A&U Magazine November 2021

art & understanding for 30 years

Phyllis Christopher Tracy L. Johnson, Jr. Black Women’s Health Imperative Fiction by

Robert Cataldo Poetry by

Lynn Caldwell & Scott Hightower A&U’s 20th Annual Holiday Gift Guide

richard l.

ZALDIVAR

Celebrates The Wall Las Memorias Project and Its Dedication to Latinx, LGBTQ+ & Other Underserved Communities

NOVEMBER 2021 | ISSUE 325

IMPORTANT FACTS FACTS FOR FOR BIKTARVY® BIKTARVY® IMPORTANT

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Contents

November

2021

12

FEATURE

Advocate Tracy L. Johnson, Jr., Amplifies His Voice to Raise AIDS Awareness

COVER STORY

26

A&U's Hank Trout Talks to Richard L. Zaldivar About Strengthening Communities Through Better Health with The Wall Las Memorias Project

22

GALLERY

Photog Phyllis Christopher Documents Pleasure & Protest Through a Lesbian Lens

FEATURES

16 Fiction The Little Gods of Desire by Robert Cataldo 19 Poetry Diagnosis Afternoon 1991 by Scott Hightower 48 Poetry Derek Jarman's Death by Lynn Caldwell

DEPARTMENTS 4 Frontdesk 6 Digital Footprints 10 NewsBreak

cover photo by Tommy Wu

A&U's 20th Annual Holiday Gift Guide Helps You Help Others

viewfinder 8

34

FEATURE

For the Long Run

lifeguide

42 Money Matters 43 Under Reported 44 The Culture of AIDS 47 Lifelines

Frontdesk From the Editor

Chains of Love

AMERICA’S AIDS MAGAZINE issue 325 vol. 30 no. 11 November 2021 editorial offices: (518) 992-2232 fax: (518) 436-5354

N

ot too long ago we were thanking essential workers——for example, grocery store clerks, delivery people, and most importantly healthcare workers——for being on the front lines of the pandemic. Now it seems gripes have replaced gratitude. And just in time for the holiday season people may have more to bemoan. A Bloomberg article headline screams, “Christmas at Risk as Supply Chain ‘Disaster’ Only Gets Worse.”

Keeping in mind the probelmatic fact that the media and others imply that the supply chain situation affects only Christians, let’s look at the Chicken Little approach to this economic crisis more closely. First, as many memes of social media have reminded us, Christmas is not at risk. Christmas and Kwanzaa and Hanukkah can (and should, many say) be celebrated in a nonmaterialistic way. Second, many people are not worried about consuming increasingly pricy goods; they are worried about keeping or finding a job with a livable wage. Third, I am concerned about replenishing our emotional wells more than I am concerned about stocking toys on shelves (though, of course, I don’t want to see children suffer any more than they have during this pandemic).

What do I mean by “our emotional wells”? It would be nice to think that we humans have a limitless supply of love, gratitude, and good will, but we don’t. Look at the frontline healthcare workers who are putting themselves (and often their families) at risk for COVID as they continue to perform their caring labor. Stress and anxiety deform their best intentions. Many have burned out; some have killed themselves. They cannot simply call to port tankers full of joy and jocularity.

I’ve seen this emotional bottoming-out and need for refueling before, when I was experiencing the loss of life to HIV/AIDS during the worst years of the pandemic.

Besides myself, I saw friends, acquaintances, and colleagues reach their limit. They still cared, but they were exhausted.

I’m not sure I have any grand solution for replenishing our emotional wells. For me, it helped to create.

I created the magazine. I created a forum for others to share what they created. Bit by bit, page by page, I found a way back to wellness.

This month’s cover story subject, HIV/AIDS advocate Richard L. Zaldivar, also forged resilience through creating something. In 1993, he created The Wall Las Memorias Project in Los Angeles in order to bolster community health and promote culturally tailored HIV/AIDS awareness. He fought many obstacles and in the end enriched the health of many. As he tells Senior Editor Hank Trout, the attention to addressing the needs of the communities that the organization serves is still laser-focused: “Just like HIV, COVID-19 disproportionately affected Latinx and other communities of color. We were able to continue offering those communities culturally

Editor in Chief & Publisher David Waggoner Managing Editor: Chael Needle Senior Editors: Dann Dulin, Hank Trout Editor at Large: Chip Alfred Special Projects Editor: Lester Strong Arts Editor: Alina Oswald Fiction Editor: Raymond Luczak; Nonfiction Editor: Jay Vithalani; Drama Editor: Bruce Ward; Poetry Editor: Philip F. Clark; Copy Editor: Maureen Hunter

competent information about the virus and how to stop its spread.” Check out this important interview, beautifully illustrated by the photography of Tommy Wu. Other features highlight the power of creativity as a response to crisis. Managing Editor Chael Needle interviews Ohio-based advocate Tracy L. Johnson, Jr., who turned his HIV diagnosis at a young age into his life’s mission to educate about the disease. He also interviews photographer Phyllis Christopher for this month’s Gallery. In the late eighties, nineties, and beyond, she used her artistic medium to document and celebrate the lesbian community of San Francisco, moments of pleasure mingled with moments of protest.

Our twentieth annual Holiday Gift Guide, compiled and written by Hank Trout, shines a spotlight on organizations that have used creativity to establish programs, provide vital services, and raise funds for HIV/AIDS. Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, Visual AIDS, San Francisco AIDS Foundation, Until There’s A Cure, God’s Love We Deliver, and Let’s Kick ASS are all determined to create better health outcomes for their clients. Artist Paul Richmond and Adam’s Nest’s Adam Singer are also using their talents to raise funds for HIV/AIDS. Browse the products they are offering to help individuals in need.

And I encourage you to see what you can do to create better health outcomes in your community.

If the global supply chain is stymied by barriers, the local supply chain of volunteering, donations, and awareness can keep on rolling. The holiday season might be canceled——but health should never be!

DAVID WAGGONER

Contributing Editors: Reed Massengill, Kelly McQuain, Lesléa Newman, Robert E. Penn, Nick Steele Contributing Writers: Ruby Comer, Alacias Enger, Claire Gasamagera, John Francis Leonard, Corey Saucier, Jeannie Wraight Art Director: Timothy J. Haines Contributing Photographers: Davidd Batalon, Tom Bianchi, Holly Clark, Stephen Churchill Downes, Greg Gorman, Francis Hills, Tom McGovern, Annie Tritt, Tommy Wu National Advertising Director: Harold Burdick, Jr. Sales & Marketing: David L. Bonitatibus Advertising Sales Office: (518) 992-2232 National Advertising Representative: Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 Subscription Info: (518) 992-2232 Circulation Manager: Robert Schelepanow Bookkeeper: Richard Garcia Board of Directors President: David Waggoner Vice President: Harold Burdick, Jr. Secretary: Richard Garcia Founding Board Members: Mark S. Labrecque, 1961–1992, Christopher Hewitt, 1946–2004, Mark Galbraith, 1962–2011

In Memoriam: Bill Jacobson, 1939–2005 Rhomylly B. Forbes, 1963–2011 • Chris Companik, 1957–2012 Nancy Ellegate, 1959–2015 • Patricia Nell Warren 1936–2019 A&U (ISSN 1074-0872) is published by Art & Understanding, Inc., 25 Monroe St., Suite 205, Albany, NY 12210-2743, USA. For A&U advertising information please call 518-992-2232; for subscriptions and address changes please call 518-992-2232; for letters to the editor and unsolicited manuscripts write A&U Magazine, 25 Monroe Street, Albany, New York 12210; fax 518-436-5354; or e-mail: mailbox@aumag.org. All unsolicited manuscripts that do not have a S.A.S.E. cannot be returned and will not be acknowledged. ©2021 Art & Understanding, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. A&U may not be reproduced in any manner, either in whole or in part, without written permission of the publisher. A&U and the graphic representations thereof are the registered trademarks of Art & Understanding, Inc., a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization. Individual Subscription rates: $24.95 (12 issues). Institutional rates: $80.00 (12 issues). For subscriptions outside the USA and possessions, $30.95/Canada, $49.95/international, payable in advance in U.S. currency. First North American serial rights revert to contributors upon publication. A&U retains the right to anthologize work in further issues, as well as in microform or reprinting on the Internet within the context of each issue.

Statements of writers, artists and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publisher. Readers note: subjects and contributors to A&U are both HIV-positive and HIV-negative. In the absence of a specific statement herein concerning the serostatus of any individual mentioned in, or contributing material to, this publication, no inference is made with respect thereto and none should be implied.

Letters written to A&U or its contributors are assumed intended for publication. Art & Understanding, Inc. assumes no responsibility or liability for unsolicited submissions and does not guarantee the return thereof.

PostMaster: Please send address corrections to A&U Magazine, 25 Monroe Street, Suite 205, Albany NY 12210-2743, USA

Printed in USA • Visit our Web site at www.aumag.org

Digital Digital D ig igi git ita taal Footprints Fo Footprints ootpprint in nts ts mosttweeted Hank Trout’s article about a new documentary, AIDS Diva, generated a lot of interest and once again proved that its subject, activist Connie Norman, has left a lasting legacy.

Photo courtesy Chuck Stallard art & understanding for 30 years

Gina Brown

AIDS Diva Connie Norman

mostloved

Peter Staley

“Beautiful cover!” was the consensus on Instagram. Timothy J. Haines’ photos of advocate and writer Martina Clark perfectly complemented the insightful cover story by Hank Trout.

Poetry by Ajay Sawant & Nancy Whitecar

martina

CLARK

In My Unexpected Life, the Former UNAIDS Staffer and Writer Recounts Her Personal and Professional Battle Against HIV/AIDS & COVID-19

OCTOBER 2021 | ISSUE 324

Photo by Timothy J. Haines

mostshared A Paris exhibition, ArtPositive, curated by Boré Ivanoff struck a blow against HIV stigma and October’s Gallery about the artists struck a chord with readers.

@AmericasAIDSMagazine

6

@au_magazine

@au_americas_aids_magazine • NOVEMBER 2021

FOR THE LONG RUN

TOXIC! MASCULINITY! IN SPACE!

Remember When Billionaires Built Libraries, Museums, Colleges?

L

ast week, I chatted at length with my dear friend and former English professor at WVU, the brilliant Dr. Judith Gold Stitzel. Among other things, we talked about the current “space race” involving the billionaires Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos. We both expressed our disgust at the shameless, egotistical waste of hundreds of millions of dollars just so two spoiled, filthy rich boys-clubbers can gaze down on us peasants and gloat. As we talked, it hit me——this space race is an example of toxic masculinity on steroids.

George Carlin once said that war is nothing more than two men facing off and waving their dicks at each other. Branson and Bezos are doing the same thing in space.

The concept of toxic masculinity refers to certain cultural norms in Western society that a “real man” must live up to, even though they are harmful to society and to men themselves. Traditional traits associated with “being a man”——socially and sexually dominant, physically aggressive, “masters” of their domain, stoic, independent, assertive, emotionally insensitive——can and do lead to bullying, misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia evidenced by violence, including sexual assault and domestic violence. Boys are socialized in patriarchal societies that emphasize power, and disregard consequences or responsibility, in ways

8

that normalize violence, excusing it with “boys will be boys.”

And shameless billionaires will be shameless billionaires.

Remember when billionaires used their fortunes to build public institutions like libraries, colleges, museums, and concert halls? Now, I’m sure that that the Carnegies and Mellons and Heinzes were no saints, and certainly Branson, Bezos, et al., have made substantial charitable contributions to various organizations——but for me, that doesn’t excuse their wasting hundreds of millions of dollars on what amounts to nothing more than a private pissing contest in space. Their purported sense of civic responsibility seems to be a pretty damn shallow cover for their macho posturing.

Although we’ve always lived with toxic masculinity, in the last five years or so it has run rampant, informing almost every aspect of American culture.

It’s there in religion, with evangelicals having “cancelled” the loving peaceful Christ and replacing him with a hyper-masculine AK-47-wielding Rambo Jesus. It has seized control of one political party that has abandoned all of its traditional principles in favor of hero-worshipping a crass, vulgar, dishonest, racist, sexually promiscuous, violent, homophobic, misogynistic, ill-educated, dumb-as-a-stump creep——in their eyes, the epitome of masculinity.

His very public vulgar toxicity——what other candidate has ever discussed the size of his penis in a presidential debate?——has given the imprimatur to other vulgarians to act out. The events of January 6 at the U.S. Capitol attest to that.

We long-term survivors remember well how toxic masculinity shaped the initial response to AIDS in the 1980s, when the prevailing public attitude seemed to be, “Let the faggots die.” We remember the huge spike in anti-gay bashings and homicides that occurred in the early years of the pandemic.

We remember also how women in the HIV community have been mistreated from the beginning of the pandemic. We remember that it took several years for the CDC to revise its definition of AIDS to include women. Women were routinely blocked from clinical trials of HIV medication because “women don’t get AIDS.” As Sarah Schulman [A&U, August 2021] points out in Let the Record Show, one reason for that exclusion of women was rooted in the 1960s disaster with thalidomide, a medication for morning sickness that caused thousands of children to be born without limbs; the pharmaceutical companies feared liability if something similar happened with the new HIV drugs. But as she also points out, the primary reason for the exclusion was simple neglect. “[A]t the time, science did not think about women.” Due to the work of ACT UP, conditions have improved somewhat; but still, there are parts of the world where women account for the majority of people living with HIV. I wish I could offer a solution, an antidote to the toxic masculinity in society, but I can’t. I do know, however, that the one weak spot that all these toxically masculine men share is their extremely fragile egos. Mel Brooks, defending his making fun of Hitler in The Producers, explained that when confronted with Evil on such a mass scale, the only weapon common folks like us have is humor, the power to humiliate the powerful. And so I will continue to poke the bear, assaulting their egos, diminishing them as they try to diminish all of us.

So, Richard! Jeff! My darlings! The next time you feel the urge to climb into your multi-million-dollar metal phallus and thrust yourselves into space to wave your dick at us…DON’T. Keep it in your pants. Go build a library or something.

Hank Trout, Senior Editor, edited Drummer, Malebox, and Folsom magazines in the early 1980s. A long-term survivor of HIV/AIDS (diagnosed in 1989), he is a forty-one-year resident of San Francisco, where he lives with his husband Rick.

• NOVEMBER 2021

illustration by Timothy J. Haines

viewfinder

by Hank Trout

Without health justice, we cannot end the HIV epidemic.

Show your support at sfaf.org/shop

NewsBreak

counterfeit Biktarvy and Descovy found in u.s.

O

n August 5, 2021, Gilead Sciences announced that it had become aware that tampered or counterfeit versions of Biktarvy, its once-daily single-tablet HIV treatment regimen, and of Descovy, its HIV treatment and prevention medication, have been found within U.S. distribution networks. They said that distributors not authorized by Gilead to sell Gilead-branded medicine have sold these counterfeits to pharmacies where genuine Gilead bottles have been tampered with a counterfeit foil induction seal or label and contain incorrect tablets.

Gilead has worked with the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to inform potentially impacted pharmacies to check their supplies of Gilead-produced medications to ensure the authenticity of the

drugs and to remain vigilant to prevent the spread of tampered or counterfeit medicines.

Fortunately, there have been no reported adverse events related to the use of the counterfeit product. However, Gilead warns that “[c]ounterfeit and tampered medicines can bring serious and sometimes life-threatening health risks to individuals. These medicines are not equivalent in quality, safety, and/or efficacy to genuine medicines. They often do not contain the correct medicine or amount of active ingredient and may also contain impurities. Additionally, these medicines may be produced in unsafe manufacturing conditions and travel through insecure supply chains.”

You can check your supply of Biktarvy or Descovy rather easily: 1) Authentic Biktarvy tablets are purplish-brown, capsule-shaped pills with “9883” on one side and “GSI” on the other. Authentic Descovy

tablets are blue, rectangular pills with “225” on one side and “GSI” on the other.

2) FDA requires that Biktarvy and Descovy are dispensed in original packaging. Confirm that your dispensed 30-count bottle of Biktarvy or Descovy are received in bottles that are white plastic, with white plastic caps, and Gilead-branded labels.

3) Confirm that your Biktarvy and Descovy were dispensed from a pharmacy that sources Gilead medicine directly from Gilead-authorized distributors. A list of Gilead’s authorized distributors can be found at https:// www.gilead.com/purpose/medication-access/authorized-distributors.

If you think you have been dispensed a counterfeit and/or tampered Gilead medication, immediately report the medicine to your doctor and pharmacy and Gilead Product Quality Complaints (1-800445-3235, Option #2; or log on to QualityComplaints@gilead.com).

#ShesWell engages clinicians through provider publications and professional organization email listservs, a revised CDC PrEP resource kit, promotion of digital advertisements for clinician offices and waiting rooms, and social media advertising. Newly developed resources from the #ShesWell project will be available via the Together site later in 2021.

The #ShesWell initiative initially launched in June

2021 in four Ending the HIV Epidemic in the U.S. (EHE) jurisdictions: Tampa/St. Petersburg, Florida; Orlando, Florida; Fort Worth, Texas; and Columbus, Ohio.

For more information about #ShesWell and the Let’s Stop HIV Together (LSHT) campaign, visit: www.cdc.gov/stophivtogether to find resources and Together partners that support efforts to stop HIV stigma and promote HIV testing, prevention, and treatment.

CDC's #ShesWell initiative promotes PrEP awareness for women

A

s part of its Let’s Stop HIV Together (LSHT) campaign, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) launched a new initiative, #ShesWell, to focus on increasing awareness about PrEP among women and their healthcare providers.

The goal, ultimately, is to increase PrEP use among women at risk for HIV transmission.

The #ShesWell resources aim to educate women about the availability and benefits of PrEP and to encourage women to engage in forthright conversations with their healthcare providers to determine if they should start a regimen of PrEP. The organizers hope to reach such women with both organic and paid social media efforts, and ads on dating apps, digital web banners, digital radio, and video streams.

The initiative’s work with clinicians and other healthcare providers aims to raise their awareness of the use benefits of PrEP as a powerful tool to prevent new HIV infections among women. The goal is to empower clinicians to talk to their female patients about whether PrEP is right for them, prescribe PrEP if appropriate, and provide tools and resources highlighting the CDC’s PrEP guidelines and recommendations, making PrEP services a routine part of care.

10

• NOVEMBER 2021

phase 2b hiv trial vaccine fails

P

reliminary analysis of the Imbokodo study of an experimental HIV vaccine demonstrated that the vaccine did not provide sufficient protection against transmission of HIV. The preliminary analysis, conducted by an independent data and safety monitoring board, concluded that the study in a population of at-risk young women in sub-Saharan Africa, did not meet its goal, with results falling short of statistical significance. Thus, the Imbokodo study has been discontinued, although further analysis continues.

Begun in 2017, the Imbokodo study reached full enrollment in 2019, and completed vaccinations in June 2020. The study evaluated the experimental regimen in approximately 2,600 women between ages eighteen and thirty-five across five countries—— Malawi, Mozambique, South Africa, Zambia and Zimbabwe——where, according to UNAIDS, women and girls accounted for 63% of all new HIV infections in this region in 2020.

The study’s primary endpoint was based on the difference in number of new HIV transmissions between the placebo and vaccine groups from month seven (one month after the third vaccination timepoint) through month 24. This data found that through 24 months of follow up, 63 participants who received placebo (4.32% incidence) acquired HIV, compared to 51 participants who received active vaccine acquired

NMAC launches the national HIV and aging advocacy network

O

n September 16, 2021, NMAC and its Strong and Healthy Program launched the National HIV and Aging Advocacy Network (NHAAN) to commemorate the National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day (September 18).

Moises Agosto, Director of Treatment, said in NMAC’s press release, “NHAAN is a network of individuals advocating for our collective and cumulative interests as persons aging with HIV. For the past year, a group of NMAC’s HIV 50+ scholars has been creating NHAAN to build a strong network of HIV 50+ advocates on the foundation established by the Denver Principles and MIPA [Meaning Involvementof People Living with HIV/AIDS]. The Network’s vision is to envision a world in which all people thrive as they age with HIV: Physically, socially,

NOVEMBER 2021 •

HIV (3.61% incidence). This analysis demonstrated a disappointing vaccine efficacy of only 25.2% (95% confidence interval of vaccine efficacy -10.5% to 49.3%).

Participants in this Phase 2b proof-of-concept study who acquired HIV will be referred to high-quality treatment and care.

“The high rates of HIV acquisition seen in the Imbokodo study of young women in sub-Saharan Africa remind us that, despite great progress made in treatment and prevention, HIV remains a huge health challenge for the region,” Glenda Gray, Protocol Chair and Co-Principal Investigator and Director of HVTN Africa Programs and President & CEO of the South African Medical Research Council, said in a press release. “This underpins the need to apply the knowledge gained from this trial to continue to advance the pursuit of a global HIV vaccine.”

Although the Imbokodo study has been discontinued, the Phase 3 Mosaico study, or HVTN 706/ HPX3002, is testing the safety and efficacy of an “optimized” experimental vaccine regimen in a different population and in different areas of the world.

financially, spiritually, emotionally, and in all aspects of their lives.”

The CDC estimates that by 2030, PLHIV fifty years and older will constitute 70% of the individuals living with HIV in the U.S. This group comprises the first and largest cohort of people living with HIV. Clinical data suggest that aging with HIV will become a significant public health challenge requiring action at the federal, state, and local levels, as aging PLHIV face premature aging and comorbidities, isolation and loneliness, and many psychosocial, mental, and economic difficulties.

“There are a significant number of issues that need attention,” said Agosto. “First, we need biomedical research to understand better the biology of aging with HIV. Second, we need to upgrade the regular medical care and psychosocial services for HIV+ people to respond to the needs of those HIV 50+. Same with mental health, substance abuse, and other social

determinants of health. Aging and HIV have a prominent place in NMAC’s policy agenda.”

NHAAN’s first action, “Advocating for Older People Living with HIV,” a virtual panel on HIV and aging, took place on September 17.

Other planned actions include lobbying for the modernization and reauthorization of the Ryan White Care Act; getting the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to prioritize and fund research on HIV and aging; and encouraging collaboration between the Health Resources and Services Administration’s HIV AIDS Bureau (HAB) and the HHS Administration on Aging.

For more information on NHAAN, please visit https://www.nmac.org/empowerment-actions-to-advance-the-hiv-elders-policy-agenda/.

11

Advocate

A&U’s Chael Needle Talks to Tracy L. Johnson, Jr., About HIV Outreach

D

photos by Eben Reed; Instagram @ezshot_production

iagnosed with HIV on August 17, 2005, when he was a teen, Tracy L. Johnson, Jr., faced the first few years of living with HIV without a broad foundation of support. He had to struggle to build up his selfworth, especially after years of feeling devalued in special education classes. He had to set aside some of his dreams——like his passion for cooking, becoming the first singing chef on TV, and traveling the world. He had to drop out of high school, overwhelmed by his diagnosis and needing to work to help keep a roof over his head. He needed more “love, compassion, and support” from his mother he notes, but she was busy with a house full of kids and mulitple jobs.

What a difference a decade and a half makes!

Now he helps others know their self-worth as an HIV advocate and educator. He went back to school, graduating in 2010 from the Cleveland Job Corps with a high school diploma and medical assistant certification. He currently works at a bakery as a kitchen assistant and cooks for fun at home. He has a more solid relationship with his mother as well as his father. He is married and has four children, one son and three daughters.

He also makes good use of his spare time.

Says Tracy: “I love entertaining with my wife and children, whether it’s dancing and singing at home or out in public sightseeing and traveling.

I love to go out for karaoke to help ease my pain physically, mentally, and emotionally. I love volunteering at a local bakery called Chanelle’s Treatz in Shaker Square, Ohio. I also love volunteering at a group home for adults with developmental disabilities called Loc’s, an adult care facility in Cleveland Ohio.”

In 2011, he launched Voice by an Angel Outreach, Inc., in Cleveland, Ohio, in order to ensure that everyone who lives with or is affected by HIV/STI can lead a long and healthy life as empowered individuals. The organization also addresses other challenges people may face with navigating drugs/alcohol, homelessness, abuse, or sex work. It primarily focuses on youth.

Notes Tracy: “Every element of the mission statement are things that I’ve experienced, so I wanted to

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• NOVEMBER 2021

take people on a journey to let them know I am more than just HIV.” As for the name of the organization, he shares: “My favorite TV show coming up as a kid was Touched by an Angel. I love the different stories and I love the miracles that happen in each scenario. I base my life off that show——I went through a lot of hell, but for every issue I’ve been through I learned a beautiful lesson that I utilize today in my outreach.”

Voice by an Angel is celebrating its tenth anniversary on December 12 with a formal-dress event that includes a resource fair, appetizers, cocktails, dinner and a ceremony. Check the organization’s Facebook page for details.

A&U had the chance to correpond with Tracy L. Johnson, Jr., recently.

Chael Needle: Why did you start Voice by an Angel Outreach?

Tracy L. Johnson, Jr.: When I was between the ages of sixteen and seventeen, I was the youngest person in the state of Ohio who was open about their HIV status. I did not see many young people like me for a while. I wanted [my status] to make a difference. I wanted people to know that it is okay to be young and living with a condition that most people don’t have as a teenager, unless they were born with it. I also know what I desired as a teenager, so I took all of those things that I missed as a teenager or what I did not tell anyone and I focused it in this outreach.

And what are some of your strategies when it comes to messaging and reaching out to young people?

Some of my strengths in reaching people is using my voice singing or using a powerful affirmation that caters to the mind, body, and soul....Often times I find myself going to a very deep intimate place to get on a personal level with doing this; it brings a message of diversity, compassion, and mutual respect.

“

Tell me about your family. Has living with HIV shaped your approach to parenting in any way?

My biological family is touch and go. However, when we do communicate, they do tend to be open-minded and willing to learn.

My wife and I reconnected with each other in 2014; I met her in 2009 when she was pregnant with her oldest child, who will be twelve in 2022 (when I plan to adopt him). My wife accepted me for my past and present and continually builds with me for my future. I explained to her when we connected that I identified as bisexual, I am HIV-positive, and I have been diagnosed since 2005.

I asked her status and she told me that she was negative and to this day she is still negative. We never had a conversation about kids, but I did tell her that when I was diagnosed the doctor told me that it was possible that any child I may have or whomever I have sex with will become positive. In 2015 I was blessed to have my first biological child; she is HIV-negative. In 2017 I had my second biological child, who is HIV-negative and in 2020 I have my third biological child, who is HIV-negative. I say all of this to say that there is still a lot of hope and faith for everyone; it’s about being open and honest and letting your partner make the decision for themselves.

When did you first become aware of Undetectable = Untransmissable? How integral is this concept to your outreach?

In 2012 I was at a HRV conference in Washington, D.C., and I heard all of this commotion coming from one of the breakout rooms so I peeked my head in and I sat in the back and I started listening to the details. What I found funny is that I had heard of U=U because my doctor told me about it, but did not go into details——and I didn’t ask any questions at that time.

So with my outreach I incorporate that by telling people: You are worth living. You have the power to change the outcome; use the tools that they have given you daily, which is the medication, so we can get to U=U. I say we because we are a team. It is my job with my outreach to help support everyone and figure out a method that works for them to maintain a healthy relationship and how to love themselves from the inside out.

...there is still a lot of hope and faith for everyone; it’s about being open and honest and letting your partner make the decision for themselves.

NOVEMBER 2021 •

”

Follow Voice by an Angel Outreach on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/vbaaoi/. Email: vbaaoinc@ gmail.com Cell: (440) 990-5181, Mailing address: P.O. Box 606061, Cleveland, OH 44106.

Chael Needle writes the column Art & Understanding for A&U.

13

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FICTION

The Little Gods of Desire

by Robert Cataldo

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To the little gods of desire, we address our prayers. We thank you for so many happy nights, when two weeks of loneliness and abstinence were more than we could bear. I thank you for my friends, to whom, in part, this book is dedicated: boys, whose names, I don’t recall, whose fates I’m not privy to tell, boys who had little more to offer each other but an unmade bed. Lives that don’t make it onto the front page, thank God, that don’t even make it into print (unless we pay for it). I don’t complain. Nights of longing and loneliness far richer, far more consoling than a gay, adolescent boy could have wished for. I apologize to all those I might have hurt——not many I hope——I might have disappointed, to all those I misread or misjudged (or judged all too closely), to all those, but for fate, a hopeful, kind word wasn’t said. So many, I’m afraid, (an army of lovers, as Whitman put it), we’ve lost to AIDS. It saddens me to look back upon all those I, too, might have lost. I try to recall here their beauty, their rushed innocence, or troubled destinies. We thank you for desire. When a T-shirt, a rough pair of jeans, an invitation remains as one of the most beautiful, unexpected moments of a young life. We thank you, dear prose, for helping us recall. (Dear boy, I don’t know from what shadows you emerged or to what shadows you returned. I see you still: handsome, devil-may-care, affectionate, all of twenty-six.) To all those I helped along the way: I’m still owed a denim jacket. I’m afraid you weren’t destined for a long and happy life. I waited night after night for some word from you. Summer came. I had to give up the apartment. Your sweater and Hush Puppies I kept for as long as I could. I ached for you, even if it were hopeless to hope. Colby, dear boy, I hope you’ve kept out of trouble. I fear not. I did what I could for you. I moved. I didn’t have any way to reach you (not that I had much more to give). I cover your memory with flowers, one for every year you lived. To all those who appeared and reappeared in this book, as a short novel, a long story, un raccontino (a short tale), forgive me for messing up the facts, changing names and dates, or brutally stating them. I tried to articulate something of your charm: your love of music, or antiques, an exquisite thoughtfulness (or all three). I’m sorry I couldn’t express anything more hopeful than our misgivings, a sometimes lofty but profoundly melancholy tone. Minor chords, for us poorly afflicted, are such satisfying notes. To my dear Francis, I’m very fortunate to end my saga with you. You’ve kept me from another year of chaos and disillusionment, twenty more pages of heartache, at least! You’ve kept me sane and whole. As you said so well one day, “My real life began with you.” Coming at the end of so much trial and confusion, poor decision-making, you represented both the joy and grace I so sorely missed. Thank you for furnishing me with happiness these forty years. In a book of love stories, you have been the sweetest, the most tenacious of all. So concludes this long, sad story with a happy ending.

Finis.

Robert Cataldo is the author of four novels: All my life. Since I told you, Until Then, Nights at The Napoleon, and Autumn. A novelist and poet, his work has appeared in Bay Windows, Zone, a feminist journal for women and men, and the Arlington Literary Journal, among others. His poem “Ancient Find” was published in Gradiva, International Journal of Italian Poetry, 2014. A travel essay of his on visiting the Greek poet Constantine Cavafy’s flat in Alexandria, Egypt is featured in Thoughtful Dog. “The Little Gods of Desire” was named runner-up in A&U’s 2021 Christopher Hewitt Awards. Robert lives in Providence with his boyfriend (husband) of forty-four years.

• NOVEMBER 2021

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Stock photo with model.

POETRY

Diagnosis Afternoon 1991

NOVEMBER 2021 •

My talented older brother was artistically intrepid and expressive. As a painter, he had begun to achieve some recognition.

He was an oddly secure and insecure bon vivant.

His lungs had finally cleared—— a rough bout——and he was feeling his oats.

By happenstance, his partner and I were in the room with him the day the doctor——not intending to be ruthless—— answered point-blank his question about the arc of HTLV-3. He pressed her for clear, concise terms for his condition.

(We didn’t yet have an exact notion of HIV and its incremental steps.)

WELL, YOU HAVE AIDS. The doctor, noting the unexpected kilter of silence in the room, looked to me. I asked if the three of us might be left alone for a few minutes of privacy. As she left, I, too withdrew, slipped out behind her into the hallway. Ahead, lay decades of unnecessary spasms and the inflicted lethal civic violence of another viral pandemic.

Some of us have raggedly suffered rugged losses.

—Scott Hightower Scott Hightower is the author of four books of poetry in the U.S. and two bilingual collections published in Madrid.

He teaches at New York University’s Gallatin School of Individualized Study.

19

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s s e l r a e F n e m Wo P h o t o g r a p h e r

Phyllis Christopher

Takes Us Inside Her Dark Room to Discuss Process, Pleasure and Protest

by Chael Needle

A

photo by Phyllis Christopher focuses on a sticker, attached to clothing, it appears, that reads, “Fatter than Barbie / Butcher than Ken.” The credo in the photo is playful and yet seriously disruptive, celebrating pleasure, sexual agency and pride beyond hetero norms. Without a grammatical subject, it might describe one woman (“I am”); it might describe a sorority (“We are”). Or both. Like her other photos, it invites a commitment from the viewer to pay attention to the importance of lesbian representation, queer practice, and self-definition within a society that predominantly confines our bodies within unequal binaries and hierarchies. A new photography book, Dark Room: San Francisco Sex and Protest, 1988-2003 (Book Works), brings together works by Christopher that frame the intricacies of politics and pleasure during a time when supporting lesbian visibility, woman-centered sexuality and affection, and grass-roots activism were crucial to the survival and sustenance of queer women and wider, intersecting communities, as well.

In an excerpt from the talk, “Heart, Hand, Art: Erotic Moments

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• NOVEMBER 2021

a&ugallery

Dyke March, San Francisco, CA, 1995, silver gelatin print, 8 by 10 inches

NOVEMBER 2021 •

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From a Sexual Revolution,” Christopher states about Dark Room: “To pose for a photograph was a political act that required courage. It was still possible to lose a job in many professions for being a lesbian. Many of us felt we had lost so much and this fed into our extreme re-thinking of relationships and lifestyles. There is a freedom in a subculture of women who have been disowned by their families and shut out of mainstream culture.”

Dark Room, edited by Laura Guy and Lizzie Homersham, features newly commissioned essays by Susie Bright, Laura Guy, and Michelle Tea, alongside an interview with Shar Rednour.

The black-and-white photos document a thread of empowerment, whether ACT UP activists are putting their bodies on the line as police wrestle them to the ground or women are walking to the beat of their own drum at a Dyke March or women are articulating their desiring selves at the Ecstasy Lounge, in alleyway trysts, in pick-up beds beneath an open sky, wearing tank tops that show off tattoos, tongue rings, tutus, laced-up boots, boxer shorts, belted jeans, pearl necklace bondage, all worn in that sartorial dance of self and community.

Although the book represents a look back, the issues that come to the fore are ones with which we still engage——the fight for reproductive rights, the need for collective action around HIV/AIDS and health justice, and the evolving expressions of sexuality, gender identity, and presentation.

Once based in San Francisco and, since 2013, based in the U.K., Christopher served as photo editor of On Our Backs, the groundbreaking lesbian erotica magazine from 1991–1994. The magazine was the first made by and for lesbians and Christopher brings this same community-based collaborative sensibility to all of her photographs.

Dancers, Vogue Night, Club G Spot, San Francisco, CA, 1989, silver gelatin print, 8 by 10 inches Christopher’s work has previously been anthologized in Nothing But The Girl: The Blatant Lesbian Image by Susie Bright and Jill Posener; Photo Sex: Fine Art Sexual Photography Comes of Age by David Steinberg; and Art & Queer Culture by Catherine Lord and Richard Meyer. A 2020 finalist of Queer|Art’s Robert Giard Grant for Emerging LGBTQ+ Photographers, Christopher has been widely exhibited, most recently in “On Our Backs: An Archive” (The NewBridge Project, Newcastle, 2017) and “Still I Rise: Feminisms, Gender, Resistance” (Nottingham Contemporary, De La Warr Pavilion and Arnolfini, Bristol, 2019). New solo exhibits in the U.K. include “Heads and Tails” at Grand Union, Birmingham, and “Contacts” at BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art, Gateshead. Together, these exhibits represent Phyllis Christopher’s first major retrospective.

A&U recently had the opportunity to correspond with the artist about Dark Room.

Chael Needle: What was your aim in compiling Dark Room and how did you approach the process?

Phyllis Christopher: My aim in compiling Dark Room was to tell the story that my friends and our generation experienced in the nineties in San Francisco. Well, I

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Blood Money, ACT-UP Protest at Burroughs Welcome Pharmaceutical Company, Livermore, CA, 1989, silver gelatin print, 8 by 10 inches hope that’s what the book does——a snapshot of that decade through a lesbian lens.

I’ve wanted this body of work to be collected into a book for many years now. Most publishers I approached did not understand the political nature of the photographs, whether sexual or street protest; Book Works really understood this from the start. I’ve worked on many photo stories in my life but I think this is my strongest body of work because I was photographing my own culture at a time when we were having to become increasingly politicized in order to live healthy lives——an era in which you had to leave your small town and move to, in my case, San Francisco, in order to find a queer community.

The book contains images of street protest along with lesbian sexual imagery. It was important at the time to photograph sex; it was the only way we were going to see ourselves reflected back. Mainstream culture was devoid of lesbian imagery and the women who posed for these photographs understood this and posed for the camera in order to validate our everyday lives.

That is a good point to emphasize——the political nature of both the sexual and the protest images, whether you were representing activism around reproductive justice or AIDS activism. Was there something in particular you wanted to foreground in your protest images?

As far as the protest images I was trying to communicate that reproductive rights, information on how [HIV] was transmitted and LGBTQ+ rights were all connected. It was a time when the media did not discuss in graphic detail what kind of sex may transmit [HIV]. The frustration over this lead to the LGBTQ+ communities becoming quite outspoken about sex——and had a very big influence on the lesbian community. For one thing, we were frightened that we might be at risk, and we knew we would be low on the list as a group to get help or information——many women protested in the women’s contingent of ACT UP. That was one of the reasons that Madonna was so popular in the gay community at the time; she would stop her show and talk about condoms. Nobody did that then; it was thought of as unnecessary information that only pertained to queers who were dying, and the mainstream did not care. So this is why sexual imagery became a political statement. We wanted to show that we were all being sexual and that it was healthy and normal. On Our Backs Magazine did many articles about safe sex for lesbians——it was one of the only places you could find information. On Our Backs gave me a forum and started me out in the world of erotic imagery. So it wasn’t just that there had never been a platform for lesbian sex and visibility, it was also that few people were speaking about women getting the virus.

Did you learn anything new in the process of this assemblage?

I think I’ve learned that the images still hold up as strong photographs twenty to thirty years after they had been taken. Most of them have not lost their edge for me photographically, and thematically tend to speak to some of the same concerns that the LGBTQ+ community have today: “I’m young——I want to have a good time——stop labelling me and telling me I’m living my life the wrong way!” I’m very much interested in speaking to young people today——what are your concerns? Why do some of these pho• NOVEMBER 2021

a&ugallery

Clockwise from top left: Alley South of Market, San Francisco, CA, 1997, silver gelatin print, 8 by 10 inches

tographs interest you now?

Another reason that this body of work resurfaced was that there was renewed interest in the period of the late eighties to early nineties. Students working on their PhDs and younger photographers had not known much about this genre of work; they had not been shown or taught about lesbian erotic photographers while in school. Now I hope that photographers like Jill Posener, Honey Lee Cottrell, Tee Corinne, Joan E. Biren, Jessica Tanzer, and Leon Mostovoy, to name a few, are more well known and discussed at university.

And who did you study in terms of lesbian representation in photography?

What photographers inspired you and why?

ACT-UP Protest at Burroughs WelPreceding me by come Pharmaceutical Company, about five to ten years are Livermore, CA, 1989, 8x10” Silver my heroes…Tee Corinne, Gelatin Print who always felt like a hippy godmother fairy. She created solarized images (a process in the darkroom that makes the images appear negative).

She did this in order to obscure the identity of some of her models because this was the seventies through to the nineties, and you could lose your job for just being gay let alone posing naked. She also did some powerful images of a woman in a wheelchair having sex, so she was way ahead in the differently-abled movement.

When I moved to San Francisco, I met Honey Lee Cottrell, who worked as photo editor at On Our Backs in the eighties. Her work was more conceptual——and she posed as the first centerfold for OOB——“Bulldagger of the Month”! What a gorgeous idea——a butch centerfold, finally! Society tells butch women they are ugly and inappropriate——I love photographing butch women. My work had to do with glamorizing lesbians—— feeling good about how we looked through all of the gender spectrum. By the time I started photographing, women were more courageous about being identified——there was a small economy of lesbian/feminist businesses in San Francisco, and if you worked in that support system you had less to lose, you couldn’t lose your job. Now everybody is all over Instagram with incredible lesbian sex images. It’s a satisfying thing to see. I love to see fearless women. We are just a few generations away from the bad old days of being thrown into mental institutions for being gay——that’s where I’m always coming from. I still remember being afraid, so I love to see young people, older people, everybody celebrating their bodies!

Gay male photography has always been a huge influence on my work for the predominance of fetish. Robert Mapplethorpe was super-inspiring to me as well as the imagery in Drummer Magazine, a gay male magazine. Mark Chester is a wonderful photographer who supported the artistic community by having shows in his house and has a book out right now called Street Sex Photos.

Lex, San Francisco, CA, 1997, silver gelatin print, 11 by 11 inches

So, with years between now and then, the political moment to which you responded has passed. In what ways do you utilize photography as an activist tool today?

I have been in retrospective mode, working on the book and two shows, so the past couple of years have been predominantly in a teaching capacity. I work with people in the north of England who live in fairly isolated towns and with LGBTQ+ youth groups.

NOVEMBER 2021 •

I ask people to document even the smallest details of their lives——to value things they think may not matter now. I certainly hope that economic disparity will be looked upon with as much horror as racism and homophobia are now; and with the LGBTQ+ youth groups we use the camera as a tool of self esteem: they see themselves reflected back in drag, or in variations of gender presentation that they find exciting. It’s a safe place outside of their biological families.

I’m still always wanting to document the gay community myself, too, and completed a portrait series this summer entitled “Handing On Our History.” It was in conjunction with an organization called Equal Arts, who recorded interviews by younger LGBTQ+ of the older generation——my generation. This is now being produced as a series of podcasts.

For more information about the work of Phyllis Christopher, visit: www.phyllischristopher. com. For more information about “Contacts” at BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art, UK, October, 23 2021–March 20, 2022, visit: https://baltic.art/phyllis-christopher.

For more information about “Heads and Tails” at Grand Union, Birmingham, UK through March 2022, visit: https://grand-union.org.uk/exhibitions/phyllis-christopher/.

For information about how to purchase the book, log on to: https://bookworks.org.uk/ publishing/shop/dark-room-san-francisco-sex-and-protest-1988-2003/.

Chael Needle interviewed Boré Ivanoff, Adrienne Seed, Nacho Hernandez, and Philipp Spiegel for the October Gallery.

25

POWER PERSISTENCE

26

Richard L. Zaldivar and The Wall Las Memorias Project Help Create Better Health Outcomes for Underserved Communities of Los Angeles

by Hank Trout

Photographed Exclusively for A&U by Tommy Wu

O

f all the laudatory adjectives that one might rightfully use to describe Richard L. Zaldivar, the first one that comes to mind might be “persistent.”

In 1993, Mr. Zaldivar’s dear friend David Ruiz seroconverted. In response, Richard founded The Wall Las Memorias Project, a groundbreaking community health and wellness organization dedicated to serving Latinx, LGBTQ, and other underserved communities in Los Angeles, California.

(More on that later.) Inspired by a mural of the Virgin of Guadalupe in the Lincoln Heights community of Northeast Los Angeles, he also came upon the idea for a memorial, commemorating the lives of Latinx LGBTQ folks who died from complications due to AIDS, a space where cultural barriers to HIV/AIDS education and outreach could be addressed and overcome. Richard organized the first annual Noche de las Memorias (Evening of Memories) for World AIDS Day 1993.

That night, he shared his vision for an AIDS monument, a place of remembrance and healing for those still here, a tool to start a conversation in the Latino community about HIV/AIDS. “The intention [of the monument] was to walk down a journey,” he told LA Weekly, “the opportunity to look at our demons and our secrets. It’s a symbol of acceptance for a socalled shameful disease.”

His plan for a monument immediately encountered obstacles. The first obstacle was, sadly, institutional homophobia.

“Upfront Latino politicians and the City of Los Angeles would say ‘I support your work,’ but in the background. They couldn’t give their support and they didn’t feel comfortable. Some of the city councilmembers were afraid to support us or they were homophobic.” Opposition came even from the LGBTQ and HIV communities. Since Zaldivar’s plan entailed using public funds, “Many in the HIV community fought against us because they feared that providing money for the monument would take money away from them, away from their projects.”

Perhaps the most painful opposition for Richard came from a small group of “right-wing Catholic folks who opposed the project and were very homophobic. They did their best to organize against us. We even got some death threats.”

Born in 1952 to a Mexican father and Mexican-American mother, Richard is a deeply religious Catholic. “As a gay man who came out late in life, I struggled with reconciling my faith with being gay. But I realized that God had created me, and I was able to separate the institution of the Church from my relationship with God.” It was his faith, his relationship with God, that enabled him to go into the churches in East Los Angeles that were most adamant in their opposition to the mon-

• NOVEMBER 2021

NOVEMBER 2021 •

27

ument, and begin to open a dialogue about HIV and LGBTQ people. Because he was able to approach these church people with respect, he was able to reach out to Latino mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, ministers and priests, educating them, building goodwill in those churches and in the communities they serve. He has said that he never felt he had to leave God behind to be a gay man or a forceful advocate for society’s dispossessed. “We really need to involve the entire community for true change,” he said.

He recalled one such meeting for a Mother’s Day dinner with clients (gay men) and mothers who lost their children to AIDS. “I had this old two-foot-tall statue of the Virgin Mary that I took to the meeting. I set it in the middle of the table we sat around. I talked with them about Mary’s love for Christ and compared that to the love they felt for their sons. They were deeply moved. I came to think of them as ‘Mothers of The Wall Las Memorias.’”

Finally, after eleven years of reaching out to and educating the community, cajoling politicians, and scrounging for funding, Richard’s vision of an AIDS monument became reality. His work garnered $400,000 from the State of California and another $150,000 from the City of Los Angeles to construct the monument. On World AIDS Day, December 1, 2004, The Wall Las Memorias was dedicated in Lincoln Park, with over 1,500 members of the community in attendance, making it the first publicly and privately funded AIDS monument in the nation.

The monument, designed by architect David Angelo and public artist Robin Brailsford, takes the shape of a Quetzalcoatl serpent, an Aztec symbol for rebirth. The monument consists of eight wall panels: six murals depicting life with AIDS in the Latino community and two granite panels that contain the names of hundreds of individuals who have died from AIDS. The monument also includes a serene park setting with benches and an archway set in garden areas for personal meditation. The site of the monument was chosen for its rich cultural and artistic history with the Latino community and its proximity to the local AIDS Treatment Center at County USC Hospital, the Rand Schrader AIDS Clinic.

That’s the power of persistence!

The Wall Las Memorias Monument is currently undergoing a $850,000 renovation, funded with support from Los Angeles City Councilman Gilbert Cedillo and from Los Angeles County Board of Supervisor Hilda Solis. The renovation project, led by Perry Cardoza of Nuvis Landscape Architecture, calls for a new irrigation system, fresh landscaping which will include fifteen fully grown trees, new walkways, and state of the art LED lighting. The renovated monument will be rededicated December 1, World AIDS Day. The event will be part of a week-long celebration which

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• NOVEMBER 2021

will include an Ecumenical Service on November 28 honoring AIDS caregivers and Las Posadas, a Latino traditional community holiday celebration on December 4. The week-long celebration will include: live musical entertainment happening in and around the monument site, community resources, and the special rededication ceremony with elected officials, community leaders, healthcare advocates, and others. Along with the rededication of the site, The Wall-Las Memorias will also unveil more than 300 new names of loved ones lost to HIV/AIDS collected from the community and engraved onto the monument. The list of names is updated every December 1, World AIDS Day. Service to the community has been the hallmark of Richard’s life for more than forty years. “It all goes back to my Catholic upbringing. I was raised to give back, to be of assistance, to emulate Christ. That has informed everything I’ve done.” His initial way of giving back was through politics. Early in his career, he worked with the Los Angeles City Council and the City Attorney’s Office; he also served on the Los Angeles County HIV Prevention Planning Committee and as Co-Chair of the Public Policy Committee of the Los Angeles HIV Commission. He was elected to the L.A. County Democratic Central Committee (1974–80) and the California Democratic State Central Committee (1974–84). In 1980, he was elected to the National Democratic Convention as a delegate for Senator Edward Kennedy. He joined President Barack Obama’s campaigns in 2008 and 2012, and was recognized by the

NOVEMBER 2021 •

At The Wall Las Memorias Monument, Richard touches the names of individuals who have died of AIDS-related causes. The names are submitted by their families and friends.

29

30

• NOVEMBER 2021

President at the 2016 White House LGBTQ Pride Reception. In 2020, he was elected again as a convention delegate, this time for President Joe Biden.

A lifelong L.A. Dodgers fan, Richard worked with management to create “Strike Out AIDS” at Dodger Stadium in 2001.

The initial event drew a crowd of over 42,000, each of whom received a special 32-page bilingual commemorative Strike Out AIDS supplemental program. The event now occurs annually.

Mr. Zaldivar’s most significant contribution to the Latinx LGBTQ community, and his most enduring legacy, is the community health and wellness organization, The Wall Las Memorias, which he founded in 1993. “Nobody was addressing Latino HIV/ AIDS issues at the time,” he has said. “In the early 1990s, when people talked about HIV/AIDS and Latinos, there were some services being provided to the Spanish-speaking community, but nothing was provided to English-speaking Latinos.”

Under his leadership, the organization has created culturally competent programs to reach out to Latinx and other underserved populations; they have developed HIV, substance abuse, and mental health prevention programs in a holistic and spiritual manner. The Wall Las Memorias serves low-income and hard-to-reach communities throughout Los Angeles, educating community members on the importance of HIV and AIDS, substance abuse prevention, mental health stigma reduction for LGBTQ transitional-aged youth (TAY), transgender women health and wellness, non-binary health and wellness, and community building in the marginalized communities. The organization has created a safer place in those communities for dialogue, community building, education and prevention services for this devastating epidemic. To ensure that the public health infrastructure is inclusive of all communities, all programs and services at The Wall Las Memorias are provided free of cost and are available to all members of the community, including free HIV testing and counseling.

Their men’s health services include HIV testing and counseling; “Re-Act Now,” a program that empowers Latinx gay, bisexual, and queer men ages 18-24 to address issues pertaining to mental health, stigma reduction, substance abuse prevention, and HIV/Hep-C education utilizing the power of queer art, drag, music, and culture; “Young Advocates for Action and Sustainability (YAAS),” a program that promotes health, wellness, and leadership among young gay, bisexual, and queer Latinx and African-American men ages 15-29; and peer-led community support groups for men who identify as gay, bisexual, queer, or questioning for the purpose of building brotherhood, creating change, and nurturing leadership skills.

The Wall Las Memorias also serves transgender persons with healthcare referrals, counseling, and linkage to hormone therapy. Their Trans Health Program aims to reduce the health disparities experienced by transgender women of color. They provide free HIV testing, linkage to care, and preventive health resources such as PrEP and PEP. The group hosts a weekly transgender women’s support group called “She Her Hers.” The peer-led group promotes healthy living through culture, faith, health, and wellness. The organization also serves non-binary, gender non-conforming, and questioning individuals; their “Enby Entities” support group provides space for building community, creating change, and nourishing leadership.

“Our goal,” Mr. Zaldivar said, “was to create a wrap-around service that provides HIV testing and counseling, but also addresses other community health issues, like substance abuse, racial and gender disparities, homophobia and transphobia and NOVEMBER 2021 •

providing leadership development to young LGBT community members. We currently have a staff of thirty-five people dedicated to serving the whole community.”

Although The Wall Las Memorias’ facility was closed down during the COVID-19 pandemic, the group was able to continue their services virtually utilizing Zoom for their support groups and education services. “The only service we offer that actually suffered during COVID was HIV testing because, of course, testing cannot be done remotely.” The group responded to the COVID-19 pandemic by maintaining an updated list of local resources and services and offering assistance navigating through these resources. They also instituted the “Stop the Spread: Protégé Tu Familia” community-driven campaign to educate community members about COVID-19 dangers and safety practices, offering free resources to community partners in Boyle Heights, Lincoln Heights, East Los Angeles, San Gabriel Valley and beyond. For example, Protégé Tu Familia held a town hall on July 28 to discuss how to protect ourselves and our families from the Delta variant and to share rental assistance resources and review tenant rights. “Just like HIV, COVID-19 disproportionately affected Latinx and other communities of color. We were able to continue offering those communities culturally competent information about the virus and how to stop its spread.”

Mr. Zaldivar is especially adamant about providing culturally competent information about PrEP in Latinx and other communities of color. “If we want to see more Latino men and other men of color on PrEP, new prevention campaigns are needed that target them,” he said. He has called for more PrEP capacity-building training for healthcare professionals who work in communities of color and more training is needed in small cities and rural areas, which are usually the last to have access to and implement new practices.

Persistence and resilience have shaped Richard’s life from an early age. As a very sickly child with asthma, with two alcoholic parents and few friends, he experienced shame and isolation growing up. He managed to kick his own alcoholism in 1989.

Getting sober, Richard gained the confidence to enter public advocacy. He has spent more than thirty years advocating for the underserved, often in communities and places where no one else would go, and often in the face of hostility from homophobic politicians, religious leaders, and ill-informed community members. “Again, it goes back to my Catholic upbringing. When I see an injustice, I have to act.”

The Wall Las Memorias invites you to the Rededication Celebration over the weekend of December 1, 2021, at the Monument in Lincoln Park. They also invite community members at large to submit the names of loved one’s lost to AIDS complications. New names will be engraved onto the name panels on the monument and revealed during the weekend celebration. The names submission process is currently free of cost and open to community members from throughout the country. For more information and to submit a name, please log on to: www.thewalllasmemorias.org.

For more information about photographer Tommy Wu, log on to: tommywuphotography.com; Instagram: @twpmood. Make-up/hair: Christina Moré; Instagram: @makeupbychristinam. Assistant: Griffin Riley; Instagram: @darkcrustacean.

Senior Editor Hank Trout interviewed Martina Clark for the October cover story.

31

IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY® IMPORTANT FACTS FOR BIKTARVY®

This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY and does notnot This is only a brief summary of important information about BIKTARVY and does replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment. replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and your treatment.

MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY

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POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OFOF BIKTARVY POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS BIKTARVY

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If you develop new or worse kidney check your kidneys.

If you develop new or worse kidney medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults and children problems, they may telltell youyou to stop taking BIKTARVY. problems, they may to stop taking BIKTARVY. who weigh at least 55 55 pounds.

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Tell your healthcare provider right away lead to death.

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DoDo NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains: that contains:  Severe liver problems, which in rare cases cancan lead to to  Severe liver problems, which in rare cases lead death.

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TellTell your healthcare provider right away if you have anyany your healthcare provider right away if you have  Have anyany other health problems.  Have other health problems. new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY. new symptoms while taking BIKTARVY.  Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant.

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HOW TOTO TAKE BIKTARVY HOW TAKE BIKTARVY Tell your healthcare provider about all all thethe Tell your healthcare provider about medicines you take: medicines you take:

Take BIKTARVY 1 time each dayday with or without food.

Take BIKTARVY 1 time each with or without food.

 Keep a list that includes all all prescription and over-the Keep a list that includes prescription and over-the-

GET MORE INFORMATION GET MORE INFORMATION

counter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and counter medicines, antacids, laxatives, vitamins, and herbal supplements, and show it to healthcare herbal supplements, and show it your to your healthcare provider and pharmacist. provider and pharmacist.

 BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other.  BIKTARVY and other medicines may affect each other.

Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about Ask your healthcare provider and pharmacist about medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and askask if itifisit is medicines that interact with BIKTARVY, and safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines. safe to take BIKTARVY with all your other medicines.

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about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider or or about BIKTARVY. Talk to your healthcare provider pharmacist to learn more. pharmacist to learn more.

 Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5  Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5  Ifyou need help paying forfor your medicine, If you need help paying your medicine,

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BIKTARVY, the the BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, the the GILEAD Logo, KEEP LOVING, andand LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE are are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc.,Inc., BIKTARVY, BIKTARVY Logo, GILEAD, GILEAD Logo, KEEP LOVING, LOVE WHAT’S INSIDE trademarks of Gilead Sciences, or its companies.

Version date: February 2021 © 2021 Gilead Sciences, Inc.Inc. All rights reserved.

BVYC0370 04/21 orrelated its related companies.

Version date: February 2021 © 2021 Gilead Sciences, All rights reserved.

BVYC0370 04/21

NIKKI NIKKI

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A

We Need a Little Music A&U’s 20th Annual Holiday Gift Guide

s we approach the holidays near the end of this calamitous year, many of us may struggle to find reasons for celebration. It’s been a challenging year on multiple levels. Climate change set the West Coast on fire, while it drowned the Southeast and Northeast in freakish rainstorms. Even if the effects of climate change haven’t kept us awake at night, we’ve had to cope with the still-spreading, still-deadly COVID-19 crisis (and its accompanying epidemic of disinformation) for nineteen months. And of course these calamities have impacted the HIV community, with reduced HIV testing, the closure of many clinics, and a dangerous drop in funding for HIV/AIDS-related organizations and services.

It’s been an exhausting year.

Perhaps that is why celebrating the holidays this year is so important. For the sake of our sanity, we need some spirited revelry, some levity to light the darkness that has surrounded us. As Jerry Herman wrote for Mame, “For we need a little

music, need a little laughter / Need a little singing ringing through the rafter / Yes we need a little snappy happy ever after.” We need the human contact of gathering together, sharing a holiday feast, toasting each other’s health, exchanging gifts.

In our 20th Annual Holiday Gift Guide, you’ll find a wide array of gifts that perform triple duty——they will delight the recipients of your gifts, you will enjoy the spirit of giving, and each gift helps to raise funds for one HIV/AIDS-related organization or another. Greeting cards, jewelry, T-shirts, hats, food stuffs, artwork, holiday ornaments——you name it, you’ll find the perfect gifts here in a broad range of prices.

So be of good cheer! Get out your gift list and get busy spreading love and joy among your friends and family. We sure could use some love and joy these days!

Happy Holidays!

—Hank Trout

Let's Kick A.S.S. F Let's Kick A.S.S.

ounded in 2013, by San Francisco activist Tez Anderson and other HIV long-term survivors, Let’s Kick A.S.S. (LKA) is the first nonprofit founded to address the unmet needs and issues facing women and men living longest with HIV and AIDS. A California 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation, LKA is an all-volunteer, grassroots movement united in compassion, committed to action, and insisting on visibility, intent on ending isolation and envisioning a future that long-term survivors never imagined they’d live to see. Before LKA’s first town hall in September 2013, no agency in San Francisco or elsewhere had prioritized HIV Long-Term Survivors (HTLS).

AIDS Survivor Syndrome (ASS) describes the spectrum of sustained trauma resulting from living through the AIDS pandemic and its aftermath. It may be best described as a crisis of demoralization: depression, isolation, economic hardship, careers put aside, and a feeling that society had no idea what you had been through and didn’t much care. As with many psychological issues, AIDS Survivor Syndrome falls outside of the limited diagnostic range of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5). Most of the time, the trauma affecting HLTS is referred to as “PTSD.” Let’s Kick A.S.S. collaborates with the Association of Nurses in AIDS Care (ANAC), SAGE USA, HealthHIV, the CDC, The ACRIA Center for HIV & Aging at GMHC and other local and national HIV advocates, providers, and researchers to ensure that long-term HIV survivors can thrive. Their goal is and always has been to kick AIDS Survivor Syndrome.

Tell Me More: Among the many items that Let’s Kick A.S.S. sells to raise funds for their activity (totes, coffee mugs, water bottles), we are featuring their most proudly visible, wearable wares. The LKA T-shirts and sweatshirts all feature bold lettering declaring HIV+ LONG TERM SURVIVOR on the front and the LKA website (www.LetsKickASS.hiv) printed on the back. The T-shirts are available in black, light blue, and navy with white lettering in sizes small to 5XL; the sweatshirts, both crew neck and pullover hoodie styles, are black with yellow lettering and are available in sizes up to 2XL. How Much: The T-shirts range from $22.99 to $24.99; the sweatshirts range from $36.99 to $38.99.

Who Benefits: All profit from the sales these items will help to fund Let’s Kick A.S.S.’s advocacy for long-term HIV survivors.

How to Order: The Let’s Kick A.S.S. T-shirts, sweatshirts, and other merchandise can all be ordered at https://letskickass. creator-spring.com/.

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• NOVEMBER 2021

adam’s nest A Adam’s Nest

dam’s Nest, a very popular brick-and-mortar store in P-Town during from Memorial Day through Halloween every year, maintains an online store year-round. Loaded with baseball caps, pins, T-shirts, and more, the store offers a cornucopia of gift items. Proprietor Adam Singer’s dedication to giving back to the community means that a portion of every sale is earmarked for a specific charity. Over the years, Adam’s Nest has supported organizations such as the ACLU, the Ali Forney Center, the Audre Lorde Project, Gays Against Guns, SAGE, Planned Parenthood, The Trevor Project, and the Rainbow Railroad.

Tell Me More: This year, Adam’s Nest is offering shirts in support of the New York City AIDS Memorial. In partnership with RED HOT, and in honor of the 30th anniversary of the release of their first album, Red Hot + Blue, Adam’s Nest offers these iconic, artist-designed items for the first time in decades. Originally created in 1990 by the artists Jenny Holzer and David Wojnarowicz, today they have been reproduced in a very limited edition of five hundred, printed on certified organic cotton using eco-friendly ink.

In addition, Adam’s Nest has recently added femme-fit options for their two AIDS Memorial Shirts, the original designed by Zach Grear, and a newer one designed by Hugh Elliott.

How Much: The short-sleeved Wojnarowicz t-shirt is $50, and the long-sleeved Holzer t-shirt is $75. $35 donated to the NYC AIDS Memorial from the sale of each shirt.

The Hugh Elliot-designed shirt is $35; the Zach Grear-designed shirt is $30. Sales from both support The AIDS Memorial on Instagram.

Who Benefits: The item descriptions on the site include information about the beneficiary of that sale.

How to Order: To purchase these T-shirts or any of Adam’s Nest’s many other offerings, log on to www.adamsnest.com.

NOVEMBER 2021 •

35

Broadway Cares B Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS

roadway is back, Baby! Not even a global viral pandemic can dim the lights of Broadway forever! During the nineteen-month closure of Broadway, thousands of writers, actors, musicians, stagehands, lighting experts, and all the other multi-talented people it takes to put on a Broadway show found themselves unemployed. But for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, “The show must go on,” and the work of BC/EFA went on unimpeded. Your purchase of gifts from BC/EFA ensures that the curtain never goes down on the important work they do.

Tell Me More: For starters, check out BC/EFA’s “Legends” series of holiday ornaments, honoring the divas who have graced a Broadway stage. “Legends” is a series of collectable hand-made glass ornaments depicting legendary Broadway divas in their signature roles, designed by Glen Hanson and the Christopher Radko Company exclusively for BC/EFA. In past years they have honored Carol Burnett, Barbra Streisand, Bernadette Peters, Angela Lansbury, and everyone’s favorite gravel-voiced diva Harvey Fierstein.

This year’s honoree is the incandescent Audra McDonald! With more Tony Awards than any other performer in the history of Broadway, McDonald has created some of the most memorable characters in Broadway lore. The ornament depicts Ms. McDonald as Billie Holiday in Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grille.

In addition to the “Legends” series, the Broadway Cares Classic Collection honors the classic musicals of Broadway. Each item features the logos from long-running favorites and classic Broadway musicals. The Collection includes: Fleece Blanket: This machine-washable 50 by 60 inches fleece blanket features the logos of long-running and classic Broadway musicals.

Storage Box: You’ve been collecting Broadway Playbills for decades, right? Why not store them (or other collectibles) in this stylish 6.5 by 8.75 by 5 inches sturdy box wrapped in Classic Collection fabric?

Placemats and Napkins: Dress up your holiday table with these stylish, durable placemats and napkins featuring Broadway musical logos.

Gift Wrap: What better way to wrap your holiday gifts from BC/EFA than with their Classic Collection Gift Wrap? The package includes two 26 inches by 10 feet gift wrap with coordinating bows and ribbons.

How Much: You can glam up your holiday tree with Audra McDonald for just $65; fleece blanket: $35; storage box: $20; placemats and napkins: $25; and the gift wrap package is $20.

Who Benefits: Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS is one of the leading industry-based, nonprofit AIDS fundraising and grant-making organizations. Since 1988, BC/EFA has raised more than $300 million for essential services for people with AIDS and other critical illnesses. Utilizing the unique talents, resources and generosity of the American theatre community, BC/EFA is the major supporter of the essential social service programs at The Actors Fund, including the HIV/AIDS Initiative, the Phyllis Newman Women’s Health Initiative, and The Friedman Health Center. Broadway Cares also awards annual grants to more than 450 AIDS organizations in all 50 states. BC/EFA programs also include Classical Action (recruiting classical, opera, and jazz performers to raise funds) and Dancers Responding to AIDS. How to Order: To order these or any of the other dozens of items BC/ EFA offers, go to www.BroadwayCares.org or call (212) 840-0770 ext. 238 to place an order.

36

God's Love We De G God's Love We Deliver

od’s Love We Deliver is the New York metropolitan area’s leading provider of life-sustaining meals and nutrition counseling for people living with severe illness, including living with HIV/ AIDS. Cooking and home-delivering medically tailored meals to some of the most vulnerable people is more important than ever during this unprecedented COVID-19 crisis. As all of GLWD’s clients are living with underlying conditions, making them the most at-risk individuals, and the majority are elderly, GLWD’s home-delivered meals are critical to their well-being.

As always, God’s Love We Deliver has a full plate of options, designed to uplift, to inspire and to nourish your heart and soul.

Tell Me More: Each sale helps to finance the organization’s home meal delivery and other services. Although the “Gifts from the Heart” catalogue has many options of truly inspired gifts for giving——including perennial favorites: GLWD’s cookbook, AERIN votive candles, and the cutest little piggy bank shaped like one of GWLD’s delivery trucks——we’ve chosen to highlight these items available now for the first time and one of GLWD’s best-sellers.

Personalized Holiday Tribute Cards: You choose the design; GLWD will do the rest! Check out the choices (pictured here) and then share your holiday list so they can send them out for you. Paper, animated, and non-animated cards available. Please note: The CALM and LOVE holiday cards are also available in boxed sets.

CowParade Holiday Tribute Card: Featuring artwork from the global art exhibit CowParade NYC 2021. Cow images include artwork by Cynthia Erivo, Neil Patrick Harris, Beatrice Wolert, Michael Kaves, Peter Paid, and Fernando Romero.

God’s Love Cap: Their signature black cap in high quality 100% cotton is perfect for kitchen volunteer work or to wear around town.

Chuck’s Famous Brownies: Everyone could use a little extra sweetness this year! You and your lucky friend who receives them can indulge your sweet tooth guilt-free, knowing that these brownies contain no preservatives! (You can freeze them and enjoy them later, but since there are no preservatives, they are best enjoyed upon delivery.) The brownies come in boxes of 4, 8, 12, or 24.

How Much: For a minimum of $15 per name, God’s Love will address, stamp and mail Personalized Holiday Tribute Cards to friends and loved ones; boxed sets of cards are $25. God’s Love Cap is $25; and Chuck’s Famous Brownies come in boxes of four ($19), eight ($28), twelve ($40), and 24 ($75).

Who Benefits: Last year, GLWD cooked and home-delivered more than 2.5 million meals to nearly 10,000 individuals, never missing a delivery day. With demand for services increasing every year, sales from their Gifts from the Heart catalogue help “to ensure clients never have to wait for our services, and everything we offer is both purposeful, and delivered with love....a perfect way to share love, gratitude and warm wishes with loved ones.”

How to Order: To order any or all of these fine gifts, please log on to https://www.glwd.org/shop.

NOVEMBER 2021 •

37

Until There's a U Until There's A Cure

ntil There’s A Cure (UTAC), one of the earliest HIV/AIDS-related charities and a perennial favorite in our Holiday Gift Guide, has raised awareness and funds to combat this AIDS pandemic since the beginning. UTAC depends on funds raised from their online store, which offers clothing, shoulder bags, handcrafted jewelry, and numerous other items that will make you a gift-giving superstar!

This holiday season, UTAC offers the following unique gifts: The Bracelet: The original iconic design of The Bracelet was created in 1993 by Isabel Geddes of Florence, Italy. This silver-plated cuff-style bracelet measures 1/4 inches wide and features a small, raised AIDS ribbon on the outside. The inside is inscribed with “Until There’s A Cure.” Sizes: Small (fits up to 6-inch wrist), Medium (6 to 7.5-inch wrist), and Large (7.5 to 9-inch wrist). The Bracelet is also available in other metals.

Embroidered Greeting Cards: These beautifully detailed cards are embroidered by Indian women from underprivileged families, who spent 1 to 2 days on one card. When you purchase this card, 100% of your donation goes to India, and you support the socioeconomic development of these women, their families and communities.

Little Traveler Pins: These adorable beaded pins are handmade in South Africa. Each Little Traveler comes with its own passport. Proceeds support food, shelter, water, education, and economic stability in South Africa.

African Art Bracelet: Hand-carved in the Ovahimba tribal tradition by villagers in Namibia, no two African Art bracelets are alike. Each bracelet features a representation of the AIDS ribbon, a poignant work of wearable art imaginatively and resourcefully crafted from recycled PVC pipe. Your purchase of this bracelet provides care services, food, and schooling for children of this Namibian village and other areas of Africa ravaged by AIDS. Stuffed Animals: These stuffed lions, giraffes, and elephants are all handmade in South Africa from cotton twill in various beautiful patterns and colors. Made in partnership with Reaboka Foundation, dedicated to working with marginalized and vulnerable communities, mainly in rural areas. Your purchase directly supports vulnerable and marginalized communities.

Tell Me More: UTAC funds innovative programs which promote AIDS awareness and prevention education, provides financial support for care and services for those living with AIDS, and supports and advocates for AIDS vaccine development.

How Much: The silver-plated Bracelet is $25; the Embroidered Greeting Cards are $6 each; the Little Traveler Pins cost $5 each; the African Art Bracelets costs $25; and the Stuffed Animals cost $38.00 (large), $30 (medium), or $20 (flat).

Who Benefits: Until There’s A Cure, a national organization with worldwide reach, funds prevention education, care services, vaccine development, and public awareness of HIV/AIDS. UTAC reinvests 88% of the proceeds from all sales into the cause, so you can be assured your contribution is going toward the fight against HIV/AIDS. How to Order: All of these items, as well as many others, are available for sale at www.https://store. until.org/.

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• NOVEMBER 2021

San Francisco AID San Francisco AIDS Foundation

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he San Francisco AIDS Foundation envisions a future where health justice is achieved for all people living with or at risk for HIV. The organization has promoted health, wellness, and social justice for communities most impacted by HIV since 1982. They offer sexual health services, including HIV testing and access to treatment; substance use services, including a harm reduction center; services designed specifically for the community of long-term HIV/AIDS survivors; hepatitis C services; and much more—— all free of charge. SFAF also engages in advocacy at the local, state, and federal levels, often with community partners, to advance compassionate and just policies and programs.

SFAF’s signature fundraising event, the AIDS/LifeCycle, was cancelled again in 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic, leaving quite a hole in their fundraising efforts.

Tell Me More: Among the dozens of items available in the SFAF shop, they have decided to feature their “Still Here, Still Queer” merchandise, celebrating our resilience and diversity, remembering where we have been while working to move us forward.

First, the Still Here, Still Queer T-shirt. Made of pre-shrunk fabric, with side-seam construction, this shirt comes in black, brown, heather, navy, and white, in sizes from XS to 4XL, a comfortable fit for both women and men. Next up, a trendy, tie-dyed 100% cotton, low-profile cap. The hat is one-size-fits-most with a tri-glide buckle enclosure for adjusting the fit.

Who Benefits: All profit from the sales these items will help to fund the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and will help them to continue to serve their 25,000 clients in the San Francisco Bay Area.

How Much: Both the T-shirt and the tie-dye cap are $25.00.

How to Order: The Health Justice For All items, and many other items, are available at https://shop.sfaf.org/.

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Paul Richmond P Paul Richmond Studio

aul Richmond’s artwork, which has been shown in galleries across the United States, is known for its representational, figurative excellence combined with bold, wildly abstract brushstrokes, shapes, and colors. Many of his paintings (e.g., the “War Paint” series, the “Masks We Wear” series) are savagely beautiful confrontational expressions of issues that affect LGBTQ folx [A&U, September 2019].

But sometimes Paul’s cheeky inner child takes over and produces charming, unabashedly GAY “Cheesecake Boys.”

Tell Me More: The Cheesecake Boys series grew out of Paul’s fascination with pinup art from the forties and fifties. It was a more innocent time (at least on the surface), and artists concocted elaborate scenarios in order to justify disrobing their subjects. A loose nail, a doorknob, or a brisk wind would all work in a pinch, resulting in hapless models, all women, accidentally exposing their unmentionables.

These paintings explore how gender roles were reinforced by these artistic expressions of sexuality. Men may have had a free pass on wardrobe malfunctions in the good old days, but his Cheesecake Boys are here to even the score.

This holiday season, Paul is offering five of his Cheesecake Boys prints, three of which——“Catch of the Day,” “Mistletoe Madness,” “Sleigh Ride”—— have holiday themes. These are high-quality, archival limited-edition fine art prints on heavyweight, bright white, matte fine art paper with 100+ year archival certification from the Fine Art Trade Guild. Edition number, title, and artist signature are hand-written by the artist below the image in the white border. The prints are available in small (11 by 13 inches), medium (16 by 20 inches), and large (20 by 26 inches), except for “Mistletoe Madness” and “Stocking Stuffers,” which are available only in small.

How Much: Small prints are $55; medium, $100; and large, $175.

Who Benefits: Paul is donating 20% of all sales of Cheesecake Boys prints from now through December 25, 2021, to Visual AIDS [see next page].

How to Order: To order one of these adorable prints, or any of Paul Richmond’s other Cheesecake Boy prints and coloring books, log on to: https://paulrichmondstudio.com and navigate to the Cheesecake Boys shop.

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• NOVEMBER 2021

Visual AIDS S Visual AIDS

ince 1988, Visual AIDS has been one of the leading arts organization committed to raising AIDS awareness and fighting stigma. Their aim is to provoke dialogue and support HIV-positive artists by producing and presenting visual art projects, exhibitions, public forums, and publications. Their work preserves and honors the work of HIV-positive artists and other artistic contributions spurred by the epidemic as it preserves the legacy of the epidemic, because as Visual AIDS reminds us, “AIDS is not over.”

To support their efforts, Visual AIDS has collaborated with artists to create posters, buttons, broadsides, safe sex kits, and tote bags, such as the new books featured this year.

Tell Me More: Visual AIDS offers four books this holiday season: Darrel Ellis, a richly illustrated monograph on Ellis’ expressive transformations of photographic memory, charting his development from figurative painting to photographic experimentation and his later preoccupation with self-portraiture.

DUETS: Julie Ault & David Deitcher in Conversation focuses on William Olander, the influential art historian, New Museum curator, and Visual AIDS co-founder.

Comic Velocity: HIV and AIDS in Comics explores how artists and activists have used comics to create and shape conversations about HIV and AIDS. DUETS: Frederick Weston & Samuel R. Delany in Conversation, a wide-ranging dialogue, reflecting on their overlapping histories in Times Square, the deep impact of AIDS on their creative practices, and the ever-changing intersections of race, sex, language, and art.

How Much: Darrell Ellis, $49.95; Comic Velocity, $15; both Duets, $10 each.

Who Benefits: Your purchases will help Visual AIDS fight AIDS by provoking dialogue, supporting HIV+ artists, and preserving a legacy of HIV-positive artists and those artists whose work responds to the pandemic.

How to Order: For all orders, please go to https://visual-aids.mybigcommerce.com/shop/.

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MONEY MATTERS

by Alacias Enger

lifeguide

THE JOURNEY BEYOND THE BUY

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Navigating Your Finances After You Have the Keys

herese is a single, thirty-seven-year-old, New York City teacher. Having always wanted to work with children, Therese adores her job and the many wonderful benefits it provides her. Among those benefits, she has access to a high-quality health insurance plan, which she couples with a co-pay program that helps her with the costs of her medications. She also has a 401(k) in addition to her pension.

Teaching remotely during much of the COVID-19 pandemic made Therese realize that she needed more space than her tiny, one-bedroom apartment provided. So, when she started looking to make her first home purchase, she eventually settled on a two-bedroom condo just outside of the city. To facilitate this purchase, Therese utilized a combination of resources. She had managed to save $20,000 toward a down payment and took out a small 401(k)-loan to secure enough funds to cover a 10% down payment and closing costs. At the end of the transaction, Therese was left with a few thousand dollars in cash and a 401(k)-loan outstanding.

With the soaring cost of home prices, more Americans than ever are turning to 401(k) loans as a source of cash to put toward a home purchase. While this can provide much needed assistance, it is important to

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understand that taking a loan against retirement isn’t ideal and comes with some distinct disadvantages.

The first disadvantage is the loss of time in the market.

Compounding is one of the most powerful retirement building tools at our disposal and removing funds (even temporarily) is a major disruptor. Moreover, people become attracted by the offer of low monthly repayment options that stretch over a matter of years, further disrupting the growth of their nest egg. Also, people repay 401(k) loans using after-tax dollars, which slows the progress toward repayment. Another important consideration is that of job stability. If you become separated from employment while there is an outstanding 401(k) loan, the full balance of the loan becomes due within a specific time frame; otherwise, it becomes a distribution which can trigger taxes and penalties. Fortunately, Therese is a tenured teacher, and her position is fairly secure. That being said, she should still be looking to repay this loan as fast as possible in order to shorten the amount of time her money spends out of the market.

Since Therese purchased her home with 10% down rather than the traditional 20%, she was required to get Private Mortgage Insurance or PMI. PMI is a type of insurance that helps the lender recover funds in the event that the borrower fails to

repay the loan. In other words, homeowners that have PMI are paying for an insurance policy that protects their lender from them. PMI doesn’t actually protect the homeowner at all.

Plus, it’s expensive. There are a number of factors involved in determining the cost of PMI, but typically, you can expect to pay somewhere in the range of $40-$80 monthly per $100,000 borrowed. This adds up very quickly, especially for insurance that is only intended to protect the lender. The good news is that PMI is temporary. The bank is required to drop PMI under certain conditions, and it is possible for homeowners to achieve this sooner. Once a homeowner has achieved an 80% LTV (loan-tovalue, meaning a homeowner pays down the mortgage, the value increases, or both), PMI can be dropped, but likely the homeowner will have to officially request it. This is where it pays to pay attention. It is imperative that Therese carefully monitor the amount of equity she has in her home so that she doesn’t end up paying PMI any longer than necessary.

Therese should also turn her attention toward beefing up her emergency fund. Moving is already a major expense and doing so in one of America’s most expensive cities takes an extra toll on any savings account. Therese still has a few thousand dollars in savings after her home purchase and move, but that isn’t nearly enough to stave off a potential disaster.

Without a properly funded emergency fund, any home repair, loss of income, or medical emergency could create a huge financial setback. An emergency fund can insulate her from having that occur. Financial expert recommendations vary but starting off by building toward three to six months of expenses and then potentially increasing from there would be a wise plan.

Therese has come so far, achieving her goal of home ownership. By taking these next steps, she can save some money and further secure her financial future.

Alacias Enger is a performing artist, writer, and educator. She lives with her partner in New York City, and is the founder of blogs “Sense with Cents” and “Travel Cents.” Follow her on Twitter @sense_w_cents.

• NOVEMBER 2021

Under_Reported

by Chael Needle

HOME TRUTHS A New Testing Initiative Helps Black Women to Know Their Status & Stay on Top of Their Sexual Health

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new partnership seeks to improve HIV testing, counseling and care for Black women. Molecular Testing Labs is providing free HIV self-testing kits to Black Women’s Health Imperative (BWHI), a nonprofit created by Black women and dedicated to ensuring the health and wellness of Black women and girls in a holistic way. The kits are part of the array of resources found within On Our Own Terms (OOOT), a BWHI initiative that provides to Black women the information and tools that they need to make decisions about their sexual health and wellness, including the importance of knowing one’s HIV status.

By encouraging Black women to test in the privacy of their own home, the HIV awareness initiative hopes to make testing a routine part of healthcare, normalize conversations about HIV with sexual partners to minimize risk, and decrease the stigma around HIV testing. The initiative also hopes to help decimate a disparity——Black women, when compared to other women of other ethic/racial categories, are disproportionately affected by HIV/AIDS and affected to the greatest extent. According to the CDC, “Although annual HIV infections remained stable among Black women from 2014 to 2018, the rate of new HIV infections among Black women is 13 times that of white women and four times that of Latina women.” In a prepared statement, BWHI point to several challenges to explain this disproportionality: “financial hardship, an absence of quality health care and a distrust of providers, higher rates of some sexually transmitted infections, smaller sexual networks, and stigma.”

BWHI’s On Our Own Terms also provides women with access to “an informed network of organizations and experts focused on the prevention of HIV for, by and about Black cisgender and transgender women, as well as the care and treatment of women living with HIV,” according to a prepared statement.

Connection is key. One of the benefits of testing in a clinic or mobile site is that often individuals can be easily connected to care. A&U asked Brad Thorson, Director, Business Development, Molecular Testing Labs, if at-home testing helped fulfill this need to engage individuals in care. Thorson responded, “Molecular’s home testing still requires an overseeing provider who can follow up on positive tests. So no patient will learn about being HIV-positive without having some interaction with a licensed clinician. Self-collected test samples have other big benefits to patients——patients have more privacy because they give the samples at home, so there’s no risk of being seen by someone you know in a clinic; no need to make up excuses for absences;

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no need to take off work or make travel arrangements.

The patients who use self-collected testing at home actually reported higher engagement rates than regular patients.”

A&U recently had an opportunity to correspond with Nakesha Powell, On Our Own Terms Project Director, Black Women’s Health Imperative, about at-home testing and the organization’s aim to support Black women.

Chael Needle: In what way are BWHI/OOOT and resources like the free HIV testing kits a response to the medical mistrust and assumptions about Black individuals that the healthcare system helps to perpetuate? Is this a goal of OOOT——to be a trusted ally?

Nakesha Powell: For more than thirty-eight years, the Black Womens’ Health Initiative (BWHI) has worked to advance health equity and social justice for Black women through policy, advocacy, education, research, and leadership development. Our resources for HIV prevention and education include making free self-test kits available. That is in direct response to Black women often being left out of the conversation. There is evidence that shows Black women tend to be demeaned and criticized when seeking HIV care, testing, and resources. Many Black women are labeled “sexually irresponsible” for asking for an HIV test. Black women have higher rates of HIV infections and we believe these factors are part of the reason why. We have to change how testing is viewed and be part of the solution.

As someone who works in HIV messaging, so to speak, I love the various ways BWHI/OOOT reaches out to its clients and the efforts made to include everyone, cisgender and transgender.

Why is inclusion part of the solution to engaging in care?

It is important for every woman to see herself in our messaging, imagery, and delivery channel. This way, she knows we’re talking with her——not at her——and that BWHI is fighting every day to ensure she has access to care, and is included in research and therapeutic development.

Access to healthcare is a fundamental right, and we

want Black women to know there are policies in place to protect our health. Barriers as they relate to care based on gender identity only seek to cause greater harm to those who have the greatest disparities.

What would your organization like to see happen in the next five years in relation to Black women’s health? What are the short-term health goals?

We think it’s vitally important for Black women to be included in HIV therapeutic trials so we can be sure HIV prevention and treatment methods take our experiences into consideration. We also need to see many more researchers of color, particularly Black researchers, who consider the unique circumstances of Black women’s health related to HIV/AIDS. In the short term, we’d like to see more Black women understand their risk for HIV and take action by considering PrEP, practicing safer sex, and getting easy access to testing so they can know their HIV status through routine testing. We think self-collected at-home testing is key to all of this.

Is there anything we haven’t covered that you would like to cover?

Through programs like OOOT from BWHI and GetCheckedDC.org from the D.C. DOH, we regularly hear about patients participating who would have otherwise not gotten tested.

Equally as important is the population data that health departments have to identify geographic outbreaks and allocate services/interventions more effectively. By rejecting the paternalism of traditional diagnostics and meeting patients where they are, we can empower patients to advocate for their own health and build stronger and healthier communities.

For more information about Black Women’s Health Initiative, log on to: www.bwhi.org. For information about On Our Own Terms’ testing kit resources, visit: https://ooot.bwhi.org. To learn about Molecular Testing Labs, log on to: moleculartestinglabs.com.

Chael Needle is Managing Editor of A&U. Follow him on Twitter @ChaelNeedle.

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BO OKS BOOKS Between Certain Death and a Possible Future

Queer Writing on Growing Up with the AIDS Crisis Edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore Arsenal Pulp Press

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etween Certain Death and a Possible Future seeks to bridge a gap in AIDS-related literature. We are all familiar with the works written by women and men who lived with HIV/AIDS or cared for others during the eighties and early nineties, and we’ve begun to see work by younger queer writers about growing up in an era of HAART treatment and PrEP

prevention.

But, the book asks, what about those LGBTQ people who came of age and came out during the height of the AIDS crisis? Where are the voices of those young queer folx who came out in an era when prevailing thought held that “sex = death,” whose coming out should have been joyous but instead was tempered with existential fear?

Sycamore, the editor of this compilation, states in her introduction, “[T]here is another generation…one that came of age in the midst of the epidemic with the belief that desire intrinsically led to death, internalizing this trauma as part of becoming queer.” The thirty-six personal essays she has collected from writers of that generation come from diverse perspectives and are filled with fear, grief, and loss, of course; but they also contain great empathy, sharp analysis, and even humor, as the writers confront the ongoing impact of the AIDS pandemic.

Bryan M. Holdman writes lovingly in “Surviving My Cousin” about growing up with, and losing, his cousin Demetrius, as the two young Black gay men grew up with an abusive stepfather; after Dee is thrown out of the house, he acquires HIV and before long dies. Holdman writes, “I’ll always be asking myself the same questions: Why am I here? Why isn’t he?”

In “Hockey Night in Canada,” Berend McKenzie describes a harrowing scene from 1994: his friend Billy is lying on his death bed in the living room; Billy’s gay friends sit in the dining room, holding vigil, assisting Billy’s caregiver; his mother, father, and brother, the family who kicked Billy out of the house when he came out but have suddenly reappeared now that their son is dying (an event familiar to many of us). They sit watching the Canucks in the Stanley Cup finals; their response to their son’s moaning and groaning is to turn up the television to drown him out. Billy dies just as the Canucks lose. At that moment, Billy’s father turns off the television and says to Billy’s gay friends, “The Canucks were always a bunch of wimpy faggots.”

Writing of his generation in “To Say Good-Bye,” Andrew R. Spieldenner writes, “My capacity for friendship and intimacy emerged in the context of a dying generation. We learned how to attend funerals, to accept that some relationships go unresolved, and to say good-bye.” That might serve as a summation of the essays in this book.

—Hank Trout

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• NOVEMBER 2021

POD CAST PODCAST HIV Unmuted

Produced by the Internatinoal AIDS Society

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n the first episode of this informative and extraordinary podcast, host Femi Oki and her guests frame the ongoing fight against HIV/AIDS within the forty-year history of the virus both in the U.S. and globally. With one eye on the incredible progress that has been made, the holy grail——an effective vaccine——is still proving elusive. She points out the frustration that both the public and the scientific and advocate communities have felt when they have seen such rapid development of a vaccine against COVID and wonders why we haven’t seen the same progress in a vaccine for HIV. In the first episode we hear from none other than Dr. Michael Gottlieb, who was probably the first physician to see a pattern in the mysterious infections among gay men in Los Angeles and published the first article in a medical journal about the startling and almost unknown opportunistic infections in his young, gay male patients. He and several other of her guests decided to dedicate themselves to the study and treatment of AIDS before it even had a name.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, who has become (for better and sometimes to his detriment) a leading figure in the fight against COVID, brings his perspective as another scientist on the front lines at the inception of the AIDS crisis. He is perhaps her most fascinating guest who, in recognizing AIDS as a global problem, is quick to remind us that globally, AIDS reaches far beyond the marginalized communities that it decimated stateside. As always, his humanity and compassion as well as his passion for what he does transcend the politics that thwarted the fight against AIDS and seem to be doing the same now in the midst of another pandemic.

Across the episodes that are streaming (on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and other platforms), the IAS brings us the leading lights of science, medicine, and activism and reminds us that——even in the middle of another pandemic, a caustic and bellicose political scene, and a planet being devastated by a climate crisis——there is still much work to be done. Great advances in treatment and prevention have been made, but they do little good for those communities with no access to treatment and information. This series of talks reminds us that we must do better and that we must never give up the fight until this disease is eradicated. It’s an eye-opening and inspiring clarion call to action from some of our best warriors in the battle.

For more infomation, log on to: https://hivunmuted.iasociety.org.

—John Francis Leonard Hank Trout writes the For the Long column for A&U. John Francis Leonard writes the Bright Lights, Small City column for A&U.

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A Calendar of Events

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ne Heartland, the Midwest organization serving children living with or impacted by HIV/AIDS, will hold a hybrid in-person and online iteration of their annual fundraising gala Holiday in the Heartland on Saturday, December 4, 2021, celebrating their camp community and raising funds to provide a safe place for the kids who need it most.

This year, Holiday in the Heartland returns to the Dakota music venue at 1010 Nicollet Mall in Minneapolis Minnesota. The event will feature a check-in with cocktails and a silent auction at 5:30 p.m.; dinner at 7 p.m.; an inspirational program beginning at 7:45 p.m.; and a musical performance by a “Surprise Guest” to be announced soon.

In-person tickets for the gala cost $150 ($175 after November 1). Sponsorship opportunities are also available. Attending online is free.

The many services that One Heartland provides include: Camp Heartland for young people living with or affected by HIV/AIDS; Camp Northstar for children experiencing housing instability; Camp True Colors, for LGBTQ+ young people; Family Camp True Colors, for LGBTQ+ families; and Camp Hollywood HEART, an arts- and creativity-focused camp for young people living with or affected by HIV/AIDS. These and other One Heartland services are funded by donations and the annual gala.

For more information, please contact Patrick Kindler at patrick@oneheartland.org or log on to: www.oneheartland.org.

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POETRY

Derek Jarman's Death oil on photocopy on canvas, 1993

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You can’t see the headlines in black, white underneath: gay plague scourge vile doom you feel them melted under the shock of cadmium red deep, cerulean manganese, marigold chrome green pure flesh, raw umber trenches gouged by the living fingers of the artist scraping a cross Death the canvas still shakes —Lynn Caldwell Lynn Caldwell's poems hold fragments of her life on the west coast of Canada, in continental Europe and now in Dublin. They have found homes for themselves in Crosswinds Poetry Journal, the Irish Times, Aurora Poetry Journal, Crannog, and the Dedalus Press anthology Writing Home, among other places.

• NOVEMBER 2021

Brian had his HIV under control with medication. But smoking with HIV caused him to have serious health problems, including a stroke, a blood clot in his lungs and surgery on an artery in his neck. Smoking makes living with HIV much worse. You can quit.

CALL 1-800-QUIT-NOW.

#CDCTips

HIV alone didn’t cause the clogged artery in my neck.

Smoking with HIV did.

Brian, age 45, California

HOW DOES HIV TREATMENT WORK AS HIV PREVENTION Starting and sticking with HIV treatment every day helps lower the amount of HIV in your body. It can get so low it can’t be measured by a test.

That’s undetectable.

Less HIV in your body means it causes less damage. And according to current research, getting to and staying undetectable prevents the spread of HIV through sex.

It’s called Treatment as Prevention. Or TasP for short.

There’s no cure for HIV, but if you stick with treatment you can protect yourself and the people you care about.

Talk to a healthcare provider and watch It’s Called Treatment as Prevention at YouTube.com/HelpStopTheVirus

GILEAD and the GILEAD Logo are trademarks of Gilead Sciences, Inc. All other marks are the property of their respective owners. © 2020 Gilead Sciences, Inc. All rights reserved. UNBC7269 08/20