, Studio 54. Theater, career, sex, dancing.

Being a New Yorker was a full-time job.

I became positive at the beginning. I saw the devastation that AIDS brought to my beloved city. For me, moving forward and living fully were the best ways to survive—not out of guilt, but from a deep sense of responsibility to myself and to the men who were now gone.

I left New York in 1987, traveled in Southeast Asia, and then settled in Santa Fe where I had great professional success and found—and then lost—a new community.

Ten years later, my health failing, I moved to San Francisco and went on disability. I expected to die within a year.

One year became twenty. Now I’m sixty-six. I survived. Well, more accurately, I didn’t die. I did, however, keep busy.

After a year of leisure and excess, I made the deliberate decision to find something to challenge and engage me. I understood that without a job, it’s hard to create structure, find social interaction, and derive satisfaction from professional accomplishment.

I began studying Chinese. I knew it would be demanding and I craved the discipline. Being on a college campus was thrilling. I soon became a writing tutor.

Working with foreign students sparked an interest in ESL, which led to my continuing volunteer work as a teacher. I had found my path forward.

I never did master Chinese, but that didn’t matter. I continued to find projects that ignited my passions, such as organizSEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

ing community forums, visiting homebound older gay men, and helping new arrivals adjust to the city.

I also found hobbies I never expected to need. I joined book groups. I learned to bake well and ballroom dance poorly.

I am now involved in setting up a buddy program for gay male refugees and asylum seekers in the Bay Area. And I spend two hours a week at the San Francisco Public Library teaching adults to read. I am actively engaged in The Billy Community, a group of heart-centered gay men.

But I’ve also railed at the unfairness of being left behind when I should have had my sweet tragic early exit and my hopefully-well-attended memorial service. I’ve resented the burden of slogging through middle age only to now face the specter of accelerated aging, decrepitude, and death from long-term HIV. I’ve mourned the truncated arc of my career. I’ve struggled to find meaning and connection despite disappointment and rejection. Some days I’m just plain tired of putting on a good face and trying so hard.

But whenever I feel sorry for myself, I stop and think: I’m alive and all those other guys are dead. How dare I complain? Yet I hate when well-meaning friends say: “Well, you didn’t die, so you should be thankful.”

Just because we didn’t die doesn’t mean we don’t suffer. “It could have been worse”

should not shut us up. But complaining only goes so far.

As the narrative of “long-term survival” unfolds in the media and in our community, I worry about its bias toward victimhood.

I don’t want to dismiss or deny the pain, sadness, loss, isolation, and fear for the future that many of us experience. Nor do I want to gloat about how well I’m doing.

The few recent articles and documentaries on long-term survivors can appear to be telling the whole story. However, the reality of long-term survival is complex and nuanced. I challenge artists and journalists to dig deeper and avoid easy generalizations.

Long-term survivor advocacy groups call for well-deserved acknowledgment and much-needed services. Yet I worry that these efforts might perpetuate entitlement—more free stuff!—and promote pity both for ourselves and from others.

We have survived much worse. I call on us to continue moving forward. I challenge us to find ways to create meaning and connection. I urge us to contribute. I insist that our voices be heard.

Let’s live fully for our fallen comrades.

Let’s dance for those who left the dance floor too soon.

Lewis Nightingale lives in San Francisco with his non-husband of twelve years.

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I

n May 2016, I met photographers Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover when they exhibited at a dinner hosted by Project Open Hand in celebration of San Francisco’s long-term survivors of HIV/AIDS. I read “Stella,” my tribute to my best friend lost to AIDS. We chatted after my reading, and a couple weeks later, Saul contacted me about an upcoming Pride Month exhibit at the Harvey Milk Photography Center called “LGBTQ+Chronicled: 1933–2016,” featuring Saul’s and Sandra’s photography and others’. Saul asked me if I would like to write an essay about living in San Francisco in the 1980s and ’90s and read it at the exhibit’s opening. As a thirtysix-year resident of San Francisco, of course I leapt at the opportunity.

Then I talked with Dave Christensen, the Director of the HMPC who curated the exhibit. Dave told me that he admired my writing for A&U and looked forward to reading what I could write for the opening ceremony. He advised me that he wanted the ceremony to be a celebration—and admonished me that whatever I wrote, I should “keep it upbeat.”

Upbeat? I thought. Upbeat?? You want me to write something upbeat about the 1980s and ’90s in San Francisco?! Were you here in the ’80s and ’90s?!

Write something “upbeat” about a time when dozens of my friends suffered and died unspeakably painful deaths? When our government ignored our pleas for help, when religious leaders condemned us as “deserving” AIDS, when everyone I knew lived in terror of losing their lives to a fucking virus? Upbeat?! My excitement quickly soured into How the hell am I gonna pull this off?

Erasing the grief from my memories seemed as difficult, and as pointless, as bowdlerizing some of the hardcore porn I’ve written. There would be nothing left.

But I set to work mining my experiences during the ’80s and ’90s for any rock that I could polish into “upbeat” memories to write about. And to my surprise, I found them.

Quite a few of them, actually. Buried in the muck and mire of all the grief and chaos that nearly buried my community, I found nuggets of hope and even beauty. The problem remained…. Write about the hours of cathar-

30

Hank Trout

Guilt-Free Memories buried in our grief, little gems of painfree memories

tic mindless fun we had dancing at the Trocadero Transfer without mourning the loss of my favorite dance partner Jim “Stella” Duquette?

Celebrate the birth of Gay Comedy here and not cry about the death of sweet lovely comedian Danny Williams?

Recall disco diva Sylvester and keyboard wizard David Kelsey and artist Ken Wood without sobbing at their ugly untimely deaths?

How could I bowdlerize my memories?

With a lot of self-censoring—No! don’t think about that right now!—I wrote the essay and kept it genuinely upbeat. Well, ninety-five percent upbeat. The essay acknowledged, briefly, the epidemic, but then celebrated the relationships we nurtured, the art we created, and even the fun we had despite…it all.

Remaining upbeat at the reading, however, was difficult. I read exactly one week after the Orlando Pulse massacre. I acknowledged that we were all probably thinking about, had been thinking about those forty-nine young beautiful people, and then began reading.

As I read the essay, I noticed that my friends and the other men and women in the crowd who were close to my age and remembered San Francisco in the 1980s and ’90s were all smiling. Some giggled with an embarrassed oh gawd I had forgotten that smile when I mentioned the Bulldog Baths.

Others smiled broadly, nodded along, lost in their own reveries of Sunday tea-dances at the I-Beam. Still others laughed remembering the first time they met The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence on Castro Street. Smiles of shared gratitude spread as I acknowledged the courageous women of San Francisco who led the fight against AIDS here.

I saw people allowing themselves to relish, guilt-free and pain-free, memories that brought them bone-deep happiness.

And if I’m not mistaken, I do believe I saw

some genuine healing going on in some of those smiles And then it hit me—Yes! This is exactly what we need! This is important! We need to remember that in the midst of all the grief and sorrow and terror of the worst years of the pandemic, we did a lot of amazing things! And we continue to do them.

I realized how important it is—how necessary it is—that we remember and commemorate not only the deaths and the loss during the worst years of the pandemic but also the things that we accomplished by coming together to take care of each other, the sometimes glorious art we created, and yeah even the frivolous-but-cathartic fun we allowed ourselves. For many, survivor’s guilt buried those memories, as if acknowledging those memories somehow dishonored those we lost.

I too had allowed my own grief to bury many of the memories that, now, I am very happy to have unearthed in order to write about them. Sharing those memories with others, I saw that it’s not just okay to mine our memories for those nuggets buried in the muck and to polish them up and celebrate them—it’s healing; it’s necessary.

We all deserve to treasure, to nurture, and to share pain-free, guilt-free memories.

Hank Trout edited Drummer, Malebox, and Folsom magazines in the early 1980s. A long-term survivor of HIV/AIDS (diagnosed in 1989), he is a thirty-six-year resident of San Francisco, where he lives with his fiancé Rick. Follow him on Twitter @ HankTroutWriter.

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

photo by Saul Bromberger and Sandra Hoover Photography

by

Bringing hearts together since 1998

P zMatch.c m

art, aids & arbors Visual Artist Hector Toscano talks about HIV and other sources of inspiration, new artwork & life goals

by Alina Oswald

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A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

in the middle of a dry forest, where trees die slowly the roots seem without life, on the branches of the trees do not appear leaves

luckily the morning dew manages to flourish on a tree, then spread to another and so gradually the dry forest is trans formed into pure life […] still a large part of the forest is dry, but with the help of everyone we will give life to the whole planet. en medio de un bosque seco, donde los árboles mueren lentamente las raices se ven sin vidas, de las ramas de los árboles no aparecen hojas

por suerte el rocio de la mañana logra florecer a un árbol, para luego contagiar a otro y asi de a poco el bosque seco se transforma en vida pura

[…] todavía hay una gran parte del bosque que esta seco, pero con la ayuda de cada uno vamos a dar vida a todo el planeta.

T

hus starts (loosely translated) one of Hector Toscano’s poems, “Arbol” (which means “Tree”).

The idea that, in the end, life prevails transcends most of his work, as created in various art forms— painting, photography, and poetry—that the Argentinean artist uses to communicate with the world. It also allows others a unique glimpse into the artist’s world.

“I always try to write down my feelings or thoughts that made me create the work,” Toscano explains. His interest in writing started when he was in high school and won a prize for an essay about a gay man living with HIV—something that, at that time, many referred to as “pink plague” or “gay cancer.”

Toscano adds, “I dared to write the story [when I was] in public school. Now that I think about it, I’ve always liked to be rebellious and raise my voice regarding subjects that might make people uncomfortable.” And nowadays, “rebellious” might just be the one word to describe Toscano’s artwork.

Hector Toscano, whose work A&U has featured before, in the July 2013 issue, is an artist of many talents. Exhibited around the world, his artwork pieces together a somewhat atypical portrait of life, and HIV as part of that life, the artist’s life in particular. Daring, oftentimes unfiltered, offering the naked truth (in an exotic, artistic way, that is) about living with HIV, while exuding that particular kind of passion often associated with Latino culture, Toscano’s art does come in different forms

Above: Fragmentos–Polaroids / Fragments–Polaroids, 2014, photo, 3 by 4 inches Right: Extracción / Extraction, 2013, photo, collage, 23 by 32 inches

SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

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Cubo / Cube, 2013, installation and uses different languages, if art forms could be considered languages, to speak to people around the world, and address a global community which mirrors the global reach of the pandemic. Not only that, but Toscano’s art takes us on a rollercoaster of emotions, from sorrow to hope, on a journey from darkness to light, showing the possibility of a better and brighter future.

Toscano was introduced to the art world when in school, during a class trip to an art museum. “I found it amazing,” the artist says, recalling the experience. And so, he became interested in learning more about all those works of art and the artists who had created them. He also hoped that one day he’d become an artist, himself.

As a young boy, Toscano learned to consider creating art not only as a possible future life dream, but also as a pillar to lean on in everyday life. “My father died when I was twelve,” the artist shares with me, “and from there on, I had to make my way alone, without the [support of the] rest of my family.” And so art became a constant in his life. Creating art became “a means to escape from my family or from school where the boys would tease me for being gay.”

He began his journey into becoming a visual artist by studying drawing and

34

painting. Then, sometime during his teen years, he bought his first camera, and took photography courses while at his university’s school of architecture. That’s because, to this day, he believes that, in order to be an artist, one has to try his or her hand at different forms of art. Today he favors photography and painting. Most recently he has returned his attention to drawing.

Also, Toscano attributes his interest in self-portraits to his experiences as a young, introverted boy, “afraid of socializing with people,” as he describes it. “In contrast, I feel strongly about showing my feelings through pictures of myself. Self-portraits,” he says, “are photos through which one can create their own world, where [they] can be with their own ghosts, with their own demons, but through which one can also see the light.” He adds, “I believe in art as a healing tool of any kind of physical or emotional ailment. I also believe that every artist should know how to make a good self-portrait, because it is a way to understand life.”

Toscano’s sources of inspiration traverse time, space, and also emotions.

They range from extreme situations he’s lived through during his younger years, to the shadows and light defining living in solitude. He has also found inspiration in other artists—opera singers like Maria Callas; photographers like Horacio Coppola, who has inspired Toscano since

the artist was an eighteenyear-old living, as he does now, in Buenos Aires; and also Robert Mapplethorpe [A&U, July 2016].

Buenos Aires is another source of inspiration, maybe a different kind of inspiration. The city defines “different economic situations of a country in constant change and where nothing ever is stable,” Toscano explains. “I must create art beyond the socioeconomic problems which cross the country.”

He adds, “On the other hand, luckily, Buenos Aires remains a city where you can still walk the streets, and look people in the eye and try to discover their stories, where you can imagine and dream.”

And speaking of dreams, Toscano, who is also a Visual AIDS artist, reflects on the possibilities of showing his HIV-inspired work not only as he does through Visual AIDS (a place he hopes to visit in person, one day), but also in venues in his own country. In general, “it is very difficult to gain entrance to these important places [to show your work],” he says. He was lucky to be able to show some of his work in Buenos Aires, at the Centro Cultural Recoleta (the Recoleta Cultural Center), but much more is needed. Impressed by the support Visual AIDS offers artists, he dreams that one day there will be a venue such as Visual AIDS in Argentina, or, as he calls it, “we need a Visual AIDS at this latitude.”

Throughout the years, Toscano has not stopped chasing his dream and creating his art. Aside from lately returning to drawing, he also bought a new camera, which allowed him to delve more into photography. “At the beginning of the year I started a project called Project Skies, where once a day I take a picture of [the sky, of heaven].” He explains that heaven is wherever we are, and projects like Project Skies allow him to rediscover that heaven, to look beyond the “city of cement” and reconnect with nature and its beauty. As with his self-portraits, this new project helps him reconnect with his inner self, and also it helps him heal.

Looking at Toscano’s vast body of work, one takes that first step inside the artist’s A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

A&U Gallery world—an unusual, unconventional, unique universe offering an unexpected sight of art and HIV as a source of inspiration for that art. Some works stand out more than others.

Cubo (Cube) resembles a Rubik Cube and shows newly HIV-diagnosed individuals how to “arm” themselves and perhaps find the right words to fight the virus and society’s skewed views on the virus. “This cube forms the word ‘HIV’ but also the word ‘Life.’” Toscano explains, “because my works [display] the dark side of life, but also the journey all the way from darkness to light, which light represents life.”

Pastillas (Pills) takes on the artist’s own relationship with the pills that keep his HIV at bay, and him alive. From the time of his HIV diagnosis, in 1994, until recently, his struggle with taking pills—up to thirty pills a day, in the old days—has been an ongoing one. This particular work reflects “a bit of that fight. It [shows] a way to get rid of the fear and [make peace] with [taking the] pills.” He adds, “I think a lot about the journey that a little pill takes

themselves, could be interpreted as the “forbidden fruit.”

It is difficult for Toscano to choose a favorite art piece. “I think the Tree installation may be the one I like,” he adds. It all started as an idea, which came to him while he watched a plant slowly dying in his house. “I could [witness] the passage of time [while watching] the death of the

works of art can always be found in some dark corner of life, an illness or ailment.

Directly addressing those newly diagnosed with HIV, Toscano recalls his own feelings when he was told that he had contracted the virus, which virus, over time, has become an ongoing source of inspiration for his art: “I thought of all the tears

plant, and [thought of ] life that follows death.” The poem with the same name, “Arbol,” reiterates this idea and that of death making room for new life and new beginnings.

Hector Toscano continues to create and show his work. He plans to start an arts group and call it Disease and Creation, “where a root of some unhealthy situation triggers a process of creation and healing.”

With this idea, he follows in the footsteps of great artists who have created similar art over the years, because the seeds of many great

that went through my eyes, I thought of all the joys and achievements, of everything that I could not do [anymore]. But I can say that I feel whole when I can do my work.

My art is the only way I know to follow.”

Pastillas + Cuerpo+ / Pills + Body+, 2013, photo, collage, 24 by 24 inches; 19 by 27 inches

once it enters my body.”

Fragmentos (Fragments) reflects some of Toscano’s newer artistic interests. “I am very interested in Polaroid photography now. Here [in Argentina] the Polaroid paper is very expensive, but I think it’s a great way to show smaller size work.”

As an art piece, Fragmentos can be seen as one single artwork or each fragment could be considered a work of art in itself.

Fragmentos deals with the “fragmentation of life when it comes to emotions, fears, a broken heart,” offering the possibility to put together all these fragments and make one a whole person, yet again.

Fantasmas (Ghosts) was created “at one point in my life where I was not in good health,” Toscano says. It was nothing serious, but the experience that ultimately inspired this artwork made him think about how fragile he was, as we all are as human beings, and brought back the fears of getting sick and getting close to death.

On the other hand, even if it might seem a paradox, “[Death] is something I’ve always thought of, not as something negative, but quite the opposite, because I think that death is part of life.”

Arbol (Tree) is an art installation showing the medications as a source of wisdom and life that, in turn, bears fruit. The pills, SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

Learn more about Hector Toscano and his work by visiting him online on Visual AIDS, at: www. visualaids.org/artists/detail/hector-toscano and his own blog/website, at http://ht-obras. blogspot.com/.

Alina Oswald is Arts Editor of A&U.

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Taylor-Ma

The Elizabeth Taylor 50-Plus Network, with the guidance of program director Vince Crisostomo , helps positive men find “meaning and purpose beyond current circumstances”

by Hank Trout photographed exclusively for A&U by Michael Kerner

A

s Vince Crisostomo and I sat and chatted recently, he interrupted our conversation several times now and then to check his phone for messages. Far from being rude, Vince was checking for word about Michael, a friend who, as we spoke, was at the Quest Research center, going through an experimental “functional cure” for HIV that involves drawing, “filtering,” and recirculating the patient’s blood. Several times Vince had to take a call or answer a text from the friend providing Michael’s transportation home from the clinic.

“I’m sorry for the interruptions, Hank,” Vince needlessly assured me. “This is just the sort of thing we do for each other in 50-Plus.”

The “50-Plus” Vince referred to is the Elizabeth Taylor 50-Plus Network (“ET50+”), a San Francisco wellness network and social activity group for gay, bisexual, and transgender men over the age of fifty, administered through the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Vince has been the Program Director for a couple of years now. ET50+ was founded in early 2014 by Jeff Leiphart, PhD, and Noah Briones, MFT, to provide older gay/bi/trans men in the Bay Area with opportunities to improve their health and well-being, to connect with their peers, and to give back to their community. ET50+ serves the “AIDS Generation,” those men who were diagnosed when an HIV-positive diagnosis was a virtual death sentence, men who never expected to live into old age, many of whom have been driven into isolation, depression, and anxiety. The group is also open to men who are HIV-negative, those who also endured the worst years of the pandemic along with us and who also lost friends, lovers, co-workers, and family, and thus experienced the same kinds of loss and grief, the same kinds of PTSD, as us HIV-positive folks.

I am very happy that I found 50-plus. For me, it is a brotherhood of my peers and an important part of my life, a coming together of heart-centered men who help and support each other with the joys and challenges that face our demographic. Our leader, Vince Crisostomo…is one of us. He makes it possible for many of us to participate in life in ways that might not be otherwise available to us. He offers alternatives to isolation and encourages everyone’s participation. I love my 50-plus brothers!

—George Kelly

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ade Men

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When Vince joined SFAF in 2014 as a temporary hire, he brought with him a lifetime of AIDS casework and activism at grassroots, regional, national and international levels—his résumé of HIV/AIDS-related work is longer than this article! Born in 1961 at the Tachikawa USAFB in Japan, Vince is a gay Pacific Islander American of Chamorro descent from Guam. Like many military families, Vince’s moved frequently—from Japan to half a dozen or more U.S. states and to Guam. Vince grew up in a devoutly Catholic family—he was an altar boy—but left the church due to its intolerance of homosexuality. As a twenty-fouryear-old in New York City in 1985, Vince

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began his AIDS-related work, volunteering to visit terminally ill HIV/AIDS patients in hospital. He himself was infected with the virus in 1987.

“I wasn’t diagnosed with HIV until April or May of 1989, but I knew that I had been infected in 1987.” A man with whom he had had sex told Vince, shortly before he died of AIDS, that he had known he was infected before he and Vince had sex; he hadn’t said anything beforehand. “It took a long while for me to find the compassion to forgive him, but I did—I do. I have forgiven him, and myself, with no judgment.” While still in New York City in 1988, Vince met and fell in love with Jesse

Solomon, a personal trainer, yoga teacher, and physical therapist who worked with severely disabled children.

The couple moved to San Francisco in 1990 and were among the first fifty couples to register at City Hall as domestic partners. On October 6, 1991, Jesse died of AIDS. “Jesse’s death was devastating, of course. But his spirit informs my work every day,” Vince said.

In 1992, Vince became an HIV/AIDS educator in the Asian and Pacific Islander LGBTQ community through the GAPA Community HIV Project and the Asian AIDS Project. He traveled to Guam for the country’s World AIDS Day commemoration and was the first Chamorro to come out publicly as HIV-positive.

He continued to travel to Guam and the Pacific Area to provide assistance in building an AIDS services network there. In 2001, he moved to Guam to become executive director of the Coral Life Foundation, a community-based organization working on HIV/AIDS in the Asia-Pacific Area. From September 2002 through December 2006, Vince was Director of Field Operations at Georgetown University’s School of Nursing & Health Studies’ DC HIV Project, where he facilitated the involvement of the community in the department’s NIH studies of HIV. He has also served as the Executive Director of 7 Sisters, an alliance of regional Asia Pacific HIV/AIDS networks based in Thailand, and as the UN AIDS Asia Pacific NGO Delegate from 2009 to 2010. Currently Vince is co-chair of the HIV & Aging Work Group of the San Francisco Mayor’s Long Term Care Coordinating Council (LTCCC).

He was named one of POZ Magazine’s 100 most influential people living with HIV in 2015.

What I like most about [ET50+] is the camaraderie and meeting guys my own age. Even though I have friends, I still feel isolated in this world. [ET50+] allows me to get out of my house and out of my comfort A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

Members of the Elizabeth Taylor 50-Plus Network gather at San Francisco AIDS Foundation for a group photo; (inset) on Saturday mornings, the men meet for coffee and conversation. zone, to mingle with other men like me who have the same issues and problems. It makes me feel not so isolated.

—Michael Stokes One of the ways ET50+ helps members combat that isolation is with weekly “Share and Support” dinners at the Foundation’s downtown headquarters. Every Wednesday night, members gather for dinner and group discussions of various issues affecting men over fifty. Topics vary from week to week and have included group-centered issues like housing, finances and income, identity, spirituality, and sexuality, but occasionally broaden to other subjects, like a recent discussion of the Black Lives Matter movement. Honoring the sense that we are older now and, with luck, wiser, discussions sometimes take a “now and then” format; that is, for instance, exploring the meaning of sex then (when we were younger) compared with the meaning of sex now (as we age).

These discussions are designed to help members find ways to connect with each other and to move forward together. Other social activities for members include concerts, art exhibit openings, potluck dinners in conjunction with The Billys (a community of hundreds of gay, bi and queer men who gather regularly for retreats and other activities), Giants games, and theater excursions. ET50+ also sponsors a Saturday morning coffee get-together for members to chat, share information about events coming up, and SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

keep track of each other. Recently, sixty members of ET50+ attended a showing of Absolutely Fabulous, the update of the iconic series from the early 1990s, a series many of them remember as a respite from a period otherwise wrought with grief and loss.

The ET50+ group also organizes “Making a Difference” projects. These have included active participation in the June 5th National HIV/AIDS Long-Term Survivors Day and volunteer clean-up events at the National AIDS Memorial Grove. For World AIDS Day 2015, members of ET50+ joined with the elementary school students at the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy for INSCRIBE, a commemoration in which the students and members wrote the names of those lost to AIDS in chalk on the sidewalks of Castro Street. “Activities like these,” Vince said, “are important in helping group members build connections among themselves but also connections with the community at large.”

work added Elizabeth Taylor’s name to the group after receiving a first-of-its-kind grant from the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation to sustain the group for the next five years. “I briefly met Taylor at an event in New York City just shortly after Rock Hudson’s death,” Vince told me.

“Of course, at the time, I had no idea….

The name change is our way of honoring Taylor for her incomparable bravery as an advocate and of thanking the ETAF for their incredible generosity.”

Just as we wrapped up our conversation for this article, Vince received another text message.

“Oh good! Michael’s at home, resting.”

He sighed, visibly relieved, and put his phone away.

“For me, this is the most important, most rewarding part of what we do at 50Plus,” Vince said. “These guys aren’t just my clients, they are my chosen family, and as a family, we take care of each other.

“I wish everyone could have a job like mine!”

I’ve met a large number of other members who have become close friends.

Through the group and associated activities, my outlook changed, my confidence and self-esteem greatly improved, my mental health improved tremendously, and my negative outlook about aging, mine and others’, changed.

—Mick Robinson

For more information about the Elizabeth Taylor 50-Plus Network, check out their website at http://strutsf.org/50-plus-network. You can also find them on Facebook at https://www.facebook. com/groups/50plusnetwork and find their next event at www.meetup.com/50-Plus.

In November 2015, the 50-Plus Net-

For more information about photographer Michael Kerner, log on to: www.kernercreative.com.

Hank Trout writes A&U’s For the Long Run column, debuting in this issue.

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G N I K V I C D BA IN Back at the Summer Olympics for the First Time in Twenty Years, Four-Time Olympic Gold Medalist & HIV Activist Greg Louganis Opens Up About His Incredible Journey and How He’s Giving Back to Other Athletic Champions

by Chip Alfred Photographed Exclusively for A&U by Sean Black

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reg Louganis is undeniably the greatest diver of all time. Now, after a two-decade absence, the most-decorated Olympic diver in history returns for the Summer Games in Rio. This time, Louganis steps into a different role—as a broadcast commentator for Latin America’s Globo TV. As he prepares for yet another milestone in a legendary life and legacy, A&U sat down with Louganis for an intimate look at the challenges he’s overcome, what inspires him, and why he believes his best years may be yet to come.

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Gregory Efthimios Louganis was born in 1960 in El Cajon, California, just outside San Diego. Given up at birth by his teenage parents, Greg, who is of Swedish and Samoan descent, was adopted at nine months by Frances and Peter Louganis.

“Growing up, I went through a difficult period, especially as an adolescent,” he recalls. “I thought to myself, if my natural parents couldn’t love me, then nobody could love me because I wasn’t worthy of it.” He was shy, self-conscious, had a stutter, and suffered from dyslexia (which he never realized until later in life). He was bullied and taunted repeatedly by his classmates. The young Louganis suffered severe bouts of depression, and remembers saying to his mom, “I understand how people can die of sadness.” From a very early age the one place he found joy was on stage. “I felt it was the only thing I had to offer.”

“My mom used to joke that I was in diapers when I started in dance and acrobatics,” Louganis says with a smile. He began taking lessons at eighteen months, discovered gymnastics at age three, and entered his first talent competition at age six. “When I was eight, we got a pool built in our backyard. My mom didn’t want me to kill myself, so she got me diving lessons.” By the time he was fourteen, he caught the attention of renowned coach Dr. Sammy Lee. The former Olympic diving champ helped Louganis earn his first Olympic silver medal in Montreal in 1976. After training with Lee for five years, Louganis was in top shape and primed to go for the gold at the 1980 Olympics in Moscow. Then, in the wake of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, President Jimmy Carter announced the U.S. boycott of the Games. Louganis would have to wait another four years if he wanted to pursue his Olympic dreams.

Since 1978, Louganis had been training with coach Ron O’Brien, who would guide the rest of his diving career. Going into the 1984 Summer Games in Los Angeles, he was at peak performance. In L.A., he received two gold medals; Greg Louganis became a household name. He contemplated retiring from diving, but he set his sights on a new goal instead. No diver had ever won four gold medals, so Louganis set out to break that record at the 1988 Summer Games in Seoul, South Korea.

“Somebody once said that, at that moment, I was the toughest sissy in the world.”

At the preliminaries for the three-meter springboard competition in Seoul, the unthinkable happened. Louganis hit his head on the end of the board, suffering a bloody cut that required five stitches. It was a startling moment that was heard and seen around the world. Everyone wondered—including Louganis himself—if he would ever dive again. Then, just thirty minutes later, Louganis stepped up on that springboard one more time. With several thousand people packed into Seoul’s Chamship Pool, Louganis says, “the atmosphere was electric.” He walked to the edge of the board, gathered his composure, and looked into the crowd to bolster his courage. He touched his heart several times, as if he was asking the crowd for their love to get through it. Not only did he make that dive, he scored the best dive of the day. “Somebody once said that, at that moment, I was the toughest sissy in the world,” Louganis told the L.A. Times. The crowd went wild. Louganis won two gold medals in Seoul, sealing his fate as the greatest diver who ever lived. After he completed his last dive, Louganis, wiping the tears from his face, fell into the arms of his coach. O’Brien hugged him tightly and cried out, “We did it, buddy! That was a hell of a way to do it!”

Reflecting on that famous comeback dive, Louganis says it was his friend and “guardian angel” Ryan White who inspired him to get back up on the board. After reading about the Indiana boy expelled from school because of his HIV status, Louganis invited White to join him at the 1986 U.S. Diving Indoor Championships in Indianapolis. “I felt if I reached out to this young boy and showed I wasn’t afraid of him, people might not be so afraid of him,” Louganis says. “What I got from Ryan was that he was a fighter and I wasn’t.” After Greg slammed his head on the board, A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

he was asked if he was ready to call it quits. He thought about Ryan White and said, “We’ve worked too long and too hard to go down without a fight.”

Beyond the fanfare of his Olympic victories, what the public didn’t see was the inner turmoil Louganis was concealing. He was hiding a secret that could have kept him from competing in Seoul. After his partner was hospitalized with a bout of PCP, Louganis was tested for HIV and turned up positive. “I was training in Florida at the time,” he remembers. “I was going to pack up my things and move back to California, lock myself in my house, and wait to die.” But his doctor encouraged him to keep training and recommended starting aggressive treatment right away. Louganis started on an AZT regimen, which consisted of two pills at a time, every four hours around the clock.

He couldn’t sleep through the night, and he lived with an alarm clock going off all the time reminding him to take the next dose. It was a grueling drain on his energy and stamina, amid the already strenuous physical and mental demands of gearing up for his last hurrah at the Olympics.

Had he disclosed his HIV status before Seoul, he would not have been allowed entry into the country to compete.

There was another secret Louganis was keeping. Although his friends and family knew he was gay, Louganis was still keeping that part of his private life private. “I felt like I was living on an island with only a phone for communication to the outside world. That’s what secrets do to you. They isolate you.” He decided it was time to open up—about all of it. “I knew the only way I could express myself and the true scope of who I was would be through a book.” Breaking the Surface, written with Eric Marcus, was published in 1995. The searingly candid, tell-all autobiography rose to the top of the New York Times bestseller list and was made into a TV movie starring Mario Lopez.

In advance of the book launch, Louganis was suddenly thrust into the center of an international media firestorm. A hard hitting prime-time interview with Barbara Walters was just the beginning. He appeared on the cover of People with a headline that read, “My Private Hell.” Then, it was Oprah Winfrey, who asked him, “Over the years has the secret of being gay and HIV-positive exhausted you?” Louganis simply nodded. CNN’s Larry King even had the balls to ask Louganis, “How could a smart guy like you have unprotected sex?” Louganis handled all of the intense public scrutiny in stride. After the media frenzy died down, he felt like he had been freed from the secrets that were weighing him down. At last, a huge burden was lifted off his shoulders.

While he continued the process of documenting his life for the book, Louganis had the opportunity to take his career in a new direction—as an Off-Broadway actor. In 1993, Louganis premiered in Jeffrey, a play about a gay man so fearful of AIDS that he swears off sex. In Jeffrey, Louganis played the part of Darius, a gay chorus boy in Cats who is also HIV-positive. “I was able to live out my fantasies through him,” Louganis tells A&U. “He was out and proud!”

Louganis also faced the fears of his own mortality, as his character Darius dies in the play. Louganis says Darius delivers the most poignant message in the play. He advises Jeffrey to hate AIDS, not life. “Jeffrey had stopped living and entertaining the idea of leaving his heart open,” Louganis explains.

After his run in Jeffrey, Louganis was offered the chance to open his heart in a way he never imagined he would. After competing as a closeted athlete for more than two decades, he was invited to SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

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welcome 15,000 gay and lesbian athletes to the 1994 Gay Games in New York. In his videotaped address to the crowd, he said how proud he was to be part of an event that represents true Olympic ideals. “This is our chance to show ourselves and the world how strong we are as individuals and as a community,” he said. As he finished with, “It’s great to be out and proud,” the audience erupted in cheers. And audiences of all kinds have been cheering him ever since. Thousands of people would come to hear him speak at Breaking the Surface book signings across the country.

People would come up to him and say things like, “You saved my life,” or “You gave me hope.” His intent was that sharing his narrative would make a difference in other people’s lives, and clearly it has. “That’s very empowering for me and for others because it makes other people feel like they’re not alone.”

About five years ago, a woman approached Louganis about chronicling his story for an even broader audience. Cheryl Furjanic, a documentary filmmaker, reached out to him with a proposition. “She said kids under the age of twenty-seven don’t know who Greg Louganis is,” he recounts. “She wanted to change that, and to reintroduce me to a younger generation.” Louganis agreed to allow Furjanic, producer/writer Will Sweeney, and their crew to follow him over the course of three years.

Back on Board, which premiered in 2014, shows a side of Greg Louganis many of us haven’t seen before. As the film opens, the man who won forty-seven national and thirteen world diving championships was barely treading water financially—facing foreclosure of his treasured Malibu home. “People think a gold medal is worth millions and that really isn’t the reality,” Louganis notes. It certainly wasn’t the reality for him. After he retired from the Olympics, Louganis wasn’t offered the lucrative endorsement deals that some of his fellow Olympians received. His income from acting jobs, speaking engagements and public appearances wasn’t always steady. “When we first approached him, we had no idea that we would find him facing such difficulties,” Furjanic explains. “During the three years we spent making this film, one thing that became clear is Greg’s resilience.” Louganis managed to sell his house and end up debtfree with enough left over to pay for his wedding with soulmate Johnny Chaillot. “Now we can build,” he told Chaillot. “Now we can start over.”

And after years of little involvement in diving, Louganis returned to the sport he loves, making a splash at the 2012 London Olympics as a mentor for the U.S. team (one of the divers he mentored was David Boudia, who won a gold medal in London, and at press time one silver medal in Rio in synchronized diving with partner Steele Johnson). Now Louganis is focusing his attention on the cause he is most passionate about—helping Olympians and other athletic champions with aftercare.

“When you go to the Olympics there’s this really high high,” he says. “If you do well, there’s this wave you can ride for a while but that ride will end.” Louganis is involved in an international initiative called Crossing the Line, which supports elite athletes in the transition from retirement to the next stage of their lives. The organization offers support and information from athletes and independent experts, and brings together a global community of transitioning athletes.

For Louganis, retirement has been challenging at times, but he has seized the opportunity to reinvent himself. As one of the nation’s leading advocates for HIV/AIDS awareness and LGBT equality, he manages a busy schedule of public appearances and speaking engagements year-round. He addresses many different types of groups, but one thing always remains the same. “Whenever I go and speak, it doesn’t matter who the group is or where it is, I share all of me.”

That “all of me” includes a suicide attempt, an abusive relationship, addictions to alcohol and painkillers, and how he has persevered through all of it. He says

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his secret to surviving and thriving is that he doesn’t allow his journey with HIV/AIDS to take over his life. “It was and still is only a mere part of me. It does not define me,” he explains. He takes his meds in the morning and again in the evening, but the rest of the time, he just goes about the business of living.

“I think living with HIV for as long as I have, it’s my constant companion. It’s there. I’m aware,” he shared in an interview with Men’s Health. “I try to be as mindful as I can be, and not take anything for granted.” He says this taught him how to appreciate all that he has and all that he’s accomplished. “I may have thought I’d be dead by thirty, but I feel very much alive now.”

Now, as he takes the plunge into the next phase of his Olympic career, Louganis weighs in on the one recognition he never received—his face on the cover of a Wheaties cereal box. After he won his first gold medal, a reporter asked Wheaties, which is marketed as the “Breakfast of Champions,” why Louganis wasn’t featured on the cover of the box. According to Louganis, the Wheaties rep told the reporter that they were never in talks with him because “I allegedly didn’t share the same family values.” After the release of Back on Board, a Change.org petition was launched to lobby General Mills, maker of Wheaties, to give Greg the recognition he deserved. The petition garnered 40,000 signatures, and Louganis was touched when he finally appeared on the box this year. He told the New York Times why it held such a special meaning for him at that point in his life. “Getting it

Today, Greg Louganis celebrates his past and lives fully in the present, with a renewed sense of optimism about the future. now means people will see me as a whole person—a flawed person who is gay, HIV-positive, with all the other things I’ve been through.”

Today, Greg Louganis celebrates his past and lives fully in the present, with a renewed sense of optimism about the future. The fifty-six-year-old Olympic superstar stays fit with a regular routine of yoga, cross training and weightlifting. With his devoted husband and their prize-winning Jack Russell terrier Dobby, Louganis has found comfort and contentment. “Johnny keeps me grounded and appreciating what I have in that moment,” Louganis affirms. “It’s waking up each morning and just saying I wonder what the universe has in store for us today.”

For more information about Greg Louganis, log on to: www. greglouganis.com. For information about his new documentary, log on to: www.hbo.com/sports/back-on-board-greg-louganis.

For more information about Crossing the Line, visit: www.crossingthelinesport.com.

Chip Alfred, A&U’s Editor at Large, interviewed Greg Louganis in 2008 for his first article for A&U when the Olympic champion was named an LGBT History Month Icon.

JULY 2016 • A&U SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

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Happy Days

Are Here Again With her uplifting weekly blog radio talk show, Davina Conner, aka Pozitively Dee, helps individuals living with and at risk for HIV find the support they need

by Connie Rose

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very Saturday at 4:30 p.m.

(MST), Davina Conner, known to her fans everywhere and on social media as Pozitively Dee, hosts a live call-in talk radio show called “Pozitively Dee’s HIV/AIDS Discussion,” provided by Ronald Spikes of Blogtalktradio.com. The topics of her show center around HIV issues across the spectrum of people affected by the virus. (If you can’t call in, the show is also available in real time online, or listeners can choose previously recorded shows from website links.)

She begins every show saying that HIV still exists because she fears that, with the miraculous advancements in medication, people are forgetting how “at risk” they may still be for contracting HIV. She advocates for all HIV-positive people equally and, while her fan base may be modest, it is steadily growing. She hopes that people, along their way to building better lives for themselves, can stop in and listen to her shows so they can begin learning from the open, honest, raw, funny and insightful conversations that she allows on her show.

Being an advocate is something she feels she needs to do, not only for herself

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photographed exclusively for A&U by Sean Black

but for her two beautiful daughters. Davina wants to do her part by adding her voice to the growing group of strong positive women in the fight to end HIV/AIDS in their lifetime.

This talk show is her way of giving every community the support that she, along with many “middle kids,” or those individuals (including myself) diagnosed with HIV in the last twenty years, struggled to find as the generation that came before, the HIV Long-Term Survivors and others, were busy advocating for all of us to have the lifesaving medications and health advancements from which we benefit today. These early trailblazers are also the people who began to build the core support groups that we are now helping to add to.

Take my word for it—call into her show and listen to her and see if what I’m saying is true. This remarkable woman displays a genuine character, fusing the qualities of love and compassion with a desire to right wrongs with equality and fairness that extends to her brothers and sisters around the world, not just here in the United States. I call into her show almost every Saturday and have heard many men and women calling in from places like Africa, where #treatmentforall isn’t just a trending hashtag, it’s a real issue—people are still dying from a lack of proper and easily accessible healthcare.

Every week on her social media outlets, Pozitively Dee will share a sneak peek of upcoming topics for the Saturday show, giving her audience ample opportunity to get ready with questions, ideas, and even input that they can contribute to the show by pushing #1 on their phones and entering the conversation in real time. She doesn’t restrict her audience other than asking them to stay on topic and offer constructive, helpful information.

Davina’s ability to stay neutral, remain calm, cool and collected, during times of extreme emotions comes from her experience of nearly twenty years living with HIV. When someone is dealing with a new diagnosis, the feelings can range from fear to wanting to commit acts of violence or bodily harm against themselves.

Having experienced all of these same thoughts and feelings during her time “living with,” she is able to give helpful direction in every situation.

One such call happened during my first time calling into the show to listen. A young man, newly diagnosed, called into the show not long after a positive reactive HIV test with thoughts of not only killing himself, but also killing the man from whom he contracted HIV. Pozitively Dee and her other callers all talked this young man down and gave him the information that he needed to know (mainly, that HIV is not a death sentence anymore). They A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

AUGUST 2016 • A&U

gave him the support he needed; they let him know he was not alone with his diagnosis, and made him realize there is life after a positive HIV diagnosis. Today that young man is the founder of an ASO less than one year after his diagnosis instead of

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ending up another statistic, in prison, or, worse, gone forever. Her show helped save his life and possibly the lives of countless more with nothing more than an open, honest, discussion about HIV and by giving him the tools he needed to become

a “thriver.”

Not all shows are so dramatic, though; some are very light, comedic, just downright funny!

Another wonderful fact about Pozitively Dee’s Blog Talk Radio show is that she is reaching HIV-negative individuals in the world. Proof of that can be found on Friday nights during a new show hosted by Colette C’ann Perkins a personal friend, who had heard Pozitively Dee’s show and wanted to help make a difference in her world by creating a show to help empower men and women in their day to day lives. Her show’s topics consist mostly around women’s issues but are not limited to any specific demographic or cause.

Reaching those who are HIV-negative is one of the greatest challenges for an HIV advocate and Pozitively Dee has found a platform that is confidential without fault where people can simply dial a phone number, listen or join in the show, and also get and give support.

Most Saturday afternoons when I call in to listen to Pozitively Dee in action I leave my phone on speaker and listen as I do work, clean the house, run errands and I laugh, I cry. Over that hour and a half show my emotions fly across the spectrum of choices—ranging from angry, sad, back to happy—depending upon the speaker and their story.

Recently, Davina and I had this discussion during a video chat that she began as she does almost every one of our conversations and it always makes me smile: “Happy Day, Connie Rose! How are you today?”

Connie Rose: Happy Day, Miss D! Would you A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

mind telling me about your call-in show and explain to me how the callers and their topics affect the advocacy work you do, please.

Davina Conner, aka Pozitively Dee: My talk radio/podcast show on blogtalkradio. com has been the greatest thing and I thank Ronald Spikes for giving me the chance to do the show.

I use my show as a platform to educate the community on various topics about HIV/ AIDS—ending stigma, transgender, LGBT, PrEP, our youth, ADA laws, mental health, organizations, HIV criminalization, and the list goes on, but the shows that affect me and that I love the most are the ones when someone comes on the show and shares their HIV story for the first time. There are so many stories and not one have I heard is the same, at all. The lovely part about [calling in] is you don’t have to give your name and you can finally [exhale] from holding [in] your story. It helps those who have kept it a secret for so long and my show gives them that start. If anybody wants to come on the show as a guest, contact me. I turn no one away. I appreciate all of the support it’s because of the listeners that I have my show.

How long have you been on the air and what are your future hopes and goals for your advocacy?

It’s been two and a half years since I started and I will soon be looking for sponsors to keep the show on the air giving my sponsors a commercial slot that will play over the twenty-four-hour network that blog talk has.

I’m in the process of getting my nonprofit back with a 501(c)(3). I will use Poz Haven for those diagnosed with HIV/AIDS to come for support, advocating for heterosexuals, advocating for Black communities, educating to our children the importance of protecting themselves and getting tested. Blacks have the highest rate of infection and I must reach out to them because they’re not taking [HIV] seriously, so many forget HIV still exists.

What is the most recent campaign you are working on?

I am now working to advocate for heterosexual men and this is a cause I feel is needed. There are many heterosexual men diagnosed with HIV who are ashamed; they hide and suffer in silence with very few people advocating for them. I believe this will lead other heterosexual men to get tested and, in turn, will help stop the spread of the disease.

I’ve been working with Bernard Young and together we came up with The Bow Tie Movement a campaign to get others’ attention on heterosexual men who have been diagnosed with HIV. Those people SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

who choose to support the men will be wearing a bow tie. It shows boldness and sophistication; the bow tie should be a way to represent all heterosexual men with HIV/ AIDS no matter their race or religion, to raise awareness, and to stop the stigma and self-stigma among men with HIV/AIDS showing them we support them.

He is my best friend. It’s hard to believe that someone can care so much about you. Guess it’s true what they say about being patient.

Here’s a three-part question for yo Dee. What have some of your personal struggles been since your diagnosis? From where have you risen since you were first diagnosed? And finally are there plans to make room for love—other than your work, family, and friends—to have a place back in your life?

Living with HIV for 19 years has been a challenge for me and I know it has been for so many others, too. The meds have come a long way; I have come Davina Conner, aka Pozitively Dee, and Bernard Young a long way from 1997.

I remember being so To participate in Pozitively Dee’s HIV/AIDS Dissick from the fourteen meds that I used to cussion, dial 347-855-8118 every Saturday at 4:30 take and drinking alcohol to cope with the p.m. (MST). For schedules and to listen online (or sickness from the meds. There were days I check out past shows), visit: www.blogtalkradio. wish I wasn’t here so I wouldn’t have to be so com (and search for “Pozitively Dee”). To contact sick, but my daughter kept me going. Today I or follow Davina Conner/Pozitively Dee, she is on am much happier with my life and the meds. Twitter @DavinaConner.

I am now on two pills, which are Reyataz and Stribild; my viral load is undetectable and my Connie Rose acquired HIV at twenty-one years CD4 [count] is 1,000. of age from her husband because she didn’t ask for an HIV test before they married and if he did I am thankful and wish my family and know he didn’t tell her. Forty-one, Connie Rose is friends could see through my eyes how I view a mother and grandmother living in Las Vegas, life. What a beauty I see in life and in everyone.

Nevada, changing the world one blog at a time.

I will advocate for all no matter who it is. My When she is not writing for multiple ticket venues, heart is big and sometimes it’s too much, but including the Vegastickets website, she manages I keep on going. Soon I will have my bacheand writes for her own website, livingpos.com, lor’s degree in Public Health. I have six more an information and blogging site dedicated to the months to go and I am very excited about that. four H’s in the STD community. She also is an And yes there is love in my life! I have met advocate in her local community and on social good man after being by myself for five years. media. Follow Connie Rose on Twitter @Cricketlv.

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on TRACK

Pop singer and dance artist Dario talks about his latest album, Alpha, and his HIV advocacy work

by Alina Oswald

W

photos by Armando Sanchez

hen your last name is too long or too difficult to pronounce (think Madonna), you might just decide to skip it altogether and go only by your first name. It keeps things simple, and it really works, especially when you are a celebrity. Enter Dario, Billboard Top 40 pop singer and dance artist, and also a strong believer in doing one’s part and in the power of giving back to the community.

For over a decade, Dario has shared his music with the world through his albums, top-charting singles, and sold-out tours across the country and around the world.

As mentioned on his website, Dario “is known for his distinctive attitude, infectious personality, and pop-style vocals with a dance algorithm at the base of his music.”

Born and raised in Tucson, Arizona, Dario grew up together with his five siblings. He discovered his love for music at a very young age. His first album, Revolution, debuted at No. 1 on Amazon.

Several tracks, including “Save You,” on the debut album, reached the top of the music charts, including Billboard’s Top Dance Chart. In 2006, Dario moved to Los Angeles where he started working

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with Arie Dixon of Tommy Boy Records. Tommy Boy Entertainment, formerly known as Tommy Boy Records, is an independent record company started in 1981, in New York City, by Tom Silverman, and which has helped launch the music careers of many artists, including Queen Latifah. One year after Dario started working with the record company, he released his second album, and then four more albums in the following years.

Dario is a role model for many people, in particular young individuals, and connects with his fans through his music, and also through his work outside his music. He started working with AIDS nonprofits in Arizona. The first one was South Arizona AIDS Foundation, in Tucson, Arizona. Founded in 1997, SAAF was formed by the merging of three local AIDS agencies—Tucson AIDS Project (TAP) founded in 1985; Shanti A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

Foundation, which started right after TAP; and PACT for Life, a grassroots organization of People with AIDS Coalition of Tucson founded in 1987.

When I caught up with him, Dario was getting ready to kick off his new U.S. tour, to promote his latest album.

Released on May 27, Dario’s new album, Alpha, ended up breaking into the top 100 albums of the Billboard 200. The debut single, “Try It,” became an overnight success, making it to No. 4 on the Billboard Breakout Dance Club Chart.

On July 15. Dario released the remix album with all the dance remixes many might have heard in nightclubs.

Alina Oswald: You are a successful recording artist and singer. What triggered your passion for music?

Dario: I think I’ve known ever since I was three years-old that I would somehow be involved in music. I remember when I was about that age, I was driving somewhere with my dad and a friend of his. I was in the backseat, singing, and my dad’s friend looked over his shoulder to see if [I] was [the one actually] singing the song. He turned to my dad and said, “This kid has something; you should get him a guitar.” I knew at that moment my life was going to be in music.

What inspires your music?

There is so much that inspires my music and my work—life, people, places.

I love it and dislike it at the same time. I love it, because everything I do now has meaning and a purpose. But it can be difficult because everything that I do and everywhere that I go inspires a feeling or a thought, and I have to find a way to turn it into an experience, which eventually becomes a song. I sometimes wish I could turn that off and just be still.

How has your music evolved (if at all) over the past ten years, from your first album, Revolution, to the most recent album, Alpha?

My music has evolved tremendously!

I am definitely a better writer now than I was ten years ago. I’ve experienced a lot over the years, which has allowed me to grow personally, professionally, and musically. I’m also much stronger vocally than I’ve ever been—I can now do things with my voice that I couldn’t do even five years ago, and I love it! I figure that’s what life’s about: We’re here only for a short amount of time; we might as well make it count.

Your most recent album, Alpha, was released SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

my hardest to stay true to who I am as an individual. I write and sing about overcoming obstacles, not caring what others think and never giving up. Because of that, I think I’ve always appealed to the underdog and I love it because I am one.

It’s probably why the younger generation gravitates toward my music. Inspiring them is what it’s all about, and if I do that for one person, I did my job.

on May 27. Tell us briefly about it, and also about the successful lead single, “Try It.” I’m so proud of Alpha. I think, considering where I am right now as an artist, it is for sure my best work. I love the fact that my production team wasn’t afraid to test the waters and try new things with this record. “Try It” was honestly not my first pick to be the lead single, but now that I’ve heard it so many times, I’m glad it was.

The music video got over 100,000 views in less than two weeks, and the album broke the Top 100 on the Billboard 200 chart. I can’t wait to perform it all live on tour.

Could you take us behind the scenes, and explain briefly, if possible, the process of creating your music?

Usually, when we schedule a writing session, we always start out by talking about what’s going on in my life at the moment.

My production team and co-writers will ask me what I want to talk about or say on the album, and we go from there. I don’t like to title the album or have an idea of what I think it should be beforehand, because that restricts us in a way. If we write the album first, it allows us to write a story, take it somewhere, and then give it a title. It’s much more organic and creative that way.

You are a very young, very successful artist, and a role model to many people, young people in particular. How do you use your music to inspire others, especially the youth? And why do you think that is important?

Anytime I go into the studio, I try

You also give back to the community. You work with several foundations to end HIV and AIDS, among others. Why is that?

I love to give back, because I believe it is part of the reason why we, as human beings, are here on Earth. I’m originally from Tucson, and when I lived there I would donate my time to SAAF or Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation. Now that I live in Los Angeles, if I’m not on tour I [help raise funds] and walk for AIDS Walk LA. I believe that there is a cure out there, and I’m not going to stop fighting until we [find it].

How do you think we can end this epidemic once and for all? What can we all do, in general, to make it a reality?

I’m not a doctor or a scientist, but as a regular person who has seen what this disease does to people, I [think] that as long as we stick together and fight for the cause, as long as we ask questions [about HIV] and stay safe [from it], maybe we can start to see [the number of HIV infections decline].

As I mentioned earlier, you are a role model, and it seems, in more ways than one. What would you tell those looking up to you, especially young individuals, about HIV and AIDS? Be safe and get tested! I know that we can’t tell anyone to avoid sex or drugs.

People are going to do what they want with their lives. Part of life is making mistakes and learning from them, but you owe it to yourself to be safe. [Therefore, when it comes to HIV, in order to stay safe,] use condoms, don’t share needles, and protect yourself and others. I know it sounds like a cliché and redundant because you’ve heard it so much, but please be safe, always, because you matter and because you are loved.

To find out more about Dario and keep up with his tour, his latest album, Alpha, and other happenings, visit him online at www.darioonline.com.

For more information about the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation, check out www.saaf.org.

Alina Oswald is Arts Editor of A&U.

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by

Chip Alfred

Denver Principles activists drive sweeping reform of colorodo’s hiv criminalization laws

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“When we were asked to give up protecting sex workers in our modernizing language, we refused,” Hartel explains.

“We would be sacrificing our integrity if we let people say that sex workers and those accused of sex work didn’t deserve the same protection, or that modernizing our current statutes was just too challenging to pass right now.” Sex workers are particularly vulnerable under HIV criminalization laws, which are often used to enhance sentencing for lesser charges.

Thirty-five people living with HIV helped to write and/or draft the bill, some of them driving for hours in snowstorms from rural Colorado to Denver to work on it. Cardell notes that at least one member of the Mod Squad was at the state legislature every single day of the session. “When it passed, we were a little stunned,” she recalls. “Today we changed the world,” she posted that day on social media. “We were able to do something many thought we couldn’t and we had only dreamed of until now.”

The two women are hopeful that the overhaul of Colorado’s criminalization laws will motivate other states to follow suit. According to the Center for HIV Law and Policy, thirty-two states and two U.S. territories have HIV-specific criminal statutes. Most of these laws, passed during the 1990s AIDS panic, include non-disclosure of HIV status as a criminal offense.

Thirty-six states have reported proceedings

in which HIV-positive people have been arrested and/or prosecuted for consensual sex, biting, and spitting. (Many of the statutes don’t take HIV infection risk or actual transmission into account).

Once Colorado’s bill was passed, activists from across the country started reaching out to the Mod Squad for their “road map.” Although Cardell says she’s happy to share the details of Colorado’s victory, she emphasizes that the laws are different everywhere. “There is no road map, but most people just want to hear it’s possible.”

The Colorado Mod Squad will now shift its focus to ensuring the new law is properly implemented throughout the state. Now, with some perspective on the Mod Squad’s accomplishments, Cardell has to remind herself that this group didn’t just modernize the statutes, it got the laws taken off the books altogether.

“Every once in a while I have to stop and think….Holy shit! We did that!”

For more information about PWN-USA, visit https://pwnusa.wordpress.com.

A&U welcomes your HIV criminalization story ideas or suggestions. Please contact Chip Alfred, Editor at Large, at chip.alfred@gmail.com.

Chip Alfred, A&U’s Editor at Large, is the Director of Development & Communications at Philadelphia FIGHT. A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

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four-year campaign to modernize HIV criminalization legislation in Colorado has been successful, thanks to a coalition of activists led by Positive Women’s Network (PWN-USA) Colorado co-chairs Barb Cardell and Kari Hartel.

The HIV Decriminalization Task Force, later renamed the Colorado Mod Squad, was instrumental in repealing two HIV criminalization statutes and reforming the third. Senate Bill 146 was sponsored by Senator Pat Steadman (D-Denver), a longtime advocate for HIV and public health issues, and Representative Daneya Esgar (D-Pueblo). The bill, which was supported

by Colorado Organizations Responding to AIDS (CORA) and the Colorado Department of Public Health, passed on May 11, 2016. The legislation was signed into law

by Governor John Hickenlooper on June 6.

Essentially, the bill repeals the statute on mandated HIV testing for sex workers and eliminates felony charges for prostitution with knowledge of HIV infection.

It also removes HIV criminalization language in current statutes, and modernizes much of the statutory language concerning STIs in the health code. Colorado’s statute that included sentencing enhancement for sexual assault with knowledge of HIV (up to three times the maximum sentence) remains. However, this law was amended to make HIV transmission a necessary trigger, and the maximum sentencing enhancement has been reduced to the maximum sentence.

Cardell and Hartel agree that the impetus for this campaign came at the first HIV is Not a Crime conference in Grinnell, Iowa in 2014. Iowa had just become the first state to repeal its HIV criminalization law and conference organizers challenged the audience, “Who’s next?” With that, Kari Hartel’s hand shot up. What followed was the formation of a coalition of grassroots activists, community leaders, lobbyists, medical experts, and most importantly, people living with HIV. “If we weren’t at the table, it wasn’t getting done,” Cardell tells A&U. She adds that the HIV criminalization laws in Colorado felt incredibly unjust, but they also seemed immovable.

lifeguide

Last Straw new research shows snorting utensils carry a high risk of transmitting hcv

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

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he risk of contracting the hepatitis C virus (HCV) and HIV from sharing syringes is well known.

What’s less well known—almost unknown until now—is that other drug utensils, like straws used to snort drugs, when shared can transmit hepatitis C and HIV. Researchers at University of Tennessee Medical Center (UTMC) have concluded that the sharing of utensils such as straws, rolled-up dollar bills, and even plastic pens when snorting heroin, oxycodone, or other drugs can transmit HCV and other bloodborne viruses.

The results of their research, the largest one of its kind, were published in August in Obstetrics & Gynecology, the official publication of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.

Dr. Craig Towers, professor and vice chair of obstetrics and gynecology at UTMC-Knoxville and lead physician on the study, tells A&U that the impetus for the study was the high number of opiate-addicted pregnant women he saw in his clinic.

“As part of our prenatal labs we started testing for hepatitis C, and found that twothirds of these women were infected with hepatitis C,” Towers says.

“When I informed these women that they were infected, they were shocked. They said, ‘sure I use drugs but I don’t use needles.’”

But they did take opioids—usually oxycodone or hydrocodone—as well as crushed prescription drugs nasally.

In the sixteen-month study, conducted from March, 2014 through June, 2015, Towers set out to evaluate possible modes of HCV acquisition in HCV-infected pregnant patients in Eastern Tennessee through known common routes such as IV drug usage, blood transfusion, organ transplant, sexual contact, and tattoos, as well as possible transmission through straws or other nasal implements.

Towers and his first author, Noelle Ferandez, distributed an anonymous survey to 189 women who had tested positive for HCV during post-routine blood testing at the UTMC-Knoxville clinic.

The study showed that out of all hepatitis C-infected women, only half shared needles, but ninety-two percent reported sharing straws or other utensils to snort.

Seventy percent of participants did not

SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

have any idea when they had become infected with HCV. Sixty-seven percent were first told they had HCV following the prenatal lab work that was obtained during routine prenatal care.

Towers says the use of crushed prescription drugs is evidence of the neonatal abstinence syndrome (NAS) epidemic in Appalachia, which was the basis of some of his previous studies.

Previous reports have shown a 364 percent increase in HCV infections between 2006 and 2012 in the central Appalachian region. But Towers’ study has implications for any region where opioid use is prevalent. HCV is the most common chronic blood-borne infection in the United States.

Towers concluded that sharing straws and other implements such as plastic pens as part of drug use is dangerous. “Any implement that can puncture mucous membranes can transmit blood to another user,” he says.

That’s a problem because, at least in eastern Tennessee and other parts of Appalachia, these drugs are often taken communally. Towers says that in drug busts in the region, police found that a quarter of snorting utensils confiscated had traces of blood on them.

The study did not track the prevalence of HIV in the population, but Towers tells A&U that if HIV were to enter the pool of users, it would spread quickly.

Towers explains this group of pregnant women was specifically chosen for

the study because pregnancy provides a population that is often more motivated for healthcare intervention due to the potential effects on the unborn child.

Towers’ clinic routinely tests for HCV because it was established to serve highrisk women. But testing for hepatitis C is not standard practice in prenatal care in the U.S. The risk of passing HCV to the baby is five to eight percent. The bigger risk is to the mother, and to anyone who doesn’t get tested for hepatitis. That’s because the virus leaves most victims asymptomatic for years, even decades, while doing serious damage to the liver.

“These risks need to be communicated to the public and the healthcare community throughout the region,” Towers tells A&U. A public service campaign telling people to use their own straws when sharing drugs is essential, he adds.

Fortunately, straws are cheaper than syringes. But a public service campaign based around straws only addresses part of a larger issue, Towers says.

“The opioid epidemic is bad and it’s getting worse.”

Towers says the next phase of his research will study the risk of HCV being transmitted to babies during birth.

A summary of the study can be found here: http://bit.ly/2aOrp5F. Larry Buhl is a radio news reporter, screenwriter, and novelist living in Los Angeles.

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lifeguide

Essential Oils

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sense of smell is one of the oldest senses we have from an evolutionary point of view. Creatures with olfactory senses use them to find and identify food, sense danger and even as a mating tool. The sense of smell is how we react and interact with our environment. When a scent enters through the nose, the molecules interplay with the olfactory organs and quickly interact with the brain. The molecules of essential oils can also interact with the respiratory system and lungs when inhaled through the nose or mouth. This is why eucalyptus is a popular scent for certain upper respiratory issues.

We also have to consider the emotional brain, or more anatomically speaking, the limbic system. When we encounter an aroma, the brain is affected through receptor sites. The limbic system interacts with the section of the brain that controls a variety of physical and emotional processes. This is why scents evoke physical reactions, thought, memories and emotions. All of us have likely had the experience of a memory being triggered by a smell or odor. Reactions to scent are very personal and unique and their affects can vary greatly from individual to individual. It is common, for example, for the scent of food to invoke emotion. To this day, for example, cinnamon is a scent I use often, as it reminds me of holidays, long ago, when my family would bake for days in preparation for holiday gatherings. Oddly enough though, there is even a specific scent to water that

comes from a garden hose. I often walk by people watering the flowers and gardens in their front yards and I am immediately reminded of working in the garden with my grandfather during the summers of my childhood. In my travels, I have never encountered an essential oil called “garden hose water.” It doesn’t sound all that appealing from a marketing point of view, though I would buy it.

Some of my favorite essential oils are clary sage, which is a deeply relaxing and comforting essential oil noted for its euphoric properties; geranium, which is known to be balancing, stabilizing and uplifting; helichrysum, a powerful cleansing and regenerative oil; lemongrass, which is not only a stimulating experience but is used to relieve muscle pain and reduce body aches; neroli, which is known for its antidepressant affect and relaxing properties; sweet orange, said to instill optimism and happiness, and ylang ylang, known for its uplifting and relaxing properties.

If you are curious about aromatherapy’s possible benefits, seek out a CAM specialist and start following your nose.

After a lengthy career in the arts and LGBT activism, Robert Zukowski pursued his goal of a career in complementary and alternative healthcare. He is a New York State licensed Massage Therapist, a Certified Medical Massage Therapist and is certified by the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork. In addition to his hands-on work, he is a writer and lecturer in the field of therapeutic massage therapy.

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

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he use of essential oils for healing, both emotional and physical, has been a part of the holistic wellness landscape for a very long time. In fact, some evidence suggests that the practice of using essential oils for medicinal purposes dates back around 6,000 years and has origins across the globe in places such as Greece, China, Egypt, India, and Rome—just to name a few. The word aromatherapy may imply that inhalation is the singular use of aromatic oils. This is not always the case. Certain oils can be applied to the skin and others even ingested. Of course, this depends on the type of practitioner you see and your specific needs and goals. Personally, mint and lavender are a part of my own aromatic rituals. Not only do I apply them to my body and use the scent, but I make tea from them. Mint is known for its positive effects on digestion and lavender is known to potentially reduce anxiety and stress, aid in sleep, and is said to possess anti-inflammatory properties. No matter how you intend to use essential oils, it is of the utmost importance that you work with a trained, experienced professional. There are dosages, contraindications, dilutions, allergies, drug interactions, and more that must be taken into consideration.

For individuals living with HIV/AIDS, aromatherapy may be used to relieve stress and fatigue or to address specific health concerns. Some believe, for example, that the use of certain essential oils may boost immunity and white blood cell production.

Roman chamomile, lemon, bergamot, pine needle, myrrh, and tea tree are among these oils. Certainly, more research is needed to definitively make a solid claim that essential oils can boost immunity, but these are ideas you can explore with your complementary and alternative medicine specialist.

In my own massage therapy practice and in therapeutic massage environments, essential oils are used via inhalation and by application to the skin. The oils are mixed with “carrier” oils before application. Using this method, we employ not only the scent of the oil during its use, but as the skin is a porous organ, the oil can be absorbed into the body.

The olfactory aspect, or sense of smell, of aromatherapy is a powerful tool. The

aromatherapy may offer a host of possible benefits, from destressing to boosting immunity

UN-representative by

I

t happens every five years. The United Nations General Assembly convenes high-level meetings on HIV/AIDS to review progress on the epidemic and draw attention to what should be done. The goals are often lofty and sometimes they are met or exceeded.

This year’s high-level meeting (HLM) in June resulted in an ambitious political declaration to fast-track progress on ending HIV/AIDS over the next five years and ending HIV/AIDS by 2030. The Fast-Track approach of the Joint UN Program on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) set among its short-term (2020) goals, decreasing new HIV infections to fewer than 500,000 globally, decreasing AIDS-related deaths to fewer than 500,000 globally, and delivering treatment to 30 million people worldwide.

The document also includes language committing to bold new commitments by all member states to accelerate HIV prevention, treatment, realize human rights and address gender-based violence. And the declaration allocates $13 billion to replenish the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. It also addressed barriers to affordable, generic medications, diagnostics, and health technologies related to ending AIDS. It was a very progressive document, according to activists present at the meeting. At least the initial draft was.

A funny thing happened on the way to the final draft. Five hours of intense negotiations resulted in a significantly weakened document, stripped of commitments to eliminate discrimination, remove punitive laws and barriers to HIV prevention and treatment for marginalized groups including men who have sex with men (MSMs), drug users, transgender people, prisoners, and sex workers.

These are groups that advocates say are in most need of prevention and treatment resources.

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Larry Buhl

politics & religion erase marginalized groups in u.n. political declaration on ending aids

A political bargaining chip George Ayala, executive director of MSMGF, a global forum on MSM and HIV, says the declaration had some good points, but insists for gay men in countries unfriendly to them, the document demands that they “stay in the closet.”

“Out of seventy-two paragraphs in the document, gay men were referenced in only one paragraph, and then offers no specificity about what should be done for us. The message is that gay men and other marginalized groups don’t matter. These countries can use [the document’s] silence on MSMs to justify laws or policies that criminalize gays.

The countries Ayala refers to include the usual suspects, including Russia, Iran, Indonesia, and a group of Gulf States. These are U.N. members who routinely deny access to quality HIV prevention and treatment services to these marginalized groups, Ayala says.

But he also places some fault with friendly western countries like the U.S. and European nations, who did not fight hard enough for these groups in the consensus document.

Advocates for these groups who were present at the meeting say marginalized groups were used as a political tool in bargaining.

Michael Ighodaro, a program and policy assistant for AVAC, watched some of this wrangling. He tells A&U that countries friendly to these marginalized groups traded away language including them for their own priorities.

“Denmark really wanted language in the document that included sex education and services for young people.

Some countries didn’t want that. So the Danish bargained away language for gay men and transgender people in order to keep sex education services for youth.”

Denmark was far from the only country succumbing to pressure from the anti-LGBT coalition between the first draft and final draft. Ighodaro says that other countries including the U.S.

bargained away wording on LGBTs and other groups, but he wasn’t at liberty to share details.

What was most maddening, Ighodaro says, is that the ambassadors from obstructing nations were generally smart, non-homophobic people who were doing the bidding of their governments.

“Several ambassadors told me that they had gay friends and homosexuality was not evil but they said they couldn’t take a stand for gays because the religion in their countries wouldn’t allow it,” Ighodaro says.

Ighodaro, who’s from Nigeria, spent most of his time in the public U.N. strategy sessions making sure that gay-friendly countries understood the need for inclusion of LGBTs and other groups. Though used to antigay rhetoric, he tells A&U that hearing it on the floor of the U.N. was shocking.

“It was a horror show. It was disgusting. In the room where the countries had to give a reason why they support or don’t support parts of the resolution, these countries from the Middle East and Africa stood up and said, ‘we don’t accept gays, it’s not part of our religion, it’s not part of our culture’ and some other things I don’t want to repeat. I’ve never been anywhere where there was so much hatred expressed.”

U.N. rules prohibit member states from rebutting those comments. But friendlier countries can express affirmations for gays and transgender people and sex workers. And they do. A colleague of Ighodaro from Mexico stood in front of a rainbow flag and pledged unqualified support for LGBTs and other groups which are, in some countries, considered criminals.

Beyond the resolution Kenyon Farrow, the U.S. and global health policy director for the Treatment Action Group (TAC), tells A&U that he’s “a little cynical” about the U.N. and what can be accomplished in terms of HIV. “The U.N. doesn’t have the power A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

lifeguide

to compel countries to honor anything they’ve committed to [in the document].

So, even if we had the perfect U.N. document, then what? Activists still have to do the work and make sure the country does the work they signed on to.”

But if the U.N. lacks enforcement levers to ensure that marginalized groups are served—even if they were included in the document—why would ambassadors from some member states fight so hard to exclude these groups from the document’s language? The answer, according to activists, is politics.

“The U.N. is a political place through which countries are making statements about their own values,” Farrow says. “It [the declaration] is used to reflect what the constituents back home want to hear.”

Farrow adds that global and local activists can and should use the blatant exclusion of marginalized groups in the declaration to organize for real change at the ground level.

SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

Some are doing just that.

Niluka Perera, projects officer at Youth Voices Count, an LGBT youth advocacy group in the Asia Pacific region, tells A&U that the U.N. declaration also lacks any references to young key populations at high risk of contracting HIV. His solution: interventions at the regional level.

“The epidemic is getting younger and in this situation member states choosing to ignore young key populations is unacceptable. We need to bring this awareness to our constituencies at the country level to inform their interventions and advocacy.”

Perera says his network plans to conduct a series or webinars especially for its members to orient them on the political deceleration. “The goal is to explore what as young people we should do both at the country level and the regional level to make sure that young key populations are not left behind,” he says.

From there, Perera says, members will be developing informational materials on the political deceleration to be used by members at the country level and organizing training sessions regionally in order to develop a regional plan for HIV/ AIDS outreach, prevention and treatment for young people.

Perera suggests that, as bad as the U.N. declaration was for marginalized communities, advocates shouldn’t get angry. They should get organized. Farrow would agree with this approach.

“As far as the U.N. declaration relates to people impacted by HIV, it’s an opportunity for civil society to call out all of the contradictions in the countries and for groups to organize around that, even when their countries sign on to the document or when they don’t sign on. That’s where the potential win is.”

Larry Buhl writes A&U’s monthly Hep Talk column.

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E R U T CUL S THE

AID OF

BOOKS Not Straight, Not White: Black Gay Men from the March on Washington to the AIDS Crisis

by Kevin J. Mumford University of North Carolina Press

L

ong is the history of blackness in America, from slavery to the civil rights movement, the AIDS epidemic and more. However much of this history is lost in translation, as many of the stories of these icons during modern times stories have been “watered down” for consumption of the masses based on society’s standards of acceptance. Not Straight, Not White tells the truth about many of our black ancestors’ stories, with the inclusion of their queer identity and the reaction of a community that struggled to give them acceptance despite their sexual identities.

The book brilliantly discusses the complicated lives of many of our freedom fighters and leaders, such as James Baldwin and Joseph Beam, throughout various movements while giving an in-depth look at how sexuality and gender were viewed during those time periods. The queer identity in the black community has never quite been told like this as the book brilliantly takes a look at this topic through various lived experiences as well as the community views and thoughts on this issue. Although not universal, the book gives the notion that the queer identity had been widely known about even if it wasn’t being talked about. Queer blacks have been at the forefront and often front line of every movement absent their sexual identity. The book does an amazing job of giving these leaders context, truth, and shows them as their most true selves.

When the book gets into the AIDS epidemic, it sheds light on how hysteria, ho-

58

mophobia, and refusal of the black community to understand the intersections of that led to a delayed response in addressing it. The book even takes a risk by touching on the “often kept quiet” subject of the black church and its refusal of acceptance of black gays and queers during the AIDS epidemic, for which the reader is rewarded with a new understanding of how even the most “accepting” can have biases.

Overall, the book is an amazing reference that gives historical context of Black America around some of the most taboo subjects in our history. Never have I read a book that is as entertaining as it is informing. This book is a must-read for anyone looking to gain knowledge about the past lives of our ancestors and our legacy, something often erased to appease the masses.

—George M. Johnson

Christodora

by Tim Murphy Grove Press Christodora is a brilliantly wrought novel epic in scope, but executed with a deft and sure hand. It is the story of a fabled apartment building, a neighborhood, a movement, and a city through the eyes of a group of unforgettable characters. From the early days of AIDS in the eighties until the not-so-distant year of 2021, the plot weaves in and out of time, adeptly leaving the reader eager for more at the end of each chapter. All is forthcoming, cliffhangers finished and surprises in store, the expected doesn’t always turn out the way you tell yourself it will.

One of the novel’s central character, whose actions and choices end up tying many of the main protagonists together, is a young Latina, Issy. She contracts HIV through a sexual encounter with a bisexual man in the eighties and finds herself in the middle of the large community of radical AIDS activists from whom she draws strength and purpose. Later, under treatment with AZT, she delivers a healthy baby boy whom is later adopted by a prosperous young artistic couple living in the Christodora building on Ninth Street facing

Tompkins Square Park. I lived just around the corner on Tenth Street in the AIDS years and the author captures a painful yet also joyful time perfectly.

Every detail is there, from what gay young men like myself wore almost as a uniform and where a neighborhood ate, drank, danced, and socialized.

And then there’s ACT UP. Murphy doesn’t name the movement, but it could be no other. Brave young men and women fought hard for the attention of an indifferent, obstructionist government and nation.

He captures the meetings, the varied and colorful protesters, the demonstrations that all culminated in the life-saving drugs that today are saving our lives and preventing more infections. Murphy also reminds us beautifully that it wasn’t only middle-class, white young men who were dying during those early years, all the time fighting for their lives and the lives of their compatriots. There are many stories to tell in this highly compelling novel.

He writes authentically of addiction, mental health, parenting, and the many manifestations of sexual identity in our modern era.

At the novel’s closing chapter we find Mateo, Issy’s adult son, returning to New York. He’s regained his career as a promising young artist after a long battle with heroin addiction. This isn’t his first trip back after a self-imposed exile in L.A., but he knows in his heart that it will be transformative. He is returning to complete an art project on the Lower East Side, his home turf at the height of his struggle with drugs.

Gazing out the plane window, he sees Manhattan, (“There will never be a drug that hits him as hard and as fast as New York City, the first sight of which, swallowed whole from above, seizes him with dizzying waves of exhilaration, nostalgia, and panic.”) At its heart, this story lives by the color the author breathes into his protagonists, their joys, their sorrows, and ultimately, their redemption.

—John Francis Leonard George M. Johnson writes A&U’s monthly Our Story, Our Time column.

John Francis Leonard writes A&U’s monthly Bright Lights, Small City column.

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

edition 26

5-11 oct. 2016

Main event 9 oct.

BBcM.org

T

A Calendar of Events

he United States Conference on AIDS (USCA), organized by NMAC, is convening this month in the Sunshine State, bringing together researchers, clinicians, advocates, and others.

Now in its twentieth year, USCA is building on the new meeting formats introduced last year to provide attendees the latest insights and best practices on addressing race in HIV services; biomedical HIV prevention (including PrEP, PEP, Treatment as Prevention, or TasP, and START, or Strategic Timing of Anti-Retroviral Treatment); cisgender/ transgender women and violence; public policy; strategies taken up by federal agencies; beneficial advances in communications and technology; young gay men, particularly gay men of color; leadership skills; structural interventions for HIV prevention; and

60

living with HIV in the U.S., particularly addressing stigma and aging. The conference will also capitalize on its Florida location to bring focus to the epidemic’s impact on the Caribbean diaspora, this year’s target population.

Dr. David Ho and singer Jennifer Holliday will help to open the conference at the plenary on the morning of September 15. On the evening of September 17, Last Men Standing, a documentary about longterm survivors in San Francisco, will play, followed by a panel discussion.

Dates: September 15–18; location: The Diplomat Resort, Hollywood, Florida.

For more information, log on to: www.2016usca.org.

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

“

We need to throw away the stigma and fear about HIV testing.

It’s time we make HIV testing a part of our health routine.

— Jay Ellis, Actor

”

I’M

DOING IT Testing for HIV

#DoingIt Testing is Fast, Free, and Confidential cdc.gov/DoingIt

Rightfully so. I understand near the end of his life Freddie suffered.

I know only what Peter Freestone, his loyal and loving PA right to the end, has told me personally. Peter said that Freddie was going blind: the greatest tragedy because it meant he couldn’t paint anymore.

Painting was a hobby into which Freddie retreated towards the end. Peter nursed Freddie, because, he said, there was no one else to do it. He had help from Freddie’s boyfriend, Jim Hutton, and from Joe Fanelli, who also lived at the house. Freddie didn’t want strangers in the house.

He didn’t want to see people. More to the point, he didn’t want anyone seeing him “like that.” Freddie had a Hickman line in his chest through which they were able to give him his drugs.

Bless…his…heart.

Perhaps he was only receiving painkillers right at the end, when all hope was lost, but I don’t know. I wasn’t there.

You’d have to ask Peter. Some things are just a little too private to share.

Are you still in contact with any of Queen’s band members?

Brian May is a cherished friend. I published a novel recently: Imagine: Where Were You The Night John Lennon Died? (Mulcahy Books). Brian read it ahead of publication, and wrote me a quote for the cover, which is splashed right across the front in big letters: “Real, Surreal and Uniquely Chilling!” It’s the kind of publicity a novelist can only dream of. It’s set in the music business and features composites of every rock industry character I’ve ever known, loved and loathed.

I’m intrigued already. Loved John Lennon!

You mention in Mercury that at one time there was going to be a Freddie biopic, backed by TriBeca Films and starring

62

Sacha Baron Cohen?

Sacha’s out and has been quite scornful of the whole thing in the press recently. Brian said not long ago that he wants Ben Whishaw—the new Q in James Bond—to play Freddie.

[I interrupt Lesley-Ann and applaud loudly.]

What an actor. Love him! Ben could certainly portray Freddie and do him justice.

Screenwriter Peter Morgan is off the case. He couldn’t agree on a script with Roger and Brian, who appear to want a film about Queen and how they went on to even greater world dominance after Freddie’s death; while Peter saw the film focusing on Freddie. Director Stephen Frears was involved at one point. [She pauses.] I wonder whether this movie will ever happen now? It

has been dragging on for so long.

What one thing stands out for you about Freddie?

That out on stage he was Hercules—a fierce, gigantic warrior. He could hold 300,000 people in the palm of his hand. But when he walked away from the stage at the conclusion of a performance, it was as if he dropped the stardom the way we take off an overcoat. He shrank back down to this little, modest guy.

When he was not performing, he did nothing to draw attention to himself. “Freddie Mercury of Queen” was entirely an act.

Rock on over to www.lesleyannjones.com for more!

Ruby Comer is an independent journalist from the Midwest who is happy to call Hollywood her home away from home. Reach her by e-mail at MsRubyComer@aol.com.

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

photo © Mick Rock, 1974, 2016

continued from page 23

Ruby’s Rap

he was dying: “ain’t nobody’s bizniz but my own.” But certain factions of the press still refused to back off. They camped around the clock outside his house, Garden Lodge, in Kensington. They were waiting for him to die. Freddie became a prisoner in his own home. He couldn’t have gone out, even if he’d wanted or been able to. I was a journalist too, but I felt ashamed of my profession. [Lesley-Ann briefly glances away.]

It’s been suggested that he could have made a contribution to AIDS awareness by speaking earlier about his situation and his fight against the disease. Mercury kept his condition private to protect those closest to him.

SEPTEMBER 2016 • A&U

63

Survival Guide

[a portrait by sean black]

Connie Rose “As a society, we can end not only HIV/AIDS but every STD/STI, without help from any outside source if we as individuals make our sexual health a priority. We do this by knowing our status and protecting that status with every resource available. Like PrEP, TasP, and by creating awareness around the Undetectable = Uninfectious campaign that cites 58,000 instances of condomless penetrative sex with zero transmissions. We do that in hopes that it pushes those who are living unknowingly with HIV or possibly AIDS, to get in and get tested.

Know your status and make HIV end with us.”

Connie Rose is long-term survivor living with HIV for more than twenty years. She is the founder of livingpos.com, an information and blogging website dedicated to awareness surrounding 4 of the Hs in the STD/STI community: HIV, HSV, HPV, HCV. One blog at a time, she is changing the world!

Sean Black is a Senior Editor of A&U. 64

A&U • SEPTEMBER 2016

Kelly Gluckman, twenty-nine, was born and raised in the San Fernando Valley. Since becoming HIV-positive in 2010, she has become passionate about sexual health education for high school and college students and creating social change through telling her story and being public about her HIV status. She is proud to be a part of Sex Squad at UCLA and to represent The Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation as one of its ambassadors.

You want time for important things Š2015 Walgreen Co. All rights reserved.

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